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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,459 --> 00:00:03,003 MOSFILM 2 00:00:18,058 --> 00:00:22,396 AN ExPERIMENTAL ARTISTIC ASSOCIATION PRESENTS 3 00:00:22,687 --> 00:00:24,773 A NON-SCIENCE-FICTION, NOT QUITE REALISTIC 4 00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:27,901 AND NOT STRICTLY HISTORICAL FILM 5 00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:31,904 BASED ON M. BULGAKOV'S PLAY "IVAN VASSILYEVICH" 6 00:00:32,113 --> 00:00:37,368 IVAN VASSILYEVICH CHANGES OCCUPATION 7 00:00:38,077 --> 00:00:41,330 Written by V. BAKHNOV, L. GAIDAl 8 00:00:41,621 --> 00:00:44,416 Directed by L. GAIDAl 9 00:00:44,749 --> 00:00:47,627 Directors of Photography S. POLUYANOV, V. ABRAMOV 10 00:00:47,919 --> 00:00:50,004 Production Designer Ye. KUMANKOV 11 00:00:50,505 --> 00:00:52,590 Music by A. ZATSEPIN 12 00:01:21,033 --> 00:01:23,660 Starring 13 00:01:25,537 --> 00:01:31,250 YURI YAKOVLEV LEONID KURAVLYOV 14 00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:38,382 ALExANDER DEMYANENKO SAVELY KRAMAROV 15 00:01:39,508 --> 00:01:45,930 NATALYA SELEZNYOVA NATALYA BELOGORTSEVA-KRACHKOVSKAYA 16 00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:53,562 NATALYA KUSTINSKAYA VLADIMIR ETUSH 17 00:01:54,688 --> 00:02:00,485 MIKHAIL PUGOVKIN SERGEY FILIPPOV, and others 18 00:03:01,875 --> 00:03:06,671 Long live Tsar Boris Fyodorovich! 19 00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:14,512 Long live our father, our tsar! 20 00:03:14,887 --> 00:03:16,931 Glory! 21 00:04:11,689 --> 00:04:13,190 Damn! 22 00:04:16,026 --> 00:04:19,154 Hey, what's the matter? No electricity again! 23 00:04:19,363 --> 00:04:23,366 It's outrageous! Timofeyev has burned the fuses again! 24 00:04:25,243 --> 00:04:28,538 - Comrade Timofeyev, when will it end? - I'm finishing. 25 00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:31,582 When will be the end of your experiments 26 00:04:31,791 --> 00:04:34,418 which leave our whole building without electricity? 27 00:04:34,585 --> 00:04:35,920 There you go. 28 00:04:36,629 --> 00:04:40,757 Ivan Vassilyevich, if you knew what an important invention 29 00:04:41,008 --> 00:04:43,385 I'm working on, you wouldn't have said that. 30 00:04:43,844 --> 00:04:46,638 Experiments with electricity should be done at your office, 31 00:04:47,013 --> 00:04:51,809 and at home electricity must be used only for peacefuI, domestic purposes! 32 00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:54,020 How many times did I tell you... 33 00:04:54,437 --> 00:04:58,148 I'm on leave, so I work at home. And anyway, my experiments are safe. 34 00:04:58,524 --> 00:05:01,777 As the public representative, I demand that you stop it! 35 00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:05,905 Today you've burned the fuses, tomorrow you'll burn the house! 36 00:05:07,448 --> 00:05:08,449 STUPID 37 00:05:08,616 --> 00:05:11,202 And what is this? 38 00:05:11,369 --> 00:05:13,371 You see? That's the result. Pah! 39 00:05:15,372 --> 00:05:19,001 I'll need to raise the voltage. 40 00:05:19,543 --> 00:05:24,214 Dangerous! Of course, it's dangerous, but, as they say, nothing ventured... 41 00:06:07,545 --> 00:06:13,134 Your only love is not so easily found. 42 00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:19,139 Our planet's turning, round and round. 43 00:06:19,848 --> 00:06:25,520 The planet's flying in everyday beat. 44 00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:31,943 It's very hard to fall in love on it. 45 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:37,072 A winter blizzard is raging, 46 00:06:37,239 --> 00:06:40,075 And thunderstorms are blazing, 47 00:06:40,284 --> 00:06:45,914 And stars in the sky are racing, and cities din in the rain. 48 00:06:46,456 --> 00:06:49,125 And people don't see each other, 49 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:52,253 They just pass by each other, 50 00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:55,506 They always lose each other, 51 00:06:55,756 --> 00:06:59,885 Never to find again. 52 00:07:01,178 --> 00:07:06,808 But there's somewhere my only love, 53 00:07:07,725 --> 00:07:09,352 My unforgettable, 54 00:07:10,019 --> 00:07:13,105 My true big love. 55 00:07:13,522 --> 00:07:16,442 I look for it, 56 00:07:16,692 --> 00:07:19,194 But in everyday beat 57 00:07:19,778 --> 00:07:24,866 It's hard for us to meet. 58 00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:30,788 A winter blizzard is raging, 59 00:07:31,122 --> 00:07:33,833 And thunderstorms are blazing, 60 00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:36,377 And stars in the sky are racing, 61 00:07:36,919 --> 00:07:40,088 And cities din in the rain. 62 00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:43,258 And people don't see each other, 63 00:07:43,508 --> 00:07:46,344 They just pass by each other, 64 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:49,013 They always lose each other, 65 00:07:49,430 --> 00:07:55,019 Never to find again. 66 00:07:55,769 --> 00:07:58,313 Never to find again. 67 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:20,876 I can imagine what's going to happen! 68 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,253 I hope we can avoid a scandaI! 69 00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:26,297 Those scandals are so tiresome. 70 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,217 I was divorced three times. 71 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:33,262 Yes, that's right, three times. Zyuzin doesn't count. 72 00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:36,015 I've never been as nervous as today. 73 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,227 Well, I'm going to do it! 74 00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:43,688 Oh, Shurik! 75 00:08:44,397 --> 00:08:46,983 Your apparatus is going to kill you! 76 00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:51,028 My apparatus, Zinochka, will make me famous. And you, too. 77 00:08:51,696 --> 00:08:52,738 Really? 78 00:08:55,574 --> 00:08:57,534 I'm sorry to bother you, 79 00:08:57,743 --> 00:09:01,872 but I have terrible news for you. 80 00:09:05,041 --> 00:09:07,627 My gloves have been stolen from me today. 81 00:09:08,253 --> 00:09:11,422 And I fell in love with another man. Do you understand, Shurik? 82 00:09:11,797 --> 00:09:16,468 - Yes, your gloves. What about them? - Forget the gloves. I love another man. 83 00:09:16,677 --> 00:09:19,388 Well, it's done! 84 00:09:19,596 --> 00:09:22,307 Only, please, no objections, and don't make scenes! 85 00:09:23,308 --> 00:09:25,810 What? Are you asking who is the man? 86 00:09:26,102 --> 00:09:30,481 You probably think it's Molchanovsky? No, you're wrong. 87 00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:33,192 Zupperman? Wrong again. 88 00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:36,111 All right! Let's not beat about the bushes. 89 00:09:36,362 --> 00:09:39,490 He is... film director Yakin. 90 00:09:40,574 --> 00:09:42,576 Well, well, well. 91 00:09:45,578 --> 00:09:49,791 It's strange though. It happens for the first time in my life. 92 00:09:50,124 --> 00:09:54,503 The man is told that his wife is leaving him, and he says, well, well. 93 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:57,172 At the very least, it's impolite. 94 00:09:57,381 --> 00:10:01,134 You mean that tall, blond man? 95 00:10:01,593 --> 00:10:05,722 Unbelievable! To show so little interest in his own wife! 96 00:10:06,181 --> 00:10:10,143 The blond one is Molchanovsky. Can't you remember it? Molchanovsky. 97 00:10:10,351 --> 00:10:13,979 And Yakin is... Yakin is very talented! 98 00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:17,566 What? You ask where we're going to live? 99 00:10:18,901 --> 00:10:22,779 Today we're leaving for Gagry to look for the film's location. 100 00:10:22,946 --> 00:10:27,408 And later, he will be given a flat. Of course, if he's not Iying. 101 00:10:29,035 --> 00:10:30,661 Sure, he is Iying! 102 00:10:31,454 --> 00:10:33,497 Oh, all this is so ridiculous! 103 00:10:33,664 --> 00:10:36,333 To insult a man because you're jealous! 104 00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:39,920 He can't be Iying every minute! 105 00:10:42,130 --> 00:10:45,592 During my many sleepless nights, I've been thinking, 106 00:10:46,009 --> 00:10:51,013 and I came to the conclusion that we're no match for each other. 107 00:10:51,222 --> 00:10:55,851 Can't you understand, Alexander, that I live in the world of cinema, of art! 108 00:10:59,605 --> 00:11:02,858 But your calmness just amazes me! 109 00:11:03,066 --> 00:11:07,987 You know, Shurik, I even feeI like making a scene. 110 00:11:09,322 --> 00:11:11,115 - No, don't do it. - You think so? 111 00:11:11,282 --> 00:11:13,034 - I'm sure. - A-ha. 112 00:11:15,202 --> 00:11:17,037 Goodbye, Shurik. 113 00:11:21,124 --> 00:11:25,712 But don't canceI my house registration. Who knows what might happen. 114 00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:32,593 Alexander Sergeyevich! 115 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,012 Please, tell Zinaida Mikhailovna that Rozalia Frantsevna said 116 00:11:35,179 --> 00:11:38,807 that Kapitolina Nikiforovna offered Anna Ivanovna a fur coat... 117 00:11:39,016 --> 00:11:41,935 Zinaida Mikhailovna has left. 118 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,145 - Where for? - With her lover. 119 00:11:44,354 --> 00:11:47,649 What do you mean, with her lover? And you're so calm about it? 120 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:52,028 - You're a very strange man. - Excuse me, I'm very busy. 121 00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:55,823 You are some character! 122 00:11:55,990 --> 00:11:59,660 If I were your wife, I would have left, too. 123 00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:03,580 If you were my wife, I would have hanged myself. 124 00:12:05,749 --> 00:12:06,750 You jerk! 125 00:12:08,668 --> 00:12:11,420 Is that the dentaI clinic? Hallo? 126 00:12:11,629 --> 00:12:13,839 Extension 3-62? 127 00:12:16,925 --> 00:12:23,723 May I speak to Anton Shpak, please? 128 00:12:26,309 --> 00:12:27,810 Anton, that's for you. 129 00:12:27,977 --> 00:12:31,230 - Who's calling? - A woman. 130 00:12:31,981 --> 00:12:33,733 Keep your mouth open. 131 00:12:34,817 --> 00:12:36,318 Speaking. 132 00:12:36,527 --> 00:12:41,948 Anton Semyonovich? Hello. At what time do you finish today? 133 00:12:42,491 --> 00:12:48,663 I'm an actress. No, you don't know me, but I'm dying to meet you. 134 00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:59,590 So you work untiI four? I'll call again, I'm very persistent. 135 00:13:00,173 --> 00:13:01,633 I'm looking forward to it! 136 00:13:05,011 --> 00:13:06,930 Well, let's continue. 137 00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,571 A.S. Shpak 138 00:13:43,922 --> 00:13:46,174 How lucky for me to drop by! 139 00:14:20,414 --> 00:14:25,585 Folks, keep your money in a bank! 140 00:14:25,794 --> 00:14:27,962 Naturally, if you have it! 141 00:14:28,213 --> 00:14:31,215 What do you care about my relations with my wife? 142 00:14:31,382 --> 00:14:35,094 It's none of your business whether we're divorcing or not. 143 00:14:35,302 --> 00:14:37,721 That's our personaI matter. 144 00:14:37,888 --> 00:14:42,601 No, that's a public matter. Your divorces lower our indices. 145 00:14:42,809 --> 00:14:47,147 - What do You want from me? - Wait untiI the end of the quarter. 146 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,941 Then you may divorce as much as you like. 147 00:14:50,233 --> 00:14:54,445 When you're talking, Ivan Vassilyevich, it looks like a raving. 148 00:14:55,237 --> 00:14:57,239 What do you mean? 149 00:14:57,406 --> 00:15:00,117 And about your suspicious machine. 150 00:15:00,284 --> 00:15:03,120 I'm asking you to file an application. 151 00:15:03,328 --> 00:15:06,247 Do it, or we'll file a complaint. 152 00:15:06,414 --> 00:15:10,877 Wait. Wait! There's nothing suspicious about my apparatus. 153 00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:13,754 I simply invented a time machine. 154 00:15:14,004 --> 00:15:18,092 In other words, I can run through space and go back to the past. 155 00:15:18,509 --> 00:15:20,552 - Go back to the past? - Yes, to the past. 156 00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:22,929 These experiments, Alexander, 157 00:15:23,138 --> 00:15:26,599 can be done only by permission of the appropriate authorities. 158 00:15:26,766 --> 00:15:30,645 Wait, Ivan Vassilyevich. This apparatus can be very usefuI. 159 00:15:30,853 --> 00:15:32,480 Let me explain. 160 00:15:34,732 --> 00:15:35,941 That's it! 161 00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:09,694 And now we're going to test the time machine. 162 00:17:10,027 --> 00:17:12,780 You're witnessing a historic event. 163 00:17:13,114 --> 00:17:16,200 First, we'll try a close distance. 164 00:17:16,867 --> 00:17:21,121 Look, we're going to run through space. 165 00:18:03,702 --> 00:18:05,245 - Did You see it? - What? 166 00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:07,872 - You see? - What is it? 167 00:18:08,873 --> 00:18:10,750 What happened? 168 00:18:11,334 --> 00:18:14,462 Alexander Sergeyevich, where is the wall? 169 00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:18,298 What is it? What's going on? There was a wall here! 170 00:18:18,549 --> 00:18:22,969 Timofeyev, you will answer for it in court. Inventing such a machine! 171 00:18:23,386 --> 00:18:25,930 Go to hell with your wall! 172 00:18:26,097 --> 00:18:28,683 - Half a flat has vanished. - No big deaI. 173 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:31,894 What do you mean, no big deaI? 174 00:18:45,699 --> 00:18:49,786 I've seen some technicaI wonders, but nothing like that. 175 00:18:53,039 --> 00:18:57,292 - Excuse me, and who are you? - Are you asking who I am? 176 00:18:57,501 --> 00:19:00,587 - I'm a friend of Anton Shpak. - And what are you doing in his flat? 177 00:19:00,921 --> 00:19:02,631 What am I doing? 178 00:19:03,006 --> 00:19:04,758 I'm waiting for my friend. 179 00:19:05,091 --> 00:19:08,219 And how did you get into his flat if he's not here? 180 00:19:08,386 --> 00:19:11,347 Oh, go to hell! What kind of questions are those? 181 00:19:14,642 --> 00:19:19,354 Never mind. I've gone through time. I've made it! 182 00:19:19,771 --> 00:19:22,858 Tell me, can you lift any wall like that? 183 00:19:23,024 --> 00:19:24,109 A wall?! 184 00:19:24,317 --> 00:19:26,444 Your invention is invaluable. 185 00:19:26,694 --> 00:19:28,738 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 186 00:19:31,115 --> 00:19:35,369 Why are you staring at me? There're no pictures, nor flowers growing on me. 187 00:19:35,536 --> 00:19:40,749 You're wearing the same imported suede jacket as Shpak does. 188 00:19:40,958 --> 00:19:43,960 Really? Ajacket? A suede jacket? 189 00:19:44,419 --> 00:19:48,172 Is Shpak the only one in Moscow who has a suede jacket? 190 00:19:48,423 --> 00:19:50,341 What is your name? 191 00:19:51,425 --> 00:19:55,387 I'm an artiste of all big and small academic theatres. 192 00:19:55,554 --> 00:20:00,684 And my name is too famous to pronounce it. 193 00:20:00,892 --> 00:20:04,437 Do you want to get back to Shpak's room? I can open the wall for you. 194 00:20:04,646 --> 00:20:06,689 I'd better take a look at your machine. 195 00:20:06,898 --> 00:20:09,817 - I like it. - I'm very glad! 196 00:20:10,026 --> 00:20:12,236 You're my first witness. 197 00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:15,447 It's my first time being a witness. 198 00:20:16,407 --> 00:20:20,160 Why are you staring? You're going to rub a hole through me with your eyes. 199 00:20:20,702 --> 00:20:23,538 Do you realize what you have just seen? 200 00:20:23,747 --> 00:20:25,790 You bet! But tell me... 201 00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:31,712 Can you lift a wall like that in a store? 202 00:20:32,129 --> 00:20:35,966 - My, what a usefuI invention! - You came to Shapk's with a recorder? 203 00:20:36,175 --> 00:20:38,218 Forget the wall. 204 00:20:38,427 --> 00:20:42,722 The most important thing is that through walls I can pierce space. 205 00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:48,228 I can enter time. I can go 200, 300 years back! 206 00:20:49,854 --> 00:20:52,773 You have ignored my question about the tape recorder. 207 00:20:52,982 --> 00:20:55,025 Darn you! 208 00:20:55,234 --> 00:21:01,114 What a machine! A breakthrough in science and technology! Darn you again! 209 00:21:01,323 --> 00:21:04,618 I can't wait! Let's go back into the past 210 00:21:04,993 --> 00:21:07,287 and see the ancient Moscow! 211 00:21:08,538 --> 00:21:10,915 What are you saying, Timofeyev? 212 00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:14,502 Before seeing the ancient Moscow, get a permission from the authorities! 213 00:21:14,710 --> 00:21:16,086 Just a minute! 214 00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:21,133 If you mess again with the academic's tests and stop technologicaI progress... 215 00:21:21,383 --> 00:21:24,344 - I'm going to... - Calm down! Calm down! I got it. 216 00:21:25,011 --> 00:21:26,012 Do it. 217 00:21:28,306 --> 00:21:31,392 - I'm so nervous. - Don't chicken! I'm here! 218 00:22:20,729 --> 00:22:22,856 ...to the heavenly abode... 219 00:22:23,565 --> 00:22:26,484 ...to the Reverend Father Superior, Kuzma... 220 00:22:27,068 --> 00:22:28,736 Kuzma... 221 00:22:29,070 --> 00:22:32,156 the Tsar and Grand Duke of all Russia... 222 00:22:32,323 --> 00:22:35,826 Of all Russia... 223 00:22:36,327 --> 00:22:38,829 is bowing low. 224 00:22:44,334 --> 00:22:46,294 Go on writing. 225 00:22:47,670 --> 00:22:52,049 Look! That's Ivan the Terrible! 226 00:22:52,550 --> 00:22:54,218 You're kidding! 227 00:23:01,892 --> 00:23:03,768 Mamma mia! 228 00:23:10,399 --> 00:23:13,152 The demons! The demons! 229 00:23:13,903 --> 00:23:15,446 The demons! 230 00:23:18,198 --> 00:23:19,992 Away! Stay away! 231 00:23:22,619 --> 00:23:26,915 Woe is me, the sinner! Woe is me, cursed murderer! 232 00:23:27,123 --> 00:23:29,125 The eviI spirit! 233 00:23:29,417 --> 00:23:33,170 - Wait! Where are you going? Wait! - Go away, vanish, eviI spirit! 234 00:23:48,810 --> 00:23:51,771 - Who are You calling? - The police. 235 00:23:51,938 --> 00:23:56,692 - Put down the phone. - What? What do you mean? 236 00:23:57,067 --> 00:24:00,445 - The phone! Put down the phone! - Why? I won't! 237 00:24:00,654 --> 00:24:03,156 Put down the phone, I say! 238 00:24:03,406 --> 00:24:05,408 - Easy! Easy! - I'll crush you, big hat! 239 00:24:05,575 --> 00:24:07,744 Where are the demons? 240 00:24:18,462 --> 00:24:19,546 Get them! 241 00:24:39,439 --> 00:24:41,316 Wait! Wait! 242 00:25:34,073 --> 00:25:38,410 They've bricked me up! They've bricked me up, the demons! 243 00:25:43,039 --> 00:25:45,834 That's what the life-giving cross can do! 244 00:26:08,062 --> 00:26:09,897 And where's the tsar? 245 00:26:13,818 --> 00:26:15,611 You shouldn't drink so much. 246 00:26:29,832 --> 00:26:31,834 Where are they? 247 00:26:33,627 --> 00:26:35,129 Hurry! Move it! 248 00:26:51,477 --> 00:26:53,354 Why are they yelling? 249 00:26:53,521 --> 00:26:56,357 They cannot yell. They're all dead. 250 00:27:02,904 --> 00:27:05,281 See how those dead can shoot? 251 00:27:05,490 --> 00:27:08,201 - Open up, dog! - Whom is he addressing? 252 00:27:08,409 --> 00:27:11,454 - You. - Me?! 253 00:27:42,482 --> 00:27:46,778 Oh, I feeI so bad! Bespeak again, aren't you a demon? 254 00:27:46,945 --> 00:27:49,906 I told you already. I'm not a demon! 255 00:27:50,114 --> 00:27:53,034 Don't dare Iying to me! You're Iying to a tsar! 256 00:27:53,326 --> 00:27:57,121 Not by human wish, but by God's will, am I the tsar! 257 00:27:57,287 --> 00:28:00,249 Very well! I see that you're a tsar... 258 00:28:00,457 --> 00:28:04,628 Alas, alas, I'm the tsar Ivan Vassilyevich! 259 00:28:05,295 --> 00:28:08,381 Send me back, magician! 260 00:28:08,548 --> 00:28:11,842 I cannot! You see, because of this pole-axe! 261 00:28:13,886 --> 00:28:16,305 Thank you! The transistors have burned, 262 00:28:16,639 --> 00:28:20,058 so I cannot send you back untiI I buy the new ones. 263 00:28:20,892 --> 00:28:24,938 - Buy them, then. - The stores are closed for lunch. 264 00:28:25,230 --> 00:28:28,066 Oh, woe is me! 265 00:28:28,233 --> 00:28:32,278 - Take it easy, Ivan Vassilyevich! - Oh, woe is me! 266 00:28:33,779 --> 00:28:37,533 - do You drink vodka? - Yes, the anise one! 267 00:28:37,741 --> 00:28:38,784 Good. 268 00:28:39,910 --> 00:28:42,162 Unfortunately, there's no anise vodka. 269 00:28:45,457 --> 00:28:49,377 I say, there's no anise vodka, only Stolichnaya! 270 00:28:52,171 --> 00:28:53,506 Drink it! 271 00:28:54,256 --> 00:28:57,343 - Taste it from My cup. - Why? 272 00:28:57,551 --> 00:28:59,303 Go on, taste it... 273 00:29:00,095 --> 00:29:02,931 You think I want to poison you? 274 00:29:03,890 --> 00:29:06,184 We don't do that any more, 275 00:29:06,351 --> 00:29:09,729 and in our day, you'd sooner get poisoned with canned food, than vodka. 276 00:29:09,896 --> 00:29:11,063 Don't be afraid, drink up! 277 00:29:13,482 --> 00:29:16,277 - Let you be healthy, Boyar! - Your health! 278 00:29:20,322 --> 00:29:24,534 - Was it your housekeeper Who made it? - Let's suppose so. Eat something! 279 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,588 - Who made this machine? You? - Yes. 280 00:29:38,005 --> 00:29:41,717 I had a man like you. He made wings. 281 00:29:42,092 --> 00:29:43,593 - Well? - What do you mean, well? 282 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,971 I put him on a gun-powder barreI. It made him fly! Ha-ha! 283 00:29:47,805 --> 00:29:49,724 Why did you do it? 284 00:29:49,891 --> 00:29:52,977 No, no. I don't drink. I don't drink, Ivan Vassilyevich. Thank you. 285 00:29:53,227 --> 00:29:55,604 - Don't you have any respect for me? - For God's sake, Ivan Vassilyevich! 286 00:29:55,813 --> 00:29:59,274 - Then drink. - Just a little. Enough! Enough! 287 00:30:00,859 --> 00:30:04,571 - Well, be healthy! - Your health! 288 00:30:10,701 --> 00:30:13,079 So, you live here? 289 00:30:13,454 --> 00:30:17,499 - Well, very cramped quarters. - Sure, it's not like tsar's chambers. 290 00:30:17,875 --> 00:30:20,961 - Yes, that's right. - Anyway, it's an individuaI flat. 291 00:30:21,211 --> 00:30:24,089 And your woman, is she at church? 292 00:30:24,339 --> 00:30:29,135 My woman eloped today with her lover, Yakin, to the Caucasus. 293 00:30:29,302 --> 00:30:31,679 You are kidding?! Did you send men to catch them? 294 00:30:32,305 --> 00:30:36,725 When they catch them, first thing have Yakin impaled, and then... 295 00:30:36,976 --> 00:30:39,895 Why? They're in love with each other. 296 00:30:40,145 --> 00:30:43,273 I wish them every happiness. 297 00:30:47,735 --> 00:30:50,947 How kind you are! 298 00:30:51,614 --> 00:30:53,657 Oh, God! What's going on? 299 00:30:54,033 --> 00:30:57,619 I sit here, while the Swedes are taking Kem there. 300 00:30:57,786 --> 00:31:00,872 Send me back, Boyar. 301 00:31:01,081 --> 00:31:04,668 Go and buy those transistors. 302 00:31:05,460 --> 00:31:06,795 Just a minute. 303 00:31:10,923 --> 00:31:14,427 I'm busy. Call me later. 304 00:31:15,177 --> 00:31:17,221 - I'm going with you. - Right onto the street? 305 00:31:17,429 --> 00:31:20,223 No, Ivan Vassilyevich, wait for me here. 306 00:31:20,390 --> 00:31:23,643 Hurry up, though, Boyar! 307 00:31:23,852 --> 00:31:27,021 I'm in a hurry myself. I must rescue those two, as well. 308 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,565 What's going to happen to them? 309 00:31:29,774 --> 00:31:32,902 - They'll be beheaded, that's all. - That's all? 310 00:31:33,361 --> 00:31:35,404 To hell with them! 311 00:31:45,663 --> 00:31:47,332 Take the demons alive! 312 00:32:58,147 --> 00:32:59,565 Wait! 313 00:34:49,749 --> 00:34:51,042 Eureka! 314 00:34:52,335 --> 00:34:54,378 The tsar's garb! 315 00:34:55,045 --> 00:34:58,674 Put them on. You'll be the tsar! 316 00:34:59,258 --> 00:35:00,425 No way! 317 00:35:01,218 --> 00:35:03,303 Put them on, or I'll kill you! 318 00:36:13,909 --> 00:36:17,496 Talk to me, my dear guitar, 319 00:36:17,830 --> 00:36:20,457 My friend of seven strings. 320 00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:24,210 All my heart is open ajar, 321 00:36:25,170 --> 00:36:28,131 And the night with moonlight sings. 322 00:36:28,423 --> 00:36:32,385 Well, once, then another time, 323 00:36:32,635 --> 00:36:36,972 And again many, many, many times. 324 00:36:37,848 --> 00:36:43,228 Yes, once and again, and again many, many times. 325 00:36:43,812 --> 00:36:50,234 Blue cornflowers in the field, A long path lies ahead. 326 00:36:51,777 --> 00:36:57,991 My heart is torn between the guilt And the stars unread. 327 00:36:58,575 --> 00:37:01,745 Well, once, then another time, 328 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:06,458 And again many, many, many times. 329 00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:12,546 Yes, once and again, and again many, many times. 330 00:37:13,714 --> 00:37:17,134 - Well, how do I look? - Not like him! You're a fake! 331 00:37:17,343 --> 00:37:21,263 Let me tie up your teeth at least. You're a pain in the neck! 332 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:29,562 - the other tsar looks smarter. - Don't get personaI, please! 333 00:37:32,648 --> 00:37:35,693 Sit down! Occupy yourself with matters of state. 334 00:37:35,901 --> 00:37:37,820 Take the stick. 335 00:37:38,112 --> 00:37:40,280 - Go ahead, dictate. - Dictate what? 336 00:37:40,781 --> 00:37:43,241 The tsar, repeat it, of all Russia... 337 00:37:43,450 --> 00:37:45,493 The tsar, repeat it, of all Russia... 338 00:37:45,869 --> 00:37:48,246 Don't repeat "repeat it"! Quiet! 339 00:37:53,209 --> 00:37:56,754 So you say: "The tsar and Grand Duke..." 340 00:37:58,130 --> 00:38:00,799 I wrote it, comma. 341 00:38:01,591 --> 00:38:04,094 Where the hell is our secretary? 342 00:38:05,428 --> 00:38:07,388 What's up, comrades? 343 00:38:08,181 --> 00:38:11,225 I'm asking you, what's up? 344 00:38:17,439 --> 00:38:22,944 Who's that parasite who dared to break the door in the tsar's quarters? 345 00:38:23,153 --> 00:38:26,781 Did they put it here for you to break it? 346 00:38:30,118 --> 00:38:35,915 Go on, Your Majesty! "... is bowing low...", semicolon. 347 00:38:38,041 --> 00:38:41,128 I'm waiting for the answer to my question! 348 00:38:41,336 --> 00:38:46,341 The tsar! The tsar's here! He's here! 349 00:38:47,675 --> 00:38:49,469 The tsar's here! 350 00:38:50,011 --> 00:38:51,554 Sit! 351 00:38:52,054 --> 00:38:54,849 Where else can he be? The tsar's in his place! 352 00:38:55,349 --> 00:38:58,060 Have mercy, don't put me to death, our kind sire! 353 00:38:58,310 --> 00:39:02,189 The demons grabbed you, we chased them all over the palace! 354 00:39:02,397 --> 00:39:05,734 And, suddenly, the demons vanished! 355 00:39:06,109 --> 00:39:09,946 They were there, we don't deny it. But they self-destructed. 356 00:39:10,363 --> 00:39:13,908 Please, stop this ridiculous panic! Who are you? 357 00:39:14,867 --> 00:39:18,996 I'm Theophanes, a clerk at the foreign office. 358 00:39:19,329 --> 00:39:21,790 All right, Fedya. You may stay here. 359 00:39:21,998 --> 00:39:26,419 The rest, please, leave the tsar's office. In other words, out! 360 00:39:27,545 --> 00:39:29,422 Bark at them! 361 00:39:29,672 --> 00:39:31,465 Out! 362 00:39:37,763 --> 00:39:39,806 Have mercy, Sire! 363 00:39:40,015 --> 00:39:43,268 Stop your somersaults! You did it once, you did it twice. It's enough. 364 00:39:45,812 --> 00:39:47,855 What's the matter with you, Sire? 365 00:39:51,567 --> 00:39:53,319 Have you taken ill? 366 00:39:55,196 --> 00:39:58,323 Don't sit like a dummy! I can't work here all alone! 367 00:39:59,324 --> 00:40:00,951 I've got a toothache. 368 00:40:01,368 --> 00:40:03,495 He's got periostitis, a gumboiI. 369 00:40:03,995 --> 00:40:06,164 - And you stop pestering the tsar! - Yes, sir. 370 00:40:06,331 --> 00:40:10,042 Fedya, enough of your bowing! Are you going to fall like that all night? 371 00:40:12,628 --> 00:40:16,006 - Nice to meet You. - Don't be angry, Boyar... 372 00:40:16,215 --> 00:40:19,468 but I don't recognize you. Are you a prince? 373 00:40:19,676 --> 00:40:23,388 Me? Well, I might be. What so strange about it? 374 00:40:24,973 --> 00:40:28,726 How do you happen to be in the tsar's quarters? You weren't here before. 375 00:40:29,769 --> 00:40:34,273 - Oh, Sire, who is he? - He's a friend of Anton Shpak's. 376 00:40:34,815 --> 00:40:36,400 What a fooI! 377 00:40:38,485 --> 00:40:42,739 The tsar says that I'm Prince Miloslavsky. Are you satisfied? 378 00:40:43,698 --> 00:40:47,243 - Oh my! Stay away! - What's the matter? What is it? 379 00:40:47,410 --> 00:40:51,122 - You've been executed! - That's news to me! 380 00:40:52,039 --> 00:40:57,795 By the tsar's order, you were hanged on your own gate three days ago. 381 00:41:04,592 --> 00:41:08,179 Well, thanks! I was hanged by your order. 382 00:41:08,554 --> 00:41:10,973 Help me out, or we'll screw it. 383 00:41:11,474 --> 00:41:13,809 Why don't you say something, bastard? 384 00:41:14,101 --> 00:41:17,855 Oh, now I remember! It was not I who was hanged. 385 00:41:18,147 --> 00:41:20,649 What was his first name, the one whom they hanged? 386 00:41:20,857 --> 00:41:24,194 - Vanka the Robber. - You see? And I'm George. 387 00:41:24,361 --> 00:41:28,031 That bandit was just my namesake. Am I right? 388 00:41:28,364 --> 00:41:30,408 Am I right? 389 00:41:30,616 --> 00:41:32,410 Please... 390 00:41:34,578 --> 00:41:37,664 Why are they shouting there? Fedya, go and find out. 391 00:41:37,831 --> 00:41:39,041 Yes, sir. 392 00:41:41,043 --> 00:41:45,296 The tsar! The tsar! 393 00:41:46,381 --> 00:41:50,301 Go! Go! Score! Score! 394 00:41:50,551 --> 00:41:55,014 The common people wish to see their tsar who was saved. They're rejoicing. 395 00:41:55,181 --> 00:41:57,307 Oh, no, it's out of the question. 396 00:41:57,599 --> 00:42:00,602 We have no time for that. We'll rejoice later. 397 00:42:04,189 --> 00:42:07,025 They have to be sent away at once, understand? 398 00:42:09,444 --> 00:42:11,279 Still wouldn't say anything, damn him! 399 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:17,576 - Fedya, I hope there's no war going? - Of course, there is, my benefactor. 400 00:42:18,035 --> 00:42:21,913 The Swedes are biting us, the Khan of Crimea plays nasty on Izyum Road. 401 00:42:22,247 --> 00:42:23,873 - You don't say! - Yes. 402 00:42:24,082 --> 00:42:27,043 - Why do You Let them? - Have mercy, Sire! 403 00:42:31,005 --> 00:42:32,798 Get up, Fyodor. 404 00:42:33,966 --> 00:42:36,260 I don't blame you... Sit down. 405 00:42:36,969 --> 00:42:39,972 Write down the tsar's edict. 406 00:42:40,222 --> 00:42:43,391 I order to send an army 407 00:42:43,767 --> 00:42:48,896 to Izyum Road and rout the Khan of Crimea. 408 00:42:49,689 --> 00:42:52,483 - Period. - Period. 409 00:42:57,905 --> 00:43:00,157 Sign it, our great tsar. 410 00:43:00,449 --> 00:43:04,077 I have no right to sign historic documents. 411 00:43:09,874 --> 00:43:12,543 No, I have no right to sign... 412 00:43:19,967 --> 00:43:24,929 Acting for the tsar, I. Bunsha. 413 00:43:26,139 --> 00:43:27,432 Here, Fedya. 414 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,351 And tell them not to hurry back. 415 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:34,146 Tell them to capture Kazan on their way back, not to go there twice. 416 00:43:34,313 --> 00:43:39,443 How come? Kazan is ours. We've taken it long ago. 417 00:43:39,610 --> 00:43:40,819 - Really? - Sure. 418 00:43:40,986 --> 00:43:44,072 You were too hasty to do it. All right, all right, then. 419 00:43:44,281 --> 00:43:47,992 Since it's already taken, let it be. Why give it back? 420 00:43:53,914 --> 00:43:55,624 Well, go! 421 00:43:58,210 --> 00:44:00,712 And in five minutes I don't want to see either hide or hair of them here! 422 00:44:02,714 --> 00:44:07,927 Mount your horses! 423 00:44:08,886 --> 00:44:10,263 Start a song! 424 00:44:18,228 --> 00:44:22,274 Early in the spring, By a fir-tree all green, 425 00:44:22,566 --> 00:44:25,985 Vanyusha's bidding farewell to his love. 426 00:44:26,361 --> 00:44:29,947 Clad in a shirt of maiI, He's saying to his gaI: 427 00:44:30,406 --> 00:44:33,993 "Don't cry, Marusya, don't cry, my dove". 428 00:44:34,201 --> 00:44:37,955 Marusya says nothing, only weeps, 429 00:44:38,163 --> 00:44:39,790 Her sorrow 430 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,375 Holds her heart in grips. 431 00:44:42,626 --> 00:44:47,630 Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes, so dear, 432 00:44:47,839 --> 00:44:50,591 Drop the tears right onto his spear. 433 00:44:50,842 --> 00:44:54,595 Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes, so dear, 434 00:44:54,803 --> 00:44:58,640 Drop a sea of tears, 435 00:44:58,807 --> 00:45:01,226 Drop-drop-drop Right onto his spear. 436 00:45:05,146 --> 00:45:08,316 In winter, cold 'n' severe, Again under the fir-tree, 437 00:45:08,691 --> 00:45:12,695 Vanyusha's being greeted by his love. 438 00:45:12,862 --> 00:45:16,615 Clad in a shirt of maiI, He's saying to his gaI: 439 00:45:16,865 --> 00:45:20,410 "I've come to you, I'm back, my dove". 440 00:45:20,702 --> 00:45:24,581 Marusya is so happy, she weeps, 441 00:45:24,831 --> 00:45:28,334 Like a psaltery, HerjoyfuI heartjust sweeps. 442 00:45:29,335 --> 00:45:33,130 Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes, so dear, 443 00:45:33,339 --> 00:45:36,258 Drop the tears right onto his spear. 444 00:45:37,342 --> 00:45:40,929 Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes, so dear, 445 00:45:41,471 --> 00:45:43,807 drop so sweet a tear... 446 00:45:44,224 --> 00:45:45,517 Drop, drop 447 00:45:45,850 --> 00:45:48,102 Right onto his spear. 448 00:45:56,985 --> 00:45:59,029 Drop, drop, drop! 449 00:46:04,492 --> 00:46:08,371 Marusya is so happy, she weeps 450 00:46:08,579 --> 00:46:12,708 Like a psaltery, HerjoyfuI heartjust sweeps. 451 00:46:13,042 --> 00:46:15,252 Well, we got things going! 452 00:46:15,961 --> 00:46:19,214 Why doesn't the inventor turn his time machine back? 453 00:46:19,381 --> 00:46:23,176 - What a scandaI awaits me at home! - Why? 454 00:46:23,385 --> 00:46:27,513 - I didn't tell Ulyuana where I went. - Oh, yes, of course. 455 00:46:28,014 --> 00:46:32,476 We couldn't care less, We couldn't care less, 456 00:46:32,685 --> 00:46:36,188 Though owls and wolves Make us reaI wuss... 457 00:46:37,356 --> 00:46:42,319 Alexander Sergeyevich! I'm sorry to bother you during a family crisis. 458 00:46:42,527 --> 00:46:46,698 Did Ivan Vassilyevich drop by? They're looking for him everywhere. 459 00:46:47,740 --> 00:46:51,202 We couldn't care less... We firmly believe... 460 00:47:00,210 --> 00:47:02,254 CLOSED FOR INVENTORY 461 00:47:11,012 --> 00:47:14,181 CLOSED FOR REDECORATION 462 00:47:55,135 --> 00:47:57,179 What a scoundreI! 463 00:47:58,555 --> 00:48:03,393 I shouldn't have confessed to this saintly man! 464 00:48:06,646 --> 00:48:08,690 Shurik, are you home? 465 00:48:11,025 --> 00:48:12,068 Shurik! 466 00:48:23,078 --> 00:48:24,120 Shurik! 467 00:48:43,847 --> 00:48:45,015 What is that? 468 00:48:48,768 --> 00:48:52,897 Oh, I've taken the bag of that bastard, Yakin. 469 00:48:53,314 --> 00:48:54,732 FILM STUDIO 470 00:48:57,985 --> 00:49:01,571 First, this hystericaI woman made a scene on the set, 471 00:49:03,823 --> 00:49:07,744 and then she mixed up our suitcases. All this just an hour before our plane! 472 00:49:07,952 --> 00:49:11,956 Karp Savelyevich! I can't believe how lucky I am. 473 00:49:23,633 --> 00:49:25,969 Wait for me and I'll be back. 474 00:49:36,478 --> 00:49:39,690 Hello? Anyuta, you won't believe it! 475 00:49:40,065 --> 00:49:43,151 I'm flying to Gagry with Yakin. 476 00:49:43,860 --> 00:49:47,322 Zinaida Mikhailovna, I think you realize 477 00:49:47,697 --> 00:49:51,701 that it's all over between us after what you've done at the studio. 478 00:49:51,867 --> 00:49:54,829 Karp Savelyevich, you're a scoundreI! 479 00:49:54,995 --> 00:49:58,248 Please, return my bag, and here's yours. 480 00:49:59,374 --> 00:50:02,377 - I hope that all My things are in it? - What? 481 00:50:05,547 --> 00:50:08,299 Oh, you bastard! You jerk! 482 00:50:08,508 --> 00:50:13,554 I left my husband, that saintly man with all the accommodations, 483 00:50:13,888 --> 00:50:16,056 a genius, an inventor, 484 00:50:16,307 --> 00:50:18,684 for this scoundreI... 485 00:50:18,851 --> 00:50:21,895 My goodness, such brilliant lines! 486 00:50:22,104 --> 00:50:24,439 You haven't heard reaI lines yet! 487 00:50:24,981 --> 00:50:27,192 And two hours before our leaving, 488 00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,070 I find him with some witch, 489 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,615 whom he's holding by her hand, 490 00:50:34,990 --> 00:50:39,995 and behaving like a two-bitjerk. 491 00:50:40,203 --> 00:50:42,247 We were rehearsing a scene. 492 00:50:42,789 --> 00:50:46,918 This is my professionaI duty. Profession de foi. 493 00:50:47,168 --> 00:50:49,462 Enough! I'm fed up! 494 00:50:50,463 --> 00:50:52,465 I'm leaving you 495 00:50:52,631 --> 00:50:56,927 for director Budimir Kosoy and his production of "Boris Godunov". 496 00:50:57,261 --> 00:50:59,763 Kosoy is a fake. 497 00:51:00,389 --> 00:51:04,517 And you're a failure! For him, I'm going to play a tsarina. 498 00:51:04,726 --> 00:51:08,146 Kosoy hasn't yet found anyone for the part of Ivan the Terrible. 499 00:51:08,396 --> 00:51:11,065 What? No Ivan the Terrible? 500 00:51:12,275 --> 00:51:15,444 - But I've already rehearsed with him! - Where? 501 00:51:15,653 --> 00:51:19,239 Here! Right in this room! 502 00:51:19,448 --> 00:51:22,325 And who's playing Tsar Boris? Who? 503 00:51:22,993 --> 00:51:25,328 What Tsar Boris? 504 00:51:26,412 --> 00:51:29,499 - Boriska? - What is it? 505 00:51:29,707 --> 00:51:33,419 - Boriska is to become a tsar? - What? Are you really rehearsing? 506 00:51:34,086 --> 00:51:38,257 That's how he, sly fox, is paying for the good I've done him? 507 00:51:38,590 --> 00:51:42,135 He wants to be a tsar and take all tsardom in his hand! 508 00:51:42,302 --> 00:51:44,721 Death, that's what he deserves! 509 00:51:45,180 --> 00:51:49,684 Oh, my God, what a character! Bravo! Bravo! 510 00:51:51,102 --> 00:51:52,978 Please, go on! 511 00:51:54,063 --> 00:51:57,357 Why did you hurt this Boyar woman, you lowly man? 512 00:51:57,733 --> 00:52:01,611 It's great! It's amazing! He's a genius! 513 00:52:01,945 --> 00:52:05,657 Listen, I can't recognize you in your makeup. Who are you? 514 00:52:06,199 --> 00:52:08,701 Sergey Bondarchuk? No. 515 00:52:09,702 --> 00:52:12,788 Oh, you're Yuri Nikulin! No, no, no. 516 00:52:16,166 --> 00:52:17,960 Oh, my God! 517 00:52:19,795 --> 00:52:22,797 Innokenty Smoktunovsky! 518 00:52:24,257 --> 00:52:25,425 Kesha! 519 00:52:28,720 --> 00:52:30,805 Why didn't you tell me? 520 00:52:31,138 --> 00:52:35,476 - You vagabond, you vile shrimp! - Are you crazy? 521 00:52:36,935 --> 00:52:38,979 There, get it, son of a bitch! 522 00:52:40,522 --> 00:52:42,524 Oh, my God! 523 00:52:42,732 --> 00:52:46,319 You scoundreI! Son of a bitch! Damned adulterer! 524 00:52:46,528 --> 00:52:48,988 He is a reaI tsar! 525 00:52:50,615 --> 00:52:54,243 Help! Somebody! Call the police! 526 00:52:55,119 --> 00:52:57,830 On your knees, you worm! 527 00:52:58,413 --> 00:53:01,666 I've caught you, Yakin! Adulterer and son of a bitch! 528 00:53:01,917 --> 00:53:06,629 Pray, son of a bitch! This is your last prayer! 529 00:53:07,088 --> 00:53:11,259 - Oh, you're rehearsing? - Yes, we're rehearsing. 530 00:53:13,177 --> 00:53:16,638 What do you mean, rehearsing? Call the police! 531 00:53:16,972 --> 00:53:20,267 - Where are You going? - I'm here. I'm here. 532 00:53:20,517 --> 00:53:22,769 You act very well! 533 00:53:22,978 --> 00:53:26,314 And the tsar looks very authentic... 534 00:53:28,149 --> 00:53:30,193 He looks just like Bunsha. 535 00:53:31,944 --> 00:53:37,241 I've been robbed, Zinaida Mikhailovna. I'm waiting for the police with dogs. 536 00:53:37,908 --> 00:53:39,618 Who do you belong to? 537 00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:44,122 Excuse me, comrade actor, but what do you mean, "belong"? 538 00:53:44,331 --> 00:53:47,250 - Whose serf are You? - Sorry, but I don't understand you. 539 00:53:48,209 --> 00:53:50,545 A very stupid serf! 540 00:53:50,753 --> 00:53:54,465 Excuse me, but why do you keep calling me a serf? 541 00:53:54,715 --> 00:53:57,801 - Where Did You get that word? - It's from the part he's playing. 542 00:53:58,051 --> 00:54:01,304 That part is denigrating! Please, don't apply it to me! 543 00:54:01,847 --> 00:54:05,558 Oh, God! Some apartment house! They rob you, they call you names! 544 00:54:05,725 --> 00:54:09,062 We'll never win the honorary title of a house of cultured communaI living. 545 00:54:09,479 --> 00:54:11,731 This is an outrage! An outrage! 546 00:54:12,481 --> 00:54:16,527 Well, lascivious shrimp, beg the Boyar woman if she giveth you life or death! 547 00:54:16,777 --> 00:54:20,030 - Life. - Life. Life. 548 00:54:20,197 --> 00:54:22,240 Be mercifuI, O great tsar! 549 00:54:22,824 --> 00:54:23,992 Life? 550 00:54:26,035 --> 00:54:29,205 Be it your way. 551 00:54:34,335 --> 00:54:38,672 Listen to me, Karp, but, please, don't get excited. 552 00:54:39,423 --> 00:54:42,008 This is the reaI Ivan the Terrible! 553 00:54:44,803 --> 00:54:47,680 Do you remember I was telling you about the time machine? 554 00:54:47,847 --> 00:54:51,309 Well, Shurik did succeed with that experiment! 555 00:54:58,649 --> 00:55:02,694 - But he could have killed me! - And would have done good! 556 00:55:03,987 --> 00:55:05,739 It's crazy! 557 00:55:06,531 --> 00:55:11,035 What do you mean, Ivan the Terrible? He's been long dead! 558 00:55:11,327 --> 00:55:14,205 - Who's dead? - I didn't mean you. 559 00:55:14,538 --> 00:55:17,332 I mean the other one, the one who's been dead... 560 00:55:27,258 --> 00:55:29,677 - Did You seduce the Boyar woman? - Yes, I did. 561 00:55:31,095 --> 00:55:34,890 I am he... that liveth... 562 00:55:35,349 --> 00:55:40,187 What do you mean, you liveth, vile dog? Look at yourself! 563 00:55:40,437 --> 00:55:41,438 Liveth! 564 00:55:41,605 --> 00:55:45,233 - Help me. Say something in Slavonic. - Thy! 565 00:55:46,442 --> 00:55:49,529 Thy... thy cherub. 566 00:55:49,946 --> 00:55:52,448 Your Excellency, have mercy! 567 00:55:53,032 --> 00:55:55,159 You have misunderstood me. 568 00:55:56,744 --> 00:55:59,079 How can I understand you, if you don't say anything? 569 00:55:59,830 --> 00:56:02,332 I don't know foreign languages, your highness. 570 00:56:03,875 --> 00:56:07,086 - do You love this Boyar woman? - I'm crazy about her! 571 00:56:09,255 --> 00:56:12,508 Look at her! Beauteous to behold, 572 00:56:12,675 --> 00:56:16,595 crimson in her lips, crescents in her brows! 573 00:56:17,513 --> 00:56:20,432 - What more do you want, dog? - Nothing! 574 00:56:20,599 --> 00:56:23,685 Then marry her, fooI! The prince is letting her go. 575 00:56:23,893 --> 00:56:26,312 I'm asking for your hand, Zinaida Mikhailovna! 576 00:56:28,856 --> 00:56:33,235 Hello? Galya? You're going to fall down! I've got great news! 577 00:56:33,402 --> 00:56:36,071 Yakin has left his witch, 578 00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,407 and we're going to Gagry. 579 00:56:38,740 --> 00:56:43,536 Well, you sinning beard! Should I hear that you've done something... 580 00:56:43,745 --> 00:56:46,080 - I swear! - Don't interrupt the tsar! 581 00:56:46,247 --> 00:56:50,376 - Yes, Sire! - I'm giving you one of my coats. 582 00:56:51,335 --> 00:56:56,590 - Thank him! Thank him! - Thou art... I thank thee humbly! 583 00:56:59,384 --> 00:57:01,219 Sire! 584 00:57:01,428 --> 00:57:03,680 You can't stay here looking like this! 585 00:57:05,515 --> 00:57:07,809 People might think I don't know what. 586 00:57:08,101 --> 00:57:13,606 Oh, God Almighty! I forgot where I am, O Lord! 587 00:57:14,106 --> 00:57:15,107 I've forgotten everything! 588 00:57:15,274 --> 00:57:19,278 You must change your clothes, Ivan Vassilyevich! 589 00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:24,449 Oh, the demons' garb! A temptation... 590 00:57:25,533 --> 00:57:31,414 My mind is all confused. The coat, the Tsar Ivan the Terrible... 591 00:57:31,664 --> 00:57:36,168 Stop being so fidgety! Well, it is Ivan the Terrible. So what? Big deaI! 592 00:57:36,585 --> 00:57:38,962 You had better go and help the tsar change. 593 00:57:39,129 --> 00:57:40,339 Yes, ma'am. 594 00:57:42,549 --> 00:57:45,468 Hello? Vava? You'll never believe it! 595 00:57:47,345 --> 00:57:48,554 Oh, my God! 596 00:57:53,476 --> 00:57:55,978 He looks so much like our Bunsha! 597 00:57:58,438 --> 00:58:00,941 - Pah! - It looks very good on you. 598 00:58:01,108 --> 00:58:04,402 - Dear Tsar, we must go. - Perchance... we shalt... 599 00:58:04,944 --> 00:58:07,780 We have a plane to catch. 600 00:58:08,990 --> 00:58:10,908 Godspeed! 601 00:58:11,117 --> 00:58:13,369 May we thank you for everything? 602 00:58:14,078 --> 00:58:18,999 You're a very spirited man! 603 00:58:40,435 --> 00:58:41,603 Hello? Shurochka? 604 00:58:41,770 --> 00:58:44,856 Can you imagine? Yakin fell for me like a silly boy. 605 00:58:45,023 --> 00:58:50,695 He proposed, and we're leaving for our honeymoon. Many kisses. 606 00:58:51,779 --> 00:58:52,988 Go! 607 00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:04,457 Oh, how beautifuI it is! Beauteous! 608 00:59:15,718 --> 00:59:17,261 Beauteous! 609 00:59:19,513 --> 00:59:20,931 Cigarette break! 610 00:59:26,644 --> 00:59:29,730 - The Swedish Ambassador! - What's up, Fedya? 611 00:59:32,858 --> 00:59:35,819 The Swedish ambassador asks for an audience. 612 01:00:10,017 --> 01:00:12,061 Bring the ambassador in. 613 01:00:14,813 --> 01:00:18,775 Knit your brows! Knit your brows! 614 01:00:55,768 --> 01:00:58,061 Der grosse Konig, 615 01:00:58,395 --> 01:01:03,400 Des Schwedischen Konigreichs sende mich, 616 01:01:04,734 --> 01:01:07,278 seinen treuen Diener, 617 01:01:07,654 --> 01:01:13,117 zu Ihnen, Czar and Grande Duc 618 01:01:13,909 --> 01:01:16,036 Ivan Vassilyevich... 619 01:01:18,163 --> 01:01:20,082 usarussa. 620 01:01:20,415 --> 01:01:23,835 - This foreign tourist speaks well! - What exactly does he say? 621 01:01:24,044 --> 01:01:26,462 I'll be damned if I know. Fedya! 622 01:01:28,464 --> 01:01:31,384 - We need an interpreter. - We had one. He was German. 623 01:01:31,717 --> 01:01:34,136 He got drunk as a lord when he had to translate. 624 01:01:34,428 --> 01:01:37,806 - So We cooked him in boiled water. - It's not the way to treat interpreters. 625 01:01:38,390 --> 01:01:41,226 Schwedete armie erobern hut. 626 01:01:41,685 --> 01:01:44,813 Answer something. See, the man goes out of his way. 627 01:01:45,313 --> 01:01:47,398 Hitler kaput! 628 01:01:47,982 --> 01:01:51,444 Go on, Mister Ambassador. We absolutely agree with you. 629 01:01:52,236 --> 01:01:55,698 - Kemska district. - Right. Absolutely. 630 01:01:58,784 --> 01:02:00,744 Absolutely. 631 01:02:02,913 --> 01:02:06,124 Look, comrade. Excuse us for a minute. 632 01:02:07,083 --> 01:02:11,420 I would like to know what he wants, in generaI terms. 633 01:02:12,213 --> 01:02:14,423 It's very simple. 634 01:02:14,924 --> 01:02:18,719 They want Kemsk Region. They went to war, so, they say, give it to us. 635 01:02:19,052 --> 01:02:21,513 What? Kemsk Region? 636 01:02:21,930 --> 01:02:25,683 Ja, Kemska rejion. Ja, ja... 637 01:02:26,601 --> 01:02:29,687 Take it if you want it! Oh, God! I thought it was something important. 638 01:02:29,896 --> 01:02:33,315 - But you can't do it, benefactor. - The tsar knows what he's doing. 639 01:02:33,941 --> 01:02:37,903 Our state won't be any poorer for it. Take it! Take it! 640 01:02:38,445 --> 01:02:42,616 Have mercy, our great tsar, and allow me to speak. 641 01:02:45,910 --> 01:02:49,997 What are you doing, son of a bitch? Some impostor squandering our lands! 642 01:02:50,414 --> 01:02:52,541 We shall never have enough regions for you! 643 01:02:52,792 --> 01:02:55,169 So whadda I say my king? 644 01:02:57,880 --> 01:03:00,757 Say your king my warm greetings. 645 01:03:01,174 --> 01:03:03,218 Whadda about Kemsk region? 646 01:03:03,510 --> 01:03:07,263 Such questions, my dear ambassador, are not decided at the drop of a hat. 647 01:03:07,513 --> 01:03:11,475 We have to consult with comrades. Come back in a few days. 648 01:03:11,684 --> 01:03:15,646 Yes, by the way, here's a little souvenir for you from me. 649 01:03:19,274 --> 01:03:20,817 Here! 650 01:03:29,534 --> 01:03:34,538 Well, auf Wiedersehen! Goodbye! Au revoir! In short, ciao! 651 01:03:41,044 --> 01:03:43,546 Everyone can go! 652 01:03:46,883 --> 01:03:48,885 The guards can go, too. 653 01:03:49,886 --> 01:03:51,846 The guards can go. 654 01:04:02,981 --> 01:04:05,108 Why are you crawling, old chap? 655 01:04:05,817 --> 01:04:08,569 The ambassador has lost his chest decoration. 656 01:04:09,779 --> 01:04:14,825 He shouldn't be so absent-minded. One should watch his things when in a room. 657 01:04:16,618 --> 01:04:19,204 Why are you staring at me? 658 01:04:19,413 --> 01:04:22,499 - do You think I took it? - No, of course not! 659 01:04:23,583 --> 01:04:24,834 You didn't take it, did you? 660 01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:29,047 Maybe it has slid under the throne? 661 01:04:30,798 --> 01:04:31,632 No. 662 01:04:32,967 --> 01:04:34,718 Well, then nothing can be done. 663 01:04:34,885 --> 01:04:36,470 What a misfortune! 664 01:04:44,019 --> 01:04:47,480 I am again tormented by some troubling doubts. 665 01:04:47,689 --> 01:04:51,609 Shpak's tape recorder, the ambassador's medaI... 666 01:04:51,776 --> 01:04:53,778 What are you driving at? 667 01:04:53,944 --> 01:04:57,656 I'm asking you, you tsar's mug, what are you hinting at? 668 01:04:57,906 --> 01:05:01,868 The Tartar Prince Yedigey is here to see the tsar. 669 01:05:02,077 --> 01:05:04,871 No. That's too much. 670 01:05:06,998 --> 01:05:09,834 Calling hours are over. We have a lunch break. 671 01:05:11,877 --> 01:05:14,838 The tsar wishes to refect. 672 01:05:30,478 --> 01:05:33,189 - I must be dreaming! - Just a minute. 673 01:05:33,355 --> 01:05:37,693 - Who's going to pay for this banquet? - In any case, not us. 674 01:05:37,985 --> 01:05:39,820 Fedya, what is in there? 675 01:05:41,321 --> 01:05:43,114 Hare's kidneys, 676 01:05:43,949 --> 01:05:47,577 pike heads with garlic. Black caviar. 677 01:05:48,202 --> 01:05:49,287 Red caviar. 678 01:05:49,704 --> 01:05:52,790 And from overseas... 679 01:05:55,251 --> 01:05:57,169 Eggplant caviar! 680 01:05:58,462 --> 01:05:59,838 BeautifuI! 681 01:06:00,213 --> 01:06:03,925 - Well, tsar, let's drink. - Let's drink. 682 01:06:33,035 --> 01:06:34,036 Beauteous! 683 01:06:34,203 --> 01:06:37,831 I look for him all over the house, and here's he, in someone else's flat. 684 01:06:38,040 --> 01:06:40,083 Why don't you look me in the eye? 685 01:06:40,250 --> 01:06:42,627 Ivan Vassilyevich, I've been burglarized! 686 01:06:43,211 --> 01:06:47,548 Everything I've got by working tirelessly, everything is gone! 687 01:06:47,799 --> 01:06:51,219 Oh, look at you! You're blind drunk! 688 01:06:51,385 --> 01:06:54,805 You don't look like yourself! What on earth did you put on yourself? 689 01:06:55,055 --> 01:06:59,184 - Imported tape recorder, suede jacket... - He's drunk! 690 01:06:59,559 --> 01:07:01,061 There's nothing left! 691 01:07:01,812 --> 01:07:04,481 He can't stand on his feet! Where are you going? 692 01:07:05,982 --> 01:07:09,569 Oh, God! What's going on? Go home now, alcoholic! 693 01:07:09,777 --> 01:07:12,863 Leave me alone, old woman, I'm being sad. 694 01:07:13,572 --> 01:07:16,700 Old woman? You jerk! 695 01:07:16,950 --> 01:07:19,036 I'm five years younger than you! 696 01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:21,746 Let's go home, now! 697 01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:24,332 You are a witch! 698 01:07:25,083 --> 01:07:27,001 Help! 699 01:07:27,418 --> 01:07:30,796 Ivan Vassilyevich, calm down. 700 01:07:34,133 --> 01:07:37,136 - Witch! - To be absolutely honest, yes. 701 01:07:38,554 --> 01:07:41,765 - And What do You want? - Dear Ivan Vassilyevich, 702 01:07:41,932 --> 01:07:44,684 that's the list of stolen things. 703 01:07:44,851 --> 01:07:50,148 Two tape recorders, two movie cameras, two cigarette cases. Please! 704 01:07:50,356 --> 01:07:53,359 Is it the way to hand in a petition to the tsar? 705 01:07:53,734 --> 01:07:57,112 What do you mean? Stop your hooliganism! 706 01:07:58,363 --> 01:08:03,827 You and your drunken tricks! I'll file a collective complaint against you! 707 01:08:04,202 --> 01:08:07,288 I see you never stop, lackey! 708 01:08:08,873 --> 01:08:12,084 Hello? Is that a psychiatric ward? 709 01:08:12,668 --> 01:08:17,840 My husband has got a delirium tremens. He attacks people with a knife. 710 01:08:18,173 --> 01:08:22,719 - Stop! Take the knife away! - The knife! 711 01:08:23,094 --> 01:08:26,848 Just look at our activist! He's an armed bandit! 712 01:08:27,390 --> 01:08:29,725 - Lowly trash! - You're trash yourself! 713 01:08:30,017 --> 01:08:31,435 Lackey! 714 01:08:31,602 --> 01:08:34,104 The police will decide who's a lackey here! 715 01:08:34,939 --> 01:08:36,231 Is it the police? 716 01:08:37,274 --> 01:08:40,736 - Wait! He's not Bunsha! - What do you mean, not Bunsha? 717 01:08:40,902 --> 01:08:44,322 He's Ivan the Terrible. The reaI one. 718 01:08:57,084 --> 01:08:59,670 I'm busy. Call me later. 719 01:09:00,170 --> 01:09:03,923 - Oh, my God! What's going on? - I revealed a big secret to you. 720 01:09:04,132 --> 01:09:06,885 I beg you to promise that you won't tell anybody. 721 01:09:07,093 --> 01:09:10,304 Of course! You have my word. 722 01:09:10,471 --> 01:09:14,391 - Thank You. - Don't mention it. 723 01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:20,981 Hello? The police? 724 01:09:21,481 --> 01:09:24,859 That's Shpak speaking, who's been burglarized. 725 01:09:25,068 --> 01:09:28,363 No, it's not about the robbery. We've got something more weird here. 726 01:09:28,696 --> 01:09:32,825 Engineer Timofeyev has a live tsar in his apartment. 727 01:09:33,909 --> 01:09:38,121 No, I don't drink. With a dagger, cold steeI... 728 01:09:38,872 --> 01:09:41,875 I'm giving you my word of honor! 729 01:09:42,709 --> 01:09:44,002 I'll be waiting. 730 01:09:51,217 --> 01:09:54,762 I can imagine how they fight now on Izyum Road. 731 01:09:55,012 --> 01:10:00,142 Fedya, what are you doing there, by the kidneys? Come here, don't be shy. 732 01:10:00,350 --> 01:10:03,812 Here! Let's drink to friendship! 733 01:10:05,605 --> 01:10:09,817 Listen, old chap, do they accept jewelry at your pawn shop? 734 01:10:12,653 --> 01:10:14,989 - We can arrange it. - Let's drink. 735 01:10:15,239 --> 01:10:19,743 The tsarina is here, Sire. She wants to see you. 736 01:10:23,622 --> 01:10:28,167 Fedya, go back to the kidneys! It was a bad move. You don't look like a tsar. 737 01:10:28,334 --> 01:10:32,797 What? Whoa! Whoa! Who are you talking to, lackey? 738 01:10:39,011 --> 01:10:44,099 Dear tsarina! I'm so glad! Nice meeting you! My pleasure. 739 01:10:44,349 --> 01:10:48,561 Hello, I'm the tsar. Nice to meet you. How do you do, I'm the tsar... 740 01:10:48,728 --> 01:10:53,065 Very pleased, I'm the tsar. Nice to meet you, I'm the tsar. Very pleased. 741 01:10:55,442 --> 01:10:59,321 Please, come to our table. 742 01:11:00,405 --> 01:11:04,034 This way, please. Please... 743 01:11:04,951 --> 01:11:07,036 Haven't we met before? 744 01:11:07,203 --> 01:11:09,789 - What are you saying, shit? - Whoa! Whoa! 745 01:11:09,997 --> 01:11:14,084 Hey! Waiter! One order of kidneys for the tsarina. 746 01:11:14,460 --> 01:11:16,503 Excuse me for a minute. 747 01:11:17,421 --> 01:11:21,967 - Sorry, your name, please? - Why, I'm Marfa Vassilyevna. 748 01:11:22,551 --> 01:11:25,720 WonderfuI! Enchanting! 749 01:11:26,596 --> 01:11:29,932 Marfa Vassilyevna, how enchanting! A glass of cardamom vodka? 750 01:11:30,141 --> 01:11:33,060 - Oh, no! - Why? Please, don't refuse. 751 01:11:33,519 --> 01:11:35,604 Your health! 752 01:11:39,358 --> 01:11:42,611 Well, everyone keeps saying: tsar, tsar... 753 01:11:43,278 --> 01:11:46,281 You think, Marfa Vassilyevna, it's easy to be a tsar? 754 01:11:46,447 --> 01:11:48,908 No, on the contrary! 755 01:11:49,617 --> 01:11:53,621 Every working man has two days off, and we, the tsars, have no days off. 756 01:11:53,871 --> 01:11:56,623 And our working hours are not fixed. 757 01:11:57,249 --> 01:12:02,003 Please, eat, Margarita Vassilyevna. Everything has been paid for. 758 01:12:02,629 --> 01:12:08,301 You know, a tsar's job is so unhealthy that we should be given free milk. 759 01:12:08,551 --> 01:12:10,970 They wrote it in the Health Magazine 760 01:12:11,554 --> 01:12:14,348 that the nervous cells are never restored. 761 01:12:14,515 --> 01:12:18,769 You work and work, our great tsar, just like a bee! 762 01:12:19,895 --> 01:12:25,066 Margo, you alone understand me! 763 01:12:27,277 --> 01:12:31,739 - One more glass to Go with a pike head? - Oh, no! No! 764 01:12:33,908 --> 01:12:37,536 Tell me, please, do you have private rooms here? 765 01:12:37,870 --> 01:12:40,622 - I see you're dead drunk! - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 766 01:12:40,831 --> 01:12:44,667 Why don't you play, maestro? Strike up a song! 767 01:12:48,171 --> 01:12:55,261 That's not a big black cloud coming... 768 01:12:56,845 --> 01:12:57,805 A cloud! 769 01:12:59,806 --> 01:13:04,894 That's not a thunderstorm striking... 770 01:13:08,648 --> 01:13:09,857 A thunderstorm! 771 01:13:11,359 --> 01:13:18,323 That's the tsar of Crimea, a vile dog... 772 01:13:21,326 --> 01:13:22,661 A dog! 773 01:13:28,875 --> 01:13:31,627 What do you mean, a dog? 774 01:13:32,169 --> 01:13:35,047 How dare you sing such songs about a tsar? 775 01:13:35,547 --> 01:13:39,301 You got out of hand here, without me. What kind of a repertoire is that? 776 01:13:40,218 --> 01:13:44,180 You ought to sing songs for the masses, something contemporary. 777 01:13:44,347 --> 01:13:47,767 Like... how does it go? Trali-vali, tili-tili. 778 01:13:47,976 --> 01:13:51,771 We're not the tili-tili, we're not the trali-vali. 779 01:13:51,937 --> 01:13:54,315 CooI it, Vanya. We'll do everything. 780 01:13:55,399 --> 01:13:58,193 Excuse me, what's your name again? 781 01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:01,154 - I'm Marfa Vassilyevna! - Yes, of course, Marfa. 782 01:14:02,072 --> 01:14:05,158 Oh, Marfusha! The night is still young! 783 01:14:05,700 --> 01:14:08,369 Give us a line, and we'll pick it up. 784 01:14:08,536 --> 01:14:10,496 Wait! Quiet! 785 01:14:10,872 --> 01:14:12,915 All of a sudden, 786 01:14:15,459 --> 01:14:16,752 Out of the blue, 787 01:14:18,086 --> 01:14:21,089 Love knocked down 788 01:14:21,756 --> 01:14:23,842 Upon my door. 789 01:14:24,050 --> 01:14:30,348 Is that it? Is that you? I couldn't hope for anything more. 790 01:14:31,182 --> 01:14:34,560 Snow was falling, dawn after dawn, 791 01:14:34,852 --> 01:14:37,646 Days were rainy and mean. 792 01:14:38,105 --> 01:14:41,608 So many years, why were you gone? 793 01:14:42,067 --> 01:14:46,696 Where have you ever been? 794 01:14:48,865 --> 01:14:53,285 Like in a dream, the doorjust creaked, 795 01:14:53,744 --> 01:14:57,414 And suddenly, all made sense. 796 01:14:57,623 --> 01:15:00,584 Fate played tricks. Fate intrigued. 797 01:15:00,876 --> 01:15:03,461 And here's our meeting, hence. 798 01:15:03,753 --> 01:15:06,089 I froze at sea, traveled by train. 799 01:15:06,422 --> 01:15:08,716 I know it was not in vain. 800 01:15:09,008 --> 01:15:14,221 No, it was not in vain, It was not for nothing. 801 01:15:15,222 --> 01:15:20,602 All has happened, all came true. Nobody knows, how. 802 01:15:21,144 --> 01:15:26,941 How could I live all this through? It's just incredible! Wow! 803 01:15:27,609 --> 01:15:32,863 If you wait and take it in, whatever ever lies in store... 804 01:15:33,322 --> 01:15:36,658 Then you can get it, what you dreamed for, 805 01:15:36,825 --> 01:15:40,245 And go hope for more. 806 01:15:40,620 --> 01:15:42,372 Everybody dance! 807 01:15:42,706 --> 01:15:47,293 Like in a dream, the doorjust creaked, 808 01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:50,963 And, suddenly, all made sense. 809 01:15:51,339 --> 01:15:54,175 Fate played tricks. Fate intrigued. 810 01:15:54,508 --> 01:15:56,802 And here's our meeting, hence. 811 01:15:57,094 --> 01:15:59,680 I froze at sea, traveled by train. 812 01:15:59,888 --> 01:16:02,307 I know it was not in vain. 813 01:16:02,474 --> 01:16:07,437 No, it was not in vain, It was not for nothing. 814 01:17:24,215 --> 01:17:29,470 A mutiny in the army! They say that the tsar's not reaI! 815 01:17:40,272 --> 01:17:43,191 My dear autocrat, we're done in! 816 01:17:44,150 --> 01:17:47,111 I demand that the banquet go on! 817 01:17:49,655 --> 01:17:52,241 Why are we done in? Why? 818 01:18:27,440 --> 01:18:28,858 This way! 819 01:18:33,529 --> 01:18:37,199 Come on, Prince, hurry up! Send me back! 820 01:18:37,449 --> 01:18:40,535 Everything will be ready in 3 minutes. 821 01:19:02,430 --> 01:19:06,601 Wait a bit, Ivan Vassilyevich. You'd better change into your tsar's clothes. 822 01:19:06,976 --> 01:19:08,603 Damn! 823 01:19:29,705 --> 01:19:30,873 Do you smoke? 824 01:19:33,626 --> 01:19:36,420 You don't? Good. I don't smoke either. 825 01:19:36,795 --> 01:19:39,339 So tell me, who are you? 826 01:19:40,132 --> 01:19:42,467 - I am the tsar. - Nickname? 827 01:19:42,842 --> 01:19:47,138 - Wait. your name? - We're the Ryuriks. 828 01:19:47,513 --> 01:19:51,142 - First, second name? - Ivan Vassilyevich. 829 01:19:51,517 --> 01:19:53,352 Ivan... 830 01:19:53,769 --> 01:19:59,483 - Date of birth? - 1533 A.D. 831 01:20:01,068 --> 01:20:04,279 - Joking? - Very funny. 832 01:20:04,696 --> 01:20:08,783 - Wait. Residence? - My palace. 833 01:20:09,992 --> 01:20:13,621 What palace? The address? 834 01:20:14,288 --> 01:20:18,250 - What am I accused of, Boyar? - You'll meet your boyars in the can! 835 01:20:18,667 --> 01:20:21,920 - Was it you who busted Shpak's place? - Shpak's? 836 01:20:22,712 --> 01:20:25,965 I took Kazan, I took Astrakhan, 837 01:20:26,132 --> 01:20:29,635 I took ReveI, but never Shpak. 838 01:20:29,844 --> 01:20:32,513 There he is! You're bagged! It serves you right, drunkard! 839 01:20:32,847 --> 01:20:36,517 - What's up, folks? Who are you? - Lieutenant, I'm this alcoholic's wife! 840 01:20:36,683 --> 01:20:40,354 You're Iying! How can you be my wife, old woman? 841 01:20:40,604 --> 01:20:44,315 See? He got drunk out of his wits! He can't recognize his own wife! 842 01:20:44,816 --> 01:20:47,944 I had to call the psychiatric ward. 843 01:20:48,194 --> 01:20:52,573 Oh, that's what it's all about! That's why all these ravings. 844 01:20:52,782 --> 01:20:56,910 He took Kazan. He took Astrakhan. He calls himself Ivan the Terrible. 845 01:20:57,161 --> 01:20:59,454 It's delirium tremens. A typicaI case. 846 01:20:59,663 --> 01:21:03,083 What's the patient's reaI name? 847 01:21:03,458 --> 01:21:07,211 - Bunsha, Ivan Vassilyevich. - You're Iying, witch! 848 01:21:07,462 --> 01:21:09,464 I hate him! 849 01:21:10,548 --> 01:21:11,716 Attention! 850 01:21:12,466 --> 01:21:14,134 Get ready! 851 01:21:23,977 --> 01:21:26,146 Take the impostors alive! 852 01:21:36,989 --> 01:21:39,449 Black caviar! 853 01:21:41,201 --> 01:21:42,744 Red caviar! 854 01:21:44,913 --> 01:21:47,332 And from overseas, eggplant caviar! 855 01:22:39,504 --> 01:22:43,091 Comrade Timofeyev! Alexander Sergeyevich! Help me! 856 01:22:44,259 --> 01:22:47,345 Ivan Vassilyevich, hurry up! Goodbye! 857 01:23:01,191 --> 01:23:04,694 - are You all right? - All right. You'll never believe it! 858 01:23:05,153 --> 01:23:10,950 The police will believe it! You will answer for your anti-sociaI experiments! 859 01:23:12,993 --> 01:23:15,120 Sire! Just a minute! 860 01:23:25,380 --> 01:23:30,218 Why do you have police at your door, comrade scientist? 861 01:23:30,426 --> 01:23:32,928 There was a burglary at your friend Shpak's today. 862 01:23:33,387 --> 01:23:35,514 Really? 863 01:23:39,977 --> 01:23:44,981 - We detained One more. - No, not detained! 864 01:23:45,440 --> 01:23:49,861 Not detained. I was on my way to make a voluntary confession. 865 01:23:50,027 --> 01:23:54,657 I'm delighted to hand myself in to my dear police. I set on it all my hopes. 866 01:23:54,823 --> 01:23:58,577 - Who are you? - Bunsha, Ivan Vassilyevich. 867 01:24:00,454 --> 01:24:03,623 So you insist that you're Ivan Vassilyevich Bunsha? 868 01:24:03,873 --> 01:24:05,875 Your ID, please. 869 01:24:06,960 --> 01:24:10,796 - I forgot it at home. - Who can corroborate your statement? 870 01:24:12,298 --> 01:24:17,177 Well, anybody! You may ask my wife, Ulyana. She will confirm it. 871 01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:19,638 Well, well, well. 872 01:24:20,514 --> 01:24:23,350 What did you want to make a voluntary confession about? 873 01:24:23,808 --> 01:24:28,062 I confess that against my will, under the compulsion of Prince Miloslavsky, 874 01:24:28,479 --> 01:24:30,898 I acted temporarily as a tsar. 875 01:24:31,315 --> 01:24:33,651 A tsar? You are a tsar, too? 876 01:24:33,901 --> 01:24:36,487 Yes, a tsar. Ivan Vassilyevich the Terrible. 877 01:24:36,945 --> 01:24:40,907 You're Iying, dog! I am the tsar! 878 01:24:42,617 --> 01:24:44,244 Hooligan! 879 01:24:45,411 --> 01:24:49,373 Everything I've got by working tirelessly, everything is gone! 880 01:24:49,832 --> 01:24:53,127 Three tape recorders, three imported movie cameras, 881 01:24:53,461 --> 01:25:00,425 three home-made cigarette cases, a suede jacket... Three jackets! 882 01:25:01,426 --> 01:25:06,556 And they want to be awarded the title of a house of cultured communaI living! 883 01:25:08,391 --> 01:25:12,645 Ulyana Andreyevna, tell us again who he is. 884 01:25:14,813 --> 01:25:16,940 I've already told you! 885 01:25:17,149 --> 01:25:19,901 My husband, Ivan Vassilyevich Bunsha. 886 01:25:20,068 --> 01:25:23,947 - They'll cure you, alcoholic. - Fine! Then who is this? 887 01:25:28,409 --> 01:25:32,163 - Impostor! - You're an impostor yourself! Got it? 888 01:25:32,413 --> 01:25:35,332 - So, who is he? - My husband! Ivan Vassilyevich Bunsha. 889 01:25:36,291 --> 01:25:41,838 They will cure you, too. 890 01:25:44,007 --> 01:25:49,929 - It turns out you've got 2 husbands? - So it turns out. 891 01:25:50,137 --> 01:25:52,098 And they're both Bunshas? 892 01:25:55,351 --> 01:25:56,727 Yes, both of them. 893 01:26:00,272 --> 01:26:02,607 You'll be cured. 894 01:26:03,483 --> 01:26:05,819 And you'll be cured. 895 01:26:09,280 --> 01:26:11,866 And I'll be cured, too. 896 01:26:12,825 --> 01:26:17,121 What you told me is grandiose! You're such a valuable eyewitness! 897 01:26:17,579 --> 01:26:20,707 If I were you, I'd put a dissertation in the can. 898 01:26:21,833 --> 01:26:24,753 I ain't in no hurry. I can end up in the can any time. 899 01:26:35,012 --> 01:26:39,141 Is that it? Is that you? I couldn't hope for anything more. 900 01:26:40,851 --> 01:26:43,311 Ulyana Andreyevna, I was faithfuI to you. 901 01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:47,482 The tsarina tried to seduce me, but I didn't give in. I swear! 902 01:26:54,655 --> 01:26:58,534 - Miloslavsky was almost in our hands! - George Miloslavsky? 903 01:26:58,700 --> 01:27:01,119 - Yes! Arrest him! - Right. 904 01:27:03,038 --> 01:27:04,122 Wait! 905 01:27:04,914 --> 01:27:08,751 Hold on! Get him! Catch Miloslavsky! 906 01:27:43,116 --> 01:27:46,494 I was absolutely sure that I had sent you back. 907 01:27:47,078 --> 01:27:50,790 Hurry up, Prince. Get your machine working. 908 01:27:51,082 --> 01:27:55,085 - Where have You been all this time? - The police bagged me. Framing me up. 909 01:28:01,675 --> 01:28:04,594 They're after me, Prince! Hurry up! Hurry! Oh, my God! 910 01:28:06,971 --> 01:28:09,682 Run, Ivan Vassilyevich! 911 01:28:12,727 --> 01:28:15,813 - Hurry, Ivan Vassilyevich! - Yes, I'm coming! 912 01:28:15,980 --> 01:28:18,148 Oh, God, forgive me my sins! 913 01:28:19,483 --> 01:28:21,401 EviI spirit! 914 01:28:22,360 --> 01:28:28,282 - Farewell, Prince! - Good luck! Don't think ill of me. 915 01:28:56,141 --> 01:28:59,019 - It's outrageous! - You put out electricity again! 916 01:28:59,186 --> 01:29:02,230 - He's taunting us! - We're going to complain! 917 01:29:03,106 --> 01:29:06,067 Oh, you're already out of the asylum? 918 01:29:06,317 --> 01:29:09,320 - Stop your hooliganism! - What's the matter? 919 01:29:09,529 --> 01:29:11,364 That's scandalous! 920 01:29:11,614 --> 01:29:17,286 He's wearing glasses just for nothing! You'll be brought to court for that! 921 01:29:20,080 --> 01:29:23,750 We send them to college, and in return we're going bald! 922 01:29:26,336 --> 01:29:27,920 What was it? 923 01:29:28,504 --> 01:29:33,008 Was itjust a dream, or was it reaI? 924 01:29:34,510 --> 01:29:38,222 Ivan the Terrible... Miloslavsky... 925 01:29:39,973 --> 01:29:42,184 Oh, I forgot. Zina has left me. 926 01:29:47,689 --> 01:29:50,149 No, it's all nonsense! 927 01:29:51,150 --> 01:29:53,736 I was just knocked out! 928 01:29:55,487 --> 01:29:57,489 And what if it's not nonsense? 929 01:29:58,323 --> 01:30:01,118 My goodness! What is going on here? 930 01:30:01,451 --> 01:30:03,495 You smoked again! 931 01:30:04,537 --> 01:30:06,623 And, of course, you didn't eat your lunch. 932 01:30:16,090 --> 01:30:19,301 - You haven't left for Gagry? - What do you mean, Gagry? 933 01:30:20,177 --> 01:30:23,263 You're going crazy with your machine! 934 01:30:29,477 --> 01:30:31,729 Oh, how did you get yourself such a bump? 935 01:30:34,899 --> 01:30:38,527 Zina, tell me the truth. 936 01:30:39,361 --> 01:30:42,697 - Where have You been? - At a rehearsaI. 937 01:30:42,906 --> 01:30:44,074 All right... 938 01:30:44,324 --> 01:30:48,995 Give me a straight answer. Are you in love with Yakin? 939 01:30:50,621 --> 01:30:55,542 - What Yakin? What is it with You? - Don't lie to me. He's your director. 940 01:30:57,377 --> 01:31:00,088 We have no director by that name. 941 01:31:02,591 --> 01:31:05,176 - is it true? - I swear. 942 01:31:06,302 --> 01:31:07,345 Hurray! 943 01:31:30,700 --> 01:31:32,368 Ciao! 944 01:31:32,910 --> 01:31:35,537 Thank you for your attention! 945 01:31:35,913 --> 01:31:37,706 THE END 74116

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