All language subtitles for Son Of Zorn S01E06

Hey, Dad, I'm gonna head out.

I just talked to Craig, and he's...

Dad!
Oh! My God!

- Don't die, don't die, Dad!
- Oh, man, you fell for it!

- What?
- You got so sad!

Your voice went up, like,
six octaves.

You sounded like a beautiful woman.

- What the hell is this?
- Alangulon, what you thought

was your disemboweled father
is actually Meka-Zorn.

- What? Meka-Zorn?
- My robot clone.

Yeah, this is the decoy
I'd use back in Zephyria

to distract my enemies,
and then sneak attack them.

I am Zorn.

Yeah, I just got him back.
You know, he was

serving a prison sentence for
a, um, uh, uh, for a friend,

an identical looking friend of mi...

Well, you know what?
Not important.

What is important
is that he's awesome, okay?

Well, like, check this out.
He's also a massage chair.

- Really?
- Yeah, come on, go for it.

Son, you don't have to be scared, okay?
He's a massage chair.

You've been to a Sharper Image before,
haven't you? Let's go.

Yeah, go ahead, take a seat.

Oh!
Burn! He's also a Whoopee cushion.

Oh, come on!
It's still a massage chair, you know.

Get on back here and
sit on your dad's robot.

sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~

I know the terms of our divorce.

I understand what "joint custody" means.

Because he's my dog, Jake!

Okay, what did the counselor
say about harsh words?

I'm not doing this right now.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Where are you going, Zorn?

Oh, sorry. Yeah.
No, I-I-I'm, uh, I'm tired.

And I don't feel like
being here, so, uh,

- I-I might need tomorrow, too.
- Sorry. You used up all your sick days.

Yeah, but I said I'm tired,

- so I guess I'll just, you know...
- Everybody's tired, Zorn.

You know what? Why don't you get
ready to do some real work around here?

That Route Logistics
proposal no one wants to do,

- starting tomorrow, it's yours.
- Hey, quick question. Am I...?

Are you kidding me right now, Todd?
You want to give me lip, too?

Well, guess what?
You and your best friend Zorn

are now both on Route Logistics!

Todd?!
You're saddling me with Todd?

- Cool.
- He's the Todd of our office.

Oh, nice shot!

- I'm gonna kill you, Craig!
- Finally, something we could do together.

Zorn, they're just playing video games.

Yeah, it's called Blood Soldiers.

I play mainly just to
observe human behavior.

Die, die, die, die, die!

That sounds stupid.
Alangulon, come on.

Wouldn't you rather go on a quest
for treasure, but then discover

that the real treasure is the
love between a father and his son?

How's next weekend work for you?

That's when they're releasing
Blood Soldiers: Subterranean Ops

and Craig and I are gonna wait in
line to get limited edition copies.

Yeah, waiting with gamers is fun.

It's like a little community.
I love little communities.

Edie, are you just gonna

sit here and let nerdy-ass
Craig nerdify our son?

Hey, Alangulon, you like games, huh?

Want to play a real man's game?
Keep away.

- Ha-ha!
- Zorn.

- Why would you do that?
- You missed it!

Alangulon's fault. He missed it!

Zorn! You cannot keep
treating Craig like this.

No, that's okay, Edie.

Hey, Alan, you want to
help me fix the controller?

I would love to do that, actually.

Hey, I'm gonna introduce you
to another cool small community.

- What's that?
- Electronic repair community.

Check it out.

I've got a route mapped out
that over the next decade

could save the company... hundreds.

Yeah, good for you. How about
mapping out a way for me to get my son

to stop being in love with my ex-wife's
fianc�, huh... can you do that?

I could try, but, uh...
Wait, what are we talking about?

Yeah. I mean, it's, like,
I moved here for Alangulon,

'cause, you know, I love
his awkward little ass.

And I've been trying to
bond with him for months now,

but who is he closer with?
Craig.

Sounds like you're having
some family issues.

I've been told I'm a good listener.
So...

And then he just
broke the controller.

Can you believe that? And then,
last weekend, Zorn stood in

the backyard watching
Craig do his Tai Chi

workout for an hour
just laughing at him.

Zorn is the worst. I'm so sorry.
Oh, whoops, my napkin fell.

When Zorn's rude to Craig,
he's rude to me.

And every time he smashes
Craig's computer screen, I suffer.

I get it, too.

"Here she goes again"?

- That's from...
- Oh, the waitress.

The waitress. Here she goes again.

She, like, keeps walking
by and never stops.

Yeah, it's like, "Could
we get some pretzel bread?"

They have delicious pretzel
bread here, by the way.

Guys, what's going on?

Okay, I'm just gonna be
really truthful with you.

Yeah.

Ever since Zorn moved to Orange County,

all you ever do is complain about him.

What?!
I talk about other things besides Zorn.

We're your friends, Edie.

If we can't be honest
with you, who will?

"Want to hit up the Farmer's
Market after we ditch Edie?"

Um...

- Just take me off the group texts.
- Yeah, that's what I'll do.

Hey, Dad.

Are you home?
I got your beach chair.

Okay, really funny!
Good joke!

Wherever you're hiding,
that video game thing's

not happening anymore
because it's on a Friday

and I can't skip school,
so here's your chair.

This looks like a job for Zorn.

If that's Meka-Zorn, then...
Dad...

Oh, man!
This time was even better.

- Oh, yeah, really funny.
- Oh, my God.

- You're super hilarious.
- Well, not everyone appreciates

my sense of humor. It's subtle.
You know, it's very British.

It sucks your Mom is being
such a nerd about the rules

so you can't go do your nerd thing. Boy.

Yeah, I was really looking
forward to hanging out in

that line, you know, and
meet other gamers and stuff.

Not that I'm a gamer, but I
just like to play the games,

and hang out with other
people who play games, and...

Oh, you know what?
I should ask Craig

if he can write me a note
so I can skip school.

No, no, no, you don't...

No, no, no, no, no. There's
no need to ask Craig, okay?

I'm your dad.
I'll let you skip school.

Then I'll take you to go wait in line.

You want to go wait in line with me?

It's not gonna be like
a quest, or anything.

- It'll be like a quest!
- Don't you have to work?

Okay. So that's the phone.

This is a computer, uh, oh!
Over there's the copy machine.

And, uh, I think that's it.
I think that's all the things

a robot can have sex with, right?
Yeah, all right.

I'm out of here.
Have fun, buddy.

Ha-ha! The quest to find
the front of the line begins.

Fear not, for I have provided
everything we could possibly need.

- You got water and sunblock and stuff?
- Water? No, come on.

A warrior's thirst can only
be quenched with victory.

Good call on the sunblock, though.
I should've brought some of that.

You know, but I did bring
an invisibility cloak.

Great, well, that's gone forever.

You know, the first 100 people
will get the limited edition.

Which means we need
more intel.

Come on!
I hate that bird.

Tell me, Clawthor, the Taloned One,

what valuable information
have you gathered from the sky?

He assures me that we are 35th in line.

And there's an obese gentleman
on some sort of scooter device.

I'm pretty sure we're,
like, at least 10th.

Oh, this bird is drunk as hell.

Hey, man.
Cool General Steel mask.

Oh, yeah, you like it?

"The perimeter has been breached."

Hey, man, do you mind
holding my spot in line?

I want to hit up the taco truck.

Oh, yeah, go for it.

- Hey, let me know if they got
- All right.

any of that pico de gallo,
'cause I'm a PDG freak.

- Yeah, yeah, for sure.
- Awesome. Thank you.

Ha-ha! Victory!

The first step of the quest is done.

You know, usually, that's
killing the village children,

but this feels good, too.

I don't want to be that guy,

but do you think you could at
least try and help me out here?

- I am Zorn!
- Yeah, yeah.

You're Zorn, big and powerful.

I'm just lowly Todd.
Why help me?

Nobody can defeat the mighty Zorn!

I'm not trying to defeat you.

I'm just trying to do
my job and live my life.

But between you, Linda, my ex-wife,

and my-my overbearing father,
sometimes, I just want to scream!

- See you in Hell, Vulchazor!
- Exactly!

Tell 'em all to go right to...

I know what you're doing.
You want me to open up,

and then you're gonna make
fun of me later. Well...

I am sorry you feel that way.

Tell me more. Nobody is
planning a sneak attack.

Ah, I'm sorry, Zorn.

I guess you just remind
me of my father.

You know, it's nice, you
listening to me for a change.

It's kind of weird, but nice.

Tell you what. How about
I go get more tacks,

you get us some coffee,

and when you come back,
we'll start fresh?

I am Zorn!

And... I am Todd.
And today, that's starting to feel okay.

Oh, my goodness.

- Zorn cracked my screen again.
- Damn it, Zorn!

You know what?
No, I'm done.

- I have nothing more to say.
- What?!

- Edie, you are being weird.
- I'm not complaining about Zorn anymore.

- Vicky and Bridget told me that's all I ever do.
- Like we don't sit

and listen to Bridget complain
about her bulimic sister?

It's, like,
"Okay, yeah, I'm a psychologist,

- but we're here to bowl."
- Well, maybe they're right.

I mean, I've got lots of
non-Zorn things going on.

- Why am I not talking about them?
- Well, you know,

you should be
able to vent to your friends.

- That's what friends do.
- Yeah.

Oh, you know what?
It's working.

- Oh. - Why did Zorn take
so many pictures of himself?

Ugh! Oh, my God.

I got to throw my
toothbrush in the garbage.

Zorn, you're spilling.

I am Zo-Zo-Zo-Zo-Zo
Zo-Zo-Zo-Zo-Zo-Zo...

Oh, my God. Uh...

Uh...

Hi. I got a call.
I guess I'm Zorn's emergency contact.

- I'm his ex-wife.
- Oh, thank God.

Hi. I'm Linda, his boss.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh. Zorn said his boss was a man.

Yeah. He thinks I'm a man.

- It's just easier not to correct him.
- Uh-huh.

Okay.

See?
I think he may be having a seizure.

Or maybe it's, like, some
Zephyrian meditation thing?

- I don't know...
- No, I know what it is.

This isn't Zorn. This is his
piece-of-junk robot decoy.

- What?
- Yeah. Hold on.

- This looks like a job for Zorn.
- Yeah.

No, I get it. He doesn't
want to work with the lamest guy

in the office, so he
brings his robot decoy.

Well, that's just like him.
Take the easy way out, 'cause he's...

You know what?

I mean, it's not so bad.
Who are we to judge?

Well, I'm his boss.
That's who I am to judge.

I'm just so sick of his crap attitude.
I mean, you must be, too, right?

No. I don't have "any"
complaints with Zorn.

My life is so great.
I'm a mom.

And that's very joyful, and I've got
a party planning business.

And people say, "Edie, you're fun.
You're a fun lady."

You need a drink.

Yes.

I got you covered, Jared, okay?
I got you covered like...

Boom!

- And boom and boom!
- What?

- Hey, who's killing us?
- And you're gone.

- Pew! Pew! Pew!
- Why is this happening?

Oh, got 'em all. I win!

- He-yah! Ha, who'd have thunk?
- Come on!

- Video games actually are fun.
- Aah, I'm sorry.

He just doesn't understand anything.

What?! I killed all the
guys in the red berets.

Okay, we are the guys
wearing the red berets.

Well, you're not really dead.

- Hey, guys.
- Craig?

What are you doing here?

Well, I was gonna get you the
limited edition copy of the game.

Look at you. You look red.

- You might need this.
- Oh, yeah!

- This is exactly what I want.
- Aren't you supposed to be in school?

Well, I'm supposed to, uh, be,

- well, you know...
- I'm just kidding.

I guess since we're pretending
that we're soldiers,

we could also pretend that
you're not skipping school, okay?

Hey, Craig, I'm the one that's cool

with him skipping school.
I'm his dad!

Well, you shouldn't be cool
with him skipping school,

because you're his dad.

Ooh, I wish you were
wearing a red beret.

And I would just
pew! pew! pew!

He drives me crazy.
He's so selfish.

And he's rude to my fianc�.

It's like I finally
got my life together,

and suddenly Zorn's back
with all the problems

we had when we were married.

I get it.
My ex is the worst, too.

He slept with my hair stylist
just as she was finally,

- finally starting to understand my curls.
- My ex committed genocide.

- Yeah. No, you got me there.
- You know what?

I'm gonna stop complaining about Zorn.

My friends told me that
it's kind of a... bummer.

- What?!
- Mm-hmm.

You should be able
to bitch about your ex

- whenever you feel like it.
- Really?

- Yes. You can with me.
- Thank you.

As long as you don't
mind me bitching back.

Are you lost, maiden?

Zorn will protect you.

- Oh. Wow! Okay...
- What are you doing?

Just wanted to see what it
was like to punch a bastard.

- Oh.
- Yeah. I'm fine!

- We have one flare left.
- Mm-hmm.

Tunnels filled with methane gas.

So Alan throws the flare, I shoot it.

- We run. Boom!
- Boom!

And then we hear a voice.
"25 kills."

Kill-basa, baby!

I'm sorry, if I could just
interrupt real quick. It's just, Craig,

you said "kills," even
though your kills aren't real.

Mine, on the other hand,
I can still hear them screaming,

"You've got the wrong person, man,"
every time I close my eyes.

Dad, it's just video games, all right?

We're not interested in the
actual psychological toll

- that warfare takes on your mind.
- Oh, no, no, no.

I-I know that. I'm just saying,
Craig's a total fraud,

and the only thing he's ever
killed was this awesome vibe

- we had going before he arrived.
- Okay, look,

Zorn, why do we even have to compare?

I mean, can't we both be
killers in our own way?

Oh, you want to be a killer?

Okay, well, here's something
you can kill for real.

Whoa! Hey, come on.
Those are kettle cooked.

- Hey, Dad, call it off, all right?
- Only if he admits his kills are fake.

Oh! Whoa!

Oh. Alan?
Hey, look behind the water heater.

You'll see my manuscript.
If I die, get it to a publisher.

And then add this bird thing
on at the end. Oh!

- Oh! Oh!
- Clawthor, let go!

All right, come on, Alangulon.
We can still salvage the day.

- What?!
- Oh, okay. So you want to stay with Craig.

That's what you're saying?
Fine. I see how it is.

Oh, yeah, clap away, you nerds.

- Very funny.
- Hey, grab him.

Which one of you put my invisibility
cloak over a parking meter, huh?

Meka-Zorn?
Where are you?

I need you to kill Craig, or
think of another fun activity

- for me and Alangulon.
- Zorn. There you are.

- What are you still doing here?
- I was just working late, you know,

getting our proposal done.
That's what buddies are for, right?

Buddies? Wait, I'm sorry,
you think we're buddies?

- Well, we seemed to... get along earlier.
- Hey, hey, shut up.

I got to ask you something important.
Have you seen...

- have you seen me?
- Um... I'm seeing you now.

Right, right, right, right.
Okay, new plan, new plan.

Uh... I'm gonna go look
around for, um, something.

But if you... see me...

- uh, call me.
- Okay.

Yeah!

- Yeah!
- You're getting it good!

I need more booze.

The more sober I get,
the less beating up

an exact replica of my ex feels okay.

- My turn.
- Your turn.

Hey, Jake!

Why don't you take custody
of this pan?

Oh!
Oh, I'm sor...

I'm sorry.

Hey.
Mmm...

- Linda!
- Hey. What?!

Hey!

Edie!
Don't jump to conclusions.

I was not about to start
having sex with Meka-Zorn.

- What?!
- See, what we have here is...

this is the best of both worlds.
It's, like, all the good...

m-muscle-y parts of a guy

without all the...
stupid guy parts... of a guy.

- I am Zorn!
- Hey, shh...

No, you're not.
That's what makes you good.

- Hey, Mom! Hey, we're back.
- Hey! Alan...

Oh, you are walking
out here at... the right time.

- Sure.
- Oh, hi.

Edie, I didn't know
you had a guest over.

- Hi. I'm Craig.
- Hi. I'm Linda.

I'm Zorn's boss, and Edie's
# new best friend for friggin' life. #

Okay. So you've been drinking.

- Yes.
- Not really that much.

Uh, Zorn, it's good
to see you again after

not having seen you
earlier in the day. Wink, wink.

- Why'd you say "wink, wink"?
- Oh.

I meant to just wink.
I'm sorry.

- Craig, this isn't actually Zorn.
- Oh, right. Okay.

This is Meka-Zorn.
It's Dad's robot decoy.

Why is he here?

Oh, we were just getting
our aggressions out

- on Zorn with him.
- Oh. So being positive

- is working out?
- You know what?

If Bridget and Vicky
don't want me bitching

about Zorn, then they're not
my true friends.

They are not your true friends.
Hi.

- I'm your mom's best friend.
- Hi.

Well, since you're all griping
about Zorn again,

do you mind if I take a whack at it?

- No. Do it.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- It's a good time.

- You should try it out.
- It feels good.

- Get it out.
- This one seems good.

Zorn.

I am Zo-Zo-Zo-Zo-Zo-Zo...

- Oh. Did I do something?
- Oh. I got it.

I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.

She's a pro at this...

Bomb mode activated.

Uh-oh. Did I do something?

Oh, no, this... this is one
of Dad's dumb pranks.

Terminate enemies of Zorn!

I was wrong.
It's a bomb.

Here, Meky-Meky.
Here, Meky-Meky.

Zorn on the horn.

- Hey, Zorn. It's me, Todd.
- And?

Well, you told me to tell
you when I see you again.

- I see you. Hi.
- Hey, Todd, I don't have time to talk

to a big baby man right now.
You dig?

You know what, Zorn?
I don't get you.

I mean, at first you hate me,
then you like me,

and then you hate me again.
I mean,

if we're gonna be friends,
you got to open up to me right now!

Oh, okay.
Well, Todd, if you must know,

I'm worried my son's soon-to-be
stepdad is replacing me!

Why?
You seem like a strong parent!

I guess I'm just scared
we'll never be close,

and I'm gonna lose him!

Well, maybe by forcing him
to be close, you're actually

- pushing him away!
- Yeah? Well, that's very insightful!

If you love your son,
you should be happy for him!

Some people don't have
a male role model in their life!

Your son could have two!

Damm it, Todd, you're right!

Oh, great. Now he and Craig
are blowing up a bounce

house so they can bounce
together like best buds.

What?!
Meka-Zorn's a bomb?

Yeah, well, I hope he blows up that
stupid bounce house.

Oh, wait, hold on a second.
Oh, there was no bounce house.

- Oh, okay. Now I get it.
- Zorn, what the hell

are you talking about?!

Oh, I just don't get it. So we got
the red wires, the blue wires.

- I tried that.
- There's some, like, wet

lizard-tail-looking
things, do we pull that?

I hate Zephyrian technology...
it doesn't make any sense!

Zorn is not here.

Edie is drunk.
I just met Belinda.

So I guess Craig is in charge.

So this is what we're
gonna do, the brave thing.

We're gonna get the hell out of here

and go stand in the front yard.
Let's go!

Fear not!

This looks like a job that would be

good for it to be done by Zorn!

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, man, Meka-Zorn

- makes that seem easy.
- Nobody cares!

- Let's go! Look!
- Hurry up!

All right, let's see what we got here.

- Just got to bypass the old bomb mode.
- It didn't work when I tried it.

- Exiting bomb mode.
- Yes!

- Entering kill mode.
- Zorn!

No! Dad!
What did you do!

Okay, relax, everybody.
That's just a bug in the O.S.

I should have done an
update instead of hitting

"remind me later" every day
for the last two months.

Now all I have to do
is defeat him in combat,

which I've done, like,
a thousand times...

- Zorn! Whoa!
- Ah!

Craig, Alangulon,
listen to me...

it's up to you now to fight Meka-Zorn.

And yes, in battling an evil nemesis,

you will have a bonding
experience that will

bring you even closer.
One of you will die.

Craig, I'm almost
certain it's gonna be you.

But that's only because
I programmed him to do that.

Meka-Zorn!
Hey, Meka-Zorn!

And after that, Alangulon and
I will bond over

your memory
and become stronger,

the father and son that
we were always meant to...

I am Zorn...

- Yeah, we did it!
- Oh! Whoo!

Kill-basa, baby!

- Whoo! Score!
- Oh, come on, now, did you get him wet?

If you get him wet,
it voids the warranty.

Skipping school
to get a video game?

Did you really think that's okay?

And you, Zorn, skipping work to do

something with your kid, or something?

Well, you guys did bring
a bomb into the house.

- Hey, at least I didn't kiss it.
- Hey!

I get it.
We shouldn't have lied.

Is there something maybe we
could do to make it up to you?

- Honestly, Alan?
- Pizza.

- You could get us pizza.
- Hawaiian.

Hey, Dad, you want to go
with me to get a pizza?

- It'd be, like, a quest.
- Really? You mean that?

- Yeah. - Well, in that case,
Clawthor the Taloned One

can show us the way to the pizza parlor.

Oh!

I am not gonna even
pretend that I'm sad that

that bird is dead.
It tried to fly away with me.

Are you lost, maiden?

Zorn will protec-tec-tec-
tec-tec-tect you.

I am Zorn...
Zo-o-o-orn...

See you in hell,
Vul-Vul-Vul-Vul-Vul...

I am... Zorn will protect you.

I am... Zorn.

Nobody is planning a sneak attack.

sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~