All language subtitles for Queer as Folk (US) - 01x09 - Daddy Dearest (Sonny Boy).WEBRip.AAC2.0.H.264-

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,611 --> 00:00:38,943 Thank you. 2 00:00:40,444 --> 00:00:45,966 _ 3 00:00:45,967 --> 00:00:53,151 _ 4 00:00:56,452 --> 00:00:59,080 _ 5 00:01:01,578 --> 00:01:03,928 _ 6 00:01:03,943 --> 00:01:06,743 _ 7 00:01:07,744 --> 00:01:09,010 _ 8 00:01:11,177 --> 00:01:12,209 Ah. Ahh. 9 00:01:12,210 --> 00:01:16,143 _ 10 00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:18,243 Oh! 11 00:01:28,045 --> 00:01:31,845 _ 12 00:01:32,544 --> 00:01:35,577 Hook up for real? 13 00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:37,878 _ 14 00:01:38,177 --> 00:01:40,443 Good-bye. 15 00:01:42,763 --> 00:01:44,996 So you've been working out. 16 00:01:44,997 --> 00:01:46,929 Would you just shoot? 17 00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:51,263 Pool is a game of precision and science, my friend. 18 00:01:51,264 --> 00:01:54,229 It involves intricate eye-hand coordination, 19 00:01:54,230 --> 00:01:57,396 geometry, specific gravity, 20 00:01:57,397 --> 00:02:01,229 - molecular density... - It's a fucking ball and stick. 21 00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:03,029 Will you take the shot, Mikey? 22 00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:04,996 I can't, I got to go meet David. 23 00:02:04,997 --> 00:02:06,896 Why doesn't he ever meet you here? 24 00:02:06,897 --> 00:02:10,096 Um, because he doesn't like my friends. 25 00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:12,296 I don't like your friends. 26 00:02:12,297 --> 00:02:14,896 What about his friends? Does he have any? 27 00:02:14,897 --> 00:02:17,430 - Hey, I sunk one. - Yeah, well, you're stripes. 28 00:02:17,431 --> 00:02:19,029 Yeah, sure he has friends. 29 00:02:19,030 --> 00:02:20,030 Have you ever met any? 30 00:02:20,030 --> 00:02:21,030 Um, no. 31 00:02:21,031 --> 00:02:22,830 Maybe he doesn't want you to. 32 00:02:22,831 --> 00:02:25,029 Hey, there. 33 00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:29,296 Well, at least his friends are his own age. 34 00:02:29,297 --> 00:02:32,029 What are you doing here? 35 00:02:32,030 --> 00:02:34,129 I thought it was a school night. 36 00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:36,029 - You're here. - I'm a grown up. 37 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,029 Barely. 38 00:02:38,030 --> 00:02:39,096 Go home. 39 00:02:39,097 --> 00:02:40,997 No. 40 00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:46,029 So what is this, adopt-a-trick? 41 00:02:46,030 --> 00:02:48,296 First, he's a one-night stand, now, he's moved in. 42 00:02:48,297 --> 00:02:50,996 - It's only temporary. - Uh-huh, until he grows up? 43 00:02:50,997 --> 00:02:53,996 Until I figure out what to do with him. 44 00:02:53,997 --> 00:02:55,996 Mikey. 45 00:02:55,997 --> 00:02:57,730 Tell the doc we miss him. 46 00:02:57,731 --> 00:02:59,763 - Bye. Bye. - Bye. 47 00:02:59,764 --> 00:03:01,764 See ya. 48 00:03:04,297 --> 00:03:05,963 That could be him. 49 00:03:05,964 --> 00:03:08,396 - Who? - Usemyhole27. 50 00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,229 Usemyhole27? What does that mean? 51 00:03:10,230 --> 00:03:12,897 Like, 26 other guys have used his hole before you? 52 00:03:12,898 --> 00:03:15,963 No. He's my cyber-boyfriend. 53 00:03:15,964 --> 00:03:19,030 Swimmer's build, Leo-like smile. 54 00:03:19,031 --> 00:03:22,129 It's the best imaginary sex I ever had, 55 00:03:22,130 --> 00:03:24,763 - but now it's over. - How come? 56 00:03:24,764 --> 00:03:27,064 - Because he wants to meet me. - So? 57 00:03:27,065 --> 00:03:30,663 So I'm nothing like my profile, so. 58 00:03:30,664 --> 00:03:35,229 Big, smooth, 6'2", 195 pounds, 4% body fat... 59 00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:37,064 Uncut. 60 00:03:37,065 --> 00:03:38,763 Jesus. 61 00:03:38,764 --> 00:03:41,130 I think I did it with you just last week. 62 00:03:41,131 --> 00:03:42,596 Ew. 63 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,097 How was I? 64 00:03:45,098 --> 00:03:47,296 Did you ever consider just telling him the truth? 65 00:03:47,297 --> 00:03:49,663 Uh, what? What, that I'm a big, nelly bottom 66 00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:52,596 who wishes he were a beefy, brutal top, 67 00:03:52,597 --> 00:03:55,698 and never will be? 68 00:04:01,331 --> 00:04:03,263 Yes, hello. This is Lindsay Petersen. 69 00:04:03,264 --> 00:04:04,697 I need to talk to Dr. Persaud. 70 00:04:04,698 --> 00:04:06,263 - It's about Gus. - Oh, God. 71 00:04:06,264 --> 00:04:07,596 He's throwing up again. 72 00:04:07,597 --> 00:04:09,030 Shh, shh, shh. It's okay, it's okay. 73 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,064 It's okay. It's okay. 74 00:04:10,065 --> 00:04:11,097 He's burning up, honey. 75 00:04:11,098 --> 00:04:12,296 Our baby's sick and I have to t... 76 00:04:13,266 --> 00:04:14,797 They want us to leave our number 77 00:04:14,798 --> 00:04:15,764 and when she calls in, they'll give her the message. 78 00:04:15,765 --> 00:04:17,130 Give it to me. 79 00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:18,297 Hello, uh, what's your name? 80 00:04:18,298 --> 00:04:21,230 Hi, Carol. This is Melanie Marcus. 81 00:04:21,231 --> 00:04:23,030 Listen, we need to reach Dr. Persaud. 82 00:04:23,031 --> 00:04:24,730 Doesn't she usually leave her pager on? 83 00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,897 Okay, great. Then I'd appreciate it 84 00:04:26,898 --> 00:04:28,997 if you'd please contact her while I wait on the line. 85 00:04:28,998 --> 00:04:31,530 Thank you. 86 00:04:31,531 --> 00:04:33,698 I love you. 87 00:04:34,731 --> 00:04:39,130 Shh, shh, shh. 88 00:04:39,131 --> 00:04:40,530 Hello, Dr. Persaud? 89 00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:41,797 Hi, it's Lindsay Petersen. 90 00:04:41,798 --> 00:04:43,697 Yeah, it's Gus. He has a fever, 102, 91 00:04:43,698 --> 00:04:45,596 and he's been throwing up... 92 00:04:45,597 --> 00:04:48,230 Yes, all right. Thank you. 93 00:04:48,231 --> 00:04:49,830 She said we have to go to the hospital right away. 94 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,763 Okay, okay. Listen, it's going to be all right. 95 00:04:51,764 --> 00:04:52,830 I'll get the keys, you get his blanky. 96 00:04:52,831 --> 00:04:54,030 Okay. 97 00:04:54,031 --> 00:04:58,297 Brian's home. You mean it? 98 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,165 My mom says "hi." 99 00:05:04,864 --> 00:05:07,030 Brian says "hi" too. 100 00:05:07,031 --> 00:05:09,730 Yeah. 101 00:05:09,731 --> 00:05:13,897 So does Dad ask about me? 102 00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:16,864 Oh, is he still mad? 103 00:05:18,231 --> 00:05:21,564 Can you talk to him? Make him understand? 104 00:05:24,764 --> 00:05:27,596 No, no, I can't. 105 00:05:27,597 --> 00:05:28,997 I can't come home. 106 00:05:28,998 --> 00:05:31,497 Not if he still feels that way. 107 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,531 Mom? Mom. 108 00:05:34,532 --> 00:05:36,897 I'm going to go. 109 00:05:36,898 --> 00:05:40,697 Give Molly a kiss for me. 110 00:05:40,698 --> 00:05:42,831 Yeah, you too. 111 00:05:49,698 --> 00:05:52,831 You know, it's really not worth crying about. 112 00:05:56,598 --> 00:06:01,197 I wasn't crying. Just my allergies. 113 00:06:01,198 --> 00:06:04,997 Your father's an asshole who treats you like shit. 114 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,130 He practically killed me. 115 00:06:07,131 --> 00:06:08,930 I say forget about him. 116 00:06:08,931 --> 00:06:10,564 Yeah, but he's my dad. 117 00:06:10,565 --> 00:06:12,064 I mean, could you forget about your father? 118 00:06:12,065 --> 00:06:13,930 I already did, a long time ago. 119 00:06:13,931 --> 00:06:15,897 You mean you never see him or talk to him? 120 00:06:15,898 --> 00:06:17,130 What for? 121 00:06:17,131 --> 00:06:19,431 Just to hang out, be together. 122 00:06:19,432 --> 00:06:22,164 Yeah, just because he got my mother pregnant 123 00:06:22,165 --> 00:06:25,830 doesn't mean that there's some special bond between us. 124 00:06:25,831 --> 00:06:29,130 He served his purpose. That's all he was good for. 125 00:06:29,131 --> 00:06:33,130 I could never feel that way about my dad. 126 00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,531 Well, then you'll always be hurt. 127 00:06:41,665 --> 00:06:43,097 Hello? 128 00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:45,963 Oh, hi. 129 00:06:45,964 --> 00:06:49,531 Yeah, hold on, he's right here. 130 00:06:49,532 --> 00:06:52,665 It's Lindsay. She sounds upset. 131 00:06:53,498 --> 00:06:55,798 Ah! 132 00:06:55,799 --> 00:06:57,731 - Quit it. - I can't help it. 133 00:06:57,732 --> 00:06:59,798 I see you, I just want to take a bite. 134 00:06:59,799 --> 00:07:01,864 Who called? 135 00:07:01,865 --> 00:07:03,698 Oh, my ex. 136 00:07:03,699 --> 00:07:04,632 Lori? 137 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,664 Yeah, I told her all about you. 138 00:07:06,665 --> 00:07:08,531 - What'd you say? - I said you were smart, 139 00:07:08,532 --> 00:07:09,963 you were funny, and you were sexy. 140 00:07:09,964 --> 00:07:11,798 I thought you stopped lying to your wife. 141 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,731 Come on, let's go to bed. 142 00:07:13,732 --> 00:07:15,097 Who are these people? 143 00:07:15,098 --> 00:07:16,997 Which... Let me see. 144 00:07:16,998 --> 00:07:18,664 People in the picture. They look nice. 145 00:07:18,665 --> 00:07:20,764 They look straight. 146 00:07:20,765 --> 00:07:23,097 That's Laura and Steve. This is on New Year's Eve. 147 00:07:23,098 --> 00:07:24,931 Steve's a urologist, Laura works at Pitt. 148 00:07:24,932 --> 00:07:26,431 They're really good friends of mind. 149 00:07:26,432 --> 00:07:27,798 So how come I've never met them? 150 00:07:27,799 --> 00:07:30,097 Oh, I don't know. You want to meet them? 151 00:07:30,098 --> 00:07:33,664 I don't know. You want me to meet them? 152 00:07:33,665 --> 00:07:38,364 - What's with you? - Nothing. I was just... 153 00:07:38,365 --> 00:07:39,731 I was driving over here tonight 154 00:07:39,732 --> 00:07:41,031 with my bag of stuff for tomorrow, 155 00:07:41,032 --> 00:07:42,998 and I just started to feel like somebody's little secret. 156 00:07:42,999 --> 00:07:45,564 You know, it's always just the two of us. 157 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:47,564 Well, I have to admit, I kind of enjoy it that way, 158 00:07:47,565 --> 00:07:49,464 just having you all to myself, 159 00:07:49,465 --> 00:07:52,331 but if you want to be with other people... 160 00:07:52,332 --> 00:07:54,764 No, it's okay. I'm sor... 161 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:56,331 I never should have brought it up. 162 00:07:56,332 --> 00:07:57,631 No, I'm glad you did. 163 00:07:57,632 --> 00:08:01,564 Hey, what are you doing Saturday night? 164 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:02,831 Saturday night? 165 00:08:02,832 --> 00:08:03,964 Yeah, we'll have a dinner party. 166 00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:05,464 I'll introduce you to the gang. 167 00:08:05,465 --> 00:08:07,564 The gang? No, that's okay. 168 00:08:07,565 --> 00:08:09,331 No, it's a great idea, you know? 169 00:08:09,332 --> 00:08:13,465 I want them to know you, and you should know them. 170 00:08:15,332 --> 00:08:18,564 Ah! 171 00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:22,297 _ 172 00:08:23,832 --> 00:08:26,931 Hey. 173 00:08:26,932 --> 00:08:28,964 What the fuck are you doing? 174 00:08:28,965 --> 00:08:31,364 Who the hell are you? How... how'd you get in here? 175 00:08:31,365 --> 00:08:32,698 Hey, I asked a question first. 176 00:08:32,699 --> 00:08:34,497 What the fuck do you think you're doing deleting me? 177 00:08:34,498 --> 00:08:36,564 Don't you recognize me? 178 00:08:36,565 --> 00:08:39,964 I'm "pitts9x6." 179 00:08:39,965 --> 00:08:41,964 How do you know my secret screen name? 180 00:08:41,965 --> 00:08:43,998 Well, dude, I am your screen name. 181 00:08:43,999 --> 00:08:46,964 What are you talking about? Did... did Ted put you up to this? 182 00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:51,599 Profile: Big, smooth, 6'2", 195 pounds, 183 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:56,632 4% body fat, uncut. 184 00:08:57,565 --> 00:09:00,631 Okay. Okay, I get it. 185 00:09:00,632 --> 00:09:02,431 Michael and Ted read my profile, 186 00:09:02,432 --> 00:09:05,265 and they paid you to come here and mess with my head. 187 00:09:05,266 --> 00:09:06,864 Well, my grip on reality 188 00:09:06,865 --> 00:09:09,597 is a little tighter than everyone seems to think. 189 00:09:09,598 --> 00:09:11,831 Okay? Pitts doesn't exist. 190 00:09:11,832 --> 00:09:15,598 He's a fantasy, a figment of my overactive imaginat... 191 00:09:17,565 --> 00:09:20,332 Oh. Oh, my God. 192 00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:22,964 It's true. You really are... 193 00:09:22,965 --> 00:09:26,432 9x6, thanks to you. 194 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,664 Yeah. 195 00:09:28,665 --> 00:09:30,332 Okay, I... I must be dreaming. 196 00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:32,931 - I don't... - These are some hot tapes. 197 00:09:32,932 --> 00:09:36,432 Dawson's Crack. Mind if I pop it in? 198 00:09:36,433 --> 00:09:39,597 Oh, my God, I've completely cracked. 199 00:09:39,598 --> 00:09:40,964 I'm talking to my screen name. 200 00:09:40,965 --> 00:09:43,498 Okay, w... what is going on? What are you doing here? 201 00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,432 Well, I almost wasn't. You were about to delete me. 202 00:09:45,433 --> 00:09:47,564 Oh. Well, I'm very sorry, 203 00:09:47,565 --> 00:09:50,465 but I'm... I'm through with you. 204 00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:51,964 But I'm a hottie. Everybody online wants me. 205 00:09:51,965 --> 00:09:54,631 Exactly. They want you, the fantasy. 206 00:09:54,632 --> 00:09:56,698 Not me, the real person. It's pathetic, 207 00:09:56,699 --> 00:09:58,698 my screen name has more fun that I do. 208 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:03,598 Hey, you said you wish you could be a beefy, brutal top 209 00:10:03,599 --> 00:10:06,265 instead of a big, nelly bottom. 210 00:10:06,266 --> 00:10:10,432 Well, if I could teach you how to be like me, 211 00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:13,864 will you let me live? 212 00:10:13,865 --> 00:10:15,565 But I'm not like you. 213 00:10:15,566 --> 00:10:17,664 Well... 214 00:10:17,665 --> 00:10:19,465 I came from somewhere, didn't I? 215 00:10:22,433 --> 00:10:25,632 Okay, here we go. 216 00:10:25,633 --> 00:10:29,198 Coming through. Look out, please. 217 00:10:29,199 --> 00:10:30,231 What are his symptoms? 218 00:10:30,232 --> 00:10:32,432 Uh, diarrhea, vomiting, fever. 219 00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:34,432 - Do you know how high? - Just under 102 220 00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:35,498 - the last time we checked. - Yeah, we're... 221 00:10:35,499 --> 00:10:36,731 We're worried about dehydration. 222 00:10:36,732 --> 00:10:39,532 All right, let's get him checked out. 223 00:10:39,533 --> 00:10:41,598 Which one of you is the mother? 224 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,532 - Well... - Well, I'm the birth mother. 225 00:10:43,533 --> 00:10:45,165 Why don't you go back with him then? 226 00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,432 - And you can wait here. - Actually, 227 00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:48,532 we're raising him together. We're a couple. 228 00:10:48,533 --> 00:10:51,665 Well, in that case, do you have adoption papers? 229 00:10:51,666 --> 00:10:53,532 - Adoption? - He means for me. 230 00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:54,665 No, not yet. We plan to file for... 231 00:10:54,666 --> 00:10:56,265 I'm sorry, but we can only allow 232 00:10:56,266 --> 00:10:58,165 the child's legal guardians to go with him. 233 00:10:58,166 --> 00:11:00,864 Fine. Stop talking. Just take him, now, okay? 234 00:11:00,865 --> 00:11:02,598 I'll run back out the minute I know anything. 235 00:11:02,599 --> 00:11:04,766 - Okay. - I love you. 236 00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:25,865 Excuse me, I need to go back there. 237 00:11:25,866 --> 00:11:27,865 You see, my partner forgot our baby's blanket 238 00:11:27,866 --> 00:11:29,532 and I don't want him to be any more upset... 239 00:11:29,533 --> 00:11:33,131 Look, Miss... or whatever you are... 240 00:11:33,132 --> 00:11:35,265 I believe it was already explained to you 241 00:11:35,266 --> 00:11:37,665 that only the child's parents or legal guardians 242 00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:40,565 are permitted to be with him. 243 00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:44,565 And I believe it needs to be explained to you 244 00:11:44,566 --> 00:11:46,598 that I'm the one who loves him, and feeds him, 245 00:11:46,599 --> 00:11:47,632 and walks him, and plays with him, 246 00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:48,765 and changes him, and cleans up his shit, 247 00:11:48,766 --> 00:11:50,799 and wipes up his vomit, and pays the bills, 248 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,231 and... You listen to me. 249 00:11:53,232 --> 00:11:55,332 I stay up half the night worrying 250 00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:57,865 that he will grow up to be happy and healthy 251 00:11:57,866 --> 00:12:00,699 and loved, so don't you dare tell me 252 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,365 I have no right to be with him, 253 00:12:02,366 --> 00:12:06,131 you officious, homophobic cunt. 254 00:12:06,132 --> 00:12:07,665 What's going on? How is he? 255 00:12:07,666 --> 00:12:10,398 I don't... I don't know. They won't let me back there. 256 00:12:10,399 --> 00:12:12,498 - Why? - I'm... I'm not legal, 257 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:15,099 I'm not anything, apparently, except going crazy. 258 00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,365 What is that, your fucking bureaucracy? 259 00:12:17,366 --> 00:12:21,198 Excuse me, this is the father. 260 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,131 - I'll take you back. - Well, she's going too. 261 00:12:23,132 --> 00:12:25,231 No, don't worry, just go, and... 262 00:12:25,232 --> 00:12:28,199 Uh, give this to him. 263 00:12:53,466 --> 00:12:55,632 Not even six months old 264 00:12:55,633 --> 00:12:58,565 and already my kid's a drama queen. 265 00:12:58,566 --> 00:13:00,765 Well, at least you know he's yours. 266 00:13:00,766 --> 00:13:03,332 The good news is he's all right. 267 00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:05,132 Yeah, only I had to go to the hospital myself 268 00:13:05,133 --> 00:13:07,398 because someone left their cell phone off. 269 00:13:07,399 --> 00:13:10,032 I had to deal with my own crisis. 270 00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:11,266 David's throwing a dinner party, 271 00:13:11,267 --> 00:13:13,598 us and two other couples. One of them's straight. 272 00:13:13,599 --> 00:13:15,066 He eats with straight people? 273 00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:18,299 Ick. You never know where their hands have been. 274 00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:21,232 So what's the problem? 275 00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,465 The problem is, what'll I talk about? 276 00:13:23,466 --> 00:13:25,333 - What do we talk about? - What we've done, 277 00:13:25,334 --> 00:13:28,232 who we've done, who we want to do. 278 00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:30,066 These people aren't like us. 279 00:13:30,067 --> 00:13:32,999 They're professors and doctors and things. 280 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,765 We're things. 281 00:13:34,766 --> 00:13:38,632 Ad execs, accountants. 282 00:13:38,633 --> 00:13:41,732 Couturiers to disco trash. 283 00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:44,066 The thing is, after two minutes 284 00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:46,032 it'll be painfully obvious that I don't fit in, 285 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,665 and David'll dump me on the spot. 286 00:13:47,666 --> 00:13:49,565 Then we better get busy. 287 00:13:49,566 --> 00:13:50,765 Right, Professor Higgins? 288 00:13:50,766 --> 00:13:52,665 Right, pickering. 289 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:56,366 We'll turn you from a simple flower girl into a lady. 290 00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:59,599 Speaking of ladies, get to work. 291 00:14:01,267 --> 00:14:04,032 What the fuck are you doing here? 292 00:14:04,033 --> 00:14:06,632 Turning you from a candy-ass into a stud. 293 00:14:06,633 --> 00:14:08,232 Now, let's see you spread 'em. 294 00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:10,233 - Now! - All right. 295 00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:20,132 What's with G.I. Jane? 296 00:14:20,133 --> 00:14:21,166 If he's not careful, 297 00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:22,566 he might actually break a sweat. 298 00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:25,965 Or a nail. 299 00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:32,466 He's down, for a while, anyway. 300 00:14:32,467 --> 00:14:35,600 That's good. Mm. 301 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:42,399 Hon, what are you thinking about? 302 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,166 Hebrew school. 303 00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:49,200 He's still a little young, don't you think? 304 00:14:52,233 --> 00:14:55,232 No, when I was a kid in Hebrew school, 305 00:14:55,233 --> 00:14:58,666 Rabbi Protesh used to say to us, 306 00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:01,099 "if you ever forget you're a Jew, 307 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,499 a non-Jew will remind you." 308 00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:07,132 I always wondered what he meant, 309 00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:10,566 until Emily Meredith called me a "Jap" on the playground. 310 00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:13,633 Oh, that little bitch. 311 00:15:13,634 --> 00:15:16,899 Well, then I knew what he meant. 312 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:19,099 I had forgotten I was different, 313 00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:23,366 until I was so thoughtfully reminded. 314 00:15:23,367 --> 00:15:25,499 Same thing happened at the hospital last night. 315 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:28,633 - Well, they had no right. - Yeah, they did. 316 00:15:28,634 --> 00:15:32,399 They had every right, but we have a right too, 317 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,066 to protect ourselves. 318 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,099 How? 319 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:38,900 We need to talk to Brian. 320 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,533 Miss Manners says, 321 00:15:45,534 --> 00:15:48,299 "always be sure to compliment the hostess." 322 00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:49,999 I am the hostess. 323 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,466 And you look lovely. 324 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,599 Okay. 325 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,599 All right, now. Uh, which fork's for salad? 326 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,366 Go from the outside in. 327 00:16:00,367 --> 00:16:02,999 Hey, I thought you were studying for your calculus exam. 328 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,433 I'm taking a break. 329 00:16:04,434 --> 00:16:06,232 Well, get back to work. 330 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:08,066 Now, where's the bread plate? 331 00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,099 On your left. 332 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:13,067 - Water glass? - On your right. 333 00:16:15,067 --> 00:16:18,232 Well, as long as I only have salad, bread, and water, 334 00:16:18,233 --> 00:16:20,232 I'm all set. 335 00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:23,166 All right, now, topics of conversation. 336 00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:25,333 Uh, stay clear of religion because you never know 337 00:16:25,334 --> 00:16:26,499 where anybody stands. 338 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,866 Avoid politics like the plague, 339 00:16:28,867 --> 00:16:31,533 and, uh, you should probably 340 00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:33,833 steer clear of the economy as well. 341 00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:35,833 Well, so far he should have no trouble. 342 00:16:35,834 --> 00:16:37,499 Mikey's never talked about religion, politics, 343 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,067 or the market in his life. 344 00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:40,466 Well, what do I talk about? 345 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,100 Movies are always a safe bet 346 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:45,101 if you want to appear current without sounding controversial. 347 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,100 I saw X-Men six times. 348 00:16:49,101 --> 00:16:51,366 Yeah, uh, 349 00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:54,199 somehow I suspect that won't "wow" the art house crowd. 350 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,433 Look, you're making too big a deal out of this. 351 00:16:56,434 --> 00:16:59,500 You show up, you talk, you eat. 352 00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:03,933 But these are David's best friends. 353 00:17:03,934 --> 00:17:05,232 You know, I want to make a good impression. 354 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,499 And you will, 355 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,033 you just have to remember a few simple rules. 356 00:17:08,034 --> 00:17:09,833 - Utensils, outside in. - Don't talk about 357 00:17:09,834 --> 00:17:11,200 - anything that matters. - Matters. 358 00:17:11,201 --> 00:17:14,033 Don't talk with your mouth full. 359 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,933 Oh, what if I burp? 360 00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:17,167 Just cover your mouth with your napkin 361 00:17:17,168 --> 00:17:19,133 and say "excuse me" to no one in particular. 362 00:17:19,134 --> 00:17:21,167 Just be yourself, you won't have anything to worry about. 363 00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:25,133 I just know somehow, some way, 364 00:17:25,134 --> 00:17:27,299 I am going to fuck up. 365 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:29,366 Well see, that's what he means. 366 00:17:29,367 --> 00:17:31,299 Be yourself. 367 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,333 Oh, that looks good. 368 00:17:32,334 --> 00:17:33,499 That looks good. 369 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,366 - Put that right there. - Let me talk to him. 370 00:17:35,367 --> 00:17:37,300 - You know how you set him off. - Oh, I promise, 371 00:17:37,301 --> 00:17:40,434 I won't say a word. I won't say anything. 372 00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:45,466 He seems fine to me. 373 00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:48,300 - Aren't you, Sonny Boy? - Thank God, after last night. 374 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,766 Yesterday, life and death, today, tea and cookies. 375 00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:52,334 They're good. 376 00:17:52,335 --> 00:17:54,433 It's a mix. 377 00:17:57,901 --> 00:17:59,900 But it makes you realize how important it is 378 00:17:59,901 --> 00:18:03,033 to be prepared. 379 00:18:03,034 --> 00:18:04,367 For what? 380 00:18:04,368 --> 00:18:07,133 For like what happened with that nurse. 381 00:18:07,134 --> 00:18:09,334 God, she was a real bitch. 382 00:18:09,335 --> 00:18:12,000 Thank you. 383 00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:13,866 Justin, would you like some ice cream? 384 00:18:13,867 --> 00:18:16,801 No, I'm okay. 385 00:18:18,368 --> 00:18:19,467 What are you getting at? 386 00:18:19,468 --> 00:18:22,000 Well, it's something we talked about 387 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:26,100 before Gus was born, only we never got around to doing it. 388 00:18:26,101 --> 00:18:30,267 Melanie would like to petition for second-parent adoption. 389 00:18:30,268 --> 00:18:31,467 What's that? 390 00:18:31,468 --> 00:18:34,033 Well, I'm not Gus' biological parent, 391 00:18:34,034 --> 00:18:36,833 like Lindsay or Brian, 392 00:18:36,834 --> 00:18:39,900 so I need to file papers to make me his legal guardian. 393 00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,200 Only Melanie can't get the process going 394 00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:46,134 until you sign papers agreeing to give up your parental rights. 395 00:18:47,134 --> 00:18:49,733 No way. He's Gus's dad. 396 00:18:49,734 --> 00:18:51,933 No one's denying that. 397 00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:54,966 You know you'll always be part of his life, 398 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,867 in the same way we'll always be a part of each other's. 399 00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:04,867 You don't have to convince me. 400 00:19:04,868 --> 00:19:06,267 Just tell me where to sign. 401 00:19:06,268 --> 00:19:07,866 What? 402 00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:09,167 - Oh. - You mean you're actually 403 00:19:09,168 --> 00:19:10,766 - gonna do it? - Justin. 404 00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:13,300 He'll be better off. What do I have to do? 405 00:19:13,301 --> 00:19:15,900 Sign some papers. I'll have them drawn up. 406 00:19:15,901 --> 00:19:17,966 - You can't. - Would you stay out of this? 407 00:19:17,967 --> 00:19:19,800 You're his father. 408 00:19:19,801 --> 00:19:23,233 And I'm teaching him a lesson: 409 00:19:23,234 --> 00:19:27,368 Don't count on your old man. 410 00:19:55,835 --> 00:19:58,167 What are you doing with your arm? 411 00:19:58,168 --> 00:20:00,000 I call it the "Praise Jesus." 412 00:20:00,001 --> 00:20:02,866 Looks like you're hailing a cab. 413 00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:05,267 I call it the worst dancing I've ever seen. 414 00:20:05,268 --> 00:20:06,734 Who asked you? 415 00:20:06,735 --> 00:20:09,900 Don't get sore. I'm just kidding. 416 00:20:09,901 --> 00:20:11,334 See anyone hot? 417 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,167 I haven't seen so many dogs since 101 Dalmatians. 418 00:20:14,168 --> 00:20:17,734 Hey, what about that guy over there? 419 00:20:17,735 --> 00:20:20,701 I'd like to housebreak him. 420 00:20:20,702 --> 00:20:22,133 I suppose he's all right. 421 00:20:22,134 --> 00:20:23,767 Yeah, translation: We don't have the guts 422 00:20:23,768 --> 00:20:24,635 to go after him. 423 00:20:24,636 --> 00:20:27,268 Speak for yourself, loser. 424 00:20:34,168 --> 00:20:36,734 Well, go for it. 425 00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,233 You made me spill my beer. 426 00:20:38,234 --> 00:20:40,001 - Sorry. - Tell him you'll lick it 427 00:20:40,002 --> 00:20:41,701 - off his chest. - What? 428 00:20:41,702 --> 00:20:43,001 I said you spilled my beer, man. 429 00:20:43,002 --> 00:20:44,600 - Say it. - Uh, I... I'll lick it 430 00:20:44,601 --> 00:20:45,568 off your chest. 431 00:20:45,569 --> 00:20:47,033 I'd rather have a napkin. 432 00:20:47,034 --> 00:20:51,167 Right, right. Oh, here. 433 00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:52,233 Well, what are you waiting for? 434 00:20:52,234 --> 00:20:54,801 - Ask him to go home. Hey, dude. - Hey, dude... 435 00:20:54,802 --> 00:20:56,734 - I never say "dude." - I can tell you want it bad. 436 00:20:56,735 --> 00:20:58,734 I... I... I can tell you want it bad. 437 00:20:58,735 --> 00:20:59,934 What do you say we get out of here and do the nasty? 438 00:20:59,935 --> 00:21:02,167 What do you say we get out of here and... 439 00:21:02,168 --> 00:21:04,001 You know what? I'm... He's making me do this. 440 00:21:04,002 --> 00:21:06,902 Fucking weirdo. 441 00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:11,267 Well, that was the most stunning display of ineptitude 442 00:21:11,268 --> 00:21:13,133 I've ever witnessed. 443 00:21:13,134 --> 00:21:16,268 - Hey, how'd it go? - Fuck off! 444 00:21:26,135 --> 00:21:28,200 Oh, wait. 445 00:21:28,201 --> 00:21:30,868 David, David, David. 446 00:21:32,935 --> 00:21:34,701 At last, the boyfriend. 447 00:21:34,702 --> 00:21:35,767 I'm sorry I'm late. 448 00:21:35,768 --> 00:21:37,901 Nonsense, you're fashionable. 449 00:21:37,902 --> 00:21:40,600 I'm Laura. Listen, I've known David forever. 450 00:21:40,601 --> 00:21:42,934 So if there's anything you need to know about him... 451 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,701 Warning: Do not listen to Dr. Laura. 452 00:21:44,702 --> 00:21:45,734 Oh! 453 00:21:45,735 --> 00:21:47,168 I hate when he calls me that. 454 00:21:47,169 --> 00:21:49,267 - You've got a PhD. - In economics. 455 00:21:49,268 --> 00:21:51,600 Hey, you. 456 00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:53,268 Excuse me, sir, do I know you? You... 457 00:21:53,269 --> 00:21:54,600 Oh, he's funny. 458 00:21:54,601 --> 00:21:57,734 - And adorable. - And adorable. 459 00:21:57,735 --> 00:21:58,967 You see? She thinks you're adorable. 460 00:22:00,269 --> 00:22:02,001 I'm nervous as hell. 461 00:22:02,002 --> 00:22:03,667 Relax. Everybody's going to love you. 462 00:22:03,668 --> 00:22:05,168 What makes you think that? 463 00:22:05,169 --> 00:22:07,835 Because I do. 464 00:22:09,601 --> 00:22:11,735 Go, go, go, go. 465 00:22:19,601 --> 00:22:22,034 "Insouciant." 466 00:22:22,035 --> 00:22:25,234 Unconcerned, nonchalant. 467 00:22:25,235 --> 00:22:28,068 That's what you are. 468 00:22:28,069 --> 00:22:30,169 Insouciant. 469 00:22:33,735 --> 00:22:34,535 "Sycophant." 470 00:22:34,536 --> 00:22:37,134 Uncaring. 471 00:22:37,135 --> 00:22:39,667 That's wrong, it means ass-kisser. 472 00:22:39,668 --> 00:22:42,534 It doesn't say "ass-kisser." 473 00:22:42,535 --> 00:22:46,001 "One who seeks favor by flattery." 474 00:22:46,002 --> 00:22:47,934 Ass-kisser. 475 00:22:47,935 --> 00:22:50,068 Who cares what it says? 476 00:22:50,069 --> 00:22:52,435 How can you give away Gus? 477 00:22:52,436 --> 00:22:54,435 He'll think you didn't want him. 478 00:22:54,436 --> 00:22:55,801 He'll be right. 479 00:22:55,802 --> 00:22:59,934 I don't believe you. 480 00:22:59,935 --> 00:23:02,600 I was there the night Gus was born. 481 00:23:02,601 --> 00:23:03,767 I saw you give him a kiss... 482 00:23:03,768 --> 00:23:05,701 Not everyone's cut out to be a father. 483 00:23:05,702 --> 00:23:07,134 Well, then, what are you gonna tell him, 484 00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:08,901 someday when he's old enough, why you didn't want him? 485 00:23:08,902 --> 00:23:10,834 I'll tell him the truth. 486 00:23:10,835 --> 00:23:13,134 These two dykes I knew wanted a kid really bad, 487 00:23:13,135 --> 00:23:15,435 so I jerked off into a cup. 488 00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:17,801 That's not all there is to it. 489 00:23:17,802 --> 00:23:19,801 A boy needs a father. 490 00:23:19,802 --> 00:23:21,168 - Believe me, I know. - Yeah, well, 491 00:23:21,169 --> 00:23:25,435 you haven't had a father for almost two weeks. 492 00:23:25,436 --> 00:23:29,901 Even if he gets angry, even if he isn't always there, 493 00:23:30,502 --> 00:23:33,101 it's better than not having one at all. 494 00:23:33,102 --> 00:23:36,101 Yeah, don't be so sure. 495 00:23:36,102 --> 00:23:39,468 Your father must have loved you. 496 00:23:39,469 --> 00:23:41,168 He probably just... He didn't know how to show it. 497 00:23:41,169 --> 00:23:44,568 Yeah, he knew how to show it all right, 498 00:23:44,569 --> 00:23:48,767 especially after he'd had a few. 499 00:23:48,768 --> 00:23:51,068 At least he didn't give you away. 500 00:23:51,069 --> 00:23:55,069 - "Garrulous." - Loquacious, chatty. 501 00:23:56,968 --> 00:23:59,735 - Where are you going? - Out. 502 00:23:59,736 --> 00:24:01,368 I thought you were going to help me. 503 00:24:01,369 --> 00:24:04,469 If you want help, call your father. 504 00:24:08,835 --> 00:24:10,967 Whew! When David makes a meal, 505 00:24:10,968 --> 00:24:14,134 - you don't eat for a week. - Before or after. 506 00:24:14,135 --> 00:24:15,135 I didn't know you could cook. 507 00:24:15,136 --> 00:24:17,702 Mm, you do have a lot to learn. 508 00:24:17,703 --> 00:24:18,901 Give him time, and he'll discover 509 00:24:18,902 --> 00:24:20,134 all my little secrets. 510 00:24:20,135 --> 00:24:21,368 Like underwear. 511 00:24:21,369 --> 00:24:22,768 Like... 512 00:24:22,769 --> 00:24:24,368 You have an underwear fetish? 513 00:24:24,369 --> 00:24:25,735 On our last trip together, 514 00:24:25,736 --> 00:24:29,401 he brought an entire suitcase of jockey shorts and socks. 515 00:24:29,402 --> 00:24:30,702 Did you all go somewhere together? 516 00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:32,635 Mm, Tuscany, last fall. 517 00:24:32,636 --> 00:24:35,468 - We rented a house... - It was fabulous. 518 00:24:35,469 --> 00:24:36,967 - And the food! - Oh, she's still 519 00:24:36,968 --> 00:24:38,501 talking about the food. 520 00:24:38,502 --> 00:24:40,501 Try getting six pounds of prosciutto through customs. 521 00:24:40,502 --> 00:24:44,001 - He exaggerates. It was four. - It was six. 522 00:24:44,002 --> 00:24:45,967 - Four. - Six. 523 00:24:45,968 --> 00:24:47,435 Have you ever been to Italy? 524 00:24:47,436 --> 00:24:50,435 Uh, no, but my uncle Vic spent a lot of time there. 525 00:24:50,436 --> 00:24:51,369 Oh, was he on business? 526 00:24:51,370 --> 00:24:54,335 No, AIDS. He went there to die. 527 00:24:54,336 --> 00:24:56,468 Oh. 528 00:24:56,469 --> 00:24:58,335 I'm sorry. 529 00:24:58,336 --> 00:24:59,702 Well, it's not your fault. 530 00:24:59,703 --> 00:25:01,835 He was really sick, so he decided 531 00:25:01,836 --> 00:25:05,435 to take this dream trip to Rome, 532 00:25:05,436 --> 00:25:07,735 and then the protease inhibitors kicked in and... 533 00:25:07,736 --> 00:25:09,501 Now he's at home, and he's fine... 534 00:25:09,502 --> 00:25:10,668 - Oh. - Except for some 535 00:25:10,669 --> 00:25:12,803 occasional diarrhea. 536 00:25:16,003 --> 00:25:19,568 I would really like to take Michael away for a while, 537 00:25:19,569 --> 00:25:22,768 but, you know... well, he works so hard, and, uh... 538 00:25:22,769 --> 00:25:24,335 So what is it that you do, Michael? 539 00:25:24,336 --> 00:25:27,002 Um, I'm in retail. 540 00:25:27,003 --> 00:25:28,301 Really? Where? 541 00:25:28,302 --> 00:25:31,501 Um, the Big "Q." 542 00:25:31,502 --> 00:25:33,668 He just got a promotion. He's a manager. 543 00:25:33,669 --> 00:25:35,668 The Big "Q"? 544 00:25:35,669 --> 00:25:37,035 Eddie, isn't that what people call you? 545 00:25:40,803 --> 00:25:43,902 I've seen those stores, but I've never actually been in one. 546 00:25:43,903 --> 00:25:45,968 They sell everything you can imagine. 547 00:25:45,969 --> 00:25:49,803 But nothing you'd want to buy. 548 00:25:54,302 --> 00:25:56,468 Uh, haven't I seen you there? 549 00:25:56,469 --> 00:25:57,902 Excuse me? 550 00:25:57,903 --> 00:25:59,501 I know I know you from somewhere. 551 00:25:59,502 --> 00:26:00,702 Do you shop at the Big Q? 552 00:26:00,703 --> 00:26:02,335 - Hardly. - Ooh. 553 00:26:05,602 --> 00:26:07,568 Well, the next time we go someplace, 554 00:26:07,569 --> 00:26:08,935 - you must come with us. - Mm-hmm. 555 00:26:08,936 --> 00:26:13,002 - Yeah. - How about Mykonos for July? 556 00:26:13,003 --> 00:26:14,835 Uh, I only get a week off. 557 00:26:14,836 --> 00:26:16,301 Oh, you poor thing. 558 00:26:16,302 --> 00:26:17,835 That is why I love academia. 559 00:26:17,836 --> 00:26:20,601 We professors get the whole summer. 560 00:26:20,602 --> 00:26:22,269 Mm. 561 00:26:22,270 --> 00:26:25,435 I should check the seafood paella. 562 00:26:25,436 --> 00:26:26,535 Is everybody okay with shellfish? 563 00:26:26,536 --> 00:26:27,568 - Mm-hmm. - Yes. 564 00:26:27,569 --> 00:26:28,569 - Fine. Great. - Mm-hmm. 565 00:26:28,570 --> 00:26:30,868 Okay. 566 00:26:30,869 --> 00:26:33,401 That's where I know you from, 567 00:26:33,402 --> 00:26:36,368 from the White Party. You gave me crabs. 568 00:26:44,669 --> 00:26:46,668 Anyone like some more wine? 569 00:26:52,403 --> 00:26:54,369 Ready or not? 570 00:26:54,370 --> 00:26:57,269 You're in a good mood. 571 00:26:57,270 --> 00:27:01,302 The best. 572 00:27:01,303 --> 00:27:04,336 I am finally going to be an officially signed, 573 00:27:04,337 --> 00:27:06,501 sealed, and delivered mom. 574 00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:08,568 Actually, I'm the one who delivered. 575 00:27:08,569 --> 00:27:12,302 Hey, two out of three ain't bad. 576 00:27:12,303 --> 00:27:16,902 And we owe it all to... Oh, Jesus, I can't believe it... 577 00:27:16,903 --> 00:27:19,668 Brian. 578 00:27:19,669 --> 00:27:20,669 I always knew he'd come through. 579 00:27:20,670 --> 00:27:21,835 Mmm. 580 00:27:21,836 --> 00:27:25,436 I was sure he'd tell us to go fuck ourselves. 581 00:27:25,437 --> 00:27:28,537 Well, I'm sure it wasn't easy, I mean, giving up his rights. 582 00:27:35,869 --> 00:27:38,635 He didn't even seem to care. 583 00:27:38,636 --> 00:27:41,702 - Oh, I'm sure he cared. - Uh-huh. 584 00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:45,402 He loves his son, and more than he ever thought. 585 00:27:45,403 --> 00:27:49,635 All that matters is that Gus is finally ours, 586 00:27:49,636 --> 00:27:52,769 both of ours. 587 00:28:23,203 --> 00:28:24,469 God, I've missed touching you. 588 00:28:31,704 --> 00:28:34,769 Oh! Oh! 589 00:28:50,570 --> 00:28:53,503 What's going on, man? 590 00:28:55,670 --> 00:28:57,769 Your bet, Tommy. 591 00:28:57,770 --> 00:29:01,202 If I win this hand, next round's on me. 592 00:29:01,203 --> 00:29:03,235 Oh, the next round's on Tommy. 593 00:29:03,236 --> 00:29:05,235 That means we're going to be dry again tonight. 594 00:29:06,470 --> 00:29:09,537 Call you, raise you 10. 595 00:29:14,170 --> 00:29:17,569 How's it going, Pop? 596 00:29:17,570 --> 00:29:21,803 Better days, and for sure better hands. 597 00:29:21,804 --> 00:29:23,436 Say hello to the guys. 598 00:29:23,437 --> 00:29:24,636 Hello, guys. 599 00:29:24,637 --> 00:29:27,502 I'm out. I was bluffing anyway. 600 00:29:27,503 --> 00:29:30,469 As if you were fooling anybody. 601 00:29:30,470 --> 00:29:31,569 What'll you have, Sonny Boy? 602 00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:32,503 Beer's good. 603 00:29:32,504 --> 00:29:34,169 Hold your fire. 604 00:29:34,170 --> 00:29:37,169 A couple of your best scotches, Spike. 605 00:29:40,403 --> 00:29:42,102 Union Hall. 606 00:29:42,103 --> 00:29:45,069 So how's that fancy job of yours? 607 00:29:45,070 --> 00:29:47,135 My fancy job's just fine. 608 00:29:47,136 --> 00:29:49,169 I can't complain. 609 00:29:49,170 --> 00:29:50,602 Leave the complaining to "the warden." 610 00:29:50,603 --> 00:29:53,670 If it was up to her, I'd never have any fun. 611 00:29:56,437 --> 00:29:59,135 Listen, um... 612 00:29:59,136 --> 00:30:01,703 I'm, uh, a little short, you know, end of the month. 613 00:30:01,704 --> 00:30:03,637 I just, uh... 614 00:30:20,104 --> 00:30:22,436 You're a good boy. 615 00:30:22,437 --> 00:30:24,369 I'm keeping strict accounts, 616 00:30:24,370 --> 00:30:26,469 every goddamn penny. 617 00:30:26,470 --> 00:30:30,103 I know. 618 00:30:30,104 --> 00:30:32,737 Mr. Executive is treating. 619 00:30:41,470 --> 00:30:43,736 And don't you work too hard, now. 620 00:30:43,737 --> 00:30:47,003 Thanks for the advice. 621 00:30:47,004 --> 00:30:49,636 You got to leave some time for the ladies. 622 00:30:51,304 --> 00:30:53,469 Oh, I always leave time for the ladies. 623 00:30:53,470 --> 00:30:55,369 But don't let 'em tie you down, you hear? 624 00:30:55,370 --> 00:30:56,669 Don't worry about me, Pop. 625 00:30:56,670 --> 00:30:58,070 'Cause that's what they all want to do, 626 00:30:58,071 --> 00:30:59,536 no matter what the hell they say. 627 00:30:59,537 --> 00:31:02,737 I think I can handle it. 628 00:31:08,171 --> 00:31:11,070 You know, you... 629 00:31:11,071 --> 00:31:14,969 And me, we... We're a lot alike. 630 00:31:14,970 --> 00:31:17,636 We are. 631 00:31:17,637 --> 00:31:19,969 We weren't meant to settle down. 632 00:31:22,537 --> 00:31:24,969 Sometimes, God damn it, I look in the mirror, 633 00:31:24,970 --> 00:31:27,502 and I say, "Jack Kinney, you dumb son of a bitch, 634 00:31:27,503 --> 00:31:31,569 you should never have been a family man." 635 00:31:31,570 --> 00:31:34,236 Then why did you? 636 00:31:34,237 --> 00:31:37,371 Why'd you marry Mom? Why'd you have me? 637 00:31:40,637 --> 00:31:43,236 Jesus, you're a smart kid. 638 00:31:43,237 --> 00:31:45,337 You mean you never figured it out? 639 00:31:45,338 --> 00:31:49,203 Now, come on, Sonny Boy. Sonny Boy! 640 00:31:49,204 --> 00:31:52,170 You just stay. 641 00:31:52,171 --> 00:31:55,171 Come on, have another drink with your old man. 642 00:31:57,670 --> 00:32:01,236 Come on, have another drink. 643 00:32:01,237 --> 00:32:04,603 Two more. 644 00:32:11,937 --> 00:32:13,537 Everyone thinks I've gone schizo. 645 00:32:13,538 --> 00:32:16,071 Never been so humiliated in my life. 646 00:32:16,072 --> 00:32:17,272 _ 647 00:32:17,338 --> 00:32:18,237 What are you doing? 648 00:32:18,238 --> 00:32:19,403 Deleting you. 649 00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:21,136 Like I should have done to begin with. 650 00:32:21,137 --> 00:32:23,236 Whoa. 651 00:32:23,237 --> 00:32:26,503 Don't I get one last chance? 652 00:32:26,504 --> 00:32:28,070 Think of all the hot sex you've scored 653 00:32:28,071 --> 00:32:31,037 pretending to be me. 654 00:32:36,237 --> 00:32:38,537 Come into my world. 655 00:32:38,538 --> 00:32:42,370 You don't have a world. You have a web. 656 00:32:42,371 --> 00:32:44,504 Sign on. 657 00:32:46,970 --> 00:32:48,437 All right, 658 00:32:48,438 --> 00:32:51,171 but this is your last chance. 659 00:33:20,204 --> 00:33:23,304 So... Which one do we want to talk to? 660 00:33:29,104 --> 00:33:31,337 Him, surfer dude. 661 00:33:31,338 --> 00:33:34,136 - So how's it going? - What are you doing? 662 00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:36,870 He can't hear you. You don't exist here, remember? 663 00:33:36,871 --> 00:33:40,370 You've got to talk through me. 664 00:33:40,371 --> 00:33:43,036 All right. Wow, give a screen name a little power, 665 00:33:43,037 --> 00:33:45,470 he becomes a control freak. 666 00:33:45,471 --> 00:33:47,904 Ask him what he's got on. 667 00:33:47,905 --> 00:33:50,938 What are you wearing, man? 668 00:33:52,071 --> 00:33:53,337 Just the jockstrap. 669 00:33:53,338 --> 00:33:54,870 Wow. 670 00:33:54,871 --> 00:33:56,004 If life were like the Internet, 671 00:33:56,005 --> 00:33:57,804 half of Pittsburgh would be naked. 672 00:33:57,805 --> 00:34:00,036 - Ask him what he's into. - What are you into? 673 00:34:00,037 --> 00:34:04,236 Jacking off, sucking, just for starters. 674 00:34:04,237 --> 00:34:06,870 I could get into that. 675 00:34:06,871 --> 00:34:09,937 - Tell him, um... - I know what to say. 676 00:34:09,938 --> 00:34:13,970 It's what you always say. 677 00:34:13,971 --> 00:34:15,103 I'll throw you down on the bed 678 00:34:15,104 --> 00:34:16,904 and rip that jock-strap off with my teeth. 679 00:34:16,905 --> 00:34:19,071 You're making me so hard. 680 00:34:19,072 --> 00:34:20,470 Then I'd flip you over and I'd slap that tight, 681 00:34:20,471 --> 00:34:23,804 round bubble butt until you beg me to fuck... You. 682 00:34:23,805 --> 00:34:26,403 Yeah, man. You're making me so gorny. 683 00:34:26,404 --> 00:34:29,270 So... so gorny? What does that mean? I don't... 684 00:34:29,271 --> 00:34:30,937 Sorry, typo. 685 00:34:30,938 --> 00:34:32,904 I'm... I'm so horny. 686 00:34:32,905 --> 00:34:36,437 Hey, Pitts, it's me. Where have you been? 687 00:34:36,438 --> 00:34:38,270 Oh, my God, it's "usemyhole27." 688 00:34:38,271 --> 00:34:40,137 Yeah, I'll tell him to fuck off. We're busy. 689 00:34:40,138 --> 00:34:43,138 I still want to be your bottom boy. 690 00:34:46,038 --> 00:34:48,937 E-mail your address. I'll come over. 691 00:34:48,938 --> 00:34:50,004 What? 692 00:34:50,005 --> 00:34:51,804 Cool. 693 00:34:55,172 --> 00:34:57,071 Do you know what you just did? 694 00:34:57,072 --> 00:34:59,204 Yeah. 695 00:34:59,205 --> 00:35:01,104 I got you a date. 696 00:35:01,105 --> 00:35:02,072 - Thanks, Dave. - Okay. 697 00:35:02,073 --> 00:35:04,403 Great dinner, as always. 698 00:35:04,404 --> 00:35:05,371 I'll call you this week, sweetie. 699 00:35:05,372 --> 00:35:09,204 Mwa. Adorable? 700 00:35:09,205 --> 00:35:12,338 - Good night, David, thank you. - Good night. 701 00:35:14,304 --> 00:35:16,404 Okay. 702 00:35:18,238 --> 00:35:19,970 Hey, don't clean up. 703 00:35:19,971 --> 00:35:22,271 It's the least I can do, after the mess I made. 704 00:35:22,272 --> 00:35:24,770 How was I supposed to know that Javier never told Ed 705 00:35:24,771 --> 00:35:26,171 he went to the White Party? 706 00:35:26,172 --> 00:35:28,437 Well, he knows now. 707 00:35:28,438 --> 00:35:30,271 Oh, God. There goes my trip to Mykonos. 708 00:35:30,272 --> 00:35:32,204 - I'm such a jerk. - Oh, you're not a jerk. 709 00:35:32,205 --> 00:35:34,304 I am a jerk. I've never been anywhere, 710 00:35:34,305 --> 00:35:36,204 - I've never done anything. - So what? 711 00:35:36,205 --> 00:35:37,804 I barely made it through one semester 712 00:35:37,805 --> 00:35:39,904 - of community college. - So what? 713 00:35:39,905 --> 00:35:41,970 Like, I don't even know which fucking fork to use. 714 00:35:41,971 --> 00:35:44,037 Michael, it doesn't matter. 715 00:35:44,038 --> 00:35:46,304 It matters to me. 716 00:35:46,305 --> 00:35:49,138 - Come on. - I... I can't, I got to go. 717 00:35:50,272 --> 00:35:53,037 - What? - I forgot my clothes for work. 718 00:35:53,038 --> 00:35:54,404 Michael. 719 00:35:54,405 --> 00:35:56,670 Mi... 720 00:35:57,705 --> 00:35:58,870 Oh. 721 00:36:01,405 --> 00:36:02,704 He's gonna open that door, 722 00:36:02,705 --> 00:36:06,037 take one look at me, and laugh, right in my face. 723 00:36:06,038 --> 00:36:07,171 He liked you online. 724 00:36:07,172 --> 00:36:09,904 Yeah, that's because he thought I was you. 725 00:36:09,905 --> 00:36:11,904 I'm the Cyrano of cyberspace. 726 00:36:11,905 --> 00:36:13,770 Who? 727 00:36:13,771 --> 00:36:16,905 Never mind. 728 00:36:30,671 --> 00:36:32,204 Usemyhole27? 729 00:36:37,671 --> 00:36:41,737 Pitts9x6. 730 00:36:42,838 --> 00:36:44,271 I guess I'm not what you expected. 731 00:36:44,272 --> 00:36:47,737 Well, I was gonna say the same thing. 732 00:36:47,738 --> 00:36:51,837 I mean, I guess you can tell I'm not a big, beefy top. 733 00:36:51,838 --> 00:36:55,104 Do I look like a hungry, submissive bottom? 734 00:36:55,105 --> 00:36:56,870 Well, you sure had me fooled. 735 00:36:56,871 --> 00:37:00,004 I mean, the way you beg to be dominated. 736 00:37:00,005 --> 00:37:04,037 And the way you made me beg. 737 00:37:04,038 --> 00:37:08,072 You're the most ruthless pig master I've ever talked to. 738 00:37:15,138 --> 00:37:16,604 Then what the fuck are you doing 739 00:37:16,605 --> 00:37:19,037 standing in front of me, huh? 740 00:37:19,038 --> 00:37:22,005 Drop to your knees, pussy boy. 741 00:37:25,639 --> 00:37:28,604 Yes, sir. 742 00:37:33,138 --> 00:37:36,904 Emmett, you can't keep losing your key. 743 00:37:40,305 --> 00:37:44,104 Hey, Sonny Boy. 744 00:37:44,105 --> 00:37:46,271 Oh, shit, you went to see your dad. 745 00:37:46,272 --> 00:37:50,204 Hey, stay here and have a drink with your old man. 746 00:37:50,205 --> 00:37:53,272 All right, come on. Come on. 747 00:38:08,205 --> 00:38:10,838 Well, we... We lost the game. 748 00:38:10,839 --> 00:38:13,638 Uh-huh. Lift up your arms. 749 00:38:13,639 --> 00:38:15,204 There we are. 750 00:38:15,205 --> 00:38:17,604 We had a 13-point lead in the last ten minutes. 751 00:38:17,605 --> 00:38:20,839 Atta boy. 752 00:38:23,639 --> 00:38:26,604 And the boys down at electrical, 753 00:38:26,605 --> 00:38:28,805 they might strike. 754 00:38:28,806 --> 00:38:32,604 You don't say. Now your pants. 755 00:38:32,605 --> 00:38:35,005 - There you go. - Yeah, Tony Cattera's 756 00:38:35,006 --> 00:38:36,604 thinking about retiring next spring, 757 00:38:36,605 --> 00:38:38,771 and if he goes, well, you know. 758 00:38:38,772 --> 00:38:41,839 Well, good for Tony. 759 00:38:47,739 --> 00:38:50,906 Now get in. 760 00:39:07,939 --> 00:39:12,105 You should've heard him. 761 00:39:12,106 --> 00:39:16,604 "How's my successful son? 762 00:39:16,605 --> 00:39:20,638 I'm a little short of cash. 763 00:39:20,639 --> 00:39:23,072 Never should have been a family man." 764 00:39:23,073 --> 00:39:27,705 That's ancient history. Now, go to sleep. 765 00:39:27,706 --> 00:39:31,038 He never changes, 766 00:39:31,039 --> 00:39:35,504 not his bullshit, 767 00:39:35,505 --> 00:39:39,439 not his life. 768 00:39:42,472 --> 00:39:46,172 When are you ever gonna learn? 769 00:39:46,173 --> 00:39:49,771 That's all he is. 770 00:39:49,772 --> 00:39:52,839 That's all he can be. 771 00:40:23,906 --> 00:40:25,571 - ♪ Look at that man ♪ - ♪ ooh ooh ♪ 772 00:40:25,572 --> 00:40:29,105 ♪ that man has confidence ♪ 773 00:40:29,106 --> 00:40:31,105 ♪ confidence ♪ 774 00:40:31,106 --> 00:40:33,871 - ♪ look at that man ♪ - ♪ ooh, ooh ooh ♪ 775 00:40:33,872 --> 00:40:37,606 - ♪ that man has style ♪ - ♪ style ♪ 776 00:40:40,106 --> 00:40:45,005 ♪ na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪ 777 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,604 Mm. 778 00:40:48,605 --> 00:40:50,571 What happened to you? 779 00:40:50,572 --> 00:40:53,938 Honey, you name it. 780 00:40:53,939 --> 00:40:55,938 How 'bout you? 781 00:40:55,939 --> 00:40:57,372 Ah, I've been staring at the same guy 782 00:40:57,373 --> 00:40:59,706 for the last three hours. 783 00:41:03,672 --> 00:41:06,605 - Hey. - There you are. 784 00:41:06,606 --> 00:41:08,405 - How'd it go? - This bottom's 785 00:41:08,406 --> 00:41:10,539 on top of the world. 786 00:41:10,540 --> 00:41:12,072 I owe it all to you, dude. 787 00:41:12,073 --> 00:41:14,439 What did I have to do with it, "dude"? 788 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:18,705 And don't worry. I am never gonna delete you. 789 00:41:18,706 --> 00:41:21,706 Delete? Okay, hand over the drugs. 790 00:41:25,673 --> 00:41:28,005 Shut your hole. 791 00:41:28,006 --> 00:41:29,105 Excuse me. 792 00:41:29,106 --> 00:41:30,771 You heard me, pussy boy. 793 00:41:30,772 --> 00:41:33,105 I want you to go downstairs, 794 00:41:33,106 --> 00:41:37,771 and tell that guy that you've been staring at all night 795 00:41:37,772 --> 00:41:42,038 to get down on his knees and service your cock. 796 00:41:42,039 --> 00:41:43,805 What? 797 00:41:43,806 --> 00:41:45,473 Move it. 798 00:41:46,906 --> 00:41:49,972 Move it. 799 00:41:52,872 --> 00:41:54,807 Yes, sir. 800 00:41:56,673 --> 00:42:00,871 ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪ 801 00:42:05,606 --> 00:42:09,871 ♪ na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪ 802 00:42:09,872 --> 00:42:13,572 I had my assistant flag the places for you to sign. 803 00:42:17,740 --> 00:42:19,639 I need a pen. 804 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,839 Oh! Got one. 805 00:42:26,707 --> 00:42:29,807 - There's no ink in there. - I have one. 806 00:42:32,306 --> 00:42:35,305 Here you go. 807 00:42:48,506 --> 00:42:50,939 Brian? 808 00:42:50,940 --> 00:42:53,472 - Oh. - What is it, sweetie? 809 00:42:54,573 --> 00:42:55,872 Honey, I thought you changed him. 810 00:42:55,873 --> 00:42:59,272 I did. Maybe that new formula doesn't agree with him. 811 00:43:04,473 --> 00:43:07,707 Well, I guess we should get on with it. 812 00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:12,872 I changed my mind. 813 00:43:12,873 --> 00:43:15,972 Brian, please don't do this. 814 00:43:15,973 --> 00:43:18,772 I'm not signing it. 815 00:43:18,773 --> 00:43:20,772 We had an agreement. 816 00:43:20,773 --> 00:43:24,672 That was before. Gus didn't exist then. 817 00:43:24,673 --> 00:43:26,605 Oh, God, I knew it. 818 00:43:26,606 --> 00:43:29,305 Brian, you know how important this is to us, 819 00:43:29,306 --> 00:43:30,772 after what happened at the hospital. 820 00:43:30,773 --> 00:43:32,639 Well, I'm sorry for that. That was wrong, 821 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:36,906 but so is giving up my kid. 822 00:43:36,907 --> 00:43:40,673 Isn't that right, Sonny Boy? 823 00:43:52,707 --> 00:43:54,639 Could you use a break? 824 00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:56,405 I'm still working off the paella. 825 00:43:56,406 --> 00:44:00,472 Ooh, I could use a few reps myself. 826 00:44:00,473 --> 00:44:02,640 Come on. 827 00:44:06,340 --> 00:44:07,405 - Look, I want to talk to you... - Michael, I want to about... 828 00:44:07,406 --> 00:44:08,806 No, I gotta talk to you about last... 829 00:44:08,807 --> 00:44:10,505 - I gotta... psh. - You go first. 830 00:44:10,506 --> 00:44:12,539 Look, I know I disappointed you. 831 00:44:12,540 --> 00:44:13,939 No, I let you down. 832 00:44:13,940 --> 00:44:16,173 - I'm an idiot, and I... - I'm a jerk. 833 00:44:16,174 --> 00:44:18,340 I was insensitive. I should have been more sensitive... 834 00:44:18,341 --> 00:44:19,872 I don't really fit in with your friends. 835 00:44:19,873 --> 00:44:21,273 I don't know if I ever will. 836 00:44:21,274 --> 00:44:22,672 When two people live in two separate places... 837 00:44:22,673 --> 00:44:24,206 We're from two totally different worlds. 838 00:44:24,207 --> 00:44:25,505 There's only one thing that we should do. 839 00:44:25,506 --> 00:44:27,139 I know. I agree. 840 00:44:27,140 --> 00:44:29,206 There's no other choice. 841 00:44:29,207 --> 00:44:32,906 So this is it, it's over. 842 00:44:32,907 --> 00:44:36,406 Over? What's over? I want you to move in with me. 843 00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:44,500 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 58925

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