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1
00:00:16,596 --> 00:00:17,826
Geez!
2
00:00:19,482 --> 00:00:20,972
What the hell are you doing?
3
00:00:20,991 --> 00:00:24,221
Let me see, I was having a dream
about sharing a hammock with Beyoncé,
4
00:00:24,248 --> 00:00:26,438
then I got a face full of old man ass.
5
00:00:26,469 --> 00:00:27,829
No.
6
00:00:27,858 --> 00:00:30,928
No, I mean, what are you doing
here instead of your apartment?
7
00:00:30,928 --> 00:00:32,358
Did your roommate get lucky?
8
00:00:32,362 --> 00:00:33,252
Nope.
9
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The slump continues.
10
00:00:38,869 --> 00:00:41,399
We had no heat last
night; the landlord says
11
00:00:41,405 --> 00:00:43,705
they're "waiting for parts,"
but we know that's BS.
12
00:00:43,707 --> 00:00:44,727
Yeah, they're trying to make us leave
13
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,283
so they can convert those
apartments into luxury condos.
14
00:00:47,277 --> 00:00:49,737
Yeah. They haven't picked
up the garbage in two weeks.
15
00:00:49,746 --> 00:00:52,096
The cockroaches and the
rats couldn't be happier.
16
00:00:53,349 --> 00:00:54,459
It's vermin utopia.
17
00:00:54,483 --> 00:00:56,293
Worst Pixar movie ever.
18
00:00:57,054 --> 00:00:58,694
Maybe you better think about moving.
19
00:00:58,689 --> 00:01:00,259
To where? With all the rich people
20
00:01:00,257 --> 00:01:02,357
moving to uptown, there
ain't nothing we can afford.
21
00:01:02,359 --> 00:01:04,959
I'll tell you what, uh, Franco,
you can have my guest bed,
22
00:01:04,962 --> 00:01:08,722
and, Sweatpants, you can sleep
on the couch where Joanie died.
23
00:01:09,743 --> 00:01:11,113
So it's broken in.
24
00:01:11,934 --> 00:01:13,004
We got to get ready
for work. And thank you.
25
00:01:13,003 --> 00:01:15,253
But we're not moving out.
We got a year and a half left
26
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,806
on our lease, and you know me,
I ain't leaving without a fight.
27
00:01:17,808 --> 00:01:18,718
You're gonna freeze to death.
28
00:01:18,721 --> 00:01:19,791
We'll just buy a space heater.
29
00:01:19,811 --> 00:01:21,271
Or maybe cuddle for warmth.
30
00:01:22,555 --> 00:01:24,005
That is not happening, Sweatpants.
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Hate to break it to
you, but since you keep
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falling asleep first,
you don't get a vote.
33
00:01:38,551 --> 00:01:39,761
Hey, what's all that?
34
00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:42,095
I'm applying to become a sergeant.
35
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:44,230
I really need the extra money.
36
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My daughter got into Northwestern.
37
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Northwestern? Congratulations.
38
00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:49,840
Eh.
39
00:01:50,532 --> 00:01:51,832
Now I can pay a hundred grand
40
00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:54,304
to have her take mushrooms and
sleep around with a lot of guys.
41
00:01:57,259 --> 00:02:00,249
Which she could do at home for free.
42
00:02:02,371 --> 00:02:04,881
- Oh, crap!
- What?
43
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,510
It says I need a recommendation
from a current or former partner.
44
00:02:08,538 --> 00:02:11,338
So? There are a lot of people
you could ask. Seamus McGee.
45
00:02:11,645 --> 00:02:14,345
Liam O'Reilly. Paddy McGillicuddy.
46
00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,935
Why do all Irish cops
sound like sports bars?
47
00:02:18,329 --> 00:02:20,279
Yeah, but none of those
guys really liked me.
48
00:02:20,304 --> 00:02:22,494
They all thought I was too mean.
49
00:02:22,514 --> 00:02:23,994
Especially the fat ones.
50
00:02:25,365 --> 00:02:26,245
What are you gonna do?
51
00:02:26,622 --> 00:02:28,732
Well, if I want a good recommendation,
52
00:02:28,753 --> 00:02:30,923
I'm just gonna have to
start being nicer to James.
53
00:02:30,922 --> 00:02:32,022
Oh-ho.
54
00:02:32,023 --> 00:02:34,093
What? I can do it.
55
00:02:34,092 --> 00:02:37,192
Arthur, I dropped my
glasses in the urinal again.
56
00:02:38,039 --> 00:02:39,809
God help me.
57
00:02:40,188 --> 00:02:43,198
Then I hit my head when I bent
down to pick them up, and the...
58
00:02:43,201 --> 00:02:45,151
You know what? I forgot to pee.
59
00:02:53,037 --> 00:02:53,817
Oh, look.
60
00:02:53,843 --> 00:02:57,013
Somebody hearts his grandma.
61
00:02:57,041 --> 00:02:59,471
They've been renovating the laundry
room in our building for a month,
62
00:02:59,499 --> 00:03:01,659
so now we're down to our
back-of-the-closet clothes.
63
00:03:02,547 --> 00:03:05,517
And you're damn right
I heart my grandma.
64
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:08,420
Actually, I'm kind of
loving these dress pants.
65
00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:09,630
They make me feel dignified.
66
00:03:09,655 --> 00:03:12,315
Like the king of
England. Or Steve Harvey.
67
00:03:12,323 --> 00:03:15,923
The landlord's trying to push us out
68
00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:18,050
so he can turn the
building into fancy condos.
69
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,053
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
70
00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:21,383
Greedy developers only
ever care about profits,
71
00:03:21,415 --> 00:03:22,945
never about people.
72
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,840
Is there anything
that doesn't upset you?
73
00:03:24,839 --> 00:03:26,309
You're rich, you're white, you're young.
74
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,757
You won, baby. Take a lap.
75
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,177
Just got to find out
who owns the building.
76
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,309
Some new corporation bought it,
77
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,014
and I can't get them
to answer the phone.
78
00:03:35,016 --> 00:03:36,276
Well, what's the company called?
79
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,284
Coffee, please.
80
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,645
Chicago Property Holdings.
81
00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:41,223
Well, I'm off.
82
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:45,132
They own several businesses,
including a dry cleaners,
83
00:03:45,153 --> 00:03:49,263
and the owner's name is Fawz
Hamadani Farooq Al-Shahrani.
84
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,763
What? That's a very common name.
85
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,551
In Iraq, it's like Bob.
86
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:58,537
S-So you're the one
trying to push me out?
87
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,439
Fawz, you can't do that to Franco.
88
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,681
Yeah. You can't put
him out on the streets.
89
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,437
Look at those dimples.
90
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,345
He'll never survive.
91
00:04:06,268 --> 00:04:08,418
Well, in my defense, I
didn't know he lived there.
92
00:04:08,442 --> 00:04:10,522
All right, great. So
now you can back off.
93
00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:12,048
I can, but I won't.
94
00:04:12,053 --> 00:04:14,493
In three months, I'm gonna
turn that pile of crap
95
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,288
into high-end luxury lofts.
96
00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,490
And what about the tenants
who can't pay triple the rent?
97
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,692
I've already thought of
that... They will be replaced
98
00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:22,525
by tenants who can
pay triple the rent.
99
00:04:24,042 --> 00:04:24,932
Well, you know something?
100
00:04:24,956 --> 00:04:26,596
I'm not moving to some
dangerous-ass neighborhood
101
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,430
and taking three busses to work.
102
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:29,796
Busses are fun.
103
00:04:29,804 --> 00:04:32,444
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round. ♪
104
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,640
♪ And the bullets near the
bus go zing, zing, zing. ♪
105
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:38,483
What I'm doing is perfectly
legal. It's just business.
106
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,569
That doesn't mean it's right!
107
00:04:39,598 --> 00:04:41,978
Hey, there's no fighting in my shop!
108
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,552
Superior Donuts is a place
109
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:45,651
that people come to
have fun, and eat a donut
110
00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:47,993
and talk about the cops,
or how Walter Payton
111
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:51,018
was the NFL rushing leader in 1985.
112
00:04:51,025 --> 00:04:52,855
I believe it was Marcus Allen.
113
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,320
What, are you crazy? Walter Payton!
114
00:04:54,341 --> 00:04:55,691
No, it wasn't. I'll look it up.
115
00:04:55,715 --> 00:04:57,295
No one's looking it up!
116
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,118
Now, you see? That's fun.
117
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:01,304
Fine.
118
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:02,302
But this ain't over.
119
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,643
And I ain't taking this lying down.
120
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,437
That's right! When Franco takes it,
121
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,059
he takes it standing up.
122
00:05:08,829 --> 00:05:09,929
Not helping, man.
123
00:05:11,649 --> 00:05:13,829
Well, however you like to take it...
124
00:05:15,046 --> 00:05:16,276
there's nothing you can do.
125
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:19,743
Oh, yeah? Well, you know what,
what if I organized a protest?
126
00:05:19,765 --> 00:05:21,375
Me and the other tenants
can make a little noise,
127
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:22,514
let the world know what you're doing.
128
00:05:22,538 --> 00:05:24,748
A protest? Hey, let's
not get carried away.
129
00:05:24,771 --> 00:05:26,131
Yeah, I can picket right in front of
130
00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:27,287
your dry cleaners, right next door.
131
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:30,634
But that is my most profitable business.
132
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,451
I know.
133
00:05:34,824 --> 00:05:36,104
Franco, let me help.
134
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,203
I'm part of a campus group
that protests every weekend.
135
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:39,565
How do you want to do this?
136
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,713
Should we nude it up and
chain ourselves to a fence?
137
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:45,109
N-Nah. I was thinking
just a march with signs.
138
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:47,012
Nude march with signs?
139
00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:49,697
Just-just think about it.
140
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,924
If you want some picketing tips,
141
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,319
we had some pretty tough strikes
142
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:54,790
down at the factory.
143
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:57,659
Make sure you've got
plenty of petroleum jelly.
144
00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:58,708
What for?
145
00:05:58,737 --> 00:05:59,877
To coat your body.
146
00:05:59,909 --> 00:06:02,429
That way, if the cops grab
you, you just squirt right out.
147
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:08,811
No! Nobody is nude-ing
or coating or squirting.
148
00:06:09,706 --> 00:06:10,836
I'm gonna settle this thing right now.
149
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:13,208
Now, both of you, sit down. Sit down.
150
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:14,707
All right.
151
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,478
Now, both of you got to
just state your demands,
152
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,978
then we'll work it out, all right?
153
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,079
Franco, you go first.
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00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,650
Fine. I want to live
155
00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,249
in an apartment building that has heat,
156
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,320
a working elevator, a-and a guarantee
157
00:06:25,319 --> 00:06:27,639
that my rent won't double
once my lease is up.
158
00:06:27,665 --> 00:06:29,425
Fawz, your response?
159
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,587
Uh...
160
00:06:31,614 --> 00:06:32,904
no!
161
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,589
Time to picket!
162
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,885
All right, look, just make
sure that you keep it civil.
163
00:06:36,916 --> 00:06:39,096
This is a protest, not a riot.
164
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,469
A riot? Ooh!
165
00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:42,428
I'm gonna get to wear my riot gear.
166
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:43,996
I'm gonna go home and polish my helmet.
167
00:06:44,124 --> 00:06:46,044
Oh, my God, James.
168
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,710
Northwestern, not cheap.
169
00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,040
That is a great idea.
170
00:06:52,046 --> 00:06:54,176
You are gonna look so cool.
171
00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:55,430
All right!
172
00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:58,823
Yeah, you better watch out, Fawz.
173
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,289
♪ We gonna kick your ass. ♪
174
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,347
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
175
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:03,515
Do you heart your
grandma with that mouth?
176
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:06,534
Yeah, he does! He loves
his grandma with that mouth
177
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,577
all night long!
178
00:07:08,543 --> 00:07:10,863
You got to stop backing me up, man.
179
00:07:16,574 --> 00:07:18,384
- What do we want?!
- Affordable housing!
180
00:07:18,377 --> 00:07:20,137
- When do we want it?!
- Now!
181
00:07:20,146 --> 00:07:22,176
- What do we want?!
- Affordable housing!
182
00:07:22,181 --> 00:07:24,111
- When do we want it?!
- Now!
183
00:07:24,116 --> 00:07:25,746
Isn't he inspiring?
184
00:07:25,751 --> 00:07:28,021
Yeah. And you never said he was so cute.
185
00:07:28,020 --> 00:07:29,050
Back off, Amanda!
186
00:07:29,054 --> 00:07:30,294
Can I have a try?
187
00:07:30,289 --> 00:07:31,559
Yeah.
188
00:07:31,557 --> 00:07:33,757
Hey, girl! Hey, shorty in the red.
189
00:07:33,759 --> 00:07:35,489
You got a boyfriend?
190
00:07:35,494 --> 00:07:36,894
You want one?
191
00:07:36,896 --> 00:07:39,056
Sorry, ma'am! Keep walking!
192
00:07:39,064 --> 00:07:42,014
Sweatpants can't love a woman
until he learns to love himself!
193
00:07:43,932 --> 00:07:46,542
Come on, Arthur. Join us,
dude. We got plenty of signs.
194
00:07:46,539 --> 00:07:48,169
I told you, kid, I
don't like these things.
195
00:07:48,174 --> 00:07:49,814
I'm not getting involved.
196
00:07:49,808 --> 00:07:51,208
Oh.
197
00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:53,440
What, you on Fawz's side now?
198
00:07:53,445 --> 00:07:55,145
I don't pick sides. I'm neutral.
199
00:07:55,147 --> 00:07:56,547
Oh, so you're like Switzerland,
200
00:07:56,549 --> 00:07:58,619
with your cheese and your wooden shoes
201
00:07:58,617 --> 00:08:01,587
and your leaning towers and I
should've researched this first,
202
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,181
but you could be more supportive!
203
00:08:04,723 --> 00:08:06,593
I don't know, Arthur. Sometimes I think
204
00:08:06,592 --> 00:08:08,732
it's worth protesting
for what you believe in.
205
00:08:08,727 --> 00:08:11,327
I remember once
canvassing neighborhoods,
206
00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:12,630
manning the phones.
207
00:08:12,631 --> 00:08:13,461
Did it work?
208
00:08:13,465 --> 00:08:14,965
Well, the McRib came back,
209
00:08:14,967 --> 00:08:16,597
- so you tell me.
- Oh.
210
00:08:16,602 --> 00:08:18,442
They're just wasting their time.
211
00:08:18,437 --> 00:08:20,737
If people had a problem
with a ruthless businessman,
212
00:08:20,739 --> 00:08:22,529
we'd have a different
president right now.
213
00:08:23,175 --> 00:08:27,195
Fawz, I'm gonna miss you
when America's great again.
214
00:08:30,521 --> 00:08:32,981
Ma'am, do you really want
to give your money to a man
215
00:08:32,985 --> 00:08:35,685
who's displacing longtime
residents of this neighborhood?
216
00:08:36,036 --> 00:08:37,496
All right! Yeah!
217
00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:39,290
That's right!
218
00:08:39,291 --> 00:08:41,931
Oh, no! Don't chase her away!
219
00:08:41,927 --> 00:08:44,827
She's my best customer...
Sloppy eater, very sweaty.
220
00:08:44,830 --> 00:08:47,400
- What do we want?!
- Affordable housing!
221
00:08:47,399 --> 00:08:49,299
Yeah, yeah, I know what you want.
222
00:08:49,301 --> 00:08:51,171
Susan, come back!
223
00:08:52,856 --> 00:08:54,686
I feel I may be overdressed.
224
00:08:56,062 --> 00:08:57,742
No.
225
00:08:57,743 --> 00:08:59,343
Better safe than sorry.
226
00:08:59,345 --> 00:09:01,845
Besides, you look great.
227
00:09:01,847 --> 00:09:03,177
Really?
228
00:09:03,182 --> 00:09:04,542
'Cause I feel like a superhero.
229
00:09:04,569 --> 00:09:06,019
Oh, yeah.
230
00:09:06,018 --> 00:09:08,218
You totally look like a superhero.
231
00:09:09,188 --> 00:09:11,828
Whose superpower is never getting laid.
232
00:09:13,491 --> 00:09:16,931
- What was that?
- I said you look like Iron Man!
233
00:09:18,329 --> 00:09:21,479
I'm here with protest
leader Franco Wicks.
234
00:09:21,507 --> 00:09:22,957
Tell us what's going on.
235
00:09:22,985 --> 00:09:24,965
We're fighting the forces of
greed that are trying to push
236
00:09:24,970 --> 00:09:26,470
people out who have lived
here their whole lives.
237
00:09:26,472 --> 00:09:28,512
Namely this man, Fawz Al-Shahrani!
238
00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:34,680
Mr. Al-Shahrani, care to
comment on these accusations?
239
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:38,530
Uh, of course Mr. Wicks
is entitled to his opinion,
240
00:09:38,558 --> 00:09:42,488
and of course there's no
such thing as bad press.
241
00:09:42,488 --> 00:09:45,018
And for a good press, come
to America Dry Cleaning,
242
00:09:45,024 --> 00:09:47,364
where all shirts are
two-for-one on Thursdays.
243
00:09:47,381 --> 00:09:49,681
This does not include blouses.
244
00:09:50,567 --> 00:09:52,357
So you're just going
to ignore the protesters
245
00:09:52,364 --> 00:09:53,534
until they go away?
246
00:09:53,532 --> 00:09:54,872
No. That is not gonna happen.
247
00:09:54,867 --> 00:09:56,367
I don't care how long it takes!
248
00:09:56,368 --> 00:09:57,828
We're not gonna fold!
249
00:09:59,471 --> 00:10:01,541
You don't have to fold.
At America Dry Cleaning,
250
00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:03,620
we do it for you, free of charge.
251
00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:06,208
Do you worry that this
is going to escalate
252
00:10:06,211 --> 00:10:08,481
into some kind of altercation?
253
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,710
Uh, I don't know about altercation,
254
00:10:10,716 --> 00:10:12,716
but I do know about alterations.
255
00:10:12,718 --> 00:10:14,688
Ten percent off with every order.
256
00:10:14,687 --> 00:10:17,087
Listen here, Fawz, people
came here for the truth.
257
00:10:17,089 --> 00:10:20,019
And the truth is you're putting
poor people out on the streets.
258
00:10:20,025 --> 00:10:22,785
Uh...
259
00:10:23,628 --> 00:10:26,318
I got nothing. Back to you, Paul!
260
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:31,300
Good morning!
261
00:10:31,303 --> 00:10:32,743
Do you recognize this
dude from the news?
262
00:10:32,738 --> 00:10:34,668
- What do we want?
- Franco...
263
00:10:34,673 --> 00:10:36,413
- When do we want him?
- Franco...
264
00:10:36,408 --> 00:10:37,908
No, you're supposed to
say "now," but it's okay.
265
00:10:37,910 --> 00:10:39,110
I'll try it again. What do we want?
266
00:10:39,111 --> 00:10:40,611
- Franco!
- What?
267
00:10:40,612 --> 00:10:42,272
I need you to see something.
268
00:10:42,858 --> 00:10:44,308
Okay.
269
00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:48,317
Man, yesterday felt so good, you know?
270
00:10:48,347 --> 00:10:49,317
Like if you stand up for something,
271
00:10:49,321 --> 00:10:51,591
you can actually make
the world a better place.
272
00:10:51,590 --> 00:10:53,000
What?
273
00:10:57,982 --> 00:10:59,372
_
274
00:11:01,423 --> 00:11:03,523
So you arrived at 4:15 this morning.
275
00:11:03,526 --> 00:11:05,086
Did you see anyone suspicious?
276
00:11:05,095 --> 00:11:07,155
No. Oh, my God.
277
00:11:07,163 --> 00:11:09,233
You know, Fawz can be a jerk sometimes,
278
00:11:09,232 --> 00:11:11,402
but nobody deserves that.
279
00:11:11,401 --> 00:11:13,901
"Arab Go Home"?
280
00:11:13,904 --> 00:11:16,914
Randy, I don't want to
tell you how to do your job,
281
00:11:16,907 --> 00:11:20,407
but I think this one might
be racially motivated.
282
00:11:23,412 --> 00:11:25,212
Man, this is all my fault.
283
00:11:25,215 --> 00:11:26,845
What are you talking about?
284
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:29,480
You don't think one of the
protesters did this, do you?
285
00:11:29,486 --> 00:11:33,386
No, but... I put all that heat on Fawz,
286
00:11:33,456 --> 00:11:35,386
and that obviously
stirred up some nutjob,
287
00:11:35,410 --> 00:11:37,830
who saw it on the news,
that I brought here.
288
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:40,027
So, Randy, you think you
can find out who did it?
289
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:41,700
James is checking the
neighborhood to see
290
00:11:41,698 --> 00:11:44,228
if anyone saw anything
on their security cams.
291
00:11:44,234 --> 00:11:45,934
How's it going with you and James?
292
00:11:45,936 --> 00:11:48,696
He's a dork, and he couldn't
find his way to a vagina
293
00:11:48,705 --> 00:11:51,125
if he was the foreman
in a vagina factory.
294
00:11:53,806 --> 00:11:55,276
Thanks for asking.
295
00:11:55,649 --> 00:11:56,649
Hey, I have an idea.
296
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,910
Let's show Fawz that the
neighborhood is behind him.
297
00:11:58,931 --> 00:12:01,081
We could hold a unity
rally outside of his shop.
298
00:12:01,107 --> 00:12:04,217
No. I mean, I hate what
happened to Fawz, but...
299
00:12:05,957 --> 00:12:07,287
my protesting days are over.
300
00:12:07,313 --> 00:12:10,093
Uh-uh. Kid. No, kid.
301
00:12:10,113 --> 00:12:11,663
Don't put this on yourself.
302
00:12:11,683 --> 00:12:13,533
There's no way you could've
known that this was gonna happen.
303
00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:14,960
Except that you tried to warn me.
304
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,110
You said this would end badly,
remember? And you were right.
305
00:12:20,769 --> 00:12:22,459
Poor Franco.
306
00:12:23,431 --> 00:12:25,421
So, this vagina factory...
307
00:12:27,197 --> 00:12:28,737
... do you know if they're hiring?
308
00:12:29,848 --> 00:12:30,628
I'm, uh...
309
00:12:30,872 --> 00:12:33,002
I'm willing to take an
entry-level position.
310
00:12:36,036 --> 00:12:37,916
I got to do something about this.
311
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:40,251
Well, I didn't find anything
on the security camera.
312
00:12:40,839 --> 00:12:43,279
But I did see myself
on the news last night.
313
00:12:43,448 --> 00:12:45,078
Why didn't you tell me
I looked like an idiot?
314
00:12:45,104 --> 00:12:47,304
What? I thought you looked dashing.
315
00:12:47,297 --> 00:12:48,757
Oh, cut the crap, okay?
316
00:12:48,765 --> 00:12:51,765
I looked like a cross between a
Power Ranger and a Ninja Turtle.
317
00:12:53,013 --> 00:12:55,273
Those are two of your favorite toys.
318
00:12:55,271 --> 00:12:57,301
They're not toys if
they stay in the box!
319
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,831
Okay, look, I'm applying
to be a sergeant,
320
00:13:01,853 --> 00:13:03,953
and I need you to give
me a good recommendation.
321
00:13:03,947 --> 00:13:06,677
So I was trying not
to say anything mean.
322
00:13:06,683 --> 00:13:09,253
What kind of recommendation
did you think I would give you?
323
00:13:09,815 --> 00:13:12,545
Well, I've been known
to give you a hard time.
324
00:13:12,823 --> 00:13:15,173
I could start with your brutal honesty.
325
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:17,791
But I could also tell them
that you're a great cop
326
00:13:17,994 --> 00:13:18,934
and an even better person.
327
00:13:19,439 --> 00:13:21,129
I think you'd make an amazing sergeant.
328
00:13:22,759 --> 00:13:24,229
Thank you.
329
00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:29,091
They need the recommendation
by next Friday.
330
00:13:29,114 --> 00:13:33,064
Oh. So you have to be nice
to me until next Friday.
331
00:13:35,344 --> 00:13:36,694
Uh-huh.
332
00:13:37,570 --> 00:13:39,910
So do you want to hear
the Batman origin story
333
00:13:39,916 --> 00:13:41,676
or the Spider-Man origin story?
334
00:13:42,851 --> 00:13:44,791
I'm just kidding. You're
gonna hear them both.
335
00:13:44,812 --> 00:13:46,002
So...
336
00:13:53,841 --> 00:13:55,331
What?
337
00:13:55,357 --> 00:13:57,497
I just want to show you a few
things from my protesting days.
338
00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:00,900
Oh, yeah? Mr. I'm Not Getting
Involved was a protester?
339
00:14:00,904 --> 00:14:02,604
Yeah, actually. Yes.
340
00:14:02,605 --> 00:14:04,805
Here. My old jacket.
341
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,955
You know, back in the day, this
was considered out of sight.
342
00:14:07,987 --> 00:14:09,017
Oh.
343
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,872
Well, it's nice to see you didn't
always dress like a lesbian.
344
00:14:14,152 --> 00:14:17,612
- Just tell your story.
- All right, all right. It was 1964.
345
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,005
Lot of us were inspired
346
00:14:19,036 --> 00:14:22,096
by a man by the name of
Martin Luther King Jr.
347
00:14:22,364 --> 00:14:24,464
I'm familiar.
348
00:14:24,715 --> 00:14:25,825
My friends and I
349
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:28,224
went on a few local
civil rights marches.
350
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:29,630
Well, one day, we heard that there was
351
00:14:29,653 --> 00:14:31,883
gonna be this big protest
over in Grant Park.
352
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:33,350
- Yeah.
- Now, my dad tried to stop me,
353
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,153
but I said, "Out of my way, old man!"
354
00:14:35,171 --> 00:14:37,401
"I'm gonna change this world."
355
00:14:37,788 --> 00:14:39,658
Wow. You were really into it, huh?
356
00:14:39,688 --> 00:14:41,048
Yeah.
357
00:14:41,079 --> 00:14:43,479
I was also into this girl
that was gonna be there.
358
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,463
They were not so big
on bras in those days.
359
00:14:47,149 --> 00:14:48,969
- It was the era of free love.
- Yeah.
360
00:14:48,995 --> 00:14:50,975
And that was right in my price range.
361
00:14:52,645 --> 00:14:53,895
You know, I was all excited.
362
00:14:53,925 --> 00:14:55,525
I was walking to find my
friends, and I passed by
363
00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:57,820
this electronic store
with TVs in the window.
364
00:14:57,842 --> 00:15:00,342
- Okay.
- And that's when I saw it.
365
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:03,163
Police dogs, fire hoses,
366
00:15:03,189 --> 00:15:04,949
people getting tear-gassed.
367
00:15:04,978 --> 00:15:06,208
And I, uh...
368
00:15:06,887 --> 00:15:08,797
Well, I watched for
a minute, and then I...
369
00:15:09,495 --> 00:15:10,955
went home.
370
00:15:11,777 --> 00:15:14,457
- Why didn't you tell me this before?
- I was embarrassed.
371
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:16,194
All of my friends,
372
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:17,859
they were standing up for
what they believed in, and I
373
00:15:17,886 --> 00:15:18,886
chicken out.
374
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:24,372
Anyway, that was sort of, uh,
the end of my getting involved.
375
00:15:25,722 --> 00:15:28,162
But, you know, the past couple of days,
376
00:15:28,917 --> 00:15:30,517
you inspired me.
377
00:15:30,518 --> 00:15:33,148
Ah, I mean, that's great and all, but...
378
00:15:33,154 --> 00:15:35,654
dude, after seeing
what happened to Fawz...
379
00:15:36,925 --> 00:15:38,785
I'm done protesting, man.
380
00:15:38,793 --> 00:15:39,833
It's not worth it.
381
00:15:39,828 --> 00:15:41,388
No, no, no, it is, it is.
382
00:15:41,419 --> 00:15:44,089
Don't do what I did. Don't run away.
383
00:15:44,801 --> 00:15:46,541
Franco, you're a fighter.
384
00:15:47,068 --> 00:15:48,498
You got to fight.
385
00:15:48,503 --> 00:15:49,603
What's the point, Arthur?
386
00:15:49,604 --> 00:15:51,744
People are just gonna
twist your message around.
387
00:15:53,407 --> 00:15:55,237
My fighting days are over.
388
00:15:55,243 --> 00:15:58,113
Yeah, well, mine aren't.
389
00:16:05,056 --> 00:16:06,516
Where's he going with that spray paint?
390
00:16:06,955 --> 00:16:07,895
I don't know.
391
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:09,163
Don't huff it, Arthur!
392
00:16:09,181 --> 00:16:10,481
It's a gateway drug!
393
00:16:16,158 --> 00:16:17,728
Arthur, what's all this?
394
00:16:17,728 --> 00:16:19,428
I just want to make
sure that people know
395
00:16:19,429 --> 00:16:21,199
- that the jackass who
tagged Fawz's store
_
396
00:16:21,198 --> 00:16:23,358
doesn't speak for all of us.
397
00:16:23,366 --> 00:16:25,496
"Arabs welcome."
398
00:16:25,502 --> 00:16:26,802
Wow.
399
00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:28,373
And blacks aren't?
400
00:16:29,849 --> 00:16:31,039
No, I didn't mean that. I only...
401
00:16:31,062 --> 00:16:33,812
I'm just playing. I'm just playing, man.
402
00:16:33,810 --> 00:16:35,080
This is beautiful.
403
00:16:35,103 --> 00:16:36,953
You're pretty inspiring, yourself.
404
00:16:36,947 --> 00:16:38,177
But you're not worried
405
00:16:38,181 --> 00:16:39,881
some lunatic might see this
406
00:16:39,883 --> 00:16:41,183
and throw a brick through your window?
407
00:16:41,202 --> 00:16:43,842
Hey, listen, if I get hurt doing
the thing that I believe in,
408
00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:44,917
I can live with that.
409
00:16:45,350 --> 00:16:47,760
Oh, no, they got you, too?
410
00:16:48,692 --> 00:16:51,142
What kind of person hates
Arabs and Jews?
411
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,281
Pick a side!
412
00:16:53,302 --> 00:16:54,272
Fawz.
413
00:16:54,371 --> 00:16:55,571
Look at the window.
414
00:16:59,869 --> 00:17:01,539
Arthur, you did this?
415
00:17:01,538 --> 00:17:03,068
Yes.
416
00:17:05,641 --> 00:17:07,311
Well, I'm very touched.
417
00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:09,280
Well...
418
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,249
Thank you.
419
00:17:14,316 --> 00:17:15,776
You're welcome.
420
00:17:15,786 --> 00:17:18,676
Now I'm gonna get that
graffiti off your window.
421
00:17:23,826 --> 00:17:25,896
Fawz...
422
00:17:25,924 --> 00:17:27,764
I'm so sorry, man.
423
00:17:27,873 --> 00:17:30,323
I feel like all this was my fault.
424
00:17:33,421 --> 00:17:35,571
It's not your fault.
425
00:17:35,572 --> 00:17:37,372
There's a lot of crazies out there.
426
00:17:38,061 --> 00:17:39,041
- Yeah.
- I just wish
427
00:17:39,042 --> 00:17:41,412
they would stop hating me
for the color of my skin
428
00:17:41,411 --> 00:17:43,851
and instead hate me for
the content of my character.
429
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,620
That was Dr. King's dream, right?
430
00:17:51,561 --> 00:17:53,031
It's close enough.
431
00:17:53,056 --> 00:17:54,886
But I feel you, man.
432
00:17:54,891 --> 00:17:56,831
Try being a black dude in Chicago
433
00:17:56,827 --> 00:17:59,027
and having to deal with
stop-and-frisk every ten feet.
434
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:02,733
Try going through airport security
435
00:18:02,732 --> 00:18:05,632
as Fawz Hamadani Farooq Al-Shahrani.
436
00:18:07,937 --> 00:18:10,437
All four of my names
are on the watch list.
437
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,740
Yeah.
438
00:18:11,741 --> 00:18:13,121
That's messed up.
439
00:18:13,148 --> 00:18:15,848
- Yeah, we can agree on that.
- Yeah.
440
00:18:16,446 --> 00:18:20,676
So, uh, I assume with
all this happening,
441
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:22,954
your tenant protest is over?
442
00:18:22,953 --> 00:18:24,193
Depends.
443
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,317
You gonna stop trying to force us out?
444
00:18:26,323 --> 00:18:29,223
Well, I'm not doing anything illegal.
445
00:18:29,226 --> 00:18:31,886
It's my right to do
business the way I see fit.
446
00:18:31,895 --> 00:18:32,855
All right, then.
447
00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:34,963
Good luck.
448
00:18:34,965 --> 00:18:36,965
You gonna need it.
449
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,150
Not as much as you.
450
00:18:40,604 --> 00:18:41,774
Look at us.
451
00:18:41,771 --> 00:18:43,541
An Arab shaking hands with a black man
452
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,570
while a Jew removes racist graffiti.
453
00:18:47,644 --> 00:18:50,314
God bless America, man!
454
00:18:50,313 --> 00:18:52,083
Amen.
455
00:18:54,774 --> 00:18:57,064
Got supplies for the
unity rally. Isn't it nice
456
00:18:57,086 --> 00:18:59,296
when something good
can come of a bad thing?
457
00:18:59,321 --> 00:19:00,991
Yeah, like my divorce.
458
00:19:00,990 --> 00:19:03,360
My ex went on to marry a
dentist, have three kids
459
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,089
and a big house on the North Shore.
460
00:19:05,094 --> 00:19:06,634
I live in a studio apartment
461
00:19:06,629 --> 00:19:08,509
with a twin waterbed and a parrot.
462
00:19:09,765 --> 00:19:11,935
I think we know who won.
463
00:19:13,950 --> 00:19:16,120
Hey, look what I found!
464
00:19:16,141 --> 00:19:19,541
I can still use this
sign from my '64 protest.
465
00:19:19,563 --> 00:19:20,663
- Huh? Isn't that great?
_
466
00:19:20,657 --> 00:19:24,757
Yeah. And 50 years later,
we still have racism, so...
467
00:19:25,562 --> 00:19:26,862
Yay!
468
00:19:28,685 --> 00:19:30,195
Hello, everyone.
469
00:19:30,959 --> 00:19:32,029
Franco,
470
00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:35,254
I might be feeling emotional
because of this unity rally,
471
00:19:35,255 --> 00:19:38,455
but I've decided to
let you and Pantsuit...
472
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:39,571
It's Sweatpants.
473
00:19:40,650 --> 00:19:42,940
Sure, because that is less ridiculous.
474
00:19:44,557 --> 00:19:47,377
Anyway, I will make it so you
and all the other poor people
475
00:19:47,402 --> 00:19:48,922
can stay in the building.
476
00:19:50,324 --> 00:19:51,434
Yeah?
477
00:19:51,535 --> 00:19:52,915
Dude. Thanks, man.
478
00:19:52,946 --> 00:19:55,576
That's dope, man. I appreciate that.
479
00:19:55,841 --> 00:19:57,271
See that, Franco, huh?
480
00:19:57,294 --> 00:19:58,834
It's worth fighting for what matters.
481
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,164
I saw the light.
482
00:20:00,655 --> 00:20:03,975
Well, you saw the light and
that tax loophole I showed you
483
00:20:04,006 --> 00:20:05,536
where keeping your low-income tenants
484
00:20:05,561 --> 00:20:07,931
gets you big subsidies from the city.
485
00:20:12,731 --> 00:20:15,961
- Really, Fawz?
- What?
486
00:20:16,313 --> 00:20:18,883
Everybody wins.
487
00:20:19,536 --> 00:20:20,716
America!
488
00:20:21,717 --> 00:20:23,017
Hot dogs!
489
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:28,153
Apple pie!... Go Cubs?
490
00:20:29,898 --> 00:20:33,698
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