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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,930 --> 00:00:03,370 And sweep the mine. And sweep the... 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:05,340 And... 3 00:00:05,370 --> 00:00:06,770 Sweep the mine. 4 00:00:08,610 --> 00:00:10,410 And... 5 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:11,380 Sweep... 6 00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:12,340 Damn it! 7 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:13,850 Uh, excuse me, Todd, do you mind? 8 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:14,810 Some of us are actually 9 00:00:14,850 --> 00:00:16,050 trying to work here. 10 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:17,720 Oh, sorry, my bad. 11 00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:19,580 Wait, you're Zephyrian, right? 12 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,290 You might appreciate this. 13 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:22,990 Hmm. 14 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,020 Excuse me. 15 00:00:25,060 --> 00:00:26,090 I ordered 16 00:00:26,130 --> 00:00:27,430 the chopped salad. 17 00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:28,930 Chopped salad?! 18 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,200 Oh! 19 00:00:34,270 --> 00:00:35,400 What the hell is this? 20 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:36,740 It's this idiotic sitcom called 21 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,340 I'll have what he's stabbing. 22 00:00:38,370 --> 00:00:40,210 One of the main characters is Zephyrian 23 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,910 and he's super violent. 24 00:00:41,940 --> 00:00:43,240 You ruined my salad. 25 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:46,650 All right, 26 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,410 it's kind of funny. 27 00:00:48,450 --> 00:00:49,380 It's not funny. 28 00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:50,820 It's racist, is what it is. 29 00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,020 Is this what you think Zephyrians are like? 30 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:53,990 Not just because of the show. 31 00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:56,450 I mean, you're the scariest, most violent person 32 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:57,760 I've ever met, Zorn. 33 00:00:57,790 --> 00:00:58,960 That's not true. I would never do... 34 00:00:58,990 --> 00:01:00,060 So, this wasn't you, 35 00:01:00,090 --> 00:01:01,990 Rom Rom? Because it looks to me 36 00:01:02,030 --> 00:01:04,500 like this was done with a giant sword. 37 00:01:06,630 --> 00:01:07,670 He just cut 38 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,030 the table in half! 39 00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:12,270 I've seen you do that exact move. 40 00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:25,450 Split the bill?! 41 00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:27,250 Not a problem! 42 00:01:29,060 --> 00:01:30,060 I don't get it. 43 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,390 I mean, it's 2016. 44 00:01:31,430 --> 00:01:33,560 Are people okay with this sort of racism? 45 00:01:33,590 --> 00:01:34,960 I blame the Mexicans. 46 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,960 Yeah, sure, Zephyrians are proud warriors, 47 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,000 but we've also got a rich history of art, 48 00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:40,400 and music and food. 49 00:01:40,430 --> 00:01:42,530 I-I mean, we invented tiny carrots, 50 00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:44,540 which the rest of the world is only now discovering. 51 00:01:44,570 --> 00:01:46,400 Alangulon, here, come here. 52 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,510 You won't believe this. There's a Zephyrian character on TV 53 00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:49,810 who's basically just... Oh, Rom Rom? 54 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,440 No, he's hilarious. Hilarious?! 55 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,350 What are y... no, he's an affront to our culture. 56 00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:54,310 Our culture? 57 00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:56,150 I'm American. 58 00:01:56,180 --> 00:01:57,280 Only from the waist up. 59 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:58,320 Yeah, I mean I'm half-Zephyrian 60 00:01:58,350 --> 00:01:59,850 technically, like by blood. 61 00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:01,750 But culturally? I mean, I wouldn't even kill a spider. 62 00:02:01,790 --> 00:02:03,310 Yeah, I wouldn't kill a spider, either, 63 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,920 because they're reincarnated wizards. 64 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,330 But is that what you think of us, that we're all just 65 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,360 raging, warlike barbarians? 66 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:10,760 Yeah, that's basically, like, the definition of a zephie. 67 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,000 "Zephie"? Oh, my god. 68 00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:13,030 Who taught you that word? 69 00:02:13,070 --> 00:02:14,670 You did. You say it all the time. 70 00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:15,670 I can say it 71 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:16,800 'cause I'm from Zephyria 72 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,100 and-and proud of it, 73 00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:19,500 I might add, unlike you. 74 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,010 You never even wear 75 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,240 the warrior's belt I got you. 76 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:23,740 You think I'm gonna wear that in public? 77 00:02:23,780 --> 00:02:25,280 Uh, yeah, 'cause it's a symbol 78 00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:26,750 of your Zephyrian heritage. Okay? 79 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,660 In fact, you know what? You're wearing it today. 80 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,080 Give me that. Here. 81 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,550 Dad, come on. 82 00:02:31,590 --> 00:02:32,650 You know, he's just gonna 83 00:02:32,690 --> 00:02:33,690 take it off when he gets to school. 84 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,720 Oh, no, no, no. 85 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:35,760 Don't do that, Alangulon. 86 00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:36,720 No, uh, t-t-that thing 87 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:37,790 is enchanted, okay? 88 00:02:37,820 --> 00:02:39,420 If you take it off, you'll turn to stone. 89 00:02:39,430 --> 00:02:41,270 Should've mentioned that before I guess, right? 90 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,700 So, I keep a slice of the free bread, 91 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,200 order the open-face sandwich, boom. 92 00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:47,330 Regular sandwich. 93 00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:49,670 There's no place like gnome! 94 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,000 Oh, new neighbors moved in. 95 00:02:53,670 --> 00:02:57,140 There's no place like gnome! 96 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,410 Dave Ellis and Wendell Knox 97 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,180 playing hacky sack. 98 00:03:04,220 --> 00:03:06,150 If this doesn't say sophomore class, 2017, 99 00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:09,020 I really do not know what does. 100 00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:10,390 I got the, uh, perfect yearbook caption here. 101 00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:12,560 "Just a couple of sack masters 102 00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:14,190 straight blastin' the hack." 103 00:03:14,230 --> 00:03:15,460 Or the sack. 104 00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:17,000 "Two sack masters hackin' the..." 105 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,000 Uh, yeah... 106 00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:20,130 Never mind. 'Sup, losers? 107 00:03:20,170 --> 00:03:21,670 Yo. I'm just kidding. 108 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:22,730 You guys are my only friends. 109 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:24,070 Oh, my god, diversity students 110 00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,140 sitting around each other. 111 00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:26,500 This is what we call 112 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,840 in the yearbook business the money shot. 113 00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:29,070 If you'll excuse me. 114 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:31,840 Dude, she's totally into you. 115 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:32,940 What?! 116 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,350 No, I mean, we're just friends. 117 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,210 Layla? I mean... 118 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,320 Maybe? I... you think, you think-think, 119 00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:40,390 like, we could... Yes, dude, totally. 120 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:41,590 Now get over there and show her 121 00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:43,020 that awesome Zephyrian belt 122 00:03:43,060 --> 00:03:45,060 your dad gave you. Get it out. No, no, stop. 123 00:03:47,390 --> 00:03:49,060 Did something just...? Huh? 124 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,400 What? 125 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:54,200 There's no place like gnome! 126 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,740 There's no place like gnome! 127 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,480 There's no place like gnome! 128 00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:05,580 Hey, uh, you guys 129 00:04:05,610 --> 00:04:06,610 have any herpes cream 130 00:04:06,650 --> 00:04:07,450 I could borrow? 131 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,950 Uh... for a friend? 132 00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:10,250 Oh, yeah, I think we might. 133 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,450 A friend left some over here. 134 00:04:11,490 --> 00:04:12,450 Nice. 135 00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:14,250 So, knocking, 136 00:04:14,290 --> 00:04:15,750 you're over that? That's not happening anymore? 137 00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,190 Aw, come on, Edie. 138 00:04:17,220 --> 00:04:18,900 I've got sensitive knuckles. You know that. 139 00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:20,390 Oh, by the way, I just bumped into your new neighbor. 140 00:04:20,430 --> 00:04:21,830 Really? Friendly guy. 141 00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:22,830 You know, good sense 142 00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:24,400 of humor, too, which I like. 143 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,960 You know, I mean, he keeps telling the same joke 144 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,400 over and over, but it's only getting funnier. 145 00:04:27,430 --> 00:04:29,000 That stupid talking gnome. 146 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:30,600 I was up all night! 147 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,000 Well, get rid of it then. You know, you can smash it 148 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,770 or-or you divorce it, that seems to be 149 00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:35,570 your go to method. No, it's fine. It's under control. 150 00:04:35,610 --> 00:04:37,280 We're gonna slide a polite, 151 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:38,990 but sternly-worded letter under their door. 152 00:04:39,010 --> 00:04:40,010 Letter? 153 00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:41,210 The Edie I used to know 154 00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:42,610 bashed 30 orcs with a war hammer 155 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:44,450 when they threw a party that went past midnight. 156 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,020 Well, I'm not gonna get all zephie-ish on our neighbor. 157 00:04:47,050 --> 00:04:48,950 Whoa, whoa. Easy. "Get zephie-ish"? 158 00:04:48,990 --> 00:04:50,490 What the hell's that supposed to mean? 159 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:51,460 Well, you just said I should... 160 00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:52,960 Wow. You know, I'm curious, 161 00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:54,530 how come people never say they're "getting zephie-ish" 162 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,160 when they're weaving a beautiful tapestry, 163 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,530 or reciting an epic poem, 164 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:58,930 or inventing tiny carrots? 165 00:04:58,970 --> 00:05:00,470 Zorn, I just... 166 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:01,470 I mean, it's no wonder 167 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:02,730 Alangulon only knows 168 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:03,800 about Zephyria through stereotypes. 169 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,140 You've taught him nothing. 170 00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:07,210 Come on, you can't deny that Zephyrians 171 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,910 get what they want through violence. 172 00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:10,340 Zorn, I can relate to the discrimination 173 00:05:10,380 --> 00:05:12,010 that you're referring to. 174 00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:13,310 Craig, you have no idea what I'm talking about. 175 00:05:13,350 --> 00:05:15,250 Edie, it's bad enough I have to deal with this at work, 176 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,480 but my own son? 177 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:17,750 Well, maybe you should educate him. 178 00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:18,980 I find the best way 179 00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:19,980 to do that is through 180 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,190 a culture's cuisine. 181 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,620 That's how I learned all about Ohio. 182 00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:25,790 There's no place like gnome! 183 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,560 I always think he's gonna say "home," 184 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:29,520 and then, uh, you know, 185 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,300 curveball. 186 00:05:34,530 --> 00:05:36,370 "Yearbook photographer 187 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,640 waits for a ride." 188 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,470 Is that the best you got? 189 00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:40,740 I know. That was pathetic, right? Yeah. 190 00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:42,510 Um... 191 00:05:42,540 --> 00:05:45,280 Hey, you know what, I have that, uh, spirit day page write-up 192 00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:47,650 to do still, and you have all the photos. 193 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,980 So, I was just thinking maybe, uh, we could work on it, 194 00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:53,050 go get a cup of coffee? I don't know. Together? 195 00:05:53,090 --> 00:05:54,250 No, I... well, I mean... It's-it's a... 196 00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:55,820 No. ...Bad idea, probably. 197 00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:57,020 Yeah, yeah, uh, yeah. I don't know, it's like... 198 00:05:57,060 --> 00:05:58,290 Coffee sounds... 199 00:05:58,330 --> 00:06:00,290 Yeah, let me just grab my backpack. Cool. 200 00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:02,160 Go do the backpack. Yeah. 201 00:06:06,370 --> 00:06:08,370 Oh, my god, oh, my god. Alangulon, get in the car! 202 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,830 Hurry up, your mom was in an accident. 203 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,870 What? What kind of accident? What... 204 00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:17,710 The accident of not raising you 205 00:06:17,740 --> 00:06:19,710 with an appreciation of Zephyrian culture. 206 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:20,880 Wait, what? Are you serious? 207 00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:22,550 What?! Driver, let's go. 208 00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:24,050 No. 209 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:30,780 You know, all the reviews say 210 00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:32,450 this is the most authentic 211 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,480 Zephyrian experience in orange county. 212 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,580 You know, before you made me picture mom 213 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:37,450 dead in a car crash, I was actually supposed 214 00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:40,060 to meet someone and it was... It's pretty important. 215 00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:41,720 Yeah, well, I mean, it just seemed like 216 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,160 you weren't that into learning about Zephyrian culture, 217 00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:44,230 so I was worried you wouldn't come, 218 00:06:44,260 --> 00:06:45,230 so, you know, I improvised. 219 00:06:45,260 --> 00:06:46,860 Yeah, I was worried that mom was dead. 220 00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:48,930 Oh, boy, were you ever. 221 00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:50,270 Welcome to taste of Zephyria, 222 00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:51,860 where the enemy to be battled is hunger. 223 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,740 I'm Eric, I'll be your server tonight. 224 00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:55,400 Hey, before we get started, Eric, uh, can I ask you 225 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,710 which Zephyrian battle that mural is depicting? 226 00:06:58,740 --> 00:07:00,310 Ooh, is it the battle of orphan's cove? 227 00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:02,710 Oof, we lost a lot of good men to those orphans. 228 00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:04,050 This place used to be a Mexican church. 229 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,280 We inherited that mural 230 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:06,420 and just kind of made it our own. 231 00:07:06,450 --> 00:07:07,370 Uh, how's the stir-fry? 232 00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:08,950 Delicious. It comes with a zesty 233 00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:10,320 Zephyrian sauce. 234 00:07:10,350 --> 00:07:12,020 Oh, you mean goat urine. 235 00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:14,120 I, uh, think we use lemon juice? 236 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,930 Anything to drink? Uh, yeah, 237 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,690 two goat-urine-ades. It... uh, larges. 238 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:19,760 I mean, unless there's free refills, 239 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:20,900 then we'll just get smalls. 240 00:07:20,930 --> 00:07:22,700 No ice in mine, please. No, okay, dad, 241 00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:24,000 it's not on the menu. 242 00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:25,000 Sir, while we may have taken 243 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,030 a few tiny liberties, 244 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:28,540 we are otherwise 100% authentic. 245 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,320 Oh, my god. 246 00:07:41,350 --> 00:07:42,650 What is this? 247 00:07:42,690 --> 00:07:44,650 Come on, come on, let's go. We're going. 248 00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:46,590 We're out of here. Come on! But... 249 00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:48,020 Hey. I'm Edie. 250 00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:49,220 I live next-door 251 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,860 and I just wanted 252 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:52,060 to welcome you, 253 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:53,860 both of you guys, 254 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,500 to the neighborhood. 255 00:07:55,530 --> 00:07:57,200 Well, hey, right back at you, Edie. 256 00:07:57,230 --> 00:07:58,700 Uh, I'm Ron Lee. 257 00:07:58,740 --> 00:08:00,370 And I'm April Lee. 258 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,400 Well, great. 259 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,640 I just wanted to say hi. 260 00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:04,940 Hi. Oh, but, hey, while I'm here, 261 00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:08,240 did you get the letter that my fiance left for you? 262 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,080 The letter... Yes, we did. 263 00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:11,180 Indeed, we did. 264 00:08:11,220 --> 00:08:12,310 We did, and you know what, 265 00:08:12,350 --> 00:08:13,780 we appreciate the feedback, 266 00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:14,880 we do. Mm-hmm. 267 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,620 Yeah. Feedback. 268 00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:18,320 Yeah. So... 269 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,190 Does that mean you're not... 270 00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:22,760 Not gonna take down the gnome. 271 00:08:24,030 --> 00:08:25,030 You don't eat Zephyrian food 272 00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:26,860 with a fork! I should've taken 273 00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:27,830 that fork and scooped out 274 00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:28,830 that dumb waiter's eyes! 275 00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:29,900 Hi, mom. 276 00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:31,370 I'll see you inside, sweetie. 277 00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:34,640 I don't... Eat Zephyrian... 278 00:08:35,870 --> 00:08:37,210 Is that Craig? 279 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:38,710 Him? 280 00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:40,240 That's funny because... 281 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,610 Making fun of my culture! 282 00:08:42,650 --> 00:08:43,810 Oh, you must die. 283 00:08:43,850 --> 00:08:46,620 ...that is my fiance. Yes. 284 00:08:46,650 --> 00:08:47,620 That is Craig. 285 00:08:47,650 --> 00:08:48,850 He's Zephyrian? 286 00:08:48,890 --> 00:08:50,720 Yes. He's Zephyrian. 287 00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:53,220 Wow. Why don't we take the gnome inside? 288 00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:54,720 I think that's a good idea, sweetie. 289 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:55,920 Yeah. 290 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,030 It's right over there. 291 00:08:57,060 --> 00:08:58,030 Yeah, mm-hmm. So nice meeting you. 292 00:08:58,060 --> 00:08:59,390 Yeah, nice to meet you guys. 293 00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:00,360 Such a pleasure. 294 00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:07,440 Oh, Zorn, 295 00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:09,770 will you open these pickles for me, please? 296 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,210 Oh, oh, I get it. 297 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:12,240 Because Zephyrians are big and strong, right? 298 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,310 That's all we're good for, huh? 299 00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:14,410 Lifting stuff and opening up 300 00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:15,610 your people's pickle jars? 301 00:09:15,650 --> 00:09:17,380 You know, never mind. 302 00:09:17,410 --> 00:09:19,180 I just need to put a little elbow grease into it. 303 00:09:19,220 --> 00:09:20,550 Oh, wow, elbow grease? 304 00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:21,850 'Cause Zephyrians have greasy elbows? 305 00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:23,120 Wow. Hey. You went there, huh. 306 00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:25,020 Hey, hey. Hay?! 307 00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:26,560 Oh, because we love eating fried hay? 308 00:09:26,590 --> 00:09:27,660 No! I just... 309 00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:28,920 I wasn't trying to offend you. 310 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,290 Todd, you need to learn 311 00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:31,890 that people aren't stereotypes. For instance, 312 00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:33,660 I'm not gonna have fried hay right now. 313 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:36,160 I am gonna have pickle. 314 00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:42,140 Hi, excuse me. 315 00:09:42,170 --> 00:09:44,170 Can you use your karate to open up this pickle jar? 316 00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:47,010 What's up? 317 00:09:48,310 --> 00:09:50,410 Whoa, who died? "In memoriam"? 318 00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:51,980 Mr. Henderson got hit 319 00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:53,420 with a poison dart. 320 00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:54,750 Oh, that's weird. 321 00:09:54,790 --> 00:09:56,320 Doctors think he's gonna pull through, but... 322 00:09:56,350 --> 00:09:58,520 It's my job to be ready if and when he does not. 323 00:09:58,560 --> 00:09:59,550 Huh. 324 00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:00,960 I mean, comic sans? 325 00:10:00,990 --> 00:10:02,620 Is that really the appropriate font 326 00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,590 to convey a respectful sadness? 327 00:10:04,630 --> 00:10:06,600 Maybe not. 328 00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:09,160 Sounds like the sort of thing we could discuss over coffee. 329 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,930 Or say we will 330 00:10:10,970 --> 00:10:13,670 and then one of us can just disappear. 331 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,640 Layla, oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Okay, my dad, he said 332 00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:16,810 my mom got in an accident 333 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:17,870 just so he could take me to a restaurant. 334 00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:19,310 Hey, can I make it 335 00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:20,380 up to you? 336 00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:21,880 My dad's working late on Friday. 337 00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:23,030 Maybe you want to come over? 338 00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:24,650 And do yearbook stuff? 339 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:27,980 No, I was thinking we could watch a movie or something. 340 00:10:29,290 --> 00:10:31,390 Yeah, okay. Yes, yes. 341 00:10:31,420 --> 00:10:32,820 Yeah, cool. Great. Okay, cool. 342 00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:34,120 Movie. 343 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,120 Movie. 344 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,060 Hey, Ron, just wanted to say thanks 345 00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:39,090 for taking the gnome down. Yeah. 346 00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:42,030 And I have just a few other small requests. 347 00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,470 So, you know how 348 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,030 your oak tree drops its leaves in our yard? 349 00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:47,570 Well, it does, yeah. 350 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,810 I mean, I don't have a problem with it, 351 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,010 but Craig has a huge problem with it. 352 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,550 He got so angry, he crushed a rock with his bare hand. 353 00:10:56,580 --> 00:10:58,680 I did what now? 354 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,180 Uh, he would appreciate that. Take care. 355 00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:03,520 Did you say I crushed a rock? 356 00:11:03,550 --> 00:11:05,920 I was, uh, talking about a dream 357 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,660 in which dream Craig did that. 358 00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:11,630 Ooh, tell me more about this "dream Craig." 359 00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:12,760 Well, apparently no one around here 360 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,330 has appreciation for Zephyrian culture. 361 00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:15,430 Are you kidding? 362 00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:16,800 Oh, oh, sorry, forgot to knock, right? 363 00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:18,370 Okay. Ow, ow, my knuckles. 364 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,270 Ouchie. Ow, ow. 365 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:23,210 Look, Zorn, I'm sorry, 366 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:27,180 but you may just need to be okay with your son 367 00:11:27,210 --> 00:11:29,640 never becoming a barbaric maniac. 368 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,350 I just know that if he could see Zephyria in person, 369 00:11:31,380 --> 00:11:32,850 he'd love it. 370 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,950 But there's no way he's had all his shots. 371 00:11:34,990 --> 00:11:36,280 You know, he hasn't had leprosy, 372 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,190 you got bubonic plague, wizard's beard, 373 00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:39,390 purple fever, bigpox, 374 00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:40,620 cursed treasure allergies, 375 00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:42,020 irritable Basilisk syndrome. 376 00:11:42,060 --> 00:11:45,490 Well, Zorn, if you can't bring Alan to Zephyria, 377 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:49,030 why not bring Zephyria to Alan? 378 00:11:49,070 --> 00:11:51,200 "Bring Zephyria to Alan." Hey, wait a second. 379 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:54,600 Yeah... yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 380 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,240 So... is that it? 381 00:11:56,270 --> 00:11:57,910 Are we good? 382 00:11:57,940 --> 00:11:59,570 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, I'm good. I'm good. 383 00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:02,210 I'm just taking it all in still. 384 00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:03,780 Pretend I'm not here. 385 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,110 Hey so just to warn you, 386 00:12:06,150 --> 00:12:07,950 uh, my dad only has a laserdisc player, 387 00:12:07,990 --> 00:12:09,920 and a movie called Fletch lives. 388 00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:11,820 Aw, I've seen it, like, so many times. 389 00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:13,190 Are you serious? 390 00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:15,120 No, I don't know what that is. 391 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,290 That would be... Fletch lives? 392 00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:19,800 Alangulon! 393 00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:22,060 Welcome to Zephyria! 394 00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:24,670 Do you like it? If not, it was Craig's idea. 395 00:12:27,510 --> 00:12:30,250 Alangulon. Alangulon's concubine. 396 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:33,780 Come with me on a journey to the beautiful, exotic land 397 00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,120 of Zephyria where you will learn 398 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,960 all about... 399 00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:40,990 The greatest damn culture on earth. 400 00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:44,400 You can go, for real. Just take off. 401 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,030 Please. No, please, really, just go. No. 402 00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:47,800 It's cool. It's-it's interesting. 403 00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:49,170 Now Zephyria is known 404 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,670 war, 405 00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:54,270 bloodshed, tyranny and style. 406 00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:58,540 Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. 407 00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:00,040 Okay, we're ready, Frank! 408 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,950 Frank is funky and fabulous, 409 00:13:02,980 --> 00:13:04,950 but still playful, wearing the remains 410 00:13:04,980 --> 00:13:07,620 of several endangered Zephyrian species. 411 00:13:07,650 --> 00:13:09,620 Dad, is that fur? Have you killed a bunch of animals 412 00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:11,920 to make a piece of clothing? Really? 413 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,160 Oh, we're not dead! 414 00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:15,390 We are in terrible agony! 415 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:18,560 See, Alangulon? 416 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:19,660 They're alive. 417 00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:21,300 Nobody had to kill anybody. 418 00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:25,500 Except Frank. Frank just killed them. Okay, uh, 419 00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:26,640 you... seriously you can go, no problem. 420 00:13:26,670 --> 00:13:28,140 Take a... No, no, no, no. 421 00:13:28,170 --> 00:13:30,670 But while looking sexy is obviously important, 422 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,940 many Zephyrians also appreciate... 423 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,350 The arts. Wow. 424 00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:37,510 That's so cool. Who is she? 425 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:38,750 This is Winona, 426 00:13:38,780 --> 00:13:39,820 one of the most brutal 427 00:13:39,850 --> 00:13:41,420 and feared she-warriors. 428 00:13:41,450 --> 00:13:43,520 She looks so real. 429 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,690 It's kind of... 430 00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:47,360 Mesmerizing. 431 00:13:47,390 --> 00:13:50,660 Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Oh, oh, oh, cover your eyes, Layla. 432 00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:52,960 She's coming for your soul. Okay, whoa, whoa, Layla? 433 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,200 Layla's no more. I am Winona. 434 00:13:55,230 --> 00:13:58,500 All who oppose me will be destroyed! 435 00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:03,040 Yeah, no, forgot to mention, our paintings 436 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,540 are actually soul prisons. 437 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,450 What just happened? Huh? 438 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,150 Why are my bones cold? 439 00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:13,520 Uh, because you just had your soul possessed 440 00:14:13,550 --> 00:14:14,920 by an evil spirit. 441 00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:16,150 Uh, your dad hit that, by the way. 442 00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:18,320 Before and after spectral transformation. 443 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,390 Okay, I think we've all learned a lot about Zephyria. 444 00:14:20,430 --> 00:14:22,130 I know I've got enough for one day here. 445 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,230 Let's-let's-let's head on out. 446 00:14:24,260 --> 00:14:25,700 You can't leave yet. 447 00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:27,600 The night's about to hit 448 00:14:27,630 --> 00:14:29,030 a "high note." 449 00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:31,270 Is that made of throats? That? 450 00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:32,770 That's... of course not, not made... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 451 00:14:32,810 --> 00:14:34,670 Sure is. All human throats too. 452 00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:36,210 I mean, you consider children human, right? 453 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:37,270 Yeah. Yeah, of course you do. 454 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,480 No, yup, all human. 455 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,550 Oh, that doesn't sound right. 456 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,620 Oh! Aw! 457 00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:47,720 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 458 00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:48,720 Dad, you're so embarrassing! 459 00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:50,920 Whoa, whoa, hey, calm down, buddy. 460 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,260 Calm down? Calm do... you just hit my friend in the face 461 00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:55,160 with a human tongue! 462 00:14:55,190 --> 00:14:56,560 I hate Zephyria. 463 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,400 I'd rather live in Florida. 464 00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:00,230 Take that back. So... 465 00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:01,830 I'm gonna go. 466 00:15:01,870 --> 00:15:03,130 Thank you 467 00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:05,170 for all the new ideas about clothes, 468 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:09,740 and art and... thanks. 469 00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:15,710 Hey, uh, hey, I'm sorry, but that was like a total nightmare. 470 00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:17,950 Yeah, three of the things I saw today 471 00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:19,680 were from actual nightmares I've had. 472 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,850 But honestly, I thought it was really sweet 473 00:15:21,890 --> 00:15:24,120 the way your dad put the whole thing together for you. 474 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,660 That was sweet? My dad's culture's so weird. 475 00:15:26,690 --> 00:15:28,160 It really only got weird for me 476 00:15:28,190 --> 00:15:29,990 after you started yelling at him. 477 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,700 Um... 478 00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:39,970 Layla. 479 00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:40,840 Layla! 480 00:15:40,870 --> 00:15:43,540 Layla! Layla! 481 00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:45,440 So how was your "Zephyria night"? 482 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,410 Horrible. No, Alangulon hated it. 483 00:15:47,450 --> 00:15:50,580 Well, I want to say I'm surprised. 484 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,120 Ah, hell, I guess I'll just have to accept 485 00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:53,480 that my son hates Zephyria. 486 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,090 Little by little, he'll assimilate, 487 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,090 and my great-great-grandchildren will have no idea 488 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,690 that glorious Zephyrian blood 489 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,290 is running through their veins. 490 00:16:00,330 --> 00:16:02,060 Well, let's not get drama... 491 00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:18,710 There's no place like gnome! 492 00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,410 Oh, hey, the gnome's back! 493 00:16:20,450 --> 00:16:22,370 Well, I've got to admit, that cheers me up a bit. 494 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:23,610 Quite a bit actually. 495 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,880 Shut up Zorn! 496 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,850 Did you see the neighbors' yard? 497 00:16:26,890 --> 00:16:29,050 Lawnapalooza, right? 498 00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:31,790 Which is so weird, since we had such a nice talk yesterday. 499 00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:35,530 Wait, what? Oh, yeah, I ran into Ron and April at the mailbox, 500 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,030 and I thanked them for being so responsive to my letter. 501 00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:39,930 Oh, and get this. 502 00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:42,330 They thought Zorn was your fiance. 503 00:16:42,370 --> 00:16:44,470 Really? 504 00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:46,900 I know, right? 505 00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:48,640 Anyways, I cleared it all up. 506 00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:55,550 Alan, stop! 507 00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:56,980 What are you doing? 508 00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:58,720 You're gonna turn yourself to stone! 509 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:00,120 Edie, that's a myth. 510 00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:02,350 Alan, masturbation is perfectly normal, 511 00:17:02,390 --> 00:17:03,620 and fun. 512 00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:05,290 What is wrong with Zephyria? 513 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,060 Can't they just make something that holds your pants up? 514 00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,390 Even their belts have to assassinate people? 515 00:17:09,430 --> 00:17:11,860 Look, all Zephyrian culture isn't bad. 516 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,660 Did your dad show you the throat-sicord? 517 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,100 That's cool. 518 00:17:15,130 --> 00:17:17,100 The dead people's throats tied together? 519 00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:18,340 Well, it's actually made of throats of men 520 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:19,440 who died on the battlefield. 521 00:17:19,470 --> 00:17:20,770 It's a great honor. 522 00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:22,310 Uh, what about the child's throat? 523 00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:24,140 They do need a high C. 524 00:17:24,180 --> 00:17:25,710 See, that's what I'm talking about, mom. 525 00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,240 They're all a bunch of violent warriors. 526 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,080 Warriors who are defending their country, 527 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:32,380 their families, people they love. 528 00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:35,090 You could call it violent, or you could call it heroic. 529 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,020 Yeah, your dad is certainly a hero. 530 00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:39,490 Look, he moved halfway around the world, 531 00:17:39,530 --> 00:17:41,990 no friends, no job. 532 00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:45,060 Barely a child's understanding of how the real world works. 533 00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,500 All that, just so he could be closer to you. 534 00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:51,900 Zorn? 535 00:17:53,510 --> 00:17:55,070 Listen, uh, 536 00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:57,940 I feel really bad about those insensitive things I said. 537 00:17:57,980 --> 00:18:00,940 I mean, "hey, hey, hey?" 538 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,950 I knew what I was doing. Yeah, so what? 539 00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:05,020 We like fried hay. Big whoop. But you wouldn't go up 540 00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:06,680 to a Swedish person and say, you know, 541 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,720 "meatball, meatball, meatball." Right? 542 00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,550 Ah, well, maybe you would. I know. 543 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,590 And I'm sorry. 544 00:18:13,630 --> 00:18:16,830 Will you let me make it up to you? 545 00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:20,330 This is supposed to be the most authentic 546 00:18:20,370 --> 00:18:22,670 Zephyrian restaurant in town. 547 00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:27,770 Oh, my god! 548 00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:29,440 Zorn, where are you g... 549 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,310 Hi, there. Let me start you off with some 550 00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:32,980 complimentary fried hay. 551 00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:37,780 Where's Alangulon? 552 00:18:37,820 --> 00:18:39,720 Edie said he was in an accident. Yes, the accident 553 00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:43,490 of not appreciating you teaching me about your culture. 554 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,720 Dad, I-I'm sorry. 555 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,020 I guess I just, you know, 556 00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:48,990 was embarrassed and being an idiot. 557 00:18:49,030 --> 00:18:51,530 And, you know, it's actually really cool 558 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,230 that you spent all that time and work to teach me 559 00:18:53,270 --> 00:18:54,770 about where I came from. 560 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,170 No, no, no, no, no, but I was forcing it on you. 561 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,840 I should be apologizing to you. 562 00:18:59,870 --> 00:19:02,240 Well, I guess we've both got some reconciling to do. 563 00:19:02,270 --> 00:19:03,710 Hey! 564 00:19:03,740 --> 00:19:06,910 Are you doing the dance of reconciliation! 565 00:19:06,950 --> 00:19:09,480 Oh, no, not quite. 566 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,380 No, that's-that's actually the dance of perpetual virginity. 567 00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:14,790 But you are nailing it, son! 568 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,220 Okay, now that we've got 569 00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:17,550 all the little rocks 570 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,560 between you and the belt, it'll think you 571 00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:21,360 have turned to stone, then we can take it off, okay? 572 00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:23,930 Here we go. One, two, three! 573 00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:27,330 Wow. 574 00:19:27,370 --> 00:19:28,770 Well, too bad that belt's enchanted, otherwise, you know, 575 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,070 I might wear it... sometimes. 576 00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:33,270 Wait, you want a Zephyrian belt? I'll make you one. 577 00:19:33,310 --> 00:19:34,740 Hey Craig, give me your belt. 578 00:19:34,770 --> 00:19:37,340 In your dreams, big boy. This is woven leather. 579 00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:39,210 Its funny that you think you have a choice here. 580 00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:40,840 Hi, Ron. 581 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,050 Thanks for calling me back. 582 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,080 Hope you don't mind me 583 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,780 calling you at gnome, 584 00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:46,580 which there is no place like. 585 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,590 Okay, I deserve that. 586 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:49,890 I'm sorry I lied to you guys. 587 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,820 I just hope we can move past this. 588 00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:53,360 Hey, I get it. 589 00:19:53,390 --> 00:19:55,460 And I guess we could've behaved 590 00:19:55,490 --> 00:19:57,330 a little better too. 591 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,060 We'll take down all the stuff. 592 00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:02,330 And maybe I'll be willing to talk about the gnome. 593 00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:04,170 Oh, I'd appreciate that. 594 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,270 Honestly? I'm just happy we don't live next to a zephie. 595 00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,170 Excuse me? 596 00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:11,110 I mean, could you imagine 597 00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:13,680 what would happen to our property value? 598 00:20:13,710 --> 00:20:16,580 I mean, zephies are a violent people 599 00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:19,650 with greasy elbows. So... 600 00:20:33,070 --> 00:20:35,470 Hello, old friend. 601 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,600 There's no place like gno... 602 00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:46,140 Captioning sponsored by 20th century fox television 603 00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:49,110 and Toyota. 42135

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