All language subtitles for Kevin from Work - 01x01 - Pilot web-dl

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,150 --> 00:00:02,690 (lid squeaks, clunks) 2 00:00:04,550 --> 00:00:07,050 Come on. Come on. Come on! 3 00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:08,560 Ow! Aah! 4 00:00:11,630 --> 00:00:14,390 ♪ Said I'm all about it ♪ 5 00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:16,760 ♪ 'Cause I got soul and I won't quit ♪ 6 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,120 ♪ And your dad don't like it when I talk my... ♪ 7 00:00:19,130 --> 00:00:21,130 Brian! Brian, I got it! 8 00:00:21,130 --> 00:00:23,560 - Got what? -The new job that I applied for in Italy. 9 00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:26,105 - I got it. - Hey, congratulations, man! 10 00:00:26,106 --> 00:00:27,330 I knew it! Didn't I tell you? 11 00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:29,240 You think positive, you test positive! 12 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,240 Preach that to all my clients. 13 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,040 - Yeah. -I finally get to leave the worst job in history... 14 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,470 Bad pay, an evil boss. 15 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:39,515 Oh, before you go, any suggestions 16 00:00:39,516 --> 00:00:42,580 on what nice thing I can say to Fat Rob in accounting? 17 00:00:42,580 --> 00:00:46,640 No more office that thinks being eco-friendly means having only one toilet, 18 00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:49,210 and a break room you can't even take a break in. 19 00:00:50,790 --> 00:00:52,460 Then there's Audrey. 20 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:57,090 Audrey Piatigorsky. She is perfect. 21 00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,830 (birds chirping) 22 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,580 - ♪ I just wanna leak ♪ - ♪ What? ♪ 23 00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:02,320 ♪ Not literally leak, wanna push the music ♪ 24 00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:04,090 Kevin: Everything she does and says... 25 00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:07,070 and how she smiles and laughs. 26 00:01:07,070 --> 00:01:10,070 ♪ Screaming "Who want what?" Now, please be warned ♪ 27 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,270 Of course, she's got this awful boyfriend 28 00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:12,800 she's had since college... Brock. 29 00:01:12,810 --> 00:01:15,480 I think he might actually be 30 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,410 the mean coach from The Karate Kid. 31 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,770 (squawks, thuds) 32 00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:20,480 Not Mr. Miyagi, the white dude. 33 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,220 - The white dude. Yeah. - Yeah. 34 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,490 ♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪ 35 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,350 (music slows, stops) 36 00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:32,650 (scoffs) He has no idea how lucky he is, you know? 37 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,360 But I've known. I've known since my first day at work. 38 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,090 Hi, nice to meet you. 39 00:01:37,090 --> 00:01:41,150 Ooh. I think you have something on your teeth, right here. 40 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,790 Oh. 41 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,065 That's when you knew she was your dream girl? 42 00:01:45,066 --> 00:01:47,330 Man, you come face-to-face with a hundred people a day, 43 00:01:47,330 --> 00:01:50,190 and nobody says anything about the spinach in your teeth. 44 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,100 - Yeah. - And there's one person... 45 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,360 who actually does say something. 46 00:01:54,370 --> 00:01:56,130 Well, that's Audrey. 47 00:01:56,140 --> 00:01:58,540 She's different. She's special. 48 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:03,440 But she'll never be with me, and I can't take sitting next to her every day, man. 49 00:02:03,450 --> 00:02:05,850 It's driving me crazy. Monday cannot come soon enough. 50 00:02:05,850 --> 00:02:09,220 Huh? You... You're going Monday? 51 00:02:09,220 --> 00:02:11,190 - Yes. - Oh, I see what you're doing. 52 00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:14,190 You're telling me at work so I don't make a scene, 53 00:02:14,190 --> 00:02:15,220 'cause I gotta be professional. 54 00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:16,380 - Brian. - Don't. 55 00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:21,190 (sighs) I wish I could go with you, man. 56 00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:23,890 Living in Los Angeles always felt like part one of our friendship, 57 00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:26,800 and you know the sequel always takes place in Europe. 58 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,640 - I'm sorry. -Crazy, wrong-side- of-the-road driving, 59 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:31,590 topless girls at the beach, 60 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,560 foreign girls that say my name like this... "Brai-en." 61 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:37,210 - Dude, you can come visit me. - I made $400 last year, Kevin. 62 00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:40,140 - Where am I going? -Okay, well, I'm coming home for Christmas. 63 00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:43,170 I got it! You miss your flight 'cause of a snowstorm. 64 00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:45,450 Uh-oh, a fake Santa Claus steals all of our gifts. 65 00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:47,450 And guess what. In the end, 66 00:02:47,450 --> 00:02:50,250 you know we're gonna learn that life lesson about the power of friendship. 67 00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:52,850 This is gonna work. (kisses) Let's go. 68 00:02:52,850 --> 00:02:55,610 - Come here. - (theme music playing) 69 00:03:01,190 --> 00:03:05,490 (cell phone ringing) 70 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,920 - (sighs) - (beeps) 71 00:03:09,930 --> 00:03:12,230 - Hello? - Are you so excited? 72 00:03:12,230 --> 00:03:14,830 I'm so excited. I already love Los Angeles, 73 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,470 and I'm only in San Bernan-dinano or whatever. 74 00:03:17,470 --> 00:03:20,170 Moving on a whim was the perfect plan, Kev. 75 00:03:20,170 --> 00:03:21,470 Are you so excited? I'm so excited. 76 00:03:21,470 --> 00:03:22,800 I actually am excited. 77 00:03:22,810 --> 00:03:24,940 I got a new job in Italy, 78 00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:27,240 so I am moving out. 79 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:29,210 What? Kev, that's amazing! 80 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,640 This works out kind of perfectly, 'cause... 81 00:03:30,650 --> 00:03:32,320 Can I be like a thousand percent honest?... 82 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,220 I didn't really wanna share an apartment with you. 83 00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:35,650 You're my brother and I love you, 84 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,520 but like a million percent honest, 85 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,560 I thought it'd be super weird when I brought guys back there. 86 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,550 And guess what. That is happening. 87 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,390 - Probably kind of a lot. - Okay, Roxanne. 88 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,750 Ooh! Roxie. Roxanne sounds slutty. 89 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,560 Oh, I gotta go, Kev. I'm gonna flash my boobs at this cute guy. 90 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,960 Hey, you! Can you tell your kids to cover their eyes? 91 00:03:57,340 --> 00:03:59,900 - (chuckles) - So, it's true? 92 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:04,830 - (drawer shuts) - Yes, I... I quit. 93 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:08,240 No, that you have a weird paper clip and binder fetish. 94 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,270 - Everyone's been talking about it. - (both laugh) 95 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:14,850 Yeah, well... Yeah, no... no fetishes here. 96 00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:18,320 Unless my partner's into that, and then, you know, 97 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,660 put me in pigtails, give me a lollipop, 98 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,680 and let's start changing some diapers. 99 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,330 Yeah, that stuff is weird. 100 00:04:26,530 --> 00:04:28,900 So weird. I don't know why I said that. 101 00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:32,400 - It's so... - Hey, guys, lay low. 102 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,000 Julia's handing out a crappy account... 103 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,400 Dreyerson Nursing Home and Hospice Spa. 104 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,960 Nothing but Ensures and seltzers, 105 00:04:37,970 --> 00:04:40,240 it's way out in the boonies, and it reeks. 106 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,010 Ricky! That is not your business! 107 00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:45,010 Sorry, boss! 108 00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:47,010 Like, urine with a dash of hummus or something. 109 00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:48,810 It's real bad smell over at Dryerson. 110 00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,010 - Oh, that is so gross, Ricky. - Hey, a bunch of us 111 00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:53,540 - wanna get together in your honor tonight. - Oh, you guys don't... 112 00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:55,850 - How fun! - Sure, great. Where? When? 113 00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:57,650 - Oh, I wish I could go. - What? 114 00:04:57,650 --> 00:05:00,010 Brock has his big tournament tonight. It's regionals. 115 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:02,390 Or is it semi-regionals? Or is it semi-final regionals? 116 00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:04,290 Is there such a thing as regional regionals? 117 00:05:04,290 --> 00:05:07,390 - Nope. That'd be weird. - You're so devoted. 118 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,790 Craftworks Gastropub and Tapas Bar. 119 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,730 Six o'clock. It's gonna be epic, 120 00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:15,300 especially if we can get a booth by the air conditioner. 121 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:17,340 (rock music playing) 122 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:22,930 Brian: I'm gonna be fine without you here. 123 00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:25,610 Me and Ricky, we gonna turn it up! 124 00:05:26,610 --> 00:05:28,610 So, what you gonna do with all your old furniture? 125 00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:31,310 - You gonna give it away or...? -Oh, I was gonna leave it for my sister. 126 00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:33,770 - I'm sorry, man. - Pssh! Don't be, okay? 127 00:05:33,780 --> 00:05:36,340 I look like the type of guy that wants hand-me-down furniture? 128 00:05:36,350 --> 00:05:37,920 Uh-uhh! 129 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,390 What you gonna do with all your old clothes? 130 00:05:39,390 --> 00:05:40,990 You gonna give those away? 131 00:05:41,990 --> 00:05:44,730 - (wind gusts) - (ethereal music playing) 132 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,560 I'm coming, Ricky! 133 00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:53,830 (chirping) 134 00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:00,900 (music slows, stops) 135 00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:03,400 - (rock music playing) - Kevin! You guys are still here! 136 00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:06,980 I thought you guys couldn't make it. The finals or whatev... 137 00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:08,880 Quarter regional finals of the semis. 138 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,845 Kicked ass in record speed. Pow, pow! 139 00:06:10,846 --> 00:06:13,470 - (laughs) Yeah. -Couldn't have done it without her. 140 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,320 - She paid my entrance fee. - She... 141 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,080 - Come on, babe, let's dance. - Oh! (laughing) 142 00:06:23,090 --> 00:06:25,090 Whoo! 143 00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:33,390 Mmm! Looks like the quarterback needs a chaperon for the prom. 144 00:06:33,390 --> 00:06:35,050 Hey, get lost! Score some weed! 145 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,400 Kevin! Come on! 146 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,735 Oh, no, no, no. I can't. 147 00:06:41,736 --> 00:06:44,560 Aww! You'll never see any of us ever again! 148 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:49,480 (ballad playing) 149 00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:52,370 So, what's your new job? 150 00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:55,040 Well, it's still in food supply, 151 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:59,540 but... it's a little closer to what I actually want to be doing. 152 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:02,580 Which is...? 153 00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:05,110 - Oh, you wanna hear that too? - (both laugh) 154 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,560 Wow. We are... We are really talking here. 155 00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:12,860 I, uh... 156 00:07:12,860 --> 00:07:16,590 I wanna own like a little hotel or something someday. 157 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,400 You know, the whole hospitality thing. 158 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,700 Well, you'd be so good at that. 159 00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:25,130 I mean, you're always taking care of everyone. 160 00:07:26,630 --> 00:07:29,360 I'm really gonna miss you taking care of me. 161 00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:37,070 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm great. I'm great. 162 00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:40,680 My goodbye party. I'm saying goodbye. 163 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,220 Why wouldn't that be great? 164 00:07:45,220 --> 00:07:47,920 Okay, I'll drop it. 165 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,950 But you know you can tell me things, right? 166 00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:55,010 I mean, we have shared a crappy cubicle wall for three years, after all. 167 00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:58,650 (ballad continues playing) 168 00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:00,060 Audrey... 169 00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:05,590 Actually, there is something I do wanna tell you. 170 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,970 What is it? 171 00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:11,180 Babe, we gotta go, okay? 172 00:08:11,180 --> 00:08:13,800 Your boss is about to hurl and she wants me to hold her hair. 173 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,530 ♪ Hey, what's the news? ♪ 174 00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:19,780 ♪ And who's holding you tonight? ♪ 175 00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:27,510 ♪ Hope he's good to you in time ♪ 176 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,280 Oh! That is why I don't do that. 177 00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:36,290 ♪ I just saw you in a passing parade ♪ 178 00:08:36,290 --> 00:08:37,820 Oh. 179 00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:44,060 Morning! Hi, Kevin. 180 00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:47,560 Hey, buddy. What's up, kid? 181 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:52,160 ♪ And I didn't sign the forms ♪ 182 00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:55,270 ♪ Didn't take the right time ♪ 183 00:08:55,270 --> 00:08:59,570 ♪ 'Cause I couldn't wait that long ♪ 184 00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:02,300 ♪ And if you don't need a rich man ♪ 185 00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:05,780 ♪ Pray tell, for I am here ♪ 186 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,620 Oh boy. 187 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,310 ♪ God's own dumb angel ♪ 188 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:16,220 ♪ God's own dumb angel ♪ 189 00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:19,020 ♪ God's own dumb... ♪ 190 00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:21,250 Roxie: Whoo! I'm here! 191 00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:24,130 Oh...! What happened last night? 192 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:26,090 Oh, I stayed with a guy 193 00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:29,290 who is the cousin of a guy that I dated in high school. 194 00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,200 Well, I mean, I was in high school, 195 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,670 he was just finishing up community college... 196 00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,150 or community service. By the way, those are not the same thing. 197 00:09:37,570 --> 00:09:39,305 Why is your furniture still here? 198 00:09:39,306 --> 00:09:41,760 I was leaving it for you, so you wouldn't have to buy any. 199 00:09:41,770 --> 00:09:45,270 - Oh, that's so super sweet of you. - No, no. 200 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,345 - (both grunt) - But this is the kind of stuff 201 00:09:47,346 --> 00:09:50,940 you leave on the curb, and you see a drunk person passed out on it the next day. 202 00:09:50,950 --> 00:09:54,320 But this drunk person is gonna be passed out on something way nicer. 203 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,790 Roxie, I'm feeling weird about leaving you. 204 00:09:56,790 --> 00:09:59,620 I mean, you're a little too immature to be out here on your own. 205 00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:03,020 - I can't believe Mom is okay with this. - I am very mature, okay? 206 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,890 And when Mom realizes I'm not in my room, I'll text her for sure. 207 00:10:05,890 --> 00:10:07,050 Okay, I'm gonna give her a call. 208 00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:09,160 She wanted to know my flight info anyway. 209 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:12,360 Kev, get on that. God, the poor woman's probably panicked. 210 00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:14,940 - Ooh, hey, from my new company in Italy. - What's wrong with you? 211 00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:17,030 Wait. What? 212 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,740 Canceled? 213 00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:21,710 "Gourmet Couture regrets to inform you 214 00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:23,275 "that unseasonably warm weather 215 00:10:23,276 --> 00:10:25,600 "has adversely affected the truffle crop. 216 00:10:25,610 --> 00:10:27,710 "As such, we no longer need 217 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,700 "a truffle oil and sea salt manager." 218 00:10:32,110 --> 00:10:35,640 But I was gonna be the truffle oil and sea salt manager. 219 00:10:35,650 --> 00:10:36,790 (hip-hop music playing) 220 00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:39,610 I can't believe that job fell through! 221 00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:41,660 Now I have to live with my stupid sister 222 00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:43,790 and beg to get my stupid job back. 223 00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:46,660 Hey, man, at least you get to reunite with your stupid best friend. 224 00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:49,630 - What's up? -I bet Audrey hates me right now. 225 00:10:49,630 --> 00:10:52,665 I got so drunk last night, I probably made a total idiot out of myself. 226 00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:54,190 - Mmm. - You know, it's funny. 227 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,830 I don't know exactly what I did, 228 00:10:55,830 --> 00:10:57,860 but for some reason, I don't feel like 229 00:10:57,870 --> 00:11:01,070 all my feelings for Audrey are all bottled up anymore. 230 00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:03,640 Oh, that's the release that comes from getting a hooker. 231 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,390 It's a very distinct feeling. 232 00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:07,140 It's kinda like a caterpillar coming out of its egg. 233 00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:10,070 I did not get a hooker. I just feel, like, at peace. 234 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,220 You didn't drunk-dial her, did you? 235 00:11:13,410 --> 00:11:15,670 No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. 236 00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:16,910 Please no, please no. 237 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,220 (sighs deeply) Thank God. 238 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:22,020 - No calls. - Okay. 239 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,280 (ominous music playing) 240 00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:33,190 Oh! 241 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,670 Email. "Dear Audrey, 242 00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:45,240 - "I've wanted to get something off my chest." -(chimes) 243 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,810 Die, Smart Type! (grunts) 244 00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:54,080 - (beeps) - (grunts) 245 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,420 We'll do it the old-fashioned way. 246 00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:02,780 (grunts) 247 00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,090 Garbage. 248 00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:10,190 Nobody says that. 249 00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:13,150 (ethereal music playing) 250 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,240 (lid squeaks, clunks) 251 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,070 (hip-hop music playing) 252 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,310 Oh no. 253 00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:37,010 What? 254 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,320 Come on, come on, come on. 255 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,790 Yup. No! My tie. 256 00:12:44,790 --> 00:12:46,260 (shouts angrily) 257 00:12:46,260 --> 00:12:49,160 (tires screech) 258 00:12:53,130 --> 00:12:55,230 I'm sorry, I have to... 259 00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:57,230 Sorry, big fella, just gonna get... 260 00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:59,370 Hi. This can probably wait. Sure. 261 00:12:59,370 --> 00:13:01,130 Hi. Good morning. 262 00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:03,230 I have a mail emergency. 263 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,500 I accidentally mailed a letter to a girl. 264 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:09,270 It was very stupid, I was very drunk, 265 00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:12,070 and I really need to get it back. 266 00:13:16,350 --> 00:13:18,910 Okay. I can tell you are not gonna 267 00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:21,110 help me with this, are you? 268 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,380 Of course I'll help. No problem. 269 00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:26,180 - (truck beeping) -Oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much. 270 00:13:26,190 --> 00:13:28,220 You know, if you don't mind my saying, 271 00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:30,820 you're not like I expected you to be. 272 00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:33,920 Sassy, right? You expected me to be sassy. 273 00:13:33,930 --> 00:13:36,260 Well, not all big, black women 274 00:13:36,260 --> 00:13:40,190 act as if they should play a judge in a Jason Segel movie, right? 275 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,000 I was not thinking... Yes, I was. 276 00:13:44,070 --> 00:13:47,270 - (revving) -No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no! 277 00:13:47,270 --> 00:13:49,410 No! Please stop! 278 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,340 Two more seconds. I... wait, I... 279 00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:58,170 There was another woman here who was gonna help me 280 00:13:58,180 --> 00:14:00,880 find a letter that I accidentally mailed to a girl. 281 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:02,980 Maybe she... Could she come back? 282 00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:06,040 She could. She could even eat a salad for lunch if she wanted, 283 00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:07,380 but she's not going to. 284 00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:09,120 So, why don't you run along, little man? 285 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,860 Oh, next time, just do what the rest of us do... 286 00:14:11,860 --> 00:14:14,230 Text her a pic of your junk. 287 00:14:14,230 --> 00:14:17,000 - You're the sassy one? - Mm-hmm. 288 00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:21,000 Here's my problem... I don't have the $800 289 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,830 that it would take for me to get my car out of your tow yard, so... 290 00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:26,890 Please, sir, don't make me beg. 291 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,470 Let a man keep his dignity. Hello? 292 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,300 - (sighs) -You look weird on that baby bed. 293 00:14:34,310 --> 00:14:36,540 It's not a baby bed. It's a Utenglock Grow-With-Me. 294 00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:38,230 And since you're not giving me my room back, 295 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,800 I had to buy the only thing that would fit out here. 296 00:14:40,810 --> 00:14:42,970 How am I gonna face Audrey at work tomorrow? 297 00:14:42,980 --> 00:14:44,320 Come on, what are you worried about? 298 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,410 She won't even have your lame love letter yet. 299 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,920 Oh my God, you're right. There's no way she would get her mail 300 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,390 before she left for work tomorrow. I can undo this! 301 00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:53,920 I just have to go to her apartment tomorrow 302 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,920 and plead with the mailman to give it to me! 303 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:59,320 After I go into work and plead with Julia to give me my job back. 304 00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:02,030 Okay, Kevin, you're like family. 305 00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:04,500 No, better than family. 306 00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:07,070 - You came to my intervention. - Yes, I did, 307 00:15:07,070 --> 00:15:10,400 and I promise I will... be at the next one. 308 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,260 Mmm. You are saying all the right things. 309 00:15:13,270 --> 00:15:16,000 I'll let you know. 310 00:15:16,010 --> 00:15:19,180 You'll let me know. So, maybe. Okay. Thank you. 311 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,850 (shudders) 312 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,940 (snapping fingers) 313 00:15:26,950 --> 00:15:29,120 Audrey: Kevin? Are you still here? 314 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,120 Aren't you supposed to be in Italy? 315 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:35,020 Yeah, that, uh... that job actually fell through. 316 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:37,450 Oh, Kevin. I'm so sorry. 317 00:15:37,460 --> 00:15:39,890 Don't be, don't be. I don't even really like truffles. 318 00:15:39,890 --> 00:15:41,390 They smell like farts. 319 00:15:44,060 --> 00:15:47,220 Anyway, I think that Julia will probably let me stay 320 00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:50,560 once she sees how committed to the job I am. 321 00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:54,370 I'll see you later. I'm gonna take the rest of the day off. 322 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,870 Whoa! Uh, what are you doing? 323 00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:59,370 I have a horrible headache. Julia said I could go home 324 00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:01,745 if I came in early tomorrow and walked on her back. 325 00:16:01,746 --> 00:16:04,040 No! No, you don't want to do that. 326 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,680 She... flips over in the middle of it. 327 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,640 I'm gonna find you some aspirin. Come on. 328 00:16:08,650 --> 00:16:11,250 Here you go. Feel better, 329 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:14,450 and... and stay... Stay here. 330 00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:16,580 Are you acting like a freak because of me? 331 00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:18,460 Did I do something? 332 00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:20,730 - (people chattering) -(Ricky whispers) Go, go, go, go! 333 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:23,395 - What... What's happening? - Everyone's hiding out. 334 00:16:23,396 --> 00:16:25,450 Julia needs someone to watch her cat this weekend. 335 00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:27,590 - Thanks for the heads up. - It's 23 years old. 336 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,500 You have to do dialysis on it. 337 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,470 - I'm not acting... -Do you have feelings for me, Kevin? 338 00:16:35,470 --> 00:16:36,640 Wait. 339 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,540 What? Do... 340 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,470 Do I have... feelings for you? 341 00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:44,070 Yeah. I didn't think so, 342 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,510 but I promised Brock I'd ask. 343 00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:47,345 Just forget I said anything. 344 00:16:47,346 --> 00:16:49,570 He's... He's being sponsored by a new protein shake, 345 00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:51,480 and it's getting him really revved up. 346 00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:56,120 You trying to steal my girlfriend? 347 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,090 - (grunts) - (people gasp) 348 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,020 What? Is this yours? 349 00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:06,190 - (shouts) I gotta go! - (people gasp) 350 00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:08,160 - (whispers) I'm so sorry. - Really? 351 00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:17,320 - (tires screech) - (honks horn) 352 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,510 Excu... Is that my tie? 353 00:17:28,510 --> 00:17:30,610 Oh, I'll take mine. 2A. 354 00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:34,640 Wait. 2A... that's Audrey Piatigorsky's apartment. 355 00:17:34,650 --> 00:17:36,720 - Who are you? - I need that. That's not yours. 356 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,440 Uh, it is so mine. 357 00:17:38,450 --> 00:17:40,550 I'm her roommate, this is my mail, 358 00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:42,610 and if you take it from me, that's called mail fraud. 359 00:17:42,620 --> 00:17:45,560 - My dad's a lawyer. -Please, I just... I need to see one thing, 360 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,090 and then I will give it back. I promise. 361 00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:48,490 No! You're gonna steal my identity! 362 00:17:48,490 --> 00:17:50,560 My dad's a lawyer! 363 00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:53,420 I'm feeling unsafe. 364 00:17:53,430 --> 00:17:55,700 You give off a very sexual-predator vibe. 365 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,520 Me? No. No, I don't. I said please. 366 00:17:58,530 --> 00:18:00,565 Okay, my dad's a lawyer. I think I know what 367 00:18:00,566 --> 00:18:03,230 a sexual predator is, and you fit the profile... 368 00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:05,290 Aggressive, desperate... 369 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,060 - Attractive. -Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing? 370 00:18:11,070 --> 00:18:13,500 Are you saying you don't want me? 371 00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:17,380 I'm not... I did... I didn't... I'm not... I... 372 00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:20,310 (rock music playing) 373 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,610 It's not just your identity I'm after. 374 00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:28,450 Oh. Give it to me! 375 00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:30,580 - (both moaning) - Oh God! 376 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,420 (grunts) 377 00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:38,220 No, I won't make love with you in my apartment, beast! 378 00:18:38,230 --> 00:18:40,230 - (loud slap) - Aah! 379 00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:42,330 - Did that hurt? - What's the right answer? 380 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,730 Get up! 381 00:18:45,570 --> 00:18:47,140 What are you gonna do? 382 00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:52,760 (vocalizing tune) 383 00:18:55,370 --> 00:18:57,330 I just need some water. 384 00:18:57,340 --> 00:19:00,540 Not too much. I don't want you to spit it up when we get going again. 385 00:19:02,610 --> 00:19:06,570 Oh, and can you bring me one of those 100-calorie Brownie Bite packets? 386 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,210 - Okay. - Oh no, two! 387 00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:09,280 Okay! 388 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,720 (cries) 389 00:19:30,230 --> 00:19:31,390 No, no, no. 390 00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:33,540 Babe? 391 00:19:34,470 --> 00:19:35,640 Kevin. 392 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,470 What are you doing here? 393 00:19:37,470 --> 00:19:38,530 This came for you. 394 00:19:47,410 --> 00:19:49,770 (pop music playing) 395 00:19:54,620 --> 00:19:56,620 Hey, guys. 396 00:19:56,620 --> 00:19:58,480 Have you seen my new boyfriend? 397 00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:01,590 He's cute, blue eyes... or brown eyes, 398 00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:04,490 a little banged up. Looks like a model. 399 00:20:04,490 --> 00:20:07,620 (giggles) I hope I'm pregnant. 400 00:20:07,630 --> 00:20:10,570 ♪ Down to the bottom, 10,000 emerald pools ♪ 401 00:20:10,570 --> 00:20:13,170 Pick up, pick up, pick up, Pick up, pick up, pick up. 402 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,605 - (phone beeps) - Kevin, hi, it's Julia. 403 00:20:15,606 --> 00:20:17,700 Listen, after pulling some strings... 404 00:20:17,710 --> 00:20:19,610 and a zipper or two... (laughs) 405 00:20:19,610 --> 00:20:21,710 Just kidding, that wasn't for you... 406 00:20:21,710 --> 00:20:23,380 I was able to get your job back. 407 00:20:23,380 --> 00:20:25,290 So, congrats. 408 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,210 You can hit the ground running on the Dryerson account, 409 00:20:27,210 --> 00:20:30,640 starting Saturday morning at 6:00 a.m. 410 00:20:30,650 --> 00:20:32,620 (Julia laughs) 411 00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:35,620 ♪ Dive down deeper, still ♪ 412 00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:39,620 ♪ All I need is you ♪ 413 00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:42,390 ♪ You're all I need to breathe ♪ 414 00:20:42,390 --> 00:20:47,460 - ♪ All I need is you ♪ - (phone chiming) 415 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:50,270 ♪ I make a living ♪ 416 00:20:50,270 --> 00:20:53,400 ♪ Trying to get away ♪ 417 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,300 ♪ 10,000 fathoms ♪ 418 00:20:57,310 --> 00:20:59,440 - ♪ Under a tidal wave ♪ - (chiming continues) 419 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,910 (Roxie laughing) 420 00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:02,850 Man: You don't have a kid, do you? 421 00:21:02,850 --> 00:21:05,300 I saw that baby bed out there. 422 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:14,720 ♪ No way! ♪ 423 00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:17,610 Kevin's voice: "Dear Audrey, 424 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,530 "I know you don't think about me in a special way 425 00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:22,920 "or at all, but I think about you... 426 00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:24,530 "all the time. 427 00:21:24,530 --> 00:21:27,270 "You're perfect and beautiful and smart 428 00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:29,930 and funny and perfect." 429 00:21:29,930 --> 00:21:34,500 - Hey, babe. - ♪ All I need is you ♪ 430 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,930 ♪ You're all I need to breathe ♪ 431 00:21:36,940 --> 00:21:40,740 Kevin: "And one more thing... I'm in love with you." 432 00:21:40,740 --> 00:21:43,800 ♪ You're all I need to breathe ♪ 433 00:21:43,810 --> 00:21:48,310 "Madly, completely-consumes- my-life in love with you." 434 00:21:48,310 --> 00:21:50,240 ♪ You're all I need to breathe ♪ 435 00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:51,720 ♪ Dive in deeper ♪ 436 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,650 "So, have a great life, Audrey. 437 00:21:54,650 --> 00:21:57,280 "And maybe in the next one, we'll meet again 438 00:21:57,290 --> 00:22:01,460 "and I won't be scared to say what I feel and do what I want. 439 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,590 And I'd want you." 440 00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:07,820 ♪ All I need is you ♪ 441 00:22:07,830 --> 00:22:09,700 ♪ It can never pull me away ♪ 442 00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:12,770 "And this time, I'd be the guy who gets you." 443 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,700 ♪ Time is standing still ♪ 444 00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:18,400 "Until then... 445 00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:21,580 "Kevin from work." 34548

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