All language subtitles for Queer as Folk (US) - 01x07 - Smells Like Codependence.WEBRip.AAC2.0.H.264-N

Did you see that?

- Kind of hard to miss.
- So gross.

I think it's cool.

I can't believe you're
actually doing this... for him.

- It's not for him.
- I mean,

just because he's your boyfriend
doesn't mean you have to...

He's not my boyfriend.
I don't do boyfriends.

Besides, half the kids in school

have their noses or their ears pierced.

Erica Jacobson even has
her belly button pierced.

Erica Jacobson is a whore.
A... and it's dangerous.

This girl in Texas, her
boyfriend went to kiss her,

his braces got caught
in her tongue ring,

ripped it clear out of her mouth.

Things like that always happen in Texas.

What about that guy with
the stud in his nostril, hmm?

Gangrene set in. He had to
have his entire nose amputated.

Urban legend.

Who's next?

Take off your shirt, honey.

So which one do you want, right or left?

I don't know.

You know, most guys like right.

Okay.

Excuse me, is... is this going to hurt?

Of course.

- Are you ready?
- Mm-hmm.

Ow!

Notice that practically every
guy in here's been cruising us?

I should've warned you. The... clientele

doesn't exactly come here
for the five-star cuisine.

Everybody's always wishing
they had a boyfriend.

We all picture how he'd
look, how he'd sound,

how nice it'd be to have
someone to share your life,

your dreams, your dental floss.

A little disconcerting
when you're trying to eat.

So how come so few of us have one?

That's because we're lying.

Most of us couldn't
commit to a houseplant.

How are we supposed to
commit to having a boyfriend?

You should see what it's
like when Brian comes here.

I'm so sorry, I promised I
would not mention his name

- for ten minutes.
- I'd settle for five.

And you've got to
stop smiling like that.

- Like what?
- Like that.

It makes me want to
come across the table

and eat you like a dessert.

Would you like some whipped
cream with that, sir?

I'd stay away from that onion, honey,

especially if you two are
planning on going at it all night.

Ma, what are you doing here?

Trying to pay my bills.

You got a problem with that?

- This is... this is your, uh...
- Mother.

I'm Debbie, and you're...

Goddamn gorgeous is what you are.

Ma, this is David. And I...

I thought tonight was your night off.

Oh, yeah, Lorraine got food poisoning.

I think it was the shish kabob.

I'm just kidding.

Okay, got to get cranking.

Got a lot of hungry boys to feed.

Jesus, my back is killing me.

Hey.

If you lift from your knees,

takes the pressure off your back.

- You feel that?
- Yeah, I'll remember that.

- You're an angel.
- No, I'm a chiropractor.

You're a doctor?

- Yeah.
- You're dating a doctor?

How long were you planning
on hiding him from me?

As long as I could.

You're coming for dinner tomorrow night.

- He can't.
- I can't?

You got plans. He's got
plans. He's very busy.

- Debbie, I'd love to.
- Good for you.

- I'll see you there, 7:30.
- Okay.

Craig?

Aren't you going to say anything?

Justin's not gay.

Those nude drawings you found,

they're probably just an
assignment for art class.

And the underwear, I'm sure
he just bought it for himself.

It's not his size.

Still, that's no reason
to suspect that he's...

- He told me himself.
- So what?

That doesn't mean anything.
A lot of kids think that.

They're confused, they're scared.

He's not confused. He's not scared.

He knows.

The same way we've always known.

No, no, I have not always known.

- At least suspected.
- No, you've suspected.

He's not gay. He's...

What, sensitive?

Different? Artistic?

He's his own person.

You know, not every
kid is the quarterback

on the football team.

I think you better talk to him.

And say what?

"Your mother thinks
you're a homosexual"?

Before he gets himself into trouble.

Before he exposes
himself to God knows what.

If he hasn't already.

Wait.

You're saying he's doing things?

He's... 17.

How naive can you be?

So why didn't you tell me?

I promised him I wouldn't.

Oh, that's terrific.

Don't I have a right to know
what's going on around here?

- Hey, Justin!
- He's not here.

He says he's going to
Daphne's, but I know he's not.

So where is he?

The other night, I
found him in a gay bar.

I don't fucking believe this, Jen.

- You let him go to these places?
- I had no idea.

Well, I'm putting a
stop to this right now.

There's more.

He's seeing someone.

So who is this kid?
I'll call his parents.

He's not a kid. He's a man.

His name is Brian Kinney.

I say, if it walks like a boyfriend...

Talks like a boyfriend...

Then it must be a boyfriend.

Would you two please shut the fuck up?

I think it's great that
Mikey's got a steady.

He's not a steady. We went out twice.

Around here, that's a
long-term relationship.

Next thing you know,
you'll be exchanging rings.

Mm, and then there'll be one
of those commitment ceremonies

where, like, all 200 of the guests

have slept with one, if not
both, of the happy couple.

Just, um, promise me

you won't wear matching white suits.

There's no way that is
ever going to happen.

Well, then I suggest you watch
out for the warning signs.

What warning signs?

Like when he brings you flowers.

Or invites you away for a
romantic weekend in the country.

Not that you'll see much
beside the bedroom ceiling.

Your shot, Mikey.

Oh, or the most telltale sign of all,

when he meets your mother,

and she invites him over for dinner.

Something the matter?

I lost my grip.

Guess what I got today.

A new bell for your bicycle?

A nipple ring.

Every piece of trash has something

stuck through their ear or their nose

or their belly button or their cock.

What makes you think I'm
even remotely interested

that you have a ring through your tit?

It's late. I got work.

Don't forget about this Friday.

- What's this Friday?
- You're too young to know.

Tell me.

Just some heathen ritual
called "Studs in Suds."

Studs in suds? What's that?

Well...

First they flood the dance
floor at Babylon with soapsuds.

And then everyone strips
down to their undies...

Or less, and dances... Cheek to cheek.

- Sounds awesome.
- It's disgusting.

- See you there?
- Can't wait.

Mm.

You better be there too.

Don't worry.

Guess who's head over heels?

I think you mean "heels over head."

Does Michael have a boyfriend?

That's none of your business.

I just want to know.

Well, don't stick your tit
in where it doesn't belong.

Ow.

Ooh.

That must be Prince Charming.

Make that the Wicked Witch.

What are you doing here?

I'm hungry. Let's go
get something to eat.

I'm going to my mom's, remember?

Oh, right, din-din with Doc. I forgot.

He's going to be here any
minute, so you better go.

What's this?

Chocolate éclairs
from the Big Q bakery.

I bought them for desse...

Wow. It's takes years of practice

to develop technique like that.

Look, I know you don't like him...

Who said I don't like him?

And why do you give a fuck what I think?

I've been saying that for years.

What matters is what you think.

If you like him, that's
all that's important.

Even though he is quite
a bit older than you...

And lives in a world
you know nothing about.

Shut up.

Are you saying he's too good for me?

Nobody's too good for you, Mikey.

You're better than anyone.

Because he happens to think I'm hot.

You know, some people do.

Haven't I always told you that?

I'll get it.

Dave, buddy. We were
just talking about you.

- Really? Hi, Emmett.
- Hi.

Hi.

These are great. My mom'll love these.

Hers are in the car. Those are for you.

The second sign... flowers.

I'll just put these in some water.

Everything all right?

He's allergic to boyfriends
bringing bouquets.

Well, we better go.

Don't want to be late.

Don't forget this.

Have fun, you two.

You said you wouldn't
tell. You promised.

Justin, I had no choice.
I had to tell Daddy.

You lied to me. You said you wouldn't.

It was for your own good.

When I saw you with this Brian...

You keep calling him "this Brian,"

like that's his name. It's just Brian.

When I saw you with Brian...

His arms around you, kissing you...

I couldn't believe it.

Not for the reason you think.

It's not right for a man his age

to be touching you.

To be having sex with you.

And...

Even though you may
think you love him...

I'm sure he doesn't love you.

- That's not true.
- He's an adult.

It's illegal for an adult
to have sex with a minor.

Honey, it's not your
fault. We don't blame you.

We understand this man enticed you.

He didn't entice me. I wanted him.

Justin... God!

Y... you're too young
to know what you want.

Craig, please. You
promised you'd stay calm.

I... I am calm.

What about AIDS?

He wore a condom. I
put it on him myself.

Oh, God! I'm calling the police.

You're not calling anybody.

That's all we need is
for everybody to know.

What, you want this monster,

this child molester to go free?

He didn't molest me,
and I'm not a child.

I love him...

More than anything else in my life.

It's all I want,

is to be with him.

I don't ever want to
hear you say that again.

And you are not to see him.

I'm going to see him. I
don't care what you say.

I don't think so. No,
you're not, Justin.

Hey, Justin!

Have some more carbonara, David.

I'm stuffed, thanks.

Oh, come on. With that body,
you can afford to carbo-load.

Yeah, you must work out all the time.

- Well, when I can.
- Feel those biceps.

I never could resist a hard body.

- Like mother, like son.
- Like uncle.

Like, will you two
please leave him alone?

Next you'll be asking
what kind of car he drives

and how much he makes.

I drive a Jag, and I'm comfortable.

Michael, if you don't marry
this man immediately, I will.

I think I will have a little more.

Me too.

It's like Lady and the Tramp.

Lady and the Tramp?

It's Michael's favorite movie.

When I was nine.

See, Lady and Tramp go on this date

to an Italian restaurant,
and then the waiter...

- Tony.
- What else would his name be?

Brings over this big bowl
of spaghetti and meatballs.

And, um... and they put
their head in the bowl...

They're dogs.

And they come up with this
one single strand of spaghetti.

And then they chew, and they chew and...

They get closer and closer...

Until finally, their lips meet.

It is, in my estimation, the
greatest screen kiss ever.

I... I remember it.

Like this.

That's even better than the movie.

You want to see my old room?

I'd love to see your old room.

And be gentle.

I've been waiting all week to do this.

Me too.

Just hasn't been any time.

I know. It's hard.

Finding the time.

- I got a solution.
- Mm-hmm.

I got a solution.

How'd you like to go away
with me for the weekend?

Huh?

I got a cabin up in the woods.

Will I get to see anything
besides the bedroom ceiling?

Word of honor. What do you say?

Say "yes," you little
asshole, or I'll disown you.

Like I said, it's a very small house.

_

6 Fuller, corner of Tremont.

It should take you ten
minutes... One for every inch.

- You got laid.
- I did not.

Yes, you did. I can always tell.

I thought you and Dave
were having dinner at Deb's.

Dinner's over.

What, did she scare him off?

Actually, she and Vic were
on their best behavior.

That's even scarier.
Listen, you can't stay.

I've got someone coming
over in approximately

7 1/2 inches, so...

I'll see you tomorrow at Studs in Suds.

I can't go.

That's what I came
over here to tell you.

David invited me away
with him for the weekend.

He has a cabin.

Well, what do you know,
just like the boy said...

Flowers, dinner at Mom's,

and now an invitation to the country.

- You're mad.
- Why would I be mad?

I mean, who wants to be
on a crowded dance floor

surrounded by naked
men covered in soapsuds

when you can be breathing
all that fresh, country air?

Just don't forget to take your inhaler,

in case your asthma attacks.

Must have gotten lost.

I told you, 6 Fuller, corner of Tremont.

Now get your ass over here.

I've got this new dildo...

9 inches long, 7 inches round.

I'm going to open up your hole with it,

and then I'm going to fuck you so hard,

your eyes roll back in your head.

You ever considered a
career in phone sales?

Get out of here.

Now what?

Didn't you just call?

That wasn't you?

It's my neck again.

I can barely move it.

Do you want the
periwinkle or the apricot?

Shh.

I think the apricot

goes better with your eyes.

Uh, yeah, I... I think it'll
be better in a couple of days.

Oh, don't worry, I definitely
plan on seeing my chiropractor.

Thanks.

Thanks. Bye.

You know what grows when you lie.

Too bad it's your nose.

I'm entitled to a
couple of personal days.

Michael, you're entitled
to a personal life.

All right, have you got everything?

Uh, five pairs of jeans,

seven shirts, four
sweaters, and ten tees.

- How long are you going for?
- The weekend.

All right.

One change of undies. A pack of condoms.

Tube of lube. There, you're all set.

Remember when my mom
took me to Atlantic City,

and I got sick on all
that saltwater taffy?

Listen to him. He's
got cold feet already.

I'm not getting cold feet.

I just don't know what
you do for a whole weekend.

Well, let's see. First you arrive...

- Then you fuck.
- Then you unpack...

- Then you fuck.
- Then you go berry picking.

Then you fuck.

I mean, after you fuck.

You talk. You get to know each other.

What if I run out of things to say?

What if I say some stupid
remark, and he says,

"why am I up here with this jerk?"

- Or what if...
- Hey, hey.

Would you please stop worrying?

I just want him to like me.

He already does.

He more than likes you.

So you go, and you have a fabulous time.

And bring us back some berries.

That's... Not my berries.

- How much?
- 2,000.

Who knew it would be so
expensive having a kid?

Obviously we didn't.

Can I tell you that I love you to death?

Hmm. You and Melanie really
are after my life insurance.

And that you are exceedingly generous?

Well, you know, I barely have
enough left for Studs in Suds.

Oh, is that this weekend?
You going with Michael?

Michael went to the country
with the proctologist.

- Chiropractor.
- Whatever.

Oh, sounds romantic.

Peaceful walks, cozy fires...

Stepping in bear shit,
being stung by mosquitoes.

I guarantee you, after two days,

he'll wish he was back
here with me in Babylon.

I wouldn't be so sure.

He might actually
like a change of scene,

not to mention someone who
actually wants to be with him.

You know, I told him,

"I'm glad you're going out with Dave."

He can't spend the rest of his life

tricking and going to clubs.

It's time he settled down...

And grew up.

You are so full of shit.

You can't imagine why two people

would want to be together, can you?

The desire to fall asleep
in front of Jay Leno

and argue over whose turn it
is to pick up the dry cleaning?

It's called not wanting to be alone,

knowing that you're loved.

Apparently, a lot of us need that,

including Michael.

So promise me you won't
fuck it up for him.

You ran into my lane, you stupid ass.

I couldn't see you.
I forgot my contacts.

Fag.

Hey, Taylor. Aren't
you gonna take a shower?

I have to finish a paper for Nessler.

You know what a bitch she is.

Don't you wanna check
out all the guys' dicks?

I know how much you like that.

- Hey, what's that?
- Nothing.

Let's see. Where'd you get that?

A piercing parlor on Liberty Avenue.

- Shit, you really are a queer.
- Am not.

Yeah? Then why do you
have a nipple ring?

I wanted it.

Yeah, so your fudge-packing friends

can pull on it while
they're butt-fucking you?

How do you know so much
about what faggots do

unless you are one?

Fight!

Break it up.

- Come on, get up!
- Bitch!

- You fucking son of a bitch.
- Come on, chill out.

Ah!

You fucking... I'll
kill you, you fucking...

Wow.

You really built this place yourself?

Most of it.

I'm good with my hands.

Yeah, I've noticed.

I forgot how good fresh air smells.

When was the last time
you were in the country?

We visited a dairy in the third grade.

That's a long time.

Make yourself at home.

I'm just going to
throw this bag upstairs.

So did you catch that fish
or challenge it to a duel?

I... I caught that with some friends

down in the Florida Keys.

Who's this?

My ex.

Ex-scuba-diving instructor?
Ex-figure-skating partner?

Ex-wife.

She's pretty.

I didn't know you were married.

Yeah, seven years.

And that is my son Hank.

He's 12 now.

He's, uh, living with his mom

down in Oregon.

I don't get to see him too much anymore.

So you weren't always gay?

No, I was always gay.

Just didn't want to admit it.

And being the overachiever that I am,

I figured that, if I worked hard enough,

I could become anything I wanted,

including straight.

So I married Lori.

And for a long time, we were happy.

Built this place together.

But eventually, it became harder to...

To deny who I really was.

Who I am.

So I told her.

I... it was the only fair thing to do.

For either of us.

She must have been really upset.

After we split up...

After we split up, I promised
myself that I would...

Well, that I would be honest with me...

And that I would always be honest

with anyone else that I loved.

Which, I guess, is why I'm telling you.

Whoa.

You all right?

Must be all this fresh air.

♪ wake up ♪

♪ shake yourself awake ♪

♪ you're really here,
so shake yourself awake ♪

♪ are you with me? Are you with me? ♪

♪ Are you listening to me? ♪

Aren't you going to
dive in, join the fun?

I already took a bath,
but if you want to jump in,

I promise I won't look.

You and everybody else.

Hey, you two wallflowers.

Come on in, the suds are great.

Oh, hey. Look what I found.

My rubber ducky.

Quack, quack!

That's pathetic.

I thought Studs in Suds was
your favorite contact sport.

What, a bunch of fags sliding
around in their shorts?

You always seem to enjoy
yourself when Michael's here.

But I guess it's not as much fun scoring

without your little
audience of one, is it?

You know, as the great
French philosopher Roquefort,

or what was it Camembert, once said,

"it is not enough to trick.

Your best friend must
also go home alone."

Fuck you.

I haven't thought about
Michael once tonight.

Hey, what do you know?
Just like when he's here.

♪ Are you listening to me? ♪

Uh, uh, uh.

Wash my back.

Hey. Remember me?

Why? Should I?

We did it at the baths
a couple weeks ago.

I must have been very desperate.

Fuck you.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Fuck you!

What are you doing, you crazy fuck?

Oh, God, that was incredible.

And they said I'd never be
any good at outdoor sports.

Oh.

Oh, don't go, don't go.

Okay, but I have to warn
you, a girl scout troop

- comes through here every day.
- Holy shit.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

We can stay here forever, if you like.

I'd like.

You know, I was really nervous

about coming up here this weekend.

Oh?

But it turns out I had no reason to be.

Good.

So we can go away
together again sometime.

Maybe.

- You ever been skiing?
- Not really.

When was the last time
you were in New York?

Like, never.

London? Paris? The Amalfi Coast?

- Try Atlantic City, 1983.
- Michael. Michael.

There's a whole world
outside Liberty Avenue.

I'd like to show it to
you, if you'd let me.

But first...

We swim.

Come on. Come on.

Whew. Whoa.

I'll be right there.

Guess what I'm doing.

Uh, rubbing pink stuff all
over the poison ivy you got

when that bear chased
you through the woods.

Basking in the afterglow
of having just made love

to David under a tree, asshole.

That sounds like Falcon Video Pac 77:

Man's Country.

It was incredible.

I've never had sex outdoors before.

Sure, you did.

In the back alley behind Babylon.

I don't mean the kind
that takes five minutes

with your pants around your knees

and your butt against the bricks.

So how was your weekend?

- Dandy.
- Yeah?

- How was Studs in Suds?
- Bubbly.

Too bad you weren't there.

Okay, what's going on?

- Nothing.
- You can't fool me.

Out with it.

Only if you promise

you won't let it spoil your weekend.

Michael, hurry up. Come on, it's warm.

Right there! What?

I was in an accident, that's all.

What kind of accident?

I wouldn't fuck this scumbag,
so he rammed my Jeep...

Twice.

Christ! Are you okay?

I have a minor head
wound and a concussion.

- Oh, my God!
- Now, you promised

you wouldn't let it spoil your weekend,

so don't you even think
about cutting your trip short

and coming back here.

You and Doc just enjoy
your poke in the pines.

Bye, Mikey.

Are you coming in?

What... What's up?

I have to go back.

My God, what happened to the car?

Some asshole in a Jeep backed into me.

Did... did you get his information?

It was dark, honey.

He drove off before I could see him.

Where are you going?

Out.

No, you're not leaving this house.

What, so now I'm a prisoner?

I heard what happened at school,

Justin, yesterday.
Your principal called.

So?

So now you're flaunting
yourself in front of everyone?

I was not "flaunting" myself, Dad.

Besides, Chris Hobbs is
the one who started it.

You know what? I don't
care who started it.

You're not going back there.

What?

We're sending him away to school.

It's time you learned some discipline.

How to be a man.

I know all about discipline.

And you should see
me take it like a man.

Craig!

It's all right, Mom. It didn't hurt.

If you want to hit me, go right ahead.

Only I'm not going to cry
like some little faggot.

And if you want to send me
away, that's all right too.

'Cause I bet more butt-fucking
goes on in boarding school

than in the back room of Babylon.

But whatever you do,
it's not going to matter

'cause I'll still be your queer son.

Have some tea.

Ah, it's too hot.

Here, put this ice bag on your head.

That's too cold.

What are you, Goldilocks?

Time for your temperature. Roll over!

You're not sticking
that thing up my ass.

Jeez, that accident must
have really jarred your brain.

It wasn't an accident. That
asshole kept ramming me.

- Did you get his license?
- It was dark.

What kind of car was it?

I don't know, some silver thing.

Oh, my God, it was my dad.

- I know it.
- What?

I saw his car. It was totally smashed.

Hmm, now why would your
father do something like that?

Because my mom told him everything.

He wants to have you
arrested and send me away.

Don't be a drama princess.

You better be careful, just in case.

Don't worry about me, I'm invincible.

Yeah, you also got a concussion.

Well, fuck it. It's party time.

♪ Good times out on the floor ♪

♪ good times, give me some more ♪

♪ good times ♪

Come on, Teddy, shake your groove thang.

♪ Good times ♪

♪ give me some more ♪

♪ come on ♪

Hey, guys. Join the party.

I thought you were really hurt.

I am.

Michael insisted we come right back.

I told you not to.

I know, but...

Don't go after him, Mikey.

Don't ever go after anyone.

Sorry.

- For what?
- Brian.

I know what it's like,
his manipulations.

He gets a real kick
out of that, doesn't he?

You know, I should just turn,
walk away, and never come back.

Well, that's one option.

Unless, of course, you think
Michael's worth fighting for.

Which is what you're
going to have to do.

Thanks for the advice.

I like doing pro bono work.
Reminds me I have a heart.

What is it with Brian Kinney?

I mean, sure, he's good-looking,

but a lot of guys are good-looking.

And he's got his fucking charm,

but we all have that when we want it.

But what is it with him?

I don't know. Lindsay says it's that

he'll do anything, say anything,

fuck anything.

No excuses, no apologies, no regrets.

In other words, he doesn't give a shit.

♪ Get it out on the floor ♪

♪ Get it out on the floor ♪

♪ get it out on the floor ♪

There's David.

Is there some room on
your dance card for me?

- Sure.
- Not you.

You.

Why, Doc, I thought you'd never ask.

Man, David looks hot.

Why is he dancing with Brian?

You don't dance half bad.

I dance damn good. Haven't
done it for a while.

You should go out more often.

Yeah, well, there's nothing
here that interests me.

Then why are you here?

I came to see you.

You know, for a guy that
was on death's doorstep,

you made a remarkable recovery.

Well, I believe in the power of prayer

and drugs.

I told Mikey you'd be all right,

but he had to come running back.

What can I say? He's a sweetheart.

That's because you're
all that matters to him.

You're his world, his life.

Everything he thinks about,
everything he dreams of,

everything he knows.

He's my best friend, since we were 14.

That's 16 years of waiting.

He's been waiting so long,
he actually thinks he's happy.

But you and I both know
that he's never going to get

what he really wants, is he?

And what is that, Doc?

For you to fuck him.

And don't tell me you don't know it,

and you love knowing it, don't you?

You've been around for what, a week?

You think you know him?

You don't.

I'd like to.

But I never will, as
long as you're around.

Maybe I should just disappear.

You'd probably like that,

and he probably wouldn't
think twice about it.

But I'm not going to.

I'm not going to disappear.

Because I want him...

Even more than you don't
want me to have him.

So if you're really his best friend,

give him a chance to be happy.

To have a life.

His own life.

Let him go.

- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -