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- [Narrator] You are about
to witness the Super Awesome
2
00:00:05,671 --> 00:00:07,607
Story of Mark and Gary.
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00:00:08,874 --> 00:00:12,578
From the very beginning,
they had big dreams.
4
00:00:12,611 --> 00:00:15,648
But they didn't just build
extraordinarily large
5
00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:17,116
Lego castles, no.
6
00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:22,055
As teenagers, they discovered
a love for the arts.
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00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:24,724
It was a passion that
fueled them both.
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00:00:24,757 --> 00:00:28,327
Plus, they also got to
have sweet sword fights.
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00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:31,864
Time passed and they
grew older, but they were
10
00:00:31,897 --> 00:00:35,535
still inseparable, and
Mark's grandma was always
11
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:37,303
there to support.
12
00:00:37,336 --> 00:00:40,205
They continued to push
the boundaries of theater.
13
00:00:40,239 --> 00:00:42,608
Their Hamlet with a Down
syndrome Chinese boy
14
00:00:42,641 --> 00:00:45,812
as Ophelia earned them
national recognition.
15
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:49,482
But, they weren't the
only ones making waves.
16
00:00:49,515 --> 00:00:52,652
An ex lawyer, Fairfax
Ward, was quickly becoming
17
00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:55,655
the new face of edgy
political theater.
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00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:59,292
Mark and Gary thought
he was a total dick.
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00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:01,894
They both loved dogs,
too, and would make
20
00:01:01,927 --> 00:01:04,497
a bit of money in their
down time with a dog walking
21
00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:06,032
business.
22
00:01:06,065 --> 00:01:08,935
They used this quiet time to
come up with their next hit,
23
00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:12,372
and boy did they come
up with a next hit.
24
00:01:13,539 --> 00:01:16,008
Gilded Lilies was
totally awesome.
25
00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:18,978
A gay love story they
wrote and directed.
26
00:01:19,011 --> 00:01:21,848
It was a hit with
audiences around the world.
27
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:26,352
They were being courted
by producers and
studios everywhere.
28
00:01:26,385 --> 00:01:29,922
This success allowed them
to create work with meaning
29
00:01:29,955 --> 00:01:32,459
and drink super sweet whiskey.
30
00:01:33,826 --> 00:01:37,095
But they held down their
jobs at lifelong friend Deb's
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00:01:37,129 --> 00:01:38,598
comic book shop.
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00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:41,634
They got to play with
toys whenever they wanted,
33
00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,803
which was pretty sweet.
34
00:01:43,836 --> 00:01:47,373
Sometimes, greatness is
thrust upon the least
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00:01:47,406 --> 00:01:49,342
likely of people.
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00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:53,546
In a world that demands change,
equality, and celebration,
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00:01:54,513 --> 00:01:56,916
leaders are required.
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00:01:56,949 --> 00:02:00,853
Mark and Gary had no idea
what lay around the corner
39
00:02:00,886 --> 00:02:02,121
for them.
40
00:02:02,154 --> 00:02:04,056
Over to you, boys.
41
00:02:04,089 --> 00:02:07,827
- Who are you to stand here
on stolen soil and tell us
42
00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:09,929
that we can't come here?
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00:02:09,961 --> 00:02:11,497
Racist.
44
00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:13,032
War.
45
00:02:13,065 --> 00:02:16,136
It is also bad, we
have Frankenstein.
46
00:02:17,169 --> 00:02:18,238
But I am you.
47
00:02:22,841 --> 00:02:25,912
- Listen, Dostoevsky
tomorrow night, directing.
48
00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,146
So listen.
49
00:02:27,179 --> 00:02:28,681
I'm only getting 17 cats
into that dilapidated
50
00:02:28,714 --> 00:02:31,083
converted jail, I want
you two to be there.
51
00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:32,318
What do you say?
- Great, love to.
52
00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:33,586
- Cheers, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
53
00:02:33,619 --> 00:02:35,454
Deals with the rejection
of utopian socialism.
54
00:02:35,487 --> 00:02:36,956
What were you guys saying?
55
00:02:36,989 --> 00:02:39,158
- Refugees struggling--
- Love your African's abs.
56
00:02:39,191 --> 00:02:40,693
That shit's smart.
57
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:52,705
Yeah, yeah.
58
00:02:55,774 --> 00:02:58,544
Can't get enough of that shit.
59
00:02:58,577 --> 00:03:00,780
Tomorrow night, that
shit will be on tap.
60
00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:01,648
Yo.
61
00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:07,420
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, hey.
62
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:10,156
- Oh, guys, that was
just, I don't know.
63
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:11,691
Wow.
64
00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:12,959
- Thanks, Deb.
- Thanks, Deb.
65
00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:15,094
- Alan fucking brung it.
- Yeah, it was awesome.
66
00:03:15,127 --> 00:03:16,229
- Great.
67
00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:19,432
What are you looking at?
- Racism is bad.
68
00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:20,900
- [Both] It is.
69
00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:22,234
- Nothing better than
two white boys telling me
70
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,736
how hard it is to be black.
71
00:03:23,769 --> 00:03:25,004
- Oh, dude, that's not--
- Just yanking your wang.
72
00:03:25,037 --> 00:03:26,505
It was shit, though.
73
00:03:26,538 --> 00:03:29,976
- Thanks, appreciate it, man.
- I'm white.
74
00:03:34,313 --> 00:03:35,113
- All right here we go.
75
00:03:35,147 --> 00:03:36,548
Here we go, mate.
76
00:03:41,887 --> 00:03:42,722
- Wanker.
77
00:03:47,893 --> 00:03:48,728
Oh, man.
78
00:03:50,996 --> 00:03:53,199
Every Rocky movie after
the original was critically
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00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:55,067
panned and yet the
franchise has grossed over
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00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,569
a billion dollars.
- OK, firstly,
81
00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:58,504
we'll be lucky to make a
hundred bucks with our play,
82
00:03:58,537 --> 00:04:01,340
secondly, Rocky is
a dumb action movie.
83
00:04:01,373 --> 00:04:03,009
- It's not a dumb action movie.
84
00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:05,077
It's one of the most beautiful
love stories ever told.
85
00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:07,446
- No, no, PS I Love
You is a love story.
86
00:04:07,479 --> 00:04:09,949
Rocky is not a love story,
it's an action movie.
87
00:04:09,982 --> 00:04:11,350
- Are you retarded?
- No.
88
00:04:11,383 --> 00:04:13,219
Rocky is a movie about
a retarded boxer.
89
00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:15,821
Adrian, Adrian.
- It's a metaphor for life.
90
00:04:15,854 --> 00:04:17,256
- Yeah, but it's the
only metaphor you
91
00:04:17,289 --> 00:04:18,690
use for anything ever.
- Yeah, there's
92
00:04:18,724 --> 00:04:19,991
a reason for that.
- Whatever, let's just agree
93
00:04:20,024 --> 00:04:21,726
to disagree.
- Fine.
94
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,728
- Hey guys.
95
00:04:22,761 --> 00:04:23,729
- Hey, Deb.
- Looking good.
96
00:04:23,762 --> 00:04:25,298
- Thanks.
97
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:26,365
- What's up, fellas?
98
00:04:26,398 --> 00:04:27,566
Disturbance in the force?
99
00:04:27,599 --> 00:04:29,468
- The review, she
gave it one out of 10.
100
00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:30,870
- She's lame.
101
00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:32,505
She's a middle school
coordinator of Lameville High.
102
00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:35,374
Hey, I was watching some
Robert Kiyosaki on YouTube,
103
00:04:35,407 --> 00:04:37,376
and he said something
about first one through
104
00:04:37,409 --> 00:04:38,811
the wall gets a bit bloodied.
105
00:04:38,844 --> 00:04:40,680
- Didn't he just go bankrupt?
106
00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:43,316
- Keep fighting the good fight.
107
00:04:46,652 --> 00:04:48,154
- I've had worse reviews.
- Often times,
108
00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:50,289
the first one through the
wall gets a bit bloodied.
109
00:04:50,322 --> 00:04:52,224
- You guys suck.
110
00:04:52,257 --> 00:04:53,926
- Whatever, sugars.
111
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:55,294
- Hey, bring it, OK?
112
00:04:55,327 --> 00:04:56,962
Paying audience, bring it.
113
00:04:56,995 --> 00:04:59,632
(hip hop music)
114
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:11,377
- Hi.
- Hey, glad you could make it.
115
00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:12,511
- Are you kidding?
116
00:05:12,544 --> 00:05:15,046
We fucking love Dostoevsky.
117
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,317
(dramatic music)
118
00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:20,453
- Let's go in.
- Let's go.
119
00:05:22,688 --> 00:05:25,091
(rock music)
120
00:05:30,028 --> 00:05:32,031
- Is that Jack Simpson?
- Fuck yeah.
121
00:05:32,064 --> 00:05:33,999
- Do you want to meet him?
- Serious?
122
00:05:34,032 --> 00:05:36,234
- Yeah, yeah, no worries.
- Hey, Jack.
123
00:05:36,268 --> 00:05:37,635
Jack, hey.
124
00:05:37,669 --> 00:05:38,938
It's Mark.
125
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:40,639
- Hey, Gary.
126
00:05:40,672 --> 00:05:41,874
Gaza.
127
00:05:41,907 --> 00:05:43,241
Gilded Lilies.
- Yeah, right.
128
00:05:43,275 --> 00:05:44,777
How are you doing guys?
- Good.
129
00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:46,379
- Been a while, yeah?
- Not that long.
130
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,147
Just we know each other.
- Yeah, hey, look,
131
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,715
this is Violet and Paige.
132
00:05:49,748 --> 00:05:53,919
- Can I just say I loved
you in Legal Murder?
133
00:05:53,952 --> 00:05:56,822
- Sorry, and West Side Story.
134
00:05:56,855 --> 00:05:59,425
You like, such masculinity and--
135
00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:00,593
- Thanks, ladies.
136
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,294
You guys catch Gilded Lilies?
137
00:06:02,327 --> 00:06:04,797
These guys were absolutely
incredible in that.
138
00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:06,699
I mean, seriously, honest work.
139
00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:08,000
And that kiss, guys.
140
00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:10,369
It totally broke me, yeah?
141
00:06:10,402 --> 00:06:12,171
You doing a film
version or something?
142
00:06:12,204 --> 00:06:13,672
- Yeah, we've written it.
- Some producers optioned it.
143
00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:16,207
- Yes, it's in the works,
but what are you up to?
144
00:06:16,241 --> 00:06:18,344
You must be filming and like
doing all sorts of cool--
145
00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:21,214
(melodic honking)
146
00:06:26,418 --> 00:06:28,888
- Jack fucking Simpson.
147
00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:30,156
(laughing)
148
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:31,590
- Fairfax fucking Ward.
149
00:06:31,623 --> 00:06:33,692
- Jack Simpson in the flesh,
as I live and breathe.
150
00:06:33,725 --> 00:06:35,761
The jewel in our artistic world.
151
00:06:35,794 --> 00:06:38,697
(laughing)
152
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:39,832
Oh, man.
153
00:06:39,865 --> 00:06:41,534
Look at you.
- Hey, Fairfax.
154
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,935
- Hey, Mack, Guy.
155
00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:44,270
- It's Mark.
- Gary.
156
00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:47,506
- My God, come here,
come here, come here.
157
00:06:47,539 --> 00:06:48,741
Oh, man.
158
00:06:48,774 --> 00:06:49,708
- Didn't I tell you I'd come?
159
00:06:49,741 --> 00:06:52,178
(chattering)
160
00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:55,848
- You look beautiful, man.
161
00:06:55,881 --> 00:06:57,215
Thank you, thank you.
162
00:06:57,249 --> 00:06:59,452
- Since that nightmare.
- Don't even talk about,
163
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:00,786
I can't even laugh about that.
164
00:07:00,819 --> 00:07:02,154
I can't even laugh about that.
165
00:07:02,187 --> 00:07:04,890
- Worst show ever.
- That shit you showed
166
00:07:04,923 --> 00:07:06,525
last time might
have won that prize.
167
00:07:06,558 --> 00:07:08,394
- Oh, sorry, we don't
make undies for a living.
168
00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:10,429
- Carl and Shay have an
underwear line specifically
169
00:07:10,462 --> 00:07:12,198
for the contemporary gay.
170
00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:14,099
- Soft men's wear.
- Expanding into the lesbian
171
00:07:14,132 --> 00:07:15,234
market next spring.
172
00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:17,170
- I'll keep an eye out.
173
00:07:19,471 --> 00:07:20,940
- No tweeting at the table.
174
00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:22,441
- Fuck off you fat
fucking orange face.
175
00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:23,709
- You know I hate that shit.
176
00:07:23,742 --> 00:07:25,144
- Twitter's for nerds.
- No, it's hands down
177
00:07:25,177 --> 00:07:27,746
the best social media platform,
it is an all access pass.
178
00:07:27,779 --> 00:07:29,114
Anything's possible.
179
00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:30,582
- Jay's like God
in Twittersphere.
180
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,051
He's got a million followers.
181
00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:33,752
- One point one million, fat.
- Why are you so popular?
182
00:07:33,785 --> 00:07:36,288
- I am an entrepreneur.
183
00:07:36,321 --> 00:07:38,123
- Fuck off, you
make undies, man.
184
00:07:38,156 --> 00:07:39,992
- Fuck off, you walk dogs.
- You walk dogs?
185
00:07:40,025 --> 00:07:41,527
- No.
- When he's not
186
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:42,628
selling comics.
187
00:07:42,661 --> 00:07:44,497
- You sell comics.
188
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:48,299
- Better than undies, right?
- Those undies got us a two
189
00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:50,169
bedroom apartment in
the heart of the city.
190
00:07:50,202 --> 00:07:51,971
Meanwhile, you two drag
your dicks along the ground,
191
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,305
don't do nothing.
192
00:07:53,338 --> 00:07:54,540
- Really, I've got so many--
- Stay.
193
00:07:54,573 --> 00:07:56,407
- I need to learn some
lines for tomorrow.
194
00:07:56,441 --> 00:07:59,979
- I'll call you, I'll call
you, I'll call you tomorrow.
195
00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:01,581
- So, I'll text ya.
196
00:08:03,048 --> 00:08:04,216
- You know that's like the
hottest, they're the most
197
00:08:04,249 --> 00:08:06,619
beautiful women.
- Those fucking girls.
198
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,753
They were so hot.
- Was that supposed
199
00:08:08,787 --> 00:08:10,522
to be Al Pacino?
- It is Al Pacino,
200
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,892
mother fucker.
- No, it's about hu-ah.
201
00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:14,093
She got a great ass.
202
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:16,828
- She got a great personality.
203
00:08:16,862 --> 00:08:18,497
- She got a great dress on.
204
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:21,700
- She got a great recipe
for a muesli bar slice.
205
00:08:21,733 --> 00:08:25,104
- She got a great set of
shoes that are orthopedic
206
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:26,906
and don't give her back pain.
207
00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:28,707
- Let's go play Twister.
- I'm hungry.
208
00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:29,642
- [Shay] Man, you've already had
209
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:30,576
like four fucking Pad Thais.
210
00:08:30,609 --> 00:08:31,810
- Well, I'm a big boy, aren't I?
211
00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:33,212
- Fuck yeah you are.
- It's not fucking
212
00:08:33,245 --> 00:08:34,947
porn Twister.
213
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:37,449
(beeping)
214
00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:38,317
Game off.
215
00:08:40,619 --> 00:08:42,588
- What an angel.
216
00:08:42,621 --> 00:08:44,823
Listen to her message.
- Who?
217
00:08:44,856 --> 00:08:46,025
- My niece.
218
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:48,360
- Meh.
- What do you mean, "Meh"?
219
00:08:48,393 --> 00:08:50,296
- I mean, "Meh," kids, whatevs.
220
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:52,497
What, it's not like it's yours.
221
00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:54,165
- It's my niece, bro.
222
00:08:54,199 --> 00:08:55,367
- OK, rolling.
223
00:08:57,669 --> 00:08:59,138
- Hello, Muffy.
224
00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:01,173
You look even more beautiful
than the real Snow White.
225
00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:03,776
- And she is hot.
- Happy birthday, sweetie.
226
00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:05,343
Wish I was there.
227
00:09:05,377 --> 00:09:08,646
Now here's my friends to
say something very special.
228
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:10,949
(coughing)
229
00:09:11,783 --> 00:09:12,785
- Muffy.
230
00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,887
Hi, I'm Gary, you're little.
231
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,823
Don't forget, you can't
be in your princess shoes
232
00:09:17,856 --> 00:09:19,858
after midnight,
it's time to change.
233
00:09:19,891 --> 00:09:22,828
- It's not Cinderella.
- We're all the same.
234
00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:25,931
Cinderella, Snow
White, Darth Vader.
235
00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:28,300
Oh, and don't eat
too much sugar.
236
00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:29,735
It's the baddest.
237
00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:33,005
- Hey, Fluffy.
238
00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:36,775
I think it's really sad that
Snow White ate the red apple
239
00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:38,811
and went to sleep for so long.
240
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:41,013
It makes me really sad.
241
00:09:41,046 --> 00:09:43,983
I really think we should
do something about it.
242
00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:47,185
I hope your life isn't
doomed like hers.
243
00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:49,254
- She's two, you fucking morons.
244
00:09:49,287 --> 00:09:53,125
- All right, I didn't know you
were like into kids and shit.
245
00:09:53,158 --> 00:09:54,660
- I love her, have some respect.
246
00:09:54,693 --> 00:09:56,495
- [Gary] Well, if you love
'em so much, get your own.
247
00:09:56,528 --> 00:09:57,763
- Maybe we will.
248
00:09:57,796 --> 00:09:58,597
(coughing)
249
00:09:58,630 --> 00:09:59,465
- What?
250
00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:00,433
Like adopt?
251
00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,369
Do you guys want to get married?
252
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:04,837
- Well, it's not that easy.
- Especially with your dad.
253
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:06,872
Fucking conservative coconut.
254
00:10:06,905 --> 00:10:09,608
You fat fucking islander.
255
00:10:09,641 --> 00:10:11,977
- Actually, that's
not a bad idea.
256
00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:13,212
- What?
257
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:15,180
- Like, a couple of,
like a play, you know?
258
00:10:15,213 --> 00:10:17,483
Like a musical, there's
like a couple of guys
259
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:21,587
that want to get
married, but they can't.
260
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,122
- Yeah, fuck yeah.
261
00:10:24,089 --> 00:10:26,425
Like anti marriage shit.
262
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:30,429
Equality stigma.
- Family full of haters.
263
00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:33,866
- Fucking chuck in a Chinese
kid that's fucking adopted.
264
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:37,703
- You know, just crack open
what it's like for you gays,
265
00:10:37,736 --> 00:10:39,004
you guys.
- They could have AIDs,
266
00:10:39,037 --> 00:10:42,675
one of 'em.
- Or it could be like Glee.
267
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,043
- What, a musical?
268
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,377
- Fuck yeah.
- Fuck yeah.
269
00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:47,079
- Fuck yeah, mm hmm.
270
00:10:48,413 --> 00:10:50,249
- That's actually
not a bad idea, boys.
271
00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:52,751
Except for the AIDs part.
- It's current.
272
00:10:52,784 --> 00:10:54,218
- Nah, musicals are expensive.
273
00:10:54,252 --> 00:10:56,155
- Fuck that, when
I get my docko--
274
00:10:56,188 --> 00:10:57,289
- Here we go.
275
00:10:58,156 --> 00:10:59,590
- No, no, no, OK.
276
00:10:59,624 --> 00:11:01,226
I raised--
- 75,000 through
277
00:11:01,259 --> 00:11:02,661
crowd sourcing, we know.
278
00:11:02,694 --> 00:11:04,128
- Listen, morons.
279
00:11:04,162 --> 00:11:06,198
Most of the gay community
still remember you two
280
00:11:06,231 --> 00:11:07,633
from the Gilded Lilies.
281
00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:08,934
You have an in.
282
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:14,473
There's money to be made
in something like this.
283
00:11:17,809 --> 00:11:20,779
- [Woman] I love you,
but I can't be with you.
284
00:11:20,812 --> 00:11:22,247
You're my brother.
285
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,882
- [Narrator] Next week
on Days of Our Lives,
286
00:11:24,916 --> 00:11:26,752
Neville McBebee guest stars.
287
00:11:26,785 --> 00:11:30,021
(chattering, laughing)
288
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:34,360
- Man, Neville McBebee.
- The Bebe.
289
00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:37,129
- [Gary] Grandma.
290
00:11:37,162 --> 00:11:38,931
- Gary and I got a beard on
Ebay for this Darth Vader
291
00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:41,133
suit, and it's like a
full replica from on set.
292
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,001
- Yeah, it's like
directly from the movies.
293
00:11:43,034 --> 00:11:44,670
- Helmet, chest plate.
- You wouldn't know.
294
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:45,938
It's like you're in the movie.
295
00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:47,306
- It's an original replica.
296
00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:49,108
Because we've had an idea.
- Yeah, right.
297
00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:51,209
So, it's this one man
show with Darth Vader,
298
00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,712
kind of post the Death
Star exploding, him having
299
00:11:53,745 --> 00:11:55,247
to reconnect.
- A story of redemption.
300
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,382
- Find his wife again.
- It's beautiful.
301
00:11:57,415 --> 00:11:58,916
It's beautiful.
302
00:11:58,950 --> 00:12:00,419
There's some really honest
moments with Darth Vader
303
00:12:00,452 --> 00:12:01,987
just confessing about all
the bad shit he's done.
304
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:04,990
- My life is ruined.
- I didn't have a daddy
305
00:12:05,023 --> 00:12:06,625
and that's why I
was mean to you.
306
00:12:06,658 --> 00:12:08,761
- I found a business card
on the Emperor's desk
307
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:11,063
for a psychiatrist,
I should go see him.
308
00:12:11,096 --> 00:12:12,698
- Anyway, basically,
what we need is--
309
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,467
- OK, how much?
- $50.
310
00:12:18,069 --> 00:12:19,704
- Done.
311
00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:21,240
- Cool, hey, cool.
312
00:12:22,174 --> 00:12:23,175
- Thank you.
313
00:12:24,442 --> 00:12:25,377
Thank you.
314
00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:27,112
- This looks lovely.
315
00:12:27,145 --> 00:12:29,081
- That cream's awesome.
316
00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:31,717
Mm.
- Thank you.
317
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,352
I read your review.
318
00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:39,224
You're not getting
any younger, boys.
319
00:12:39,257 --> 00:12:40,358
Neither am I.
320
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,501
(hip hop music)
321
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:54,106
(groaning)
322
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:57,309
- Fuck.
323
00:12:57,342 --> 00:12:59,745
(laughing)
324
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,981
- Hey, hey.
- Sup, dickhead?
325
00:13:03,114 --> 00:13:04,516
- I've been looking for
you boys everywhere.
326
00:13:04,549 --> 00:13:06,552
- Well, why?
- What the fuck is that?
327
00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:07,786
- It's a dog.
- Shar Pei.
328
00:13:07,819 --> 00:13:08,687
- Bear coat.
329
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:09,521
(barking)
330
00:13:09,554 --> 00:13:10,756
- Honey I'm Homeless.
331
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:11,757
- What, did you and
Carl have a fight?
332
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:12,991
- What?
333
00:13:13,024 --> 00:13:14,159
No, I didn't have
a fucking fight.
334
00:13:14,192 --> 00:13:15,294
Just shut up.
335
00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:17,897
Watch it.
336
00:13:19,264 --> 00:13:21,266
- Hi, I'm Gary.
- I'm Mark.
337
00:13:21,299 --> 00:13:23,802
- [Narrator] Are you tired
of being told your love
338
00:13:23,835 --> 00:13:25,871
is inferior?
- I think it's really sad.
339
00:13:25,904 --> 00:13:27,606
- It's the baddest.
340
00:13:27,639 --> 00:13:29,842
- [Narrator] How does it
feel when someone questions
341
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:32,244
your ability to
raise your child?
342
00:13:32,277 --> 00:13:33,111
- Watch it.
343
00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:34,379
- Watching.
344
00:13:34,412 --> 00:13:36,415
- [Narrator] Love
has no boundaries.
345
00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:39,483
How can we be so progressive
as a global society,
346
00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:43,021
but still apply these
ancient, desert prejudices
347
00:13:43,054 --> 00:13:45,924
to our lives?
- We're all the same.
348
00:13:45,957 --> 00:13:48,126
- [Narrator] What will
our children say about us,
349
00:13:48,159 --> 00:13:49,928
when they look back
at us this time?
350
00:13:49,961 --> 00:13:52,231
- I really think we should
do something about it.
351
00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:54,132
- [Narrator] Well you can.
352
00:13:54,165 --> 00:13:55,601
Honey, I'm Homeless.
353
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:58,103
A new stage musical, dealing
with marriage equality
354
00:13:58,136 --> 00:14:00,606
through hilarious and
heartbreaking relationship
355
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:04,176
of two men just
living a true life.
356
00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:07,613
It's time to stand up,
donate your small change
357
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,048
for a big change.
358
00:14:10,415 --> 00:14:11,550
- Don't forget.
359
00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:14,587
- [Narrator] Together,
we will rise.
360
00:14:16,554 --> 00:14:19,124
- OK, so, long story
short, did a bag of coke,
361
00:14:19,157 --> 00:14:21,159
whipped this up last
night, got it online about
362
00:14:21,192 --> 00:14:23,829
nine hours ago, get
it up on Twitter.
363
00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:25,796
You boys went viral.
364
00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:27,699
Ellen DeGeneres retweeted us.
365
00:14:27,732 --> 00:14:28,967
Oh, and there's more.
366
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,769
You boys make 250K.
367
00:14:30,802 --> 00:14:31,937
- K what?
368
00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:33,438
- Dollars.
- $250?
369
00:14:33,471 --> 00:14:36,008
- Thousand.
- I don't get it.
370
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:36,976
- $250,000.
371
00:14:39,177 --> 00:14:42,114
Gays everywhere went hard
and wet simultaneously
372
00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,316
and have given you cash money.
373
00:14:44,349 --> 00:14:45,484
- No.
- Bullshit.
374
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:46,718
- Fact.
375
00:14:46,751 --> 00:14:48,185
- Shay, we've never
written a musical.
376
00:14:48,219 --> 00:14:49,421
- Let alone a gay one.
377
00:14:49,454 --> 00:14:51,989
- Fact, every musical is gay.
378
00:14:52,023 --> 00:14:55,227
Fact, you two wrote Gilded
Lilies, the gayest play ever.
379
00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:57,029
- But Shay, that's
totally fucking different.
380
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,130
- Shut up.
381
00:14:58,163 --> 00:14:59,698
OK, this is amazing.
382
00:14:59,731 --> 00:15:01,066
You two are brilliant.
383
00:15:01,099 --> 00:15:03,235
Do you guys want to walk
dogs and polish He-Man
384
00:15:03,268 --> 00:15:04,403
until you're 70?
385
00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:05,271
OK.
386
00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:09,041
Shh.
387
00:15:11,609 --> 00:15:14,046
This could change your lives.
388
00:15:16,047 --> 00:15:17,215
Fact.
389
00:15:17,248 --> 00:15:18,851
Shit just got real.
390
00:15:22,020 --> 00:15:23,589
- [Both] Fuck yeah.
391
00:15:25,657 --> 00:15:28,327
(hip hop music)
392
00:15:43,441 --> 00:15:45,611
- See ya later.
- Let's go.
393
00:16:02,427 --> 00:16:04,563
- [Narrator] Appears to
have made history when their
394
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:06,465
gay marriage musical,
Honey I'm Homeless,
395
00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:07,866
received over $250,000--
396
00:16:07,899 --> 00:16:09,901
- We've got to do some research.
397
00:16:09,934 --> 00:16:12,204
(gargling)
398
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:15,841
- ET phone home.
399
00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:18,610
- Mine sounds better.
- I think it does.
400
00:16:18,643 --> 00:16:19,979
- ET phone home.
401
00:16:21,346 --> 00:16:22,681
- ET phone home.
402
00:16:24,082 --> 00:16:25,217
- It sounds shit, mine
sounds way better, listen.
403
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:27,185
ET phone home.
404
00:16:27,218 --> 00:16:30,055
- You just said it like a kid
doing a bad ET impression.
405
00:16:30,088 --> 00:16:31,790
(laughing)
406
00:16:31,823 --> 00:16:33,091
It does.
407
00:16:33,124 --> 00:16:33,959
Let's go.
408
00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:41,333
Oh, Philadelphia.
- Nice.
409
00:16:44,869 --> 00:16:47,305
Short Bus?
- Yeah, yeah, sweet.
410
00:16:47,338 --> 00:16:49,741
Oh, yeah, Top Gun.
- No, it's not gay.
411
00:16:49,774 --> 00:16:51,777
- Dude, that volleyball
scene, oiled up bodies,
412
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,744
it's like life partner
with a poodle gay.
413
00:16:53,778 --> 00:16:55,447
- That's more about
the style of the '80s.
414
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,748
- [Gary] I really don't
think so, little buddy.
415
00:16:56,781 --> 00:16:57,983
That's pretty damn gay.
416
00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:58,516
- Fine, I'm getting
Lord of the Rings.
417
00:16:58,550 --> 00:16:59,284
- What?
418
00:16:59,317 --> 00:17:00,519
That's not gay.
419
00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:01,319
- [Mark] Samwise and
Frodo were boning,
420
00:17:01,352 --> 00:17:02,587
all the way to Mordor.
421
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:04,056
- Dude, they were
destroying a ring.
422
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,490
- Metaphor, they were
throwing their homosexual
423
00:17:05,522 --> 00:17:06,757
desires into a hole.
- That's the dumbest thing
424
00:17:06,790 --> 00:17:07,992
I've ever heard, man.
425
00:17:08,026 --> 00:17:09,061
- I read it online.
- Yeah, whatever.
426
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:09,995
- It was a forum.
427
00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:12,931
It's called Lord of the Ring.
428
00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:15,567
(gentle music)
429
00:17:18,703 --> 00:17:21,373
(phone ringing)
430
00:17:23,374 --> 00:17:25,043
- Yo, what's up, man, hey.
- Sup?
431
00:17:25,076 --> 00:17:26,245
How's writing?
432
00:17:30,548 --> 00:17:32,617
- Slow.
- There's no pressure.
433
00:17:32,650 --> 00:17:34,086
You've got heaps of time.
434
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,822
- Yeah, it's just like, it's
not our world, you know?
435
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:40,058
We don't know anything
about it, dude.
436
00:17:40,091 --> 00:17:42,526
- All right, get hot, put
something in your hair,
437
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,331
I'm coming over, we're
gonna find some inspiration.
438
00:17:46,364 --> 00:17:49,034
(hip hop music)
439
00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:21,265
OK, Mark, Stonewall.
440
00:18:21,299 --> 00:18:22,533
Gary, Tool Shed.
441
00:18:22,567 --> 00:18:23,435
Come on out.
442
00:18:23,468 --> 00:18:25,471
- Enjoy your date night.
443
00:18:28,673 --> 00:18:31,743
Meet you back here in an hour?
- Yeah.
444
00:18:34,479 --> 00:18:37,149
(muffled music)
445
00:18:53,698 --> 00:18:54,700
- Ax?
- Yeah.
446
00:18:57,268 --> 00:18:59,271
- I used to watch you play.
- Really?
447
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,306
- I'm your biggest fan.
- Cheers, man.
448
00:19:01,339 --> 00:19:03,707
That was another life.
- Yeah.
449
00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:06,178
Can I grab you a beer?
- Yeah.
450
00:19:07,512 --> 00:19:10,215
(dubstep music)
451
00:19:10,248 --> 00:19:11,850
- Honey I'm Homeless.
- Yeah.
452
00:19:11,883 --> 00:19:14,452
- Oh, that video
made me cry so hard.
453
00:19:14,485 --> 00:19:15,986
I donated a 50.
454
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,756
So, you get your
ass in here, boy.
455
00:19:17,789 --> 00:19:18,956
You give or take?
456
00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,559
You're not on campus
anymore, baby.
457
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:21,459
- I didn't think I was.
458
00:19:21,492 --> 00:19:23,094
No, no, I'm gonna.
459
00:19:23,127 --> 00:19:24,729
- So, what was Cement like?
460
00:19:24,762 --> 00:19:26,831
- Hands down the best car owner.
461
00:19:26,864 --> 00:19:29,468
- What about GT?
- He's a prick.
462
00:19:31,569 --> 00:19:33,238
I saw that video, by the way.
463
00:19:33,271 --> 00:19:36,707
- All right, what did you think?
464
00:19:36,741 --> 00:19:38,610
- I think you're
playing with fire.
465
00:19:38,643 --> 00:19:40,145
- How do you mean?
466
00:19:41,012 --> 00:19:43,315
- Mate, marriage is forever.
467
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,149
You'd be hard pressed
pinning down any of mates
468
00:19:45,183 --> 00:19:49,054
for two minutes, let
alone a lifetime.
469
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:50,855
- OK, really, I've got to go.
470
00:19:50,888 --> 00:19:52,890
- So young.
- I'm 30.
471
00:19:52,924 --> 00:19:55,327
- You wouldn't tell.
- I really should go, mate.
472
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,360
- Come on, babe.
473
00:19:56,394 --> 00:19:58,029
The party hasn't even started.
474
00:19:58,062 --> 00:19:59,798
Have a whiff of this.
475
00:20:01,966 --> 00:20:02,766
Oh, fuck.
476
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,036
- How's your night?
477
00:20:05,069 --> 00:20:07,906
I met Joey Gibbs.
- I met a rapist.
478
00:20:12,410 --> 00:20:13,878
Give us a double
cheese, will you?
479
00:20:13,911 --> 00:20:16,548
- Fuck, man, you did
have a shit night.
480
00:20:16,581 --> 00:20:18,382
- Whatever, man, just make it.
481
00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:20,918
- Moment on the lip,
lifetime on the hips.
482
00:20:20,952 --> 00:20:22,487
- Meh.
- Meh?
483
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,822
- Meh.
484
00:20:23,855 --> 00:20:25,523
Hey, do you know
anyone from New York?
485
00:20:25,556 --> 00:20:27,792
- Billy Grabowski.
- No, he's in Mambo, isn't he?
486
00:20:27,825 --> 00:20:29,127
- Oh, yeah.
487
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,062
Don't know.
488
00:20:32,664 --> 00:20:34,866
- Hello.
- Mark, Gary.
489
00:20:34,899 --> 00:20:36,635
- Yeah, this is Gary,
sorry, who's this?
490
00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,503
- Charlie Overton, I'm
the head of programming
491
00:20:38,536 --> 00:20:39,971
for the New York Festival.
492
00:20:40,004 --> 00:20:42,240
I saw your video
on NBC last night.
493
00:20:42,273 --> 00:20:44,141
- Oh, wow, Charlie,
it's great to meet you.
494
00:20:44,175 --> 00:20:46,144
Hey, Mark.
- What?
495
00:20:46,177 --> 00:20:49,046
- It's got Charlie
Overton on the phone.
496
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,814
He's from the New York Festival.
497
00:20:50,848 --> 00:20:52,584
It's on a video call.
498
00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:55,053
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey.
499
00:20:55,086 --> 00:20:56,321
- Hi, I'm Mark.
500
00:20:56,354 --> 00:20:58,857
Bad reception in here,
so we'll just take it--
501
00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:00,558
- So, I can't hear you,
what are you saying?
502
00:21:00,591 --> 00:21:03,727
Oh, just lost picture
on you there, Charlie.
503
00:21:03,761 --> 00:21:04,763
- [Mark] Sorry about that, mate.
504
00:21:04,796 --> 00:21:06,231
Just fiddling with the modem.
505
00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:10,635
Have you got that, is
that all plugged in there?
506
00:21:10,668 --> 00:21:11,503
- [Both] Hi.
507
00:21:11,536 --> 00:21:12,737
- OK.
508
00:21:12,770 --> 00:21:14,172
So, the whole town's
talking about you.
509
00:21:14,205 --> 00:21:15,674
It's quite the achievement,
that much cash in that
510
00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:17,642
little time.
- Took us by surprise.
511
00:21:17,675 --> 00:21:18,810
- I'll bet.
512
00:21:18,843 --> 00:21:20,145
So, where's it all at?
513
00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:22,247
- Well, we're just workshopping
the script, really.
514
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,281
- Got a cast?
515
00:21:23,314 --> 00:21:25,417
- Yeah, pretty much.
- Who?
516
00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:29,721
- Jack Simpson's probably
gonna play the lead, actually.
517
00:21:29,754 --> 00:21:31,121
- Great actor.
- He is.
518
00:21:31,155 --> 00:21:33,425
We're still casting
the romantic lead.
519
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,260
- Well, if it's half as
good as Gilded Lilies,
520
00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:36,695
you ought to have a
hit on your hands.
521
00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:38,563
- What, did you see it?
- Yeah, Mardi Gras 06.
522
00:21:38,596 --> 00:21:40,632
Broke my heart.
523
00:21:40,665 --> 00:21:42,701
- Wow, that's great.
- So, listen.
524
00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:44,168
My opening night
show's fallen through.
525
00:21:44,202 --> 00:21:45,804
Predator the Musical.
526
00:21:45,837 --> 00:21:46,671
- Cool.
527
00:21:46,704 --> 00:21:47,772
Was Arnie in it?
- No.
528
00:21:47,805 --> 00:21:49,174
- Carl Weathers?
- No.
529
00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:50,642
- [Both] Neville McBebee?
530
00:21:50,675 --> 00:21:52,143
- How the fuck do
you know McBebee?
531
00:21:52,176 --> 00:21:53,912
That guy was like an
extra in that film.
532
00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:55,413
- Yeah, but he's only
like one of the greatest
533
00:21:55,446 --> 00:21:56,947
character actors ever.
- Awesome.
534
00:21:56,981 --> 00:21:58,383
- Agreed, he's underrated.
535
00:21:58,416 --> 00:21:59,851
- Do you know him?
- I met him at his
536
00:21:59,884 --> 00:22:00,685
pizzeria once.
537
00:22:00,718 --> 00:22:01,553
He's a great guy.
538
00:22:01,586 --> 00:22:02,787
Let's cut the crap.
539
00:22:02,820 --> 00:22:04,723
I need a replacement and
from what I've heard,
540
00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:06,925
Honey I'm Homeless
would be a great fit.
541
00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:09,260
- What was that, what
did you say Charlie?
542
00:22:09,293 --> 00:22:11,262
- What I'm saying is,
if you guys want to open
543
00:22:11,295 --> 00:22:13,998
the New York Festival,
we'd have you.
544
00:22:14,031 --> 00:22:17,569
- Oh, yeah, it's just, it's
not quite finished yet.
545
00:22:17,602 --> 00:22:18,703
That's the thing.
- It's OK, I understand
546
00:22:18,736 --> 00:22:21,406
the process, so what do you say?
547
00:22:23,975 --> 00:22:26,977
- I don't know what to say.
- Great, I'll take that
548
00:22:27,011 --> 00:22:27,846
as a yes.
549
00:22:29,580 --> 00:22:30,782
OK, lots to do, guys.
550
00:22:30,815 --> 00:22:32,350
Opening night's in six weeks.
- Six weeks?
551
00:22:32,383 --> 00:22:33,918
Sorry, like from today?
- Yeah.
552
00:22:33,951 --> 00:22:36,788
And by the way,
don't let me down.
553
00:22:39,657 --> 00:22:41,726
- Hey, weren't you guys
meant to be writing?
554
00:22:41,759 --> 00:22:43,228
- Yeah.
- We're warming up.
555
00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:44,262
- Take this.
556
00:22:45,997 --> 00:22:47,232
Director's fee.
557
00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:49,267
What?
558
00:22:50,601 --> 00:22:51,436
What?
559
00:22:52,970 --> 00:22:54,539
- You know Charlie Overton.
- The producer?
560
00:22:54,572 --> 00:22:56,573
- Yeah, he called us last
night and we kind of agreed
561
00:22:56,607 --> 00:22:58,810
that the musical we
haven't written should open
562
00:22:58,843 --> 00:23:00,678
the New York Festival.
- In six weeks.
563
00:23:00,711 --> 00:23:02,180
In New York.
564
00:23:02,213 --> 00:23:03,782
And we kind of implied that
Jack Simpson was attached.
565
00:23:03,815 --> 00:23:05,250
- Which he isn't.
566
00:23:08,853 --> 00:23:10,488
- Buy a TV.
- New Air Jordan's.
567
00:23:10,521 --> 00:23:12,023
- Made by Asian toddlers, man.
568
00:23:12,056 --> 00:23:13,825
- Everything we buy is
made by Asian toddlers.
569
00:23:13,858 --> 00:23:15,527
- They're your kids.
- I'm not having any kids.
570
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,128
- Oh, bullshit, what if
Beck Bernstein asked you
571
00:23:17,161 --> 00:23:18,563
to make babies?
- Don't talk about
572
00:23:18,596 --> 00:23:19,798
her, please.
- What, are you gonna cry?
573
00:23:19,831 --> 00:23:20,965
- Fuck off, you
gave Tiff herpes.
574
00:23:20,998 --> 00:23:22,100
- That's true.
- You gonna tell her
575
00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:23,368
about that?
- Are you gonna tell
576
00:23:23,401 --> 00:23:24,536
Beck Bernstein you love her?
- Fuck off.
577
00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:25,837
- You're meeting Jack at midday.
578
00:23:25,870 --> 00:23:27,604
- What, where?
- In his shed.
579
00:23:27,638 --> 00:23:30,108
Now, I'm gonna book a rehearsal
venue, you start tomorrow.
580
00:23:30,141 --> 00:23:31,176
- But we don't have
a script, Shay.
581
00:23:31,209 --> 00:23:32,410
- Figure it out.
582
00:23:32,443 --> 00:23:33,645
- What the fuck are we
meant to say to him?
583
00:23:33,678 --> 00:23:34,546
- I don't know, you're
creatives, be creative.
584
00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:36,347
Get Jack Simpson.
585
00:23:36,380 --> 00:23:37,882
And in the name of
(foreign language spoken),
586
00:23:37,915 --> 00:23:40,085
put some fucking pants on.
587
00:23:41,352 --> 00:23:42,187
- Far out.
588
00:23:43,921 --> 00:23:46,525
(guitar music)
589
00:23:47,558 --> 00:23:49,661
(throat clearing)
590
00:23:49,694 --> 00:23:52,330
- Good day fellas.
- Hey, good day.
591
00:23:52,363 --> 00:23:53,298
Cool shed.
592
00:23:53,331 --> 00:23:54,899
What are you doing?
593
00:23:54,932 --> 00:23:56,768
- Just rebuilding a carbie.
594
00:23:56,801 --> 00:23:58,602
Bike.
- Sweet.
595
00:23:58,636 --> 00:24:00,205
- You guys ride?
596
00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:01,706
- No.
- I have.
597
00:24:01,739 --> 00:24:03,074
- When?
- The 10.
598
00:24:04,175 --> 00:24:06,711
- Hey, take a seat.
- Thanks, man.
599
00:24:14,719 --> 00:24:17,522
- So, why me?
- For the play?
600
00:24:17,555 --> 00:24:18,756
Musical.
601
00:24:18,789 --> 00:24:21,658
- Well, you know,
you're Jack Simpson.
602
00:24:21,692 --> 00:24:22,527
- I am.
603
00:24:23,661 --> 00:24:26,231
- So, have you seen our video?
- Yep.
604
00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:28,265
- Is it something
that interests you?
605
00:24:28,299 --> 00:24:29,301
- Yep.
- Why?
606
00:24:31,102 --> 00:24:33,271
- Spent my life being this.
- What, like an awesome,
607
00:24:33,304 --> 00:24:35,707
buff action dude.
- Yeah, who's got like
608
00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:39,911
the coolest shed in the world
and fixes carbies and stuff.
609
00:24:41,279 --> 00:24:43,615
So, like, what does marriage
equality mean to you?
610
00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:46,551
- Oh, love is a beautiful
thing, full stop, I guess.
611
00:24:46,584 --> 00:24:49,020
- Do you have a babe?
612
00:24:49,053 --> 00:24:50,588
- More importantly, what
does marriage equality
613
00:24:50,621 --> 00:24:52,057
mean to you guys?
614
00:24:54,358 --> 00:24:56,661
- My grandma, she
was from Egypt.
615
00:24:56,694 --> 00:24:59,163
She came here on a boat,
took her three months.
616
00:24:59,196 --> 00:25:00,365
- Yep.
- You know what
617
00:25:00,398 --> 00:25:01,765
her welcome was?
618
00:25:01,799 --> 00:25:03,868
Local milk baron
spat in her face.
619
00:25:03,901 --> 00:25:06,170
- Yep.
- She didn't spit back.
620
00:25:06,203 --> 00:25:07,504
She hugged the prick.
621
00:25:07,538 --> 00:25:09,474
- She says I'm
not gonna let him.
622
00:25:09,507 --> 00:25:11,342
- She always said, "Be who
you are, say what you feel,
623
00:25:11,375 --> 00:25:13,711
"because those who
mind don't matter,
624
00:25:13,744 --> 00:25:16,047
"and those who
matter don't mind."
625
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:19,484
- I think you'll find
that was Dr. Seuss.
626
00:25:22,253 --> 00:25:24,621
- Anyway, there's a
lot of people out there
627
00:25:24,655 --> 00:25:27,492
that don't matter, right,
but they've still got a say.
628
00:25:27,525 --> 00:25:28,726
They're our brothers.
- And sisters.
629
00:25:28,759 --> 00:25:30,695
Our fathers.
- Politicians, our policemen.
630
00:25:30,728 --> 00:25:33,298
- Our waiters, our teachers.
- Our milkshake makers.
631
00:25:33,331 --> 00:25:36,266
Our horse riders.
- All those people.
632
00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:38,101
We want to change 'em.
- Yeah, we want to crack
633
00:25:38,135 --> 00:25:40,104
their skulls with a show tune.
634
00:25:40,137 --> 00:25:42,407
- Dazzling, dancing,
all different style.
635
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,409
- A really professional wig.
- A love story that would
636
00:25:44,442 --> 00:25:47,612
melt the ice queen of Greenland.
637
00:25:47,645 --> 00:25:49,681
- No, Iceland, wouldn't it?
- Greenland's colder.
638
00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:50,514
- No, is it?
639
00:25:50,548 --> 00:25:51,716
I don't think it is.
640
00:25:51,749 --> 00:25:52,884
- Well, actually, I saw
Wrecking Man in both
641
00:25:52,917 --> 00:25:54,418
countries and
Greenland is colder.
642
00:25:54,452 --> 00:25:56,321
- Fuck, I love Wrecking Man,
it's like our favorite film.
643
00:25:56,354 --> 00:25:57,722
- So cool.
- You know that scene?
644
00:25:57,755 --> 00:26:00,625
Give me back my daughter
or I will wreck you.
645
00:26:00,658 --> 00:26:04,663
- How can you wreck me
if you can't even see me?
646
00:26:05,963 --> 00:26:07,132
- [Both] Acid.
647
00:26:08,165 --> 00:26:09,834
(screaming)
648
00:26:09,867 --> 00:26:11,970
- I can't--
- Karate chop.
649
00:26:14,372 --> 00:26:16,307
Have fun in hell, Wrecking Man.
650
00:26:16,340 --> 00:26:20,477
- I'll get you, evil nemesis.
- Finished?
651
00:26:20,511 --> 00:26:21,913
- Yeah.
652
00:26:21,946 --> 00:26:23,715
- But seriously, like,
straight up, Jack.
653
00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:25,183
You're amazing.
654
00:26:25,216 --> 00:26:26,450
- The show is made for you.
655
00:26:26,484 --> 00:26:28,086
- Plus, we already told
New York you'd be in it.
656
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:29,954
- You what?
- It was an accident.
657
00:26:29,987 --> 00:26:30,822
Sort of.
658
00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:37,361
- So, when do we start?
- Nine AM tomorrow.
659
00:26:39,697 --> 00:26:41,032
- I'm in, dudes.
660
00:26:44,435 --> 00:26:46,169
- So, what, do you want
to start with some games?
661
00:26:46,203 --> 00:26:47,905
- No, we can't play
games with Jack Simpson.
662
00:26:47,938 --> 00:26:50,174
We've got to talk concept,
character, motor bikes.
663
00:26:50,207 --> 00:26:51,376
- OK, so what?
664
00:26:52,576 --> 00:26:54,345
It's a couple, they
want to get married.
665
00:26:54,378 --> 00:26:56,313
They can't, they've got
an adopted Chinese kid
666
00:26:56,347 --> 00:26:58,917
called, I don't know, Zen Jwan.
667
00:27:00,184 --> 00:27:01,485
What are their names?
668
00:27:01,519 --> 00:27:05,023
- Jack can be Oscar, the
other guy can be Harvey.
669
00:27:05,056 --> 00:27:06,557
- Hey, Shay, who's
playing Harvey?
670
00:27:06,590 --> 00:27:07,992
- Kip Young.
671
00:27:08,025 --> 00:27:10,528
He just wrapped on
a huge vampire film.
672
00:27:10,561 --> 00:27:12,629
He is about to pop.
- Can he sing?
673
00:27:12,663 --> 00:27:14,032
- Who cares, hot.
674
00:27:14,065 --> 00:27:15,433
- But he's in his mid 20's.
675
00:27:15,466 --> 00:27:16,668
They're supposed to be a couple.
676
00:27:16,701 --> 00:27:18,536
- I'm not a fucking
casting director.
677
00:27:18,569 --> 00:27:19,671
Alan, dancer.
678
00:27:21,105 --> 00:27:22,840
- Not every show you do
is important, but this one
679
00:27:22,873 --> 00:27:24,175
really is.
- Yeah, it's an issue
680
00:27:24,208 --> 00:27:25,877
that's really close to a
lot of people's hearts,
681
00:27:25,910 --> 00:27:27,845
so we got to treat it with
the respect it deserves.
682
00:27:27,878 --> 00:27:29,580
- But we'll also have a little
bit of fun along the way.
683
00:27:29,613 --> 00:27:31,015
- Yeah, oh yeah.
684
00:27:31,048 --> 00:27:33,718
So, just a little
insight into our process,
685
00:27:33,751 --> 00:27:34,753
how we work.
686
00:27:41,559 --> 00:27:43,895
- This is not a dictatorship.
- Yeah, because when you see
687
00:27:43,928 --> 00:27:48,032
Alec Baldwin, you see the
true ugliness of human nature.
688
00:27:48,065 --> 00:27:49,600
(laughing)
689
00:27:49,633 --> 00:27:51,803
- Team America.
- Yeah.
690
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:53,337
Now, look, all ideas are valid.
691
00:27:53,370 --> 00:27:56,040
OK, we want this to be something
we can all be proud of.
692
00:27:56,073 --> 00:27:58,142
- Got you.
- So, let's start
693
00:27:58,175 --> 00:28:00,011
with a few exercises.
- Exercises?
694
00:28:00,044 --> 00:28:01,479
- Yeah, exercises.
695
00:28:01,512 --> 00:28:03,848
So, let's start with a real
simple one, it's called
696
00:28:03,881 --> 00:28:06,451
"One thing you do and
don't know about me."
697
00:28:06,484 --> 00:28:07,952
Mark will start.
698
00:28:07,985 --> 00:28:09,687
You just gotta be open and
honest, that's the key.
699
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,557
- So, one thing you do know
about me is I'm a director.
700
00:28:12,590 --> 00:28:14,125
- I thought Greg
was the director.
701
00:28:14,158 --> 00:28:16,394
- It's Gary, and
we're both directing.
702
00:28:16,427 --> 00:28:17,562
- That's weird.
703
00:28:17,595 --> 00:28:20,131
- One thing you don't
know about me is
704
00:28:20,164 --> 00:28:21,833
I never knew my family.
705
00:28:21,866 --> 00:28:23,735
My grandma raised me.
706
00:28:23,768 --> 00:28:25,370
- OK, I'll jump in.
707
00:28:26,504 --> 00:28:28,639
Good day, my name is Jack.
708
00:28:28,672 --> 00:28:30,641
Guess you all know that.
709
00:28:30,674 --> 00:28:32,844
One thing you do know about
me is that I built my own
710
00:28:32,877 --> 00:28:34,044
pop up bungle.
711
00:28:35,246 --> 00:28:39,117
And OK, something you
don't know about me.
712
00:28:39,150 --> 00:28:42,487
Well, I recently lost
my best mate to cancer.
713
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:43,354
Fuck.
714
00:28:45,990 --> 00:28:49,560
I just really miss
his little meow.
715
00:28:49,593 --> 00:28:51,763
- That's really sad, Jack.
716
00:28:53,898 --> 00:28:56,399
I don't know what I'd do
without my little pug.
717
00:28:56,433 --> 00:28:57,268
Dennis.
718
00:28:58,669 --> 00:29:02,206
One thing you do know about
me is I'm a movie star.
719
00:29:02,239 --> 00:29:04,108
- Sorry.
- Of a vampire flick
720
00:29:04,141 --> 00:29:06,144
coming out May 10, Suck.
721
00:29:07,878 --> 00:29:09,045
Chat about it being the biggest
722
00:29:09,079 --> 00:29:10,581
opening weekend of they year.
723
00:29:10,614 --> 00:29:11,783
- I've got tickets.
724
00:29:11,816 --> 00:29:13,751
- One thing you
don't know about me,
725
00:29:13,784 --> 00:29:15,920
I don't have a dad, either.
726
00:29:15,953 --> 00:29:19,124
He shot himself in
the face, I was 10.
727
00:29:21,458 --> 00:29:23,461
I found him in the bath.
728
00:29:24,728 --> 00:29:25,964
- OK, new game.
729
00:29:27,231 --> 00:29:30,168
(upbeat pop music)
730
00:30:09,173 --> 00:30:10,975
♪ There was a guy
731
00:30:11,008 --> 00:30:14,745
♪ Y'all know him as Harvey
732
00:30:14,778 --> 00:30:17,048
♪ He had a dream
733
00:30:17,081 --> 00:30:19,984
♪ Back in the '70s
734
00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:25,056
♪ Those that were closed
would open up their hearts
735
00:30:26,257 --> 00:30:30,361
♪ And pour themselves a
long, cool, dirty glass
736
00:30:30,394 --> 00:30:34,065
♪ Of Harvey's mother's milk
737
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:40,004
♪ Harvey's mother's milk
738
00:30:41,872 --> 00:30:44,508
- OK, yep, go on, Basil.
739
00:30:44,541 --> 00:30:48,044
♪ There's always
people who put you
740
00:30:48,078 --> 00:30:50,781
♪ Through the ringer
741
00:30:50,814 --> 00:30:54,986
♪ Fact is some folks just
can't take their dairy
742
00:30:56,253 --> 00:30:58,856
♪ They're absolutely
743
00:30:58,889 --> 00:31:00,690
♪ Terrified
744
00:31:00,724 --> 00:31:04,395
♪ Of Harvey's mother's milk
745
00:31:06,697 --> 00:31:10,101
♪ Harvey's mother's milk
746
00:31:11,835 --> 00:31:13,204
♪ I said
747
00:31:13,237 --> 00:31:14,472
♪ Harvey
748
00:31:14,505 --> 00:31:17,475
♪ Harvey's
749
00:31:17,508 --> 00:31:19,744
♪ Harvey's
750
00:31:21,312 --> 00:31:23,581
(applause)
751
00:31:24,715 --> 00:31:28,052
- OK, so, why is a
straight bloke, yeah?
752
00:31:29,987 --> 00:31:33,024
Gonna want to see a
play, a show, that's all
753
00:31:33,057 --> 00:31:35,326
about gay love?
- Love, it's all the same.
754
00:31:35,359 --> 00:31:37,828
- I mean, this is a story
that transcends sexuality.
755
00:31:37,861 --> 00:31:39,230
Full stop.
- That's easy for you
756
00:31:39,263 --> 00:31:42,934
to say, you are gays.
- Actually, we're not.
757
00:31:42,967 --> 00:31:45,703
- Then why are you
doing a play about them?
758
00:31:45,736 --> 00:31:47,438
- That's exactly
why we're doing it.
759
00:31:47,471 --> 00:31:48,706
Break down some of the barriers.
760
00:31:48,739 --> 00:31:50,041
- Look, marriage
inequality sucks.
761
00:31:50,074 --> 00:31:52,143
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
762
00:31:53,377 --> 00:31:54,645
Out of tape.
763
00:31:54,678 --> 00:31:56,013
You guys got a spare?
- No, I threw mine out
764
00:31:56,046 --> 00:31:57,248
in 1995.
765
00:31:57,281 --> 00:31:58,549
- Suit yourself.
766
00:31:58,582 --> 00:31:59,917
I was getting some
good stuff there.
767
00:31:59,950 --> 00:32:01,352
Let's do the photo, yeah?
768
00:32:01,385 --> 00:32:02,220
- Sure.
769
00:32:03,754 --> 00:32:06,122
- Jack Simpson,
I will wreck you.
770
00:32:06,156 --> 00:32:08,559
I wouldn't have bothered with
you if I knew you were here.
771
00:32:08,592 --> 00:32:09,894
- Good day, mate, how you doing?
772
00:32:09,927 --> 00:32:11,262
- Glen.
773
00:32:11,295 --> 00:32:13,197
- So we have a
photo or something?
774
00:32:13,230 --> 00:32:14,332
- Yeah.
775
00:32:14,365 --> 00:32:15,232
OK.
776
00:32:15,265 --> 00:32:16,467
Say cheese.
777
00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:17,835
Oh, Jack, I might
just get you to.
778
00:32:17,868 --> 00:32:19,537
Move in, cover Alan.
779
00:32:21,638 --> 00:32:24,675
(photo snapping)
780
00:32:24,708 --> 00:32:26,243
Great, got it.
- So, we done?
781
00:32:26,276 --> 00:32:27,478
My ride's here, yeah?
782
00:32:27,511 --> 00:32:28,612
Good to meet ya.
- See ya tomorrow.
783
00:32:28,645 --> 00:32:29,914
- Thanks, Jack.
784
00:32:32,216 --> 00:32:33,051
- Alan.
785
00:32:35,786 --> 00:32:36,921
- Right.
- Thanks, Greg.
786
00:32:36,954 --> 00:32:38,422
- Thanks.
- Glen.
787
00:32:38,455 --> 00:32:42,426
- Hi, Dad, it's me, Kip, I had
the best day at school, Dad.
788
00:32:42,459 --> 00:32:44,729
Oh, my gosh, I met a boy.
789
00:32:44,762 --> 00:32:46,864
I think I love him.
- Drop the voice, dude.
790
00:32:46,897 --> 00:32:48,331
- No, it's good.
791
00:32:48,365 --> 00:32:50,601
I think I want to
marry him, Dad.
792
00:32:50,634 --> 00:32:53,537
Dad, where are you?
- You can't marry a man, Kip.
793
00:32:53,570 --> 00:32:55,206
- Don't be like that, Dad.
794
00:32:55,239 --> 00:32:58,343
Dad, where are you?
- I'm in the bath.
795
00:32:59,443 --> 00:33:01,479
- Nah, that's a bit dark.
796
00:33:01,512 --> 00:33:03,781
- That's his story, though.
797
00:33:05,282 --> 00:33:09,320
♪ If only we could tie the
knot with Dad's permission
798
00:33:15,159 --> 00:33:17,428
♪ It's awful
799
00:33:17,461 --> 00:33:19,263
♪ To be told
800
00:33:19,296 --> 00:33:23,234
♪ What you can and cannot hold
801
00:33:24,234 --> 00:33:26,904
♪ I love you so
802
00:33:29,673 --> 00:33:32,910
- OK, so when
you're ready, guys.
803
00:33:32,943 --> 00:33:35,980
- You sure you're OK
with these lyrics, Kip?
804
00:33:36,013 --> 00:33:37,682
- Yeah, that's fine.
805
00:33:38,816 --> 00:33:40,551
Dad would be proud.
806
00:33:40,584 --> 00:33:42,853
I'm honored, bros.
807
00:33:42,886 --> 00:33:44,155
- So, just remember, it's
all about the love between
808
00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:44,989
these two.
809
00:33:45,022 --> 00:33:46,157
OK?
810
00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:47,992
- Just from the top?
- Yeah, great.
811
00:33:48,025 --> 00:33:49,427
- Is he gonna be here?
- Yeah.
812
00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:51,829
- Serious?
- Yeah, move in
813
00:33:51,862 --> 00:33:53,031
and, you know.
814
00:33:54,565 --> 00:33:58,469
♪ If only we could tie the
knot with Dad's permission
815
00:34:01,772 --> 00:34:05,943
♪ Now I know what Rosa
Parks must have felt like
816
00:34:07,711 --> 00:34:10,880
♪ It's awful to be told
817
00:34:10,914 --> 00:34:14,085
♪ What we can and cannot hold
818
00:34:14,118 --> 00:34:17,554
♪ I love you so
819
00:34:17,588 --> 00:34:19,857
♪ So much boy
820
00:34:19,889 --> 00:34:22,060
♪ So much
821
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,929
♪ Boy
822
00:34:24,962 --> 00:34:27,364
♪ Boy
823
00:34:27,397 --> 00:34:28,966
♪ Boy, boy
824
00:34:28,998 --> 00:34:29,866
♪ Much
825
00:34:29,900 --> 00:34:30,768
♪ Boy
826
00:34:30,801 --> 00:34:31,936
- Basil.
827
00:34:31,969 --> 00:34:33,671
- Yeah, I was
really vibing that.
828
00:34:33,704 --> 00:34:36,307
(upbeat music)
829
00:35:01,865 --> 00:35:05,236
(phone beeping)
830
00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:06,703
- Oh, fuck.
- What?
831
00:35:06,737 --> 00:35:08,572
- Kip's agent's organized
him a singing lesson.
832
00:35:08,605 --> 00:35:11,742
He's not coming in.
- Well, it's the beginning.
833
00:35:11,775 --> 00:35:13,911
- Of a long, pointless journey.
834
00:35:13,944 --> 00:35:15,045
- Well, we've got to rehearse.
835
00:35:15,078 --> 00:35:16,647
What do we do?
836
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,149
How the hell are we going
to pay our mortgage?
837
00:35:18,182 --> 00:35:19,549
- I didn't ask for
redundancy, Oscar.
838
00:35:19,583 --> 00:35:21,185
- How are we gonna
feed Zen Jwan?
839
00:35:21,218 --> 00:35:23,319
- I got a veggie garden.
- Jesus, Harvey.
840
00:35:23,353 --> 00:35:24,855
I could have got a job.
841
00:35:24,888 --> 00:35:26,790
I could have been
studying part time.
842
00:35:26,823 --> 00:35:28,893
I could have been selling
chicken at the organic
843
00:35:28,926 --> 00:35:30,561
farmer's market.
- Who are you?
844
00:35:30,594 --> 00:35:31,495
Mildred Pearce?
845
00:35:31,528 --> 00:35:33,397
- This is not what husbands do.
846
00:35:33,430 --> 00:35:35,198
- We're not husbands.
847
00:35:45,509 --> 00:35:46,344
- Oh.
848
00:35:47,344 --> 00:35:48,913
Oh.
849
00:35:48,946 --> 00:35:51,115
(moaning)
850
00:36:11,435 --> 00:36:15,273
Baby, get in my oven and
season it with spunk.
851
00:36:17,975 --> 00:36:20,778
- This is fucking
bullshit, mate.
852
00:36:20,811 --> 00:36:23,781
- They're just, they're a
highly sexualized couple, Jack.
853
00:36:23,814 --> 00:36:26,283
- This is like a 12 year old's
view of like gay intimacy.
854
00:36:26,316 --> 00:36:27,685
These two blokes are having
a blow, and what, they
855
00:36:27,718 --> 00:36:30,754
start fucking finger
fucking each other?
856
00:36:30,787 --> 00:36:32,223
Have I missed the point?
857
00:36:32,256 --> 00:36:35,058
- No, it's like, in
long term relationships,
858
00:36:35,092 --> 00:36:37,861
you can say outrageous
things, you can say anything.
859
00:36:37,894 --> 00:36:39,296
- Oh, really, say
outrageous things like,
860
00:36:39,329 --> 00:36:41,398
"Park your submarine
in my dry dock and
861
00:36:41,431 --> 00:36:42,633
"release the seamen?"
862
00:36:42,666 --> 00:36:44,401
- That one is meant to be funny.
863
00:36:44,434 --> 00:36:45,869
- It's not funny.
864
00:36:45,902 --> 00:36:46,737
Fix it.
865
00:36:48,739 --> 00:36:50,207
- [Both] Totally.
866
00:36:50,240 --> 00:36:51,075
- Fuck me.
867
00:36:54,344 --> 00:36:56,380
- Get in my oven.
868
00:36:56,413 --> 00:36:57,982
Was trying to fix it.
869
00:36:58,015 --> 00:37:01,151
This is not what husbands
do, we're not husbands.
870
00:37:01,184 --> 00:37:02,953
I think the beget stuff
might be a bit much.
871
00:37:02,986 --> 00:37:03,854
- No, it's funny.
872
00:37:03,887 --> 00:37:05,356
- To a prepubescent.
873
00:37:05,389 --> 00:37:07,291
Could we have a flat white
and a cappuccino please?
874
00:37:07,324 --> 00:37:08,525
- Comrades.
875
00:37:08,558 --> 00:37:12,396
Shay tells me you guys
are kicking major goals.
876
00:37:16,199 --> 00:37:17,368
That's cool.
877
00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:18,969
- Yeah, no, it's
going really great.
878
00:37:19,002 --> 00:37:20,004
How are you, mate?
879
00:37:20,037 --> 00:37:22,205
- A little CD with the ST.
880
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:24,942
- Sorry?
- Huh?
881
00:37:24,975 --> 00:37:26,110
- What?
- What?
882
00:37:26,143 --> 00:37:28,012
- What did you say?
- Sorry, man.
883
00:37:28,045 --> 00:37:30,581
Little current development
with the state theater.
884
00:37:30,614 --> 00:37:32,316
- All right, cool.
- No, man.
885
00:37:32,349 --> 00:37:33,550
Too many hoops.
886
00:37:33,583 --> 00:37:34,518
I've got bad knees,
you know what I mean?
887
00:37:34,551 --> 00:37:35,753
I'm stuck.
888
00:37:35,786 --> 00:37:37,221
- Yeah, well, you know,
you just got to juice
889
00:37:37,254 --> 00:37:38,689
when the fruit's
ready for juicing.
890
00:37:38,722 --> 00:37:39,923
- I love that.
891
00:37:39,956 --> 00:37:41,191
No one wants to
eat a hard banana.
892
00:37:41,224 --> 00:37:42,993
- Well, some do.
893
00:37:43,026 --> 00:37:45,095
- Coffee's up.
- Cheers.
894
00:37:45,128 --> 00:37:46,563
- Guys, I envy you.
895
00:37:46,596 --> 00:37:48,532
You march on the beat
of your own drum.
896
00:37:48,565 --> 00:37:50,835
(drumming)
897
00:37:57,007 --> 00:37:58,142
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
898
00:37:58,175 --> 00:37:59,343
- See you later.
- No, man, seriously.
899
00:37:59,376 --> 00:38:01,078
You guys, you don't get it yet.
900
00:38:01,111 --> 00:38:02,645
You don't.
901
00:38:02,679 --> 00:38:04,615
The envy, it's green.
902
00:38:04,648 --> 00:38:07,017
It's like the Emerald City.
903
00:38:07,050 --> 00:38:09,386
Minus the flying
monkeys, obviously.
904
00:38:09,419 --> 00:38:13,022
Gilded Lilies reached
into my heart.
905
00:38:13,056 --> 00:38:16,293
You broke it, you mended
it, in 92 minutes.
906
00:38:16,326 --> 00:38:18,929
Of delicious storytelling.
907
00:38:18,962 --> 00:38:21,498
If it wasn't for you guys,
908
00:38:21,531 --> 00:38:25,369
I'd still be pushing
pencils in a legal firm.
909
00:38:25,402 --> 00:38:26,837
You believe that?
910
00:38:28,438 --> 00:38:29,674
You believe it?
911
00:38:30,607 --> 00:38:33,009
- I can, I mean, yeah, I can.
912
00:38:38,315 --> 00:38:40,417
(foreign language spoken)
913
00:38:40,450 --> 00:38:41,452
Thanks, man.
914
00:38:45,055 --> 00:38:45,890
- Ah, man.
915
00:38:46,723 --> 00:38:47,925
- Weird, right?
916
00:38:47,958 --> 00:38:49,660
- The guy we thought was
basically the biggest
917
00:38:49,693 --> 00:38:51,395
cheese dick in the
entire universe just
918
00:38:51,428 --> 00:38:53,596
professed his love for us.
- Weird.
919
00:38:53,630 --> 00:38:55,499
- What's all that about?
- It's kind of cool,
920
00:38:55,532 --> 00:38:56,734
when you think about it, though.
921
00:38:56,767 --> 00:38:58,234
- Mm.
922
00:38:58,268 --> 00:38:59,636
He pushes the boundaries.
- He's got a sweet hat.
923
00:38:59,669 --> 00:39:01,004
- Speaks Arabic.
924
00:39:01,037 --> 00:39:02,939
- Maybe we are on
the right track.
925
00:39:02,973 --> 00:39:05,976
- Gentlemen, we're
on in three, two.
926
00:39:08,111 --> 00:39:10,814
Welcome back to KSL853.
927
00:39:10,847 --> 00:39:13,117
You are with the Kim
Divine Show, listening to
928
00:39:13,150 --> 00:39:17,721
Kim Divine talking to Mark
Zeegrab and Gary Eastwood,
929
00:39:17,754 --> 00:39:19,823
creators of the new
musical set to open at the
930
00:39:19,856 --> 00:39:22,326
New York Festival next month.
931
00:39:22,359 --> 00:39:23,627
Honey I'm Homeless.
932
00:39:23,660 --> 00:39:25,362
Gentlemen, welcome and
I'm quoting from your
933
00:39:25,395 --> 00:39:28,699
press release here, a
politically charged,
934
00:39:28,732 --> 00:39:31,335
entertaining romp that
charts the struggles
935
00:39:31,368 --> 00:39:35,806
of a homosexual couple
desperate to be married.
936
00:39:35,839 --> 00:39:37,808
Entertaining romp.
- Yeah, it's full of
937
00:39:37,841 --> 00:39:40,043
great songs and dance numbers.
938
00:39:40,076 --> 00:39:41,812
- To raise your money,
you're using what's becoming
939
00:39:41,845 --> 00:39:44,180
quite a popular
tool, crowd funding.
940
00:39:44,214 --> 00:39:45,382
Why that route?
941
00:39:45,415 --> 00:39:46,917
- Well, it empowers
the individual.
942
00:39:46,950 --> 00:39:48,551
These people are--
- These people Mark is
943
00:39:48,585 --> 00:39:51,588
referring to, they're the
gays, they're the lesbians
944
00:39:51,621 --> 00:39:54,458
that are wishing to
redefine one of society's
945
00:39:54,491 --> 00:39:56,727
strongest traditions.
- I don't think we can
946
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,195
say that marriage
is traditional.
947
00:39:58,228 --> 00:39:59,630
It's been evolving forever.
948
00:39:59,663 --> 00:40:02,132
- If it hadn't interracial
couples wouldn't be
949
00:40:02,165 --> 00:40:03,567
allowed to wed.
950
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,102
You know, you'd have
parents selling their kids
951
00:40:05,135 --> 00:40:06,670
to the highest bidders and
princes would be marrying
952
00:40:06,703 --> 00:40:08,205
six year olds, so I think it's--
953
00:40:08,238 --> 00:40:11,707
- Oh, hear the chimes of
the default leftist stance.
954
00:40:11,741 --> 00:40:14,812
Why wouldn't you get your
money from a real source?
955
00:40:14,845 --> 00:40:16,346
I don't know, a producer.
956
00:40:16,379 --> 00:40:18,949
- Well, look, with that
comes a lot of red tape
957
00:40:18,982 --> 00:40:20,350
and restrictions--
- So, ultimately,
958
00:40:20,383 --> 00:40:23,620
no legitimate organization
would touch it.
959
00:40:23,653 --> 00:40:25,923
With minority issues like
this, isn't it better
960
00:40:25,956 --> 00:40:28,792
for our politicians in
parliament to be debating this,
961
00:40:28,825 --> 00:40:32,997
rather than literally making
a song and dance about it?
962
00:40:34,164 --> 00:40:36,033
- Well, firstly, it's
hardly a minority issue.
963
00:40:36,066 --> 00:40:38,202
- Many of my listeners
would beg to differ.
964
00:40:38,235 --> 00:40:40,871
- I bet they would.
- No one has the right
965
00:40:40,904 --> 00:40:42,206
to redefine marriage.
- Tell that
966
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:43,774
to Henry the Eighth.
- Gary.
967
00:40:43,807 --> 00:40:45,241
Are you gay?
- No.
968
00:40:46,443 --> 00:40:48,412
- Mark, you?
- No.
969
00:40:48,445 --> 00:40:49,847
- So, I've got to ask.
970
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:53,951
What makes you the flag
bearers for the tyrannized gays
971
00:40:53,984 --> 00:40:55,285
of the world?
- We've got a lot
972
00:40:55,318 --> 00:40:56,753
of gay friends.
973
00:40:56,786 --> 00:40:59,957
I played a gay man in a show.
- You played a gay man.
974
00:40:59,990 --> 00:41:04,194
Gary, I see here on your
CV that you played an
975
00:41:04,227 --> 00:41:06,964
ambulance officer on a soap.
976
00:41:06,997 --> 00:41:08,565
Tell me.
977
00:41:08,598 --> 00:41:12,569
If I was in a car
crash tomorrow, could
you save my life?
978
00:41:12,602 --> 00:41:14,136
- I have done my first
aid certificate, so--
979
00:41:14,170 --> 00:41:16,240
- I think the point is,
you're not a registered ambo.
980
00:41:16,273 --> 00:41:18,242
You were playing a part, yes?
981
00:41:18,275 --> 00:41:20,043
It was a fantasy.
982
00:41:20,076 --> 00:41:21,512
I ask you again.
983
00:41:21,545 --> 00:41:24,281
What makes you
two the authority?
984
00:41:26,983 --> 00:41:28,952
See, here's the thing, boys.
985
00:41:28,985 --> 00:41:32,956
I grew up with the Sound
of Music, the Wizard of Oz.
986
00:41:32,989 --> 00:41:33,991
That's entertainment.
987
00:41:34,024 --> 00:41:35,392
Honey, I'm Homeless.
988
00:41:35,425 --> 00:41:37,761
I'm sorry, but this
sounds like two lefties
989
00:41:37,794 --> 00:41:41,163
cashing in on a hot
political issue.
990
00:41:41,197 --> 00:41:42,432
You want to know what I think?
991
00:41:42,465 --> 00:41:45,302
Let them commit, let
them even live together.
992
00:41:45,335 --> 00:41:46,904
But marriage is sacred.
993
00:41:46,937 --> 00:41:50,274
Man and woman, full stop,
no argument from me.
994
00:41:50,307 --> 00:41:52,709
After the break, it's
traffic with Vince Larocki.
995
00:41:52,742 --> 00:41:53,577
We're out.
996
00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:02,319
- That guy was a fucking cock.
- It's bullshit.
997
00:42:02,352 --> 00:42:03,420
He's a philistine.
998
00:42:03,453 --> 00:42:04,588
- Well, you guys
handled it well.
999
00:42:04,621 --> 00:42:05,956
You're never gonna
change people like that.
1000
00:42:05,989 --> 00:42:07,224
- Isn't that the whole point?
- I suffer all kinds
1001
00:42:07,257 --> 00:42:08,725
of shit because I'm black.
- And gay.
1002
00:42:08,758 --> 00:42:10,327
- Yeah.
1003
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:11,795
But I don't care.
1004
00:42:11,828 --> 00:42:13,030
It's the people on the
fence who need to change.
1005
00:42:13,063 --> 00:42:14,464
That's who you need to get.
1006
00:42:14,497 --> 00:42:17,301
Eventually, openness
will outnumber prejudice.
1007
00:42:17,334 --> 00:42:18,935
That's why you do the show.
1008
00:42:18,969 --> 00:42:20,037
- Oh, Buddha.
1009
00:42:21,538 --> 00:42:23,907
PS, media launch next week.
1010
00:42:23,940 --> 00:42:25,842
- Hopefully we can teach
Kip to sing by then.
1011
00:42:25,875 --> 00:42:27,811
- Yeah, thanks for that
amazing piece of casting, Shay.
1012
00:42:27,844 --> 00:42:29,580
- Why don't you get
him to speak it?
1013
00:42:29,613 --> 00:42:30,948
Works for Leonard Cohen.
1014
00:42:30,981 --> 00:42:32,516
- Kip Cohen, yeah, cool.
1015
00:42:32,549 --> 00:42:33,951
- How's the show?
1016
00:42:35,385 --> 00:42:36,753
Is it ready?
- There's a couple of song
1017
00:42:36,786 --> 00:42:40,057
writing issues, but
we'll be all right.
1018
00:42:42,759 --> 00:42:44,561
So, it's legal in
New Zealand and--
1019
00:42:44,594 --> 00:42:46,063
- Mexico, Brazil.
1020
00:42:46,096 --> 00:42:49,967
- Portugal, Iceland, Spain.
- South Africa.
1021
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,435
A bunch of US states.
1022
00:42:51,468 --> 00:42:53,270
♪ Oh Brazil and Belgium
1023
00:42:53,303 --> 00:42:55,505
♪ Canada and Argentina
1024
00:42:55,538 --> 00:42:58,175
♪ Israel and Iceland
1025
00:42:58,208 --> 00:43:00,110
♪ Mexico and Spain
1026
00:43:00,143 --> 00:43:02,379
♪ Portugal and Sweden
1027
00:43:02,412 --> 00:43:05,982
♪ Norway, but we're gonna
go to the Netherlands
1028
00:43:06,016 --> 00:43:10,621
♪ To the Netherlands,
where we can legally wed
1029
00:43:10,654 --> 00:43:13,857
♪ And touch your Netherlands
1030
00:43:13,890 --> 00:43:15,926
♪ Or we could go to Norway
1031
00:43:15,959 --> 00:43:18,462
♪ So we could do it our way
1032
00:43:18,495 --> 00:43:20,697
♪ We're getting married
1033
00:43:20,730 --> 00:43:24,902
♪ Our passion will carry
us all the way to the altar
1034
00:43:28,138 --> 00:43:30,273
♪ Prince Albert will be there
1035
00:43:30,306 --> 00:43:32,743
♪ And so will the queens
1036
00:43:32,776 --> 00:43:34,944
♪ We'll diss the reception
1037
00:43:34,978 --> 00:43:37,547
♪ Have sex like machines
1038
00:43:37,580 --> 00:43:39,415
♪ It'll be great fun
1039
00:43:39,449 --> 00:43:42,953
♪ Gonna be covered in cum
1040
00:43:51,961 --> 00:43:53,062
- Hey, wrestler, man.
1041
00:43:53,096 --> 00:43:54,631
I love you.
- Oh, I love you, too,
1042
00:43:54,664 --> 00:43:57,467
other wrestler man.
- Guess what time it is?
1043
00:43:57,500 --> 00:43:58,969
- What time is it?
1044
00:43:59,002 --> 00:44:02,406
- It's wedding time, dude.
- Oh, that's so cool.
1045
00:44:03,606 --> 00:44:05,208
♪ It's wedding time
1046
00:44:05,241 --> 00:44:06,576
♪ It's wedding time
1047
00:44:06,609 --> 00:44:08,311
♪ It's wedding time
1048
00:44:08,344 --> 00:44:10,547
♪ It's wedding time
1049
00:44:10,580 --> 00:44:12,482
♪ Dressed in a tux
1050
00:44:12,515 --> 00:44:16,420
♪ Finally walking down the aisle
1051
00:44:16,453 --> 00:44:20,157
♪ And I cannot help but smile
1052
00:44:20,190 --> 00:44:23,393
♪ Hold rings in hand
1053
00:44:23,426 --> 00:44:27,330
♪ Excitement I cannot withstand
1054
00:44:27,363 --> 00:44:30,634
♪ You were handsome, I'll admit
1055
00:44:30,667 --> 00:44:34,438
♪ I've loved you
since the day we met
1056
00:44:34,471 --> 00:44:36,306
♪ It's time to tie the damn knot
1057
00:44:36,339 --> 00:44:38,375
♪ You know we've waited a lot
1058
00:44:38,408 --> 00:44:39,976
♪ We wait with grace
like a fine wine
1059
00:44:40,009 --> 00:44:41,778
♪ Come on, it's wedding time
1060
00:44:41,811 --> 00:44:44,581
♪ Woo hoo
1061
00:44:44,614 --> 00:44:46,650
- Who is Zen Joeanne?
1062
00:44:46,683 --> 00:44:49,152
- Zen Jwan, she's your daughter.
1063
00:44:49,185 --> 00:44:51,688
- In the musical with Harvey.
- Jack.
1064
00:44:51,721 --> 00:44:53,157
- Dude, yeah, me.
1065
00:44:55,592 --> 00:44:59,129
- OK, anyway, look, seriously,
great, great week, guys.
1066
00:44:59,162 --> 00:45:02,365
So, get home, rest up,
early night, we have got
1067
00:45:02,398 --> 00:45:03,734
a media showing tomorrow.
1068
00:45:03,767 --> 00:45:04,935
Woo.
1069
00:45:04,968 --> 00:45:08,437
- I just wanted to
say, I love you guys.
1070
00:45:08,471 --> 00:45:09,706
- I love you, too.
1071
00:45:09,739 --> 00:45:11,408
I just wanted to thank God,
1072
00:45:11,441 --> 00:45:13,442
except for my kid being born,
1073
00:45:13,476 --> 00:45:16,780
this is the greatest night
in the history of my life.
1074
00:45:16,813 --> 00:45:19,416
Yo, Adrian, we did it.
1075
00:45:19,449 --> 00:45:21,551
- Mark.
- Adrian.
1076
00:45:21,584 --> 00:45:23,787
- Dude.
- No, I'm just saying.
1077
00:45:23,820 --> 00:45:26,790
You guys are like my Adrian.
- Who's Adrian?
1078
00:45:26,823 --> 00:45:29,158
- It's a Rocky thing.
- What?
1079
00:45:30,393 --> 00:45:31,728
- Rocky, it's a boxing movie.
- It's not just
1080
00:45:31,761 --> 00:45:33,529
a boxing movie.
- Doesn't matter.
1081
00:45:33,563 --> 00:45:35,298
Anyway, guys, seriously,
get home, rest up,
1082
00:45:35,331 --> 00:45:37,267
I'll see ya tomorrow,
bright and early, all right?
1083
00:45:37,300 --> 00:45:39,870
- Yeah, good day.
- See ya.
1084
00:45:39,903 --> 00:45:42,071
- See ya, Alan, bye, mate.
1085
00:45:43,606 --> 00:45:44,775
Fucking doing it, man.
1086
00:45:44,808 --> 00:45:46,977
We're having a fucking
Broadway musical.
1087
00:45:47,010 --> 00:45:48,345
Boom shaka laka.
1088
00:45:50,580 --> 00:45:51,748
- Fuck, fuck yeah.
1089
00:45:51,781 --> 00:45:53,517
- Fuck the police.
1090
00:45:53,550 --> 00:45:55,418
- Fuck your mom.
1091
00:45:55,451 --> 00:45:56,887
- Fuck fuck boom.
1092
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,221
- Fuck fuck.
1093
00:45:58,254 --> 00:46:00,056
- Fuck lettuce.
1094
00:46:00,089 --> 00:46:01,424
- Fuck this cup.
1095
00:46:02,659 --> 00:46:04,127
(yelling, grunting)
1096
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:05,828
Fuck a keyboard.
1097
00:46:05,862 --> 00:46:08,098
(laughing)
1098
00:46:12,936 --> 00:46:14,404
- You fuckwoods free tonight?
1099
00:46:14,437 --> 00:46:15,939
- Yeah, sure, man.
1100
00:46:17,607 --> 00:46:18,408
- OK.
1101
00:46:19,809 --> 00:46:21,311
Here you go, guys.
1102
00:46:22,478 --> 00:46:24,347
- Jesus.
- Actually butchered these
1103
00:46:24,380 --> 00:46:26,883
myself at my farm.
- Oh, cool.
1104
00:46:26,916 --> 00:46:29,186
Do you hunt a lot?
- Yeah, fair bit.
1105
00:46:29,219 --> 00:46:31,788
- How many guns you got?
- Just the one.
1106
00:46:31,821 --> 00:46:33,356
- How do you hunt a quail?
1107
00:46:33,389 --> 00:46:35,258
- Use a trap, mate.
- You ever killed a lion?
1108
00:46:35,291 --> 00:46:36,860
- So, where's your farm?
1109
00:46:36,893 --> 00:46:38,729
- 100 miles northwest.
1110
00:46:39,929 --> 00:46:41,932
- Get there a lot?
- Nah, not as much
1111
00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:43,600
as I used to.
1112
00:46:43,633 --> 00:46:46,035
Did you ever see a fucking
lion in the bush, dude?
1113
00:46:46,069 --> 00:46:47,504
(laughing)
1114
00:46:47,537 --> 00:46:49,606
- Well, I wouldn't know,
I've never been to the bush.
1115
00:46:49,639 --> 00:46:51,909
(laughing)
1116
00:46:53,910 --> 00:46:56,613
- Hey, who's that?
- That handsome bastard
1117
00:46:56,646 --> 00:46:58,148
up there is Billy.
1118
00:47:02,986 --> 00:47:05,922
Actually, Billy and I
bought this place together.
1119
00:47:05,955 --> 00:47:07,424
Yeah.
1120
00:47:07,457 --> 00:47:11,361
Bought the farm together,
too, but he passed away.
1121
00:47:14,264 --> 00:47:15,365
Listen, boys.
1122
00:47:18,601 --> 00:47:21,772
I've been doing this
shit all my life.
1123
00:47:22,639 --> 00:47:23,740
Billy was my,
1124
00:47:26,809 --> 00:47:30,080
and I kept it hidden, for what?
1125
00:47:30,113 --> 00:47:31,281
For my career.
1126
00:47:32,882 --> 00:47:34,217
Pretty shameful, huh?
1127
00:47:34,250 --> 00:47:36,987
So, when I saw
your little video,
1128
00:47:37,954 --> 00:47:40,123
I decided that I had to do it.
1129
00:47:40,156 --> 00:47:43,660
I guess it's the closest
I'll ever come to
1130
00:47:45,561 --> 00:47:46,830
well, you know.
1131
00:47:50,266 --> 00:47:52,369
- Did Billy like hunting?
1132
00:47:54,337 --> 00:47:55,939
- He fucking loved it, mate.
1133
00:47:55,972 --> 00:47:58,242
(laughing)
1134
00:48:11,421 --> 00:48:13,356
- Full on, man.
- Big time.
1135
00:48:13,389 --> 00:48:15,025
- I had goosebumps.
- I nearly cried.
1136
00:48:15,058 --> 00:48:16,092
- Really?
1137
00:48:16,125 --> 00:48:17,527
Me, too.
1138
00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:18,795
- Wrecking Man's gay.
1139
00:48:18,828 --> 00:48:20,497
- Still a total badass, though.
1140
00:48:20,530 --> 00:48:21,431
- Uber bad.
1141
00:48:23,299 --> 00:48:25,201
Hey, we should write
a song about that.
1142
00:48:25,234 --> 00:48:27,069
- What, about Jack and Billy?
1143
00:48:27,103 --> 00:48:30,106
That would be sweet, we
could call it Billy's Song.
1144
00:48:30,139 --> 00:48:33,209
♪ Day by day
1145
00:48:33,242 --> 00:48:35,846
♪ Hand in hand
1146
00:48:36,879 --> 00:48:38,882
♪ Strength to strength
1147
00:48:38,915 --> 00:48:41,351
♪ Man to man
1148
00:48:45,521 --> 00:48:49,292
- Like the final moments
before the big fight, isn't it?
1149
00:48:49,325 --> 00:48:51,194
Alone in the ring.
1150
00:48:51,227 --> 00:48:52,662
Doubt.
1151
00:48:52,695 --> 00:48:55,332
I didn't have you watch Rocky
as a kid because you loved
1152
00:48:55,365 --> 00:48:56,799
the fights.
1153
00:48:56,833 --> 00:48:59,836
Rocky made the most
of every opportunity.
1154
00:48:59,869 --> 00:49:03,006
You couldn't have a
better role model.
1155
00:49:04,307 --> 00:49:08,312
Unless someone like you
cares a whole awful lot,
1156
00:49:09,312 --> 00:49:11,647
nothing is gonna get better.
1157
00:49:13,016 --> 00:49:13,850
It's not.
1158
00:49:20,656 --> 00:49:24,327
- Hey, Jack, we
wrote you a new song.
1159
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:25,462
It's our final number.
1160
00:49:25,495 --> 00:49:27,497
- The melody's the same.
1161
00:49:34,337 --> 00:49:36,006
- Thanks, guys.
- Thanks, mate.
1162
00:49:36,039 --> 00:49:39,109
- Yeah, no worries, man.
- We're on.
1163
00:49:39,142 --> 00:49:41,778
- Let's do this, guys.
- Sugars.
1164
00:49:41,811 --> 00:49:42,813
- All right.
1165
00:49:44,814 --> 00:49:48,317
(tense, melancholy music)
1166
00:50:14,677 --> 00:50:16,079
- Ladies and gentlemen.
1167
00:50:16,112 --> 00:50:18,281
Introducing Mr. Mark
Zeegrab and Gary Eastwood,
1168
00:50:18,314 --> 00:50:20,750
creators of Honey I'm Homeless.
1169
00:50:20,783 --> 00:50:23,153
- Ladies and gentlemen,
you're about to witness
1170
00:50:23,186 --> 00:50:26,423
what's been a relatively
short, but intense process.
1171
00:50:26,456 --> 00:50:27,624
I've really loved it.
1172
00:50:27,657 --> 00:50:28,825
Gary?
- Yeah, mate.
1173
00:50:28,858 --> 00:50:30,326
Equal love.
1174
00:50:30,359 --> 00:50:32,127
This is a really important
story and we're just really
1175
00:50:32,161 --> 00:50:35,065
honored to be able to tell
it, so without further ado--
1176
00:50:35,098 --> 00:50:37,433
- [Mark] Let's get
this show on the road.
1177
00:50:37,467 --> 00:50:38,902
♪ It's wedding time
1178
00:50:38,935 --> 00:50:40,770
♪ It's wedding time
1179
00:50:40,803 --> 00:50:42,404
♪ Dressed in a tux
1180
00:50:42,438 --> 00:50:43,573
♪ They look sublime
1181
00:50:43,606 --> 00:50:46,876
♪ I'm finally walking
down the aisle
1182
00:50:46,909 --> 00:50:50,513
♪ And I just cannot
help but smile
1183
00:50:50,546 --> 00:50:53,883
♪ Holds our rings in hand
1184
00:50:53,916 --> 00:50:57,821
♪ Excitement I cannot withstand
1185
00:50:57,854 --> 00:51:01,091
♪ You look handsome, I'll admit
1186
00:51:01,124 --> 00:51:02,991
- You know, sometimes I think
I should have stayed inside
1187
00:51:03,025 --> 00:51:05,361
and watered my cactus
instead of coming out
1188
00:51:05,394 --> 00:51:07,096
and munching my mattress.
1189
00:51:07,130 --> 00:51:08,898
OK, I'm not interested
in the opposite sex,
1190
00:51:08,931 --> 00:51:11,167
but you people want
to put a hex on us.
1191
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:13,002
Not cool, Mr. Politician.
1192
00:51:13,035 --> 00:51:15,471
I see you in court, I
think you've been bought.
1193
00:51:15,505 --> 00:51:18,475
OK, I'm an appreciator
of Broadway musicals.
1194
00:51:18,508 --> 00:51:20,109
But you're the brown noser.
1195
00:51:20,143 --> 00:51:22,579
I may enjoy an Oscar
Wilde quote, but at least
1196
00:51:22,612 --> 00:51:24,581
I'm not fishing for votes.
1197
00:51:24,614 --> 00:51:27,283
How could you sit on
this for four weeks?
1198
00:51:27,316 --> 00:51:28,417
- I was trying to fix it.
1199
00:51:28,451 --> 00:51:29,752
- This is not what husbands do.
1200
00:51:29,785 --> 00:51:31,555
- We're not husbands.
1201
00:51:33,422 --> 00:51:34,257
Come here.
1202
00:51:40,830 --> 00:51:44,334
♪ If only I'd been faster
1203
00:51:47,103 --> 00:51:50,273
♪ I could have saved the day
1204
00:51:50,306 --> 00:51:53,109
♪ Ah yeah
1205
00:51:53,142 --> 00:51:56,145
♪ I would have made
your favorite pasta
1206
00:51:56,179 --> 00:51:59,449
♪ Spaghetti bolognese
1207
00:51:59,482 --> 00:52:02,352
♪ And not told you that I'm gay
1208
00:52:02,385 --> 00:52:05,421
♪ Told you that
I'm gay, gay, gay
1209
00:52:05,454 --> 00:52:06,556
♪ Gay
1210
00:52:06,589 --> 00:52:09,625
♪ I woulda shoulda coulda
1211
00:52:09,659 --> 00:52:11,995
♪ Ah yeah
1212
00:52:12,028 --> 00:52:15,231
♪ I promise I'll be true now
1213
00:52:15,264 --> 00:52:18,301
♪ So true now
1214
00:52:18,334 --> 00:52:22,071
♪ No more secrets in my world
1215
00:52:22,104 --> 00:52:25,609
♪ Dad, I'll make ya proud
1216
00:52:35,785 --> 00:52:37,520
♪ It's here
1217
00:52:37,553 --> 00:52:41,156
♪ The day I never
thought we'd see
1218
00:52:41,190 --> 00:52:44,727
♪ 200 friends and family
1219
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:46,496
♪ Two matching suits
1220
00:52:46,529 --> 00:52:48,765
♪ Two wedding rings
1221
00:52:48,798 --> 00:52:51,100
♪ Too scary
1222
00:52:51,133 --> 00:52:52,401
♪ You
1223
00:52:52,435 --> 00:52:55,505
♪ You turned to me
and fixed my tie
1224
00:52:55,538 --> 00:52:59,375
♪ It makes you laugh
to know I'll cry
1225
00:52:59,408 --> 00:53:03,513
♪ It wouldn't be
the first time, baby
1226
00:53:05,681 --> 00:53:09,452
♪ With this ring, I am yours
1227
00:53:12,655 --> 00:53:14,791
♪ And you are mine forever
1228
00:53:14,824 --> 00:53:17,093
♪ With this vow
1229
00:53:17,126 --> 00:53:21,064
♪ We won't hide it anymore
1230
00:53:21,097 --> 00:53:23,833
♪ Now I know
1231
00:53:23,866 --> 00:53:26,636
♪ Why they sing about it
1232
00:53:26,669 --> 00:53:27,971
♪ Write about it
1233
00:53:28,004 --> 00:53:30,707
♪ Now I see
1234
00:53:30,740 --> 00:53:34,578
♪ That the future isn't blind
1235
00:53:36,946 --> 00:53:39,249
♪ Now a man to man
1236
00:53:39,282 --> 00:53:43,519
♪ And my world seems
upside down and crazy
1237
00:53:43,552 --> 00:53:47,224
♪ But I know I'm in control
1238
00:53:50,459 --> 00:53:52,995
♪ Now you're here with me
1239
00:53:53,029 --> 00:53:57,467
♪ Let's seal the deal
and shout out loud
1240
00:53:57,500 --> 00:54:01,605
♪ You have tied me
down and set me free
1241
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:07,410
♪ We'll go from strength
to strength as man to man
1242
00:54:18,087 --> 00:54:20,890
♪ But first I fought against it
1243
00:54:20,923 --> 00:54:22,892
♪ I was mean
1244
00:54:22,925 --> 00:54:25,995
♪ What does a
piece of paper mean
1245
00:54:26,028 --> 00:54:30,200
♪ Two signatures, two
blushing grooms, too corny
1246
00:54:31,567 --> 00:54:33,169
♪ Besides
1247
00:54:33,202 --> 00:54:36,306
♪ We've been
together for so long
1248
00:54:36,339 --> 00:54:39,642
♪ To boast about
it just seems wrong
1249
00:54:39,675 --> 00:54:43,279
♪ You touched my
cheek and just said
1250
00:54:43,312 --> 00:54:45,214
♪ Baby
1251
00:54:46,982 --> 00:54:49,986
♪ Let's find out
1252
00:54:50,019 --> 00:54:53,555
♪ Why they sing about
it, write about it
1253
00:54:53,589 --> 00:54:56,426
♪ Let's just see
1254
00:54:56,459 --> 00:55:00,296
♪ If that future isn't blind
1255
00:55:00,329 --> 00:55:03,466
♪ With this ring
1256
00:55:03,499 --> 00:55:07,270
♪ I'll be yours and
you'll be mine forever
1257
00:55:07,303 --> 00:55:10,306
♪ With this vow
1258
00:55:10,339 --> 00:55:13,910
♪ We won't hide it anymore
1259
00:55:17,213 --> 00:55:20,717
♪ And we'll be man to man
1260
00:55:26,522 --> 00:55:28,825
♪ I know it's crazy
1261
00:55:28,858 --> 00:55:32,762
♪ But this time I'm in control
1262
00:55:35,431 --> 00:55:38,301
♪ 'Cause you're here with me
1263
00:55:38,334 --> 00:55:42,772
♪ Let's seal the deal
and shout out loud
1264
00:55:42,805 --> 00:55:46,975
♪ You have tied me
down and set me free
1265
00:55:48,677 --> 00:55:52,849
♪ We'll go from strength
to strength as man to man
1266
00:55:59,054 --> 00:56:01,391
♪ Day by day
1267
00:56:02,725 --> 00:56:05,295
♪ Hand in hand
1268
00:56:06,896 --> 00:56:11,067
♪ Strength to
strength, man to man
1269
00:56:23,679 --> 00:56:25,949
(applause)
1270
00:56:31,086 --> 00:56:33,490
(chattering)
1271
00:56:37,026 --> 00:56:39,694
- So, Kip, what was it
like working on Suck?
1272
00:56:39,728 --> 00:56:43,399
- Victor Fringe, I
fucked the camera, cut.
1273
00:56:43,432 --> 00:56:45,000
- Kip, that's awesome.
- You've got some
1274
00:56:45,034 --> 00:56:47,036
action man guns.
- Yeah, right.
1275
00:56:47,069 --> 00:56:50,072
- Bang bang.
- I will wreck you.
1276
00:56:50,105 --> 00:56:51,841
- Seriously, boys,
from the heart.
1277
00:56:51,874 --> 00:56:53,075
You boys are solid.
1278
00:56:53,108 --> 00:56:54,610
You talk the talk, you
get things done, eh?
1279
00:56:54,643 --> 00:56:57,480
- Thanks, Jack.
- My balls are blue.
1280
00:56:57,513 --> 00:56:59,281
Yeah, well, cider
makes me horny.
1281
00:56:59,315 --> 00:57:00,783
You know, I would totally
bone this bottle if
1282
00:57:00,816 --> 00:57:05,221
my dick wasn't in the top
10% allocation under 30.
1283
00:57:05,254 --> 00:57:07,490
- Eastwood and Zeegrab.
1284
00:57:07,523 --> 00:57:08,925
- Do you want to make
over the mall, Tiff?
1285
00:57:08,958 --> 00:57:10,326
- Suck a dick.
1286
00:57:10,359 --> 00:57:12,795
Just finished a workshop
with Fairfax Ward.
1287
00:57:12,828 --> 00:57:14,297
- Who?
- Oh, you know.
1288
00:57:14,330 --> 00:57:16,165
The hottest director ever.
- Oh, that's debatable.
1289
00:57:16,198 --> 00:57:17,033
- Patrol.
1290
00:57:17,933 --> 00:57:20,136
Tiff, rum, hoofters.
1291
00:57:20,169 --> 00:57:21,004
Cosmo.
1292
00:57:21,971 --> 00:57:23,072
Jack Simpson.
1293
00:57:24,273 --> 00:57:25,708
I will wreck you.
1294
00:57:27,276 --> 00:57:30,613
- Dude, your fly's undone.
- Easy access.
1295
00:57:34,783 --> 00:57:38,254
- I'm gonna get, does
anyone want anything?
1296
00:57:38,287 --> 00:57:40,957
(hip hop music)
1297
00:57:43,025 --> 00:57:46,162
- So, rehearsals with
Fairfax are amazing.
1298
00:57:46,195 --> 00:57:47,763
- I bet.
- Take me out to dinner
1299
00:57:47,796 --> 00:57:51,301
tomorrow night.
- Is the Chad gonna tag on?
1300
00:57:53,335 --> 00:57:58,307
Whatever gets you ahead, babe.
- I fucking hate you.
1301
00:57:58,340 --> 00:58:00,676
- Just feel like a
fucking phony, man.
1302
00:58:00,709 --> 00:58:01,977
I can't sing.
1303
00:58:02,011 --> 00:58:04,647
My fucking fringe is insured.
1304
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,450
I just want to
work in a Hobbyco.
1305
00:58:09,184 --> 00:58:11,087
- Come here, mate.
1306
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:12,121
There we go.
1307
00:58:13,188 --> 00:58:15,091
- Hey boys.
- Hey.
1308
00:58:15,124 --> 00:58:16,325
Jack.
1309
00:58:16,358 --> 00:58:18,828
- Still burning?
- Yeah, mate, OK.
1310
00:58:19,762 --> 00:58:22,398
I'll just grab you a water.
1311
00:58:22,431 --> 00:58:23,833
- What's happening?
1312
00:58:23,866 --> 00:58:24,967
- Oh, Shay, sup?
1313
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:26,335
Come meet us, man.
1314
00:58:26,368 --> 00:58:27,670
We're at Life Car.
1315
00:58:27,703 --> 00:58:29,805
I've got to go, bye.
1316
00:58:29,838 --> 00:58:32,509
(hip hop music)
1317
00:58:55,731 --> 00:58:56,832
Ow.
1318
00:58:56,865 --> 00:58:58,167
- You suck.
- Give me a minute.
1319
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,035
I'll get it up, I promise.
1320
00:59:00,069 --> 00:59:01,003
Come back.
1321
00:59:01,036 --> 00:59:03,306
(retching)
1322
00:59:06,809 --> 00:59:09,111
- Gary, what the fuck?
1323
00:59:09,144 --> 00:59:10,312
You're a dick.
1324
00:59:13,248 --> 00:59:16,252
- Get out of here, man.
- Smoke bomb?
1325
00:59:20,255 --> 00:59:22,659
♪ Day by day
1326
00:59:23,826 --> 00:59:26,396
♪ Hand in hand
1327
00:59:28,397 --> 00:59:30,633
♪ Strength to strength
1328
00:59:30,666 --> 00:59:33,102
♪ Man to man
1329
00:59:38,807 --> 00:59:40,408
(foreign language spoken)
1330
00:59:40,442 --> 00:59:41,577
- What's up, man?
1331
00:59:41,610 --> 00:59:44,147
You missed the
best night, it was.
1332
00:59:57,626 --> 00:59:58,461
Is he OK?
1333
01:00:00,062 --> 01:00:02,632
- He's in ICU, he's unstable.
1334
01:00:02,665 --> 01:00:05,067
Just crossing the road, boys.
1335
01:00:12,541 --> 01:00:14,310
- What's all that about?
1336
01:00:14,343 --> 01:00:16,245
- It's all mad,
won't let me see him.
1337
01:00:16,278 --> 01:00:17,546
- That's fucked.
- Who's that fat prick
1338
01:00:17,579 --> 01:00:20,449
to say you can't see him?
- The law.
1339
01:00:20,482 --> 01:00:21,651
- What do you mean it's the law?
1340
01:00:21,684 --> 01:00:23,719
- Well, the family
has visitation rights.
1341
01:00:23,752 --> 01:00:25,054
- You guys are family,
you've been together
1342
01:00:25,087 --> 01:00:26,322
for like eight years.
- Yeah, I know,
1343
01:00:26,355 --> 01:00:30,093
but we're not married.
- Well, you want to be.
1344
01:00:31,393 --> 01:00:32,895
That's a dumb law.
1345
01:00:34,096 --> 01:00:35,564
- We could speak to
the nurse for you.
1346
01:00:35,597 --> 01:00:36,699
- I can do that.
1347
01:00:36,732 --> 01:00:38,434
I just can't see him.
1348
01:00:38,467 --> 01:00:40,102
- Man, when Carl wakes
up, he's gonna bash that
1349
01:00:40,135 --> 01:00:40,970
fat fuck.
1350
01:00:42,838 --> 01:00:45,975
- So, when is he gonna wake up?
1351
01:00:46,008 --> 01:00:48,678
- When his brain stops swelling.
1352
01:00:50,979 --> 01:00:53,281
He was buying tickets
for our anniversary.
1353
01:00:53,315 --> 01:00:55,284
It's where we met.
1354
01:00:55,317 --> 01:00:58,421
Just want to see next
to some islander.
1355
01:00:58,454 --> 01:00:59,455
Tied as one.
1356
01:01:00,856 --> 01:01:02,458
I thought he was gonna
bash me, but then he just
1357
01:01:02,491 --> 01:01:04,593
caught up and he shook my hand,
1358
01:01:04,626 --> 01:01:07,430
and just congratulated me.
- Shay.
1359
01:01:07,463 --> 01:01:10,533
You know we leave
in two days, right?
1360
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:14,537
- So where does that leave you?
1361
01:01:14,570 --> 01:01:15,405
- Here.
1362
01:01:20,943 --> 01:01:23,012
I'm gonna e-mail you
my Twitter deets.
1363
01:01:23,045 --> 01:01:24,213
All right?
1364
01:01:24,246 --> 01:01:26,916
You sort out the
media shit tonight.
1365
01:01:32,588 --> 01:01:33,423
Oh, fuck.
1366
01:01:37,860 --> 01:01:39,061
- OK, mate.
1367
01:01:39,094 --> 01:01:41,197
(crying)
1368
01:01:42,765 --> 01:01:46,234
- I never seen Shay so upset.
- Carl will wake up.
1369
01:01:46,268 --> 01:01:48,004
- What if he doesn't?
1370
01:01:49,605 --> 01:01:51,541
- He will.
- You reckon?
1371
01:01:52,674 --> 01:01:55,344
- Just gotta believe
he will, man.
1372
01:01:55,377 --> 01:01:57,580
- What if he doesn't?
- Fuck, dude.
1373
01:01:57,613 --> 01:02:01,484
I don't know, like, what
do you want me to say?
1374
01:02:02,518 --> 01:02:03,953
Oh.
1375
01:02:03,986 --> 01:02:06,989
Well, yeah, by the way,
our show sucks, apparently.
1376
01:02:07,022 --> 01:02:09,491
Yep, it's like, what's this,
an episode of South Park
1377
01:02:09,525 --> 01:02:10,960
except not funny.
1378
01:02:10,993 --> 01:02:12,461
Oh, this is good.
1379
01:02:12,494 --> 01:02:13,963
Despite a stunning finale,
the writers lack insight
1380
01:02:13,996 --> 01:02:15,664
into the theme, and this
is a good tweet, this one.
1381
01:02:15,697 --> 01:02:19,435
Worst casting of the
decade, pairing a tween idol
1382
01:02:19,468 --> 01:02:22,238
and aging action star
as star crossed lovers.
1383
01:02:22,271 --> 01:02:23,206
- Oh, fuck.
1384
01:02:24,907 --> 01:02:27,209
Fuck.
- What are you doing, man?
1385
01:02:27,242 --> 01:02:28,744
- Man, no one else is out
there trying to do anything
1386
01:02:28,777 --> 01:02:30,646
about marriage equality.
- Yeah, well, maybe
1387
01:02:30,679 --> 01:02:31,547
they're right.
1388
01:02:31,580 --> 01:02:33,249
- Well, they're not.
1389
01:02:36,852 --> 01:02:39,788
- Oh, no fucking way.
- Tweet that shit to the man.
1390
01:02:39,822 --> 01:02:42,124
Aging action star and
tween idol dry fuck
1391
01:02:42,157 --> 01:02:44,927
in an alley, hashtag
marriage equality.
1392
01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:47,730
- All right, tween
idol, action star,
1393
01:02:47,763 --> 01:02:49,531
dry fuck in alley, attach image.
1394
01:02:49,565 --> 01:02:50,766
- Don't.
- I'm not actually gonna
1395
01:02:50,799 --> 01:02:52,001
do it, dick, I'm
just having a joke.
1396
01:02:52,034 --> 01:02:53,435
- It's not funny.
- Fuck off.
1397
01:02:53,468 --> 01:02:54,970
- Neither are you,
according to the reviews.
1398
01:02:55,003 --> 01:02:56,972
- I didn't read the tweet
that said Gary isn't funny,
1399
01:02:57,005 --> 01:02:58,207
but Mark's hilarious.
1400
01:02:58,240 --> 01:02:59,274
Do you want to read that
one to me, dickface?
1401
01:02:59,308 --> 01:03:00,276
- You're a fucking dickhead.
1402
01:03:00,309 --> 01:03:01,243
- You're soft.
- No, I'm not.
1403
01:03:01,276 --> 01:03:02,578
- You are, call Beck Bernstein.
1404
01:03:02,611 --> 01:03:03,645
- Tell Tiff you gave her warts.
1405
01:03:03,679 --> 01:03:04,780
- No.
- You're a fucking
1406
01:03:04,813 --> 01:03:05,981
loser, dude.
- Yeah, well, you're
1407
01:03:06,014 --> 01:03:08,083
a fucking grandma dick
faced shit fucker.
1408
01:03:08,116 --> 01:03:09,585
- Yeah, well, at least
I got a fucking family
1409
01:03:09,618 --> 01:03:10,653
that like me.
1410
01:03:10,686 --> 01:03:12,421
(grunting)
1411
01:03:12,454 --> 01:03:14,891
Fuck, Gary, you fucking cock.
1412
01:03:17,659 --> 01:03:19,895
- What?
- How do you delete a Tweet?
1413
01:03:19,928 --> 01:03:20,830
- Oh, fuck.
1414
01:03:26,969 --> 01:03:29,205
- Did you do it?
- Yeah, it's fine.
1415
01:03:29,238 --> 01:03:30,071
- Fuck.
1416
01:03:31,106 --> 01:03:33,342
(laughing)
1417
01:03:34,943 --> 01:03:35,778
- Far out.
1418
01:03:37,446 --> 01:03:38,614
Hey, look, I'm
1419
01:03:41,383 --> 01:03:42,216
sorry.
1420
01:03:43,685 --> 01:03:45,387
You're too soft to
call Beth Bernstein and
1421
01:03:45,420 --> 01:03:49,725
you fuck your grandma.
- I'm sorry you spread warts.
1422
01:03:49,758 --> 01:03:51,828
And your family hates ya.
1423
01:03:55,530 --> 01:03:57,800
Fuck man, I hope Carl's OK.
1424
01:03:58,901 --> 01:04:00,837
- Me, too, man, me, too.
1425
01:04:08,210 --> 01:04:09,712
- Hey.
- Hey, Jack.
1426
01:04:11,513 --> 01:04:13,348
- Fucking assholes.
1427
01:04:13,382 --> 01:04:15,117
How could you?
1428
01:04:15,150 --> 01:04:17,386
One point one million followers.
1429
01:04:17,419 --> 01:04:18,953
- Fuck, the tweet.
1430
01:04:18,987 --> 01:04:20,890
No, no, no, we deleted it, Jack.
1431
01:04:20,923 --> 01:04:22,991
- Too late, dickhead.
- It was an accident.
1432
01:04:23,025 --> 01:04:24,293
- I'm so sorry.
1433
01:04:29,932 --> 01:04:31,033
- We're done.
1434
01:04:32,868 --> 01:04:33,769
- Kip's out.
1435
01:04:33,802 --> 01:04:35,304
Suck Two has been optioned.
1436
01:04:35,337 --> 01:04:36,572
- Oh, whatever.
1437
01:04:37,806 --> 01:04:39,275
- I'm leaving the show.
1438
01:04:39,308 --> 01:04:41,377
You hurt Jack's feelings.
1439
01:04:53,488 --> 01:04:54,656
- Two for one.
1440
01:04:58,293 --> 01:04:59,996
- [Gary] Thanks, Deb.
1441
01:05:01,930 --> 01:05:03,198
- There's not enough pepperoni.
1442
01:05:03,231 --> 01:05:06,035
- Yeah, or cheese.
- Try this one.
1443
01:05:06,068 --> 01:05:07,436
- No, I don't like chicken.
1444
01:05:07,469 --> 01:05:10,005
- Too much chili.
- Guys, these are gourmet.
1445
01:05:10,038 --> 01:05:11,674
- Well, it all turns to shit.
1446
01:05:11,707 --> 01:05:14,810
- OK, correct me if I'm
wrong, but I am sensing
1447
01:05:14,843 --> 01:05:17,446
some bad vibes.
- What, no.
1448
01:05:17,479 --> 01:05:19,147
I'm just not hungry.
- No, it's not about
1449
01:05:19,181 --> 01:05:21,116
you hunger, it's
about your energy.
1450
01:05:21,149 --> 01:05:22,518
- What?
1451
01:05:22,551 --> 01:05:24,520
- Just listening.
- I'm not in the mood, Deb.
1452
01:05:24,553 --> 01:05:26,821
- What's happened with the show?
1453
01:05:26,855 --> 01:05:28,624
I'm sensing a disturbance.
1454
01:05:28,657 --> 01:05:30,392
- Jack left the show today.
1455
01:05:30,425 --> 01:05:31,694
- Something else.
1456
01:05:31,727 --> 01:05:33,328
Very bad vibes.
1457
01:05:33,362 --> 01:05:35,764
A friend.
- Carl's in hospital.
1458
01:05:35,797 --> 01:05:37,433
- He'll be OK.
1459
01:05:37,466 --> 01:05:39,668
Something deeper.
1460
01:05:39,701 --> 01:05:40,536
Darker.
1461
01:05:42,571 --> 01:05:43,404
Doubt.
1462
01:05:45,607 --> 01:05:47,609
- We had an opportunity
and we screwed it.
1463
01:05:47,642 --> 01:05:51,180
- Been in free fall ever
since the Gilded Lilies.
1464
01:05:51,213 --> 01:05:52,681
- I quote.
1465
01:05:52,714 --> 01:05:54,750
A tender, honest love
story the likes of which
1466
01:05:54,783 --> 01:05:56,051
no one has ever seen.
1467
01:05:56,084 --> 01:05:58,620
I defy anyone with a
pulse not to relate.
1468
01:05:58,653 --> 01:06:00,122
Five stars, the Herald.
1469
01:06:00,155 --> 01:06:01,690
Tenth of a fifth, 2006.
1470
01:06:01,723 --> 01:06:04,894
- It was a fluke.
- It was our Top Gun.
1471
01:06:06,795 --> 01:06:09,498
See, we never meant for
Gilded Lilies to be gay.
1472
01:06:09,531 --> 01:06:13,067
The first draft, it was
about these two guys
1473
01:06:13,101 --> 01:06:15,070
from the bush who were
gonna come to the city
1474
01:06:15,103 --> 01:06:16,739
for a crack at
professional footie.
1475
01:06:16,772 --> 01:06:18,474
- Late in rehearsal, some
hotshot producer came in
1476
01:06:18,507 --> 01:06:21,110
and watched a run and he
said it was one of the most
1477
01:06:21,143 --> 01:06:23,612
beautiful gay love
stories he'd ever seen,
1478
01:06:23,645 --> 01:06:26,148
but he wanted to know why
the two guys didn't kiss.
1479
01:06:26,181 --> 01:06:28,283
- Yeah, yeah, we made some
shit up about how, like,
1480
01:06:28,316 --> 01:06:31,153
it would be more understated
this way, it's more honest.
1481
01:06:31,186 --> 01:06:34,056
- But he was like adamant
that the audience deserved
1482
01:06:34,089 --> 01:06:35,691
a kiss.
- So, we put one in.
1483
01:06:35,724 --> 01:06:38,761
- And we'd written the seminal
gay play of our generation.
1484
01:06:38,794 --> 01:06:41,296
- So?
- So, we're phonies.
1485
01:06:41,329 --> 01:06:42,965
- To yourselves, maybe,
but not to the thousands
1486
01:06:42,998 --> 01:06:45,367
that flocked to see it.
1487
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,803
Not to beefcakes that
were crying on my shoulder
1488
01:06:47,836 --> 01:06:50,906
when Shane and Wane
finally passed.
1489
01:06:50,939 --> 01:06:52,408
- Yeah, well, if they
read the first draft,
1490
01:06:52,441 --> 01:06:54,109
the would have seen
that Shane and Wane
1491
01:06:54,142 --> 01:06:55,577
raped a chick on their
first night in Sydney.
1492
01:06:55,610 --> 01:06:56,445
- Oh.
1493
01:06:57,412 --> 01:06:59,481
Well, they didn't.
1494
01:06:59,514 --> 01:07:01,150
Do you know why
that story worked?
1495
01:07:01,183 --> 01:07:03,719
Because it came from the heart.
1496
01:07:03,752 --> 01:07:04,587
OK.
1497
01:07:07,722 --> 01:07:09,625
You guys are in a cryosleep.
1498
01:07:09,658 --> 01:07:12,261
You need to wake
up, eat a space bar,
1499
01:07:12,294 --> 01:07:14,395
urinate, put your
space suit on, type in
1500
01:07:14,429 --> 01:07:16,632
your coordinates,
and trust your AI
1501
01:07:16,665 --> 01:07:19,235
to get you to your destination.
1502
01:07:20,469 --> 01:07:23,605
So, by AI I mean heart,
and by destination,
1503
01:07:23,638 --> 01:07:25,040
I mean script.
1504
01:07:25,073 --> 01:07:27,009
You know how to fly.
1505
01:07:27,042 --> 01:07:28,110
I've seen it.
1506
01:07:29,511 --> 01:07:31,779
Oh, midnight cosplay.
1507
01:07:31,813 --> 01:07:32,882
Ninja vanish.
1508
01:07:35,851 --> 01:07:38,587
(dramatic music)
1509
01:08:12,053 --> 01:08:14,223
(yelling)
1510
01:08:18,393 --> 01:08:20,796
(rock music)
1511
01:09:02,037 --> 01:09:03,639
♪ Well in the here and now
1512
01:09:03,671 --> 01:09:05,540
♪ We're gonna take this town
1513
01:09:05,573 --> 01:09:08,844
♪ We're gonna turn it inside out
1514
01:09:08,877 --> 01:09:10,412
♪ With all our hopes and dreams
1515
01:09:10,444 --> 01:09:12,880
♪ Up on the silver screen
1516
01:09:12,913 --> 01:09:16,018
♪ Come on, baby, our time is now
1517
01:09:16,051 --> 01:09:17,719
♪ I don't know what to do
1518
01:09:17,752 --> 01:09:19,621
♪ But I know if I'm with you
1519
01:09:19,654 --> 01:09:22,891
♪ We got the cards
stacked in our deck
1520
01:09:22,924 --> 01:09:24,693
♪ Before it gets too late
1521
01:09:24,725 --> 01:09:27,196
♪ We'll climb the Empire State
1522
01:09:27,229 --> 01:09:30,165
♪ Come on, baby, the time is now
1523
01:09:30,198 --> 01:09:33,669
♪ I see the city lights
1524
01:09:33,702 --> 01:09:37,272
♪ Boy, they twinkle in your eyes
1525
01:09:37,305 --> 01:09:40,943
♪ Won't let you out
of my sight, boy
1526
01:09:40,975 --> 01:09:44,845
♪ Come on, baby,
our time is now.
1527
01:09:44,879 --> 01:09:46,115
- Hey, Charlie.
1528
01:09:48,683 --> 01:09:50,118
- What the fuck is this?
1529
01:09:50,151 --> 01:09:51,720
The show you were
supposed to write,
1530
01:09:51,752 --> 01:09:53,455
the show I programmed,
is not the show
1531
01:09:53,488 --> 01:09:54,957
that you've written.
1532
01:09:54,990 --> 01:09:56,791
You've cast yourselves as
the lead, you got bad press.
1533
01:09:56,825 --> 01:09:58,961
People are asking
for their money back.
1534
01:09:58,994 --> 01:10:00,495
And at what point were
you planning on telling me
1535
01:10:00,528 --> 01:10:03,565
you lost Jack fucking Simpson?
1536
01:10:03,598 --> 01:10:05,634
- Just, it didn't work out, man.
1537
01:10:05,667 --> 01:10:06,802
- That's an understatement.
1538
01:10:06,835 --> 01:10:08,303
- We think this
one's really special.
1539
01:10:08,336 --> 01:10:09,805
- Billy and Me?
- Yeah, yeah.
1540
01:10:09,838 --> 01:10:11,039
Did you read it?
1541
01:10:11,072 --> 01:10:12,007
- Despite the fact I
want to punch you both
1542
01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:13,909
in the balls, it's not half bad.
1543
01:10:13,942 --> 01:10:15,577
- It uses the same set--
- Costume design.
1544
01:10:15,610 --> 01:10:17,913
- I will not program a show
with two unknown actors
1545
01:10:17,946 --> 01:10:20,148
from Australia without a star.
1546
01:10:20,181 --> 01:10:22,317
If you don't find me a
star by six PM tonight,
1547
01:10:22,350 --> 01:10:23,852
I'm pulling the fucking thing.
1548
01:10:23,885 --> 01:10:26,388
And if I pull the fucking
show, you're picking up
1549
01:10:26,421 --> 01:10:28,357
the fucking check.
- OK.
1550
01:10:30,825 --> 01:10:32,027
- [Man] Get your star maps here.
1551
01:10:32,060 --> 01:10:33,829
Lifestyles of the
rich and famous.
1552
01:10:33,862 --> 01:10:35,030
Star maps.
1553
01:10:35,063 --> 01:10:38,300
- Dude, star maps, like
celebrity addresses.
1554
01:10:38,333 --> 01:10:40,335
- Give me your phone,
give me your phone, quick.
1555
01:10:40,368 --> 01:10:42,604
- Hey, Google that shit.
1556
01:10:42,637 --> 01:10:46,174
Like New York celebrity
something, addresses.
1557
01:10:46,207 --> 01:10:48,143
Is there like a--
- Ricky Gervais,
1558
01:10:48,176 --> 01:10:51,280
Neil Patrick Harris, Donald
Trump, all within one mile.
1559
01:10:51,313 --> 01:10:53,482
- Wait, but Donald
Trump, dude, he's like a
1560
01:10:53,515 --> 01:10:55,050
billionaire businessman guy.
1561
01:10:55,083 --> 01:10:56,485
- No, I get a really
good vibe from him.
1562
01:10:56,518 --> 01:10:57,786
- He's not doing our
play, he's not an actor.
1563
01:10:57,819 --> 01:10:59,054
- Neither is anyone
else, at the moment,
1564
01:10:59,087 --> 01:11:01,323
so let's just keep
our options open, OK?
1565
01:11:01,356 --> 01:11:02,190
- OK.
1566
01:11:02,223 --> 01:11:04,727
(beat boxing)
1567
01:11:06,294 --> 01:11:08,530
- Mr. Gervais, thanks
so much for meeting us.
1568
01:11:08,563 --> 01:11:10,932
We've got this great play,
you'd be excellent in it.
1569
01:11:10,965 --> 01:11:12,401
It's a small commitment,
you literally open
1570
01:11:12,434 --> 01:11:13,802
and close the show.
1571
01:11:13,835 --> 01:11:17,773
It's five nights,
$50,000, what do you say?
1572
01:11:17,806 --> 01:11:19,840
- Are you having a laugh?
- Fuck, dude,
1573
01:11:19,874 --> 01:11:21,143
he's not actually
gonna say that.
1574
01:11:21,176 --> 01:11:22,544
- He might.
- Well, he's not going to.
1575
01:11:22,577 --> 01:11:23,412
- Mm.
1576
01:11:25,280 --> 01:11:27,148
- Thanks, Gary,
that's really helpful.
1577
01:11:27,182 --> 01:11:28,150
- Well, I'm just
saying he might.
1578
01:11:28,183 --> 01:11:29,351
- Well, he's not
going to, is he?
1579
01:11:29,384 --> 01:11:30,485
- Every possible
scenario, isn't it?
1580
01:11:30,518 --> 01:11:32,120
Hey, just after Ricky Gervais.
1581
01:11:32,153 --> 01:11:34,456
(laughing)
- OK.
1582
01:11:34,489 --> 01:11:36,023
♪ Start spreading the news
1583
01:11:36,057 --> 01:11:38,727
♪ We're here today
1584
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:40,462
- Hi, Pauly Shore there, please.
1585
01:11:40,495 --> 01:11:41,630
- Not here.
- OK.
1586
01:11:41,663 --> 01:11:42,998
(beat boxing)
1587
01:11:43,031 --> 01:11:45,500
- Hi, my name's Mark, I
was hoping Keanu Reeves
1588
01:11:45,533 --> 01:11:47,069
was there please?
- Yeah, who the fuck is this?
1589
01:11:47,102 --> 01:11:48,269
- Oh, we've written
him a script.
1590
01:11:48,303 --> 01:11:50,539
- Why, what for?
- We're from Australia.
1591
01:11:50,572 --> 01:11:52,140
Sorry, this is Gary, hi, yeah.
1592
01:11:52,173 --> 01:11:53,675
Yes, Keanu, from the Matrix.
1593
01:11:53,708 --> 01:11:54,843
- [Man] I don't know
who the fuck you are,
1594
01:11:54,876 --> 01:11:56,111
but you ain't seeing Keanu.
1595
01:11:56,144 --> 01:11:57,379
- You don't have to be
aggressive about it.
1596
01:11:57,412 --> 01:11:59,047
- [Man] Yeah, well, I
do, it's fucking Keanu.
1597
01:11:59,080 --> 01:12:01,583
- Yeah, angry American.
- I'm from America.
1598
01:12:01,616 --> 01:12:04,019
Mr. Sandman bring me a dream.
1599
01:12:08,223 --> 01:12:10,092
- Oh, yeah, just after Denzel.
- Denzel who?
1600
01:12:10,125 --> 01:12:11,026
- Washington.
1601
01:12:11,059 --> 01:12:12,661
Hey, just after Alec Baldwin.
1602
01:12:12,694 --> 01:12:14,496
- Hi, we're after Ian Ziering.
1603
01:12:14,529 --> 01:12:16,231
Hi, is Mr. T there please?
- Why don't you
1604
01:12:16,264 --> 01:12:18,166
fuck off, sucker?
- OK.
1605
01:12:18,199 --> 01:12:20,702
(beat boxing)
1606
01:12:21,669 --> 01:12:22,904
- No, we've come this far, man.
1607
01:12:22,937 --> 01:12:24,506
- No, fuck it, man.
1608
01:12:24,539 --> 01:12:26,875
Fuck New York, fuck our
play, fuck marriage equality,
1609
01:12:26,908 --> 01:12:28,377
fuck Rocky.
1610
01:12:28,410 --> 01:12:30,379
I just want to eat take
out, move to the suburbs,
1611
01:12:30,412 --> 01:12:31,780
get fat.
1612
01:12:31,813 --> 01:12:34,816
I'm gonna get so
fucking fat, man.
1613
01:12:34,849 --> 01:12:36,752
Gonna buy some track suit pants.
1614
01:12:36,785 --> 01:12:38,653
Gonna work in a call
center, watch porn
1615
01:12:38,686 --> 01:12:40,922
while my bogard
wife sucks my dick.
1616
01:12:40,955 --> 01:12:42,624
I don't give a fuck.
1617
01:12:44,559 --> 01:12:45,994
It's fucked, man.
1618
01:12:48,897 --> 01:12:49,965
- [Man] Lily.
1619
01:12:53,368 --> 01:12:54,203
- Hi.
1620
01:12:55,136 --> 01:12:56,638
We're Mark and Gary.
1621
01:12:56,671 --> 01:12:59,040
In 2007, someone in your
office took out an option
1622
01:12:59,073 --> 01:13:00,942
on the screen
adaptation of the play,
1623
01:13:00,975 --> 01:13:02,411
the Gilded Lilies.
- Yeah, now we're over here,
1624
01:13:02,444 --> 01:13:04,613
we're opening the New York
Festival with arguably
1625
01:13:04,646 --> 01:13:06,882
the most important play ever.
1626
01:13:06,915 --> 01:13:08,784
- Now, there's still
one role to be cast,
1627
01:13:08,817 --> 01:13:12,821
the age range is 18
to 85, ethnicity all.
1628
01:13:12,854 --> 01:13:15,624
$50,000 for five days work.
1629
01:13:15,657 --> 01:13:16,825
You do the math.
1630
01:13:16,858 --> 01:13:19,961
- Yeah, we got like
46 minutes, so.
1631
01:13:19,994 --> 01:13:21,263
Shall we dance?
1632
01:13:25,600 --> 01:13:28,103
(jazzy music)
1633
01:14:04,672 --> 01:14:05,907
- Well, cheers.
1634
01:14:09,077 --> 01:14:10,746
- Here's to failure.
1635
01:14:13,915 --> 01:14:15,584
- [Man] Have some chili, I
want a little chili there.
1636
01:14:15,617 --> 01:14:16,651
- No.
1637
01:14:16,684 --> 01:14:17,919
- [Man] I want just a handful.
1638
01:14:17,952 --> 01:14:19,421
- We're trying to toast, mate.
1639
01:14:19,454 --> 01:14:21,121
- [Man] I thought you were
supposed to be friendly.
1640
01:14:21,155 --> 01:14:23,657
- Fuck.
- Thanks, thanks.
1641
01:14:23,691 --> 01:14:25,360
(phone ringing)
1642
01:14:25,393 --> 01:14:27,563
Oh, yeah, this is McBebee.
1643
01:14:31,199 --> 01:14:32,034
Where?
1644
01:14:32,901 --> 01:14:34,169
Are you nuts or what?
1645
01:14:34,202 --> 01:14:35,370
You know what?
1646
01:14:35,403 --> 01:14:37,005
Do me a favor, send
it to my agent.
1647
01:14:37,038 --> 01:14:38,205
I mean, that's great.
1648
01:14:38,239 --> 01:14:41,175
Send it to my agent, all right?
1649
01:14:41,209 --> 01:14:42,611
I said send it to my agent.
1650
01:14:42,644 --> 01:14:45,247
Don't you speak
English, you moron?
1651
01:14:45,280 --> 01:14:46,114
OK, bye.
1652
01:14:47,582 --> 01:14:49,818
- Sorry, are you
Neville McBebee?
1653
01:14:49,851 --> 01:14:50,986
- Yeah, that's me.
1654
01:14:51,019 --> 01:14:53,321
(laughing)
1655
01:14:53,354 --> 01:14:54,690
What's so funny?
1656
01:14:56,558 --> 01:14:58,260
Is there something
wrong with you guys?
1657
01:14:58,293 --> 01:15:00,529
- I'm Mark.
- Yeah, I'm Gary.
1658
01:15:00,562 --> 01:15:01,963
- I'm McBebee, but
I don't get it.
1659
01:15:01,996 --> 01:15:04,199
- We're probably like
your biggest fans.
1660
01:15:04,232 --> 01:15:06,167
- Yeah, we've seen like
everything you've done.
1661
01:15:06,200 --> 01:15:09,037
- Your work in Who's the
Boss, that was amazing.
1662
01:15:09,070 --> 01:15:10,505
It made me cry.
- You want to know something?
1663
01:15:10,538 --> 01:15:14,276
Tony Danza was the most
incredible guy to work for.
1664
01:15:14,309 --> 01:15:15,443
- Yeah, I bet he was.
1665
01:15:15,476 --> 01:15:16,911
- That was fabulous.
1666
01:15:16,945 --> 01:15:19,714
- Hey, like, this is total
long shot, but are you
1667
01:15:19,747 --> 01:15:21,416
free next week?
1668
01:15:21,449 --> 01:15:23,951
Are you free?
- I might be, why?
1669
01:15:23,985 --> 01:15:25,320
What have you got
up your sleeve?
1670
01:15:25,353 --> 01:15:27,556
- Well, we're writers,
we're from Australia.
1671
01:15:27,589 --> 01:15:29,357
- We've got a new play
that's opening the
1672
01:15:29,390 --> 01:15:31,960
New York Festival, we've
got about four minutes
1673
01:15:31,993 --> 01:15:33,828
to find a lead actor
or else we're gonna be
1674
01:15:33,861 --> 01:15:35,530
shipped back to Australia.
- With the bill for
1675
01:15:35,563 --> 01:15:38,767
the festival's losses.
- OK, and what do you
1676
01:15:38,800 --> 01:15:39,834
want me to do, then?
1677
01:15:39,867 --> 01:15:41,002
- Have a read.
1678
01:15:41,035 --> 01:15:42,103
Do you want to
look at the script?
1679
01:15:42,136 --> 01:15:43,104
- Say what?
- Can you have a look
1680
01:15:43,137 --> 01:15:43,905
at the script?
- Yeah, sure,
1681
01:15:43,938 --> 01:15:45,373
let me look at it.
1682
01:15:45,406 --> 01:15:46,608
- Yeah, but like you only
have to do the opening
1683
01:15:46,641 --> 01:15:48,076
and closing monologue.
- But it's not like
1684
01:15:48,109 --> 01:15:49,311
an audition or anything, I
mean, you're Neville McBebee,
1685
01:15:49,344 --> 01:15:50,679
your work in Cheers and
Family Ties is just--
1686
01:15:50,712 --> 01:15:52,113
- I cried in that,
too, by the way.
1687
01:15:52,146 --> 01:15:54,416
- When Virtue left you
in Days of Our Lives.
1688
01:15:54,449 --> 01:15:56,951
- Yeah, what do you
want me to read?
1689
01:15:56,985 --> 01:15:58,987
- Page 96.
- OK.
1690
01:15:59,020 --> 01:16:02,257
You want to give me a
little synopsis on this?
1691
01:16:02,290 --> 01:16:04,926
- So, like, your boyfriend's
been hit by a car,
1692
01:16:04,959 --> 01:16:07,295
he's in hospital, he's
probably gonna die,
1693
01:16:07,328 --> 01:16:09,264
the family won't
let you see him,
1694
01:16:09,297 --> 01:16:11,665
and the speech there,
it's to the father.
1695
01:16:11,699 --> 01:16:13,067
So just from.
1696
01:16:13,101 --> 01:16:13,936
- OK.
1697
01:16:15,336 --> 01:16:17,472
He might not last the
night, and you guys got me
1698
01:16:17,505 --> 01:16:19,207
waiting outside like a dog.
1699
01:16:19,240 --> 01:16:21,242
I get it, you guys
don't want me here.
1700
01:16:21,275 --> 01:16:23,478
But he's the most important
person in my life.
1701
01:16:23,511 --> 01:16:25,513
I felt that the
moment I met him.
1702
01:16:25,546 --> 01:16:27,482
When the Tigers won,
I thought he was gonna
1703
01:16:27,515 --> 01:16:28,984
punch me in the face.
1704
01:16:29,017 --> 01:16:30,919
But instead he looked at
me with the most beautiful
1705
01:16:30,952 --> 01:16:33,488
softness in his eyes,
offered me a beer,
1706
01:16:33,521 --> 01:16:35,056
and shook my hand.
1707
01:16:35,089 --> 01:16:37,092
Neither one of us
choose to be this,
1708
01:16:37,125 --> 01:16:38,960
but we did choose each other.
1709
01:16:38,993 --> 01:16:40,295
You can't keep me away.
1710
01:16:40,328 --> 01:16:42,497
I have to see him, please.
1711
01:16:44,165 --> 01:16:45,500
- That was mind blowing.
1712
01:16:45,533 --> 01:16:46,935
That was amazing.
1713
01:16:48,236 --> 01:16:50,205
- So, when do you
want to start now?
1714
01:16:50,238 --> 01:16:51,640
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
1715
01:16:51,673 --> 01:16:54,608
You know what, I can't
rehearse because I got
1716
01:16:54,642 --> 01:16:57,212
a guest role on Big Bang Theory.
1717
01:16:57,245 --> 01:16:59,014
- That's OK, that was awesome.
1718
01:16:59,047 --> 01:17:00,848
- You know what,
we'll make it work.
1719
01:17:00,882 --> 01:17:02,718
- Can I just ask, why?
1720
01:17:04,452 --> 01:17:07,355
- Why, because when I
was a kid, just like
1721
01:17:07,388 --> 01:17:11,425
you guys, I come from
Queens, I had a big dream,
1722
01:17:11,459 --> 01:17:14,062
and you guys remind me of that.
1723
01:17:15,196 --> 01:17:18,867
Plus I'll get some props
playing a fruitcake.
1724
01:17:19,834 --> 01:17:22,571
(dramatic music)
1725
01:17:27,175 --> 01:17:28,943
- Friend requested
Beth Bernstein.
1726
01:17:28,976 --> 01:17:30,178
- Oh yeah?
1727
01:17:30,211 --> 01:17:31,446
Did she accept?
- She has six kids
1728
01:17:31,479 --> 01:17:34,082
and about 60 extra pounds.
- Oh.
1729
01:17:35,383 --> 01:17:37,952
I told Tiff.
- About the warts?
1730
01:17:37,985 --> 01:17:38,920
How?
- Text.
1731
01:17:40,722 --> 01:17:43,791
Neville fucking McBebee.
- Killing it.
1732
01:17:44,726 --> 01:17:46,061
- The Bebenator.
1733
01:17:51,599 --> 01:17:53,935
- You're right, you know.
- About what?
1734
01:17:53,968 --> 01:17:54,803
- Rocky.
1735
01:17:57,371 --> 01:17:58,940
It is a love story.
1736
01:18:00,007 --> 01:18:02,210
(applause)
1737
01:18:05,646 --> 01:18:07,549
Here we go, eh?
1738
01:18:07,582 --> 01:18:10,318
(dramatic music)
1739
01:18:22,196 --> 01:18:25,033
- [Narrator] So Billy and Me
went on to win many awards,
1740
01:18:25,066 --> 01:18:28,737
with Neville McBebeee
scooping the Tony.
1741
01:18:28,770 --> 01:18:31,206
Gilded Lilies finally
got picked up.
1742
01:18:31,239 --> 01:18:33,241
It was sure to be a hit.
1743
01:18:34,408 --> 01:18:36,177
Deb and Alan got
married and opened
1744
01:18:36,210 --> 01:18:38,546
their own interpretive
dance studio.
1745
01:18:38,579 --> 01:18:41,148
They also taught salsa.
1746
01:18:41,182 --> 01:18:43,785
The Suck franchise ventured
into new territory,
1747
01:18:43,818 --> 01:18:47,789
with the first ever man
on man vampire love story.
1748
01:18:47,822 --> 01:18:50,725
In the end, Jack thanked
the boys for accidentally
1749
01:18:50,758 --> 01:18:54,763
outing him on Twitter,
making him out and proud.
1750
01:18:55,930 --> 01:18:58,500
Mark and Gary won
the Nobel Prize,
1751
01:18:59,901 --> 01:19:02,170
which allowed them to
fulfill a lifelong dream,
1752
01:19:02,203 --> 01:19:04,206
to eat tacos with Obama.
1753
01:19:18,686 --> 01:19:20,922
(melancholy music)
117995
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