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I find the man
164
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a complete and total abomination.
165
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[Chuckles]
Says Sparks is an abomination.
166
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And I'm proud that you
sent that letter
167
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to that dreadful man.
168
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If he can even read.
169
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,367
[Chuckles]
Yeah. I don't know.
170
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Honey, I hope you know
how disappointed we all are
171
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that you can't make it
down here for the big bash.
172
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Well, if I'm ever going to
fill that ����������'s chair
173
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,567
when you become Senator,
I'd better finish my thesis.
174
00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:03,467
By God, darling,
you're starting to sound
175
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like a politician already.
176
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I love you, daddy.
177
00:07:06,734 --> 00:07:07,901
You, too, baby doll.
178
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You come home as soon as you can,
now, you hear?
179
00:07:09,701 --> 00:07:10,567
Bye-bye.
180
00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:15,501
She says she's not entirely
sure Sparks can read.
181
00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:17,601
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
182
00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:19,200
What you got there?
183
00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:20,567
Um, well, sir--
184
00:07:20,634 --> 00:07:23,901
�����, �����, I thought you
gentlemen might like some tea.
185
00:07:23,968 --> 00:07:25,000
There you go.
186
00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:26,000
Thank you, Emily.
187
00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:27,033
Now, shall I pour?
188
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,033
That would be lovely.
189
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,033
No, thank you, dear.
190
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,300
No, thank you, Mrs. �������.
191
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:31,834
Oh, well, all right, then.
192
00:07:31,901 --> 00:07:32,834
����������,
193
00:07:32,901 --> 00:07:35,167
I'm afraid the polls are very bad.
194
00:07:35,234 --> 00:07:36,934
Oh, isn't that a shame?
195
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And they're such lovely people.
196
00:07:41,033 --> 00:07:42,534
I forgot the spoons.
197
00:07:42,601 --> 00:07:44,467
I'm going to run in
the kitchen and get them.
198
00:07:44,534 --> 00:07:46,100
No, dear, we'll be fine.
199
00:07:46,167 --> 00:07:47,434
Oh, but, darling,
how will you stir your tea?
200
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:48,467
Thank you.
201
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,834
I'll be leaving now.
202
00:07:49,901 --> 00:07:51,701
All right, if you gentlemen
need anything else, now,
203
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:52,868
you just feel free to call.
204
00:07:52,934 --> 00:07:54,200
Thank you, Emily.
205
00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:56,367
Actually, we'd rather
not be disturbed.
206
00:07:58,100 --> 00:07:59,534
Oh, yes, of course.
207
00:07:59,601 --> 00:08:01,534
As you wish, �����.
As you wish.
208
00:08:01,601 --> 00:08:03,167
[Doors close]
209
00:08:03,234 --> 00:08:05,033
She's quite a woman, sir.
210
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:11,033
In your next campaign spot,
211
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:13,534
we want to portray the �������s
212
00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:17,801
as your typical
normal American family.
213
00:08:22,467 --> 00:08:23,901
Now, the question is,
214
00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:26,367
can I eat this banana
and still be a gentleman?
215
00:08:26,434 --> 00:08:27,634
What do you think, huh?
216
00:08:27,701 --> 00:08:29,334
Both:
I say go for it, ����!
217
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,334
Go!
218
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,901
What's going on here?
219
00:08:31,968 --> 00:08:33,334
You boys realize what time--
220
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,734
How many times have I told you
221
00:08:34,801 --> 00:08:36,300
not to watch this moronic show?
222
00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:38,100
You do this just to gall me,
don't you?
223
00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:40,000
Come on, dad, it's almost over,
224
00:08:40,067 --> 00:08:41,734
and ����'s totally awesome!
225
00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:43,367
And totally unsuitable
for children!
226
00:08:45,501 --> 00:08:47,434
Don't--
Leave that off, young man!
227
00:08:47,501 --> 00:08:50,067
Listen to me!
228
00:08:50,133 --> 00:08:51,801
Robby-- That's it!
229
00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:54,868
You're grounded for one week.
230
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:57,434
You can forget about coming
to my party Saturday night.
231
00:08:57,501 --> 00:08:59,667
[���� voice]
Oh, ����������, I'm crushed.
232
00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:08,300
Your dad's pissed.
233
00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:10,467
Yeah?
234
00:09:10,534 --> 00:09:13,968
Wait till he sees who I
invited to his stupid party.
235
00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:16,501
Hey, I'm talking about
a wild girl here.
236
00:09:16,567 --> 00:09:18,501
All: How wild, ����?
237
00:09:18,567 --> 00:09:19,734
I mean wild!
238
00:09:19,801 --> 00:09:22,434
When she licked the stamp,
Elvis started smiling.
239
00:09:22,501 --> 00:09:24,200
[Laughter]
240
00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:25,501
Well, that's it, folks.
241
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:27,801
I'll see you Monday,
when our topic will be...
242
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,868
"������ ���� 10 ������ ����...
243
00:09:29,934 --> 00:09:31,834
������ �� ���� �� �� ���� �� ����?"
244
00:09:31,901 --> 00:09:34,634
But just remember, folks...
245
00:09:34,701 --> 00:09:36,734
every man has his tale of woe.
246
00:09:36,801 --> 00:09:40,033
Unfortunately, in life,
there's more woe than tale.
247
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:42,267
[Applause]
248
00:09:43,868 --> 00:09:46,667
And... clear.
249
00:09:46,734 --> 00:09:49,501
That was a great show.
250
00:09:49,567 --> 00:09:51,367
I got to go talk to ����.
251
00:09:51,434 --> 00:09:53,067
[Sighs]
252
00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:54,667
Dad!
253
00:09:54,734 --> 00:09:56,901
����! Hey, what a surprise!
254
00:09:56,968 --> 00:09:59,634
Hey, did you see the show?
Pretty crazy, huh?
255
00:09:59,701 --> 00:10:01,200
Crazy's a good way to describe it.
Yeah.
256
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,701
Listen, I just wanted
to remind you,
257
00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:03,968
the band's playing down
at the cellar door
258
00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:05,000
in the village this weekend.
259
00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:06,634
I'll be there.
Are you kidding?
260
00:10:06,701 --> 00:10:08,400
Wild horses couldn't keep me away.
261
00:10:08,467 --> 00:10:09,467
Unless they're at the track.
262
00:10:09,534 --> 00:10:11,968
No, I promise you,
I'll be there, OK?
263
00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:13,067
How are you guys doing?
264
00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:14,300
Great. Great.
265
00:10:14,367 --> 00:10:16,167
Our manager thinks we're
ready for the big-time.
266
00:10:16,234 --> 00:10:18,234
Big-time, huh?
Hey, watch out for managers.
267
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,534
I had a manager once.
268
00:10:19,601 --> 00:10:21,100
He booked me so far out in the woods,
269
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:24,100
my act was reviewed
in Field and Stream.
270
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,267
Hey, have a bite to eat.
271
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:27,000
Come on, we'll have a bite to eat.
272
00:10:27,067 --> 00:10:29,801
Oh, you know, I got this--
I got this appointment.
273
00:10:29,868 --> 00:10:32,434
Appointment?
At this hour, huh?
274
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:33,834
Do me a favor, will you?
275
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:36,267
When you get to the good parts,
think of me, OK?
276
00:10:36,334 --> 00:10:37,267
Here, you need some bread?
277
00:10:37,334 --> 00:10:38,901
- Oh, no, I'm OK.
- You're sure?
278
00:10:38,968 --> 00:10:42,033
Dad, you don't have to
support the whole world, OK?
279
00:10:44,133 --> 00:10:45,467
See you this weekend.
280
00:10:45,534 --> 00:10:46,968
����, Miller's on the warpath again.
281
00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:48,601
We gotta get out of here.
282
00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:50,901
Sandy, do you think my kid likes me?
283
00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:52,567
����? Of course.
Why?
284
00:10:52,634 --> 00:10:54,234
I don't know.
Sometimes I get the feeling
285
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:55,767
he don't respect what I do.
286
00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,033
Oh, come on.
What's not to respect?
287
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,834
I mean, how many kids
can say their father
288
00:10:58,901 --> 00:11:01,033
can eat a banana between
a woman's breasts, huh?
289
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:02,734
Huh. You got a point there.
290
00:11:02,801 --> 00:11:04,567
In fact, you got 2 points there.
291
00:11:04,634 --> 00:11:05,801
Come on.
292
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,667
����, this special delivery
came for you today.
293
00:11:09,734 --> 00:11:11,000
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
294
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:12,167
Well, what's this,
295
00:11:12,234 --> 00:11:14,400
another hate letter from
that ���������� in Georgia?
296
00:11:14,467 --> 00:11:16,467
No. It's an invitation
to the campaign ball.
297
00:11:16,534 --> 00:11:18,300
Ha! Look at that.
It's 1,000 bucks a head.
298
00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:21,234
Go to Atlanta to see a bunch
of stiffs? No, thanks.
299
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,868
The only stiff I want
to see is when I'm naked.
300
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:27,801
Well, Mr. Degenerate.
301
00:11:27,868 --> 00:11:30,334
I see you managed to put on
another fiasco tonight.
302
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,534
You know, Miller,
303
00:11:31,601 --> 00:11:35,033
you're the only white guy
I know with a brown nose.
304
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:37,367
Very good.
Laugh it up, funny man,
305
00:11:37,434 --> 00:11:39,501
but you lost another sponsor tonight,
306
00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:42,334
and Mr. Spencer just downed
a year's supply of prozac.
307
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,701
He wants to see you in his office.
308
00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:45,734
Now.
309
00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:53,234
Hello, ����.
310
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,767
Good to see you.
311
00:11:54,834 --> 00:11:56,334
You know what this is?
312
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,734
Yeah. A healthy girl
laying on her back.
313
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,667
[Chuckles]
Close.
314
00:12:01,734 --> 00:12:05,467
No, it's a history
of your ad revenue report.
315
00:12:05,534 --> 00:12:07,868
Notice there's a lot
of peaks and valleys.
316
00:12:07,934 --> 00:12:09,901
A lot more valleys than peaks
317
00:12:09,968 --> 00:12:14,667
because your show has evolved
into a parade of freaks,
318
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,434
a carnival for the unfortunate,
319
00:12:17,501 --> 00:12:20,334
a tits-and-ass burlesque show.
320
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,667
����:
Oh, but the fans love it!
321
00:12:22,734 --> 00:12:23,667
Yeah?
322
00:12:23,734 --> 00:12:25,234
Well, the sponsors hate it.
323
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,367
They hate it.
324
00:12:26,434 --> 00:12:27,901
What, is there an echo here?
325
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,300
We've been through this before,
����,
326
00:12:33,367 --> 00:12:34,767
many times.
327
00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:37,033
It's my job to keep
the sponsors happy,
328
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,701
and they're not happy, so...
329
00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:42,100
your show is coming to an end.
330
00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:43,100
What?!
331
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:44,100
You're going to cancel us?
332
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:45,601
Oh, come on, we can work it out.
333
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:47,601
Not this time, ����.
334
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:48,834
I'm sorry.
335
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:49,901
Wait a second!
Wait a second!
336
00:12:49,968 --> 00:12:52,434
Excuse me, Mr. Spencer,
337
00:12:52,501 --> 00:12:54,901
But this is bullshit!
338
00:12:54,968 --> 00:12:57,567
And we all know that if it
wasn't for ���� ������,
339
00:12:57,634 --> 00:12:59,033
None of us would be here right now.
340
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,601
I mean, the man's a friggin' pioneer.
341
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:03,400
He invented tabloid talk format
342
00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:05,033
and made this network
what it is today.
343
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:06,334
I did that?
344
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,968
How dare you talk
to Mr. Spencer that way!
345
00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:11,968
Mr. Spencer is responsible
for this network's success,
346
00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:13,701
and no one else.
347
00:13:13,767 --> 00:13:15,634
Why, he is a programming genius.
348
00:13:15,701 --> 00:13:17,133
Shut up.
Look...
349
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,567
Next week are ratings sweeps.
350
00:13:19,634 --> 00:13:21,567
Let us book some real
big names on the show
351
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,300
and change the show's format.
352
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:25,801
I'm afraid it's too late.
It's beyond repair.
353
00:13:25,868 --> 00:13:27,467
Totally beyond repair.
354
00:13:27,534 --> 00:13:29,467
Miller...
355
00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:30,534
Yes, sir?
356
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,367
I want you to go over there
in the corner,
357
00:13:32,434 --> 00:13:33,901
face the wall, and count to 100.
358
00:13:33,968 --> 00:13:34,901
But, sir--
359
00:13:34,968 --> 00:13:36,067
Make it 200.
360
00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:37,067
Yes, sir.
361
00:13:37,133 --> 00:13:38,934
OK.
362
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,100
1 Mississippi...
363
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,234
2 Mississippi...
364
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:45,300
Mr. Spencer, you
and ���� go way back.
365
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:46,567
You owe him one.
366
00:13:52,434 --> 00:13:54,167
You're right.
367
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:57,100
We do go back a long way.
368
00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:58,634
A long way.
369
00:13:58,701 --> 00:14:01,000
All right, ����,
I'll give you another week,
370
00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:02,501
but I want a total transformation.
371
00:14:02,567 --> 00:14:03,968
Oh, you got it!
372
00:14:04,033 --> 00:14:06,901
Thanks, Spence. I take back
everything I said about you.
373
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,567
Thank you, Mr. Spencer.
374
00:14:09,634 --> 00:14:10,567
Yeah.
375
00:14:10,634 --> 00:14:11,968
Sir!
376
00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:14,167
You can't be serious about
giving him another chance.
377
00:14:14,234 --> 00:14:16,100
Sparks is an embarrassment
to the network.
378
00:14:16,167 --> 00:14:18,734
I want to give him the benefit
of going out with a fight.
379
00:14:18,801 --> 00:14:20,033
But, sir, I really don't think--
380
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:22,267
No, you don't, Miller.
Everyone says that about you.
381
00:14:22,334 --> 00:14:25,434
You know, that girl was
right about Wallace Sparks.
382
00:14:25,501 --> 00:14:27,701
We go back a long way.
383
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,868
I mean, there's a code of ethics
384
00:14:29,934 --> 00:14:32,400
among old friends
in the broadcasting business
385
00:14:32,467 --> 00:14:34,234
that you young punks
wouldn't understand.
386
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:36,300
It's about loyalty and respect.
387
00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:38,767
OK, fine. Fine.
What if he fails?
388
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:39,868
He's out on his ass.
389
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:42,734
"Mr. Degenerate."
390
00:14:42,801 --> 00:14:46,267
Huh.
"Totally beyond repair."
391
00:14:46,334 --> 00:14:49,133
Hey, I got a bootleg tape
of that hot new porno queen
392
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,834
I was telling you about.
393
00:14:50,901 --> 00:14:52,901
She'd make a great
guest on the show.
394
00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:01,767
Where is she?
395
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,567
She'll be up in a minute.
396
00:15:03,634 --> 00:15:05,367
More of Joey's home movies?
397
00:15:05,434 --> 00:15:07,167
I thought this was supposed
to be a staff meeting.
398
00:15:07,234 --> 00:15:08,801
In a minute.
We're busy here.
399
00:15:08,868 --> 00:15:11,934
All right, Joey,
book her on the show.
400
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,267
You haven't even seen her yet.
401
00:15:13,334 --> 00:15:14,400
How do you know if
she's the right girl?
402
00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:16,567
She's the right girl.
403
00:15:16,634 --> 00:15:19,067
That is it!
404
00:15:19,133 --> 00:15:20,934
This is our asses on the line.
405
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,200
If we don't clean up our act,
406
00:15:22,267 --> 00:15:24,100
we're all going to lose our jobs.
Hello?
407
00:15:24,167 --> 00:15:26,601
From now on, no more porno stars,
408
00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:28,300
and no more stupid shows
409
00:15:28,367 --> 00:15:30,267
with alien lesbian
Elvis impersonators.
410
00:15:30,334 --> 00:15:32,801
I thought that was
one of our best shows!
411
00:15:32,868 --> 00:15:35,434
When, Robby, when are
you going to grow up?
412
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,067
When I was your age,
413
00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:39,634
I went to school,
and I held down a job.
414
00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:41,968
And you didn't have any Nintendo...
415
00:15:42,033 --> 00:15:45,534
and you had to walk 5 miles
every day without any shoes--
416
00:15:45,601 --> 00:15:47,200
And I respected my elders.
417
00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:48,801
And I respected my elders!
418
00:15:48,868 --> 00:15:51,300
That's because your daddy
put you in military school.
419
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,300
Our family has attended
that fine institution
420
00:15:53,367 --> 00:15:55,300
ever since our great-great-
great-great-granddaddy
421
00:15:55,367 --> 00:15:57,167
Colonel Bufford �������
founded that school!
422
00:15:57,234 --> 00:15:58,167
�����:
We're ready now.
423
00:15:58,234 --> 00:16:00,167
I'm not going to that stupid school.
424
00:16:00,234 --> 00:16:01,167
Mom, tell him!
425
00:16:01,234 --> 00:16:02,300
Mom, tell him he is going.
426
00:16:02,367 --> 00:16:04,567
�����, perhaps if you
spent some time with him,
427
00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,234
I mean, he needs your guidance.
428
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,467
He needs what my daddy
used to give me.
429
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,534
A good old-fashioned
kick in the aspidistra!
430
00:16:10,601 --> 00:16:11,534
Director:
Action!
431
00:16:11,601 --> 00:16:12,567
What?
432
00:16:12,634 --> 00:16:15,200
How do you do?
I'm ���������� ����� �������.
433
00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:17,334
I'm here at home
with my wonderful family.
434
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,234
I'd like you to meet
my charming wife Emily.
435
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,300
I'm sorry that our daughter
������� can't be with us.
436
00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:24,934
She's away at school studying hard
437
00:16:25,033 --> 00:16:27,934
to one day follow in the great
������� family tradition.
438
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,701
And over here is our fine son Robby.
439
00:16:31,767 --> 00:16:32,968
The ������� family name
440
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:36,400
has always stood for good,
wholesome American values,
441
00:16:36,467 --> 00:16:37,601
So, remember...
442
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:40,667
a vote for ����� �������
is a vote for family.
443
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:41,667
Director:
Cut!
444
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,334
Smile!
Beautiful.
445
00:16:45,434 --> 00:16:47,434
Look, you'd better come up
with something quick,
446
00:16:47,501 --> 00:16:49,000
or we're going to end up like this guy.
447
00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:50,000
Hey!
448
00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:52,601
Hey, ����, I could
use a little change.
449
00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:55,067
Yeah? Why don't you try Paris, huh?
450
00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:58,033
Here, take this.
Go ahead.
451
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,033
[Whistling]
Over here!
452
00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:03,334
Sorry, lady.
453
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:04,634
Hey, taxi!
454
00:17:04,701 --> 00:17:06,634
Hey, you're ���� ������.
I'm your biggest fan.
455
00:17:06,701 --> 00:17:07,834
Hey, how you doing?
456
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:09,501
Uh, we're in a hurry.
Take us to Soho.
457
00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:10,534
You got it, lady.
458
00:17:10,601 --> 00:17:13,334
Hey, look at that!
���� ������! Hey, hey!
459
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,234
Driver: Let's go here!
What is this?
460
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:22,834
Ahh!
461
00:17:22,901 --> 00:17:24,634
Hey, ����, my name is Tony.
462
00:17:24,701 --> 00:17:26,400
I can't believe you're here.
463
00:17:26,467 --> 00:17:29,100
Wait'll I tell the guys
I had you in my cab.
464
00:17:29,167 --> 00:17:31,367
Hey, Tony, first of all,
you never had me...
465
00:17:31,434 --> 00:17:33,200
Ha ha ha!
You kill me!
466
00:17:33,267 --> 00:17:35,467
And if you did have me,
it wouldn't be in a cab.
467
00:17:35,534 --> 00:17:38,267
This guy kills me!
He kills me!
468
00:17:38,334 --> 00:17:39,634
Hey, ����...
469
00:17:39,701 --> 00:17:41,434
I went out with a girl
last night,
470
00:17:41,501 --> 00:17:42,701
and, boy, was she ugly.
471
00:17:42,767 --> 00:17:44,701
Oh, go ahead.
How ugly, huh?
472
00:17:44,767 --> 00:17:46,501
She went to the plastic surgeon,
473
00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:48,200
he added a tail!
474
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,000
Ha ha ha!
All right.
475
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:52,100
Uh, Tony, don't lose
your hack license, huh?
476
00:17:52,167 --> 00:17:53,434
Oh ho ho!
477
00:17:53,501 --> 00:17:56,267
����, Spencer says he wants
a total transformation, OK?
478
00:17:56,334 --> 00:17:59,000
That means we got to have
more newsworthy guests.
479
00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:01,501
Tonight is ���������� �������'s
campaign ball
480
00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:02,634
down in Atlanta.
481
00:18:02,701 --> 00:18:03,868
Listen to what he wrote you.
482
00:18:03,934 --> 00:18:06,567
He says here he's sorry
about the letter he sent you,
483
00:18:06,634 --> 00:18:08,834
and he's actually a really big fan
484
00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:11,534
and thinks it would be "awesome"
to meet you in person.
485
00:18:11,601 --> 00:18:12,601
He said "awesome"?
486
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:13,834
No kidding.
487
00:18:13,901 --> 00:18:15,234
Yeah. Maybe we could get him
to be a guest on the show.
488
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,300
Think of it--
489
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:18,267
"Moral majority ����������
meets ���� ������."
490
00:18:18,334 --> 00:18:19,934
Oh, Sandy, come down to earth,
will you?
491
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,434
The ����������, he's not
going to do my show.
492
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:22,767
Oh, come on,
what have we got to lose?
493
00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:24,067
You know, let's go
down there and find out.
494
00:18:24,133 --> 00:18:26,234
Yeah, ����. Why don't you
go down and find out?
495
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:27,567
You think I should go, huh?
496
00:18:27,634 --> 00:18:28,567
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
497
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,534
What am I asking him for, huh?
498
00:18:31,601 --> 00:18:33,501
I don't know about Atlanta.
I don't want to go.
499
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:35,501
Oh, come on, ����,
don't go soft on me.
500
00:18:35,567 --> 00:18:38,467
Ooh, I hate when a woman
says that to me.
501
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:41,033
OK, Atlanta, here we come, all right?
502
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:43,000
You talked me into it.
503
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:44,934
We'll get there faster if we walk.
504
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,434
Thanks a lot for being in my cab.
505
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,434
Take care of yourself, huh?
506
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:48,534
See you later.
507
00:18:48,601 --> 00:18:50,300
Go get 'em, baby!
508
00:18:58,467 --> 00:19:00,167
Ooh!
509
00:19:00,234 --> 00:19:01,167
Hey.
510
00:19:01,234 --> 00:19:03,667
Hey, this is some joint, huh?
511
00:19:03,734 --> 00:19:04,734
Yeah. We're in the South.
512
00:19:04,801 --> 00:19:05,734
Good evening.
513
00:19:05,801 --> 00:19:07,934
���� ������ and guest.
514
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,300
Sir, are you aware this
is a black-tie affair?
515
00:19:10,367 --> 00:19:12,267
Oh, indubitably.
516
00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:13,801
This way, please.
517
00:19:13,868 --> 00:19:15,434
All right, buddy.
Take that, all right?
518
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:17,100
And get me some grey poupon, huh?
519
00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:18,467
Here, hold my purse, would you?
520
00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:19,400
Yeah.
521
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,100
Thank you.
522
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:30,033
Certainly.
523
00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:42,901
Oh, a bit of the bubbly.
524
00:19:47,934 --> 00:19:49,868
OK, Sandy, what's the plan?
525
00:19:49,934 --> 00:19:52,701
First, give me back my purse.
526
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:54,267
Come here.
527
00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:55,834
I snuck in your video camera.
528
00:19:55,901 --> 00:19:57,767
Look, I cut a hole in my purse.
529
00:19:57,834 --> 00:19:59,634
We can shoot tape
without anybody knowing.
530
00:19:59,701 --> 00:20:01,834
You go find the ����������,
warm up to him,
531
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:04,133
and ask him about appearing
on the show, OK?
532
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,634
Who knows what kind of juicy
stuff we're going to get?
533
00:20:06,701 --> 00:20:08,133
I'm beginning to feel like
534
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,634
a real investigative journalist.
535
00:20:09,701 --> 00:20:10,734
Well, good.
536
00:20:10,801 --> 00:20:12,400
I'll be at the bar
investigating Jack Daniels.
537
00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:13,901
Oh, Emily, you look so fine.
538
00:20:13,968 --> 00:20:15,267
I can't believe it.
539
00:20:15,334 --> 00:20:17,501
Let's get that photo
right over here.
540
00:20:17,567 --> 00:20:19,167
Let's look right over this way.
541
00:20:19,234 --> 00:20:20,534
Ha ha ha!
542
00:20:20,601 --> 00:20:22,200
Hey, bartender, give me
a double anything
543
00:20:22,267 --> 00:20:23,834
on the double, will you?
544
00:20:23,901 --> 00:20:25,334
���� ������!
545
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,434
What are you doing
at this square affair?
546
00:20:27,501 --> 00:20:29,534
Oh, I came here to spread joy.
547
00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:30,701
If I can find her.
548
00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:31,767
Ha ha ha!
549
00:20:31,834 --> 00:20:33,334
Hey, have you seen the ����������,
huh?
550
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,467
I haven't, but check
this action out.
551
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:36,467
Passion punch.
552
00:20:36,534 --> 00:20:38,601
Hey, what's your name?
553
00:20:38,667 --> 00:20:39,834
Lola.
554
00:20:39,901 --> 00:20:41,267
You're a cute chick.
555
00:20:41,334 --> 00:20:42,434
Hey, Lola,
556
00:20:42,501 --> 00:20:44,968
how about letting me
be the rooster?
557
00:20:45,033 --> 00:20:47,033
Why don't you go pluck yourself?
558
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:48,667
Oh, you got a quick tongue.
559
00:20:48,734 --> 00:20:50,167
That'll get you into trouble.
560
00:20:50,234 --> 00:20:51,667
Or get her out of trouble.
561
00:20:51,734 --> 00:20:53,167
Hoo, you bad, ����!
562
00:20:53,234 --> 00:20:54,667
What kind of work you do, hon?
563
00:20:54,734 --> 00:20:55,667
I'm an actress.
564
00:20:55,734 --> 00:20:56,868
Let's get together.
565
00:20:56,934 --> 00:20:58,334
Maybe I can further your career.
566
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,234
I don't believe in casual sex.
567
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,200
Hey, it won't be casual.
568
00:21:02,267 --> 00:21:04,033
I'll keep my tie on.
569
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:05,033
Enjoy yourself.
570
00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:06,033
Randal.
571
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:07,033
�����.
572
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,133
Randal. So glad you could come.
573
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,934
I wouldn't miss this
for the world.
574
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,534
You have my support 100%.
575
00:21:11,601 --> 00:21:13,400
I can't tell you how happy
that makes me to hear.
576
00:21:13,467 --> 00:21:15,200
I hope we can count
on you for your support
577
00:21:15,267 --> 00:21:16,200
for the development
578
00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:17,667
of the new Civil War
Theme park.
579
00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:19,601
My problem there is you
want to put that park
580
00:21:19,667 --> 00:21:21,701
on a protected historical landmark.
581
00:21:21,767 --> 00:21:23,200
I know, I know, but it's going to mean
582
00:21:23,267 --> 00:21:24,634
millions and millions of revenue
583
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:25,868
for the state, �����.
584
00:21:25,934 --> 00:21:28,033
The party is counting on you
to do the right thing.
585
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:29,901
Well, first I have to
do right by this party.
586
00:21:29,968 --> 00:21:31,167
Can we chat about it later, gentlemen?
587
00:21:31,234 --> 00:21:32,167
Enjoy.
588
00:21:32,234 --> 00:21:33,167
Talk to you soon. Bye.
589
00:21:33,234 --> 00:21:34,167
Emily.
590
00:21:34,234 --> 00:21:35,667
[Raucous laughter]
591
00:21:38,434 --> 00:21:40,801
Hey, boys, you want
to have some laughs?
592
00:21:40,868 --> 00:21:42,667
Take a porno movie
and run it backwards.
593
00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:44,868
That way you see the hooker
give back the money.
594
00:21:48,367 --> 00:21:49,601
Once in D.C.,
595
00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:53,300
we will remember who
our friends are, hmm?
596
00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:54,834
Oh! Oh...
597
00:21:54,901 --> 00:21:56,133
I'm so sorry...
598
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,634
Oh, th-that's quite all right.
599
00:21:57,701 --> 00:21:59,234
I was due a fresh one anyway.
600
00:21:59,300 --> 00:22:01,567
Oh, wait. Here, let me get that.
Wait.
601
00:22:01,634 --> 00:22:04,334
Oh, I think it's coming out.
602
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,334
What?
603
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,300
Oh, don't worry,
it's just a little one.
604
00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:08,868
Ha! Um... yes.
605
00:22:08,934 --> 00:22:11,567
Oh... the stain.
606
00:22:11,634 --> 00:22:14,167
I don't think anyone's
going to notice, huh?
607
00:22:14,234 --> 00:22:15,167
I'm ����� Bishop,
608
00:22:15,234 --> 00:22:18,434
the ����������'s campaign manager.
609
00:22:18,501 --> 00:22:19,901
You are?
610
00:22:19,968 --> 00:22:21,968
Well, hello!
Hello there.
611
00:22:22,033 --> 00:22:23,167
�����, �����,
612
00:22:23,234 --> 00:22:24,968
did you see that strange man
613
00:22:25,033 --> 00:22:26,300
that was bothering us?
614
00:22:26,367 --> 00:22:28,300
What strange man
are you talking about?
615
00:22:28,367 --> 00:22:30,033
He's wearing a red jacket
with fireworks on it.
616
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:31,033
No. What happened?
617
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,300
Find him.
618
00:22:32,367 --> 00:22:34,267
Agent Cameron. Look, please
find a guest, red jacket.
619
00:22:34,334 --> 00:22:35,901
Check out here, will you?
620
00:22:40,133 --> 00:22:42,767
Yes, my husband is
the Canadian ambassador.
621
00:22:42,834 --> 00:22:45,734
You're from Canada, huh?
What a place, Canada!
622
00:22:45,801 --> 00:22:48,100
They started a country,
and nobody showed up, huh?
623
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:49,634
I'm just kidding, folks.
624
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:50,834
I'm ���� ������.
625
00:22:50,901 --> 00:22:52,567
Maybe you've seen
my television show.
626
00:22:52,634 --> 00:22:55,334
Well, we don't watch
much American television.
627
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,067
Oh, that's too bad.
I heard in Canada
628
00:22:57,133 --> 00:22:58,767
they only have sex doggie style.
629
00:22:58,834 --> 00:23:00,567
That way, you can both
watch the hockey game.
630
00:23:00,634 --> 00:23:01,701
Ha ha!
631
00:23:01,767 --> 00:23:05,300
Ooh! Ah! Oh...
632
00:23:05,367 --> 00:23:07,133
Do me a favor, will you?
633
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,834
Scratch my back, right back there.
634
00:23:08,901 --> 00:23:10,234
I got an itch right there, huh?
635
00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:12,234
Over here--
Will you get it?
636
00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:13,901
I've tried everything
to lose weight,
637
00:23:13,968 --> 00:23:15,968
but just 2 more weeks
on this cabbage diet,
638
00:23:16,033 --> 00:23:18,133
and my dietitian told me
I'll have the body
639
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,367
of a 16-year-old, heh heh heh!
640
00:23:20,434 --> 00:23:21,801
I know.
I'm so excited!
641
00:23:21,868 --> 00:23:23,434
Oh, lady, stay right there,
will you?
642
00:23:23,501 --> 00:23:24,667
Oh, that's the spot!
643
00:23:24,734 --> 00:23:25,667
Oh!
644
00:23:25,734 --> 00:23:27,334
Oh! Too much!
Yeah! Yeah!
645
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,367
Oh!
646
00:23:28,434 --> 00:23:29,701
Oh, that's the spot!
647
00:23:29,767 --> 00:23:31,133
Sparks!
648
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,300
Oh, honey, oh, I'll marry you!
649
00:23:33,367 --> 00:23:35,400
Oh, I'll marry the dress,
whatever you want.
650
00:23:35,467 --> 00:23:36,634
�����!
651
00:23:36,701 --> 00:23:38,267
Get over here!
652
00:23:38,334 --> 00:23:40,801
Excuse me,
I'll be right back.
653
00:23:40,868 --> 00:23:41,868
What's happening?
654
00:23:41,934 --> 00:23:43,601
How did he get in here?
655
00:23:43,667 --> 00:23:45,133
���� ������?
656
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,701
You got it, honey,
a trip to Puerto Rico,
657
00:23:46,767 --> 00:23:48,200
whatever you want.
658
00:23:48,267 --> 00:23:49,534
You're a genius.
Oh! Yeah!
659
00:23:49,601 --> 00:23:51,033
Surely his name wasn't
on the guest list?
660
00:23:51,100 --> 00:23:52,033
No, sir--
661
00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:53,200
[Muttering]
662
00:23:53,267 --> 00:23:55,033
No, sir, no! We do not
want to create a scene.
663
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:57,534
Let me check the guest list.
664
00:23:57,601 --> 00:23:59,033
Oh, that's it, baby.
665
00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:02,434
Now, stick around, will you?
I may get jock itch.
666
00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:12,834
[Music ends]
667
00:24:12,901 --> 00:24:13,901
[Applause]
668
00:24:13,968 --> 00:24:17,534
Well, it's legit, sir.
Here's his invitation.
669
00:24:17,601 --> 00:24:20,167
How on earth could
this have happened?
670
00:24:20,234 --> 00:24:21,901
I don't know.
671
00:24:24,467 --> 00:24:27,367
[Paper Doll plays]
672
00:24:27,434 --> 00:24:29,334
Hey, you two should find a room.
673
00:24:32,701 --> 00:24:35,133
You two should find a warehouse.
674
00:24:36,267 --> 00:24:37,133
Yes!
675
00:24:38,968 --> 00:24:40,400
���������� �������.
676
00:24:40,467 --> 00:24:41,834
It's so nice to see you again.
677
00:24:41,901 --> 00:24:43,067
Why, yes. Hello.
678
00:24:43,133 --> 00:24:45,067
I do hope you'll save a dance
for me for later on.
679
00:24:45,133 --> 00:24:46,067
Why, sure I will.
680
00:24:46,133 --> 00:24:47,067
Mrs. �������.
681
00:24:47,133 --> 00:24:48,601
Hello.
682
00:24:48,667 --> 00:24:49,601
�����, who was that?
683
00:24:49,667 --> 00:24:51,033
I have no idea.
684
00:25:01,267 --> 00:25:02,934
What a party.
685
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,501
Looks like the unhappy hour.
686
00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:10,868
Hi. You come here often?
687
00:25:10,934 --> 00:25:13,167
Don't worry, honey,
I'm not making a play for you.
688
00:25:13,234 --> 00:25:15,901
I don't want this guy-- Oh!
689
00:25:15,968 --> 00:25:17,067
Oh...
690
00:25:22,300 --> 00:25:23,234
Oh, I'm sorry.
691
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,801
[Voices approaching]
692
00:25:29,868 --> 00:25:31,133
Woman:
Good evening, sir.
693
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:32,701
Hi. Ha ha.
694
00:25:32,767 --> 00:25:34,968
It's, uh...
quite a night, huh?
695
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:36,901
It certainly is, sir.
696
00:25:36,968 --> 00:25:38,534
Yeah.
697
00:25:38,601 --> 00:25:39,968
[Tiger Rag plays]
698
00:25:48,100 --> 00:25:50,234
Ooh... oh, wow!
Gross!
699
00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:52,701
How come they're all staring at me?
700
00:25:52,767 --> 00:25:55,734
They must recognize you from the show.
701
00:25:55,801 --> 00:25:57,601
Oh, there's ���������� �������.
702
00:25:57,667 --> 00:25:59,267
Remember, be charming.
703
00:25:59,334 --> 00:26:00,601
Why, don't I look charming?
704
00:26:00,667 --> 00:26:03,067
Oh, God, �����,
they're coming this way.
705
00:26:07,667 --> 00:26:08,901
I can see that.
706
00:26:08,968 --> 00:26:10,400
���������� �������?
I'm Sandy Gallo.
707
00:26:10,467 --> 00:26:12,100
I produce
The ���� ������ Show.
708
00:26:12,167 --> 00:26:14,834
I'd like you to meet ���� ������.
709
00:26:14,901 --> 00:26:16,634
Hey, ����������, how are you, huh?
710
00:26:16,701 --> 00:26:19,501
You don't know how excited
I am to meet you, ha ha!
711
00:26:19,567 --> 00:26:20,501
[Crash, tinkle]
712
00:26:20,567 --> 00:26:21,501
[Coughing]
713
00:26:21,567 --> 00:26:23,133
By the way, thanks for the invite.
714
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,167
You got a hell of a shindig
going on here.
715
00:26:25,234 --> 00:26:26,834
How do you do?
I'm Emily �������--
716
00:26:26,901 --> 00:26:28,601
How do you do, baby?
717
00:26:28,667 --> 00:26:30,767
Hey, ����������, I found out
you're a big fan of mine.
718
00:26:30,834 --> 00:26:32,234
You know, how about doing my show?
719
00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:35,100
I'll fly you to New York,
first-class, nice room.
720
00:26:35,167 --> 00:26:37,534
You want some company,
I'll work that out, too--
721
00:26:37,601 --> 00:26:38,667
What does he mean by company?
722
00:26:38,734 --> 00:26:40,601
I have no idea.
Oh, your friend wants you.
723
00:26:40,667 --> 00:26:41,834
Oh, thanks.
Excuse me.
724
00:26:41,901 --> 00:26:43,534
I need some ice here.
725
00:26:43,601 --> 00:26:45,534
You don't need that, do you, buddy?
726
00:26:45,601 --> 00:26:47,334
OK? Good.
727
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,567
����������?
You promised me a dance.
728
00:26:49,634 --> 00:26:52,300
Your timing couldn't be better.
729
00:26:52,367 --> 00:26:54,367
Company. I see.
730
00:26:54,434 --> 00:26:55,467
����, there's the ����������'s wife.
731
00:26:55,534 --> 00:26:57,167
Why don't you go grab her
and dance with her?
732
00:26:57,234 --> 00:26:58,434
I'll get it on tape.
733
00:26:58,501 --> 00:26:59,667
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Go on.
734
00:26:59,734 --> 00:27:01,133
Yeah.
735
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,033
Hey, buddy, hold that for me.
736
00:27:03,100 --> 00:27:04,334
Emily, baby, come here.
737
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,000
Let's show them how to do it, baby.
738
00:27:06,067 --> 00:27:07,167
Oh, no, thank you--
739
00:27:07,234 --> 00:27:09,767
Ah, come on, you'll enjoy it.
740
00:27:09,834 --> 00:27:12,767
You never told me you
worked for ���� ������.
741
00:27:12,834 --> 00:27:16,501
Oh, Harv, there's a lot
of things I've never told you.
742
00:27:16,567 --> 00:27:19,868
I'm a very deep...
caring... sensual...
743
00:27:19,934 --> 00:27:22,267
giving person, you know?
744
00:27:22,334 --> 00:27:25,033
You know what I'd like more
than anything right now?
745
00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:26,033
What's that?
746
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:27,367
Sex on the beach.
747
00:27:27,434 --> 00:27:28,601
I'll get the car.
748
00:27:28,667 --> 00:27:30,067
Wait a second, honey.
749
00:27:30,133 --> 00:27:31,300
It's just a drink.
750
00:27:31,367 --> 00:27:32,334
Oh.
751
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,000
- Why don't you get us 2, OK?
- Yeah.
752
00:27:34,067 --> 00:27:35,534
- Be a doll.
- All right.
753
00:27:35,601 --> 00:27:36,701
All right.
754
00:27:36,767 --> 00:27:38,467
[Tango music playing]
755
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,234
Oh!
756
00:27:59,067 --> 00:28:00,667
Oh!
757
00:28:00,734 --> 00:28:03,100
Excuse me.
758
00:28:03,167 --> 00:28:04,701
Oh...
759
00:28:04,767 --> 00:28:07,033
Aah...
760
00:28:07,100 --> 00:28:09,634
Senator ����� �������. Whoo!
I like the sound of that.
761
00:28:15,334 --> 00:28:18,100
Oh! Oh! Ah!
762
00:28:18,167 --> 00:28:20,901
Hey, who knows?
Someday you could be the first lady.
763
00:28:22,501 --> 00:28:23,868
The question is,
764
00:28:23,934 --> 00:28:26,200
was the ���������� the first man?
765
00:28:26,267 --> 00:28:28,067
Whoa!
766
00:28:28,133 --> 00:28:30,567
We met in Savannah
at your campaign rally,
767
00:28:30,634 --> 00:28:32,367
but you probably don't remember.
768
00:28:32,434 --> 00:28:34,234
�����!
769
00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:36,334
We both had an awful lot
to drink that night.
770
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,434
You have me confused
with someone else.
771
00:28:38,501 --> 00:28:39,467
Whoo!
772
00:28:39,534 --> 00:28:40,667
Oh!
773
00:28:40,734 --> 00:28:42,634
Please, sir!
774
00:28:42,701 --> 00:28:43,734
Oh!
775
00:28:43,801 --> 00:28:44,767
Oh!
776
00:28:44,834 --> 00:28:46,534
Pardon me.
777
00:28:46,601 --> 00:28:48,133
iol�!
778
00:28:50,534 --> 00:28:51,968
Oh, my God...
779
00:28:52,033 --> 00:28:52,968
Oh!
780
00:28:53,033 --> 00:28:55,400
����:
Oh, my big dipper!
781
00:28:55,467 --> 00:28:58,000
Ah-- Oh!
782
00:28:58,067 --> 00:29:00,100
Oh! Oh! Oh!
783
00:29:00,167 --> 00:29:01,601
Whoa!
784
00:29:03,033 --> 00:29:04,767
OK, baby, big finish.
Slap it down.
785
00:29:04,834 --> 00:29:06,334
Ohh... oh!
786
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:08,601
Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?
787
00:29:08,667 --> 00:29:09,667
Excuse me.
788
00:29:14,133 --> 00:29:16,400
Hey, buddy, I'll take one of those.
789
00:29:16,467 --> 00:29:17,567
Yes, sir.
790
00:29:17,634 --> 00:29:19,367
Thanks.
791
00:29:19,434 --> 00:29:21,133
[Jazzy Liebestraum plays]
792
00:29:25,434 --> 00:29:26,367
Canap�, ma'am?
793
00:29:26,434 --> 00:29:27,868
No, thank you.
794
00:29:27,934 --> 00:29:29,234
...really try
this diet, Diane.
795
00:29:29,300 --> 00:29:31,067
Well, it's a strict vegetarian diet,
796
00:29:31,133 --> 00:29:33,968
but I can eat vegetables, olives,
797
00:29:34,033 --> 00:29:35,968
it absolutely drives my husband crazy
798
00:29:36,033 --> 00:29:38,033
that I won't eat meat anymore.
799
00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:39,033
Eww!
800
00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:41,400
Emily: Oh, look who it is!
Oh, my God!
801
00:29:41,467 --> 00:29:43,200
Bless your heart for coming, sir.
802
00:29:43,267 --> 00:29:44,934
����������, great to be here.
803
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,467
Or should I say Senator?
804
00:29:46,534 --> 00:29:47,834
Well, I hope you should.
805
00:29:47,901 --> 00:29:49,701
Could we talk you into
singing for us tonight?
806
00:29:49,767 --> 00:29:50,734
I would love to,
807
00:29:50,801 --> 00:29:52,200
but this throat's
a little sore tonight.
808
00:29:52,267 --> 00:29:53,200
Aww...
Aww...
809
00:29:53,267 --> 00:29:54,701
Don't even talk about it.
Say no more.
810
00:29:54,767 --> 00:29:56,100
I'll get you some tea.
811
00:29:56,167 --> 00:29:57,267
���� ������!
812
00:29:57,334 --> 00:29:59,234
Hey, Michael, baby, this is wild.
How are you?
813
00:29:59,300 --> 00:30:01,200
Good to see you.
You know, I tell you, though,
814
00:30:01,267 --> 00:30:02,901
I went out with this girl last week.
815
00:30:02,968 --> 00:30:05,000
She was so ugly,
I took her to the beach,
816
00:30:05,067 --> 00:30:06,834
they wanted to know
what I used for bait.
817
00:30:06,901 --> 00:30:08,200
Hey, Michael,
818
00:30:08,267 --> 00:30:11,167
you're going to sing for us
tonight, aren't you?
819
00:30:11,234 --> 00:30:13,434
Mr. Sparks, we mustn't
impose. Sore throat...
820
00:30:13,501 --> 00:30:15,367
Know what, ����?
For you, anything.
821
00:30:19,634 --> 00:30:20,501
[Applause]
822
00:30:23,901 --> 00:30:25,133
Folks, uh...
823
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,000
I want to dedicate this song
to a great, great state...
824
00:30:28,067 --> 00:30:29,033
Hear, hear!
825
00:30:29,100 --> 00:30:31,567
and to a very special friend of mine.
826
00:30:31,634 --> 00:30:34,300
The coolest guy I know,
827
00:30:34,367 --> 00:30:35,300
���� ������.
828
00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:37,234
[Music starts]
829
00:30:42,934 --> 00:30:44,901
* Georgia *
830
00:30:48,067 --> 00:30:50,100
* Georgia *
831
00:30:53,567 --> 00:30:58,367
* The whole day through *
832
00:30:59,767 --> 00:31:03,200
* Just an old sweet song *
833
00:31:03,267 --> 00:31:05,868
[Blows nose loudly]
834
00:31:05,934 --> 00:31:13,300
* Keeps Georgia on my mind *
835
00:31:17,767 --> 00:31:18,834
Oh!
836
00:31:20,634 --> 00:31:21,567
Hi.
837
00:31:21,634 --> 00:31:23,133
Hi.
838
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:24,267
Cheers.
839
00:31:29,767 --> 00:31:32,267
[Whispering]
����, come here. Come here!
840
00:31:35,667 --> 00:31:38,067
The camera fell in the punch bowl.
841
00:31:38,133 --> 00:31:39,200
Yeah? Ohh...
842
00:31:43,434 --> 00:31:44,567
...some punch.
843
00:31:46,767 --> 00:31:48,634
Oh, great. Here comes somebody.
844
00:31:51,367 --> 00:31:54,200
I want to see if it's
the right temperature.
845
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:58,767
Here, put it in the bag.
846
00:32:09,734 --> 00:32:10,701
Damn.
847
00:32:10,767 --> 00:32:13,234
The punch must've shorted
this thing out.
848
00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:15,567
It could be the TV.
849
00:32:15,634 --> 00:32:16,934
Sometimes with this stuff,
850
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:18,634
you just have to hit it
851
00:32:18,701 --> 00:32:19,968
and it works, you know?
852
00:32:20,033 --> 00:32:21,667
Hey, look at this.
It says "Screen."
853
00:32:21,734 --> 00:32:23,067
Maybe this'll fix it, huh?
854
00:32:25,834 --> 00:32:27,801
Excuse me just a moment.
I'm sorry.
855
00:32:27,868 --> 00:32:29,534
Oh, sure.
856
00:32:29,601 --> 00:32:31,033
Excuse me, darling,
I'm sorry,
857
00:32:31,100 --> 00:32:32,667
But I think ����� might be running
858
00:32:32,734 --> 00:32:33,834
a new campaign commercial.
859
00:32:33,901 --> 00:32:34,934
I had no idea
860
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,634
there was going to be
a screen presentation.
861
00:32:36,701 --> 00:32:37,901
Will you excuse me, gentlemen?
862
00:32:37,968 --> 00:32:39,400
Ladies and gentlemen--
Sorry, band? Please.
863
00:32:39,467 --> 00:32:40,400
[Band stops]
864
00:32:40,467 --> 00:32:41,868
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen,
865
00:32:41,934 --> 00:32:43,834
if you'd join us down
at this end of the room,
866
00:32:43,901 --> 00:32:46,300
we're going to show you
a little film presentation.
867
00:32:46,367 --> 00:32:48,100
I hope this will prove to you
868
00:32:48,167 --> 00:32:50,701
that we always try
to use your contributions
869
00:32:50,767 --> 00:32:52,934
in a mature, responsible manner.
870
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,501
[Panting, moaning]
871
00:32:58,267 --> 00:33:00,200
My God, it's a...
872
00:33:00,267 --> 00:33:02,334
Well, I never...
873
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,267
How did this get on there?
874
00:33:04,334 --> 00:33:07,467
I must've taped over Joey's porno.
875
00:33:07,534 --> 00:33:11,234
�����, why is that man
in such pain?
876
00:33:11,300 --> 00:33:13,400
Is he one of your supporters?
877
00:33:13,467 --> 00:33:14,834
[Faster breathing]
878
00:33:19,601 --> 00:33:21,234
Hey, here we go.
We got something.
879
00:33:21,300 --> 00:33:23,167
Ha! Thank God.
It's about time.
880
00:33:23,234 --> 00:33:25,601
Now, my wife has tried
every diet on the planet,
881
00:33:25,667 --> 00:33:27,834
and her ass is still as wide
as the Mississippi.
882
00:33:27,901 --> 00:33:28,767
Oh!
883
00:33:32,734 --> 00:33:33,667
Oh, Helen.
884
00:33:33,734 --> 00:33:35,667
Oh, what a terrible--
Randal!
885
00:33:35,734 --> 00:33:37,534
Look at this.
The rewind button,
886
00:33:37,601 --> 00:33:39,534
it's stuck!
887
00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:40,467
Owowoh!
888
00:33:41,834 --> 00:33:43,367
Owowoh!
889
00:33:44,901 --> 00:33:45,767
Owowoh!
890
00:33:47,501 --> 00:33:48,367
Owowoh!
891
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:51,367
[Laughter]
892
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,167
Check you out.
893
00:33:58,234 --> 00:34:01,300
Owowoh! Owowoh!
Owowoh! Owowoh!
894
00:34:01,367 --> 00:34:02,767
�����?
895
00:34:02,834 --> 00:34:04,200
�����! �����!
896
00:34:04,267 --> 00:34:05,300
�����?
897
00:34:05,367 --> 00:34:06,501
- Here I am.
- Right now.
898
00:34:06,567 --> 00:34:07,601
- Yes, sir.
- Do something now!
899
00:34:07,667 --> 00:34:09,434
- Now, �����!
- Yes, sir.
900
00:34:09,501 --> 00:34:11,934
We got nothing.
That tape is ruined.
901
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,234
Ah, so sue me.
902
00:34:14,300 --> 00:34:16,300
OK, back to work.
903
00:34:16,367 --> 00:34:18,100
Come on.
I need a drink.
904
00:34:27,968 --> 00:34:28,901
Dave.
905
00:34:28,968 --> 00:34:30,400
Isn't he beautiful?
906
00:34:30,467 --> 00:34:31,601
Mm-hmm.
907
00:34:31,667 --> 00:34:33,467
I had to outbid 2 other buyers.
908
00:34:33,534 --> 00:34:35,000
Worth every penny.
909
00:34:35,067 --> 00:34:36,834
You gonna race 'im, �����?
910
00:34:36,901 --> 00:34:38,634
No, no, no.
Not this boy.
911
00:34:38,701 --> 00:34:40,501
I'm putting him out to stud.
912
00:34:40,567 --> 00:34:42,033
Thank you, Nancy, very much.
913
00:34:42,100 --> 00:34:43,434
Folks, they're about to serve dessert.
914
00:34:43,501 --> 00:34:44,934
Why don't we head back on in?
915
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,033
Nancy, come up to
the house for some supper
916
00:34:47,100 --> 00:34:47,968
when you're through.
917
00:34:57,334 --> 00:34:58,300
How are you?
918
00:34:58,367 --> 00:35:00,400
Hi.
919
00:35:00,467 --> 00:35:04,133
Hey, how are you doing, boy?
920
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,834
So, they're going to
send you out to stud, huh?
921
00:35:09,667 --> 00:35:12,334
Whoa! They'll be flocking
all over you.
922
00:35:15,834 --> 00:35:18,767
I know, it's rude to drink alone,
huh?
923
00:35:18,834 --> 00:35:21,067
You thirsty?
I'll take care of that.
924
00:35:24,033 --> 00:35:25,501
Here you are.
925
00:35:25,567 --> 00:35:28,100
Yeah, I know how it is, baby.
926
00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:30,667
I know how it is.
There you go, baby.
927
00:35:30,734 --> 00:35:32,968
OK, here, all you want.
928
00:35:33,033 --> 00:35:33,968
[Slurping]
929
00:35:34,033 --> 00:35:36,601
Go ahead.
Hey, have a party.
930
00:35:36,667 --> 00:35:40,601
I promise I won't
take advantage of you.
931
00:35:40,667 --> 00:35:41,534
[Dixie plays]
932
00:35:45,534 --> 00:35:47,267
Now, let's welcome to the stage
933
00:35:47,334 --> 00:35:48,767
our great ����������.
934
00:35:48,834 --> 00:35:50,767
He'll have our respect
and the nation's
935
00:35:50,834 --> 00:35:53,133
as our next United States Senator--
936
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:54,667
����� �������
937
00:35:54,734 --> 00:35:56,634
and our lovely hostess Emily!
938
00:36:00,467 --> 00:36:02,400
Thank you, thank you so much.
939
00:36:02,467 --> 00:36:03,968
����������:
Thank you, Randal.
940
00:36:04,033 --> 00:36:05,667
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you...
941
00:36:05,734 --> 00:36:06,801
thank you all very much.
942
00:36:06,868 --> 00:36:08,267
I want to thank you
for being here...
943
00:36:08,334 --> 00:36:09,300
[Clinking]
944
00:36:09,367 --> 00:36:11,167
and for your many
generous contributions.
945
00:36:11,234 --> 00:36:14,634
I know this has been
a rough campaign,
946
00:36:14,701 --> 00:36:16,567
but I assure you, we will--
947
00:36:16,634 --> 00:36:18,667
[Shouting]
No! No!
948
00:36:18,734 --> 00:36:19,734
We will ride on...
949
00:36:19,801 --> 00:36:21,067
to victory--
950
00:36:21,133 --> 00:36:22,701
Oh!
Aah!
951
00:36:29,634 --> 00:36:30,934
[Whinny]
952
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:32,067
Jericho!
953
00:36:32,133 --> 00:36:35,133
����:
Get out of the way!
954
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:36,868
Jericho!
955
00:36:40,267 --> 00:36:42,367
Is that horse too rough for you?
956
00:36:42,434 --> 00:36:44,734
Oh, my God...
957
00:36:44,801 --> 00:36:46,801
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
958
00:36:46,868 --> 00:36:49,734
Hey, stop it!
What is this, foreplay?
959
00:36:49,801 --> 00:36:51,133
Emily:
Don't panic, anybody, please!
960
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:52,734
Do not tip the valets.
961
00:36:52,801 --> 00:36:54,968
They have already been taken care of.
962
00:36:55,033 --> 00:36:56,400
Wha-what are you doing there, sir?
963
00:36:56,467 --> 00:36:57,801
Whoa! Slow down, will you?
964
00:36:57,868 --> 00:37:00,133
Sparks!
Get off my horse!
965
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:01,501
Oh, my goodness!
966
00:37:01,567 --> 00:37:03,300
Just... Jericho!
967
00:37:03,367 --> 00:37:05,467
Watch the vermin on your right,
sir!
968
00:37:05,534 --> 00:37:06,801
How do you stop this thing?
969
00:37:06,868 --> 00:37:08,634
I need a designated rider.
970
00:37:08,701 --> 00:37:10,133
Whoa!
971
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:11,734
Oh, my God!
972
00:37:11,801 --> 00:37:12,934
You are desecrating the flag
973
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,100
of the sacred state of--
974
00:37:14,167 --> 00:37:15,667
����������, look out, will you?
975
00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:18,534
Mr. Sparks, would you mind yourself,
please?
976
00:37:18,601 --> 00:37:20,000
Whoa, boy...
977
00:37:20,067 --> 00:37:22,067
Easy, boy, easy...
978
00:37:22,133 --> 00:37:25,167
Calm yourself, boy. Good lad.
979
00:37:25,234 --> 00:37:26,767
����:
What are you looking at?
980
00:37:26,834 --> 00:37:28,267
Hey, no more for you.
981
00:37:28,334 --> 00:37:29,300
The bar's closed.
982
00:37:29,367 --> 00:37:31,033
Ohh... yeah.
983
00:37:32,934 --> 00:37:34,000
Let's get out of here!
984
00:37:34,067 --> 00:37:35,434
[Whinny]
985
00:37:35,501 --> 00:37:37,133
Oh!
986
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:38,767
Look out!
987
00:37:38,834 --> 00:37:39,834
He's gonna blow!
988
00:37:39,901 --> 00:37:41,167
Run!
989
00:37:45,434 --> 00:37:48,567
Run for your lives!
Drunk horse!
990
00:37:48,634 --> 00:37:50,601
Good night.
Call me.
991
00:37:50,667 --> 00:37:52,767
Hey, I thought we were friends.
Aah!
992
00:37:52,834 --> 00:37:54,434
[Whinny]
993
00:37:54,501 --> 00:37:56,934
Aah!
994
00:38:02,334 --> 00:38:04,801
I really hate that man.
995
00:38:04,868 --> 00:38:06,701
�����...
996
00:38:06,767 --> 00:38:08,767
get down from there.
997
00:38:08,834 --> 00:38:10,467
[Horse snorts]
998
00:38:11,868 --> 00:38:14,334
In a bizarre accident here
at the ����������'s mansion,
999
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,934
talk show host ���� ������
heroically restrained
1000
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,868
a maniacal horse
from injuring the ����������
1001
00:38:18,934 --> 00:38:20,400
and his party guests.
1002
00:38:20,467 --> 00:38:22,501
The ����������'s prize
thoroughbred Jericho
1003
00:38:22,567 --> 00:38:25,968
was not seriously injured,
b-b-but they say he's...
1004
00:38:26,033 --> 00:38:28,000
suffering from a severe hangover.
1005
00:38:28,067 --> 00:38:31,267
This ain't going to
hurt you one bit, baby.
1006
00:38:31,334 --> 00:38:33,501
All right, grease him up there.
1007
00:38:33,567 --> 00:38:35,701
OK, give me that butt grease.
1008
00:38:35,767 --> 00:38:37,334
This is stuttering John
reporting to you from Georgia,
1009
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:38,567
and this is freaking disgusting,
1010
00:38:38,634 --> 00:38:39,834
and I'm out of here.
1011
00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:42,100
���� ������' condition is
still unknown at this time.
1012
00:38:42,167 --> 00:38:43,601
Stories are rapidly spreading
1013
00:38:43,667 --> 00:38:45,400
that the controversial
TV talkster's injuries
1014
00:38:45,467 --> 00:38:46,601
may prove fatal.
1015
00:38:46,667 --> 00:38:49,000
He's said to be resting
in the ����������'s bedroom.
1016
00:38:53,567 --> 00:38:55,167
����:
Oh, honey, I love you.
1017
00:38:55,234 --> 00:38:56,934
Baby, I love you, don't fight me.
1018
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,434
Do the right thing, now, come on,
baby.
1019
00:38:59,501 --> 00:39:00,934
Don't fight me.
1020
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,634
Do the right thing, will you?
Come on, huh?
1021
00:39:02,701 --> 00:39:03,634
����.
1022
00:39:03,701 --> 00:39:05,100
Oh, baby, I love you.
Come here, baby...
1023
00:39:05,167 --> 00:39:07,400
Hey, ����, come on, wake up!
1024
00:39:07,467 --> 00:39:09,801
����, wake up. Hey.
1025
00:39:09,868 --> 00:39:11,033
Oh, it's you.
1026
00:39:11,100 --> 00:39:12,968
Yeah. You all right?
1027
00:39:13,067 --> 00:39:14,801
Boy, I really poured one on.
1028
00:39:14,868 --> 00:39:16,100
Yeah, you did.
1029
00:39:16,167 --> 00:39:17,100
My head.
1030
00:39:17,167 --> 00:39:19,133
I got hammered.
1031
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,934
Look at the publicity
you're getting.
1032
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:24,534
Your accident was
a gigantic media event.
1033
00:39:24,601 --> 00:39:29,334
You can't buy this
kind of publicity.
1034
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,033
Stop the presses!
1035
00:39:31,100 --> 00:39:33,601
I'm just about to be brilliant.
1036
00:39:33,667 --> 00:39:35,701
This... is how we're
going to save the show!
1037
00:39:40,234 --> 00:39:42,334
We'll tell them that you
injured your back.
1038
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,868
Doctors can't prove a phony
back injury with an X-ray.
1039
00:39:44,934 --> 00:39:47,200
Then we'll say you can't be moved,
1040
00:39:47,267 --> 00:39:49,334
and you're going to stay
here till you can walk.
1041
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,868
Well, what do I want to stay here for?
1042
00:39:51,934 --> 00:39:53,167
So you can do the show!
1043
00:39:53,234 --> 00:39:55,400
Here, drink this.
You'll feel better.
1044
00:39:55,467 --> 00:39:56,601
Do what show?
1045
00:39:56,667 --> 00:39:59,000
What show? "Live, from
the ����������'s mansion,
1046
00:39:59,067 --> 00:40:00,634
The ���� ������ Show!"
1047
00:40:00,701 --> 00:40:02,434
What are you trying to prove,
1048
00:40:02,501 --> 00:40:04,901
little things mean a lot?
1049
00:40:04,968 --> 00:40:08,367
I'm telling you, ����, it'll work.
1050
00:40:08,434 --> 00:40:09,734
Oh, Sandy, I don't know,
you know?
1051
00:40:09,801 --> 00:40:11,133
I mean, I don't know what to do.
1052
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,133
I mean, the ����������,
he's been so nice to us.
1053
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,300
I feel like we're taking
advantage of the guy.
1054
00:40:15,367 --> 00:40:16,300
Wow!
1055
00:40:16,367 --> 00:40:18,934
You look a lot fatter
than you do on TV.
1056
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,934
Yeah? And I'm tougher, too.
Who are you?
1057
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,033
Robby �������, the ����������'s son.
1058
00:40:23,100 --> 00:40:25,033
I invited you guys to the party.
1059
00:40:25,100 --> 00:40:26,400
Wait, you sent the invitation?
1060
00:40:26,467 --> 00:40:29,601
Oh, yeah!
I'm ����'s biggest fan.
1061
00:40:29,667 --> 00:40:31,868
[Imitating ����]
Hey, she's a wild girl.
1062
00:40:31,934 --> 00:40:33,901
She put on a virgin wool sweater,
1063
00:40:33,968 --> 00:40:35,701
her body rejected it.
1064
00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:37,300
This kid's all right.
1065
00:40:37,367 --> 00:40:40,467
I can't hear you.
This jacket's too loud!
1066
00:40:40,534 --> 00:40:42,634
Hey, kid, you're all right,
you know?
1067
00:40:42,701 --> 00:40:45,100
But I thought your father
invited me to this party.
1068
00:40:45,167 --> 00:40:46,234
Oh, no.
1069
00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:48,968
You're the last person
on earth he wants to see.
1070
00:40:49,033 --> 00:40:51,701
He hates your guts.
He thinks you're slime.
1071
00:40:51,767 --> 00:40:53,367
That's why I love you so much.
1072
00:40:53,434 --> 00:40:55,667
Is that a compliment, or what?
1073
00:40:55,734 --> 00:40:57,434
What are you doing in here, huh?
1074
00:40:57,501 --> 00:41:00,300
Eavesdropping.
Heard everything you guys said.
1075
00:41:00,367 --> 00:41:02,234
But don't worry.
I won't rat.
1076
00:41:02,300 --> 00:41:03,601
Besides,
1077
00:41:03,667 --> 00:41:06,167
I'm the second-to-last
person on earth
1078
00:41:06,234 --> 00:41:07,601
my dad wants to see.
1079
00:41:09,501 --> 00:41:11,934
Is this true?
Is this true?
1080
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,434
I'm over here, putz.
1081
00:41:13,501 --> 00:41:14,734
Is this true?
1082
00:41:14,801 --> 00:41:19,033
Is he really doing the show
from a wheelchair?
1083
00:41:19,100 --> 00:41:21,067
What a stroke of luck.
1084
00:41:21,133 --> 00:41:23,234
���� paralyzed...
1085
00:41:23,300 --> 00:41:24,934
in the ����������'s mansion.
1086
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,901
Sir, what if this is one
of Sparks' wild stunts
1087
00:41:27,968 --> 00:41:29,334
just to save his show?
1088
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,434
Maybe I should go down there
and investigate.
1089
00:41:31,501 --> 00:41:33,868
I'll prove to you he's
concocted the whole thing--
1090
00:41:33,934 --> 00:41:34,868
Miller.
1091
00:41:34,934 --> 00:41:35,868
Yes, sir?
1092
00:41:35,934 --> 00:41:38,167
I think you need a woman.
1093
00:41:38,234 --> 00:41:39,467
Oh, sir, I--
1094
00:41:39,534 --> 00:41:41,300
Even if she's expensive.
1095
00:41:41,367 --> 00:41:43,033
O... K.
1096
00:41:44,167 --> 00:41:46,000
���������� ����� �������
and his supporters
1097
00:41:46,067 --> 00:41:48,167
have just finished their presentation
1098
00:41:48,234 --> 00:41:50,033
in opposition to the development
1099
00:41:50,100 --> 00:41:51,834
of a Civil War Theme park
1100
00:41:51,901 --> 00:41:53,334
planned to be developed
1101
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,167
right here on this historical landmark.
1102
00:41:55,234 --> 00:41:57,167
[Fifes and drums playing
When Johnny Comes Marching Home]
1103
00:41:57,234 --> 00:41:58,167
Thank you.
1104
00:41:58,234 --> 00:42:00,300
I love working with a trio.
1105
00:42:00,367 --> 00:42:02,434
Next week they open in Vegas.
1106
00:42:02,501 --> 00:42:04,567
I'll be in the lounge. Cut.
1107
00:42:04,634 --> 00:42:06,300
����������, if you kick him out,
1108
00:42:06,367 --> 00:42:07,734
they are threatening to sue.
1109
00:42:07,801 --> 00:42:09,400
Think of the negative press
you'll receive,
1110
00:42:09,467 --> 00:42:11,701
Not to mention what he might
say about you on his show.
1111
00:42:11,767 --> 00:42:13,701
I don't understand. Why didn't
he just go stay in the hospital?
1112
00:42:13,767 --> 00:42:16,167
We might be able to get some
good play out of this, sir.
1113
00:42:16,234 --> 00:42:18,901
Especially if we air
your campaign commercials
1114
00:42:18,968 --> 00:42:20,968
during the taping of
his show from your house.
1115
00:42:21,033 --> 00:42:23,934
Nobody said anything about him
broadcasting from my home!
1116
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,133
Hold him, hold him.
1117
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,434
����������, I think it's
very gracious for you
1118
00:42:27,501 --> 00:42:29,834
to open up your home to ���� ������.
1119
00:42:29,901 --> 00:42:31,334
Any man with a heart like that
1120
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:32,834
has got a vote from me.
1121
00:42:32,901 --> 00:42:35,367
Yeah, mine, too.
God bless you, ���������� �������.
1122
00:42:38,868 --> 00:42:40,634
What else does Mr. Sparks want?
1123
00:42:40,701 --> 00:42:43,133
Well, sir, he'd like to continue
to stay in your bedroom,
1124
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,133
and he's just crazy about your pajamas.
1125
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:46,167
[Muttering]
1126
00:42:46,234 --> 00:42:49,267
Now, his producer,
a lovely, caring woman,
1127
00:42:49,334 --> 00:42:52,834
has assured me that the peace
and tranquillity of your home
1128
00:42:52,901 --> 00:42:54,634
will not be disturbed.
1129
00:42:54,701 --> 00:42:56,133
Back that mother up over here!
1130
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,467
Come on, let's move it!
Move it! Move it!
1131
00:42:58,534 --> 00:43:00,267
Come on! Come on!
1132
00:43:00,334 --> 00:43:01,467
Let's go! Let's go!
1133
00:43:01,534 --> 00:43:04,267
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's move our butts here!
1134
00:43:04,334 --> 00:43:06,334
Come on, people, let's go.
We're losing the light.
1135
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,334
Crowd, chanting:
����! ����! ����!
1136
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,334
Oh! Oh! Aah!
1137
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:11,634
It's ����!
1138
00:43:11,701 --> 00:43:12,634
Hi there.
1139
00:43:12,701 --> 00:43:15,200
Oh, it's only the ����������.
1140
00:43:15,267 --> 00:43:17,200
How do you do, ma'am?
1141
00:43:17,267 --> 00:43:18,934
����! ����! ����!
1142
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,067
Robby, on bullhorn:
Yeah, bring in that cable.
1143
00:43:20,133 --> 00:43:21,701
You know, we've only got a few hours.
1144
00:43:21,767 --> 00:43:23,367
Let's go, guys. Come on.
You're doing great.
1145
00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:25,300
Let's go! Yeah, hurry up!
We've got a show to do
1146
00:43:25,367 --> 00:43:26,968
in a couple of hours.
Come on! Come on!
1147
00:43:27,033 --> 00:43:30,234
����������, will you please
get out of the way?
1148
00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:33,033
We're trying to work here.
1149
00:43:33,100 --> 00:43:34,367
Would you like a muffin?
1150
00:43:34,434 --> 00:43:36,534
[Everybody talking]
1151
00:43:36,601 --> 00:43:37,934
Muffin?
1152
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:39,434
They're fat-free.
1153
00:43:39,501 --> 00:43:41,501
Emily, who are all--
1154
00:43:41,567 --> 00:43:42,801
Uh, would you like a muffin?
1155
00:43:42,868 --> 00:43:44,000
Emily, who--
1156
00:43:44,067 --> 00:43:45,834
Who are all these people?
1157
00:43:45,901 --> 00:43:48,100
They're guests on the show.
�����, isn't this exciting?
1158
00:43:48,167 --> 00:43:49,467
You should look at this.
1159
00:43:49,534 --> 00:43:50,934
Sir, that's an extremely valuable
1160
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,534
18th century French inlaid side table.
1161
00:43:52,601 --> 00:43:53,934
It's very valuable,
I just--
1162
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,133
OK, we won't break anything.
1163
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:58,167
I don't want dents and scratches on it.
1164
00:43:58,234 --> 00:44:00,100
Get away from my chest, sir!
1165
00:44:02,501 --> 00:44:05,000
Live from the ����������'s
mansion in Atlanta,
1166
00:44:05,067 --> 00:44:06,667
it's the show that tells it like it is.
1167
00:44:06,734 --> 00:44:09,033
Ain't no mystery to this man's history.
1168
00:44:09,100 --> 00:44:13,067
Meet ���� ������.
1169
00:44:13,133 --> 00:44:15,801
Tonight our show
focuses on a comparison
1170
00:44:15,868 --> 00:44:19,467
of American wrestling
to Japan's sumo wrestlers.
1171
00:44:19,534 --> 00:44:22,834
Sumo is the national
wrestling sport of Japan,
1172
00:44:22,901 --> 00:44:24,834
and the Japanese people
have high regard
1173
00:44:24,901 --> 00:44:26,767
for these mighty athletes.
1174
00:44:28,934 --> 00:44:31,934
OK, boys, stop bowing.
You'll tip over, huh?
1175
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,367
That's it, sit down.
Down, boys, down. OK. All right.
1176
00:44:35,434 --> 00:44:38,200
Now, folks, let's meet
the American wrestlers,
1177
00:44:38,267 --> 00:44:40,601
the ever-dangerous Python Brothers.
1178
00:44:40,667 --> 00:44:43,000
Yeah!
1179
00:44:43,067 --> 00:44:44,701
[Audience boos and hisses]
1180
00:44:44,767 --> 00:44:46,467
Now tell me, boys.
1181
00:44:46,534 --> 00:44:48,767
Why are you giving
the sumos a hard time?
1182
00:44:48,834 --> 00:44:51,033
Well, ����,
these fat tubs of lard
1183
00:44:51,100 --> 00:44:52,367
have the nerve to call themselves
1184
00:44:52,434 --> 00:44:54,400
professional athletes
1185
00:44:54,467 --> 00:44:56,934
when they look more like
the Fuji blimp!
1186
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,133
We spend long, hard hours in the gym
1187
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,167
getting our bodies to look like this.
1188
00:45:03,234 --> 00:45:04,467
Yeah!
1189
00:45:04,534 --> 00:45:08,033
Boys, name calling isn't
going to solve anything.
1190
00:45:08,100 --> 00:45:10,734
Then tell them to stop
stuffing their faces
1191
00:45:10,801 --> 00:45:12,834
and buy some brassieres!
1192
00:45:12,901 --> 00:45:14,300
[Speaking Japanese]
1193
00:45:14,367 --> 00:45:16,567
Does anyone know
what the hell these 2 jumbos
1194
00:45:16,634 --> 00:45:17,868
are talking about?
1195
00:45:17,934 --> 00:45:19,400
Unfortunately,
1196
00:45:19,467 --> 00:45:21,467
our Japanese interpreter
never showed up.
1197
00:45:21,534 --> 00:45:24,701
But lucky for us,
I speak fluent Japanese.
1198
00:45:24,767 --> 00:45:26,534
He does?
1199
00:45:26,601 --> 00:45:28,100
[Speaking Japanese]
1200
00:45:28,167 --> 00:45:30,300
...Toyota,
Madame Butterfly...
1201
00:45:30,367 --> 00:45:32,534
[Speaking Japanese]
1202
00:45:32,601 --> 00:45:33,634
Oh, really?
1203
00:45:33,701 --> 00:45:34,767
They say you're nothing
1204
00:45:34,834 --> 00:45:36,601
but a couple of steroid-popping pimps,
1205
00:45:36,667 --> 00:45:38,100
and you couldn't lick the sweat
1206
00:45:38,167 --> 00:45:39,434
off their flabby armpits.
1207
00:45:39,501 --> 00:45:43,167
Tell Tubby he couldn't last
2 seconds in the ring with me,
1208
00:45:43,234 --> 00:45:46,901
not even if his life
depended on it!
1209
00:45:46,968 --> 00:45:48,033
[Speaking Japanese]
1210
00:45:48,100 --> 00:45:49,701
You tell them
1211
00:45:49,767 --> 00:45:51,200
we'll wipe the floor with
their diaper-wearing butts!
1212
00:45:51,267 --> 00:45:52,667
I'm going for muffins.
1213
00:45:52,734 --> 00:45:53,734
Yeah, dear. Whatever.
1214
00:45:53,801 --> 00:45:55,400
They wanna know--
In your relationship,
1215
00:45:55,467 --> 00:45:56,701
which one is the man,
1216
00:45:56,767 --> 00:45:58,467
and which one is the woman?
1217
00:45:58,534 --> 00:46:00,367
[Yelling and grunting]
1218
00:46:00,434 --> 00:46:01,701
�����, I don't like this at all.
1219
00:46:01,767 --> 00:46:02,834
Aah!
1220
00:46:02,901 --> 00:46:04,901
Don't worry, sir.
It's just a setup.
1221
00:46:04,968 --> 00:46:05,901
It's all part of the act.
1222
00:46:05,968 --> 00:46:08,300
Aah!
1223
00:46:08,367 --> 00:46:10,767
Good heavens.
Son, are you all right?
1224
00:46:10,834 --> 00:46:12,667
Yeah.
1225
00:46:12,734 --> 00:46:14,567
There you are.
Aah!
1226
00:46:14,634 --> 00:46:16,901
I'm telling you,
you're blocking my closeup.
1227
00:46:16,968 --> 00:46:18,901
Whoa, very realistic, sir.
1228
00:46:18,968 --> 00:46:20,133
Hyah!
1229
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:21,868
Aah!
1230
00:46:23,300 --> 00:46:26,667
����: Boys, boys, can't we
all just get along?
1231
00:46:28,467 --> 00:46:30,200
Can I help you?
1232
00:46:30,267 --> 00:46:32,801
I'm ���� Sparks.
I'm looking for my father ����.
1233
00:46:32,868 --> 00:46:35,200
Oh, yes. He's in the living room.
1234
00:46:35,267 --> 00:46:36,734
Follow me, please.
1235
00:46:36,801 --> 00:46:40,234
Muffin? They're mighty popular.
1236
00:46:48,834 --> 00:46:50,200
Hey, everything's getting
out of hand here.
1237
00:46:50,267 --> 00:46:51,300
There he is.
1238
00:46:53,267 --> 00:46:55,133
What is going on in here?
1239
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,167
Oh, ����. Egypt.
What are you doing here?
1240
00:46:57,234 --> 00:46:58,167
I'm worried about you.
1241
00:46:58,234 --> 00:46:59,167
Aah!
1242
00:46:59,234 --> 00:47:00,634
Oh. Stop!
1243
00:47:00,701 --> 00:47:01,934
Joey:
Oh, my God! The snake's loose!
1244
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,234
Sandy:
Get a wide shot of that snake.
1245
00:47:04,300 --> 00:47:05,567
What is all this?
1246
00:47:05,634 --> 00:47:07,334
Aw, nothing.
I'm doing a show.
1247
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,334
Oh, I'm sorry I missed
your gig the other night.
1248
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:10,334
I really wanted to be there.
1249
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:11,467
Don't worry about it.
1250
00:47:11,534 --> 00:47:13,000
Listen, when we heard
you were stuck down here,
1251
00:47:13,067 --> 00:47:14,434
we booked the band
into a local club.
1252
00:47:14,501 --> 00:47:15,701
Aah!
1253
00:47:15,767 --> 00:47:17,567
Sumo!
1254
00:47:17,634 --> 00:47:18,601
Aah!
1255
00:47:18,667 --> 00:47:21,100
Emily:
Oh, you, put my husband down.
1256
00:47:21,167 --> 00:47:22,267
Aah!
1257
00:47:22,334 --> 00:47:25,033
Where are you going?
Robby. Robby, honey.
1258
00:47:25,100 --> 00:47:28,667
����������. ����������, I want you
to meet my son ����.
1259
00:47:28,734 --> 00:47:30,767
He'll be visiting us
for a few days, you know?
1260
00:47:30,834 --> 00:47:32,934
Help me.
1261
00:47:34,167 --> 00:47:38,133
Well, the ���������� says hello.
1262
00:47:42,767 --> 00:47:44,968
Welcome back to Talk Soup.
I'm John Henson.
1263
00:47:45,033 --> 00:47:47,033
Well, yet another fight
broke out
1264
00:47:47,100 --> 00:47:48,767
on The ���� ������ Show
this week
1265
00:47:48,834 --> 00:47:51,067
when ���� and
���������� ������� mixed it up
1266
00:47:51,133 --> 00:47:53,300
with some nasty wrestlers.
Let's watch.
1267
00:47:54,934 --> 00:47:57,734
Aah!
1268
00:47:57,801 --> 00:48:01,734
Oh, man. Who's ����'s
new promoter, Don King?
1269
00:48:01,801 --> 00:48:04,501
Let's get ready to rumble!
1270
00:48:04,567 --> 00:48:05,634
Now, folks, you hear about this?
1271
00:48:05,701 --> 00:48:06,934
I hear that ���� ������
1272
00:48:07,033 --> 00:48:09,467
is actually sleeping in
���������� �������'s bedroom.
1273
00:48:09,534 --> 00:48:11,267
The only problem is,
���� says the ����������'s wife
1274
00:48:11,334 --> 00:48:13,167
keeps hogging all the covers.
1275
00:48:15,067 --> 00:48:16,334
I don't know about that.
1276
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,934
I thought there was going
to be a total transformation.
1277
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,567
That was the same old
���� ������ Show.
1278
00:48:22,634 --> 00:48:25,267
The next show's going
to be much, much better.
1279
00:48:25,334 --> 00:48:26,434
I swear to God.
1280
00:48:26,501 --> 00:48:30,834
Ho ho ho. No.
There's not gonna be any more shows.
1281
00:48:30,901 --> 00:48:31,868
[Whistles]
1282
00:48:31,934 --> 00:48:34,801
Tell him it's over.
1283
00:48:34,868 --> 00:48:37,667
What are you saying, sir?
You gonna cancel us?
1284
00:48:37,734 --> 00:48:39,200
Yes!
1285
00:48:39,267 --> 00:48:42,033
[Sighs] Well, if that's
the way you want it,
1286
00:48:42,100 --> 00:48:45,334
I guess that's how it's gotta be.
1287
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:46,868
I guess ���� will just have to take
1288
00:48:46,934 --> 00:48:49,234
one of the other 3 network offers
1289
00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:51,033
to air the special.
1290
00:48:51,100 --> 00:48:52,767
Special? What special?
1291
00:48:52,834 --> 00:48:55,367
Oh, nothing to concern yourself with,
1292
00:48:55,434 --> 00:48:57,267
I mean, now that it's over
between you and ����.
1293
00:48:57,334 --> 00:49:00,200
Hey, wait a minute. Sandy,
what are you talking about?
1294
00:49:00,267 --> 00:49:01,534
Why didn't you tell me about this?
1295
00:49:01,601 --> 00:49:04,100
Well, because I thought
I'd just keep it on the Q.T.
1296
00:49:04,167 --> 00:49:06,567
You know, make it
a little surprise for you.
1297
00:49:06,634 --> 00:49:08,667
But, um, I booked ���������� �������
1298
00:49:08,734 --> 00:49:10,667
to do a one-on-one with ����.
1299
00:49:10,734 --> 00:49:13,067
All right.
Well, then I'll tell you what.
1300
00:49:13,133 --> 00:49:16,033
I-I'll put a whole big
campaign behind this show.
1301
00:49:16,100 --> 00:49:17,267
Oh, great, but you know what?
1302
00:49:17,334 --> 00:49:19,501
You should hold off
until the day of the show.
1303
00:49:19,567 --> 00:49:22,033
Hold it? Why?
1304
00:49:22,100 --> 00:49:24,601
I haven't worked out
all the particulars
1305
00:49:24,667 --> 00:49:25,901
with the ����������'s people yet.
1306
00:49:25,968 --> 00:49:28,033
Yeah, but you're gonna work it out.
1307
00:49:28,100 --> 00:49:31,000
Uh, yes. I'm going to
get right on top of it.
1308
00:49:32,300 --> 00:49:33,501
�����...
1309
00:49:36,934 --> 00:49:38,234
Oh, shit.
1310
00:50:26,901 --> 00:50:28,601
Aah! Aah!
1311
00:50:28,667 --> 00:50:29,968
Aah!
1312
00:50:30,033 --> 00:50:35,267
Mom! Daddy! Mom! Daddy!
There's a man in my room!
1313
00:50:35,334 --> 00:50:38,234
Daddy! Mom!
Daddy! Daddy!
1314
00:50:38,300 --> 00:50:40,400
What happened, your husband come home?
1315
00:50:40,467 --> 00:50:44,200
Aah!
1316
00:50:44,267 --> 00:50:46,367
It's frustrating for all of us,
baby doll.
1317
00:50:46,434 --> 00:50:47,534
Daddy, I cannot believe
1318
00:50:47,601 --> 00:50:49,400
you're letting this man
treat you this way.
1319
00:50:49,467 --> 00:50:51,601
For heaven's sakes,
just throw him out.
1320
00:50:51,667 --> 00:50:53,334
Darling, I can't do that.
����� Bishop
1321
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:55,501
says that would adversely
impact my campaign.
1322
00:50:55,567 --> 00:50:58,267
Well, I have no campaign,
so if I throw him out, it's OK.
1323
00:50:58,334 --> 00:50:59,667
�������, honey, don't do that.
1324
00:50:59,734 --> 00:51:01,601
����� says if I'm nice to him--
1325
00:51:01,667 --> 00:51:04,200
����� says?
Listen to you, daddy.
1326
00:51:04,267 --> 00:51:06,734
You don't even know who you
are anymore without �����.
1327
00:51:06,801 --> 00:51:08,634
Good night, daddy.
1328
00:51:08,701 --> 00:51:11,334
Wait, baby doll.
Wait. Hon...
1329
00:51:24,834 --> 00:51:27,434
[Door opens]
Welcome home, Sis.
1330
00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:28,434
What are you doing?
1331
00:51:28,501 --> 00:51:30,234
���� wants some down pillows.
1332
00:51:30,300 --> 00:51:33,801
Get out of the way, Toots.
Hot stuff coming through.
1333
00:51:33,868 --> 00:51:35,901
[Door opens]
If you need anything, Mr. Sparks,
1334
00:51:35,968 --> 00:51:37,567
buzz me on the intercom.
1335
00:51:37,634 --> 00:51:39,567
Good morning, darling.
[Kiss]
1336
00:51:39,634 --> 00:51:42,167
* Camptown races, hear my song *
1337
00:51:42,234 --> 00:51:43,267
* Doo-dah *
1338
00:51:43,334 --> 00:51:45,267
* Doo-dah *
1339
00:51:45,334 --> 00:51:46,801
����:
Come in.
1340
00:51:48,934 --> 00:51:49,901
Mr. Sparks...
[Door closes]
1341
00:51:49,968 --> 00:51:52,434
Oh, those yankees.
You can't stop 'em.
1342
00:51:52,501 --> 00:51:54,601
I'm ������� �������,
and I want to talk to you--
1343
00:51:54,667 --> 00:51:56,767
Oh, yeah. We sortamet last night.
1344
00:51:56,834 --> 00:51:59,501
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
1345
00:51:59,567 --> 00:52:01,467
You see, my father and I
were talking--
1346
00:52:01,534 --> 00:52:03,667
Oh, your father's a great guy.
The best. And your mother--
1347
00:52:03,734 --> 00:52:06,734
A real doll. And your brother--
Cute as heck.
1348
00:52:06,801 --> 00:52:08,801
In fact, I gave him
a job working for me.
1349
00:52:08,868 --> 00:52:10,667
You may be able to charm
the rest of my family,
1350
00:52:10,734 --> 00:52:11,701
but not me.
1351
00:52:11,767 --> 00:52:13,400
Oh, by the way,
say hello to my son ����.
1352
00:52:13,467 --> 00:52:15,868
How do you do?
I wou--
1353
00:52:15,934 --> 00:52:17,868
Hey. Ohh.
1354
00:52:17,934 --> 00:52:19,400
Hi.
1355
00:52:19,467 --> 00:52:21,667
Listen, I'm sorry about last night.
1356
00:52:21,734 --> 00:52:22,868
They-- They told me you weren't home.
1357
00:52:22,934 --> 00:52:23,868
That's OK.
1358
00:52:23,934 --> 00:52:25,901
I must have sounded
like a real wacko.
1359
00:52:25,968 --> 00:52:28,567
I'd scream, too, if there
was a naked guy in my bed.
1360
00:52:28,634 --> 00:52:31,234
Ho. A few guys I know
wouldn't mind at all.
1361
00:52:31,300 --> 00:52:32,567
Oh, ����.
1362
00:52:32,634 --> 00:52:33,801
����, grab Egypt, will you?
1363
00:52:33,868 --> 00:52:35,000
He's due for doo-doo.
1364
00:52:36,167 --> 00:52:37,267
Uh...
1365
00:52:37,334 --> 00:52:39,634
Hey, would you like to join us?
1366
00:52:39,701 --> 00:52:41,334
Sure, I'd love to.
1367
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:42,667
Great.
1368
00:52:44,534 --> 00:52:46,067
Um...
1369
00:52:46,133 --> 00:52:47,367
Oh.
1370
00:52:47,434 --> 00:52:48,734
Oh, OK.
1371
00:52:48,801 --> 00:52:51,868
OK. I'll just wait right outside.
1372
00:52:51,934 --> 00:52:53,334
OK. Thanks.
1373
00:52:54,467 --> 00:52:55,767
Bye.
1374
00:52:57,501 --> 00:52:58,367
Wow.
1375
00:53:08,100 --> 00:53:09,601
All right, Sparks.
1376
00:53:09,667 --> 00:53:10,934
Look at me.
1377
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:12,234
[Egypt barks]
1378
00:53:12,300 --> 00:53:14,400
- Who's that?
- Oh, a little doggie.
1379
00:53:14,467 --> 00:53:16,567
A couple of lovers, huh?
1380
00:53:16,634 --> 00:53:18,133
Come on, ����.
1381
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,000
Where are you?
1382
00:53:26,167 --> 00:53:27,634
Heh heh heh heh.
1383
00:53:36,601 --> 00:53:39,300
Back injury, my ass.
1384
00:53:39,367 --> 00:53:41,067
I knew he was faking it.
1385
00:53:41,133 --> 00:53:42,667
Now we get the photos.
1386
00:53:46,234 --> 00:53:47,167
Unh.
1387
00:53:47,234 --> 00:53:50,300
Oh. Oh. Unh.
1388
00:53:50,367 --> 00:53:52,100
What the-- Oh, Lord.
1389
00:53:52,167 --> 00:53:54,133
Oh, Lord, no. Unh.
1390
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:55,801
Unh.
1391
00:53:55,868 --> 00:53:58,534
Oh, my-- Oh, my God.
1392
00:53:58,601 --> 00:54:00,000
Help.
1393
00:54:00,067 --> 00:54:03,133
Aah!
1394
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,934
Aah!
1395
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:07,767
Oh, my God.
1396
00:54:08,968 --> 00:54:11,868
Aah!
1397
00:54:11,934 --> 00:54:13,634
No!
1398
00:54:14,934 --> 00:54:16,334
[Horn honks]
Aah!
1399
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:17,334
[Honk honk]
1400
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:20,400
Aah!
[Honk honk]
1401
00:54:20,467 --> 00:54:23,667
Oh, mommy!
1402
00:54:23,734 --> 00:54:26,300
[Splash]
1403
00:54:32,334 --> 00:54:35,234
1,001 Mississippi.
1,002 Mississippi.
1404
00:54:35,300 --> 00:54:36,467
1,003 Mississippi.
1405
00:54:36,534 --> 00:54:37,767
Hey, dad, you can walk.
1406
00:54:37,834 --> 00:54:39,567
����.
1407
00:54:39,634 --> 00:54:42,300
How do you like that? It--
1408
00:54:42,367 --> 00:54:44,167
It must've been a muscle spasm.
1409
00:54:44,234 --> 00:54:45,601
But I, uh--
1410
00:54:45,667 --> 00:54:47,801
But I-- I really can't walk.
1411
00:54:49,701 --> 00:54:52,067
Oh, my God, dad, you're faking it,
aren't you?
1412
00:54:52,133 --> 00:54:53,501
I thought you were really hurt.
1413
00:54:53,567 --> 00:54:54,968
����, I'm sorry.
1414
00:54:55,033 --> 00:54:58,667
I had to do it.
Otherwise, I'd lose my show.
1415
00:54:58,734 --> 00:54:59,834
Your show? Your show?
1416
00:54:59,901 --> 00:55:00,834
Of course,
I should've known.
1417
00:55:00,901 --> 00:55:04,701
����... you don't understand.
1418
00:55:04,767 --> 00:55:07,167
I mean, this is too important.
1419
00:55:07,234 --> 00:55:09,601
No. Dad, it's always been like this.
1420
00:55:09,667 --> 00:55:12,834
Everything you do
is too important.
1421
00:55:15,601 --> 00:55:16,467
[Door closes]
1422
00:55:21,968 --> 00:55:24,767
- Oh, great.
- Hi. Hello.
1423
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:34,501
[Cough]
1424
00:55:34,567 --> 00:55:36,334
[Cough]
1425
00:55:40,868 --> 00:55:42,000
Great.
1426
00:55:44,300 --> 00:55:46,801
What the hell are you doing up?
Do you wanna get caught?
1427
00:55:46,868 --> 00:55:48,934
Get in bed.
Come on, get in bed.
1428
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,133
If I get in bed,
will you tell me a story?
1429
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,300
Ha. Very funny.
Come on, get in bed.
1430
00:55:53,367 --> 00:55:55,234
Sandy, I can't just lay in bed.
1431
00:55:55,300 --> 00:55:56,267
When I'm on my back,
1432
00:55:56,334 --> 00:55:57,667
I wanna be enjoying myself.
1433
00:55:57,734 --> 00:55:58,901
Do me a favor, will you?
Call New York.
1434
00:55:58,968 --> 00:56:00,434
Tell Vivian to come down here
1435
00:56:00,501 --> 00:56:01,534
and hang with me, will you?
1436
00:56:01,601 --> 00:56:02,567
What, are you crazy?
1437
00:56:02,634 --> 00:56:03,634
You can't have any girls up here.
1438
00:56:03,701 --> 00:56:05,300
You're supposed to be
in critical condition.
1439
00:56:05,367 --> 00:56:08,100
Huh. If 4 days go by,
I don't have sex,
1440
00:56:08,167 --> 00:56:09,601
to me that's critical condition.
1441
00:56:09,667 --> 00:56:12,367
Look, if you want things to
work out, you just stay put
1442
00:56:12,434 --> 00:56:14,133
until we get the ����������
on the show, OK?
1443
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:15,801
Suppose the ����������
don't do the show?
1444
00:56:15,868 --> 00:56:17,334
Hey, not an option.
1445
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:19,367
Remember unemployment?
Skid row?
1446
00:56:19,434 --> 00:56:21,133
Who knows what'll happen to Joe?
1447
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,567
He's nothing without you.
1448
00:56:22,634 --> 00:56:24,834
Hey, look. You stay out
of the ����������'s hair,
1449
00:56:24,901 --> 00:56:27,167
and I...
will do some work on--
1450
00:56:27,234 --> 00:56:28,868
[Squirt squirt]
�����.
1451
00:56:28,934 --> 00:56:31,601
Oh, and don't forget
what the doctor said.
1452
00:56:31,667 --> 00:56:33,434
Don't lift anything over 10 pounds,
OK?
1453
00:56:33,501 --> 00:56:35,767
Don't lift anything over 10 pounds.
1454
00:56:35,834 --> 00:56:38,100
Now I can never take a leak.
1455
00:56:38,167 --> 00:56:39,400
Oh, please.
1456
00:56:49,434 --> 00:56:51,868
Let's see... escorts.
Ah, here's one.
1457
00:56:51,934 --> 00:56:54,234
"We will fill any fantasy."
1458
00:56:54,300 --> 00:56:55,434
[Doorbell rings]
1459
00:56:59,567 --> 00:57:01,167
- Hi.
- Hello.
1460
00:57:01,234 --> 00:57:04,067
I'm here to see Mr... ���� ������.
1461
00:57:04,133 --> 00:57:06,701
Oh, yes.
Upstairs, first door to the right.
1462
00:57:06,767 --> 00:57:08,133
Oh.
1463
00:57:10,434 --> 00:57:13,767
Um, whatever
your house call fee is,
1464
00:57:13,834 --> 00:57:15,200
please, put it on our bill.
1465
00:57:15,267 --> 00:57:17,567
Mr. Sparks already paid
with his credit card.
1466
00:57:17,634 --> 00:57:19,968
We always get paid up front,
1467
00:57:20,033 --> 00:57:21,501
the way we operate.
1468
00:57:21,567 --> 00:57:25,100
Oh, no. They're going to operate.
1469
00:57:25,167 --> 00:57:27,634
The man's a menace.
1470
00:57:27,701 --> 00:57:29,834
I don't care if they sue me,
1471
00:57:29,901 --> 00:57:32,267
he is not doing another
broadcast from this house.
1472
00:57:32,334 --> 00:57:34,534
But that's not an option, sir,
1473
00:57:34,601 --> 00:57:37,267
with all due respect.
1474
00:57:38,801 --> 00:57:40,267
You see, sir, after airing
1475
00:57:40,334 --> 00:57:42,234
your campaign spots
during the sumo show,
1476
00:57:42,300 --> 00:57:44,934
awareness among young
voters has gone way up.
1477
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:46,968
Having Sparks here
has actually helped us.
1478
00:57:47,033 --> 00:57:49,767
In fact, I think you should
consider doing his show.
1479
00:57:49,834 --> 00:57:52,801
�����, I happen to think
it's time for you to go now.
1480
00:57:52,868 --> 00:57:55,400
I'll just leave you here
to ponder the possibility.
1481
00:57:55,467 --> 00:57:57,100
Just kind of kick it around
in your head.
1482
00:57:57,167 --> 00:57:58,501
Just try it on for size.
1483
00:57:58,567 --> 00:58:00,367
Bye, �����.
1484
00:58:00,434 --> 00:58:02,133
[Humming]
1485
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:04,868
It's been real nice
doing business with you.
1486
00:58:04,934 --> 00:58:06,267
Ooh, I'll tell you one thing, honey--
1487
00:58:06,334 --> 00:58:08,701
You should be the head nurse.
1488
00:58:08,767 --> 00:58:10,834
A hooker.
What a business that is.
1489
00:58:10,901 --> 00:58:13,100
That's the best racket
in the world.
1490
00:58:13,167 --> 00:58:15,667
You got it, you sell it,
and you still got it.
1491
00:58:17,934 --> 00:58:20,334
"Back out of the election--"
1492
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:22,801
What the hell is this?
1493
00:58:24,234 --> 00:58:25,167
[Wheezes]
1494
00:58:26,767 --> 00:58:30,267
[Labored breathing]
1495
00:58:30,334 --> 00:58:32,367
�����, darling, are you all right?
1496
00:58:32,434 --> 00:58:35,567
I don't know. Uh, I think
I'm having an anxiety attack.
1497
00:58:35,634 --> 00:58:36,567
Oh, darling.
1498
00:58:36,634 --> 00:58:39,000
I'll get the nurse.
1499
00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:41,367
[Giggles]
1500
00:58:41,434 --> 00:58:43,067
Thanks for the house call, honey.
1501
00:58:43,133 --> 00:58:44,300
Bye-bye.
1502
00:58:46,467 --> 00:58:48,167
[Sliding door opens]
1503
00:58:48,234 --> 00:58:51,667
Hi. Your wife sent me in to, uh...
1504
00:58:51,734 --> 00:58:53,667
take care of you.
1505
00:58:53,734 --> 00:58:56,234
I've been under a great deal
of stress of late.
1506
00:58:56,300 --> 00:58:57,400
Ohh.
1507
00:58:57,467 --> 00:59:00,767
Well, you just sit back and relax,
1508
00:59:00,834 --> 00:59:03,200
and don't you worry
this little head
1509
00:59:03,267 --> 00:59:04,267
about nothing.
1510
00:59:04,334 --> 00:59:06,701
Well, I really do appreciate this,
but...
1511
00:59:06,767 --> 00:59:10,267
I really can't see
what you're able to do.
1512
00:59:10,334 --> 00:59:13,234
Great balls of fire!
Never in my life--
1513
00:59:13,300 --> 00:59:15,167
What's going on in there?
1514
00:59:15,234 --> 00:59:18,868
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
He just wasn't up to it.
1515
00:59:18,934 --> 00:59:22,601
What is going on?
I hate that man!
1516
00:59:23,734 --> 00:59:24,667
[Woof]
1517
00:59:24,734 --> 00:59:25,667
[Giggles]
1518
00:59:25,734 --> 00:59:26,701
Come here.
Come here.
1519
00:59:26,767 --> 00:59:29,334
[Woof woof]
1520
00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:31,567
[Laughing]
1521
00:59:31,634 --> 00:59:34,901
I can't believe
you're ���� ������' son.
1522
00:59:34,968 --> 00:59:36,534
Yeah, I get that a lot.
1523
00:59:36,601 --> 00:59:39,200
I bet you do. How long
do you think it'll be
1524
00:59:39,267 --> 00:59:41,234
before your dad's well again?
1525
00:59:41,300 --> 00:59:43,801
Oh, my dad's never been well.
1526
00:59:43,868 --> 00:59:45,133
Ha ha ha.
1527
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:46,767
OK, pull!
1528
00:59:48,767 --> 00:59:51,200
Wow-wee!
1529
00:59:51,267 --> 00:59:52,801
[Crash] Unh.
1530
00:59:52,868 --> 00:59:54,367
[Glass shatters]
1531
00:59:59,634 --> 01:00:03,968
[Chuckles] Oh, boy.
This is a Kodak moment.
1532
01:00:04,033 --> 01:00:05,667
Now, how was that one?
1533
01:00:05,734 --> 01:00:07,200
Bull's-eye!
1534
01:00:07,267 --> 01:00:08,534
Then give me a high one.
1535
01:00:08,601 --> 01:00:10,634
Let's see if you can hit this one.
1536
01:00:10,701 --> 01:00:14,367
Smile, Sparks.
You're on Candid Camera.
1537
01:00:15,601 --> 01:00:17,434
Ok, pull!
1538
01:00:17,501 --> 01:00:18,467
[Clicks]
Oh, shit.
1539
01:00:20,167 --> 01:00:24,734
Aah!
1540
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,400
I still got him.
1541
01:00:31,467 --> 01:00:33,601
No! Shit. Great.
1542
01:00:33,667 --> 01:00:34,834
Just great.
1543
01:00:35,968 --> 01:00:37,934
That was awesome, man.
1544
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:39,467
You sure can shoot.
1545
01:00:39,534 --> 01:00:40,634
My old man taught me.
1546
01:00:40,701 --> 01:00:43,200
My dad won't let me use it alone,
1547
01:00:43,267 --> 01:00:45,033
And he's too busy to teach me.
1548
01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:47,200
Your father's an important man,
you know.
1549
01:00:47,267 --> 01:00:49,567
Yeah, but you're important.
1550
01:00:49,634 --> 01:00:53,801
Yeah. I guess being important
and being a good father--
1551
01:00:53,868 --> 01:00:56,234
They just don't go together,
you know?
1552
01:00:56,300 --> 01:00:58,934
I bet ���� had a great
time when he was a kid
1553
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:00,033
with you as his dad.
1554
01:01:10,067 --> 01:01:11,868
I don't think they're good for you.
1555
01:01:11,934 --> 01:01:13,567
I think they're gonna
find a study someday
1556
01:01:13,634 --> 01:01:14,767
that says it isn't.
1557
01:01:14,834 --> 01:01:16,868
Hey, girls.
How you doing?
1558
01:01:16,934 --> 01:01:19,334
Well, Mr. Sparks.
How are you today?
1559
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:20,934
- I'm OK.
- Good.
1560
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,267
Good. Mr. Sparks,
this is Agnes Farber.
1561
01:01:23,334 --> 01:01:24,300
How do you do?
1562
01:01:24,367 --> 01:01:26,300
And Helen Williams,
judge Williams' wife.
1563
01:01:26,367 --> 01:01:27,534
They're both on the board
1564
01:01:27,601 --> 01:01:30,067
of the save the rain forest
foundation with me.
1565
01:01:30,133 --> 01:01:31,868
Oh, pleased to meet you.
1566
01:01:31,934 --> 01:01:34,968
Mr. Sparks, do you play bridge?
1567
01:01:35,033 --> 01:01:36,767
One of our friends
couldn't make it today.
1568
01:01:36,834 --> 01:01:38,601
We're looking for a fourth.
1569
01:01:38,667 --> 01:01:41,400
Oh. Well, I'll tell you--
I'm looking for a fifth.
1570
01:01:41,467 --> 01:01:42,667
[Giggles]
1571
01:01:42,734 --> 01:01:44,200
He's funny.
1572
01:01:44,267 --> 01:01:45,467
What do you girls play for?
1573
01:01:45,534 --> 01:01:46,801
Mrs. Williams:
A nickel a point.
1574
01:01:46,868 --> 01:01:49,234
Oh, I tell you-- I think
I can handle that...
1575
01:01:49,300 --> 01:01:53,434
as long as you girls
take it easy on me.
1576
01:01:53,501 --> 01:01:56,167
So, you're saving the rain forest,
huh?
1577
01:01:56,234 --> 01:02:00,434
Oh, yes. I love nature.
I am also a bird-watcher.
1578
01:02:00,501 --> 01:02:02,667
I love blue jays.
I love robins.
1579
01:02:02,734 --> 01:02:05,734
But most of all,
I love peacocks.
1580
01:02:05,801 --> 01:02:08,467
I'll bet you do.
1581
01:02:08,534 --> 01:02:11,400
So tell us, what is
your favorite bird?
1582
01:02:11,467 --> 01:02:13,167
My favorite bird, huh?
1583
01:02:14,834 --> 01:02:16,801
The swallow.
1584
01:02:16,868 --> 01:02:18,534
Lovely bird.
1585
01:02:18,601 --> 01:02:21,834
I haven't seen one of those
in the longest time.
1586
01:02:21,901 --> 01:02:24,234
I know.
They're almost extinct.
1587
01:02:24,300 --> 01:02:25,901
So, girls, what are you drinking?
1588
01:02:25,968 --> 01:02:27,501
Oh, iced tea.
1589
01:02:27,567 --> 01:02:29,634
Oh, did you ever have
Long Island iced tea?
1590
01:02:29,701 --> 01:02:31,234
- No.
- No.
1591
01:02:31,300 --> 01:02:33,300
Oh, really?
1592
01:02:33,367 --> 01:02:36,534
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
1593
01:02:36,601 --> 01:02:38,334
I got 2 4s.
1594
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:41,200
I have a pair of aces.
1595
01:02:41,267 --> 01:02:42,267
Pair of aces?
1596
01:02:42,334 --> 01:02:44,701
Hey, honey, don't flatter yourself,
will ya?
1597
01:02:44,767 --> 01:02:47,667
I haven't got anything.
What have you got, ����?
1598
01:02:47,734 --> 01:02:50,133
I got a straight,
but I can't show it to you.
1599
01:02:55,567 --> 01:02:57,200
[Sniff sniff]
Hey, what am I smelling?
1600
01:02:57,267 --> 01:02:58,501
Whose perfume is that?
1601
01:02:58,567 --> 01:02:59,868
Oh, that's me, ����.
1602
01:02:59,934 --> 01:03:01,934
I'm wearing summer's mist.
1603
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,267
Oh, I just love summer's mist.
1604
01:03:04,334 --> 01:03:06,334
I put a dab behind each ear.
1605
01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:09,467
Drives the ���������� crazy.
1606
01:03:09,534 --> 01:03:11,634
Hey, girls.
Want to attract men?
1607
01:03:11,701 --> 01:03:14,033
I'll tell you the best thing
to put behind your ears.
1608
01:03:14,100 --> 01:03:14,968
Your ankles.
1609
01:03:16,467 --> 01:03:18,634
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
1610
01:03:20,234 --> 01:03:24,067
Oh, you naughty boy.
Naughty boy.
1611
01:03:24,133 --> 01:03:26,300
Girls, I'm gonna run along.
1612
01:03:26,367 --> 01:03:29,133
I don't want to see what
gravity has done to you.
1613
01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:32,801
No, ����. Don't go.
Stay and play, please?
1614
01:03:32,868 --> 01:03:35,200
����, ����, you play the piano.
1615
01:03:36,901 --> 01:03:40,234
OK, girls.
Keep your brassieres on.
1616
01:03:40,300 --> 01:03:41,801
[Crack]
1617
01:03:53,534 --> 01:03:55,033
Whoo!
1618
01:03:55,100 --> 01:03:58,467
* Just take those
old records off the shelf *
1619
01:03:58,534 --> 01:04:02,734
* I'd sooner
listen to 'em by myself *
1620
01:04:02,801 --> 01:04:06,667
* Today's music
ain't got the same soul *
1621
01:04:06,734 --> 01:04:12,267
* I like that old-time
rock and roll *
1622
01:04:13,467 --> 01:04:15,334
Emily:
Play it, ����.
1623
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:16,701
Mrs. Farber:
That's right. Do it.
1624
01:04:16,767 --> 01:04:17,901
* Come on over, baby *
1625
01:04:17,968 --> 01:04:19,834
* Whole lotta shakin' goin' on *
1626
01:04:19,901 --> 01:04:21,767
* Whose boy? Your boy, my boy *
1627
01:04:21,834 --> 01:04:23,868
* Come on over, baby *
1628
01:04:23,934 --> 01:04:25,601
* Baby, you can't go wrong *
1629
01:04:25,667 --> 01:04:27,367
* Go wrong, go wrong, go wrong *
1630
01:04:27,434 --> 01:04:29,434
* We ain't fakin' *
1631
01:04:29,501 --> 01:04:33,334
* Whole lotta shakin' goin' on *
1632
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:37,267
Oh, ����, I just love
the way you play piano.
1633
01:04:37,334 --> 01:04:38,467
Aw, this is nothing.
1634
01:04:38,534 --> 01:04:40,868
You should see me play
my upright organ.
1635
01:04:40,934 --> 01:04:43,334
Oh, you rascal, you.
Ha ha ha.
1636
01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:45,667
One more time for Ronnie.
1637
01:04:45,734 --> 01:04:47,067
* Shake it, baby, shake it *
1638
01:04:48,367 --> 01:04:50,801
* Shake it, baby, shake it *
1639
01:04:50,868 --> 01:04:51,801
[Laughter]
1640
01:04:51,868 --> 01:04:52,934
Here we are.
1641
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,400
We'll keep this meeting
as short as we can, sir.
1642
01:04:55,467 --> 01:04:56,467
My pleasure.
1643
01:04:56,534 --> 01:04:58,534
It's an honor to be able
to endorse a man
1644
01:04:58,601 --> 01:05:00,334
with such high family values.
1645
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:01,334
Whoo!
1646
01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:02,801
* Shake it, baby, shake it *
1647
01:05:02,868 --> 01:05:03,934
Whoo! Whoo!
1648
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:05,534
* Shake it, baby, shake it, baby *
1649
01:05:05,601 --> 01:05:07,701
* Come on, baby,
shake it and shake it *
1650
01:05:07,767 --> 01:05:09,067
* Come on over and shake it *
1651
01:05:09,133 --> 01:05:10,734
* Come on over *
1652
01:05:10,801 --> 01:05:12,901
* Come on, baby, shake it now *
1653
01:05:12,968 --> 01:05:15,133
Shake it, baby.
Shake it. Come on.
1654
01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:17,067
Wack-a, wack-a, wack-a.
1655
01:05:18,534 --> 01:05:20,868
Helen, stop that!
1656
01:05:20,934 --> 01:05:22,701
At once!
1657
01:05:26,033 --> 01:05:26,968
Aah!
1658
01:05:27,033 --> 01:05:28,067
[Thud]
1659
01:05:28,133 --> 01:05:29,100
Emily!
1660
01:05:29,167 --> 01:05:30,601
What in the name of Sam Hill
1661
01:05:30,667 --> 01:05:31,601
has come over you?
1662
01:05:31,667 --> 01:05:35,534
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
1663
01:05:35,601 --> 01:05:37,801
Hey, ����������, you can
take her upstairs.
1664
01:05:37,868 --> 01:05:39,067
She's ready now.
1665
01:05:39,133 --> 01:05:40,167
[Ladies laugh]
1666
01:05:46,367 --> 01:05:48,634
Honey, if I was with you right now,
I'd show you sex.
1667
01:05:48,701 --> 01:05:50,367
I'd give it to you real good.
1668
01:05:50,434 --> 01:05:54,601
Oh, what's that?
My 3 minutes are up, huh? OK.
1669
01:05:54,667 --> 01:05:56,067
[Door opens]
1670
01:05:56,133 --> 01:05:57,601
Mr. Sparks...
1671
01:05:59,534 --> 01:06:01,501
[Muttering]
1672
01:06:01,567 --> 01:06:03,734
I cannot take you in this house
1673
01:06:03,801 --> 01:06:04,868
one more night, sir.
1674
01:06:04,934 --> 01:06:06,434
Get that filthy mongrel
1675
01:06:06,501 --> 01:06:07,934
off my grandmother's settee!
1676
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:11,000
Egypt.
Down, Egypt, down.
1677
01:06:11,067 --> 01:06:15,000
That horrible animal did his,
you know...
1678
01:06:16,367 --> 01:06:17,534
did his business
1679
01:06:17,601 --> 01:06:19,067
in my study again last night.
1680
01:06:19,133 --> 01:06:21,300
Hey, ����������, that's why
we call him Egypt.
1681
01:06:21,367 --> 01:06:22,901
Every room, he leaves a pyramid.
1682
01:06:22,968 --> 01:06:25,367
That animal is dangerous.
1683
01:06:25,434 --> 01:06:27,167
Oh, peach fuzz.
1684
01:06:27,234 --> 01:06:29,601
Are you kidding?
Egypt is harmless.
1685
01:06:29,667 --> 01:06:31,601
There's not an aggressive
bone in his body.
1686
01:06:35,300 --> 01:06:36,734
Well, maybe one.
1687
01:06:36,801 --> 01:06:39,934
Get this dog off me.
1688
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:41,667
Egypt, cold shower.
Cold shower, Egypt.
1689
01:06:41,734 --> 01:06:43,434
For God's sake, man.
1690
01:06:43,501 --> 01:06:45,167
Why don't you mate that dog?
1691
01:06:45,234 --> 01:06:47,234
Mate him? Are you kidding?
I wouldn't mate him.
1692
01:06:47,300 --> 01:06:49,300
Let him go through
what I go through.
1693
01:06:49,367 --> 01:06:51,467
Mr. Sparks...
1694
01:06:51,534 --> 01:06:54,267
I am sorry that you
were hurt in my home,
1695
01:06:54,334 --> 01:06:57,000
but you have overstayed your welcome.
1696
01:06:57,067 --> 01:06:59,834
I want you out of here tomorrow.
1697
01:06:59,901 --> 01:07:02,501
I really appreciate everything
you've done for me, you know?
1698
01:07:02,567 --> 01:07:04,834
I owe you one.
And to prove it,
1699
01:07:04,901 --> 01:07:06,267
I'm gonna have you
as a guest on my show.
1700
01:07:06,334 --> 01:07:09,067
Ha ha. Have you taken leave
of your senses?
1701
01:07:09,133 --> 01:07:11,567
I'd rather roll in honey,
jump on an ant hill,
1702
01:07:11,634 --> 01:07:13,167
and walk barefoot across hot coals.
1703
01:07:13,234 --> 01:07:16,267
Sounds good, but we had a guy
do that last week.
1704
01:07:16,334 --> 01:07:17,934
Tomorrow!
1705
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,000
Out!
1706
01:07:19,067 --> 01:07:21,367
Aw, come on, ����������.
Do the show, will you?
1707
01:07:21,434 --> 01:07:22,601
Robby would love it.
1708
01:07:22,667 --> 01:07:24,367
What are you doing talking to my son?
1709
01:07:24,434 --> 01:07:26,934
He's a good kid, Robby.
Smart kid. He loves you.
1710
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:28,868
He just needs some attention,
that's all.
1711
01:07:28,934 --> 01:07:31,200
Don't tell me about my son.
I know my son.
1712
01:07:31,267 --> 01:07:34,868
You're a bad influence.
You stay away from him.
1713
01:07:34,934 --> 01:07:36,601
Oh, and another thing--
1714
01:07:36,667 --> 01:07:39,400
That-- That-- That son of yours
1715
01:07:39,467 --> 01:07:41,100
is taking my daughter
out on a date tonight.
1716
01:07:41,167 --> 01:07:43,000
I want her in bed by 12:00.
1717
01:07:43,067 --> 01:07:44,934
Don't worry about it, will you?
1718
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:47,267
I know ����. He'll have her
in bed by 10:00.
1719
01:07:49,067 --> 01:07:50,334
I--
1720
01:07:51,534 --> 01:07:52,667
Yeah.
1721
01:07:56,434 --> 01:07:58,300
I hate that man.
1722
01:08:04,701 --> 01:08:05,634
Hey, ����,
1723
01:08:05,701 --> 01:08:08,467
Egypt found this wallet outside.
1724
01:08:08,534 --> 01:08:10,067
Oh, yeah?
1725
01:08:10,133 --> 01:08:11,567
Ooh, that's Miller!
1726
01:08:11,634 --> 01:08:13,567
Yeah, he must be down here
spying on me.
1727
01:08:13,634 --> 01:08:14,567
Who is he?
1728
01:08:14,634 --> 01:08:16,567
Well, he's not a fan of mine.
1729
01:08:16,634 --> 01:08:18,701
In fact, he can blow
the whole thing.
1730
01:08:18,767 --> 01:08:20,067
Yeah, well, don't worry, ����.
1731
01:08:20,133 --> 01:08:21,834
With me and Egypt standing guard,
1732
01:08:21,901 --> 01:08:24,067
He won't get within
100 yards of this place.
1733
01:08:24,133 --> 01:08:25,801
Ha ha, you're all right.
1734
01:08:50,934 --> 01:08:51,801
Mmmf!
1735
01:09:12,767 --> 01:09:14,701
It's just I've heard
about you Southern women.
1736
01:09:14,767 --> 01:09:17,100
You have not heard a thing
about Southern women,
1737
01:09:17,167 --> 01:09:19,067
and you know it.
1738
01:09:19,133 --> 01:09:21,367
All right, now listen,
don't drive too fast, OK?
1739
01:09:21,434 --> 01:09:22,767
Hang on.
1740
01:09:23,968 --> 01:09:25,033
Here we go!
1741
01:09:25,100 --> 01:09:30,100
Aah!
1742
01:09:30,167 --> 01:09:31,734
Help!
1743
01:09:32,934 --> 01:09:35,267
Aah-ya! Aah-ya! Aah-ya!
1744
01:09:35,334 --> 01:09:39,200
Aah!
1745
01:09:39,267 --> 01:09:41,467
Yah-ouch!
1746
01:09:41,534 --> 01:09:42,734
�������:
Whoo!
1747
01:09:42,801 --> 01:09:46,567
Aah!
1748
01:09:46,634 --> 01:09:48,300
Oof!
1749
01:09:48,367 --> 01:09:51,234
[Whimpering]
1750
01:09:53,567 --> 01:09:54,501
[Chirping]
1751
01:09:54,567 --> 01:09:55,834
[Whispering]
����? Psst.
1752
01:09:55,901 --> 01:09:57,634
����? ����?
1753
01:09:57,701 --> 01:09:58,634
Hey, Joey, up here.
1754
01:09:58,701 --> 01:09:59,968
What the hell you doing up there?
1755
01:10:00,033 --> 01:10:00,968
Come on, let's go.
1756
01:10:01,033 --> 01:10:02,234
I'll be right down.
1757
01:10:02,300 --> 01:10:04,734
[Squeaking]
1758
01:10:04,801 --> 01:10:07,167
Hey, what's going on here?
1759
01:10:07,234 --> 01:10:09,567
Hey! Where did you come from?
1760
01:10:09,634 --> 01:10:10,767
Get out of here, will you?
1761
01:10:10,834 --> 01:10:12,467
Hey, buy me a drink first!
1762
01:10:12,534 --> 01:10:13,634
Will you quit the clowning?
1763
01:10:13,701 --> 01:10:15,100
Oh, ooh!
1764
01:10:15,167 --> 01:10:17,000
Go find your own nuts,
will you?
1765
01:10:17,067 --> 01:10:18,434
Hey, hey, what?
1766
01:10:18,501 --> 01:10:19,701
[Crunch]
Ow!
1767
01:10:20,901 --> 01:10:22,434
He's dead.
1768
01:10:22,501 --> 01:10:24,701
Are you all right?
1769
01:10:24,767 --> 01:10:26,367
What were you doing?
1770
01:10:26,434 --> 01:10:27,434
That squirrel,
1771
01:10:27,501 --> 01:10:30,400
he was after my macadamias.
1772
01:10:30,467 --> 01:10:32,167
Did you remember
to bring my disguise?
1773
01:10:32,234 --> 01:10:33,200
It's in the car.
1774
01:10:33,267 --> 01:10:34,200
�����:
����������?
1775
01:10:34,267 --> 01:10:35,334
Shh!
1776
01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:38,334
����������:
�����, come in here right away!
1777
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:40,834
Close that door!
1778
01:10:40,901 --> 01:10:43,667
What was so urgent that you
needed to see me, sir?
1779
01:10:43,734 --> 01:10:45,667
Well, here it is, �����.
1780
01:10:45,734 --> 01:10:47,167
I'm being blackmailed.
1781
01:10:47,234 --> 01:10:48,167
What?
1782
01:10:48,234 --> 01:10:50,000
I received a fax and a telephone call
1783
01:10:50,067 --> 01:10:52,000
telling me that if I
don't do what they say
1784
01:10:52,067 --> 01:10:53,200
and pull out of the race,
1785
01:10:53,267 --> 01:10:54,801
they're going to go public with this.
1786
01:10:54,868 --> 01:10:56,834
They say that they have proof
1787
01:10:56,901 --> 01:10:59,534
of my having had sex
in a motel with a stripper!
1788
01:10:59,601 --> 01:11:00,868
�����:
Proof?
1789
01:11:00,934 --> 01:11:02,200
What kind of proof?
1790
01:11:02,267 --> 01:11:03,200
I don't know.
1791
01:11:03,267 --> 01:11:04,234
Well, that's ridiculous.
1792
01:11:04,300 --> 01:11:05,234
I'm innocent.
1793
01:11:05,300 --> 01:11:06,334
Of course you are.
1794
01:11:06,400 --> 01:11:08,200
It's my word against theirs.
1795
01:11:08,267 --> 01:11:09,968
Absolutely.
1796
01:11:14,934 --> 01:11:18,300
I've never seen that woman
before in my life!
1797
01:11:20,267 --> 01:11:21,534
How do you like that?
1798
01:11:21,601 --> 01:11:23,501
The ����������'s got a little
something extra on the side.
1799
01:11:23,567 --> 01:11:25,167
Be quiet.
I want to hear this.
1800
01:11:25,234 --> 01:11:26,133
Damn!
1801
01:11:27,701 --> 01:11:30,667
Well, it does take two to tango,
sir.
1802
01:11:30,734 --> 01:11:32,734
That's a conspiracy, �����!
1803
01:11:32,801 --> 01:11:34,834
You believe me, don't you?
1804
01:11:34,901 --> 01:11:36,367
Damn it!
1805
01:11:36,434 --> 01:11:37,734
Well, sir, a stripper says
1806
01:11:37,801 --> 01:11:39,234
she had sex with you
in a motel room,
1807
01:11:39,300 --> 01:11:40,734
and then there's this
photo of you naked
1808
01:11:40,801 --> 01:11:42,434
in bed with a naked woman,
1809
01:11:42,501 --> 01:11:45,334
whom you say you never saw.
1810
01:11:48,400 --> 01:11:50,534
Yes, sir.
1811
01:11:50,601 --> 01:11:52,300
Yes, sir, I--
1812
01:11:52,367 --> 01:11:54,667
I believe you.
1813
01:11:56,100 --> 01:11:59,934
[Music plays]
1814
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:02,100
* You don't care for me *
1815
01:12:02,167 --> 01:12:04,200
* I don't care about that *
1816
01:12:04,267 --> 01:12:05,734
* You got a new fool *
1817
01:12:05,801 --> 01:12:07,667
* Ha! I like it like that *
1818
01:12:07,734 --> 01:12:12,367
* I have only one burning desire *
1819
01:12:12,434 --> 01:12:15,701
* Let me stand next to your fire... *
1820
01:12:15,767 --> 01:12:17,767
Hey, he's pretty good, huh?
1821
01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:18,934
Yeah, terrific.
1822
01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:20,934
Can we get out of here
before we get caught?
1823
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:22,267
I know it's a risk,
1824
01:12:22,334 --> 01:12:23,868
But I had to see ����'s band.
1825
01:12:23,934 --> 01:12:26,701
* Let me stand next to your fire *
1826
01:12:26,767 --> 01:12:28,901
* Let me stand *
1827
01:12:28,968 --> 01:12:33,701
* Let me stand *
1828
01:12:33,767 --> 01:12:36,667
[Applause and cheering]
1829
01:12:41,734 --> 01:12:44,667
Imagine, my son
and the ����������'s daughter.
1830
01:12:44,734 --> 01:12:45,801
Joey:
Yeah, they're adorable.
1831
01:12:45,868 --> 01:12:47,400
But he ain't going to be
���������� much longer
1832
01:12:47,467 --> 01:12:48,734
if those pictures come out.
1833
01:12:48,801 --> 01:12:51,300
I can't understand the ����������
getting into that position
1834
01:12:51,367 --> 01:12:52,300
with a stripper.
1835
01:12:52,367 --> 01:12:53,801
I didn't see the pictures.
1836
01:12:53,868 --> 01:12:55,300
What position was he in?
1837
01:12:55,367 --> 01:12:58,467
[Panting]
1838
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:05,868
OK.
1839
01:13:13,934 --> 01:13:16,734
Miller:
Mm-hmm.
1840
01:13:34,701 --> 01:13:36,934
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.
1841
01:13:39,901 --> 01:13:41,234
Aha!
1842
01:13:41,300 --> 01:13:43,033
Ahh.
1843
01:13:45,934 --> 01:13:47,868
I got you now, Sparks.
1844
01:13:47,934 --> 01:13:49,367
Ok.
1845
01:13:49,434 --> 01:13:50,868
Emily.
1846
01:13:50,934 --> 01:13:51,801
Yes?
1847
01:13:52,934 --> 01:13:54,534
I love you.
1848
01:13:54,601 --> 01:13:56,334
Well, I love you, too, �����.
1849
01:13:58,400 --> 01:13:59,300
Yes!
1850
01:14:01,734 --> 01:14:04,234
[Buzzes]
1851
01:14:04,300 --> 01:14:05,868
Wait, honey, don't.
1852
01:14:05,934 --> 01:14:07,634
I'll get it.
1853
01:14:07,701 --> 01:14:09,300
I hate that man.
1854
01:14:11,200 --> 01:14:12,634
Yes, Mr. Sparks.
1855
01:14:12,701 --> 01:14:15,133
The ���������� will be right up.
1856
01:14:19,267 --> 01:14:20,400
[Grr rrr]
1857
01:14:20,467 --> 01:14:21,834
Ooh.
1858
01:14:21,901 --> 01:14:23,100
[Barks]
1859
01:14:23,167 --> 01:14:24,100
You want a cookie?
1860
01:14:24,167 --> 01:14:25,400
[Barks]
1861
01:14:25,467 --> 01:14:26,400
[Grr]
OK, no cookie.
1862
01:14:26,467 --> 01:14:27,801
OK, OK, OK.
1863
01:14:27,868 --> 01:14:29,234
You're a good doggie.
1864
01:14:29,300 --> 01:14:30,300
[Barks]
1865
01:14:30,367 --> 01:14:31,334
Aah!
1866
01:14:32,968 --> 01:14:34,267
[Barks]
1867
01:14:34,334 --> 01:14:35,767
Aah! Ow! I'm OK.
1868
01:14:35,834 --> 01:14:36,901
[Barks]
1869
01:14:36,968 --> 01:14:38,200
Good doggie.
1870
01:14:38,267 --> 01:14:40,067
[Barks]
1871
01:14:40,133 --> 01:14:41,267
[Barks]
1872
01:14:41,334 --> 01:14:43,400
So long, sucker!
Ha ha ha ha!
1873
01:14:43,467 --> 01:14:44,400
[Grr]
1874
01:14:44,467 --> 01:14:45,767
No, no, doggie!
1875
01:14:45,834 --> 01:14:48,300
[Grr]
1876
01:14:48,367 --> 01:14:49,300
Aah.
1877
01:14:49,367 --> 01:14:51,400
[Grr]
1878
01:14:51,467 --> 01:14:52,767
Let go of the tie!
1879
01:14:52,834 --> 01:14:54,534
[Grr]
Pull me in!
1880
01:14:54,601 --> 01:14:55,534
Good doggie.
1881
01:14:55,601 --> 01:14:57,567
[Grr]
Let go of my--!
1882
01:14:57,634 --> 01:14:59,067
[Grr]
1883
01:14:59,133 --> 01:15:00,100
[Grr]
1884
01:15:00,167 --> 01:15:01,834
Hey, kid, pull me in!
1885
01:15:01,901 --> 01:15:03,534
Pull me in! Aah!
1886
01:15:03,601 --> 01:15:04,534
Speak.
1887
01:15:04,601 --> 01:15:05,701
[Barks]
1888
01:15:05,767 --> 01:15:08,567
Aah!
1889
01:15:09,868 --> 01:15:11,501
[Barks]
1890
01:15:14,501 --> 01:15:16,200
Bad doggie.
1891
01:15:16,267 --> 01:15:17,467
Mr. Sparks, this is not a hotel!
1892
01:15:17,534 --> 01:15:19,234
Come on, Egypt.
1893
01:15:19,300 --> 01:15:21,467
And if it were,
room service would be closed!
1894
01:15:21,534 --> 01:15:23,200
Stay under there.
Good boy.
1895
01:15:27,033 --> 01:15:30,100
Yes, what is it, Mr. Sparks?
1896
01:15:30,167 --> 01:15:32,300
[Imitates ����]
Hey, ����������,
1897
01:15:32,367 --> 01:15:35,334
I thought I needed your help
using the John.
1898
01:15:35,400 --> 01:15:36,968
Lucky for you, it was just gas.
1899
01:15:37,033 --> 01:15:38,100
[Dog passes gas]
1900
01:15:38,167 --> 01:15:40,467
Robby:
Hoo, pardon me.
1901
01:15:40,534 --> 01:15:41,400
Night.
1902
01:15:43,701 --> 01:15:45,734
You know, you've got
a really big house.
1903
01:15:45,801 --> 01:15:47,834
Shh, you want to wake everybody up?
1904
01:15:47,901 --> 01:15:50,767
Well, frankly, my dear,
I don't give a--
1905
01:15:54,767 --> 01:15:56,100
Damn.
1906
01:15:56,167 --> 01:15:58,000
Woof-ooh.
1907
01:15:58,067 --> 01:16:00,067
You know,
I think we're doing pretty good.
1908
01:16:00,133 --> 01:16:02,567
We've known each other 2 days,
1909
01:16:02,634 --> 01:16:04,501
and we're already living together.
1910
01:16:08,534 --> 01:16:09,868
�������?
1911
01:16:09,934 --> 01:16:12,367
Y'all realize what time it is?
1912
01:16:12,434 --> 01:16:14,334
Sorry, daddy.
1913
01:16:14,400 --> 01:16:18,000
We were just saying good night.
1914
01:16:18,067 --> 01:16:19,767
Good night, ����������.
1915
01:16:19,834 --> 01:16:21,501
Night.
1916
01:16:23,067 --> 01:16:25,501
Oh, daddy, so much happened tonight.
1917
01:16:25,567 --> 01:16:26,834
I just saw ����'s--
1918
01:16:26,901 --> 01:16:30,033
�������, I forbid this
relationship to continue.
1919
01:16:30,100 --> 01:16:32,033
Oh, daddy, I'm an adult.
1920
01:16:32,100 --> 01:16:33,834
You don't get to forbid anything.
1921
01:16:33,901 --> 01:16:35,367
�������, don't you understand,
darling?
1922
01:16:35,434 --> 01:16:37,334
That boy doesn't care
anything about you.
1923
01:16:37,400 --> 01:16:39,868
They're using you to get at me.
1924
01:16:39,934 --> 01:16:41,534
Oh, how stupid of me
1925
01:16:41,601 --> 01:16:44,300
to think anyone could
actually be interested in me.
1926
01:16:44,367 --> 01:16:46,033
Oh, darling, I didn't mean--
1927
01:16:46,100 --> 01:16:47,434
Baby doll.
1928
01:16:49,567 --> 01:16:51,234
����:
We got to get the blackmail pictures,
1929
01:16:51,300 --> 01:16:52,701
find out who the chick is.
1930
01:16:52,767 --> 01:16:54,033
Joey, I know people.
1931
01:16:54,100 --> 01:16:57,033
The ���������� doesn't play around.
1932
01:16:57,100 --> 01:16:59,534
You sure you can get
back inside all right?
1933
01:16:59,601 --> 01:17:00,534
Yeah, yeah.
1934
01:17:00,601 --> 01:17:02,567
Robby left a ladder for me.
1935
01:17:02,634 --> 01:17:03,501
Be careful.
1936
01:17:04,968 --> 01:17:07,367
You Southern gentlemen are so charming,
1937
01:17:07,434 --> 01:17:08,901
so chivalrous.
1938
01:17:08,968 --> 01:17:11,901
I do believe you would never deny
1939
01:17:11,968 --> 01:17:13,968
a woman her desires.
1940
01:17:14,033 --> 01:17:14,968
Desires?
1941
01:17:15,033 --> 01:17:16,701
Mmm. But first,
1942
01:17:16,767 --> 01:17:20,167
I just have one special request.
1943
01:17:24,300 --> 01:17:25,334
You idiot.
1944
01:17:25,400 --> 01:17:27,200
What? Ooh.
1945
01:17:27,267 --> 01:17:28,801
Mmm.
1946
01:17:29,934 --> 01:17:30,868
Mmm.
1947
01:17:30,934 --> 01:17:31,868
Mmm.
1948
01:17:31,934 --> 01:17:33,467
Mmm.
1949
01:17:38,901 --> 01:17:40,767
Oh, beautiful.
1950
01:18:13,200 --> 01:18:14,133
Ooh!
1951
01:18:14,200 --> 01:18:16,100
Emily?
1952
01:18:16,167 --> 01:18:17,133
Is that you?
1953
01:18:17,200 --> 01:18:18,400
Who are you?
1954
01:18:21,200 --> 01:18:22,834
Great-great-granddaddy,
1955
01:18:22,901 --> 01:18:23,968
is that you?
1956
01:18:24,033 --> 01:18:26,100
[Old man's voice]
Yes, it's me, �����.
1957
01:18:26,167 --> 01:18:28,100
It's your great-great-granddaddy.
1958
01:18:28,167 --> 01:18:29,400
Ooooh...
1959
01:18:29,467 --> 01:18:30,801
what are you doing here?
1960
01:18:30,868 --> 01:18:32,467
I'm here to help you, �����.
1961
01:18:32,534 --> 01:18:34,968
But first, you must answer
an important question.
1962
01:18:35,033 --> 01:18:36,567
Yes, sir, anything.
1963
01:18:36,634 --> 01:18:38,567
Did you slide your saber
1964
01:18:38,634 --> 01:18:40,567
into that modern-day Jezebel?
1965
01:18:40,634 --> 01:18:42,067
No, sir, I did not.
1966
01:18:42,133 --> 01:18:43,667
How do you know about that stripper?
1967
01:18:43,734 --> 01:18:45,300
Up here, �����,
1968
01:18:45,367 --> 01:18:47,300
bad news travels fast.
1969
01:18:47,367 --> 01:18:49,667
Now, �����, you want to be Senator.
1970
01:18:49,734 --> 01:18:52,534
There's one thing
you must do to be Senator.
1971
01:18:52,601 --> 01:18:55,834
You must appear on
The ���� ������ Show.
1972
01:18:55,901 --> 01:18:58,667
No! He's an obnoxious buffoon.
1973
01:18:58,734 --> 01:19:00,667
Shut up, and you listen
1974
01:19:00,734 --> 01:19:02,434
to your great-great-granddaddy.
1975
01:19:02,501 --> 01:19:04,667
I want you to pray, �����.
1976
01:19:04,734 --> 01:19:06,033
Pray. Pray?
1977
01:19:06,100 --> 01:19:08,234
No peeking.
1978
01:19:08,300 --> 01:19:10,567
Repeat after me.
I pledge allegiance...
1979
01:19:10,634 --> 01:19:11,567
I pledge allegiance...
1980
01:19:11,634 --> 01:19:12,701
to the flag...
1981
01:19:12,767 --> 01:19:14,133
to the flag of
the United States of America.
1982
01:19:14,200 --> 01:19:15,167
[Toilet flushes]
1983
01:19:15,234 --> 01:19:17,000
And to the Republic
for which it stands,
1984
01:19:17,067 --> 01:19:18,701
one nation, under God, indivisible,
1985
01:19:18,767 --> 01:19:20,667
With Liberty and Justice for all.
1986
01:19:20,734 --> 01:19:22,534
I pledge allegiance to the flag
1987
01:19:22,601 --> 01:19:24,300
of the United States of America,
1988
01:19:24,367 --> 01:19:26,033
- ...and to the Republic...
- �����?
1989
01:19:26,100 --> 01:19:27,434
�����, darling?
1990
01:19:27,501 --> 01:19:28,934
�����, you're being patriotic
1991
01:19:29,000 --> 01:19:30,801
in your sleep again.
1992
01:19:30,868 --> 01:19:31,801
I'm sorry.
1993
01:19:31,868 --> 01:19:33,801
Emily, you'll never guess
who was here.
1994
01:19:33,868 --> 01:19:35,133
Great-great-granddaddy.
1995
01:19:35,200 --> 01:19:37,133
Oh, �����, don't talk crazy.
You were dreaming.
1996
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:38,701
I'm not talking crazy.
1997
01:19:38,767 --> 01:19:40,200
Great-great-granddaddy was here.
1998
01:19:40,267 --> 01:19:42,133
If I say he was here,
he was here.
1999
01:19:42,200 --> 01:19:43,934
Please place your napkin in your lap.
2000
01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:45,701
Why? I'm not going
to spill nothing.
2001
01:19:45,767 --> 01:19:46,868
Do what your mother--
2002
01:19:46,934 --> 01:19:48,334
Excuse me, please.
May I have your attention?
2003
01:19:48,400 --> 01:19:51,000
There's something I have to say.
2004
01:19:51,067 --> 01:19:53,234
You will not believe
the latest polls.
2005
01:19:53,300 --> 01:19:55,467
���� ������ is saving our hide.
2006
01:19:55,534 --> 01:19:56,467
Especially since
2007
01:19:56,534 --> 01:19:58,868
you finally decided
to do his show.
2008
01:19:58,934 --> 01:20:00,100
Oh, dear.
2009
01:20:00,167 --> 01:20:01,968
You're going to be
on ����'s show?!
2010
01:20:02,033 --> 01:20:03,033
Awesome!
2011
01:20:03,100 --> 01:20:04,868
Is that what you wanted to tell us,
dear?
2012
01:20:04,934 --> 01:20:05,868
Aah!
2013
01:20:05,934 --> 01:20:07,701
You lying,
2014
01:20:07,767 --> 01:20:09,734
conniving, son of a--
2015
01:20:09,801 --> 01:20:11,234
Sparks, you poltroon!
2016
01:20:11,300 --> 01:20:13,234
You announce it in the paper.
2017
01:20:13,300 --> 01:20:14,734
So if I don't do it,
2018
01:20:14,801 --> 01:20:16,434
it looks like I'm afraid
to face you on the air.
2019
01:20:16,501 --> 01:20:19,234
Well, you may have backed me
into a corner this time,
2020
01:20:19,300 --> 01:20:20,734
but let me tell you something.
2021
01:20:20,801 --> 01:20:23,267
The second this show is over,
2022
01:20:23,334 --> 01:20:26,834
you and your entire
3-ring circus are history!
2023
01:20:26,901 --> 01:20:30,300
Hey, doesn't anybody
ever knock around here?
2024
01:20:30,367 --> 01:20:32,834
[Whinnies]
2025
01:20:32,901 --> 01:20:34,634
�������:
Well, that's it, Randal.
2026
01:20:34,701 --> 01:20:35,667
I feel trapped.
2027
01:20:35,734 --> 01:20:37,167
On the one hand, the boys at the lab
2028
01:20:37,234 --> 01:20:38,601
tell me those pictures are real.
2029
01:20:38,667 --> 01:20:40,501
There's no hint of doctoring
on those photos.
2030
01:20:40,567 --> 01:20:43,534
So if I challenge these people,
whoever they are,
2031
01:20:43,601 --> 01:20:45,334
My family might be more humiliated
2032
01:20:45,400 --> 01:20:47,000
than they already have been.
2033
01:20:47,067 --> 01:20:48,834
On the other hand, if I back out,
2034
01:20:48,901 --> 01:20:52,033
those people are just
going to walk all over me.
2035
01:20:52,100 --> 01:20:53,334
And worse,
2036
01:20:53,400 --> 01:20:55,701
backing out might look like
an admission of guilt.
2037
01:20:55,767 --> 01:20:56,701
Damn!
2038
01:20:56,767 --> 01:20:58,701
�����, the election is next Tuesday.
2039
01:20:58,767 --> 01:21:00,868
Now, by the time you can
prove your innocence,
2040
01:21:00,934 --> 01:21:02,234
you'll already have lost it.
2041
01:21:02,300 --> 01:21:04,234
And if you can't
prove your innocence,
2042
01:21:04,300 --> 01:21:07,167
you might even lose
your ����������'s position.
2043
01:21:08,434 --> 01:21:09,868
Back out.
2044
01:21:09,934 --> 01:21:11,601
Don't you think I'll seem weak
2045
01:21:11,667 --> 01:21:13,434
if I don't fight all this?
2046
01:21:13,501 --> 01:21:14,601
Not at all.
2047
01:21:14,667 --> 01:21:16,868
I'd do the same thing
if I were in your position.
2048
01:21:16,934 --> 01:21:18,701
You have to do what's best
2049
01:21:18,767 --> 01:21:20,367
for Emily and the children.
2050
01:21:20,434 --> 01:21:22,868
You just gave me the same
answer that I arrived at.
2051
01:21:22,934 --> 01:21:25,300
I didn't want to hear it
from either of us.
2052
01:21:25,367 --> 01:21:27,300
Thank you, Randal.
2053
01:21:27,367 --> 01:21:29,400
When will you do it?
2054
01:21:29,467 --> 01:21:31,000
Well...
2055
01:21:31,067 --> 01:21:32,701
Ha ha ha!
2056
01:21:32,767 --> 01:21:35,167
I thought I'd do it tonight...
2057
01:21:37,467 --> 01:21:39,534
on the Sparks Show.
2058
01:21:39,601 --> 01:21:43,534
����: Why don't the ����������
just tell the truth?
2059
01:21:43,601 --> 01:21:45,267
If he's innocent,
the people will believe him.
2060
01:21:45,334 --> 01:21:47,033
Because he doesn't want this photo
2061
01:21:47,100 --> 01:21:48,901
plastered all over every
newspaper in the country,
2062
01:21:48,968 --> 01:21:49,901
that's why.
2063
01:21:49,968 --> 01:21:51,033
Let us help you.
2064
01:21:51,100 --> 01:21:52,234
We'll find out who the chick is,
2065
01:21:52,300 --> 01:21:53,434
and we'll put her on the show.
2066
01:21:53,501 --> 01:21:56,167
No. The ���������� wants
this affair to go away
2067
01:21:56,234 --> 01:21:57,634
as quietly as possible.
2068
01:21:57,701 --> 01:21:59,200
Oh, so someone else can set him up
2069
01:21:59,267 --> 01:22:00,601
and blackmail him all over again.
2070
01:22:00,667 --> 01:22:03,634
Please, just let the ����������
make his statement.
2071
01:22:03,701 --> 01:22:05,934
Say anything about the stripper,
2072
01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:07,901
and he walks.
2073
01:22:09,300 --> 01:22:11,400
Oh, �����,
2074
01:22:11,467 --> 01:22:14,434
now, you don't really mean that,
do you?
2075
01:22:14,501 --> 01:22:16,467
Yes, I do.
2076
01:22:17,667 --> 01:22:19,601
You got it?
2077
01:22:19,667 --> 01:22:20,868
Got it.
2078
01:22:24,000 --> 01:22:25,934
She looks familiar.
2079
01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:27,934
They all look familiar to you, hon.
2080
01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:29,934
[Knock on door]
2081
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:31,634
����:
Oh, Miller.
2082
01:22:31,701 --> 01:22:34,234
Well, what a pleasant surprise.
2083
01:22:34,300 --> 01:22:36,968
I came to offer my congratulations.
2084
01:22:37,033 --> 01:22:38,467
You won, Sparks.
2085
01:22:38,534 --> 01:22:41,467
I didn't think you could do it.
2086
01:22:41,534 --> 01:22:44,467
And Mr. Spencer wanted me
to come personally
2087
01:22:44,534 --> 01:22:46,968
and hand you your new contracts.
2088
01:22:47,033 --> 01:22:49,868
I'm afraid you're going
to have to pick them up,
2089
01:22:49,934 --> 01:22:50,868
You know.
2090
01:22:50,934 --> 01:22:52,367
Oh, right, I forgot.
2091
01:22:52,434 --> 01:22:53,734
You can't walk.
2092
01:22:53,801 --> 01:22:54,868
Right.
2093
01:22:54,934 --> 01:22:57,467
So how long do the doctors
think it'll take?
2094
01:22:57,534 --> 01:23:00,200
Oh, a few weeks, a few months.
2095
01:23:00,267 --> 01:23:01,200
A year.
2096
01:23:01,267 --> 01:23:02,701
A few years.
2097
01:23:02,767 --> 01:23:04,300
Wow, look at that chick.
What an ass.
2098
01:23:04,367 --> 01:23:05,968
Ooh, where, where?
2099
01:23:06,033 --> 01:23:07,501
Aha, I got you!
2100
01:23:07,567 --> 01:23:09,033
I knew you were faking it.
2101
01:23:09,100 --> 01:23:11,734
I caught you.
I caught you!
2102
01:23:11,801 --> 01:23:12,934
Ohh-hoo, yeah!
2103
01:23:13,000 --> 01:23:15,234
Hallelujah!
Praise the Lord!
2104
01:23:15,300 --> 01:23:16,601
You can walk again!
2105
01:23:16,667 --> 01:23:18,000
Hey, I can walk!
It's a miracle!
2106
01:23:18,067 --> 01:23:19,634
No, no, no, no!
This is no miracle.
2107
01:23:19,701 --> 01:23:20,934
You are a fake,
2108
01:23:21,000 --> 01:23:22,501
a phony.
You are a charlatan!
2109
01:23:22,567 --> 01:23:24,501
All right, Miller, what do you want?
2110
01:23:24,567 --> 01:23:25,834
What do I want?
2111
01:23:25,901 --> 01:23:28,000
I want your head on a stick.
2112
01:23:28,067 --> 01:23:30,167
I want your neck in a noose.
2113
01:23:30,234 --> 01:23:32,334
Hey, you're trying to
make up with me, huh?
2114
01:23:32,400 --> 01:23:34,501
I want to see that you never work
2115
01:23:34,567 --> 01:23:36,434
in broadcasting ever again!
2116
01:23:37,901 --> 01:23:39,000
Ah, miss �������.
2117
01:23:39,067 --> 01:23:40,000
You've been had.
2118
01:23:40,067 --> 01:23:41,667
They've been deceiving your family
2119
01:23:41,734 --> 01:23:43,234
the whole time.
2120
01:23:43,300 --> 01:23:44,934
He was never hurt.
2121
01:23:45,000 --> 01:23:46,934
Is it true?
Did you know he was faking it?
2122
01:23:47,000 --> 01:23:48,200
Look, �������, I'm sorry.
2123
01:23:48,267 --> 01:23:50,033
Oh, daddy was right.
2124
01:23:50,100 --> 01:23:51,634
Thanks a lot, dad.
2125
01:23:51,701 --> 01:23:52,834
����.
2126
01:23:52,901 --> 01:23:54,400
Ah.
2127
01:23:54,467 --> 01:23:57,033
I guess now is the perfect time
2128
01:23:57,100 --> 01:23:59,434
for me to call Mr. Spencer
2129
01:23:59,501 --> 01:24:02,434
and put an end to your sleazy career,
huh?
2130
01:24:02,501 --> 01:24:04,133
You ain't going anywhere,
pretty boy.
2131
01:24:04,200 --> 01:24:05,834
You ain't even pretty anymore.
2132
01:24:05,901 --> 01:24:06,834
Robby:
Remember me?
2133
01:24:06,901 --> 01:24:08,033
Hey, that's my wallet!
2134
01:24:08,100 --> 01:24:09,200
����:
Grab him.
2135
01:24:09,267 --> 01:24:14,834
* Why do we stand on the roses? *
2136
01:24:14,901 --> 01:24:18,067
Yoo-hoo, Mr. Sparks?
2137
01:24:18,133 --> 01:24:20,067
Yo, what do you want?
2138
01:24:20,133 --> 01:24:22,067
Oh, there's a phone call
2139
01:24:22,133 --> 01:24:23,567
for Mr. Sparks on line 2.
2140
01:24:23,634 --> 01:24:24,567
Miller:
Somebody help me!
2141
01:24:24,634 --> 01:24:26,100
Is everything all right in there?
2142
01:24:26,167 --> 01:24:28,534
Yeah. ���� is just having
his physical therapy.
2143
01:24:28,601 --> 01:24:31,200
Oh. Is there anything
I can do to help?
2144
01:24:31,267 --> 01:24:32,200
Um...
2145
01:24:32,267 --> 01:24:34,067
Robby, look who's here.
2146
01:24:34,133 --> 01:24:35,067
Mom!
2147
01:24:35,133 --> 01:24:36,400
Miller:
Help!
2148
01:24:36,467 --> 01:24:37,634
���� wants you to roast him a turkey.
2149
01:24:37,701 --> 01:24:38,901
A whole turkey?
2150
01:24:38,968 --> 01:24:41,067
No, you're not going to
get way with it this time.
2151
01:24:41,133 --> 01:24:42,534
I'm warning you, Sparks.
I'm warn--
2152
01:24:42,601 --> 01:24:45,434
That's the only way to shut him up.
2153
01:24:45,501 --> 01:24:46,434
I know her.
2154
01:24:46,501 --> 01:24:47,901
She's so familiar to me.
2155
01:24:47,968 --> 01:24:49,400
I just can't place her.
2156
01:24:49,467 --> 01:24:50,834
I knew it.
I knew I knew her.
2157
01:24:50,901 --> 01:24:52,100
Now I know where I know her from.
2158
01:24:52,167 --> 01:24:53,100
Where do you know her from?
2159
01:24:53,167 --> 01:24:54,100
����?
2160
01:24:54,167 --> 01:24:55,100
I'm busy now.
2161
01:24:55,167 --> 01:24:56,601
Where do you know her from?
2162
01:24:56,667 --> 01:24:57,767
It's her!
2163
01:24:57,834 --> 01:25:00,701
She wants to meet with ���� alone.
2164
01:25:17,667 --> 01:25:19,367
����:
Oh, it's you.
2165
01:25:19,434 --> 01:25:21,634
I thought you don't
believe in casual sex.
2166
01:25:21,701 --> 01:25:24,667
I never had sex with the ����������.
2167
01:25:24,734 --> 01:25:26,100
He was set up.
2168
01:25:26,167 --> 01:25:27,634
They slipped him a Mickey,
2169
01:25:27,701 --> 01:25:29,834
and while he was unconscious,
2170
01:25:29,901 --> 01:25:31,834
I took off my clothes,
2171
01:25:31,901 --> 01:25:34,801
and I posed for
those pictures with him.
2172
01:25:34,868 --> 01:25:37,567
Then why are you saying it now?
2173
01:25:37,634 --> 01:25:40,634
Because I can't live with the guilt.
2174
01:25:40,701 --> 01:25:41,634
I told you
2175
01:25:41,701 --> 01:25:43,767
I'm an actress, Mr. Sparks.
2176
01:25:43,834 --> 01:25:45,767
But I don't want to become famous
2177
01:25:45,834 --> 01:25:48,133
for ruining the lives
of an innocent man
2178
01:25:48,200 --> 01:25:49,467
and his family.
2179
01:25:49,534 --> 01:25:51,300
I want to do wholesome projects,
2180
01:25:51,367 --> 01:25:52,734
like Disney movies.
2181
01:25:52,801 --> 01:25:54,734
Well, how come you want to see me?
2182
01:25:54,801 --> 01:25:58,167
Because I want to go on
your show tonight,
2183
01:25:58,234 --> 01:26:00,434
and I want to tell the truth.
2184
01:26:00,501 --> 01:26:02,067
I want to do the right thing,
2185
01:26:02,133 --> 01:26:03,767
And I want to clear the ����������'s name
2186
01:26:03,834 --> 01:26:05,334
in front of the whole country.
2187
01:26:05,400 --> 01:26:06,634
[����'s theme music plays]
2188
01:26:06,701 --> 01:26:08,968
3, 2, 1.
2189
01:26:09,033 --> 01:26:09,968
Hiya, folks.
2190
01:26:10,033 --> 01:26:11,767
Tonight you're going to see
2191
01:26:11,834 --> 01:26:13,667
a different kind of
���� ������ Show.
2192
01:26:13,734 --> 01:26:15,667
A much more serious approach.
2193
01:26:15,734 --> 01:26:17,667
And I want to start off
2194
01:26:17,734 --> 01:26:19,167
with my very special guest,
2195
01:26:19,234 --> 01:26:20,434
���������� ����� �������.
2196
01:26:20,501 --> 01:26:23,834
[Dixie plays]
2197
01:26:23,901 --> 01:26:25,934
Ah, ����������, it's great
to finally have you
2198
01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:27,167
on my show, you know?
2199
01:26:27,234 --> 01:26:29,968
At least you didn't have
to travel too far to get here.
2200
01:26:30,033 --> 01:26:31,000
That's true.
2201
01:26:31,067 --> 01:26:32,701
Although the traffic
was a little rough
2202
01:26:32,767 --> 01:26:34,634
coming through the kitchen.
2203
01:26:34,701 --> 01:26:36,601
[Whispers]
�������, listen, we need to talk.
2204
01:26:36,667 --> 01:26:38,100
OK, you don't understand.
2205
01:26:38,167 --> 01:26:39,601
You lied to me.
2206
01:26:39,667 --> 01:26:41,834
I should tell my father
and stop this show.
2207
01:26:41,901 --> 01:26:43,200
Uh, Mr. Sparks,
2208
01:26:43,267 --> 01:26:45,701
I'd like to say a few words.
2209
01:26:45,767 --> 01:26:47,667
Miller:
Stop the show!
2210
01:26:47,734 --> 01:26:50,234
He's a fake! He's a phony!
2211
01:26:50,300 --> 01:26:51,968
He's a charlatan!
2212
01:26:52,033 --> 01:26:53,234
Get your hands off me!
2213
01:26:53,300 --> 01:26:54,300
You don't understand!
2214
01:26:54,367 --> 01:26:55,534
Listen to me!
2215
01:26:55,601 --> 01:26:57,868
I'm a very important person!
2216
01:26:57,934 --> 01:26:59,467
[Whispering]
Stretch. Stretch it out.
2217
01:26:59,534 --> 01:27:01,868
Uh, one of the ����������'s
opponents.
2218
01:27:01,934 --> 01:27:03,901
They'll stoop to anything
to try and stop him.
2219
01:27:03,968 --> 01:27:05,901
Like calling him a phony, a fake.
2220
01:27:05,968 --> 01:27:07,868
They even claim he dyes his hair.
2221
01:27:07,934 --> 01:27:10,501
Lies! I've taken a shower
with the ����������,
2222
01:27:10,567 --> 01:27:12,434
and believe me, that's
his natural hair color.
2223
01:27:12,501 --> 01:27:14,234
And by the way, ����������,
2224
01:27:14,300 --> 01:27:17,734
you're quite a guy,
if you know what I mean.
2225
01:27:17,801 --> 01:27:19,901
Why, he could enter
a 3-legged race by himself.
2226
01:27:19,968 --> 01:27:23,334
Why do you think his wife
is always smiling?
2227
01:27:24,501 --> 01:27:25,767
����:
So, folks,
2228
01:27:25,834 --> 01:27:27,567
vote for ���������� ����� �������.
2229
01:27:27,634 --> 01:27:28,834
Think big.
2230
01:27:28,901 --> 01:27:29,834
Mr. Sparks.
2231
01:27:29,901 --> 01:27:31,734
There's something very important--
2232
01:27:31,801 --> 01:27:33,601
Hold that thought for one moment,
OK?
2233
01:27:33,667 --> 01:27:35,567
'Cause right now
I'd like to bring on
2234
01:27:35,634 --> 01:27:36,901
a special mystery guest
2235
01:27:36,968 --> 01:27:40,133
who's about to become
the most important person
2236
01:27:40,200 --> 01:27:41,200
in your life.
2237
01:27:41,267 --> 01:27:42,367
Ladies and gentlemen,
2238
01:27:42,434 --> 01:27:45,100
���������� ������� was
just about to announce
2239
01:27:45,167 --> 01:27:47,300
he's going to back out
of the election...
2240
01:27:47,367 --> 01:27:48,467
Oh, no.
2241
01:27:48,534 --> 01:27:49,968
Because he's mixed up
2242
01:27:50,033 --> 01:27:52,601
in a disgusting sex scandal.
2243
01:27:52,667 --> 01:27:53,734
Oh.
2244
01:27:53,801 --> 01:27:54,734
[Gasps]
2245
01:27:54,801 --> 01:27:55,767
And here she is
2246
01:27:55,834 --> 01:27:57,567
to tell her side of the story.
2247
01:27:57,634 --> 01:28:01,434
The woman in question--
Lola Larue!
2248
01:28:01,501 --> 01:28:05,167
[Jazzy music plays]
2249
01:28:08,934 --> 01:28:09,901
All right, Lola.
2250
01:28:09,968 --> 01:28:12,300
Now you go ahead and tell our viewers
2251
01:28:12,367 --> 01:28:13,901
the same incredible story
you told me.
2252
01:28:13,968 --> 01:28:17,400
Well, I first met ���������� �������
2253
01:28:17,467 --> 01:28:19,901
in Savannah at a campaign rally.
2254
01:28:19,968 --> 01:28:21,501
And that night,
2255
01:28:21,567 --> 01:28:24,234
he got me drunk and
sexually molested me
2256
01:28:24,300 --> 01:28:25,834
at the fuzzy peach motel.
2257
01:28:25,901 --> 01:28:27,834
����������, what did I tell you,
huh?
2258
01:28:27,901 --> 01:28:29,167
Hey, wait a minute.
2259
01:28:29,234 --> 01:28:30,501
That's a lie!
2260
01:28:30,567 --> 01:28:32,934
Emily, I've never seen
this woman before
2261
01:28:33,000 --> 01:28:34,133
in my life.
2262
01:28:34,200 --> 01:28:35,267
She's blackmailing me!
2263
01:28:35,334 --> 01:28:36,667
����������:
Baby doll, wait!
2264
01:28:36,734 --> 01:28:38,300
If you had sex with the ����������,
2265
01:28:38,367 --> 01:28:39,801
you saw him naked, right?
2266
01:28:39,868 --> 01:28:40,801
Totally.
2267
01:28:40,868 --> 01:28:42,467
Completely.
2268
01:28:42,534 --> 01:28:43,968
Buck.
2269
01:28:44,033 --> 01:28:45,601
����:
Well, tell me this--
2270
01:28:45,667 --> 01:28:47,567
Does the ���������� have
any distinguishing marks
2271
01:28:47,634 --> 01:28:49,367
on his body?
2272
01:28:49,434 --> 01:28:50,534
A birthmark
2273
01:28:50,601 --> 01:28:52,133
shaped like
the State of Florida
2274
01:28:52,200 --> 01:28:53,934
on his left butt cheek.
2275
01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:56,434
Ho ho, really?
Ha ha ha ha.
2276
01:28:59,734 --> 01:29:02,167
OK, lucky guess.
2277
01:29:02,234 --> 01:29:04,334
Show 'em.
2278
01:29:04,400 --> 01:29:05,834
Go on, ����������.
2279
01:29:05,901 --> 01:29:07,367
Show 'em.
2280
01:29:07,434 --> 01:29:08,501
[Muttering]
2281
01:29:08,567 --> 01:29:09,834
[Whispering] Cut.
We're going to commercial.
2282
01:29:09,901 --> 01:29:11,334
You're an idiot!
2283
01:29:11,400 --> 01:29:12,334
Stay tuned, folks...
2284
01:29:12,400 --> 01:29:13,968
You're stupid!
2285
01:29:14,033 --> 01:29:15,968
That does it!
2286
01:29:16,067 --> 01:29:17,634
Director:
And we're clear.
2287
01:29:17,701 --> 01:29:19,367
Crowd, settle, settle, settle.
2288
01:29:19,434 --> 01:29:20,367
Come on.
2289
01:29:20,434 --> 01:29:21,367
Floor manager:
Makeup!
2290
01:29:21,434 --> 01:29:22,601
Director:
All right, guys,
2291
01:29:22,667 --> 01:29:24,567
we need the makeup man
to get rid of the shine.
2292
01:29:24,634 --> 01:29:26,968
����������:
I can overlook taking over the bedroom
2293
01:29:27,033 --> 01:29:29,067
and this camera crew and the dog food!
2294
01:29:29,133 --> 01:29:31,067
But how could you do this to me?!
2295
01:29:31,133 --> 01:29:32,934
I was just trying to help you.
2296
01:29:33,000 --> 01:29:34,868
Help me? You're burying me out there!
2297
01:29:34,934 --> 01:29:36,200
Aw, come back on.
2298
01:29:36,267 --> 01:29:37,868
I promise I'll fix everything.
2299
01:29:37,934 --> 01:29:39,934
Excuse me, 90 seconds,
and we're back on the air.
2300
01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:41,801
No. No way I'm going
back out there.
2301
01:29:41,868 --> 01:29:43,534
You got to come back on.
2302
01:29:43,601 --> 01:29:45,868
If you don't, you'll look
worse than you look now.
2303
01:29:45,934 --> 01:29:47,367
�����, help me, help me.
2304
01:29:47,434 --> 01:29:48,634
What shall I do?
2305
01:29:48,701 --> 01:29:50,801
Well, I think you should--
2306
01:29:50,868 --> 01:29:52,701
I don't know.
2307
01:29:52,767 --> 01:29:54,400
[Crying]
2308
01:29:54,467 --> 01:29:55,767
We'll miss--
2309
01:29:55,834 --> 01:29:57,767
�����, are you all right?
2310
01:29:58,901 --> 01:30:00,400
I'm ruined.
2311
01:30:00,467 --> 01:30:02,367
Emily thinks I betrayed her.
2312
01:30:02,434 --> 01:30:03,934
It's all Sparks' fault.
2313
01:30:04,000 --> 01:30:05,400
����������, you got to listen to me.
2314
01:30:05,467 --> 01:30:06,534
Trust me, will you?
2315
01:30:06,601 --> 01:30:07,534
Trust you?
2316
01:30:07,601 --> 01:30:08,901
Trust you?! I--
2317
01:30:08,968 --> 01:30:11,400
Now, now, don't worry, �����.
2318
01:30:11,467 --> 01:30:14,334
I'll see that he hangs for this.
2319
01:30:14,400 --> 01:30:17,400
OK, 60 seconds.
It's now or never.
2320
01:30:17,467 --> 01:30:18,901
All right, ����������,
2321
01:30:18,968 --> 01:30:21,367
what's it going to be?
2322
01:30:21,434 --> 01:30:23,701
Leave me alone.
2323
01:30:40,334 --> 01:30:41,701
I'm done.
2324
01:30:41,767 --> 01:30:43,367
Let's go. Come on.
2325
01:30:58,868 --> 01:31:00,200
Dad?
2326
01:31:16,033 --> 01:31:19,567
Daddy... this is all my fault.
2327
01:31:21,033 --> 01:31:24,300
Son, you didn't do anything.
2328
01:31:24,367 --> 01:31:25,734
Yes, I did.
2329
01:31:28,534 --> 01:31:30,934
I sent the invitation to ����.
2330
01:31:34,901 --> 01:31:36,667
I did it...
2331
01:31:36,734 --> 01:31:40,834
because I wanted
to get even with you.
2332
01:31:40,901 --> 01:31:43,501
I wanted you to stop
being the ����������
2333
01:31:43,567 --> 01:31:47,434
and just go back to being
my dad like you used to.
2334
01:31:53,400 --> 01:31:54,267
Robert...
2335
01:31:56,234 --> 01:31:58,501
I'm not gonna call you Robby anymore,
2336
01:31:58,567 --> 01:32:01,100
'cause that's a little boy's name.
2337
01:32:01,167 --> 01:32:03,200
You're a young man now.
2338
01:32:03,267 --> 01:32:05,067
It took a lot of courage
2339
01:32:05,133 --> 01:32:07,534
to just say what you did.
2340
01:32:07,601 --> 01:32:09,968
I'll tell you something.
2341
01:32:11,934 --> 01:32:14,801
Being your daddy's
the best job I ever had.
2342
01:32:14,868 --> 01:32:17,634
And thank you for reminding me...
2343
01:32:17,701 --> 01:32:21,300
it's also the most important one.
2344
01:32:25,934 --> 01:32:26,968
Daddy...
2345
01:32:32,801 --> 01:32:35,267
Folks, the first half of the show
2346
01:32:35,334 --> 01:32:36,567
has been pretty amazing,
2347
01:32:36,634 --> 01:32:39,901
and the second half is no different.
2348
01:32:39,968 --> 01:32:42,000
And I'm gonna start the second half...
2349
01:32:43,300 --> 01:32:44,501
by telling you...
2350
01:32:47,634 --> 01:32:49,567
I can walk.
2351
01:32:49,634 --> 01:32:52,067
I've been faking it...
2352
01:32:52,133 --> 01:32:54,234
pretending I was hurt...
2353
01:32:54,300 --> 01:32:57,167
for my own selfish reasons.
2354
01:32:58,767 --> 01:33:01,567
You know, this may be my last show.
2355
01:33:01,634 --> 01:33:04,734
A lot of people think
I shouldn't be on TV anymore.
2356
01:33:04,801 --> 01:33:06,234
Maybe they're right.
2357
01:33:06,300 --> 01:33:08,534
I'm only sorry for all
the pain and suffering
2358
01:33:08,601 --> 01:33:10,100
I caused the ����������,
2359
01:33:10,167 --> 01:33:13,267
and how I hurt this sweet,
innocent girl.
2360
01:33:13,334 --> 01:33:15,434
Look at that virgin smile.
2361
01:33:15,501 --> 01:33:17,434
A babe lost in the woods.
2362
01:33:17,501 --> 01:33:20,100
And you wanted to be an actress,
didn't you?
2363
01:33:20,167 --> 01:33:21,667
That's right.
Disney movies.
2364
01:33:21,734 --> 01:33:23,901
Oh, I'm sure you'd
be right at home
2365
01:33:23,968 --> 01:33:24,934
with Pinocchio.
2366
01:33:25,000 --> 01:33:25,934
[Slide whistle]
2367
01:33:26,000 --> 01:33:27,601
Well, tonight, you're in luck,
honey.
2368
01:33:27,667 --> 01:33:30,100
It so happens we have
a clip of your acting debut.
2369
01:33:30,167 --> 01:33:31,167
Roll it, Sandy.
2370
01:33:31,234 --> 01:33:32,167
Go.
2371
01:33:32,234 --> 01:33:34,100
G-aah! Ohh...
2372
01:33:34,167 --> 01:33:37,767
Ho! Where'd you study acting,
honey, down under?
2373
01:33:37,834 --> 01:33:40,434
She gives a new meaning
to method acting.
2374
01:33:44,133 --> 01:33:45,400
Hey, with this role,
2375
01:33:45,467 --> 01:33:47,801
your acting career
really got a head start.
2376
01:33:47,868 --> 01:33:49,467
But wait, folks, there's more.
2377
01:33:49,534 --> 01:33:52,133
TV:
I never had sex with the ����������.
2378
01:33:52,200 --> 01:33:53,801
He was set up.
2379
01:33:53,868 --> 01:33:55,968
They slipped him a Mickey,
2380
01:33:56,033 --> 01:33:57,968
and while he was unconscious,
2381
01:33:58,033 --> 01:33:59,634
I took off my clothes,
2382
01:33:59,701 --> 01:34:02,734
and I posed for those
pictures with him.
2383
01:34:02,801 --> 01:34:04,968
Well, thanks to my producer Sandy,
2384
01:34:05,033 --> 01:34:06,601
and a hidden video camera,
2385
01:34:06,667 --> 01:34:09,801
we happened to get this
little performance on tape.
2386
01:34:09,868 --> 01:34:12,200
But wait...
there's even more.
2387
01:34:14,667 --> 01:34:17,167
You see, Julius,
what Lola doesn't know is,
2388
01:34:17,234 --> 01:34:19,167
we followed her into the woods,
2389
01:34:19,234 --> 01:34:21,000
where she had a rendezvous
2390
01:34:21,067 --> 01:34:24,200
with the big bad wolf himself!
2391
01:34:24,267 --> 01:34:26,334
[Swelling music]
2392
01:34:30,200 --> 01:34:34,133
����:
I guess whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.
2393
01:34:34,200 --> 01:34:36,167
Judge Williams!
2394
01:34:36,234 --> 01:34:37,534
Randal!
2395
01:34:37,601 --> 01:34:40,501
Wow! Looks like the judge
is banging more than his gavel.
2396
01:34:40,567 --> 01:34:42,334
This is absurd!
I don't know this tramp!
2397
01:34:42,400 --> 01:34:44,634
Tramp?
Screw you, Randy!
2398
01:34:44,701 --> 01:34:46,701
I ain't takin' the rap
for this on my own!
2399
01:34:46,767 --> 01:34:48,667
He knew if ���������� �������
got into the senate,
2400
01:34:48,734 --> 01:34:51,033
he'd prevent the development
of the Civil War Theme park.
2401
01:34:51,100 --> 01:34:52,634
She's insane!
Don't listen to her!
2402
01:34:52,701 --> 01:34:55,367
Judge here sunk all of his money
into the surrounding property.
2403
01:34:55,434 --> 01:34:57,033
Said it was worth a fortune.
2404
01:34:57,100 --> 01:34:59,367
You said you were
gonna share it with me!
2405
01:34:59,434 --> 01:35:00,501
Oh, go away, Lola!
2406
01:35:00,567 --> 01:35:02,834
Ooh!
Looks like she misjudged the judge!
2407
01:35:02,901 --> 01:35:05,234
I'm gonna fix you, Sparks!
2408
01:35:05,300 --> 01:35:06,901
Charge!
2409
01:35:06,968 --> 01:35:08,033
Hey, get your own!
2410
01:35:08,100 --> 01:35:09,667
Just a slice.
2411
01:35:09,734 --> 01:35:11,200
����:
Everybody, head for the hills!
2412
01:35:11,267 --> 01:35:12,534
Oh! Get the camera!
2413
01:35:13,934 --> 01:35:15,767
What's wrong?
2414
01:35:15,834 --> 01:35:17,334
Hey, get out of the way!
2415
01:35:17,400 --> 01:35:19,501
Williams:
Prepare to die.
2416
01:35:19,567 --> 01:35:20,901
Keep moving, ����!
2417
01:35:20,968 --> 01:35:22,701
Tighter.
Get a 2-shot!
2418
01:35:22,767 --> 01:35:24,267
Aah! Ooh! Ooh!
2419
01:35:24,334 --> 01:35:26,901
Dad! Whoa!
2420
01:35:26,968 --> 01:35:28,400
En garde!
2421
01:35:28,467 --> 01:35:30,601
Whoo!
2422
01:35:30,667 --> 01:35:32,234
Aah!
2423
01:35:34,501 --> 01:35:36,400
Oh, come on!
Pan out!
2424
01:35:36,467 --> 01:35:38,300
Judge, can't we talk it over?
2425
01:35:38,367 --> 01:35:40,567
Whoa! I see your point.
2426
01:35:40,634 --> 01:35:42,467
Get the wheelchair!
Put the camera in it! Go on.
2427
01:35:47,934 --> 01:35:49,667
Fresh-cut flowers!
Ooh!
2428
01:35:56,167 --> 01:35:57,033
Ohhh!
2429
01:36:01,133 --> 01:36:02,434
Busybody!
2430
01:36:02,501 --> 01:36:04,067
Know-it-all yankee!
2431
01:36:04,133 --> 01:36:05,601
Take it easy, judge!
2432
01:36:05,667 --> 01:36:07,467
Look out!
He's nuts!
2433
01:36:14,033 --> 01:36:16,601
�������:
Randal, that is a priceless antique!
2434
01:36:16,667 --> 01:36:17,801
Oh, my gracious!
2435
01:36:17,868 --> 01:36:18,801
Aah!
Aah!
2436
01:36:20,734 --> 01:36:22,734
Ow!
Ooh!
2437
01:36:22,801 --> 01:36:23,868
Oh!
Aah!
2438
01:36:26,534 --> 01:36:28,133
Aha!
2439
01:36:30,200 --> 01:36:31,501
Are you all right, son?
2440
01:36:31,567 --> 01:36:32,968
Sandy:
Alec, get the camera upstairs!
2441
01:36:38,534 --> 01:36:39,868
Haa! Haa!
2442
01:36:39,934 --> 01:36:43,133
I had tuna fish for lunch!
2443
01:36:43,200 --> 01:36:44,701
Watch out!
2444
01:36:44,767 --> 01:36:46,834
She's got a gun!
2445
01:36:46,901 --> 01:36:49,968
Stay back!
I'm warning you!
2446
01:36:50,033 --> 01:36:51,534
Robert, call 911.
2447
01:36:51,601 --> 01:36:54,267
You! Come here!
2448
01:36:54,334 --> 01:36:55,601
Oh, dear, you don't--
2449
01:36:55,667 --> 01:36:56,968
Nobody try to stop me!
2450
01:37:01,834 --> 01:37:04,667
Hey, somebody, get me a lei!
2451
01:37:04,734 --> 01:37:06,334
I know I'm a kid.
I'm not joking!
2452
01:37:06,400 --> 01:37:07,334
I'm taking her with me.
2453
01:37:07,400 --> 01:37:09,200
Don't even think about it.
2454
01:37:12,200 --> 01:37:13,167
Ho! Quick, get in there!
2455
01:37:13,234 --> 01:37:14,167
Get a closeup!
2456
01:37:14,234 --> 01:37:15,868
It's my gun!
2457
01:37:19,133 --> 01:37:21,200
Ooh! He got me right in the touch�!
2458
01:37:22,400 --> 01:37:23,567
Aah!
2459
01:37:23,634 --> 01:37:24,868
Look!
2460
01:37:24,934 --> 01:37:26,567
Take that!
2461
01:37:26,634 --> 01:37:27,834
I got it!
2462
01:37:34,467 --> 01:37:35,601
Ha ha!
2463
01:37:36,968 --> 01:37:39,167
Ho ho!
2464
01:37:39,234 --> 01:37:43,767
[Gunshots]
2465
01:37:43,834 --> 01:37:45,567
Hit the deck!
2466
01:37:45,634 --> 01:37:47,067
Joey!
2467
01:37:49,434 --> 01:37:51,000
Ohh!
2468
01:37:51,067 --> 01:37:52,033
Get off me!
2469
01:37:52,100 --> 01:37:53,868
Whoa-- Ohh!
2470
01:37:53,934 --> 01:37:55,067
Hiyaah!
2471
01:37:55,133 --> 01:37:58,067
I just got circumcised by benihana!
Ooh!
2472
01:38:02,133 --> 01:38:04,868
Don't think I won't use this.
2473
01:38:04,934 --> 01:38:06,701
Get back, or I'll blow
your brains out.
2474
01:38:06,767 --> 01:38:08,234
Don't be a hero, ����������!
2475
01:38:09,767 --> 01:38:12,300
����:
Hey! No fair!
2476
01:38:12,367 --> 01:38:13,300
Oh, no!
2477
01:38:13,367 --> 01:38:14,567
Heh heh heh...
2478
01:38:14,634 --> 01:38:15,567
Ha!
2479
01:38:15,634 --> 01:38:16,834
Adios, judge.
2480
01:38:18,000 --> 01:38:21,934
Aaaah! Get me a ball-buster!
2481
01:38:24,834 --> 01:38:28,567
Hey, now, don't say we never
played catch, all right?
2482
01:38:28,634 --> 01:38:30,968
Hey! Excuse me!
I've got the gun.
2483
01:38:31,033 --> 01:38:33,467
I need some wheels.
2484
01:38:33,534 --> 01:38:35,567
����������, give me your car keys,
now!
2485
01:38:35,634 --> 01:38:37,400
Chaaaarge!
2486
01:38:37,467 --> 01:38:40,300
Aaaaah!
2487
01:38:40,367 --> 01:38:42,400
Here comes the judge!
2488
01:38:42,467 --> 01:38:44,133
He got the chair!
2489
01:38:44,200 --> 01:38:46,400
Huh? Huh?
2490
01:38:46,467 --> 01:38:47,501
Aaaaaah!
2491
01:38:47,567 --> 01:38:49,534
Aaaaah!
2492
01:38:50,667 --> 01:38:51,868
Case closed.
2493
01:38:53,334 --> 01:38:54,267
That's our show, folks.
2494
01:38:54,334 --> 01:38:56,100
See you next week back in New York.
2495
01:38:56,167 --> 01:38:58,100
And remember, it's lonely at the top
2496
01:38:58,167 --> 01:39:00,100
when there's no one on the bottom.
2497
01:39:00,167 --> 01:39:01,434
See you next week, huh?
2498
01:39:01,501 --> 01:39:02,934
Dad, all right!
I'm proud of you.
2499
01:39:03,000 --> 01:39:04,434
Maybe you should grow a beard.
2500
01:39:04,501 --> 01:39:06,100
You looked pretty good the other night.
2501
01:39:06,167 --> 01:39:07,167
Can I cut in?
2502
01:39:07,234 --> 01:39:09,601
Oh! This show is an Emmy for sure!
2503
01:39:09,667 --> 01:39:12,434
Oh, thanks to you,
the polls are gonna be great!
2504
01:39:12,501 --> 01:39:14,434
Oh, I'm so glad to hear that.
2505
01:39:14,501 --> 01:39:16,367
They really are lovely people.
2506
01:39:19,200 --> 01:39:20,634
I was right.
2507
01:39:20,701 --> 01:39:22,467
���� ������ is a genius.
2508
01:39:22,534 --> 01:39:24,968
Miller's right.
I'm a programming genius.
2509
01:39:25,033 --> 01:39:25,968
Give me Miller.
2510
01:39:26,033 --> 01:39:27,801
He's not in his office, sir,
2511
01:39:27,868 --> 01:39:29,467
and he hasn't been there all week.
2512
01:39:29,534 --> 01:39:30,667
Where the hell is he?
2513
01:39:30,734 --> 01:39:33,601
[Muffled cries]
2514
01:39:33,667 --> 01:39:35,067
[Chittering]
2515
01:39:39,868 --> 01:39:41,367
Mmphh!
2516
01:39:41,434 --> 01:39:43,968
[Boing]
2517
01:39:44,033 --> 01:39:46,901
[Pleasurable moaning]
2518
01:39:58,033 --> 01:40:00,000
[Applause]
2519
01:40:00,067 --> 01:40:01,334
Ladies and gentlemen,
2520
01:40:01,400 --> 01:40:04,033
I'd like to propose a toast,
if I may,
2521
01:40:04,100 --> 01:40:05,501
to the bride and groom.
2522
01:40:05,567 --> 01:40:08,667
����, �������...
2523
01:40:08,734 --> 01:40:10,300
may your love be everlasting.
2524
01:40:10,367 --> 01:40:12,133
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!
2525
01:40:12,200 --> 01:40:15,834
Ah, love, it makes the world go 'round!
2526
01:40:15,901 --> 01:40:17,501
Oh, you're wrong, Emily.
2527
01:40:17,567 --> 01:40:20,501
It makes it go up and down.
2528
01:40:20,567 --> 01:40:22,167
Here's to you, ����������--
2529
01:40:22,234 --> 01:40:24,000
Or should I say Senator?
2530
01:40:24,067 --> 01:40:25,701
Yes, I think you should.
2531
01:40:25,767 --> 01:40:29,033
And I should say that
I owe it all to you, ����,
2532
01:40:29,100 --> 01:40:30,367
and to Robert.
2533
01:40:30,434 --> 01:40:32,701
Too bad judge Williams isn't here.
2534
01:40:32,767 --> 01:40:35,501
Hah. You'll see him
in about 10 to 20 years.
2535
01:40:35,567 --> 01:40:36,834
I'm sure when he comes out,
2536
01:40:36,901 --> 01:40:38,234
he'll feel like a new woman.
2537
01:40:39,601 --> 01:40:42,367
Hey, what do you say we all get naked
2538
01:40:42,434 --> 01:40:45,033
and see who the best man is?
2539
01:40:45,100 --> 01:40:48,200
Hey, I'm betting on you, �����������.
2540
01:40:48,267 --> 01:40:49,200
Senator.
2541
01:40:49,267 --> 01:40:50,834
[Band plays tango]
2542
01:40:50,901 --> 01:40:53,200
Emily, baby,
they're playing our song!
2543
01:40:53,267 --> 01:40:54,400
Oh, no!
2544
01:41:13,300 --> 01:41:15,334
Hoo-ah!
2545
01:41:16,968 --> 01:41:20,234
Ho ho!
Ooh, ����!
2548
01:42:12,234 --> 01:42:14,300
Hey, thank you, everybody.
2549
01:42:14,367 --> 01:42:16,968
On today's show,
you're gonna meet a man
2550
01:42:17,033 --> 01:42:20,067
who has fallen in love...
with a squirrel.
2551
01:42:23,534 --> 01:42:27,334
[Giggles]
2552
01:42:27,400 --> 01:42:29,501
Well, there you have it...
2553
01:42:29,567 --> 01:42:31,300
Alan Miller and... Acorn.
2554
01:42:31,367 --> 01:42:32,634
[Chitters]
Yes!
2555
01:42:32,701 --> 01:42:34,234
Pretty nice couple, I'd say.
2556
01:42:34,300 --> 01:42:35,167
Yes.
2557
01:42:52,234 --> 01:42:55,667
[Devo performs Communication Breakup]
186277
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