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1
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Thank you.
2
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_
3
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4
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5
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6
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7
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8
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Ah. Ahh.
9
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_
10
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Oh!
11
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_
12
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Hook up for real?
13
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_
14
00:01:38,177 --> 00:01:40,443
Good-bye.
15
00:01:42,763 --> 00:01:44,996
So you've been working out.
16
00:01:44,997 --> 00:01:46,929
Would you just shoot?
17
00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:51,263
Pool is a game of precision
and science, my friend.
18
00:01:51,264 --> 00:01:54,229
It involves intricate
eye-hand coordination,
19
00:01:54,230 --> 00:01:57,396
geometry, specific gravity,
20
00:01:57,397 --> 00:02:01,229
- molecular density...
- It's a fucking ball and stick.
21
00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:03,029
Will you take the shot, Mikey?
22
00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:04,996
I can't, I got to go meet David.
23
00:02:04,997 --> 00:02:06,896
Why doesn't he ever meet you here?
24
00:02:06,897 --> 00:02:10,096
Um, because he doesn't like my friends.
25
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:12,296
I don't like your friends.
26
00:02:12,297 --> 00:02:14,896
What about his friends?
Does he have any?
27
00:02:14,897 --> 00:02:17,430
- Hey, I sunk one.
- Yeah, well, you're stripes.
28
00:02:17,431 --> 00:02:19,029
Yeah, sure he has friends.
29
00:02:19,030 --> 00:02:20,030
Have you ever met any?
30
00:02:20,030 --> 00:02:21,030
Um, no.
31
00:02:21,031 --> 00:02:22,830
Maybe he doesn't want you to.
32
00:02:22,831 --> 00:02:25,029
Hey, there.
33
00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:29,296
Well, at least his
friends are his own age.
34
00:02:29,297 --> 00:02:32,029
What are you doing here?
35
00:02:32,030 --> 00:02:34,129
I thought it was a school night.
36
00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:36,029
- You're here.
- I'm a grown up.
37
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,029
Barely.
38
00:02:38,030 --> 00:02:39,096
Go home.
39
00:02:39,097 --> 00:02:40,997
No.
40
00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:46,029
So what is this, adopt-a-trick?
41
00:02:46,030 --> 00:02:48,296
First, he's a one-night
stand, now, he's moved in.
42
00:02:48,297 --> 00:02:50,996
- It's only temporary.
- Uh-huh, until he grows up?
43
00:02:50,997 --> 00:02:53,996
Until I figure out what to do with him.
44
00:02:53,997 --> 00:02:55,996
Mikey.
45
00:02:55,997 --> 00:02:57,730
Tell the doc we miss him.
46
00:02:57,731 --> 00:02:59,763
- Bye. Bye.
- Bye.
47
00:02:59,764 --> 00:03:01,764
See ya.
48
00:03:04,297 --> 00:03:05,963
That could be him.
49
00:03:05,964 --> 00:03:08,396
- Who?
- Usemyhole27.
50
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,229
Usemyhole27? What does that mean?
51
00:03:10,230 --> 00:03:12,897
Like, 26 other guys have
used his hole before you?
52
00:03:12,898 --> 00:03:15,963
No. He's my cyber-boyfriend.
53
00:03:15,964 --> 00:03:19,030
Swimmer's build, Leo-like smile.
54
00:03:19,031 --> 00:03:22,129
It's the best imaginary sex I ever had,
55
00:03:22,130 --> 00:03:24,763
- but now it's over.
- How come?
56
00:03:24,764 --> 00:03:27,064
- Because he wants to meet me.
- So?
57
00:03:27,065 --> 00:03:30,663
So I'm nothing like my profile, so.
58
00:03:30,664 --> 00:03:35,229
Big, smooth, 6'2", 195
pounds, 4% body fat...
59
00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:37,064
Uncut.
60
00:03:37,065 --> 00:03:38,763
Jesus.
61
00:03:38,764 --> 00:03:41,130
I think I did it with
you just last week.
62
00:03:41,131 --> 00:03:42,596
Ew.
63
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,097
How was I?
64
00:03:45,098 --> 00:03:47,296
Did you ever consider
just telling him the truth?
65
00:03:47,297 --> 00:03:49,663
Uh, what? What, that
I'm a big, nelly bottom
66
00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:52,596
who wishes he were a beefy, brutal top,
67
00:03:52,597 --> 00:03:55,698
and never will be?
68
00:04:01,331 --> 00:04:03,263
Yes, hello. This is Lindsay Petersen.
69
00:04:03,264 --> 00:04:04,697
I need to talk to Dr. Persaud.
70
00:04:04,698 --> 00:04:06,263
- It's about Gus.
- Oh, God.
71
00:04:06,264 --> 00:04:07,596
He's throwing up again.
72
00:04:07,597 --> 00:04:09,030
Shh, shh, shh. It's okay, it's okay.
73
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,064
It's okay. It's okay.
74
00:04:10,065 --> 00:04:11,097
He's burning up, honey.
75
00:04:11,098 --> 00:04:12,296
Our baby's sick and I have to t...
76
00:04:13,266 --> 00:04:14,797
They want us to leave our number
77
00:04:14,798 --> 00:04:15,764
and when she calls in,
they'll give her the message.
78
00:04:15,765 --> 00:04:17,130
Give it to me.
79
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:18,297
Hello, uh, what's your name?
80
00:04:18,298 --> 00:04:21,230
Hi, Carol. This is Melanie Marcus.
81
00:04:21,231 --> 00:04:23,030
Listen, we need to reach Dr. Persaud.
82
00:04:23,031 --> 00:04:24,730
Doesn't she usually leave her pager on?
83
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,897
Okay, great. Then I'd appreciate it
84
00:04:26,898 --> 00:04:28,997
if you'd please contact her
while I wait on the line.
85
00:04:28,998 --> 00:04:31,530
Thank you.
86
00:04:31,531 --> 00:04:33,698
I love you.
87
00:04:34,731 --> 00:04:39,130
Shh, shh, shh.
88
00:04:39,131 --> 00:04:40,530
Hello, Dr. Persaud?
89
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:41,797
Hi, it's Lindsay Petersen.
90
00:04:41,798 --> 00:04:43,697
Yeah, it's Gus. He has a fever, 102,
91
00:04:43,698 --> 00:04:45,596
and he's been throwing up...
92
00:04:45,597 --> 00:04:48,230
Yes, all right. Thank you.
93
00:04:48,231 --> 00:04:49,830
She said we have to go to
the hospital right away.
94
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,763
Okay, okay. Listen, it's
going to be all right.
95
00:04:51,764 --> 00:04:52,830
I'll get the keys, you get his blanky.
96
00:04:52,831 --> 00:04:54,030
Okay.
97
00:04:54,031 --> 00:04:58,297
Brian's home. You mean it?
98
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,165
My mom says "hi."
99
00:05:04,864 --> 00:05:07,030
Brian says "hi" too.
100
00:05:07,031 --> 00:05:09,730
Yeah.
101
00:05:09,731 --> 00:05:13,897
So does Dad ask about me?
102
00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:16,864
Oh, is he still mad?
103
00:05:18,231 --> 00:05:21,564
Can you talk to him?
Make him understand?
104
00:05:24,764 --> 00:05:27,596
No, no, I can't.
105
00:05:27,597 --> 00:05:28,997
I can't come home.
106
00:05:28,998 --> 00:05:31,497
Not if he still feels that way.
107
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,531
Mom? Mom.
108
00:05:34,532 --> 00:05:36,897
I'm going to go.
109
00:05:36,898 --> 00:05:40,697
Give Molly a kiss for me.
110
00:05:40,698 --> 00:05:42,831
Yeah, you too.
111
00:05:49,698 --> 00:05:52,831
You know, it's really
not worth crying about.
112
00:05:56,598 --> 00:06:01,197
I wasn't crying. Just my allergies.
113
00:06:01,198 --> 00:06:04,997
Your father's an asshole
who treats you like shit.
114
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,130
He practically killed me.
115
00:06:07,131 --> 00:06:08,930
I say forget about him.
116
00:06:08,931 --> 00:06:10,564
Yeah, but he's my dad.
117
00:06:10,565 --> 00:06:12,064
I mean, could you
forget about your father?
118
00:06:12,065 --> 00:06:13,930
I already did, a long time ago.
119
00:06:13,931 --> 00:06:15,897
You mean you never
see him or talk to him?
120
00:06:15,898 --> 00:06:17,130
What for?
121
00:06:17,131 --> 00:06:19,431
Just to hang out, be together.
122
00:06:19,432 --> 00:06:22,164
Yeah, just because he
got my mother pregnant
123
00:06:22,165 --> 00:06:25,830
doesn't mean that there's
some special bond between us.
124
00:06:25,831 --> 00:06:29,130
He served his purpose.
That's all he was good for.
125
00:06:29,131 --> 00:06:33,130
I could never feel
that way about my dad.
126
00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,531
Well, then you'll always be hurt.
127
00:06:41,665 --> 00:06:43,097
Hello?
128
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:45,963
Oh, hi.
129
00:06:45,964 --> 00:06:49,531
Yeah, hold on, he's right here.
130
00:06:49,532 --> 00:06:52,665
It's Lindsay. She sounds upset.
131
00:06:53,498 --> 00:06:55,798
Ah!
132
00:06:55,799 --> 00:06:57,731
- Quit it.
- I can't help it.
133
00:06:57,732 --> 00:06:59,798
I see you, I just want to take a bite.
134
00:06:59,799 --> 00:07:01,864
Who called?
135
00:07:01,865 --> 00:07:03,698
Oh, my ex.
136
00:07:03,699 --> 00:07:04,632
Lori?
137
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,664
Yeah, I told her all about you.
138
00:07:06,665 --> 00:07:08,531
- What'd you say?
- I said you were smart,
139
00:07:08,532 --> 00:07:09,963
you were funny, and you were sexy.
140
00:07:09,964 --> 00:07:11,798
I thought you stopped
lying to your wife.
141
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,731
Come on, let's go to bed.
142
00:07:13,732 --> 00:07:15,097
Who are these people?
143
00:07:15,098 --> 00:07:16,997
Which... Let me see.
144
00:07:16,998 --> 00:07:18,664
People in the picture. They look nice.
145
00:07:18,665 --> 00:07:20,764
They look straight.
146
00:07:20,765 --> 00:07:23,097
That's Laura and Steve.
This is on New Year's Eve.
147
00:07:23,098 --> 00:07:24,931
Steve's a urologist,
Laura works at Pitt.
148
00:07:24,932 --> 00:07:26,431
They're really good friends of mind.
149
00:07:26,432 --> 00:07:27,798
So how come I've never met them?
150
00:07:27,799 --> 00:07:30,097
Oh, I don't know. You want to meet them?
151
00:07:30,098 --> 00:07:33,664
I don't know. You want me to meet them?
152
00:07:33,665 --> 00:07:38,364
- What's with you?
- Nothing. I was just...
153
00:07:38,365 --> 00:07:39,731
I was driving over here tonight
154
00:07:39,732 --> 00:07:41,031
with my bag of stuff for tomorrow,
155
00:07:41,032 --> 00:07:42,998
and I just started to feel
like somebody's little secret.
156
00:07:42,999 --> 00:07:45,564
You know, it's always
just the two of us.
157
00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:47,564
Well, I have to admit, I
kind of enjoy it that way,
158
00:07:47,565 --> 00:07:49,464
just having you all to myself,
159
00:07:49,465 --> 00:07:52,331
but if you want to be
with other people...
160
00:07:52,332 --> 00:07:54,764
No, it's okay. I'm sor...
161
00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:56,331
I never should have brought it up.
162
00:07:56,332 --> 00:07:57,631
No, I'm glad you did.
163
00:07:57,632 --> 00:08:01,564
Hey, what are you doing Saturday night?
164
00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:02,831
Saturday night?
165
00:08:02,832 --> 00:08:03,964
Yeah, we'll have a dinner party.
166
00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:05,464
I'll introduce you to the gang.
167
00:08:05,465 --> 00:08:07,564
The gang? No, that's okay.
168
00:08:07,565 --> 00:08:09,331
No, it's a great idea, you know?
169
00:08:09,332 --> 00:08:13,465
I want them to know you,
and you should know them.
170
00:08:15,332 --> 00:08:18,564
Ah!
171
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:22,297
_
172
00:08:23,832 --> 00:08:26,931
Hey.
173
00:08:26,932 --> 00:08:28,964
What the fuck are you doing?
174
00:08:28,965 --> 00:08:31,364
Who the hell are you?
How... how'd you get in here?
175
00:08:31,365 --> 00:08:32,698
Hey, I asked a question first.
176
00:08:32,699 --> 00:08:34,497
What the fuck do you think
you're doing deleting me?
177
00:08:34,498 --> 00:08:36,564
Don't you recognize me?
178
00:08:36,565 --> 00:08:39,964
I'm "pitts9x6."
179
00:08:39,965 --> 00:08:41,964
How do you know my secret screen name?
180
00:08:41,965 --> 00:08:43,998
Well, dude, I am your screen name.
181
00:08:43,999 --> 00:08:46,964
What are you talking about?
Did... did Ted put you up to this?
182
00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:51,599
Profile: Big, smooth, 6'2", 195 pounds,
183
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:56,632
4% body fat, uncut.
184
00:08:57,565 --> 00:09:00,631
Okay. Okay, I get it.
185
00:09:00,632 --> 00:09:02,431
Michael and Ted read my profile,
186
00:09:02,432 --> 00:09:05,265
and they paid you to come
here and mess with my head.
187
00:09:05,266 --> 00:09:06,864
Well, my grip on reality
188
00:09:06,865 --> 00:09:09,597
is a little tighter than
everyone seems to think.
189
00:09:09,598 --> 00:09:11,831
Okay? Pitts doesn't exist.
190
00:09:11,832 --> 00:09:15,598
He's a fantasy, a figment
of my overactive imaginat...
191
00:09:17,565 --> 00:09:20,332
Oh. Oh, my God.
192
00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:22,964
It's true. You really are...
193
00:09:22,965 --> 00:09:26,432
9x6, thanks to you.
194
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,664
Yeah.
195
00:09:28,665 --> 00:09:30,332
Okay, I... I must be dreaming.
196
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:32,931
- I don't...
- These are some hot tapes.
197
00:09:32,932 --> 00:09:36,432
Dawson's Crack. Mind if I pop it in?
198
00:09:36,433 --> 00:09:39,597
Oh, my God, I've completely cracked.
199
00:09:39,598 --> 00:09:40,964
I'm talking to my screen name.
200
00:09:40,965 --> 00:09:43,498
Okay, w... what is going
on? What are you doing here?
201
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,432
Well, I almost wasn't. You
were about to delete me.
202
00:09:45,433 --> 00:09:47,564
Oh. Well, I'm very sorry,
203
00:09:47,565 --> 00:09:50,465
but I'm... I'm through with you.
204
00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:51,964
But I'm a hottie.
Everybody online wants me.
205
00:09:51,965 --> 00:09:54,631
Exactly. They want you, the fantasy.
206
00:09:54,632 --> 00:09:56,698
Not me, the real person. It's pathetic,
207
00:09:56,699 --> 00:09:58,698
my screen name has more fun that I do.
208
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:03,598
Hey, you said you wish you
could be a beefy, brutal top
209
00:10:03,599 --> 00:10:06,265
instead of a big, nelly bottom.
210
00:10:06,266 --> 00:10:10,432
Well, if I could teach
you how to be like me,
211
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:13,864
will you let me live?
212
00:10:13,865 --> 00:10:15,565
But I'm not like you.
213
00:10:15,566 --> 00:10:17,664
Well...
214
00:10:17,665 --> 00:10:19,465
I came from somewhere, didn't I?
215
00:10:22,433 --> 00:10:25,632
Okay, here we go.
216
00:10:25,633 --> 00:10:29,198
Coming through. Look out, please.
217
00:10:29,199 --> 00:10:30,231
What are his symptoms?
218
00:10:30,232 --> 00:10:32,432
Uh, diarrhea, vomiting, fever.
219
00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:34,432
- Do you know how high?
- Just under 102
220
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:35,498
- the last time we checked.
- Yeah, we're...
221
00:10:35,499 --> 00:10:36,731
We're worried about dehydration.
222
00:10:36,732 --> 00:10:39,532
All right, let's get him checked out.
223
00:10:39,533 --> 00:10:41,598
Which one of you is the mother?
224
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,532
- Well...
- Well, I'm the birth mother.
225
00:10:43,533 --> 00:10:45,165
Why don't you go back with him then?
226
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,432
- And you can wait here.
- Actually,
227
00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:48,532
we're raising him
together. We're a couple.
228
00:10:48,533 --> 00:10:51,665
Well, in that case, do
you have adoption papers?
229
00:10:51,666 --> 00:10:53,532
- Adoption?
- He means for me.
230
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:54,665
No, not yet. We plan to file for...
231
00:10:54,666 --> 00:10:56,265
I'm sorry, but we can only allow
232
00:10:56,266 --> 00:10:58,165
the child's legal
guardians to go with him.
233
00:10:58,166 --> 00:11:00,864
Fine. Stop talking.
Just take him, now, okay?
234
00:11:00,865 --> 00:11:02,598
I'll run back out the
minute I know anything.
235
00:11:02,599 --> 00:11:04,766
- Okay.
- I love you.
236
00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:25,865
Excuse me, I need to go back there.
237
00:11:25,866 --> 00:11:27,865
You see, my partner
forgot our baby's blanket
238
00:11:27,866 --> 00:11:29,532
and I don't want him
to be any more upset...
239
00:11:29,533 --> 00:11:33,131
Look, Miss... or whatever you are...
240
00:11:33,132 --> 00:11:35,265
I believe it was
already explained to you
241
00:11:35,266 --> 00:11:37,665
that only the child's
parents or legal guardians
242
00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:40,565
are permitted to be with him.
243
00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:44,565
And I believe it needs
to be explained to you
244
00:11:44,566 --> 00:11:46,598
that I'm the one who
loves him, and feeds him,
245
00:11:46,599 --> 00:11:47,632
and walks him, and plays with him,
246
00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:48,765
and changes him, and cleans up his shit,
247
00:11:48,766 --> 00:11:50,799
and wipes up his vomit,
and pays the bills,
248
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,231
and... You listen to me.
249
00:11:53,232 --> 00:11:55,332
I stay up half the night worrying
250
00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:57,865
that he will grow up
to be happy and healthy
251
00:11:57,866 --> 00:12:00,699
and loved, so don't you dare tell me
252
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,365
I have no right to be with him,
253
00:12:02,366 --> 00:12:06,131
you officious, homophobic cunt.
254
00:12:06,132 --> 00:12:07,665
What's going on? How is he?
255
00:12:07,666 --> 00:12:10,398
I don't... I don't know.
They won't let me back there.
256
00:12:10,399 --> 00:12:12,498
- Why?
- I'm... I'm not legal,
257
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:15,099
I'm not anything, apparently,
except going crazy.
258
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,365
What is that, your fucking bureaucracy?
259
00:12:17,366 --> 00:12:21,198
Excuse me, this is the father.
260
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,131
- I'll take you back.
- Well, she's going too.
261
00:12:23,132 --> 00:12:25,231
No, don't worry, just go, and...
262
00:12:25,232 --> 00:12:28,199
Uh, give this to him.
263
00:12:53,466 --> 00:12:55,632
Not even six months old
264
00:12:55,633 --> 00:12:58,565
and already my kid's a drama queen.
265
00:12:58,566 --> 00:13:00,765
Well, at least you know he's yours.
266
00:13:00,766 --> 00:13:03,332
The good news is he's all right.
267
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:05,132
Yeah, only I had to go
to the hospital myself
268
00:13:05,133 --> 00:13:07,398
because someone left
their cell phone off.
269
00:13:07,399 --> 00:13:10,032
I had to deal with my own crisis.
270
00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:11,266
David's throwing a dinner party,
271
00:13:11,267 --> 00:13:13,598
us and two other couples.
One of them's straight.
272
00:13:13,599 --> 00:13:15,066
He eats with straight people?
273
00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:18,299
Ick. You never know where
their hands have been.
274
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:21,232
So what's the problem?
275
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,465
The problem is, what'll I talk about?
276
00:13:23,466 --> 00:13:25,333
- What do we talk about?
- What we've done,
277
00:13:25,334 --> 00:13:28,232
who we've done, who we want to do.
278
00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:30,066
These people aren't like us.
279
00:13:30,067 --> 00:13:32,999
They're professors
and doctors and things.
280
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,765
We're things.
281
00:13:34,766 --> 00:13:38,632
Ad execs, accountants.
282
00:13:38,633 --> 00:13:41,732
Couturiers to disco trash.
283
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:44,066
The thing is, after two minutes
284
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:46,032
it'll be painfully obvious
that I don't fit in,
285
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,665
and David'll dump me on the spot.
286
00:13:47,666 --> 00:13:49,565
Then we better get busy.
287
00:13:49,566 --> 00:13:50,765
Right, Professor Higgins?
288
00:13:50,766 --> 00:13:52,665
Right, pickering.
289
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:56,366
We'll turn you from a simple
flower girl into a lady.
290
00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:59,599
Speaking of ladies, get to work.
291
00:14:01,267 --> 00:14:04,032
What the fuck are you doing here?
292
00:14:04,033 --> 00:14:06,632
Turning you from a
candy-ass into a stud.
293
00:14:06,633 --> 00:14:08,232
Now, let's see you spread 'em.
294
00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:10,233
- Now!
- All right.
295
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:20,132
What's with G.I. Jane?
296
00:14:20,133 --> 00:14:21,166
If he's not careful,
297
00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:22,566
he might actually break a sweat.
298
00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:25,965
Or a nail.
299
00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:32,466
He's down, for a while, anyway.
300
00:14:32,467 --> 00:14:35,600
That's good. Mm.
301
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:42,399
Hon, what are you thinking about?
302
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,166
Hebrew school.
303
00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:49,200
He's still a little
young, don't you think?
304
00:14:52,233 --> 00:14:55,232
No, when I was a kid in Hebrew school,
305
00:14:55,233 --> 00:14:58,666
Rabbi Protesh used to say to us,
306
00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:01,099
"if you ever forget you're a Jew,
307
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,499
a non-Jew will remind you."
308
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:07,132
I always wondered what he meant,
309
00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:10,566
until Emily Meredith called
me a "Jap" on the playground.
310
00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:13,633
Oh, that little bitch.
311
00:15:13,634 --> 00:15:16,899
Well, then I knew what he meant.
312
00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:19,099
I had forgotten I was different,
313
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:23,366
until I was so thoughtfully reminded.
314
00:15:23,367 --> 00:15:25,499
Same thing happened at
the hospital last night.
315
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:28,633
- Well, they had no right.
- Yeah, they did.
316
00:15:28,634 --> 00:15:32,399
They had every right,
but we have a right too,
317
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,066
to protect ourselves.
318
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,099
How?
319
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:38,900
We need to talk to Brian.
320
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,533
Miss Manners says,
321
00:15:45,534 --> 00:15:48,299
"always be sure to
compliment the hostess."
322
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:49,999
I am the hostess.
323
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,466
And you look lovely.
324
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,599
Okay.
325
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,599
All right, now. Uh,
which fork's for salad?
326
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,366
Go from the outside in.
327
00:16:00,367 --> 00:16:02,999
Hey, I thought you were
studying for your calculus exam.
328
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,433
I'm taking a break.
329
00:16:04,434 --> 00:16:06,232
Well, get back to work.
330
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:08,066
Now, where's the bread plate?
331
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,099
On your left.
332
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:13,067
- Water glass?
- On your right.
333
00:16:15,067 --> 00:16:18,232
Well, as long as I only
have salad, bread, and water,
334
00:16:18,233 --> 00:16:20,232
I'm all set.
335
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:23,166
All right, now, topics of conversation.
336
00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:25,333
Uh, stay clear of religion
because you never know
337
00:16:25,334 --> 00:16:26,499
where anybody stands.
338
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,866
Avoid politics like the plague,
339
00:16:28,867 --> 00:16:31,533
and, uh, you should probably
340
00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:33,833
steer clear of the economy as well.
341
00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:35,833
Well, so far he should have no trouble.
342
00:16:35,834 --> 00:16:37,499
Mikey's never talked
about religion, politics,
343
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,067
or the market in his life.
344
00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:40,466
Well, what do I talk about?
345
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,100
Movies are always a safe bet
346
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:45,101
if you want to appear current
without sounding controversial.
347
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,100
I saw X-Men six times.
348
00:16:49,101 --> 00:16:51,366
Yeah, uh,
349
00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:54,199
somehow I suspect that won't
"wow" the art house crowd.
350
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,433
Look, you're making too
big a deal out of this.
351
00:16:56,434 --> 00:16:59,500
You show up, you talk, you eat.
352
00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:03,933
But these are David's best friends.
353
00:17:03,934 --> 00:17:05,232
You know, I want to
make a good impression.
354
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,499
And you will,
355
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,033
you just have to remember
a few simple rules.
356
00:17:08,034 --> 00:17:09,833
- Utensils, outside in.
- Don't talk about
357
00:17:09,834 --> 00:17:11,200
- anything that matters.
- Matters.
358
00:17:11,201 --> 00:17:14,033
Don't talk with your mouth full.
359
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,933
Oh, what if I burp?
360
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:17,167
Just cover your mouth with your napkin
361
00:17:17,168 --> 00:17:19,133
and say "excuse me" to
no one in particular.
362
00:17:19,134 --> 00:17:21,167
Just be yourself, you won't
have anything to worry about.
363
00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:25,133
I just know somehow, some way,
364
00:17:25,134 --> 00:17:27,299
I am going to fuck up.
365
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:29,366
Well see, that's what he means.
366
00:17:29,367 --> 00:17:31,299
Be yourself.
367
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,333
Oh, that looks good.
368
00:17:32,334 --> 00:17:33,499
That looks good.
369
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,366
- Put that right there.
- Let me talk to him.
370
00:17:35,367 --> 00:17:37,300
- You know how you set him off.
- Oh, I promise,
371
00:17:37,301 --> 00:17:40,434
I won't say a word.
I won't say anything.
372
00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:45,466
He seems fine to me.
373
00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:48,300
- Aren't you, Sonny Boy?
- Thank God, after last night.
374
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,766
Yesterday, life and death,
today, tea and cookies.
375
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:52,334
They're good.
376
00:17:52,335 --> 00:17:54,433
It's a mix.
377
00:17:57,901 --> 00:17:59,900
But it makes you realize
how important it is
378
00:17:59,901 --> 00:18:03,033
to be prepared.
379
00:18:03,034 --> 00:18:04,367
For what?
380
00:18:04,368 --> 00:18:07,133
For like what happened with that nurse.
381
00:18:07,134 --> 00:18:09,334
God, she was a real bitch.
382
00:18:09,335 --> 00:18:12,000
Thank you.
383
00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:13,866
Justin, would you like some ice cream?
384
00:18:13,867 --> 00:18:16,801
No, I'm okay.
385
00:18:18,368 --> 00:18:19,467
What are you getting at?
386
00:18:19,468 --> 00:18:22,000
Well, it's something we talked about
387
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:26,100
before Gus was born, only we
never got around to doing it.
388
00:18:26,101 --> 00:18:30,267
Melanie would like to petition
for second-parent adoption.
389
00:18:30,268 --> 00:18:31,467
What's that?
390
00:18:31,468 --> 00:18:34,033
Well, I'm not Gus' biological parent,
391
00:18:34,034 --> 00:18:36,833
like Lindsay or Brian,
392
00:18:36,834 --> 00:18:39,900
so I need to file papers to
make me his legal guardian.
393
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,200
Only Melanie can't get the process going
394
00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:46,134
until you sign papers agreeing
to give up your parental rights.
395
00:18:47,134 --> 00:18:49,733
No way. He's Gus's dad.
396
00:18:49,734 --> 00:18:51,933
No one's denying that.
397
00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:54,966
You know you'll always
be part of his life,
398
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,867
in the same way we'll always
be a part of each other's.
399
00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:04,867
You don't have to convince me.
400
00:19:04,868 --> 00:19:06,267
Just tell me where to sign.
401
00:19:06,268 --> 00:19:07,866
What?
402
00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:09,167
- Oh.
- You mean you're actually
403
00:19:09,168 --> 00:19:10,766
- gonna do it?
- Justin.
404
00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:13,300
He'll be better off.
What do I have to do?
405
00:19:13,301 --> 00:19:15,900
Sign some papers. I'll
have them drawn up.
406
00:19:15,901 --> 00:19:17,966
- You can't.
- Would you stay out of this?
407
00:19:17,967 --> 00:19:19,800
You're his father.
408
00:19:19,801 --> 00:19:23,233
And I'm teaching him a lesson:
409
00:19:23,234 --> 00:19:27,368
Don't count on your old man.
410
00:19:55,835 --> 00:19:58,167
What are you doing with your arm?
411
00:19:58,168 --> 00:20:00,000
I call it the "Praise Jesus."
412
00:20:00,001 --> 00:20:02,866
Looks like you're hailing a cab.
413
00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:05,267
I call it the worst
dancing I've ever seen.
414
00:20:05,268 --> 00:20:06,734
Who asked you?
415
00:20:06,735 --> 00:20:09,900
Don't get sore. I'm just kidding.
416
00:20:09,901 --> 00:20:11,334
See anyone hot?
417
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,167
I haven't seen so many
dogs since 101 Dalmatians.
418
00:20:14,168 --> 00:20:17,734
Hey, what about that guy over there?
419
00:20:17,735 --> 00:20:20,701
I'd like to housebreak him.
420
00:20:20,702 --> 00:20:22,133
I suppose he's all right.
421
00:20:22,134 --> 00:20:23,767
Yeah, translation:
We don't have the guts
422
00:20:23,768 --> 00:20:24,635
to go after him.
423
00:20:24,636 --> 00:20:27,268
Speak for yourself, loser.
424
00:20:34,168 --> 00:20:36,734
Well, go for it.
425
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,233
You made me spill my beer.
426
00:20:38,234 --> 00:20:40,001
- Sorry.
- Tell him you'll lick it
427
00:20:40,002 --> 00:20:41,701
- off his chest.
- What?
428
00:20:41,702 --> 00:20:43,001
I said you spilled my beer, man.
429
00:20:43,002 --> 00:20:44,600
- Say it.
- Uh, I... I'll lick it
430
00:20:44,601 --> 00:20:45,568
off your chest.
431
00:20:45,569 --> 00:20:47,033
I'd rather have a napkin.
432
00:20:47,034 --> 00:20:51,167
Right, right. Oh, here.
433
00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:52,233
Well, what are you waiting for?
434
00:20:52,234 --> 00:20:54,801
- Ask him to go home. Hey, dude.
- Hey, dude...
435
00:20:54,802 --> 00:20:56,734
- I never say "dude."
- I can tell you want it bad.
436
00:20:56,735 --> 00:20:58,734
I... I... I can tell you want it bad.
437
00:20:58,735 --> 00:20:59,934
What do you say we get out
of here and do the nasty?
438
00:20:59,935 --> 00:21:02,167
What do you say we
get out of here and...
439
00:21:02,168 --> 00:21:04,001
You know what? I'm...
He's making me do this.
440
00:21:04,002 --> 00:21:06,902
Fucking weirdo.
441
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:11,267
Well, that was the most
stunning display of ineptitude
442
00:21:11,268 --> 00:21:13,133
I've ever witnessed.
443
00:21:13,134 --> 00:21:16,268
- Hey, how'd it go?
- Fuck off!
444
00:21:26,135 --> 00:21:28,200
Oh, wait.
445
00:21:28,201 --> 00:21:30,868
David, David, David.
446
00:21:32,935 --> 00:21:34,701
At last, the boyfriend.
447
00:21:34,702 --> 00:21:35,767
I'm sorry I'm late.
448
00:21:35,768 --> 00:21:37,901
Nonsense, you're fashionable.
449
00:21:37,902 --> 00:21:40,600
I'm Laura. Listen, I've
known David forever.
450
00:21:40,601 --> 00:21:42,934
So if there's anything you
need to know about him...
451
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,701
Warning: Do not listen to Dr. Laura.
452
00:21:44,702 --> 00:21:45,734
Oh!
453
00:21:45,735 --> 00:21:47,168
I hate when he calls me that.
454
00:21:47,169 --> 00:21:49,267
- You've got a PhD.
- In economics.
455
00:21:49,268 --> 00:21:51,600
Hey, you.
456
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:53,268
Excuse me, sir, do I know you? You...
457
00:21:53,269 --> 00:21:54,600
Oh, he's funny.
458
00:21:54,601 --> 00:21:57,734
- And adorable.
- And adorable.
459
00:21:57,735 --> 00:21:58,967
You see? She thinks you're adorable.
460
00:22:00,269 --> 00:22:02,001
I'm nervous as hell.
461
00:22:02,002 --> 00:22:03,667
Relax. Everybody's going to love you.
462
00:22:03,668 --> 00:22:05,168
What makes you think that?
463
00:22:05,169 --> 00:22:07,835
Because I do.
464
00:22:09,601 --> 00:22:11,735
Go, go, go, go.
465
00:22:19,601 --> 00:22:22,034
"Insouciant."
466
00:22:22,035 --> 00:22:25,234
Unconcerned, nonchalant.
467
00:22:25,235 --> 00:22:28,068
That's what you are.
468
00:22:28,069 --> 00:22:30,169
Insouciant.
469
00:22:33,735 --> 00:22:34,535
"Sycophant."
470
00:22:34,536 --> 00:22:37,134
Uncaring.
471
00:22:37,135 --> 00:22:39,667
That's wrong, it means ass-kisser.
472
00:22:39,668 --> 00:22:42,534
It doesn't say "ass-kisser."
473
00:22:42,535 --> 00:22:46,001
"One who seeks favor by flattery."
474
00:22:46,002 --> 00:22:47,934
Ass-kisser.
475
00:22:47,935 --> 00:22:50,068
Who cares what it says?
476
00:22:50,069 --> 00:22:52,435
How can you give away Gus?
477
00:22:52,436 --> 00:22:54,435
He'll think you didn't want him.
478
00:22:54,436 --> 00:22:55,801
He'll be right.
479
00:22:55,802 --> 00:22:59,934
I don't believe you.
480
00:22:59,935 --> 00:23:02,600
I was there the night Gus was born.
481
00:23:02,601 --> 00:23:03,767
I saw you give him a kiss...
482
00:23:03,768 --> 00:23:05,701
Not everyone's cut out to be a father.
483
00:23:05,702 --> 00:23:07,134
Well, then, what are you gonna tell him,
484
00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:08,901
someday when he's old enough,
why you didn't want him?
485
00:23:08,902 --> 00:23:10,834
I'll tell him the truth.
486
00:23:10,835 --> 00:23:13,134
These two dykes I knew
wanted a kid really bad,
487
00:23:13,135 --> 00:23:15,435
so I jerked off into a cup.
488
00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:17,801
That's not all there is to it.
489
00:23:17,802 --> 00:23:19,801
A boy needs a father.
490
00:23:19,802 --> 00:23:21,168
- Believe me, I know.
- Yeah, well,
491
00:23:21,169 --> 00:23:25,435
you haven't had a father
for almost two weeks.
492
00:23:25,436 --> 00:23:29,901
Even if he gets angry, even
if he isn't always there,
493
00:23:30,502 --> 00:23:33,101
it's better than not having one at all.
494
00:23:33,102 --> 00:23:36,101
Yeah, don't be so sure.
495
00:23:36,102 --> 00:23:39,468
Your father must have loved you.
496
00:23:39,469 --> 00:23:41,168
He probably just... He
didn't know how to show it.
497
00:23:41,169 --> 00:23:44,568
Yeah, he knew how to show it all right,
498
00:23:44,569 --> 00:23:48,767
especially after he'd had a few.
499
00:23:48,768 --> 00:23:51,068
At least he didn't give you away.
500
00:23:51,069 --> 00:23:55,069
- "Garrulous."
- Loquacious, chatty.
501
00:23:56,968 --> 00:23:59,735
- Where are you going?
- Out.
502
00:23:59,736 --> 00:24:01,368
I thought you were going to help me.
503
00:24:01,369 --> 00:24:04,469
If you want help, call your father.
504
00:24:08,835 --> 00:24:10,967
Whew! When David makes a meal,
505
00:24:10,968 --> 00:24:14,134
- you don't eat for a week.
- Before or after.
506
00:24:14,135 --> 00:24:15,135
I didn't know you could cook.
507
00:24:15,136 --> 00:24:17,702
Mm, you do have a lot to learn.
508
00:24:17,703 --> 00:24:18,901
Give him time, and he'll discover
509
00:24:18,902 --> 00:24:20,134
all my little secrets.
510
00:24:20,135 --> 00:24:21,368
Like underwear.
511
00:24:21,369 --> 00:24:22,768
Like...
512
00:24:22,769 --> 00:24:24,368
You have an underwear fetish?
513
00:24:24,369 --> 00:24:25,735
On our last trip together,
514
00:24:25,736 --> 00:24:29,401
he brought an entire suitcase
of jockey shorts and socks.
515
00:24:29,402 --> 00:24:30,702
Did you all go somewhere together?
516
00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:32,635
Mm, Tuscany, last fall.
517
00:24:32,636 --> 00:24:35,468
- We rented a house...
- It was fabulous.
518
00:24:35,469 --> 00:24:36,967
- And the food!
- Oh, she's still
519
00:24:36,968 --> 00:24:38,501
talking about the food.
520
00:24:38,502 --> 00:24:40,501
Try getting six pounds of
prosciutto through customs.
521
00:24:40,502 --> 00:24:44,001
- He exaggerates. It was four.
- It was six.
522
00:24:44,002 --> 00:24:45,967
- Four.
- Six.
523
00:24:45,968 --> 00:24:47,435
Have you ever been to Italy?
524
00:24:47,436 --> 00:24:50,435
Uh, no, but my uncle Vic
spent a lot of time there.
525
00:24:50,436 --> 00:24:51,369
Oh, was he on business?
526
00:24:51,370 --> 00:24:54,335
No, AIDS. He went there to die.
527
00:24:54,336 --> 00:24:56,468
Oh.
528
00:24:56,469 --> 00:24:58,335
I'm sorry.
529
00:24:58,336 --> 00:24:59,702
Well, it's not your fault.
530
00:24:59,703 --> 00:25:01,835
He was really sick, so he decided
531
00:25:01,836 --> 00:25:05,435
to take this dream trip to Rome,
532
00:25:05,436 --> 00:25:07,735
and then the protease
inhibitors kicked in and...
533
00:25:07,736 --> 00:25:09,501
Now he's at home, and he's fine...
534
00:25:09,502 --> 00:25:10,668
- Oh.
- Except for some
535
00:25:10,669 --> 00:25:12,803
occasional diarrhea.
536
00:25:16,003 --> 00:25:19,568
I would really like to take
Michael away for a while,
537
00:25:19,569 --> 00:25:22,768
but, you know... well, he
works so hard, and, uh...
538
00:25:22,769 --> 00:25:24,335
So what is it that you do, Michael?
539
00:25:24,336 --> 00:25:27,002
Um, I'm in retail.
540
00:25:27,003 --> 00:25:28,301
Really? Where?
541
00:25:28,302 --> 00:25:31,501
Um, the Big "Q."
542
00:25:31,502 --> 00:25:33,668
He just got a promotion. He's a manager.
543
00:25:33,669 --> 00:25:35,668
The Big "Q"?
544
00:25:35,669 --> 00:25:37,035
Eddie, isn't that what people call you?
545
00:25:40,803 --> 00:25:43,902
I've seen those stores, but
I've never actually been in one.
546
00:25:43,903 --> 00:25:45,968
They sell everything you can imagine.
547
00:25:45,969 --> 00:25:49,803
But nothing you'd want to buy.
548
00:25:54,302 --> 00:25:56,468
Uh, haven't I seen you there?
549
00:25:56,469 --> 00:25:57,902
Excuse me?
550
00:25:57,903 --> 00:25:59,501
I know I know you from somewhere.
551
00:25:59,502 --> 00:26:00,702
Do you shop at the Big Q?
552
00:26:00,703 --> 00:26:02,335
- Hardly.
- Ooh.
553
00:26:05,602 --> 00:26:07,568
Well, the next time we go someplace,
554
00:26:07,569 --> 00:26:08,935
- you must come with us.
- Mm-hmm.
555
00:26:08,936 --> 00:26:13,002
- Yeah.
- How about Mykonos for July?
556
00:26:13,003 --> 00:26:14,835
Uh, I only get a week off.
557
00:26:14,836 --> 00:26:16,301
Oh, you poor thing.
558
00:26:16,302 --> 00:26:17,835
That is why I love academia.
559
00:26:17,836 --> 00:26:20,601
We professors get the whole summer.
560
00:26:20,602 --> 00:26:22,269
Mm.
561
00:26:22,270 --> 00:26:25,435
I should check the seafood paella.
562
00:26:25,436 --> 00:26:26,535
Is everybody okay with shellfish?
563
00:26:26,536 --> 00:26:27,568
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes.
564
00:26:27,569 --> 00:26:28,569
- Fine. Great.
- Mm-hmm.
565
00:26:28,570 --> 00:26:30,868
Okay.
566
00:26:30,869 --> 00:26:33,401
That's where I know you from,
567
00:26:33,402 --> 00:26:36,368
from the White Party. You gave me crabs.
568
00:26:44,669 --> 00:26:46,668
Anyone like some more wine?
569
00:26:52,403 --> 00:26:54,369
Ready or not?
570
00:26:54,370 --> 00:26:57,269
You're in a good mood.
571
00:26:57,270 --> 00:27:01,302
The best.
572
00:27:01,303 --> 00:27:04,336
I am finally going to
be an officially signed,
573
00:27:04,337 --> 00:27:06,501
sealed, and delivered mom.
574
00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:08,568
Actually, I'm the one who delivered.
575
00:27:08,569 --> 00:27:12,302
Hey, two out of three ain't bad.
576
00:27:12,303 --> 00:27:16,902
And we owe it all to... Oh,
Jesus, I can't believe it...
577
00:27:16,903 --> 00:27:19,668
Brian.
578
00:27:19,669 --> 00:27:20,669
I always knew he'd come through.
579
00:27:20,670 --> 00:27:21,835
Mmm.
580
00:27:21,836 --> 00:27:25,436
I was sure he'd tell
us to go fuck ourselves.
581
00:27:25,437 --> 00:27:28,537
Well, I'm sure it wasn't easy,
I mean, giving up his rights.
582
00:27:35,869 --> 00:27:38,635
He didn't even seem to care.
583
00:27:38,636 --> 00:27:41,702
- Oh, I'm sure he cared.
- Uh-huh.
584
00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:45,402
He loves his son, and
more than he ever thought.
585
00:27:45,403 --> 00:27:49,635
All that matters is
that Gus is finally ours,
586
00:27:49,636 --> 00:27:52,769
both of ours.
587
00:28:23,203 --> 00:28:24,469
God, I've missed touching you.
588
00:28:31,704 --> 00:28:34,769
Oh! Oh!
589
00:28:50,570 --> 00:28:53,503
What's going on, man?
590
00:28:55,670 --> 00:28:57,769
Your bet, Tommy.
591
00:28:57,770 --> 00:29:01,202
If I win this hand, next round's on me.
592
00:29:01,203 --> 00:29:03,235
Oh, the next round's on Tommy.
593
00:29:03,236 --> 00:29:05,235
That means we're going
to be dry again tonight.
594
00:29:06,470 --> 00:29:09,537
Call you, raise you 10.
595
00:29:14,170 --> 00:29:17,569
How's it going, Pop?
596
00:29:17,570 --> 00:29:21,803
Better days, and for sure better hands.
597
00:29:21,804 --> 00:29:23,436
Say hello to the guys.
598
00:29:23,437 --> 00:29:24,636
Hello, guys.
599
00:29:24,637 --> 00:29:27,502
I'm out. I was bluffing anyway.
600
00:29:27,503 --> 00:29:30,469
As if you were fooling anybody.
601
00:29:30,470 --> 00:29:31,569
What'll you have, Sonny Boy?
602
00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:32,503
Beer's good.
603
00:29:32,504 --> 00:29:34,169
Hold your fire.
604
00:29:34,170 --> 00:29:37,169
A couple of your best scotches, Spike.
605
00:29:40,403 --> 00:29:42,102
Union Hall.
606
00:29:42,103 --> 00:29:45,069
So how's that fancy job of yours?
607
00:29:45,070 --> 00:29:47,135
My fancy job's just fine.
608
00:29:47,136 --> 00:29:49,169
I can't complain.
609
00:29:49,170 --> 00:29:50,602
Leave the complaining to "the warden."
610
00:29:50,603 --> 00:29:53,670
If it was up to her,
I'd never have any fun.
611
00:29:56,437 --> 00:29:59,135
Listen, um...
612
00:29:59,136 --> 00:30:01,703
I'm, uh, a little short,
you know, end of the month.
613
00:30:01,704 --> 00:30:03,637
I just, uh...
614
00:30:20,104 --> 00:30:22,436
You're a good boy.
615
00:30:22,437 --> 00:30:24,369
I'm keeping strict accounts,
616
00:30:24,370 --> 00:30:26,469
every goddamn penny.
617
00:30:26,470 --> 00:30:30,103
I know.
618
00:30:30,104 --> 00:30:32,737
Mr. Executive is treating.
619
00:30:41,470 --> 00:30:43,736
And don't you work too hard, now.
620
00:30:43,737 --> 00:30:47,003
Thanks for the advice.
621
00:30:47,004 --> 00:30:49,636
You got to leave some
time for the ladies.
622
00:30:51,304 --> 00:30:53,469
Oh, I always leave time for the ladies.
623
00:30:53,470 --> 00:30:55,369
But don't let 'em tie
you down, you hear?
624
00:30:55,370 --> 00:30:56,669
Don't worry about me, Pop.
625
00:30:56,670 --> 00:30:58,070
'Cause that's what they all want to do,
626
00:30:58,071 --> 00:30:59,536
no matter what the hell they say.
627
00:30:59,537 --> 00:31:02,737
I think I can handle it.
628
00:31:08,171 --> 00:31:11,070
You know, you...
629
00:31:11,071 --> 00:31:14,969
And me, we... We're a lot alike.
630
00:31:14,970 --> 00:31:17,636
We are.
631
00:31:17,637 --> 00:31:19,969
We weren't meant to settle down.
632
00:31:22,537 --> 00:31:24,969
Sometimes, God damn it,
I look in the mirror,
633
00:31:24,970 --> 00:31:27,502
and I say, "Jack Kinney,
you dumb son of a bitch,
634
00:31:27,503 --> 00:31:31,569
you should never have
been a family man."
635
00:31:31,570 --> 00:31:34,236
Then why did you?
636
00:31:34,237 --> 00:31:37,371
Why'd you marry Mom? Why'd you have me?
637
00:31:40,637 --> 00:31:43,236
Jesus, you're a smart kid.
638
00:31:43,237 --> 00:31:45,337
You mean you never figured it out?
639
00:31:45,338 --> 00:31:49,203
Now, come on, Sonny Boy. Sonny Boy!
640
00:31:49,204 --> 00:31:52,170
You just stay.
641
00:31:52,171 --> 00:31:55,171
Come on, have another
drink with your old man.
642
00:31:57,670 --> 00:32:01,236
Come on, have another drink.
643
00:32:01,237 --> 00:32:04,603
Two more.
644
00:32:11,937 --> 00:32:13,537
Everyone thinks I've gone schizo.
645
00:32:13,538 --> 00:32:16,071
Never been so humiliated in my life.
646
00:32:16,072 --> 00:32:17,272
_
647
00:32:17,338 --> 00:32:18,237
What are you doing?
648
00:32:18,238 --> 00:32:19,403
Deleting you.
649
00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:21,136
Like I should have done to begin with.
650
00:32:21,137 --> 00:32:23,236
Whoa.
651
00:32:23,237 --> 00:32:26,503
Don't I get one last chance?
652
00:32:26,504 --> 00:32:28,070
Think of all the hot sex you've scored
653
00:32:28,071 --> 00:32:31,037
pretending to be me.
654
00:32:36,237 --> 00:32:38,537
Come into my world.
655
00:32:38,538 --> 00:32:42,370
You don't have a world. You have a web.
656
00:32:42,371 --> 00:32:44,504
Sign on.
657
00:32:46,970 --> 00:32:48,437
All right,
658
00:32:48,438 --> 00:32:51,171
but this is your last chance.
659
00:33:20,204 --> 00:33:23,304
So... Which one do we want to talk to?
660
00:33:29,104 --> 00:33:31,337
Him, surfer dude.
661
00:33:31,338 --> 00:33:34,136
- So how's it going?
- What are you doing?
662
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:36,870
He can't hear you. You
don't exist here, remember?
663
00:33:36,871 --> 00:33:40,370
You've got to talk through me.
664
00:33:40,371 --> 00:33:43,036
All right. Wow, give a
screen name a little power,
665
00:33:43,037 --> 00:33:45,470
he becomes a control freak.
666
00:33:45,471 --> 00:33:47,904
Ask him what he's got on.
667
00:33:47,905 --> 00:33:50,938
What are you wearing, man?
668
00:33:52,071 --> 00:33:53,337
Just the jockstrap.
669
00:33:53,338 --> 00:33:54,870
Wow.
670
00:33:54,871 --> 00:33:56,004
If life were like the Internet,
671
00:33:56,005 --> 00:33:57,804
half of Pittsburgh would be naked.
672
00:33:57,805 --> 00:34:00,036
- Ask him what he's into.
- What are you into?
673
00:34:00,037 --> 00:34:04,236
Jacking off, sucking, just for starters.
674
00:34:04,237 --> 00:34:06,870
I could get into that.
675
00:34:06,871 --> 00:34:09,937
- Tell him, um...
- I know what to say.
676
00:34:09,938 --> 00:34:13,970
It's what you always say.
677
00:34:13,971 --> 00:34:15,103
I'll throw you down on the bed
678
00:34:15,104 --> 00:34:16,904
and rip that jock-strap
off with my teeth.
679
00:34:16,905 --> 00:34:19,071
You're making me so hard.
680
00:34:19,072 --> 00:34:20,470
Then I'd flip you over
and I'd slap that tight,
681
00:34:20,471 --> 00:34:23,804
round bubble butt until
you beg me to fuck... You.
682
00:34:23,805 --> 00:34:26,403
Yeah, man. You're making me so gorny.
683
00:34:26,404 --> 00:34:29,270
So... so gorny? What
does that mean? I don't...
684
00:34:29,271 --> 00:34:30,937
Sorry, typo.
685
00:34:30,938 --> 00:34:32,904
I'm... I'm so horny.
686
00:34:32,905 --> 00:34:36,437
Hey, Pitts, it's me.
Where have you been?
687
00:34:36,438 --> 00:34:38,270
Oh, my God, it's "usemyhole27."
688
00:34:38,271 --> 00:34:40,137
Yeah, I'll tell him to
fuck off. We're busy.
689
00:34:40,138 --> 00:34:43,138
I still want to be your bottom boy.
690
00:34:46,038 --> 00:34:48,937
E-mail your address. I'll come over.
691
00:34:48,938 --> 00:34:50,004
What?
692
00:34:50,005 --> 00:34:51,804
Cool.
693
00:34:55,172 --> 00:34:57,071
Do you know what you just did?
694
00:34:57,072 --> 00:34:59,204
Yeah.
695
00:34:59,205 --> 00:35:01,104
I got you a date.
696
00:35:01,105 --> 00:35:02,072
- Thanks, Dave.
- Okay.
697
00:35:02,073 --> 00:35:04,403
Great dinner, as always.
698
00:35:04,404 --> 00:35:05,371
I'll call you this week, sweetie.
699
00:35:05,372 --> 00:35:09,204
Mwa. Adorable?
700
00:35:09,205 --> 00:35:12,338
- Good night, David, thank you.
- Good night.
701
00:35:14,304 --> 00:35:16,404
Okay.
702
00:35:18,238 --> 00:35:19,970
Hey, don't clean up.
703
00:35:19,971 --> 00:35:22,271
It's the least I can do,
after the mess I made.
704
00:35:22,272 --> 00:35:24,770
How was I supposed to know
that Javier never told Ed
705
00:35:24,771 --> 00:35:26,171
he went to the White Party?
706
00:35:26,172 --> 00:35:28,437
Well, he knows now.
707
00:35:28,438 --> 00:35:30,271
Oh, God. There goes my trip to Mykonos.
708
00:35:30,272 --> 00:35:32,204
- I'm such a jerk.
- Oh, you're not a jerk.
709
00:35:32,205 --> 00:35:34,304
I am a jerk. I've never been anywhere,
710
00:35:34,305 --> 00:35:36,204
- I've never done anything.
- So what?
711
00:35:36,205 --> 00:35:37,804
I barely made it through one semester
712
00:35:37,805 --> 00:35:39,904
- of community college.
- So what?
713
00:35:39,905 --> 00:35:41,970
Like, I don't even know
which fucking fork to use.
714
00:35:41,971 --> 00:35:44,037
Michael, it doesn't matter.
715
00:35:44,038 --> 00:35:46,304
It matters to me.
716
00:35:46,305 --> 00:35:49,138
- Come on.
- I... I can't, I got to go.
717
00:35:50,272 --> 00:35:53,037
- What?
- I forgot my clothes for work.
718
00:35:53,038 --> 00:35:54,404
Michael.
719
00:35:54,405 --> 00:35:56,670
Mi...
720
00:35:57,705 --> 00:35:58,870
Oh.
721
00:36:01,405 --> 00:36:02,704
He's gonna open that door,
722
00:36:02,705 --> 00:36:06,037
take one look at me, and
laugh, right in my face.
723
00:36:06,038 --> 00:36:07,171
He liked you online.
724
00:36:07,172 --> 00:36:09,904
Yeah, that's because
he thought I was you.
725
00:36:09,905 --> 00:36:11,904
I'm the Cyrano of cyberspace.
726
00:36:11,905 --> 00:36:13,770
Who?
727
00:36:13,771 --> 00:36:16,905
Never mind.
728
00:36:30,671 --> 00:36:32,204
Usemyhole27?
729
00:36:37,671 --> 00:36:41,737
Pitts9x6.
730
00:36:42,838 --> 00:36:44,271
I guess I'm not what you expected.
731
00:36:44,272 --> 00:36:47,737
Well, I was gonna say the same thing.
732
00:36:47,738 --> 00:36:51,837
I mean, I guess you can tell
I'm not a big, beefy top.
733
00:36:51,838 --> 00:36:55,104
Do I look like a hungry,
submissive bottom?
734
00:36:55,105 --> 00:36:56,870
Well, you sure had me fooled.
735
00:36:56,871 --> 00:37:00,004
I mean, the way you beg to be dominated.
736
00:37:00,005 --> 00:37:04,037
And the way you made me beg.
737
00:37:04,038 --> 00:37:08,072
You're the most ruthless pig
master I've ever talked to.
738
00:37:15,138 --> 00:37:16,604
Then what the fuck are you doing
739
00:37:16,605 --> 00:37:19,037
standing in front of me, huh?
740
00:37:19,038 --> 00:37:22,005
Drop to your knees, pussy boy.
741
00:37:25,639 --> 00:37:28,604
Yes, sir.
742
00:37:33,138 --> 00:37:36,904
Emmett, you can't keep losing your key.
743
00:37:40,305 --> 00:37:44,104
Hey, Sonny Boy.
744
00:37:44,105 --> 00:37:46,271
Oh, shit, you went to see your dad.
745
00:37:46,272 --> 00:37:50,204
Hey, stay here and have
a drink with your old man.
746
00:37:50,205 --> 00:37:53,272
All right, come on. Come on.
747
00:38:08,205 --> 00:38:10,838
Well, we... We lost the game.
748
00:38:10,839 --> 00:38:13,638
Uh-huh. Lift up your arms.
749
00:38:13,639 --> 00:38:15,204
There we are.
750
00:38:15,205 --> 00:38:17,604
We had a 13-point lead
in the last ten minutes.
751
00:38:17,605 --> 00:38:20,839
Atta boy.
752
00:38:23,639 --> 00:38:26,604
And the boys down at electrical,
753
00:38:26,605 --> 00:38:28,805
they might strike.
754
00:38:28,806 --> 00:38:32,604
You don't say. Now your pants.
755
00:38:32,605 --> 00:38:35,005
- There you go.
- Yeah, Tony Cattera's
756
00:38:35,006 --> 00:38:36,604
thinking about retiring next spring,
757
00:38:36,605 --> 00:38:38,771
and if he goes, well, you know.
758
00:38:38,772 --> 00:38:41,839
Well, good for Tony.
759
00:38:47,739 --> 00:38:50,906
Now get in.
760
00:39:07,939 --> 00:39:12,105
You should've heard him.
761
00:39:12,106 --> 00:39:16,604
"How's my successful son?
762
00:39:16,605 --> 00:39:20,638
I'm a little short of cash.
763
00:39:20,639 --> 00:39:23,072
Never should have been a family man."
764
00:39:23,073 --> 00:39:27,705
That's ancient history.
Now, go to sleep.
765
00:39:27,706 --> 00:39:31,038
He never changes,
766
00:39:31,039 --> 00:39:35,504
not his bullshit,
767
00:39:35,505 --> 00:39:39,439
not his life.
768
00:39:42,472 --> 00:39:46,172
When are you ever gonna learn?
769
00:39:46,173 --> 00:39:49,771
That's all he is.
770
00:39:49,772 --> 00:39:52,839
That's all he can be.
771
00:40:23,906 --> 00:40:25,571
- ♪ Look at that man ♪
- ♪ ooh ooh ♪
772
00:40:25,572 --> 00:40:29,105
♪ that man has confidence ♪
773
00:40:29,106 --> 00:40:31,105
♪ confidence ♪
774
00:40:31,106 --> 00:40:33,871
- ♪ look at that man ♪
- ♪ ooh, ooh ooh ♪
775
00:40:33,872 --> 00:40:37,606
- ♪ that man has style ♪
- ♪ style ♪
776
00:40:40,106 --> 00:40:45,005
♪ na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
777
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,604
Mm.
778
00:40:48,605 --> 00:40:50,571
What happened to you?
779
00:40:50,572 --> 00:40:53,938
Honey, you name it.
780
00:40:53,939 --> 00:40:55,938
How 'bout you?
781
00:40:55,939 --> 00:40:57,372
Ah, I've been staring at the same guy
782
00:40:57,373 --> 00:40:59,706
for the last three hours.
783
00:41:03,672 --> 00:41:06,605
- Hey.
- There you are.
784
00:41:06,606 --> 00:41:08,405
- How'd it go?
- This bottom's
785
00:41:08,406 --> 00:41:10,539
on top of the world.
786
00:41:10,540 --> 00:41:12,072
I owe it all to you, dude.
787
00:41:12,073 --> 00:41:14,439
What did I have to do with it, "dude"?
788
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:18,705
And don't worry. I am
never gonna delete you.
789
00:41:18,706 --> 00:41:21,706
Delete? Okay, hand over the drugs.
790
00:41:25,673 --> 00:41:28,005
Shut your hole.
791
00:41:28,006 --> 00:41:29,105
Excuse me.
792
00:41:29,106 --> 00:41:30,771
You heard me, pussy boy.
793
00:41:30,772 --> 00:41:33,105
I want you to go downstairs,
794
00:41:33,106 --> 00:41:37,771
and tell that guy that you've
been staring at all night
795
00:41:37,772 --> 00:41:42,038
to get down on his knees
and service your cock.
796
00:41:42,039 --> 00:41:43,805
What?
797
00:41:43,806 --> 00:41:45,473
Move it.
798
00:41:46,906 --> 00:41:49,972
Move it.
799
00:41:52,872 --> 00:41:54,807
Yes, sir.
800
00:41:56,673 --> 00:42:00,871
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
801
00:42:05,606 --> 00:42:09,871
♪ na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
802
00:42:09,872 --> 00:42:13,572
I had my assistant flag
the places for you to sign.
803
00:42:17,740 --> 00:42:19,639
I need a pen.
804
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,839
Oh! Got one.
805
00:42:26,707 --> 00:42:29,807
- There's no ink in there.
- I have one.
806
00:42:32,306 --> 00:42:35,305
Here you go.
807
00:42:48,506 --> 00:42:50,939
Brian?
808
00:42:50,940 --> 00:42:53,472
- Oh.
- What is it, sweetie?
809
00:42:54,573 --> 00:42:55,872
Honey, I thought you changed him.
810
00:42:55,873 --> 00:42:59,272
I did. Maybe that new formula
doesn't agree with him.
811
00:43:04,473 --> 00:43:07,707
Well, I guess we should get on with it.
812
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:12,872
I changed my mind.
813
00:43:12,873 --> 00:43:15,972
Brian, please don't do this.
814
00:43:15,973 --> 00:43:18,772
I'm not signing it.
815
00:43:18,773 --> 00:43:20,772
We had an agreement.
816
00:43:20,773 --> 00:43:24,672
That was before. Gus didn't exist then.
817
00:43:24,673 --> 00:43:26,605
Oh, God, I knew it.
818
00:43:26,606 --> 00:43:29,305
Brian, you know how
important this is to us,
819
00:43:29,306 --> 00:43:30,772
after what happened at the hospital.
820
00:43:30,773 --> 00:43:32,639
Well, I'm sorry for
that. That was wrong,
821
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:36,906
but so is giving up my kid.
822
00:43:36,907 --> 00:43:40,673
Isn't that right, Sonny Boy?
823
00:43:52,707 --> 00:43:54,639
Could you use a break?
824
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:56,405
I'm still working off the paella.
825
00:43:56,406 --> 00:44:00,472
Ooh, I could use a few reps myself.
826
00:44:00,473 --> 00:44:02,640
Come on.
827
00:44:06,340 --> 00:44:07,405
- Look, I want to talk to you...
- Michael, I want to about...
828
00:44:07,406 --> 00:44:08,806
No, I gotta talk to you about last...
829
00:44:08,807 --> 00:44:10,505
- I gotta... psh.
- You go first.
830
00:44:10,506 --> 00:44:12,539
Look, I know I disappointed you.
831
00:44:12,540 --> 00:44:13,939
No, I let you down.
832
00:44:13,940 --> 00:44:16,173
- I'm an idiot, and I...
- I'm a jerk.
833
00:44:16,174 --> 00:44:18,340
I was insensitive. I should
have been more sensitive...
834
00:44:18,341 --> 00:44:19,872
I don't really fit in with your friends.
835
00:44:19,873 --> 00:44:21,273
I don't know if I ever will.
836
00:44:21,274 --> 00:44:22,672
When two people live in
two separate places...
837
00:44:22,673 --> 00:44:24,206
We're from two totally different worlds.
838
00:44:24,207 --> 00:44:25,505
There's only one thing
that we should do.
839
00:44:25,506 --> 00:44:27,139
I know. I agree.
840
00:44:27,140 --> 00:44:29,206
There's no other choice.
841
00:44:29,207 --> 00:44:32,906
So this is it, it's over.
842
00:44:32,907 --> 00:44:36,406
Over? What's over? I want
you to move in with me.
843
00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:44,500
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
58925
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