All language subtitles for Kevin from Work - 01x10 - Team Kevin From Work

(sighs)

Welcome back, Kevin.

FYI, it's sample day.

The conference room is humming
with pudding right now.

- Nice.
- Mm-hmm.

Good to be back.

Oh! Only one per employee.

- You already had yours.
- Oh.

I thought with your head injury,
your system couldn't handle pudding.

You can get yours, Audrey.

Banana's the best.
Kevin had that.

No thanks, Ricky.
I'm not in the mood today.

Hey, what's her deal?

She hasn't even looked at me.

Is she upset that
I'm looking for another job?

I assume that you told her
as well.

Yes, I did.

But no, she doesn't care.

Oh.

She's upset
for a mystery reason.

But my network is all over it.

Shondra said that yesterday
Audrey was really happy,

and she had a new manicure
and haircut.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

That's it? That's the whole thing?
No details?

She got it done
at the pricey place in Encino

by the guy who looks like
Pax Jolie-Pitt.

Okay.

And yesterday, Ned said he
saw her speaking on the phone

in a very animated fashion.

And yet, this morning,

She came off the elevator
and was hardly cheery.

It's gonna be a hot one today.

If one more person says that to me, I'm
going to smash their face in the copier!

And Alice said she threw a small silver
object in her top drawer yesterday.

Unclear what it was,

but I'm guessing oyster fork.

Okay, so we've got
a secret silver object,

a good mood, a bad mood,
and a haircut.

It's very clear
what's going on here.

What?

I have no idea.
You've given me nothing.

- (theme music plays)
- (scoffs)

♪ Because it's all good ♪

♪ It's all, all,
it's all good ♪

♪ Uh-huh, yup,
it's all good ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh,
it's all good ♪

♪ Because it's all good ♪

♪ It's all, all,
it's all good ♪

♪ Uh-huh, yup,
it's all good ♪

Something's up
with Audrey and Brock.

I was snooping around
her desk the other day,

and found something
very interesting.

Ooh, a pregnancy test with
a plus, like, really clear?

No, a mystery ring.

Two dolphins touching noses.

But Ricky thinks
it's way more than that.

The dolphins may say
swimming in paradise,

but her behavior says
trouble in paradise.

Maybe I should make a move?

Jeez, do you never learn?

I mean, you've had endless humiliation
with this girl starting with that letter,

and now what's the latest thing? You
pull her away from a moving car?

God, if you can't get a girl to like you
after that, I don't know what to tell you.

Move on to men, maybe?

I don't know,
I'll keep thinking.

Well, I'm gearing up my body
for the move to Italy.

Woke up 15 minutes ago and a full-bodied
Chianti is about to be my breakfast.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
I might have a reason to stay.

- What? -Yeah, Audrey.
He's back on it.

Ooh, you should join a cult!

I mean, you have to share women,
but some's better than none, right?

Wait a minute, I thought
we were as good as gone?

I mean, I looked into
housing already.

When you say
"looked into..."

Yeah, like, I...
put the deposit down.

It's an old bell tower,
you know?

I figured that you and I would have
a blast ringing that sucker, so...

Guys, I have been offered
the job in Italy, yes,

but I haven't taken it yet.

I bet I can buy a couple of days before
I have to officially accept it or not.

So, you know,

maybe I mysteriously
lost my passport?

Wait a minute, I thought Audrey
wasn't even talking to you?

For some reason...

Stay away from my brother.

So Audrey did
come to the hospital.

How did you know about that?

Oh, I thought you were Kevin.

No, no. No, no. I'm just here
to pick up his homework.

Well, his work to do at home.

It's not called homework.
I know that.

Um, is there a guidance
counselor I can ask about this?

How is he?

I assume it's okay to ask you.

Roxie only threatened me
about not talking to Kevin.

Hmm?

She has a boyfriend, Kevin.

I told her to stop
messing with you,

because nobody mistreats
my brother but me.

She cared that I was hurt.
This... this... this is huge!

I mean, and now there's
potential trouble with Brock?

I should definitely be making a move.
Brian, what do you think?

I... I was actually really looking
forward to moving to Italy.

But, this is huge for you.

And it kind makes living in a
bell tower look a little silly.

It looked a little silly anyway.

But I know, I'm just trying to
justify the hasty deposit, Kev.

But you got my back on this?

If I have a shot,
I need to take it now.

Man, you know I'm always
Team Kevin.

Okay, okay, stop, stop!
This is crazy. Okay?

I won't let you make a move

until we know for a fact what's
going on with Audrey and Brock

if you want to keep that little bit
of micro-pride that you have left.

So, you really wanna do this?

I have to.

Okay.

Well, you know,
I'm Team Kevin, too.

Can I get a "K"?

- K.
- K.

Can I get a "E"?

- E.
- E.

- Can I get a V...
- Okay.

It's "Kevin."
We know how it ends.

Daddy, this restaurant
is sublime.

Thank you for inviting me. I can
see why it's your favorite.

Of course, sweetheart.

- Now...
- And you look faboo.

Now, Patti, I want to talk
to you about something serious.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna
get mine to go.

Excuse me.

Patti, sit.

I'm concerned about you.

You're living your life like that crazy
pear-shaped girl who's always naked on HBO.

I want you to embrace adulthood.
I want you...

to get a job.
Something you love.

But what can I do that
involves long scented

baths, shopping, "Real
Housewives," and tapas?

I don't know.

But, if you don't do as I ask,

- I'll be forced to cut...
- Don't.

- You off.
- Don't. Don't.

Don't!

I'm sorry, sweetheart,
but it's for your own good.

Oh, Kev, you're finally home.

Team Kevin has this so under
control, it is not even funny.

Yeah, nothing funny about this.

No, it's cool, huh?

I got the idea from my show.

We always uncover a setup like
this when we catch a stalker.

Not that we're
calling you a stalker.

Right. Because I'm not.

Because you guys
put this together, not me.

Oh, look, she got takeout, and
then she recycled the containers.

You can tell
'cause it's the same containers.

Okay, um...

So, later, I'm gonna meet with Brock,
Roxie's gonna meet with Audrey,

we're gonna report back
what we learned.

Right, in the meantime,

I am going to hold off
the Italians

until I have enough info
to either stay or go.

Don't worry, Kevin. We're gonna figure
out what's going on with your girl.

Yeah.

"My girl."

I could get used
to the sound of that.

The stalkers on our show
always say the same thing.

Yeah, but not as creepy.

Thanks for coming here.

I just need to take my mind
off getting a job.

Well, this is the place
to feel better.

There's always someone worse
off than you at the mall.

I know, people here look so sad.

Like, they're dead and going to
heaven in slo-mo on the escalator.

(laughing)

Oh, god, send that one
to the down escalator.

Excuse me, can I help you?

No way. You'll turn me into
the ghost of Christmas 1985.

What is that eye shadow?

She said it was retro chic?

It's retro making my skin crawl.

And the monkey in Lion King has a
more skilled hand at applying it.

Here. Move, sister.

You have a beautiful face.

But we need to emphasize
the "wow" aspects,

and hide the "whoa" aspects.

What are you doing?

Everything you
couldn't, sunshine.

You're basically translucent, so we
need to add some color to your skin.

You're like see-through,

like a Ziploc bag with eyes.

Like, I almost didn't see you.
It was just eyes and teeth.

Like an ice cube,
but like, not as dark.

Yes. Yes.

Excuse me, you don't work here.

No, I'm just letting
off some steam

and trying to prevent the
mental breakdown of this woman.

With some contouring
and some neutrals,

I'll make her human again.

Do you want to work here?

"Want" is a strong word,

but I'll take it.

(gasps)

Hey, fellas.

Um, I'm Brian.

Um, I'm interested
in joining your group

as I too, practice in the ancient
martial art of jiu-jitsu.

Welcome. You're just
in time to grab a partner.

We're working on
under-arm collar chokes.

That's awesome.

I'mma join him.

I pick the blue pill.

All right, man, go.

You better get outta here, man.

Ooh, I'll matrix
the hell outta you.

Hey, I'm Brian, what's up?

Brock.

Nothing.

Cool, I hear you.

So, how's it going
with the ladies?

It's going.

Say no more.

(whistle blows)

Or say more.

(grunting)

Oh, no. Are we really
doing this?

- Yeah.
- Ah, damn.

I just wanna apologize
for getting involved

where I shouldn't have
at the hospital.

You know, it was none
of my business, and I was harsh.

Thank you.

But actually,
I thought about it a lot.

And maybe I... have been
flirting with Kevin.

I guess, I like the attention,
I'm embarrassed to say.

Girl, wanting attention
is not embarrassing.

Not getting it is.

Have you not been getting
attention from your boyfriend?

It's complicated.

Oh, girl,
you should talk to me about it,

because when it comes to men,

my specialty is
complicated situations.

A lost passport is a complicated
situation, I'm afraid.

Take as long as you want.

I mean, I don't even mind if I have
to call the people who hired me

and tell them that I need a little
more time to get everything in order.

Sounds like you don't
want to go?

I don't know.

It's about a girl.

- Are you okay, honey?
- Are you okay, man?

Oh, it seems unfair that a man gets to
use his feet like that, I gotta say.

- (grunting)
- Come on, brother.

You want a Power-Quench?

I think they sell
the red kind, and the blue kind.

And the orange kind!

- Nah, I'm good.
- Okay.

Great.

Are you good, though?
I mean...

You know, you seem like
you got a lot of anger in you.

It's probably related
to that girl though, huh?

Not again!

Maybe I've matured out
of our college relationship,

and Brock hasn't.

God, I...

Both: Can't believe
I'm telling you all this.

No, we're glad you are, honey.

We haven't had a romantic
story pass through here

- in forever.
- Forever

was never meant
to be with Brock.

I need someone who brings
something more to the table.

Someone who gets me. It was
good I did what I did, right?

Why? Wait,
what did you do?

We're on a break.

(both gasp)

A couple days ago, Brock told me
he had something special planned.

I thought we were going to my favorite
place he never wants to go to.

- Which is?
- The bluffs at the beach.

Which beach?
Which bluffs?

The hidden ones
off Temescal by the cliffs.

You can see forever from there,
and just think about stuff.

I thought he was planning
something special, but...

Thanks for walking
to the store with me.

I didn't realize I was low on
whey powder and protein powder.

(accordion music plays)

- Babe?
- Uh-huh?

Oh, my god...

Are you getting down
on one knee right now?

Not for this.

It was a promise ring.

- Oof.
- And before that,

I got
a "we're exclusive" bracelet.

And before that, one of those
heart necklaces in two pieces

where each person wears one.

"True love"?

"Best friends."

- Oof.
- Yeah.

I just thought I would
be planning my wedding by now.

But, I guess it's time
to wake up and realize

he's never going to make
the commitment I want.

(sighs)

I need to move on.

Oh, that's okay, baby girl.
Come here.

So, really, I'm just a nice guy

who wants to come out
on top for once.

(women sighing)

(phone dings)

Oh, my god.

She finally broke up
with her dumb boyfriend.

(laughs)

I gotta go pick up my friend
Brian and get this baby rolling!

Rip up those forms, Fran!
It was all a fake!

I don't even need
a passport anymore!

Well, normally, deception is frowned
upon at the passport office,

but, good luck, Kevin
Reese Daily, good luck!

Okay, girlfriend,
we are about to take off,

time to check those bags.

Loves it.

Ladies, I'm afraid we're
finished for the evening.

Please bring your basic faces
back tomorrow at 9:00 A.M.

Thank you.

You shouldn't come back
tomorrow, you know.

Of course not.
But my daddy's forcing me.

No, I mean, you are so good,

you should have
your own makeup line.

Really?

Why work for the man,
when you can work for yourself?

With the financial backing
of a different man?

Okay.

I'm proud of myself.

Oh my god, Brian!

Oh.

Hey, Kevin.

You okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

(whispering) I can't
feel my legs, Kevin.

Hey, Brock.

I didn't know that you
would be here.

Brian never said anything about
hanging out with Brock, did you?

Oh, hey.

Yeah, you work with Audrey.

I do, yeah.
And I heard you guys broke up.

- What?
- Yeah.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah, me too.

I really wish I heard about it
before I got my ass kicked.

Well, hey, look,
I'm no relationship guru,

but hey,
maybe it's for the best?

Really?

Look, there comes a time
in every man's life

where he's gotta move forward.

Maybe that time
for you is right now.

(scoffs)

You sound like a men's magazine.

(laughing)

You know 10 new sexual positions
to keep a woman satisfied, too?

(laughs)

No.

Well...

thanks for the advice.

I'm gonna go think about that.

(winces)

That was bold, Kev.

Well, couldn't help it.

Gotta go big or go home.

Let's start off by going home,

'cause now I can't feel
anything below my chest.

Okay. Let's get you...

Don't touch...
Don't touch it.

- I didn't touch it.
- No, no, no.

I can feel it,
I can feel it! Don't.

Hey, is Julia looking for me?

No, no, no, she's also late.

There's a raccoon in her driveway,
and she's scared to shoo it away,

so Ricky's over there now.

Hey, are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

Just... stuff with Brock.

We're not exactly
together at the moment.

But I thought we'd talk last
night, and he never called,

and now I can't
get ahold of him.

- It just goes straight to voicemail.
- Oh, really?

He must have
turned his phone off

because I can't even track him
on my Find My Friends app.

Well, I'm sure that
he'll resurface.

I mean, he's probably
just thinking things over.

You know, there's...

there's a lot to mull.

Why? What do you mean?

Nothing. It's like a generic
thing that people do.

It's what we do as people.

It's what separates us
from the apes.

- Excuse me.
- Maybe not. Okay.

(shutter clicks)

Everything she likes,
right here.

It's perfect.

Now, I already knew that
she loved all things blue,

and that she's kind of obsessed
with going to Morocco someday,

but there's some other helpful
stuff in here. For instance,

she really likes
these Hemsworth guys.

Now, what can we do with that?

Probably nothing.

Well, I picked up a ton of useful
information when I went out with Audrey.

Her favorite movie, song,
champagne, hair-removal method.

That girl is fast and loose with
the deets when she is drunk.

Well, I found out Brock really
can break a board by kicking it.

And I think
I blew out my meniscus.

- Oh.
- Sorry.

So, you're gonna drop off a note for her
telling her where to be and when, right?

Yes, yes, with that dress.
You're buying it for her.

- I'll take care of it.
- No, no, no.

Kev, I said I'll take
care of it.

I have your credit card
information memorized.

Hmm...

Do you mind if I start
before your dad gets here?

You just relax.

You don't want any
of these red ones, do you?

Patti, sweetheart.

And?

Richard, but I go by Ricky,

a nickname I picked up
in business school.

Oh.

From where were you graduated?

Oh, I didn't achieve
a degree, per se.

I dropped out to follow
Destiny's Child on tour. Per se.

Uh, Ricky has been helping me
with my journey here, Daddy.

You talked someone into being
your driver again, didn't you?

No, sir.
Her makeup journey.

Your daughter is brilliant
with a compact.

And in fact, she was the one
who drove me here today,

where she was also brilliant
with a compact.

You got a job putting on makeup.

Good for you, sweetheart.

Now, she's ready
to take it to the next level.

My own place,

where women can transform into
their best beautiful selves.

Why should your daughter work
for a sliver of the profits,

when she can have the whole pie?

Hmm?

(all laughing)

(chokes)

(muffled)
I'm good, I'm good. I'm good.

Okay.

Oh, thank you, Daddy!

Thank you, daddy.

The red ones are mine.

Okay.

Her favorite champagne
is on ice,

the twinkly lights are on,

the right color peonies.

Thank you guys
for setting this all up.

Who dragged the Moroccan rug out there?
That is a nice touch.

He did.

Yeah, but, she told me to fight
through the excruciating pain.

And you made
the delivery, right?

Yes.

One anonymous note,
and one dress delivered.

Look, I really appreciate
everything you guys have done.

I know there have been a lot of ups and
downs with this whole Audrey situation,

and you've stuck with me.

So, thanks.

Look,

I thought the chances were slim.
Gotta be honest, but...

looking good right now, man.

You are! This is happening!

(phone rings)

- That you?
- Yup.

It's the Italy people again.

Hello?

Ciao, Signore Greco.

I've thought a lot
about your offer, and...

I have to pass.

I think I need to be here.

Okay, thank you, so much.

Arrivederci.

Hakuna matata.

(all laughing)

Oh, Kev!

♪ Don't ask me
what you know is true ♪

♪ Don't have to tell you ♪

♪ I love your precious heart ♪

You ready, my man?

Yeah.

♪ I was standing ♪

Go get your girl.

♪ You were there ♪

♪ Two worlds colliding ♪

Wait, what's that?

Oh, hell no.

♪ And they could never
tear us apart ♪

Kevin:
Is that Brock?

Roxie:
What is he doing here?

Look, there comes a time
in every man's life

where he's gotta move forward.

Maybe that time
for you is right now.

Time to move forward.

♪ We could live
for a thousand years ♪

♪ But if I hurt you ♪

Thanks, granny.

♪ I'd make wine
from your tears ♪

♪ I told you ♪

♪ That we could fly ♪

♪ 'Cause we all have wings ♪

♪ But some of us
don't know why ♪

Kevin:
He's at the bench that I found

with my champagne and flowers,

and the blanket that I put there
because I know she's always cold.

(Roxie gasps)

Brian:
Oh, buddy, don't look.

♪ I was standing
you were there ♪

Kevin: And the ring that
I inspired him to go get.

I told him to move forward.

♪ And they could never, ever ♪

Well, that's it.

♪ Tear us apart ♪

My last chance with Audrey.

It's over.

(engine starts)

This... This was perfect.

And this dress is incredible.

Yeah.

Where'd you get it?

♪ I was standing ♪

♪ You were there ♪

♪ Two worlds colliding ♪