All language subtitles for Kevin.from.Work.S01E08.Aftershock.From.Work..WEB-DL.x264-PJA.en

Oh, man, I just did not get a lot of
sleep after that earthquake last night.

Yeah, me neither.

I got to meet
my neighbors, though.

-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.

There was one guy who had a whole
bunch of my old credit card receipts.

And how cool is that?
It's like a super fan.

And how's Roxie?
She okay?

She slept through
the whole thing.

That's her pure heart.

No worries
to keep her awake.

Well, it's either that or the
48 hours of straight partying.

(chuckles) That girl
knows how to live life.

Sleeping her day away.

"Sorry, closed today.
Earthquake damage."

Yeah, all right!

That's a paid day off
right there.

But you know what? Promise
I'm not gonna waste this one.

See, there was a power
outage back in January

and I spent the whole day trying
to peel an orange in one piece.

Closest I got
was 12 pieces.

That's pretty good.

(phone buzzes)

-It's from Patti.
-Ah.

"Earthquake damage.
Handyman me.

"Will pay you
with a fat Franklin."

Hope that means 100 bucks
and not a sex position.

Ha! Right?

-You're sick.
-Come on.

-But I like it.
-Yeah.

Um, anyway, I got--

-I got some big news.
-Oh, yeah?

I got contacted by this
headhunter who wanted to know

if I was interested
in a new job.

-Cool.
-Yeah, might be out of town.

And I might be getting
pissed off right now, Kev.

Don't you dare put me
on this roller coaster again.

Man, I gotta at least hear
what she has to offer, right?

I'm gonna video chat
with her later this morning.

What about Audrey?

Ever since my big stand, she's
just backed right off. You know?

Unless, of course,
she's reminding me

that she has a boyfriend.
It's incessant.

Brock thinks...

Brock says... Brock did...

Brock... Brock... Brock...

So, if she's doubling down on Brock,
then I might as well be somewhere else.

But, hey, you know,

at least you and Roxie
will have each other.

Nah, no we won't.
Not in a biblical sense.

Meaning, like, we wouldn't...

go to church
together because...

that girl isn't...
built for church.

I'm gonna walk
you to chur-- work.

-Let's go on to work again.
-Okay.

(theme music plays)

♪ Because it's all good ♪

♪ It's all, all,
it's all good ♪

♪ Uh-huh, yup, it's all good ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh,
it's all good ♪

♪ Because it's all good ♪

♪ It's all, all,
it's all good ♪

♪ Uh-huh, yup, it's all good ♪

Have a good one.

Oh, Kevin!

That was some earthquake
last night.

Sorry, I promised Brock I'd call
him when I got to work safely.

So, excuse me.

(phone rings)

Julia's not coming in
because of the earthquake.

She had structural damage.

One of her boobs popped.

-Oh. -So, we have to do an
earthquake drill without her.

Corporate mandate.

I thought you should know
since you're earthquake captain.

What? Why? Since when?

Apparently, when you applied
to work here,

you listed CPR certified on your
resume under special skills.

We await your orders.

Kind of ironic since under
special skills

I put "extensive knowledge
of plate tectonics."

But, whatever.

Roxie, what are
you doing here?

Did you know that there was
an earthquake last night?

Yes, I did. It woke me
right up.

Well, when I woke up an hour ago,
the freakiest thing happened.

You know that cinnamon-scented
candle I have?

You know, the one that I use to cover
up the smells of sweaty, steamy--

Know the candle.
Did not know its purpose.

Well, it was shattered!
Glass all over my floor.

Thank God that lady I call
to clean the apartment sometimes

swept it up
before I got out of bed.

So, you're okay,
and you'll get a new candle,

and you'll never tell me
what it's for again.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Where are you going?

I have to go organize
this earthquake drill,

which could not come
at a worse time.

But I'm just gonna
power through.

What are you doing?

I don't know.

Some weird sibling instinct
deep in my brain

told me to reach out
to you.

Hmm.

And now, another instinct
is telling me to let go

'cause your hand
is like a sweaty meat pie.

Thank you.

Wait, I love you, though.

Oh, I'm so glad you're here.

But Patti didn't send you that text.
I sent it from her phone.

Oh. That's cool.

I'm no stranger
to false pretenses.

There is a crack in the plaster
in the bedroom.

I told Patti I would fix it.
I cannot.

And, I'm afraid after last night
Patti may be questioning my manhood.

-(rumbling)
-Dev: What's that?

-It's an earthquake. It's an earthquake!
-(car alarms blaring)

Aah! I'm not ready to die!

It was not my finest hour.

Okay. Here's what we do.

I'm gonna fix
the plaster. Okay?

But then you're gonna take a selfie
and you're gonna send it to her

to make it look like
you did it yourself.

Oh, thank you.
That's brilliant.

What do I owe you?

Oh, no, brother, look,
look, this is bigger than money.

Okay, we're not just
rebuilding a wall.

We're rebuilding a man.

I'm gonna teach
you everything.

I should not be tearing up,
should I?

No.

'Cause you know, if you do,
then I might.

-Right?
-Yeah.

-And we gotta stay strong, right?
-Yeah.

-It's man time!
-Yeah.

-Man time!
-Man time!

-Now follow me into the
bedroom, man. -Okay.

We're the smart ones, right?

Day after an earthquake.
Short lines.

I'm just here to get my
driver's license photo retaken.

I know, right?

And it's so annoying when someone cards
you and they look at the picture,

and then they look at me,
and you know they're thinking,

"But you're so beautiful,
and that picture is so average."

(laughing)

So, how'd your man act
during the earthquake?

Oh, he ran to my side and
he threw himself over me.

Why would you say
something like that?

(phone buzzing)

(scoffs)

Hey, look at this.

So, now he's a man?

This does not undo
all the screaming, okay?

If you're gonna be yelling about
the big one in the bedroom,

it had better be about something other
than an earthquake, am I right?

I think it's sweet.

You're oh-for-two, lady.

It's not sweet.
It's sad.

Okay. "There has been
an earthquake, magnitude 6.2--"

Roxie, what are you
still doing here?

I don't know.
I mean,

I should be mercilessly mocking you
for being an earthquake captain,

and yet, I feel like I don't want to
leave you and your stupid ugly vest.

Oh, that's so nice, but I actually
don't have time for this right now.

Kevin, I could have died
in the earthquake today!

Or worse, the guy with the gross
comb-over, who lives upstairs,

could have fallen through the
ceiling and pinned me for hours.

Okay, I've told you
before, that's not a guy.

Her name is Candy, and she has--

Life is too short!

And I realize that I haven't always
been the sister that I should be,

but I wanna change that now.

Oh my God,
what is happening to me?

Sounds like you're
having an epiphany.

The same thing happened
to me at Souplantation

when I saw them rotate
the potato salad.

I realized

you can't sit around
and wait for someone else

to hide the slimy film
covering your life.

Girl, you need to rotate
that potato salad yo-self.

Oh, my God.

You're right!

I am having an epiphany.

This is amazing.

God, I feel like I need to share
this feeling with other people.

This says I need
to assign injuries to people.

Someone will have to play
emergency personnel.

We have to designate a triage area and
show people how to use water purifiers.

I mean, is there
a shorter practice drill?

I don't know, Kevin.

Let's ask the survivors of the
great 1906 San Francisco earthquake

where we should cut corners.

I think they're all dead.

Exactly.

I'll be first responder.

Ooh! Spinal cord injury.

Hey, I hear
you're an actress.

I may need your help
with my lines later.

(drawling)
And an accent, y'all.

Right.

Oh. I didn't know
you were in here.

-I was just going to--
-Checking on Brock?

Well, yes.

I mean, he is
my long-term boyfriend.

Of course. Of course he is.
We'll leave you to it.ú

Okay.

Wait. Did something
happen between you guys?

You seemed at her?

No, I'm not mad.
I'm just tense.

Wait. Why are you tense?

Listen, this is
post-epiphany Roxie.

You can tell me anything.
I'm totes reliable.

Okay, look.

I haven't told anyone here,

but I'm actually looking
for a new job.

-(gasps)
-Yeah.

I have to find a place to have a video
interview with a headhunter at 11:00,

so that's why I'm racing
through this drill.

Oh, did you just
tell me a secret?

Oh my God,
I think I did.

Oh, we just moved our sib
relationship to a new level.

Is there anything else
you wanna tell me?

No, let's just
keep it to the one.

Baby steps. Okay.
I can do that.

Okay, people,
you all know what to do.

Let's keep this
short and sweet.

The earthquake has started.

Aah!

Hmm. She's actually
pretty good.

It's just a drill.

Um, I need you all to get
under your desks now.

Great!

And the first responders
should have arrived by now.

Mmm, probably not yet.

I'd be back at
the firehouse making chili.

Everyone loves my recipe.

Fine.

And shaking, shaking, shaking!

And the earthquake is over,
and you've all survived.

-Congratulations.
-(applause)

Great, now head to the stairs.

(on bullhorn) Good job! I
will meet you all outside!

Okay, first responder
is here now.

Ooh, shouldn't have had
that last helping of chili.

Speaking of,
this scene is gruesome!

If this was a 6.2 thrust fault
quake centered in the Valley,

30% injuries, 10% casualties.

Ricky, you have no way
of knowing that.

I think Ricky is just trying
his best to help

and wants to feel appreciated.

I wasn't even aware of that,
but you're probably right.

Hmm.

-Hmm.
-Hmm.

So, now you're
talking to me, huh?

I haven't been
not talking to you.

I mean, we're still
friends, Kevin.

You know, I don't have time for this
push and pull thing that you do, so--

I don't do that.

Brock is really gonna
find that hilarious.

Fine. You wanna be helpful?

Yes, of course.
I'm a helpful person.

Well, we could use
another injury.

So, let's see.
You have a...

Massive head injury.

So, you should find triage,
which is just outside.

-I think I would be more
helpful if I just-- -Mmm.

Probably can't talk
with a massive head injury.

Thank you for broadening
your man lessons with me.

There's a lot of stuff
to fix around here,

and I don't know the first thing
about plumbing.

Ah. No problem, man.

Um... You got YouTube here?

You took it apart and you
have no idea how to proceed?

I just impressed Patti.
I do not want to unimpress her.

Shh. Look, don't worry.

I'm gonna call my guy.

(doorbell rings)

I'm Hank.
Brian's guy.

How about the three of us
get busy in the bathroom?

Kevin: I don't know if you're gonna live.
It's too early to tell.

(on bullhorn) If you are a a first
responder, find your injury buddy.

If you are deceased,
lay down.

Can we please speed this up?!

People are torn about which of my
post-epiphany selfies are better.

Ugh. If only they
had my clarity.

Uh, by the way, people couldn't
identify what accent I was using,

so I settled on
a nervous tic.

-I don't see it? -My
character's taking meds for it.

It's working.

Kevin:
Guess what, Gus?

You couldn't be walking
around trying to bum

cigarettes with a shattered
pelvis, could you?

Okay, I get it.
You're mad at me.

But I've had my head cradled
in Simon's lap for 20 minutes.

Consider your revenge complete.

So, you should put me
to work, or I'm going home.

Why would I want revenge?

Because I didn't respond to your big speech
about how we're destined to be together.

And I'm okay with that.

Then why are you
acting like a jerk?

I'm a jerk?

I'm the guy who let you
use my birthday

when your lovey-dovey approach
to managing the office failed.

I let you stay with me when you
were tired of being at Brock's.

I even saved your life.

So, excuse me for bristling
every time you say "Brock"

-like he's some kind of karate God.
-Jiu-jitsu!

Whatever! It's all just
barefoot guys in pajamas.

I should be your God.

That last part came out
super obnoxious.

And the pajamas thing
was even a bit harsh.

What are they fighting about?

Who knows.

Whoa. Did you see it?

-What?
-I just did the tic.

Almost imperceptible,

but yet says so much about my character's
stress level of being a first responder.

(gasps)
Damn.

Did I turn the chili off
back at the station?

Look, all of us,
everybody here,

we all know that
you have a boyfriend, okay?

I'm not sure
you always know.

I don't like
the way she talks to him.

Listen to me.

Hashtag empathy,
hashtag the new me.

Huh. We have a gas pipe here.

Sorry, I don't work
with gas.

Patti will be home soon.

No worries.
I got a guy.

I'm Hank's guy.
I do gas.

And I brought my electrics guy.
You know, just in case.

Smart.

If only one of them
had a belt guy.

This is a big
earthquake people!

LAX has been destroyed,
the Hollywood sign is on fire!

Ricky, what are you doing
with my bullhorn?

And why would the Hollywood
sign be on fire?

Don't worry about my use of iconic
imagery for dramatic effect, okay?

Just worry about
your big interview.

Wait. What?

How did you find out
about that?

Hashtag empathy,
hashtag the new me.

Oh. Anyway, I'm just glad
Kevin is getting away from her.

What?

Is he moving cubicles again?

That guy can't keep
his ass in a chair.

Oh, no, he's just really
smart and talented,

and that's why he has
a headhunter all over him.

He has a video interview at 11:00
so he can get out of here for good.

Does he?

Showoff.

Yeah, those are
all pretty strong.

The camera just loves
some people.

Not the pictures,
the epiphany.

I want one!

I don't know if you
can want an epiphany.

They have
to just happen.

Oh, my gosh.

I never realized that.

I see everything
so differently now.

Nope. That wasn't one.

What is going on
around here?

Everyone's giving me
weird looks,

and I did a nipple check already,
so I know it's not that anymore.

I don't know.

Do you think your brother would
give me his chair when he goes?

I noticed his rear makes
similar indentations to mine.

Oh, now I know why.

I just told everyone what you
told me not to tell anyone

that Kevin told you
was a secret.

Ricky! Why would you do that?

Oh, that's right.
You don't work here.

I'm the totally
untrustworthy one.

Ugh.

Woman:
Is that your office?

This? No, no, no.

I just needed
a quiet place. This is--

The damage is actually
quite minor.

It just looks bad.

Well, we've looked over your resume
and we'd love to help place you.

Kev! I'm sorry!

-Kev! -Well, I definitely
want to hear more.

Kev!

Aah!

(debris clatters)

I'm all ears.

-Whoa.
-(body thuds)

Did we fight?

No. No, we've never
been closer.

Wait!

You told Ricky
about my interview.

Yes, yes, old news.

Okay, here's the receptionist. Be
careful 'cause you're wobbling.

Come on, get off of me.
I can check myself in.

Your epiphany is a joke.

Two, please.

Oh, that's handy.

We got a spinal cord!

No, no, this is from
an earthquake drill.

-He's the one who's hurt.
-Oh.

Yeah, you can take a seat.

He's bleeding!

That's why I pointed
towards the plastic chairs.

No, no, no no! He's not
sitting, you're getting someone.

I need your insurance card.
Where's your wallet?

I'm not giving you that. You're like the
least reliable person in the world.

You'd just spend it
all on chips.

Okay, you know what?
You're being such a baby

and so disrespectful
about my epiphany.

I was bragging about you.
Okay? That's why I told Ricky.

Because I think you're
too good for that place.

Whoa, excuse me!

-My son has a fever.
-You can fill this out.

No, no. No one's filling anything out
until my brother gets medical attention.

We were here first.

Do you really want to step
between a mother and her cub?

Do you really want to see what I can
do with my belt and your flip-flop?

Because Cara Horvath
made that mistake in

10th grade, and she
didn't graduate on time.

Ha. Whoa.

Feeling a bit queasy.

It's probably just the chili.
Did I have chili?

Get him a doctor now.

What is going on here?

I'm concerned with the stress
of waiting in this line

is gonna come across
in my re-shoots.

Sir, would you like
to move up here?

What are you doing!?
We've been waiting forever.

Although...

You look like you've been
waiting forever forever.

What are you? Like 200?

Show a little kindness,
would you?

Things like earthquakes are supposed
to bring out the best in people.

Really?

(panting)

Oh, that was terrifying.

Oh, my God.

I've thrown my lot in
with a coward.

I've been cruel
to my baby.

I can't treat him like that and
expect a lasting relationship.

I have to change my ways.

(angelic chorus sings)

An epiphany!

A real one this time!

Sir, please, go ahead.

Retake that eye test!

I'm going home
to my man.

So, they're gonna keep
you here overnight.

You really came through
for me here.

Thanks.

Yeah, and if you ever want to give me a
chance with the whole trust thing again...

Okay, here it goes.

If they offer me that job in Italy,
do you think I should take it?

In Italy?

You can have my apartment.

But I don't want
your apartment without you.

We just started
getting close.

See, I changed my Facebook status
to in a domestic partnership.

I used to just pretend
that I lived alone,

and when they would ask, I would
say that you were a drifter

I let in for a glass of water.
But now...

You know, the truth is
I think I just need a change.

This thing with Audrey's
never gonna happen.

The other day, I basically told
her that she had feelings for me,

and that we were destined
to be together, and...

Anyway, it doesn't matter.

She doesn't even know
that I'm here and not there.

Oh, no. Yeah, she knows.

Everyone does.

I am the god of earthquakes!

Tremble before me!

Oww.

Wow.

Mm-hmm.

So, she knows
that I'm here,

and she hasn't come.

If that doesn't tell me to go to
Italy, I don't know what does.

Kev, listen. If this thing with Audrey
makes you feel like you need to leave,

then maybe you should.

I mean,
I don't like it,

but I support you.
It's your decision.

Thanks.

I really hope you remember
how awesome I've been today.

(chuckles)
I will.

But I'm totally lucid now.

Hey, did they put out
the fire at the Hollywood sign?

Patti: Dev?

It's Patti! She's gonna
see what a failure I am!

Everyone in the shower!

Aah.

Hey, look, Dev just wanted to prove
to you what kind of man he is.

All right? So, we started
working on other things,

and it just-- Well,

it's kind of like pulling
a thread on a sweater.

Ooh, I have a great tailor
if you need a guy.

I know that last night
I was not a man.

Today I failed you again, so--

No, Devy, stop.

I'm the one that needs
to apologize to you.

I'm sorry I called you a coward.
I don't feel that way anymore.

And besides,
a couple only needs one alpha.

And we both know
it's me.

Oh, um, look,
I've seen this before, fellas.

We're gonna have to be
the ones to move on out.

So, yeah, go ahead.

I've got you.

We have a massive head injury!
I need a doctor!

No, no ,no.
How's Kevin?

There's no visible
signs of trauma?

She's fine! Don't you guys
get it? These are just stickers!

I came to see Kevin.
Is he okay?

Why was he in the gym?
Did he have to get stitches?

You're asking questions
like you care.

While, Kevin,
on the other hand, does not.

He said he doesn't
want to see you.

He said that?
Kevin said that?

Look, I don't know
what your deal is,

but you are way too far in his
head, and not in a good way.

What are you talking about?
I haven't done anything wrong?

Oh, right. Except lead him
on in the hugest way?

You know, this all started with a
love letter right? That he wrote.

Do you, or do you not
have a boyfriend?

You know I have a boyfriend.

Okay. Well, then go check on him.
'Cause Kevin's fine.

I do care about
your brother. You know?

You can't just have it
every which way you want it.

I'm pretty much
the only person who can do that.

So, we can do this the easy way,
or with my belt and a flip-flop.

Stay away from my brother.

That was weird. I thought
I heard Audrey out there.

Did she come
to check on me?

No. No, must have
been dreaming.

Huh.

Ugh!

Oh, I should have warned you.

That is mostly tequila.