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MOSFILM
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AN ExPERIMENTAL ARTISTIC
ASSOCIATION PRESENTS
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00:00:22,687 --> 00:00:24,773
A NON-SCIENCE-FICTION,
NOT QUITE REALISTIC
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00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:27,901
AND NOT STRICTLY HISTORICAL
FILM
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BASED ON M. BULGAKOV'S PLAY
"IVAN VASSILYEVICH"
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IVAN VASSILYEVICH
CHANGES OCCUPATION
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Written by
V. BAKHNOV, L. GAIDAl
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Directed by
L. GAIDAl
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Directors of Photography
S. POLUYANOV, V. ABRAMOV
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00:00:47,919 --> 00:00:50,004
Production Designer
Ye. KUMANKOV
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00:00:50,505 --> 00:00:52,590
Music by
A. ZATSEPIN
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Starring
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YURI YAKOVLEV
LEONID KURAVLYOV
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ALExANDER DEMYANENKO
SAVELY KRAMAROV
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NATALYA SELEZNYOVA
NATALYA BELOGORTSEVA-KRACHKOVSKAYA
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00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:53,562
NATALYA KUSTINSKAYA
VLADIMIR ETUSH
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00:01:54,688 --> 00:02:00,485
MIKHAIL PUGOVKIN
SERGEY FILIPPOV, and others
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00:03:01,875 --> 00:03:06,671
Long live Tsar Boris Fyodorovich!
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Long live our father, our tsar!
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Glory!
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Damn!
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00:04:16,026 --> 00:04:19,154
Hey, what's the matter?
No electricity again!
23
00:04:19,363 --> 00:04:23,366
It's outrageous!
Timofeyev has burned the fuses again!
24
00:04:25,243 --> 00:04:28,538
- Comrade Timofeyev, when will it end?
- I'm finishing.
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00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:31,582
When will be the end
of your experiments
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which leave our whole building
without electricity?
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There you go.
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00:04:36,629 --> 00:04:40,757
Ivan Vassilyevich, if you knew
what an important invention
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I'm working on, you wouldn't have
said that.
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00:04:43,844 --> 00:04:46,638
Experiments with electricity
should be done at your office,
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00:04:47,013 --> 00:04:51,809
and at home electricity must be used
only for peacefuI, domestic purposes!
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00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:54,020
How many times did I tell you...
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00:04:54,437 --> 00:04:58,148
I'm on leave, so I work at home.
And anyway, my experiments are safe.
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00:04:58,524 --> 00:05:01,777
As the public representative,
I demand that you stop it!
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Today you've burned the fuses,
tomorrow you'll burn the house!
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00:05:07,448 --> 00:05:08,449
STUPID
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00:05:08,616 --> 00:05:11,202
And what is this?
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00:05:11,369 --> 00:05:13,371
You see?
That's the result. Pah!
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00:05:15,372 --> 00:05:19,001
I'll need to raise the voltage.
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00:05:19,543 --> 00:05:24,214
Dangerous! Of course, it's dangerous,
but, as they say, nothing ventured...
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00:06:07,545 --> 00:06:13,134
Your only love
is not so easily found.
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00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:19,139
Our planet's turning,
round and round.
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00:06:19,848 --> 00:06:25,520
The planet's flying
in everyday beat.
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00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:31,943
It's very hard
to fall in love on it.
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00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:37,072
A winter blizzard is raging,
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00:06:37,239 --> 00:06:40,075
And thunderstorms are blazing,
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00:06:40,284 --> 00:06:45,914
And stars in the sky are racing,
and cities din in the rain.
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00:06:46,456 --> 00:06:49,125
And people don't see each other,
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00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:52,253
They just pass by each other,
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00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:55,506
They always lose each other,
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Never to find again.
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00:07:01,178 --> 00:07:06,808
But there's somewhere
my only love,
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My unforgettable,
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00:07:10,019 --> 00:07:13,105
My true big love.
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00:07:13,522 --> 00:07:16,442
I look for it,
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00:07:16,692 --> 00:07:19,194
But in everyday beat
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00:07:19,778 --> 00:07:24,866
It's hard for us to meet.
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00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:30,788
A winter blizzard is raging,
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00:07:31,122 --> 00:07:33,833
And thunderstorms are blazing,
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00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:36,377
And stars in the sky are racing,
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00:07:36,919 --> 00:07:40,088
And cities din in the rain.
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00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:43,258
And people don't see each other,
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00:07:43,508 --> 00:07:46,344
They just pass by each other,
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00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:49,013
They always lose each other,
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00:07:49,430 --> 00:07:55,019
Never to find again.
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00:07:55,769 --> 00:07:58,313
Never to find again.
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00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:20,876
I can imagine what's going to happen!
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00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,253
I hope we can avoid a scandaI!
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00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:26,297
Those scandals are so tiresome.
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00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,217
I was divorced three times.
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00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:33,262
Yes, that's right, three times.
Zyuzin doesn't count.
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00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:36,015
I've never been as nervous as today.
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00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,227
Well, I'm going to do it!
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00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:43,688
Oh, Shurik!
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00:08:44,397 --> 00:08:46,983
Your apparatus is going to kill you!
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00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:51,028
My apparatus, Zinochka, will make me
famous. And you, too.
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00:08:51,696 --> 00:08:52,738
Really?
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00:08:55,574 --> 00:08:57,534
I'm sorry to bother you,
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00:08:57,743 --> 00:09:01,872
but I have terrible news for you.
80
00:09:05,041 --> 00:09:07,627
My gloves have been stolen from me
today.
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00:09:08,253 --> 00:09:11,422
And I fell in love with another man.
Do you understand, Shurik?
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00:09:11,797 --> 00:09:16,468
- Yes, your gloves. What about them?
- Forget the gloves. I love another man.
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00:09:16,677 --> 00:09:19,388
Well, it's done!
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00:09:19,596 --> 00:09:22,307
Only, please, no objections,
and don't make scenes!
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00:09:23,308 --> 00:09:25,810
What?
Are you asking who is the man?
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00:09:26,102 --> 00:09:30,481
You probably think it's Molchanovsky?
No, you're wrong.
87
00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:33,192
Zupperman?
Wrong again.
88
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:36,111
All right!
Let's not beat about the bushes.
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00:09:36,362 --> 00:09:39,490
He is... film director Yakin.
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00:09:40,574 --> 00:09:42,576
Well, well, well.
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00:09:45,578 --> 00:09:49,791
It's strange though. It happens
for the first time in my life.
92
00:09:50,124 --> 00:09:54,503
The man is told that his wife is
leaving him, and he says, well, well.
93
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:57,172
At the very least, it's impolite.
94
00:09:57,381 --> 00:10:01,134
You mean that tall, blond man?
95
00:10:01,593 --> 00:10:05,722
Unbelievable! To show so little
interest in his own wife!
96
00:10:06,181 --> 00:10:10,143
The blond one is Molchanovsky.
Can't you remember it? Molchanovsky.
97
00:10:10,351 --> 00:10:13,979
And Yakin is...
Yakin is very talented!
98
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:17,566
What? You ask
where we're going to live?
99
00:10:18,901 --> 00:10:22,779
Today we're leaving for Gagry
to look for the film's location.
100
00:10:22,946 --> 00:10:27,408
And later, he will be given a flat.
Of course, if he's not Iying.
101
00:10:29,035 --> 00:10:30,661
Sure, he is Iying!
102
00:10:31,454 --> 00:10:33,497
Oh, all this is so ridiculous!
103
00:10:33,664 --> 00:10:36,333
To insult a man because you're
jealous!
104
00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:39,920
He can't be Iying every minute!
105
00:10:42,130 --> 00:10:45,592
During my many sleepless nights,
I've been thinking,
106
00:10:46,009 --> 00:10:51,013
and I came to the conclusion
that we're no match for each other.
107
00:10:51,222 --> 00:10:55,851
Can't you understand, Alexander, that
I live in the world of cinema, of art!
108
00:10:59,605 --> 00:11:02,858
But your calmness
just amazes me!
109
00:11:03,066 --> 00:11:07,987
You know, Shurik, I even feeI like
making a scene.
110
00:11:09,322 --> 00:11:11,115
- No, don't do it.
- You think so?
111
00:11:11,282 --> 00:11:13,034
- I'm sure.
- A-ha.
112
00:11:15,202 --> 00:11:17,037
Goodbye, Shurik.
113
00:11:21,124 --> 00:11:25,712
But don't canceI my house registration.
Who knows what might happen.
114
00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:32,593
Alexander Sergeyevich!
115
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,012
Please, tell Zinaida Mikhailovna
that Rozalia Frantsevna said
116
00:11:35,179 --> 00:11:38,807
that Kapitolina Nikiforovna offered
Anna Ivanovna a fur coat...
117
00:11:39,016 --> 00:11:41,935
Zinaida Mikhailovna has left.
118
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,145
- Where for?
- With her lover.
119
00:11:44,354 --> 00:11:47,649
What do you mean, with her lover?
And you're so calm about it?
120
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:52,028
- You're a very strange man.
- Excuse me, I'm very busy.
121
00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:55,823
You are some character!
122
00:11:55,990 --> 00:11:59,660
If I were your wife,
I would have left, too.
123
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:03,580
If you were my wife,
I would have hanged myself.
124
00:12:05,749 --> 00:12:06,750
You jerk!
125
00:12:08,668 --> 00:12:11,420
Is that the dentaI clinic?
Hallo?
126
00:12:11,629 --> 00:12:13,839
Extension 3-62?
127
00:12:16,925 --> 00:12:23,723
May I speak to Anton Shpak, please?
128
00:12:26,309 --> 00:12:27,810
Anton, that's for you.
129
00:12:27,977 --> 00:12:31,230
- Who's calling?
- A woman.
130
00:12:31,981 --> 00:12:33,733
Keep your mouth open.
131
00:12:34,817 --> 00:12:36,318
Speaking.
132
00:12:36,527 --> 00:12:41,948
Anton Semyonovich? Hello.
At what time do you finish today?
133
00:12:42,491 --> 00:12:48,663
I'm an actress. No, you don't know me,
but I'm dying to meet you.
134
00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:59,590
So you work untiI four?
I'll call again, I'm very persistent.
135
00:13:00,173 --> 00:13:01,633
I'm looking forward to it!
136
00:13:05,011 --> 00:13:06,930
Well, let's continue.
137
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,571
A.S. Shpak
138
00:13:43,922 --> 00:13:46,174
How lucky for me to drop by!
139
00:14:20,414 --> 00:14:25,585
Folks, keep your money in a bank!
140
00:14:25,794 --> 00:14:27,962
Naturally, if you have it!
141
00:14:28,213 --> 00:14:31,215
What do you care about my relations
with my wife?
142
00:14:31,382 --> 00:14:35,094
It's none of your business whether
we're divorcing or not.
143
00:14:35,302 --> 00:14:37,721
That's our personaI matter.
144
00:14:37,888 --> 00:14:42,601
No, that's a public matter. Your
divorces lower our indices.
145
00:14:42,809 --> 00:14:47,147
- What do You want from me?
- Wait untiI the end of the quarter.
146
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,941
Then you may divorce as much
as you like.
147
00:14:50,233 --> 00:14:54,445
When you're talking, Ivan
Vassilyevich, it looks like a raving.
148
00:14:55,237 --> 00:14:57,239
What do you mean?
149
00:14:57,406 --> 00:15:00,117
And about your suspicious machine.
150
00:15:00,284 --> 00:15:03,120
I'm asking you to file an application.
151
00:15:03,328 --> 00:15:06,247
Do it, or we'll file a complaint.
152
00:15:06,414 --> 00:15:10,877
Wait. Wait! There's nothing
suspicious about my apparatus.
153
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:13,754
I simply invented
a time machine.
154
00:15:14,004 --> 00:15:18,092
In other words, I can run through
space and go back to the past.
155
00:15:18,509 --> 00:15:20,552
- Go back to the past?
- Yes, to the past.
156
00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:22,929
These experiments, Alexander,
157
00:15:23,138 --> 00:15:26,599
can be done only by permission
of the appropriate authorities.
158
00:15:26,766 --> 00:15:30,645
Wait, Ivan Vassilyevich.
This apparatus can be very usefuI.
159
00:15:30,853 --> 00:15:32,480
Let me explain.
160
00:15:34,732 --> 00:15:35,941
That's it!
161
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:09,694
And now we're going to test
the time machine.
162
00:17:10,027 --> 00:17:12,780
You're witnessing
a historic event.
163
00:17:13,114 --> 00:17:16,200
First, we'll try a close distance.
164
00:17:16,867 --> 00:17:21,121
Look,
we're going to run through space.
165
00:18:03,702 --> 00:18:05,245
- Did You see it?
- What?
166
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:07,872
- You see?
- What is it?
167
00:18:08,873 --> 00:18:10,750
What happened?
168
00:18:11,334 --> 00:18:14,462
Alexander Sergeyevich,
where is the wall?
169
00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:18,298
What is it? What's going on?
There was a wall here!
170
00:18:18,549 --> 00:18:22,969
Timofeyev, you will answer for it
in court. Inventing such a machine!
171
00:18:23,386 --> 00:18:25,930
Go to hell
with your wall!
172
00:18:26,097 --> 00:18:28,683
- Half a flat has vanished.
- No big deaI.
173
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:31,894
What do you mean, no big deaI?
174
00:18:45,699 --> 00:18:49,786
I've seen some technicaI wonders,
but nothing like that.
175
00:18:53,039 --> 00:18:57,292
- Excuse me, and who are you?
- Are you asking who I am?
176
00:18:57,501 --> 00:19:00,587
- I'm a friend of Anton Shpak.
- And what are you doing in his flat?
177
00:19:00,921 --> 00:19:02,631
What am I doing?
178
00:19:03,006 --> 00:19:04,758
I'm waiting for my friend.
179
00:19:05,091 --> 00:19:08,219
And how did you get into his flat
if he's not here?
180
00:19:08,386 --> 00:19:11,347
Oh, go to hell!
What kind of questions are those?
181
00:19:14,642 --> 00:19:19,354
Never mind. I've gone through time.
I've made it!
182
00:19:19,771 --> 00:19:22,858
Tell me, can you lift
any wall like that?
183
00:19:23,024 --> 00:19:24,109
A wall?!
184
00:19:24,317 --> 00:19:26,444
Your invention is invaluable.
185
00:19:26,694 --> 00:19:28,738
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
186
00:19:31,115 --> 00:19:35,369
Why are you staring at me? There're
no pictures, nor flowers growing on me.
187
00:19:35,536 --> 00:19:40,749
You're wearing the same imported
suede jacket as Shpak does.
188
00:19:40,958 --> 00:19:43,960
Really?
Ajacket? A suede jacket?
189
00:19:44,419 --> 00:19:48,172
Is Shpak the only one in Moscow
who has a suede jacket?
190
00:19:48,423 --> 00:19:50,341
What is your name?
191
00:19:51,425 --> 00:19:55,387
I'm an artiste of all big and small
academic theatres.
192
00:19:55,554 --> 00:20:00,684
And my name is too famous
to pronounce it.
193
00:20:00,892 --> 00:20:04,437
Do you want to get back to Shpak's
room? I can open the wall for you.
194
00:20:04,646 --> 00:20:06,689
I'd better take a look at your
machine.
195
00:20:06,898 --> 00:20:09,817
- I like it.
- I'm very glad!
196
00:20:10,026 --> 00:20:12,236
You're my first witness.
197
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:15,447
It's my first time
being a witness.
198
00:20:16,407 --> 00:20:20,160
Why are you staring? You're going to
rub a hole through me with your eyes.
199
00:20:20,702 --> 00:20:23,538
Do you realize
what you have just seen?
200
00:20:23,747 --> 00:20:25,790
You bet! But tell me...
201
00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:31,712
Can you lift a wall like that
in a store?
202
00:20:32,129 --> 00:20:35,966
- My, what a usefuI invention!
- You came to Shapk's with a recorder?
203
00:20:36,175 --> 00:20:38,218
Forget the wall.
204
00:20:38,427 --> 00:20:42,722
The most important thing is that
through walls I can pierce space.
205
00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:48,228
I can enter time.
I can go 200, 300 years back!
206
00:20:49,854 --> 00:20:52,773
You have ignored my question
about the tape recorder.
207
00:20:52,982 --> 00:20:55,025
Darn you!
208
00:20:55,234 --> 00:21:01,114
What a machine! A breakthrough in
science and technology! Darn you again!
209
00:21:01,323 --> 00:21:04,618
I can't wait!
Let's go back into the past
210
00:21:04,993 --> 00:21:07,287
and see the ancient Moscow!
211
00:21:08,538 --> 00:21:10,915
What are you saying, Timofeyev?
212
00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:14,502
Before seeing the ancient Moscow,
get a permission from the authorities!
213
00:21:14,710 --> 00:21:16,086
Just a minute!
214
00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:21,133
If you mess again with the academic's
tests and stop technologicaI progress...
215
00:21:21,383 --> 00:21:24,344
- I'm going to...
- Calm down! Calm down! I got it.
216
00:21:25,011 --> 00:21:26,012
Do it.
217
00:21:28,306 --> 00:21:31,392
- I'm so nervous.
- Don't chicken! I'm here!
218
00:22:20,729 --> 00:22:22,856
...to the heavenly abode...
219
00:22:23,565 --> 00:22:26,484
...to the Reverend Father Superior,
Kuzma...
220
00:22:27,068 --> 00:22:28,736
Kuzma...
221
00:22:29,070 --> 00:22:32,156
the Tsar and Grand Duke of all Russia...
222
00:22:32,323 --> 00:22:35,826
Of all Russia...
223
00:22:36,327 --> 00:22:38,829
is bowing low.
224
00:22:44,334 --> 00:22:46,294
Go on writing.
225
00:22:47,670 --> 00:22:52,049
Look!
That's Ivan the Terrible!
226
00:22:52,550 --> 00:22:54,218
You're kidding!
227
00:23:01,892 --> 00:23:03,768
Mamma mia!
228
00:23:10,399 --> 00:23:13,152
The demons!
The demons!
229
00:23:13,903 --> 00:23:15,446
The demons!
230
00:23:18,198 --> 00:23:19,992
Away!
Stay away!
231
00:23:22,619 --> 00:23:26,915
Woe is me, the sinner!
Woe is me, cursed murderer!
232
00:23:27,123 --> 00:23:29,125
The eviI spirit!
233
00:23:29,417 --> 00:23:33,170
- Wait! Where are you going? Wait!
- Go away, vanish, eviI spirit!
234
00:23:48,810 --> 00:23:51,771
- Who are You calling?
- The police.
235
00:23:51,938 --> 00:23:56,692
- Put down the phone.
- What? What do you mean?
236
00:23:57,067 --> 00:24:00,445
- The phone! Put down the phone!
- Why? I won't!
237
00:24:00,654 --> 00:24:03,156
Put down the phone, I say!
238
00:24:03,406 --> 00:24:05,408
- Easy! Easy!
- I'll crush you, big hat!
239
00:24:05,575 --> 00:24:07,744
Where are the demons?
240
00:24:18,462 --> 00:24:19,546
Get them!
241
00:24:39,439 --> 00:24:41,316
Wait! Wait!
242
00:25:34,073 --> 00:25:38,410
They've bricked me up!
They've bricked me up, the demons!
243
00:25:43,039 --> 00:25:45,834
That's what the life-giving cross
can do!
244
00:26:08,062 --> 00:26:09,897
And where's the tsar?
245
00:26:13,818 --> 00:26:15,611
You shouldn't drink so much.
246
00:26:29,832 --> 00:26:31,834
Where are they?
247
00:26:33,627 --> 00:26:35,129
Hurry! Move it!
248
00:26:51,477 --> 00:26:53,354
Why are they yelling?
249
00:26:53,521 --> 00:26:56,357
They cannot yell.
They're all dead.
250
00:27:02,904 --> 00:27:05,281
See how those dead can shoot?
251
00:27:05,490 --> 00:27:08,201
- Open up, dog!
- Whom is he addressing?
252
00:27:08,409 --> 00:27:11,454
- You.
- Me?!
253
00:27:42,482 --> 00:27:46,778
Oh, I feeI so bad!
Bespeak again, aren't you a demon?
254
00:27:46,945 --> 00:27:49,906
I told you already.
I'm not a demon!
255
00:27:50,114 --> 00:27:53,034
Don't dare Iying to me!
You're Iying to a tsar!
256
00:27:53,326 --> 00:27:57,121
Not by human wish, but by God's will,
am I the tsar!
257
00:27:57,287 --> 00:28:00,249
Very well!
I see that you're a tsar...
258
00:28:00,457 --> 00:28:04,628
Alas, alas, I'm the tsar
Ivan Vassilyevich!
259
00:28:05,295 --> 00:28:08,381
Send me back, magician!
260
00:28:08,548 --> 00:28:11,842
I cannot! You see,
because of this pole-axe!
261
00:28:13,886 --> 00:28:16,305
Thank you!
The transistors have burned,
262
00:28:16,639 --> 00:28:20,058
so I cannot send you back
untiI I buy the new ones.
263
00:28:20,892 --> 00:28:24,938
- Buy them, then.
- The stores are closed for lunch.
264
00:28:25,230 --> 00:28:28,066
Oh, woe is me!
265
00:28:28,233 --> 00:28:32,278
- Take it easy, Ivan Vassilyevich!
- Oh, woe is me!
266
00:28:33,779 --> 00:28:37,533
- do You drink vodka?
- Yes, the anise one!
267
00:28:37,741 --> 00:28:38,784
Good.
268
00:28:39,910 --> 00:28:42,162
Unfortunately, there's no anise vodka.
269
00:28:45,457 --> 00:28:49,377
I say, there's no anise vodka,
only Stolichnaya!
270
00:28:52,171 --> 00:28:53,506
Drink it!
271
00:28:54,256 --> 00:28:57,343
- Taste it from My cup.
- Why?
272
00:28:57,551 --> 00:28:59,303
Go on, taste it...
273
00:29:00,095 --> 00:29:02,931
You think I want to poison you?
274
00:29:03,890 --> 00:29:06,184
We don't do that any more,
275
00:29:06,351 --> 00:29:09,729
and in our day, you'd sooner get
poisoned with canned food, than vodka.
276
00:29:09,896 --> 00:29:11,063
Don't be afraid, drink up!
277
00:29:13,482 --> 00:29:16,277
- Let you be healthy, Boyar!
- Your health!
278
00:29:20,322 --> 00:29:24,534
- Was it your housekeeper Who made it?
- Let's suppose so. Eat something!
279
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,588
- Who made this machine? You?
- Yes.
280
00:29:38,005 --> 00:29:41,717
I had a man like you.
He made wings.
281
00:29:42,092 --> 00:29:43,593
- Well?
- What do you mean, well?
282
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,971
I put him on a gun-powder barreI.
It made him fly! Ha-ha!
283
00:29:47,805 --> 00:29:49,724
Why did you do it?
284
00:29:49,891 --> 00:29:52,977
No, no. I don't drink. I don't drink,
Ivan Vassilyevich. Thank you.
285
00:29:53,227 --> 00:29:55,604
- Don't you have any respect for me?
- For God's sake, Ivan Vassilyevich!
286
00:29:55,813 --> 00:29:59,274
- Then drink.
- Just a little. Enough! Enough!
287
00:30:00,859 --> 00:30:04,571
- Well, be healthy!
- Your health!
288
00:30:10,701 --> 00:30:13,079
So, you live here?
289
00:30:13,454 --> 00:30:17,499
- Well, very cramped quarters.
- Sure, it's not like tsar's chambers.
290
00:30:17,875 --> 00:30:20,961
- Yes, that's right.
- Anyway, it's an individuaI flat.
291
00:30:21,211 --> 00:30:24,089
And your woman,
is she at church?
292
00:30:24,339 --> 00:30:29,135
My woman eloped today with
her lover, Yakin, to the Caucasus.
293
00:30:29,302 --> 00:30:31,679
You are kidding?!
Did you send men to catch them?
294
00:30:32,305 --> 00:30:36,725
When they catch them, first thing
have Yakin impaled, and then...
295
00:30:36,976 --> 00:30:39,895
Why?
They're in love with each other.
296
00:30:40,145 --> 00:30:43,273
I wish them every happiness.
297
00:30:47,735 --> 00:30:50,947
How kind you are!
298
00:30:51,614 --> 00:30:53,657
Oh, God! What's going on?
299
00:30:54,033 --> 00:30:57,619
I sit here, while the Swedes
are taking Kem there.
300
00:30:57,786 --> 00:31:00,872
Send me back, Boyar.
301
00:31:01,081 --> 00:31:04,668
Go and buy those transistors.
302
00:31:05,460 --> 00:31:06,795
Just a minute.
303
00:31:10,923 --> 00:31:14,427
I'm busy.
Call me later.
304
00:31:15,177 --> 00:31:17,221
- I'm going with you.
- Right onto the street?
305
00:31:17,429 --> 00:31:20,223
No, Ivan Vassilyevich,
wait for me here.
306
00:31:20,390 --> 00:31:23,643
Hurry up, though, Boyar!
307
00:31:23,852 --> 00:31:27,021
I'm in a hurry myself.
I must rescue those two, as well.
308
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,565
What's going to happen to them?
309
00:31:29,774 --> 00:31:32,902
- They'll be beheaded, that's all.
- That's all?
310
00:31:33,361 --> 00:31:35,404
To hell with them!
311
00:31:45,663 --> 00:31:47,332
Take the demons alive!
312
00:32:58,147 --> 00:32:59,565
Wait!
313
00:34:49,749 --> 00:34:51,042
Eureka!
314
00:34:52,335 --> 00:34:54,378
The tsar's garb!
315
00:34:55,045 --> 00:34:58,674
Put them on.
You'll be the tsar!
316
00:34:59,258 --> 00:35:00,425
No way!
317
00:35:01,218 --> 00:35:03,303
Put them on, or I'll kill you!
318
00:36:13,909 --> 00:36:17,496
Talk to me, my dear guitar,
319
00:36:17,830 --> 00:36:20,457
My friend of seven strings.
320
00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:24,210
All my heart is open ajar,
321
00:36:25,170 --> 00:36:28,131
And the night with moonlight sings.
322
00:36:28,423 --> 00:36:32,385
Well, once,
then another time,
323
00:36:32,635 --> 00:36:36,972
And again many, many, many times.
324
00:36:37,848 --> 00:36:43,228
Yes, once and again, and again
many, many times.
325
00:36:43,812 --> 00:36:50,234
Blue cornflowers in the field,
A long path lies ahead.
326
00:36:51,777 --> 00:36:57,991
My heart is torn between the guilt
And the stars unread.
327
00:36:58,575 --> 00:37:01,745
Well, once, then another time,
328
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:06,458
And again many, many, many times.
329
00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:12,546
Yes, once and again, and again
many, many times.
330
00:37:13,714 --> 00:37:17,134
- Well, how do I look?
- Not like him! You're a fake!
331
00:37:17,343 --> 00:37:21,263
Let me tie up your teeth at least.
You're a pain in the neck!
332
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:29,562
- the other tsar looks smarter.
- Don't get personaI, please!
333
00:37:32,648 --> 00:37:35,693
Sit down!
Occupy yourself with matters of state.
334
00:37:35,901 --> 00:37:37,820
Take the stick.
335
00:37:38,112 --> 00:37:40,280
- Go ahead, dictate.
- Dictate what?
336
00:37:40,781 --> 00:37:43,241
The tsar, repeat it,
of all Russia...
337
00:37:43,450 --> 00:37:45,493
The tsar, repeat it,
of all Russia...
338
00:37:45,869 --> 00:37:48,246
Don't repeat "repeat it"!
Quiet!
339
00:37:53,209 --> 00:37:56,754
So you say:
"The tsar and Grand Duke..."
340
00:37:58,130 --> 00:38:00,799
I wrote it, comma.
341
00:38:01,591 --> 00:38:04,094
Where the hell
is our secretary?
342
00:38:05,428 --> 00:38:07,388
What's up, comrades?
343
00:38:08,181 --> 00:38:11,225
I'm asking you,
what's up?
344
00:38:17,439 --> 00:38:22,944
Who's that parasite who dared to
break the door in the tsar's quarters?
345
00:38:23,153 --> 00:38:26,781
Did they put it here
for you to break it?
346
00:38:30,118 --> 00:38:35,915
Go on, Your Majesty!
"... is bowing low...", semicolon.
347
00:38:38,041 --> 00:38:41,128
I'm waiting for the answer
to my question!
348
00:38:41,336 --> 00:38:46,341
The tsar! The tsar's here!
He's here!
349
00:38:47,675 --> 00:38:49,469
The tsar's here!
350
00:38:50,011 --> 00:38:51,554
Sit!
351
00:38:52,054 --> 00:38:54,849
Where else can he be?
The tsar's in his place!
352
00:38:55,349 --> 00:38:58,060
Have mercy, don't put me to death,
our kind sire!
353
00:38:58,310 --> 00:39:02,189
The demons grabbed you,
we chased them all over the palace!
354
00:39:02,397 --> 00:39:05,734
And, suddenly, the demons vanished!
355
00:39:06,109 --> 00:39:09,946
They were there, we don't deny it.
But they self-destructed.
356
00:39:10,363 --> 00:39:13,908
Please, stop this ridiculous panic!
Who are you?
357
00:39:14,867 --> 00:39:18,996
I'm Theophanes, a clerk
at the foreign office.
358
00:39:19,329 --> 00:39:21,790
All right, Fedya.
You may stay here.
359
00:39:21,998 --> 00:39:26,419
The rest, please, leave the tsar's
office. In other words, out!
360
00:39:27,545 --> 00:39:29,422
Bark at them!
361
00:39:29,672 --> 00:39:31,465
Out!
362
00:39:37,763 --> 00:39:39,806
Have mercy, Sire!
363
00:39:40,015 --> 00:39:43,268
Stop your somersaults! You did it
once, you did it twice. It's enough.
364
00:39:45,812 --> 00:39:47,855
What's the matter with you, Sire?
365
00:39:51,567 --> 00:39:53,319
Have you taken ill?
366
00:39:55,196 --> 00:39:58,323
Don't sit like a dummy!
I can't work here all alone!
367
00:39:59,324 --> 00:40:00,951
I've got a toothache.
368
00:40:01,368 --> 00:40:03,495
He's got periostitis, a gumboiI.
369
00:40:03,995 --> 00:40:06,164
- And you stop pestering the tsar!
- Yes, sir.
370
00:40:06,331 --> 00:40:10,042
Fedya, enough of your bowing! Are
you going to fall like that all night?
371
00:40:12,628 --> 00:40:16,006
- Nice to meet You.
- Don't be angry, Boyar...
372
00:40:16,215 --> 00:40:19,468
but I don't recognize you.
Are you a prince?
373
00:40:19,676 --> 00:40:23,388
Me? Well, I might be.
What so strange about it?
374
00:40:24,973 --> 00:40:28,726
How do you happen to be in the tsar's
quarters? You weren't here before.
375
00:40:29,769 --> 00:40:34,273
- Oh, Sire, who is he?
- He's a friend of Anton Shpak's.
376
00:40:34,815 --> 00:40:36,400
What a fooI!
377
00:40:38,485 --> 00:40:42,739
The tsar says that I'm Prince
Miloslavsky. Are you satisfied?
378
00:40:43,698 --> 00:40:47,243
- Oh my! Stay away!
- What's the matter? What is it?
379
00:40:47,410 --> 00:40:51,122
- You've been executed!
- That's news to me!
380
00:40:52,039 --> 00:40:57,795
By the tsar's order, you were hanged
on your own gate three days ago.
381
00:41:04,592 --> 00:41:08,179
Well, thanks!
I was hanged by your order.
382
00:41:08,554 --> 00:41:10,973
Help me out, or we'll screw it.
383
00:41:11,474 --> 00:41:13,809
Why don't you say something, bastard?
384
00:41:14,101 --> 00:41:17,855
Oh, now I remember!
It was not I who was hanged.
385
00:41:18,147 --> 00:41:20,649
What was his first name, the one
whom they hanged?
386
00:41:20,857 --> 00:41:24,194
- Vanka the Robber.
- You see? And I'm George.
387
00:41:24,361 --> 00:41:28,031
That bandit was just my namesake.
Am I right?
388
00:41:28,364 --> 00:41:30,408
Am I right?
389
00:41:30,616 --> 00:41:32,410
Please...
390
00:41:34,578 --> 00:41:37,664
Why are they shouting there?
Fedya, go and find out.
391
00:41:37,831 --> 00:41:39,041
Yes, sir.
392
00:41:41,043 --> 00:41:45,296
The tsar!
The tsar!
393
00:41:46,381 --> 00:41:50,301
Go! Go! Score! Score!
394
00:41:50,551 --> 00:41:55,014
The common people wish to see their
tsar who was saved. They're rejoicing.
395
00:41:55,181 --> 00:41:57,307
Oh, no, it's out of the question.
396
00:41:57,599 --> 00:42:00,602
We have no time for that.
We'll rejoice later.
397
00:42:04,189 --> 00:42:07,025
They have to be sent away at once,
understand?
398
00:42:09,444 --> 00:42:11,279
Still wouldn't say anything, damn him!
399
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:17,576
- Fedya, I hope there's no war going?
- Of course, there is, my benefactor.
400
00:42:18,035 --> 00:42:21,913
The Swedes are biting us, the Khan of
Crimea plays nasty on Izyum Road.
401
00:42:22,247 --> 00:42:23,873
- You don't say!
- Yes.
402
00:42:24,082 --> 00:42:27,043
- Why do You Let them?
- Have mercy, Sire!
403
00:42:31,005 --> 00:42:32,798
Get up, Fyodor.
404
00:42:33,966 --> 00:42:36,260
I don't blame you...
Sit down.
405
00:42:36,969 --> 00:42:39,972
Write down the tsar's edict.
406
00:42:40,222 --> 00:42:43,391
I order
to send an army
407
00:42:43,767 --> 00:42:48,896
to Izyum Road
and rout the Khan of Crimea.
408
00:42:49,689 --> 00:42:52,483
- Period.
- Period.
409
00:42:57,905 --> 00:43:00,157
Sign it, our great tsar.
410
00:43:00,449 --> 00:43:04,077
I have no right to sign
historic documents.
411
00:43:09,874 --> 00:43:12,543
No, I have no right to sign...
412
00:43:19,967 --> 00:43:24,929
Acting for the tsar, I. Bunsha.
413
00:43:26,139 --> 00:43:27,432
Here, Fedya.
414
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,351
And tell them
not to hurry back.
415
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:34,146
Tell them to capture Kazan on their
way back, not to go there twice.
416
00:43:34,313 --> 00:43:39,443
How come? Kazan is ours.
We've taken it long ago.
417
00:43:39,610 --> 00:43:40,819
- Really?
- Sure.
418
00:43:40,986 --> 00:43:44,072
You were too hasty to do it.
All right, all right, then.
419
00:43:44,281 --> 00:43:47,992
Since it's already taken, let it be.
Why give it back?
420
00:43:53,914 --> 00:43:55,624
Well, go!
421
00:43:58,210 --> 00:44:00,712
And in five minutes I don't want to
see either hide or hair of them here!
422
00:44:02,714 --> 00:44:07,927
Mount your horses!
423
00:44:08,886 --> 00:44:10,263
Start a song!
424
00:44:18,228 --> 00:44:22,274
Early in the spring,
By a fir-tree all green,
425
00:44:22,566 --> 00:44:25,985
Vanyusha's bidding farewell to his
love.
426
00:44:26,361 --> 00:44:29,947
Clad in a shirt of maiI,
He's saying to his gaI:
427
00:44:30,406 --> 00:44:33,993
"Don't cry, Marusya, don't cry,
my dove".
428
00:44:34,201 --> 00:44:37,955
Marusya says nothing, only weeps,
429
00:44:38,163 --> 00:44:39,790
Her sorrow
430
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,375
Holds her heart in grips.
431
00:44:42,626 --> 00:44:47,630
Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes,
so dear,
432
00:44:47,839 --> 00:44:50,591
Drop the tears right onto his spear.
433
00:44:50,842 --> 00:44:54,595
Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes,
so dear,
434
00:44:54,803 --> 00:44:58,640
Drop a sea of tears,
435
00:44:58,807 --> 00:45:01,226
Drop-drop-drop
Right onto his spear.
436
00:45:05,146 --> 00:45:08,316
In winter, cold 'n' severe,
Again under the fir-tree,
437
00:45:08,691 --> 00:45:12,695
Vanyusha's being greeted by his love.
438
00:45:12,862 --> 00:45:16,615
Clad in a shirt of maiI,
He's saying to his gaI:
439
00:45:16,865 --> 00:45:20,410
"I've come to you, I'm back, my dove".
440
00:45:20,702 --> 00:45:24,581
Marusya is so happy, she weeps,
441
00:45:24,831 --> 00:45:28,334
Like a psaltery,
HerjoyfuI heartjust sweeps.
442
00:45:29,335 --> 00:45:33,130
Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes,
so dear,
443
00:45:33,339 --> 00:45:36,258
Drop the tears right onto his spear.
444
00:45:37,342 --> 00:45:40,929
Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes,
so dear,
445
00:45:41,471 --> 00:45:43,807
drop so sweet a tear...
446
00:45:44,224 --> 00:45:45,517
Drop, drop
447
00:45:45,850 --> 00:45:48,102
Right onto his spear.
448
00:45:56,985 --> 00:45:59,029
Drop, drop, drop!
449
00:46:04,492 --> 00:46:08,371
Marusya is so happy, she weeps
450
00:46:08,579 --> 00:46:12,708
Like a psaltery,
HerjoyfuI heartjust sweeps.
451
00:46:13,042 --> 00:46:15,252
Well, we got things going!
452
00:46:15,961 --> 00:46:19,214
Why doesn't the inventor turn
his time machine back?
453
00:46:19,381 --> 00:46:23,176
- What a scandaI awaits me at home!
- Why?
454
00:46:23,385 --> 00:46:27,513
- I didn't tell Ulyuana where I went.
- Oh, yes, of course.
455
00:46:28,014 --> 00:46:32,476
We couldn't care less,
We couldn't care less,
456
00:46:32,685 --> 00:46:36,188
Though owls and wolves
Make us reaI wuss...
457
00:46:37,356 --> 00:46:42,319
Alexander Sergeyevich! I'm sorry
to bother you during a family crisis.
458
00:46:42,527 --> 00:46:46,698
Did Ivan Vassilyevich drop by?
They're looking for him everywhere.
459
00:46:47,740 --> 00:46:51,202
We couldn't care less...
We firmly believe...
460
00:47:00,210 --> 00:47:02,254
CLOSED FOR INVENTORY
461
00:47:11,012 --> 00:47:14,181
CLOSED FOR REDECORATION
462
00:47:55,135 --> 00:47:57,179
What a scoundreI!
463
00:47:58,555 --> 00:48:03,393
I shouldn't have confessed
to this saintly man!
464
00:48:06,646 --> 00:48:08,690
Shurik, are you home?
465
00:48:11,025 --> 00:48:12,068
Shurik!
466
00:48:23,078 --> 00:48:24,120
Shurik!
467
00:48:43,847 --> 00:48:45,015
What is that?
468
00:48:48,768 --> 00:48:52,897
Oh, I've taken the bag of that
bastard, Yakin.
469
00:48:53,314 --> 00:48:54,732
FILM STUDIO
470
00:48:57,985 --> 00:49:01,571
First, this hystericaI woman
made a scene on the set,
471
00:49:03,823 --> 00:49:07,744
and then she mixed up our suitcases.
All this just an hour before our plane!
472
00:49:07,952 --> 00:49:11,956
Karp Savelyevich!
I can't believe how lucky I am.
473
00:49:23,633 --> 00:49:25,969
Wait for me and I'll be back.
474
00:49:36,478 --> 00:49:39,690
Hello? Anyuta, you won't believe it!
475
00:49:40,065 --> 00:49:43,151
I'm flying to Gagry
with Yakin.
476
00:49:43,860 --> 00:49:47,322
Zinaida Mikhailovna, I think
you realize
477
00:49:47,697 --> 00:49:51,701
that it's all over between us
after what you've done at the studio.
478
00:49:51,867 --> 00:49:54,829
Karp Savelyevich,
you're a scoundreI!
479
00:49:54,995 --> 00:49:58,248
Please, return my bag, and here's
yours.
480
00:49:59,374 --> 00:50:02,377
- I hope that all My things are in it?
- What?
481
00:50:05,547 --> 00:50:08,299
Oh, you bastard! You jerk!
482
00:50:08,508 --> 00:50:13,554
I left my husband, that saintly man
with all the accommodations,
483
00:50:13,888 --> 00:50:16,056
a genius, an inventor,
484
00:50:16,307 --> 00:50:18,684
for this scoundreI...
485
00:50:18,851 --> 00:50:21,895
My goodness, such brilliant lines!
486
00:50:22,104 --> 00:50:24,439
You haven't heard reaI lines yet!
487
00:50:24,981 --> 00:50:27,192
And two hours before our leaving,
488
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,070
I find him with some witch,
489
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,615
whom he's holding by her hand,
490
00:50:34,990 --> 00:50:39,995
and behaving
like a two-bitjerk.
491
00:50:40,203 --> 00:50:42,247
We were rehearsing a scene.
492
00:50:42,789 --> 00:50:46,918
This is my professionaI duty.
Profession de foi.
493
00:50:47,168 --> 00:50:49,462
Enough! I'm fed up!
494
00:50:50,463 --> 00:50:52,465
I'm leaving you
495
00:50:52,631 --> 00:50:56,927
for director Budimir Kosoy
and his production of "Boris Godunov".
496
00:50:57,261 --> 00:50:59,763
Kosoy is a fake.
497
00:51:00,389 --> 00:51:04,517
And you're a failure!
For him, I'm going to play a tsarina.
498
00:51:04,726 --> 00:51:08,146
Kosoy hasn't yet found anyone
for the part of Ivan the Terrible.
499
00:51:08,396 --> 00:51:11,065
What?
No Ivan the Terrible?
500
00:51:12,275 --> 00:51:15,444
- But I've already rehearsed with him!
- Where?
501
00:51:15,653 --> 00:51:19,239
Here!
Right in this room!
502
00:51:19,448 --> 00:51:22,325
And who's playing Tsar Boris?
Who?
503
00:51:22,993 --> 00:51:25,328
What Tsar Boris?
504
00:51:26,412 --> 00:51:29,499
- Boriska?
- What is it?
505
00:51:29,707 --> 00:51:33,419
- Boriska is to become a tsar?
- What? Are you really rehearsing?
506
00:51:34,086 --> 00:51:38,257
That's how he, sly fox, is paying
for the good I've done him?
507
00:51:38,590 --> 00:51:42,135
He wants to be a tsar
and take all tsardom in his hand!
508
00:51:42,302 --> 00:51:44,721
Death, that's what he deserves!
509
00:51:45,180 --> 00:51:49,684
Oh, my God, what a character!
Bravo! Bravo!
510
00:51:51,102 --> 00:51:52,978
Please, go on!
511
00:51:54,063 --> 00:51:57,357
Why did you hurt this Boyar woman,
you lowly man?
512
00:51:57,733 --> 00:52:01,611
It's great! It's amazing!
He's a genius!
513
00:52:01,945 --> 00:52:05,657
Listen, I can't recognize you in your
makeup. Who are you?
514
00:52:06,199 --> 00:52:08,701
Sergey Bondarchuk?
No.
515
00:52:09,702 --> 00:52:12,788
Oh, you're Yuri Nikulin!
No, no, no.
516
00:52:16,166 --> 00:52:17,960
Oh, my God!
517
00:52:19,795 --> 00:52:22,797
Innokenty Smoktunovsky!
518
00:52:24,257 --> 00:52:25,425
Kesha!
519
00:52:28,720 --> 00:52:30,805
Why didn't you tell me?
520
00:52:31,138 --> 00:52:35,476
- You vagabond, you vile shrimp!
- Are you crazy?
521
00:52:36,935 --> 00:52:38,979
There, get it,
son of a bitch!
522
00:52:40,522 --> 00:52:42,524
Oh, my God!
523
00:52:42,732 --> 00:52:46,319
You scoundreI! Son of a bitch!
Damned adulterer!
524
00:52:46,528 --> 00:52:48,988
He is a reaI tsar!
525
00:52:50,615 --> 00:52:54,243
Help! Somebody! Call the police!
526
00:52:55,119 --> 00:52:57,830
On your knees, you worm!
527
00:52:58,413 --> 00:53:01,666
I've caught you, Yakin! Adulterer
and son of a bitch!
528
00:53:01,917 --> 00:53:06,629
Pray, son of a bitch!
This is your last prayer!
529
00:53:07,088 --> 00:53:11,259
- Oh, you're rehearsing?
- Yes, we're rehearsing.
530
00:53:13,177 --> 00:53:16,638
What do you mean, rehearsing?
Call the police!
531
00:53:16,972 --> 00:53:20,267
- Where are You going?
- I'm here. I'm here.
532
00:53:20,517 --> 00:53:22,769
You act very well!
533
00:53:22,978 --> 00:53:26,314
And the tsar looks very authentic...
534
00:53:28,149 --> 00:53:30,193
He looks just like Bunsha.
535
00:53:31,944 --> 00:53:37,241
I've been robbed, Zinaida Mikhailovna.
I'm waiting for the police with dogs.
536
00:53:37,908 --> 00:53:39,618
Who do you belong to?
537
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:44,122
Excuse me, comrade actor,
but what do you mean, "belong"?
538
00:53:44,331 --> 00:53:47,250
- Whose serf are You?
- Sorry, but I don't understand you.
539
00:53:48,209 --> 00:53:50,545
A very stupid serf!
540
00:53:50,753 --> 00:53:54,465
Excuse me, but why do you keep
calling me a serf?
541
00:53:54,715 --> 00:53:57,801
- Where Did You get that word?
- It's from the part he's playing.
542
00:53:58,051 --> 00:54:01,304
That part is denigrating!
Please, don't apply it to me!
543
00:54:01,847 --> 00:54:05,558
Oh, God! Some apartment house!
They rob you, they call you names!
544
00:54:05,725 --> 00:54:09,062
We'll never win the honorary title of
a house of cultured communaI living.
545
00:54:09,479 --> 00:54:11,731
This is an outrage! An outrage!
546
00:54:12,481 --> 00:54:16,527
Well, lascivious shrimp, beg the Boyar
woman if she giveth you life or death!
547
00:54:16,777 --> 00:54:20,030
- Life.
- Life. Life.
548
00:54:20,197 --> 00:54:22,240
Be mercifuI, O great tsar!
549
00:54:22,824 --> 00:54:23,992
Life?
550
00:54:26,035 --> 00:54:29,205
Be it your way.
551
00:54:34,335 --> 00:54:38,672
Listen to me, Karp,
but, please, don't get excited.
552
00:54:39,423 --> 00:54:42,008
This is the reaI Ivan the Terrible!
553
00:54:44,803 --> 00:54:47,680
Do you remember I was telling you
about the time machine?
554
00:54:47,847 --> 00:54:51,309
Well, Shurik did succeed with
that experiment!
555
00:54:58,649 --> 00:55:02,694
- But he could have killed me!
- And would have done good!
556
00:55:03,987 --> 00:55:05,739
It's crazy!
557
00:55:06,531 --> 00:55:11,035
What do you mean, Ivan the Terrible?
He's been long dead!
558
00:55:11,327 --> 00:55:14,205
- Who's dead?
- I didn't mean you.
559
00:55:14,538 --> 00:55:17,332
I mean the other one,
the one who's been dead...
560
00:55:27,258 --> 00:55:29,677
- Did You seduce the Boyar woman?
- Yes, I did.
561
00:55:31,095 --> 00:55:34,890
I am he... that liveth...
562
00:55:35,349 --> 00:55:40,187
What do you mean, you liveth,
vile dog? Look at yourself!
563
00:55:40,437 --> 00:55:41,438
Liveth!
564
00:55:41,605 --> 00:55:45,233
- Help me. Say something in Slavonic.
- Thy!
565
00:55:46,442 --> 00:55:49,529
Thy... thy cherub.
566
00:55:49,946 --> 00:55:52,448
Your Excellency, have mercy!
567
00:55:53,032 --> 00:55:55,159
You have misunderstood me.
568
00:55:56,744 --> 00:55:59,079
How can I understand you,
if you don't say anything?
569
00:55:59,830 --> 00:56:02,332
I don't know foreign languages,
your highness.
570
00:56:03,875 --> 00:56:07,086
- do You love this Boyar woman?
- I'm crazy about her!
571
00:56:09,255 --> 00:56:12,508
Look at her! Beauteous to behold,
572
00:56:12,675 --> 00:56:16,595
crimson in her lips, crescents in her
brows!
573
00:56:17,513 --> 00:56:20,432
- What more do you want, dog?
- Nothing!
574
00:56:20,599 --> 00:56:23,685
Then marry her, fooI!
The prince is letting her go.
575
00:56:23,893 --> 00:56:26,312
I'm asking for your hand,
Zinaida Mikhailovna!
576
00:56:28,856 --> 00:56:33,235
Hello? Galya? You're going to fall
down! I've got great news!
577
00:56:33,402 --> 00:56:36,071
Yakin has left his witch,
578
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,407
and we're going to Gagry.
579
00:56:38,740 --> 00:56:43,536
Well, you sinning beard! Should I
hear that you've done something...
580
00:56:43,745 --> 00:56:46,080
- I swear!
- Don't interrupt the tsar!
581
00:56:46,247 --> 00:56:50,376
- Yes, Sire!
- I'm giving you one of my coats.
582
00:56:51,335 --> 00:56:56,590
- Thank him! Thank him!
- Thou art... I thank thee humbly!
583
00:56:59,384 --> 00:57:01,219
Sire!
584
00:57:01,428 --> 00:57:03,680
You can't stay here
looking like this!
585
00:57:05,515 --> 00:57:07,809
People might think I don't know what.
586
00:57:08,101 --> 00:57:13,606
Oh, God Almighty!
I forgot where I am, O Lord!
587
00:57:14,106 --> 00:57:15,107
I've forgotten everything!
588
00:57:15,274 --> 00:57:19,278
You must change your clothes,
Ivan Vassilyevich!
589
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:24,449
Oh, the demons' garb!
A temptation...
590
00:57:25,533 --> 00:57:31,414
My mind is all confused.
The coat, the Tsar Ivan the Terrible...
591
00:57:31,664 --> 00:57:36,168
Stop being so fidgety! Well, it is
Ivan the Terrible. So what? Big deaI!
592
00:57:36,585 --> 00:57:38,962
You had better go
and help the tsar change.
593
00:57:39,129 --> 00:57:40,339
Yes, ma'am.
594
00:57:42,549 --> 00:57:45,468
Hello? Vava?
You'll never believe it!
595
00:57:47,345 --> 00:57:48,554
Oh, my God!
596
00:57:53,476 --> 00:57:55,978
He looks so much like our Bunsha!
597
00:57:58,438 --> 00:58:00,941
- Pah!
- It looks very good on you.
598
00:58:01,108 --> 00:58:04,402
- Dear Tsar, we must go.
- Perchance... we shalt...
599
00:58:04,944 --> 00:58:07,780
We have a plane to catch.
600
00:58:08,990 --> 00:58:10,908
Godspeed!
601
00:58:11,117 --> 00:58:13,369
May we thank you for everything?
602
00:58:14,078 --> 00:58:18,999
You're a very spirited man!
603
00:58:40,435 --> 00:58:41,603
Hello? Shurochka?
604
00:58:41,770 --> 00:58:44,856
Can you imagine? Yakin
fell for me like a silly boy.
605
00:58:45,023 --> 00:58:50,695
He proposed, and we're leaving
for our honeymoon. Many kisses.
606
00:58:51,779 --> 00:58:52,988
Go!
607
00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:04,457
Oh, how beautifuI it is!
Beauteous!
608
00:59:15,718 --> 00:59:17,261
Beauteous!
609
00:59:19,513 --> 00:59:20,931
Cigarette break!
610
00:59:26,644 --> 00:59:29,730
- The Swedish Ambassador!
- What's up, Fedya?
611
00:59:32,858 --> 00:59:35,819
The Swedish ambassador
asks for an audience.
612
01:00:10,017 --> 01:00:12,061
Bring the ambassador in.
613
01:00:14,813 --> 01:00:18,775
Knit your brows! Knit your brows!
614
01:00:55,768 --> 01:00:58,061
Der grosse Konig,
615
01:00:58,395 --> 01:01:03,400
Des Schwedischen Konigreichs sende
mich,
616
01:01:04,734 --> 01:01:07,278
seinen treuen Diener,
617
01:01:07,654 --> 01:01:13,117
zu Ihnen, Czar and Grande Duc
618
01:01:13,909 --> 01:01:16,036
Ivan Vassilyevich...
619
01:01:18,163 --> 01:01:20,082
usarussa.
620
01:01:20,415 --> 01:01:23,835
- This foreign tourist speaks well!
- What exactly does he say?
621
01:01:24,044 --> 01:01:26,462
I'll be damned if I know.
Fedya!
622
01:01:28,464 --> 01:01:31,384
- We need an interpreter.
- We had one. He was German.
623
01:01:31,717 --> 01:01:34,136
He got drunk as a lord
when he had to translate.
624
01:01:34,428 --> 01:01:37,806
- So We cooked him in boiled water.
- It's not the way to treat interpreters.
625
01:01:38,390 --> 01:01:41,226
Schwedete armie erobern hut.
626
01:01:41,685 --> 01:01:44,813
Answer something.
See, the man goes out of his way.
627
01:01:45,313 --> 01:01:47,398
Hitler kaput!
628
01:01:47,982 --> 01:01:51,444
Go on, Mister Ambassador.
We absolutely agree with you.
629
01:01:52,236 --> 01:01:55,698
- Kemska district.
- Right. Absolutely.
630
01:01:58,784 --> 01:02:00,744
Absolutely.
631
01:02:02,913 --> 01:02:06,124
Look, comrade.
Excuse us for a minute.
632
01:02:07,083 --> 01:02:11,420
I would like to know
what he wants, in generaI terms.
633
01:02:12,213 --> 01:02:14,423
It's very simple.
634
01:02:14,924 --> 01:02:18,719
They want Kemsk Region. They went to
war, so, they say, give it to us.
635
01:02:19,052 --> 01:02:21,513
What? Kemsk Region?
636
01:02:21,930 --> 01:02:25,683
Ja, Kemska rejion. Ja, ja...
637
01:02:26,601 --> 01:02:29,687
Take it if you want it! Oh, God!
I thought it was something important.
638
01:02:29,896 --> 01:02:33,315
- But you can't do it, benefactor.
- The tsar knows what he's doing.
639
01:02:33,941 --> 01:02:37,903
Our state won't be any poorer for it.
Take it! Take it!
640
01:02:38,445 --> 01:02:42,616
Have mercy, our great tsar,
and allow me to speak.
641
01:02:45,910 --> 01:02:49,997
What are you doing, son of a bitch?
Some impostor squandering our lands!
642
01:02:50,414 --> 01:02:52,541
We shall never have enough regions
for you!
643
01:02:52,792 --> 01:02:55,169
So whadda I say my king?
644
01:02:57,880 --> 01:03:00,757
Say your king
my warm greetings.
645
01:03:01,174 --> 01:03:03,218
Whadda about Kemsk region?
646
01:03:03,510 --> 01:03:07,263
Such questions, my dear ambassador,
are not decided at the drop of a hat.
647
01:03:07,513 --> 01:03:11,475
We have to consult with comrades.
Come back in a few days.
648
01:03:11,684 --> 01:03:15,646
Yes, by the way, here's a little
souvenir for you from me.
649
01:03:19,274 --> 01:03:20,817
Here!
650
01:03:29,534 --> 01:03:34,538
Well, auf Wiedersehen!
Goodbye! Au revoir! In short, ciao!
651
01:03:41,044 --> 01:03:43,546
Everyone can go!
652
01:03:46,883 --> 01:03:48,885
The guards can go, too.
653
01:03:49,886 --> 01:03:51,846
The guards can go.
654
01:04:02,981 --> 01:04:05,108
Why are you crawling, old chap?
655
01:04:05,817 --> 01:04:08,569
The ambassador has lost his chest
decoration.
656
01:04:09,779 --> 01:04:14,825
He shouldn't be so absent-minded. One
should watch his things when in a room.
657
01:04:16,618 --> 01:04:19,204
Why are you staring at me?
658
01:04:19,413 --> 01:04:22,499
- do You think I took it?
- No, of course not!
659
01:04:23,583 --> 01:04:24,834
You didn't take it, did you?
660
01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:29,047
Maybe it has slid under the throne?
661
01:04:30,798 --> 01:04:31,632
No.
662
01:04:32,967 --> 01:04:34,718
Well, then nothing can be done.
663
01:04:34,885 --> 01:04:36,470
What a misfortune!
664
01:04:44,019 --> 01:04:47,480
I am again tormented by some
troubling doubts.
665
01:04:47,689 --> 01:04:51,609
Shpak's tape recorder,
the ambassador's medaI...
666
01:04:51,776 --> 01:04:53,778
What are you driving at?
667
01:04:53,944 --> 01:04:57,656
I'm asking you, you tsar's mug,
what are you hinting at?
668
01:04:57,906 --> 01:05:01,868
The Tartar Prince Yedigey is here
to see the tsar.
669
01:05:02,077 --> 01:05:04,871
No.
That's too much.
670
01:05:06,998 --> 01:05:09,834
Calling hours are over.
We have a lunch break.
671
01:05:11,877 --> 01:05:14,838
The tsar wishes to refect.
672
01:05:30,478 --> 01:05:33,189
- I must be dreaming!
- Just a minute.
673
01:05:33,355 --> 01:05:37,693
- Who's going to pay for this banquet?
- In any case, not us.
674
01:05:37,985 --> 01:05:39,820
Fedya, what is in there?
675
01:05:41,321 --> 01:05:43,114
Hare's kidneys,
676
01:05:43,949 --> 01:05:47,577
pike heads with garlic.
Black caviar.
677
01:05:48,202 --> 01:05:49,287
Red caviar.
678
01:05:49,704 --> 01:05:52,790
And from overseas...
679
01:05:55,251 --> 01:05:57,169
Eggplant caviar!
680
01:05:58,462 --> 01:05:59,838
BeautifuI!
681
01:06:00,213 --> 01:06:03,925
- Well, tsar, let's drink.
- Let's drink.
682
01:06:33,035 --> 01:06:34,036
Beauteous!
683
01:06:34,203 --> 01:06:37,831
I look for him all over the house, and
here's he, in someone else's flat.
684
01:06:38,040 --> 01:06:40,083
Why don't you look me in the eye?
685
01:06:40,250 --> 01:06:42,627
Ivan Vassilyevich,
I've been burglarized!
686
01:06:43,211 --> 01:06:47,548
Everything I've got by working
tirelessly, everything is gone!
687
01:06:47,799 --> 01:06:51,219
Oh, look at you!
You're blind drunk!
688
01:06:51,385 --> 01:06:54,805
You don't look like yourself!
What on earth did you put on yourself?
689
01:06:55,055 --> 01:06:59,184
- Imported tape recorder, suede jacket...
- He's drunk!
690
01:06:59,559 --> 01:07:01,061
There's nothing left!
691
01:07:01,812 --> 01:07:04,481
He can't stand on his feet!
Where are you going?
692
01:07:05,982 --> 01:07:09,569
Oh, God! What's going on?
Go home now, alcoholic!
693
01:07:09,777 --> 01:07:12,863
Leave me alone, old woman,
I'm being sad.
694
01:07:13,572 --> 01:07:16,700
Old woman? You jerk!
695
01:07:16,950 --> 01:07:19,036
I'm five years younger than you!
696
01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:21,746
Let's go home, now!
697
01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:24,332
You are a witch!
698
01:07:25,083 --> 01:07:27,001
Help!
699
01:07:27,418 --> 01:07:30,796
Ivan Vassilyevich, calm down.
700
01:07:34,133 --> 01:07:37,136
- Witch!
- To be absolutely honest, yes.
701
01:07:38,554 --> 01:07:41,765
- And What do You want?
- Dear Ivan Vassilyevich,
702
01:07:41,932 --> 01:07:44,684
that's the list of stolen things.
703
01:07:44,851 --> 01:07:50,148
Two tape recorders, two movie cameras,
two cigarette cases. Please!
704
01:07:50,356 --> 01:07:53,359
Is it the way to hand in a petition
to the tsar?
705
01:07:53,734 --> 01:07:57,112
What do you mean? Stop your
hooliganism!
706
01:07:58,363 --> 01:08:03,827
You and your drunken tricks! I'll file
a collective complaint against you!
707
01:08:04,202 --> 01:08:07,288
I see you never stop, lackey!
708
01:08:08,873 --> 01:08:12,084
Hello? Is that a psychiatric ward?
709
01:08:12,668 --> 01:08:17,840
My husband has got a delirium tremens.
He attacks people with a knife.
710
01:08:18,173 --> 01:08:22,719
- Stop! Take the knife away!
- The knife!
711
01:08:23,094 --> 01:08:26,848
Just look at our activist!
He's an armed bandit!
712
01:08:27,390 --> 01:08:29,725
- Lowly trash!
- You're trash yourself!
713
01:08:30,017 --> 01:08:31,435
Lackey!
714
01:08:31,602 --> 01:08:34,104
The police will decide who's a lackey
here!
715
01:08:34,939 --> 01:08:36,231
Is it the police?
716
01:08:37,274 --> 01:08:40,736
- Wait! He's not Bunsha!
- What do you mean, not Bunsha?
717
01:08:40,902 --> 01:08:44,322
He's Ivan the Terrible. The reaI one.
718
01:08:57,084 --> 01:08:59,670
I'm busy. Call me later.
719
01:09:00,170 --> 01:09:03,923
- Oh, my God! What's going on?
- I revealed a big secret to you.
720
01:09:04,132 --> 01:09:06,885
I beg you to promise that you won't
tell anybody.
721
01:09:07,093 --> 01:09:10,304
Of course! You have my word.
722
01:09:10,471 --> 01:09:14,391
- Thank You.
- Don't mention it.
723
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:20,981
Hello? The police?
724
01:09:21,481 --> 01:09:24,859
That's Shpak speaking, who's been
burglarized.
725
01:09:25,068 --> 01:09:28,363
No, it's not about the robbery.
We've got something more weird here.
726
01:09:28,696 --> 01:09:32,825
Engineer Timofeyev has a live
tsar in his apartment.
727
01:09:33,909 --> 01:09:38,121
No, I don't drink.
With a dagger, cold steeI...
728
01:09:38,872 --> 01:09:41,875
I'm giving you my word of honor!
729
01:09:42,709 --> 01:09:44,002
I'll be waiting.
730
01:09:51,217 --> 01:09:54,762
I can imagine how they fight now
on Izyum Road.
731
01:09:55,012 --> 01:10:00,142
Fedya, what are you doing there, by
the kidneys? Come here, don't be shy.
732
01:10:00,350 --> 01:10:03,812
Here!
Let's drink to friendship!
733
01:10:05,605 --> 01:10:09,817
Listen, old chap, do they accept
jewelry at your pawn shop?
734
01:10:12,653 --> 01:10:14,989
- We can arrange it.
- Let's drink.
735
01:10:15,239 --> 01:10:19,743
The tsarina is here, Sire.
She wants to see you.
736
01:10:23,622 --> 01:10:28,167
Fedya, go back to the kidneys! It was a
bad move. You don't look like a tsar.
737
01:10:28,334 --> 01:10:32,797
What? Whoa! Whoa!
Who are you talking to, lackey?
738
01:10:39,011 --> 01:10:44,099
Dear tsarina! I'm so glad!
Nice meeting you! My pleasure.
739
01:10:44,349 --> 01:10:48,561
Hello, I'm the tsar. Nice to meet you.
How do you do, I'm the tsar...
740
01:10:48,728 --> 01:10:53,065
Very pleased, I'm the tsar. Nice to
meet you, I'm the tsar. Very pleased.
741
01:10:55,442 --> 01:10:59,321
Please, come to our table.
742
01:11:00,405 --> 01:11:04,034
This way, please.
Please...
743
01:11:04,951 --> 01:11:07,036
Haven't we met before?
744
01:11:07,203 --> 01:11:09,789
- What are you saying, shit?
- Whoa! Whoa!
745
01:11:09,997 --> 01:11:14,084
Hey! Waiter!
One order of kidneys for the tsarina.
746
01:11:14,460 --> 01:11:16,503
Excuse me for a minute.
747
01:11:17,421 --> 01:11:21,967
- Sorry, your name, please?
- Why, I'm Marfa Vassilyevna.
748
01:11:22,551 --> 01:11:25,720
WonderfuI! Enchanting!
749
01:11:26,596 --> 01:11:29,932
Marfa Vassilyevna, how enchanting!
A glass of cardamom vodka?
750
01:11:30,141 --> 01:11:33,060
- Oh, no!
- Why? Please, don't refuse.
751
01:11:33,519 --> 01:11:35,604
Your health!
752
01:11:39,358 --> 01:11:42,611
Well, everyone keeps saying: tsar,
tsar...
753
01:11:43,278 --> 01:11:46,281
You think, Marfa Vassilyevna,
it's easy to be a tsar?
754
01:11:46,447 --> 01:11:48,908
No, on the contrary!
755
01:11:49,617 --> 01:11:53,621
Every working man has two days off,
and we, the tsars, have no days off.
756
01:11:53,871 --> 01:11:56,623
And our working hours are not fixed.
757
01:11:57,249 --> 01:12:02,003
Please, eat, Margarita Vassilyevna.
Everything has been paid for.
758
01:12:02,629 --> 01:12:08,301
You know, a tsar's job is so unhealthy
that we should be given free milk.
759
01:12:08,551 --> 01:12:10,970
They wrote it in the Health Magazine
760
01:12:11,554 --> 01:12:14,348
that the nervous cells are never
restored.
761
01:12:14,515 --> 01:12:18,769
You work and work, our great tsar,
just like a bee!
762
01:12:19,895 --> 01:12:25,066
Margo, you alone understand me!
763
01:12:27,277 --> 01:12:31,739
- One more glass to Go with a pike head?
- Oh, no! No!
764
01:12:33,908 --> 01:12:37,536
Tell me, please, do you have
private rooms here?
765
01:12:37,870 --> 01:12:40,622
- I see you're dead drunk!
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
766
01:12:40,831 --> 01:12:44,667
Why don't you play, maestro?
Strike up a song!
767
01:12:48,171 --> 01:12:55,261
That's not a big black cloud coming...
768
01:12:56,845 --> 01:12:57,805
A cloud!
769
01:12:59,806 --> 01:13:04,894
That's not a thunderstorm striking...
770
01:13:08,648 --> 01:13:09,857
A thunderstorm!
771
01:13:11,359 --> 01:13:18,323
That's the tsar of Crimea, a vile dog...
772
01:13:21,326 --> 01:13:22,661
A dog!
773
01:13:28,875 --> 01:13:31,627
What do you mean, a dog?
774
01:13:32,169 --> 01:13:35,047
How dare you sing such songs
about a tsar?
775
01:13:35,547 --> 01:13:39,301
You got out of hand here, without me.
What kind of a repertoire is that?
776
01:13:40,218 --> 01:13:44,180
You ought to sing songs for the masses,
something contemporary.
777
01:13:44,347 --> 01:13:47,767
Like... how does it go?
Trali-vali, tili-tili.
778
01:13:47,976 --> 01:13:51,771
We're not the tili-tili,
we're not the trali-vali.
779
01:13:51,937 --> 01:13:54,315
CooI it, Vanya. We'll do everything.
780
01:13:55,399 --> 01:13:58,193
Excuse me, what's your name again?
781
01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:01,154
- I'm Marfa Vassilyevna!
- Yes, of course, Marfa.
782
01:14:02,072 --> 01:14:05,158
Oh, Marfusha! The night is still young!
783
01:14:05,700 --> 01:14:08,369
Give us a line,
and we'll pick it up.
784
01:14:08,536 --> 01:14:10,496
Wait! Quiet!
785
01:14:10,872 --> 01:14:12,915
All of a sudden,
786
01:14:15,459 --> 01:14:16,752
Out of the blue,
787
01:14:18,086 --> 01:14:21,089
Love knocked down
788
01:14:21,756 --> 01:14:23,842
Upon my door.
789
01:14:24,050 --> 01:14:30,348
Is that it? Is that you?
I couldn't hope for anything more.
790
01:14:31,182 --> 01:14:34,560
Snow was falling, dawn after dawn,
791
01:14:34,852 --> 01:14:37,646
Days were rainy and mean.
792
01:14:38,105 --> 01:14:41,608
So many years, why were you gone?
793
01:14:42,067 --> 01:14:46,696
Where have you ever been?
794
01:14:48,865 --> 01:14:53,285
Like in a dream, the doorjust creaked,
795
01:14:53,744 --> 01:14:57,414
And suddenly, all made sense.
796
01:14:57,623 --> 01:15:00,584
Fate played tricks. Fate intrigued.
797
01:15:00,876 --> 01:15:03,461
And here's our meeting, hence.
798
01:15:03,753 --> 01:15:06,089
I froze at sea, traveled by train.
799
01:15:06,422 --> 01:15:08,716
I know it was not in vain.
800
01:15:09,008 --> 01:15:14,221
No, it was not in vain,
It was not for nothing.
801
01:15:15,222 --> 01:15:20,602
All has happened, all came true.
Nobody knows, how.
802
01:15:21,144 --> 01:15:26,941
How could I live all this through?
It's just incredible! Wow!
803
01:15:27,609 --> 01:15:32,863
If you wait and take it in,
whatever ever lies in store...
804
01:15:33,322 --> 01:15:36,658
Then you can get it, what you dreamed
for,
805
01:15:36,825 --> 01:15:40,245
And go hope for more.
806
01:15:40,620 --> 01:15:42,372
Everybody dance!
807
01:15:42,706 --> 01:15:47,293
Like in a dream, the doorjust creaked,
808
01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:50,963
And, suddenly, all made sense.
809
01:15:51,339 --> 01:15:54,175
Fate played tricks. Fate intrigued.
810
01:15:54,508 --> 01:15:56,802
And here's our meeting, hence.
811
01:15:57,094 --> 01:15:59,680
I froze at sea, traveled by train.
812
01:15:59,888 --> 01:16:02,307
I know it was not in vain.
813
01:16:02,474 --> 01:16:07,437
No, it was not in vain,
It was not for nothing.
814
01:17:24,215 --> 01:17:29,470
A mutiny in the army!
They say that the tsar's not reaI!
815
01:17:40,272 --> 01:17:43,191
My dear autocrat, we're done in!
816
01:17:44,150 --> 01:17:47,111
I demand that the banquet go on!
817
01:17:49,655 --> 01:17:52,241
Why are we done in? Why?
818
01:18:27,440 --> 01:18:28,858
This way!
819
01:18:33,529 --> 01:18:37,199
Come on, Prince, hurry up!
Send me back!
820
01:18:37,449 --> 01:18:40,535
Everything will be ready in 3 minutes.
821
01:19:02,430 --> 01:19:06,601
Wait a bit, Ivan Vassilyevich. You'd
better change into your tsar's clothes.
822
01:19:06,976 --> 01:19:08,603
Damn!
823
01:19:29,705 --> 01:19:30,873
Do you smoke?
824
01:19:33,626 --> 01:19:36,420
You don't? Good.
I don't smoke either.
825
01:19:36,795 --> 01:19:39,339
So tell me, who are you?
826
01:19:40,132 --> 01:19:42,467
- I am the tsar.
- Nickname?
827
01:19:42,842 --> 01:19:47,138
- Wait. your name?
- We're the Ryuriks.
828
01:19:47,513 --> 01:19:51,142
- First, second name?
- Ivan Vassilyevich.
829
01:19:51,517 --> 01:19:53,352
Ivan...
830
01:19:53,769 --> 01:19:59,483
- Date of birth?
- 1533 A.D.
831
01:20:01,068 --> 01:20:04,279
- Joking?
- Very funny.
832
01:20:04,696 --> 01:20:08,783
- Wait. Residence?
- My palace.
833
01:20:09,992 --> 01:20:13,621
What palace?
The address?
834
01:20:14,288 --> 01:20:18,250
- What am I accused of, Boyar?
- You'll meet your boyars in the can!
835
01:20:18,667 --> 01:20:21,920
- Was it you who busted Shpak's place?
- Shpak's?
836
01:20:22,712 --> 01:20:25,965
I took Kazan, I took Astrakhan,
837
01:20:26,132 --> 01:20:29,635
I took ReveI,
but never Shpak.
838
01:20:29,844 --> 01:20:32,513
There he is! You're bagged!
It serves you right, drunkard!
839
01:20:32,847 --> 01:20:36,517
- What's up, folks? Who are you?
- Lieutenant, I'm this alcoholic's wife!
840
01:20:36,683 --> 01:20:40,354
You're Iying!
How can you be my wife, old woman?
841
01:20:40,604 --> 01:20:44,315
See? He got drunk out of his wits!
He can't recognize his own wife!
842
01:20:44,816 --> 01:20:47,944
I had to call the psychiatric ward.
843
01:20:48,194 --> 01:20:52,573
Oh, that's what it's all about!
That's why all these ravings.
844
01:20:52,782 --> 01:20:56,910
He took Kazan. He took Astrakhan.
He calls himself Ivan the Terrible.
845
01:20:57,161 --> 01:20:59,454
It's delirium tremens.
A typicaI case.
846
01:20:59,663 --> 01:21:03,083
What's the patient's reaI name?
847
01:21:03,458 --> 01:21:07,211
- Bunsha, Ivan Vassilyevich.
- You're Iying, witch!
848
01:21:07,462 --> 01:21:09,464
I hate him!
849
01:21:10,548 --> 01:21:11,716
Attention!
850
01:21:12,466 --> 01:21:14,134
Get ready!
851
01:21:23,977 --> 01:21:26,146
Take the impostors alive!
852
01:21:36,989 --> 01:21:39,449
Black caviar!
853
01:21:41,201 --> 01:21:42,744
Red caviar!
854
01:21:44,913 --> 01:21:47,332
And from overseas, eggplant caviar!
855
01:22:39,504 --> 01:22:43,091
Comrade Timofeyev! Alexander
Sergeyevich! Help me!
856
01:22:44,259 --> 01:22:47,345
Ivan Vassilyevich, hurry up!
Goodbye!
857
01:23:01,191 --> 01:23:04,694
- are You all right?
- All right. You'll never believe it!
858
01:23:05,153 --> 01:23:10,950
The police will believe it! You will
answer for your anti-sociaI experiments!
859
01:23:12,993 --> 01:23:15,120
Sire!
Just a minute!
860
01:23:25,380 --> 01:23:30,218
Why do you have police at your door,
comrade scientist?
861
01:23:30,426 --> 01:23:32,928
There was a burglary at your friend
Shpak's today.
862
01:23:33,387 --> 01:23:35,514
Really?
863
01:23:39,977 --> 01:23:44,981
- We detained One more.
- No, not detained!
864
01:23:45,440 --> 01:23:49,861
Not detained. I was on my way
to make a voluntary confession.
865
01:23:50,027 --> 01:23:54,657
I'm delighted to hand myself in to my
dear police. I set on it all my hopes.
866
01:23:54,823 --> 01:23:58,577
- Who are you?
- Bunsha, Ivan Vassilyevich.
867
01:24:00,454 --> 01:24:03,623
So you insist that you're Ivan
Vassilyevich Bunsha?
868
01:24:03,873 --> 01:24:05,875
Your ID, please.
869
01:24:06,960 --> 01:24:10,796
- I forgot it at home.
- Who can corroborate your statement?
870
01:24:12,298 --> 01:24:17,177
Well, anybody! You may ask my wife,
Ulyana. She will confirm it.
871
01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:19,638
Well, well, well.
872
01:24:20,514 --> 01:24:23,350
What did you want to make
a voluntary confession about?
873
01:24:23,808 --> 01:24:28,062
I confess that against my will, under
the compulsion of Prince Miloslavsky,
874
01:24:28,479 --> 01:24:30,898
I acted temporarily as a tsar.
875
01:24:31,315 --> 01:24:33,651
A tsar?
You are a tsar, too?
876
01:24:33,901 --> 01:24:36,487
Yes, a tsar.
Ivan Vassilyevich the Terrible.
877
01:24:36,945 --> 01:24:40,907
You're Iying, dog!
I am the tsar!
878
01:24:42,617 --> 01:24:44,244
Hooligan!
879
01:24:45,411 --> 01:24:49,373
Everything I've got by working
tirelessly, everything is gone!
880
01:24:49,832 --> 01:24:53,127
Three tape recorders,
three imported movie cameras,
881
01:24:53,461 --> 01:25:00,425
three home-made cigarette cases,
a suede jacket... Three jackets!
882
01:25:01,426 --> 01:25:06,556
And they want to be awarded the title
of a house of cultured communaI living!
883
01:25:08,391 --> 01:25:12,645
Ulyana Andreyevna, tell us again
who he is.
884
01:25:14,813 --> 01:25:16,940
I've already told you!
885
01:25:17,149 --> 01:25:19,901
My husband, Ivan Vassilyevich Bunsha.
886
01:25:20,068 --> 01:25:23,947
- They'll cure you, alcoholic.
- Fine! Then who is this?
887
01:25:28,409 --> 01:25:32,163
- Impostor!
- You're an impostor yourself! Got it?
888
01:25:32,413 --> 01:25:35,332
- So, who is he?
- My husband! Ivan Vassilyevich Bunsha.
889
01:25:36,291 --> 01:25:41,838
They will cure you, too.
890
01:25:44,007 --> 01:25:49,929
- It turns out you've got 2 husbands?
- So it turns out.
891
01:25:50,137 --> 01:25:52,098
And they're both Bunshas?
892
01:25:55,351 --> 01:25:56,727
Yes, both of them.
893
01:26:00,272 --> 01:26:02,607
You'll be cured.
894
01:26:03,483 --> 01:26:05,819
And you'll be cured.
895
01:26:09,280 --> 01:26:11,866
And I'll be cured, too.
896
01:26:12,825 --> 01:26:17,121
What you told me is grandiose!
You're such a valuable eyewitness!
897
01:26:17,579 --> 01:26:20,707
If I were you,
I'd put a dissertation in the can.
898
01:26:21,833 --> 01:26:24,753
I ain't in no hurry.
I can end up in the can any time.
899
01:26:35,012 --> 01:26:39,141
Is that it? Is that you?
I couldn't hope for anything more.
900
01:26:40,851 --> 01:26:43,311
Ulyana Andreyevna,
I was faithfuI to you.
901
01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:47,482
The tsarina tried to seduce me,
but I didn't give in. I swear!
902
01:26:54,655 --> 01:26:58,534
- Miloslavsky was almost in our hands!
- George Miloslavsky?
903
01:26:58,700 --> 01:27:01,119
- Yes! Arrest him!
- Right.
904
01:27:03,038 --> 01:27:04,122
Wait!
905
01:27:04,914 --> 01:27:08,751
Hold on! Get him!
Catch Miloslavsky!
906
01:27:43,116 --> 01:27:46,494
I was absolutely sure
that I had sent you back.
907
01:27:47,078 --> 01:27:50,790
Hurry up, Prince.
Get your machine working.
908
01:27:51,082 --> 01:27:55,085
- Where have You been all this time?
- The police bagged me. Framing me up.
909
01:28:01,675 --> 01:28:04,594
They're after me, Prince!
Hurry up! Hurry! Oh, my God!
910
01:28:06,971 --> 01:28:09,682
Run, Ivan Vassilyevich!
911
01:28:12,727 --> 01:28:15,813
- Hurry, Ivan Vassilyevich!
- Yes, I'm coming!
912
01:28:15,980 --> 01:28:18,148
Oh, God, forgive me my sins!
913
01:28:19,483 --> 01:28:21,401
EviI spirit!
914
01:28:22,360 --> 01:28:28,282
- Farewell, Prince!
- Good luck! Don't think ill of me.
915
01:28:56,141 --> 01:28:59,019
- It's outrageous!
- You put out electricity again!
916
01:28:59,186 --> 01:29:02,230
- He's taunting us!
- We're going to complain!
917
01:29:03,106 --> 01:29:06,067
Oh, you're already out of the asylum?
918
01:29:06,317 --> 01:29:09,320
- Stop your hooliganism!
- What's the matter?
919
01:29:09,529 --> 01:29:11,364
That's scandalous!
920
01:29:11,614 --> 01:29:17,286
He's wearing glasses just for nothing!
You'll be brought to court for that!
921
01:29:20,080 --> 01:29:23,750
We send them to college,
and in return we're going bald!
922
01:29:26,336 --> 01:29:27,920
What was it?
923
01:29:28,504 --> 01:29:33,008
Was itjust a dream, or was it reaI?
924
01:29:34,510 --> 01:29:38,222
Ivan the Terrible... Miloslavsky...
925
01:29:39,973 --> 01:29:42,184
Oh, I forgot. Zina has left me.
926
01:29:47,689 --> 01:29:50,149
No, it's all nonsense!
927
01:29:51,150 --> 01:29:53,736
I was just knocked out!
928
01:29:55,487 --> 01:29:57,489
And what if it's not nonsense?
929
01:29:58,323 --> 01:30:01,118
My goodness!
What is going on here?
930
01:30:01,451 --> 01:30:03,495
You smoked again!
931
01:30:04,537 --> 01:30:06,623
And, of course, you didn't eat
your lunch.
932
01:30:16,090 --> 01:30:19,301
- You haven't left for Gagry?
- What do you mean, Gagry?
933
01:30:20,177 --> 01:30:23,263
You're going crazy
with your machine!
934
01:30:29,477 --> 01:30:31,729
Oh, how did you get yourself
such a bump?
935
01:30:34,899 --> 01:30:38,527
Zina, tell me the truth.
936
01:30:39,361 --> 01:30:42,697
- Where have You been?
- At a rehearsaI.
937
01:30:42,906 --> 01:30:44,074
All right...
938
01:30:44,324 --> 01:30:48,995
Give me a straight answer.
Are you in love with Yakin?
939
01:30:50,621 --> 01:30:55,542
- What Yakin? What is it with You?
- Don't lie to me. He's your director.
940
01:30:57,377 --> 01:31:00,088
We have no director by that name.
941
01:31:02,591 --> 01:31:05,176
- is it true?
- I swear.
942
01:31:06,302 --> 01:31:07,345
Hurray!
943
01:31:30,700 --> 01:31:32,368
Ciao!
944
01:31:32,910 --> 01:31:35,537
Thank you for your attention!
945
01:31:35,913 --> 01:31:37,706
THE END
74116
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