Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,113 --> 00:00:02,726
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2
00:00:02,726 --> 00:00:05,893
(exciting beat music)
3
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,153
- Careful.
4
00:00:12,020 --> 00:00:12,853
- Ryan.
5
00:00:14,510 --> 00:00:16,680
I don't think I know how to French kiss
6
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,193
and I need you to teach me.
7
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:21,340
- Okay.
8
00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:22,390
Teach you how?
9
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:23,390
- Well, demonstrate.
10
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,120
Kiss me and show me how it's done.
11
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,240
- Okay.
12
00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:29,130
Wait, shouldn't you be doing
this with your girlfriend?
13
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,760
- Oh, Evan?
14
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,440
She's too polite to tell me
15
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,360
that my kissing skills could improve
16
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,493
but I know she wants me to be better.
17
00:00:36,493 --> 00:00:37,510
- Yeah.
18
00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:38,740
- Did she say something to you?
19
00:00:38,740 --> 00:00:39,740
- What?
20
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:40,630
No.
21
00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:41,463
No.
22
00:00:41,463 --> 00:00:43,400
She said nothing to be about
you being a bad kisser.
23
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,780
- She said I was a bad kisser?
24
00:00:44,780 --> 00:00:46,230
- She didn't but
25
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,020
okay, let's practice.
26
00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:51,165
Kiss me like you kiss her.
27
00:00:51,165 --> 00:00:54,248
(muffled beat music)
28
00:00:58,820 --> 00:00:59,880
- How was I?
29
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:00,713
- Great.
30
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,070
- I am a bad kisser.
31
00:01:04,070 --> 00:01:07,000
- Maybe you should open
your mouth a little.
32
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,360
Relax your lips.
33
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,953
You wanna go from here to here.
34
00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:12,916
- Okay.
35
00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:22,740
- Okay, it's like you're pecking
36
00:01:22,740 --> 00:01:25,490
Like, "mwuah, mwuah," little kisses.
37
00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:29,580
Which is super sweet if
that's what you're into.
38
00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:31,440
- But that's no good.
39
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,350
- It's sort of like an extended version
40
00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:34,815
of kissing your sister.
41
00:01:34,815 --> 00:01:35,648
- Ew.
42
00:01:35,648 --> 00:01:36,600
- Yeah, it's not hot.
43
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:39,850
Listen,
44
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,480
open your mouth, relax your lips,
45
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:43,483
follow my lead.
46
00:01:54,819 --> 00:01:57,819
(somber beat music)
47
00:02:06,747 --> 00:02:09,390
- Wow, that was amazing, is
that how it's supposed to be?
48
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,310
- Yes.
49
00:02:10,310 --> 00:02:11,500
You probably should've figured that out
50
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,710
when you were like 13.
51
00:02:12,710 --> 00:02:15,780
- I wasn't kissing a lot
of girls when I was 13.
52
00:02:15,780 --> 00:02:17,310
- That's what boys are for.
53
00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:19,780
Lifting heavy boxes and
practicing making out.
54
00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:21,840
- Oh, you're a wizard, I
can't wait to show Evan.
55
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,370
Or is that too much?
56
00:02:23,370 --> 00:02:25,330
- Definitely try it on Evan.
57
00:02:25,330 --> 00:02:26,163
She'll love it.
58
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:32,610
So, this has been super
fun and not at all boring
59
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,883
but I'm gonna go mingle.
60
00:02:35,844 --> 00:02:37,060
Why don't you go find Evan
61
00:02:37,060 --> 00:02:39,040
and show her all this fun
stuff I just taught you.
62
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:39,873
- Are you kidding?
63
00:02:39,873 --> 00:02:41,103
I have so many questions.
64
00:02:43,510 --> 00:02:44,816
- Oh, look, my drink is almost gone.
65
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:45,880
Why don't you get me another one
66
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:49,337
and I'll go talk to people who aren't you.
67
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:51,963
- Ryan,
68
00:02:54,010 --> 00:02:56,250
you're the best friend a girl could have.
69
00:02:56,250 --> 00:02:57,770
- Thanks.
70
00:02:57,770 --> 00:02:58,603
I know.
71
00:03:02,274 --> 00:03:05,441
(exciting beat music)
72
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,280
- Why are we hiding away from the world?
73
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,900
- Because I have the good shit.
74
00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:28,670
Out there, they have snickelfritz,
75
00:03:28,670 --> 00:03:32,800
and this, this is 27 year old
small batch Kentucky bourbon.
76
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,420
And I don't like to share.
77
00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:35,540
Ever.
78
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:36,790
- You're sharing with me.
79
00:03:38,058 --> 00:03:40,430
- That's because I'm one
generous motherfucker.
80
00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:42,223
I'm a god unto my people.
81
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,300
- This is older than I am.
82
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:47,520
How expensive is this?
83
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,353
- Very.
84
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,063
Costs more than your dignity.
85
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,480
- Well that's not saying much.
86
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,673
- Skol.
87
00:03:52,673 --> 00:03:55,840
- Of course it is, it's got ice in it.
88
00:03:56,950 --> 00:03:58,020
- Hey, lezlords.
89
00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,390
Hate to break up the gay-gay meeting
90
00:03:59,390 --> 00:04:02,163
but your girlfriend is out
there making out with Ryan.
91
00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:04,320
- Really?
92
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,940
- I think she's giving her
kissing lessons out of pity.
93
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:08,490
- Good, let's hope it works.
94
00:04:08,490 --> 00:04:09,980
- It's really sad though.
95
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:11,440
You might wanna get out there and stop her
96
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,960
before she embarrasses herself anymore.
97
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:14,793
- Okay.
98
00:04:18,610 --> 00:04:22,514
Listen, my dad gave this
to me when I quit smoking.
99
00:04:22,514 --> 00:04:24,200
Very expensive.
100
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,200
Guard it with your life.
101
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,290
- Evan, you never quit smoking.
102
00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:32,440
- He doesn't know that.
103
00:04:34,864 --> 00:04:36,026
- You're beautiful.
104
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,109
Never change.
105
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,163
- Hey, you wanna get fucked up?
106
00:04:41,078 --> 00:04:42,641
- Yeah.
107
00:04:42,641 --> 00:04:44,455
- [Trista] Cool.
108
00:04:44,455 --> 00:04:45,288
Have fun.
109
00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:51,663
(thudding)
110
00:04:51,663 --> 00:04:54,246
(upbeat music)
111
00:05:11,582 --> 00:05:16,582
♪ Make your feelings lie like a feather ♪
112
00:05:20,114 --> 00:05:25,114
♪ Don't let it harden
in this cold weather ♪
113
00:05:27,074 --> 00:05:30,982
♪ We can be better friends ♪
114
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:33,012
♪ I'm falling ♪
115
00:05:33,012 --> 00:05:35,630
♪ It's not our end ♪
116
00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:40,450
♪ You will see when we leave ♪
117
00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:44,384
♪ Together ♪
118
00:05:44,384 --> 00:05:47,467
(muffled beat music)
119
00:05:51,842 --> 00:05:52,675
- Hi.
120
00:05:52,675 --> 00:05:54,279
- Excuse me.
(gasping)
121
00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,529
(laughing)
122
00:05:57,410 --> 00:05:58,243
Excuse me, miss.
123
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,180
I'd be careful walking around
with two premium beverages
124
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:04,880
when this party's down to
six-pack of wine coolers
125
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,120
and a bottle of Maneschewitz.
126
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,603
- We could attract some
unsavory characters.
127
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:13,070
- Whose premium cocktail am I drinking?
128
00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:14,363
Let me guess.
129
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,342
The spoiled little rich girl
130
00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:19,750
whose external locus of identity
needs constant validation?
131
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,550
- [Bridget] Validation is
for parking, not people.
132
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,283
- Maybe the nurse practitioner
and soon-to-be divorcee
133
00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:27,760
who readily expounds upon the
virtues of anarcho-capitalism.
134
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,410
- I once dabbled in anarchism myself.
135
00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:32,000
Bear in mind I was 15
and obsessed with Crass.
136
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,920
Say what you will about the
convenience of its tenets,
137
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,273
but at least it's an ethos.
138
00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:37,747
- Perhaps you'd go for
the very emo Jewish girl
139
00:06:37,747 --> 00:06:40,520
in the back room who's in
dire need of companionship.
140
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,290
- At least now we know who
brought the Manischewitz.
141
00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:44,123
What type are you?
142
00:06:44,123 --> 00:06:45,760
- I hate to break it to you, miss,
143
00:06:46,630 --> 00:06:49,250
but I am completely unavailable.
144
00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:50,140
- How unfortunate.
145
00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:51,430
Who is the lucky lady?
146
00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:52,263
Forgive me,
147
00:06:52,263 --> 00:06:55,463
I assume it's a women of
whom you are speaking.
148
00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:57,860
- No apology necessary.
149
00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:01,800
And yes it is a beautiful,
brilliant, remarkable woman.
150
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,633
- Tell me more.
151
00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:04,040
- Blonde hair, blue eyes,
152
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,350
about yeah high.
153
00:07:06,350 --> 00:07:09,700
She's a medieval scholar
specializing in Dark Ages weaponry.
154
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,480
- She does sound remarkable
155
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,130
and also very familiar.
156
00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:13,963
- Maybe you know her.
157
00:07:13,963 --> 00:07:15,280
Her name is Bridget.
158
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:16,370
- That's my name.
159
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:17,370
- She's supposed to be here tonight
160
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,260
but I can't seem to find her.
161
00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:20,470
- Oh, this could be dangerous.
162
00:07:20,470 --> 00:07:21,860
She might see me flirting with you.
163
00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:23,430
- Then what?
164
00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:25,710
- Well, I'm sure she wouldn't
want me taking what's hers.
165
00:07:25,710 --> 00:07:27,650
I suppose I should seize
the opportunity now
166
00:07:27,650 --> 00:07:28,789
and kiss you while I can.
167
00:07:28,789 --> 00:07:31,130
- I wouldn't want to
put you in harm's way.
168
00:07:31,130 --> 00:07:33,719
- I think you're worth the risk.
169
00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:36,969
(muffled upbeat music)
170
00:07:44,102 --> 00:07:45,019
- Yes, yes.
171
00:07:46,156 --> 00:07:49,723
♪ A future far away ♪
172
00:07:49,723 --> 00:07:53,210
♪ I'm traveling to the unknown ♪
173
00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:57,143
♪ To make sure you will see another day ♪
174
00:07:57,143 --> 00:08:00,425
(exciting beat music)
175
00:08:00,425 --> 00:08:05,425
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
176
00:08:07,539 --> 00:08:12,539
♪ I would pave new frontiers for you ♪
177
00:08:14,665 --> 00:08:19,665
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
178
00:08:21,804 --> 00:08:26,804
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
179
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:29,812
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
180
00:08:29,812 --> 00:08:33,783
♪ Through complication ♪
181
00:08:33,783 --> 00:08:36,606
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
182
00:08:36,606 --> 00:08:40,897
♪ Through the unknown ♪
183
00:08:40,897 --> 00:08:43,686
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
184
00:08:43,686 --> 00:08:47,415
♪ With determination ♪
185
00:08:47,415 --> 00:08:50,608
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
186
00:08:50,608 --> 00:08:55,608
♪ I'll make sure you never be alone ♪
187
00:08:57,364 --> 00:09:02,364
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
188
00:09:04,465 --> 00:09:09,465
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
189
00:09:11,642 --> 00:09:16,642
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
190
00:09:18,730 --> 00:09:23,621
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
191
00:09:23,621 --> 00:09:25,741
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
192
00:09:25,741 --> 00:09:30,671
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
193
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,995
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
194
00:09:32,995 --> 00:09:37,840
♪ I would brave a thousand years ♪
195
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,241
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
196
00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:41,140
(glass shattering)
197
00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:43,307
(moaning)
198
00:09:47,605 --> 00:09:50,022
(whimpering)
199
00:09:52,619 --> 00:09:53,452
- Evan?
200
00:09:57,641 --> 00:09:58,831
Evan.
201
00:09:58,831 --> 00:09:59,852
- What?
202
00:09:59,852 --> 00:10:03,122
- I think there's someone in the kitchen.
203
00:10:03,122 --> 00:10:04,506
I think there's someone in the kitchen.
204
00:10:04,506 --> 00:10:05,339
- Huh?
205
00:10:07,111 --> 00:10:08,496
- Get my ax.
206
00:10:08,496 --> 00:10:09,329
Help me get my ax.
207
00:10:11,395 --> 00:10:13,645
(groaning)
208
00:10:20,066 --> 00:10:21,433
(screaming)
209
00:10:21,433 --> 00:10:22,266
Ryan!
210
00:10:22,266 --> 00:10:23,099
- Oh my God.
211
00:10:23,099 --> 00:10:24,830
I didn't mean to wake you guys up.
212
00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:27,110
- How is she in here?
213
00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:32,060
- I gave her a key and a code
to the alarm system, sorry.
214
00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:34,652
- [Ryan] Bridget, you look hot.
215
00:10:34,652 --> 00:10:35,942
Is that La Perla?
216
00:10:35,942 --> 00:10:38,260
- No, I'd rather have Victoria Secret
217
00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:40,720
and an extra five hundred
bucks in my pocket.
218
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,580
- To what do we owe the
honor of your home invasion?
219
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:44,873
- Guys, this is intense.
220
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:46,650
I've been poisoned.
221
00:10:46,650 --> 00:10:47,483
- [Bridget] What?
222
00:10:47,483 --> 00:10:48,866
- Yeah, someone tried to dose me.
223
00:10:48,866 --> 00:10:49,699
- [Bridget] Who?
224
00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:52,380
- I don't know but my
drink tasted really funny
225
00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,840
and I felt really weird,
so I left and came here.
226
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,690
- Do we need to take you to the hospital?
227
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:57,921
- No.
228
00:10:57,921 --> 00:10:59,090
I only had one sip.
229
00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:00,990
I just feel way drunker than I should.
230
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:05,620
- Okay, well what did you do
with the rest of the drink?
231
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:08,600
- I gave it to Dov and told
her to take care of it.
232
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,730
- Ryan, this is very important.
233
00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:14,200
Now what exactly did you say to Dov?
234
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,093
- I told her to take care of it.
235
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:18,313
Oh no.
236
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,741
- We're leaving, now!
237
00:11:22,741 --> 00:11:25,158
(beat music)
238
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:34,826
- [Bridget] What's happening?
239
00:11:34,826 --> 00:11:35,659
- She's fucked up.
240
00:11:35,659 --> 00:11:36,492
Who knows?
241
00:11:36,492 --> 00:11:38,320
Rope, G, K.
242
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:39,308
- [Dov] L-M-N-O-P.
243
00:11:39,308 --> 00:11:40,853
- Oh my God, it's all my fault.
244
00:11:40,853 --> 00:11:41,686
(laughing)
245
00:11:41,686 --> 00:11:43,420
- [Trista] I knew you
idiots had a hand in this.
246
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:44,320
- I didn't know.
247
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,857
Someone roofied me and I gave it to Dov
248
00:11:46,857 --> 00:11:48,500
and I guess I didn't make it clear.
249
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,780
- Trista, you're a nurse,
what's the prognosis?
250
00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:52,750
- [Trista] It depends on how much she had.
251
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:53,583
- Just one drink.
252
00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:55,130
- Shouldn't we call the police?
253
00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:56,740
I mean, we need to
figure out who did this.
254
00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:58,300
- [Trista] The police
don't give a shit about us.
255
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,338
- Is that true?
256
00:11:59,338 --> 00:12:01,688
- [Evan] Will she be
needing medical attention?
257
00:12:03,110 --> 00:12:04,230
- Just keep an eye on her.
258
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:06,950
- [Dov] You know, I can hear
everything you're saying.
259
00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:08,921
- How is she still conscience?
260
00:12:08,921 --> 00:12:11,247
- She must've not had enough to pass out.
261
00:12:11,247 --> 00:12:13,130
- I have a strong constitution.
262
00:12:13,130 --> 00:12:15,330
I've built up a really high tolerance
263
00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:16,803
to controlled substances.
264
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:19,770
- Get those people out of here.
265
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:24,873
- [Ryan] Party's over!
266
00:12:24,873 --> 00:12:25,766
- [Trista] Everybody get out!
267
00:12:25,766 --> 00:12:26,599
- [Woman] What?
268
00:12:26,599 --> 00:12:27,432
- [Ryan] Get out!
269
00:12:27,432 --> 00:12:28,265
- [Woman] Why?
270
00:12:28,265 --> 00:12:29,626
(party members groaning)
271
00:12:29,626 --> 00:12:31,324
- [Ryan] Out, come on, get out!
272
00:12:31,324 --> 00:12:32,193
Out!
273
00:12:32,193 --> 00:12:33,099
Everybody get out!
274
00:12:33,099 --> 00:12:34,330
We have to, now!
275
00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:35,963
- No, no, it's too much.
276
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:38,043
- [Ryan] Out, out, now, come on!
277
00:12:41,309 --> 00:12:42,142
Come on!
278
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,972
(laughing)
279
00:12:48,907 --> 00:12:52,220
- I don't know if I'm laughing
so much because I'm so high
280
00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:55,200
or because I'm dying.
281
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,473
- You're not dying.
282
00:12:57,670 --> 00:12:59,420
- We're all dying.
283
00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,670
- She's being fatalistic,
that's a good sign.
284
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:04,793
- That's it.
285
00:13:06,851 --> 00:13:08,345
Don't worry, girl.
286
00:13:08,345 --> 00:13:09,178
I got you.
287
00:13:10,930 --> 00:13:11,763
- Evan?
288
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:15,963
There's something really major
I wanna tell you right now.
289
00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:23,577
(gagging)
290
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:29,023
- Did you know they had
bras in the 14th Century?
291
00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:33,338
- Does that mean they
also had a second base?
292
00:13:33,338 --> 00:13:35,588
(giggling)
293
00:13:39,672 --> 00:13:41,089
I have some news.
294
00:13:42,060 --> 00:13:42,923
My father,
295
00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:46,240
my father is running for Senate.
296
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:47,470
- State or?
297
00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:48,900
- US Senate.
298
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:50,650
And he wants me to be campaign chair.
299
00:13:50,650 --> 00:13:51,750
- Governor wasn't enough?
300
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:54,350
- For my father, nothing is ever enough.
301
00:13:54,350 --> 00:13:56,210
- Must run in the family.
302
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,690
You have to do it.
303
00:13:57,690 --> 00:13:58,690
- I will.
304
00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:00,300
There's one catch.
305
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,360
He can't win as a Democrat again.
306
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,960
This time he has to run as--
307
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,210
- A Libertarian?
308
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:06,283
- As a Republican.
309
00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:10,490
- You can't support a
Republican candidate.
310
00:14:10,490 --> 00:14:11,720
- I can if he's my dad.
311
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,170
He'll be Republican in name only.
312
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:15,560
He's a huge supporter of gay rights
313
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,210
and everyone knows his daughter's a homo.
314
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:18,123
- A major one.
315
00:14:19,550 --> 00:14:22,390
What about women's rights
and abortion rights?
316
00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:23,907
And immigrants' rights?
317
00:14:23,907 --> 00:14:25,140
- I'm not an immigrant.
318
00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,480
- Your grandparents were.
319
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,720
- Someone's gonna chair his campaign,
320
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:28,870
it might as well be me.
321
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,590
- I just don't want you to do something
322
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:35,219
you're later going to regret.
323
00:14:35,219 --> 00:14:37,288
- Regret it my favorite pastime.
324
00:14:37,288 --> 00:14:39,130
Every day I can pass along to him
325
00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:40,590
your Marxist feminist dialectic.
326
00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:44,197
- Oh, I love it when you talk nerdy to me.
327
00:14:44,197 --> 00:14:46,317
(chuckling)
328
00:14:46,317 --> 00:14:48,484
(moaning)
329
00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:53,523
- Marry me.
330
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:57,364
- I have other plans for today.
331
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,614
(laughing)
332
00:15:01,387 --> 00:15:02,421
(moaning)
333
00:15:02,421 --> 00:15:03,650
Oh, you taste so sweet.
334
00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:06,020
- You taste better than being thin feels.
335
00:15:06,020 --> 00:15:08,270
(giggling)
336
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,110
Is there another intruder in the house?
337
00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:13,290
- The very same one.
338
00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:15,230
I let Ryan in after
you crashed last night.
339
00:15:15,230 --> 00:15:17,570
She didn't want to sleep
alone in her new apartment.
340
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:19,863
- We're not running a
social services agency.
341
00:15:22,252 --> 00:15:25,480
- I don't know about you guys
but I am ready for some vodka.
342
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:26,735
Morning.
343
00:15:26,735 --> 00:15:29,902
(exciting beat music)
344
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:38,220
So I get some phone call
from England, collect,
345
00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:40,540
and it's some nurse from some hospital
346
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,520
informing me that my
father is on his deathbed.
347
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,457
- Oh, Ryan, I'm so sorry.
348
00:15:45,457 --> 00:15:47,020
- I'm not.
349
00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:49,480
The old bastard has
been alive long enough.
350
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:50,620
I'm ready for him to kick the bucket
351
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:51,960
so I can collect my inheritance.
352
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,160
- I thought you guys
got along pretty well.
353
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,250
- We had a fabulous arrangement.
354
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:57,300
He pays me five grand a month
355
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,780
and his embarrassment
of a homosexual daughter
356
00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:02,238
stays on a different
continent and out of his life.
357
00:16:02,238 --> 00:16:04,110
- Oh, I didn't know it was that bad.
358
00:16:04,110 --> 00:16:05,444
- It could be worse.
359
00:16:05,444 --> 00:16:08,883
When I graduated, his initial
offer was three thousand.
360
00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:11,143
- Hey, babe.
361
00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:16,000
Have a nice day, ladies.
362
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,453
- Where's my kiss?
363
00:16:18,662 --> 00:16:21,630
(laughing)
364
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:23,620
Hey, is Evan going to work?
365
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:25,220
But it's Saturday.
366
00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:27,900
Wait, sorry, since when
has Evan had a job?
367
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,857
- Since her dad's running for Senate.
368
00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:32,773
And now,
369
00:16:34,270 --> 00:16:36,000
she's a Republican.
370
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,790
- Oh my God.
371
00:16:37,790 --> 00:16:39,340
She's a sellout.
372
00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:42,060
What happened to our
dead-dog-dyke-Democrat?
373
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,880
- She's rolling over and
playing conservative.
374
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:48,160
And she keeps pushing me to marry her.
375
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:49,300
- I know.
376
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,620
She won't stop taking about it.
377
00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:53,290
Don't you want to?
378
00:16:53,290 --> 00:16:54,510
- Yeah.
379
00:16:54,510 --> 00:16:55,343
Just
380
00:16:56,610 --> 00:16:58,390
not now.
381
00:16:58,390 --> 00:17:00,050
- You're gonna need some of this.
382
00:17:00,050 --> 00:17:02,870
- Glad to see last night
didn't put you off your game.
383
00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:03,820
- What do you mean?
384
00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:07,643
- You got roofied.
385
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:10,673
- Oh, right.
386
00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:13,640
- Yeah.
387
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:14,473
Well,
388
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:17,416
so here's to getting married, then.
389
00:17:17,416 --> 00:17:18,249
And selling out.
390
00:17:18,249 --> 00:17:19,747
- Aren't those the same thing?
391
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,820
- [Dov] Why does the universe go through
392
00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:30,483
all bother of existing at all?
393
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,113
- Having a bout of
existential despair, I see.
394
00:17:34,113 --> 00:17:35,743
- What's the purpose of life?
395
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,350
- That's a yes.
396
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,560
- Well,
397
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,090
most losers, present company included,
398
00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:44,530
would say it's
399
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,400
love.
400
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,233
- Wrong.
401
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,730
Love is a capitalist
scheme that is pre-packaged
402
00:17:50,730 --> 00:17:52,620
and peddled to the masses.
403
00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:53,890
It's the perfect racket.
404
00:17:53,890 --> 00:17:55,963
It's selling dreams for cash.
405
00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:57,720
- I thought you'd be happy
406
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,920
once Evan got you that
job at the newspaper.
407
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,610
- Typing up engagement
announcements isn't writing.
408
00:18:03,610 --> 00:18:04,955
Although,
409
00:18:04,955 --> 00:18:08,570
I would recommend it to our
government as a form of torture.
410
00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:10,270
- You are so emo.
411
00:18:10,270 --> 00:18:11,570
You just need to get laid.
412
00:18:13,490 --> 00:18:14,590
- Love is an illusion.
413
00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:19,110
- So what is it then?
414
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:21,633
- What's what?
415
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:23,320
- [Trista] Your original question.
416
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,320
The purpose of life.
417
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:26,660
- I don't know.
418
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:27,493
- I do.
419
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,800
It's to have as much fun as we can
420
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,700
before we're all sent to burn in Hell.
421
00:18:39,366 --> 00:18:42,449
(muffled beat music)
422
00:18:46,403 --> 00:18:48,653
(knocking)
423
00:18:53,401 --> 00:18:54,820
Up for some divorce proceedings?
424
00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:55,920
- Nice to see you too.
425
00:18:57,850 --> 00:18:59,590
- Good to be back.
426
00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:01,670
I like what you've done with the place.
427
00:19:01,670 --> 00:19:02,513
I guess.
428
00:19:05,368 --> 00:19:07,951
(upbeat music)
429
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:17,603
And here I thought this wasn't
gonna be an amicable divorce.
430
00:19:23,298 --> 00:19:25,881
(upbeat music)
431
00:19:32,608 --> 00:19:35,525
(thunder rumbling)
432
00:19:38,475 --> 00:19:40,725
(knocking)
433
00:19:44,938 --> 00:19:47,013
- Come in, come in.
434
00:19:48,462 --> 00:19:51,420
I don't think you've seen this
place since I've moved here.
435
00:19:51,420 --> 00:19:54,190
- Business must be booming
in the tattoo industry.
436
00:19:54,190 --> 00:19:56,477
- This world is full of un-inked flesh.
437
00:19:56,477 --> 00:19:58,930
I'm going to change real fast.
438
00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:00,260
Make us a drink.
439
00:20:00,260 --> 00:20:02,370
Or one for each of us.
440
00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:03,973
You know what I'm saying.
441
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:13,370
- Ryan!
442
00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:15,450
How are you affording all this?
443
00:20:15,450 --> 00:20:16,550
- [Ryan] Oh, you now,
444
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:18,200
things are going really well at the shop
445
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:22,120
and my dad helps me financially.
446
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,040
- Bridget was telling me about that.
447
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,310
She's worried about you.
448
00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:26,570
- [Ryan] Why?
449
00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:27,943
I'm doing fabulously.
450
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:43,583
- Would you like to mix
that with something?
451
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,730
- I like it straight.
452
00:20:48,690 --> 00:20:50,673
Pretty much the only
thing I like straight.
453
00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:54,997
Have a seat.
454
00:20:54,997 --> 00:20:55,930
(chuckling)
455
00:20:55,930 --> 00:20:57,300
- Tell me why I suddenly feel
456
00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:58,270
like I need to have a cigarette.
457
00:20:58,270 --> 00:20:59,920
- I'm about to drop a truth bomb.
458
00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:02,240
- In your own home?
459
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,173
That's an act of domestic terrorism.
460
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:09,723
Bombs away.
461
00:21:15,450 --> 00:21:17,733
- Dov, you have a major problem.
462
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,610
- Why do I feel like
I'm at an intervention?
463
00:21:20,610 --> 00:21:22,310
- Because I'm interventioning you.
464
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:24,870
- Okay.
465
00:21:24,870 --> 00:21:27,640
What's my drug of choice?
466
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,220
- I want you to know that I understand you
467
00:21:29,220 --> 00:21:31,200
better than you realize.
468
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,390
I think about you all the time,
469
00:21:33,390 --> 00:21:35,930
about what your life must be like
470
00:21:35,930 --> 00:21:37,530
and I know what your problem is.
471
00:21:38,450 --> 00:21:40,180
- This should be spectacular.
472
00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:41,943
- You're madly in love with Evan.
473
00:21:41,943 --> 00:21:44,193
(coughing)
474
00:21:46,170 --> 00:21:47,003
- Evan?
475
00:21:47,003 --> 00:21:47,836
- Yes.
476
00:21:47,836 --> 00:21:48,780
You're in love with her.
477
00:21:49,980 --> 00:21:52,580
- I'm sorry, did someone just
turn on the batshit signal?
478
00:21:52,580 --> 00:21:53,413
- It's like I've said.
479
00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:55,340
I've given a lot of thought
to your life situation
480
00:21:55,340 --> 00:21:57,820
and I've had some major insights.
481
00:21:57,820 --> 00:21:59,350
- Enlighten me.
482
00:21:59,350 --> 00:22:02,500
- You need a girl who's
gonna treat you like a lady.
483
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:03,510
- As apposed to--
484
00:22:03,510 --> 00:22:06,130
- As apposed to most
girls who take one look
485
00:22:06,130 --> 00:22:09,470
at your bad girl persona
and immediately turn into
486
00:22:09,470 --> 00:22:11,840
pillow princesses and starfish.
487
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,530
- Starfish?
488
00:22:13,530 --> 00:22:16,410
- They take their arms and their legs
489
00:22:16,410 --> 00:22:18,110
and they make you do all the work.
490
00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:25,320
You need someone who
will open doors for you.
491
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,550
Put her hand on the small of your back,
492
00:22:28,550 --> 00:22:32,620
grab you by the back of
your head and kiss you.
493
00:22:32,620 --> 00:22:35,050
All the things a girl needs
to make her feel like a woman.
494
00:22:35,050 --> 00:22:39,240
And you know that Evan
can do that for you.
495
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,000
- Sounds like you're the
one that's in love with her.
496
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,990
- Please, me?
497
00:22:42,990 --> 00:22:46,610
If I wanted Evan, I'd
have had her already.
498
00:22:46,610 --> 00:22:49,850
Look, I get it, Evan is
our fearless leader but
499
00:22:49,850 --> 00:22:52,310
she's also in a serious
longest of terms relationship
500
00:22:52,310 --> 00:22:53,170
with my best friend.
501
00:22:53,170 --> 00:22:55,550
- Ryan, there are delusional states
502
00:22:55,550 --> 00:22:56,770
and there's full on psychosis.
503
00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:57,603
- Prove it.
504
00:22:58,670 --> 00:23:00,130
Kiss me.
505
00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:01,690
- No, I'm not Bridget.
506
00:23:01,690 --> 00:23:02,930
- You heard about that?
507
00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:04,800
Kissing lessons out of pity?
508
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:05,950
- It got around.
509
00:23:05,950 --> 00:23:07,630
A concept I'm sure you're familiar with.
510
00:23:07,630 --> 00:23:09,130
- Come on.
511
00:23:09,130 --> 00:23:11,490
Everyone wants to kiss me.
512
00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:13,313
Unless they're in love with Evan.
513
00:23:15,930 --> 00:23:18,530
- Once again, you've taken this too far.
514
00:23:18,530 --> 00:23:20,110
- Let's take it farther.
515
00:23:20,110 --> 00:23:21,900
This is the kind of
initiative you need to show
516
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,250
when you're pursuing women.
517
00:23:25,213 --> 00:23:27,280
(yelping)
518
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,290
Oh my God, if you weren't you,
519
00:23:29,290 --> 00:23:31,210
I'd be totally turned on right now.
520
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:34,023
- Please, cancel my
subscription to your issues.
521
00:23:35,620 --> 00:23:37,120
- You're not leaving, are you?
522
00:23:39,133 --> 00:23:42,080
- Well, I appreciate your
attempted analysis of my psyche.
523
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,530
Your conclusion couldn't
be further from reality.
524
00:23:46,030 --> 00:23:47,900
- I know you're not telling the truth.
525
00:23:47,900 --> 00:23:49,760
You can lie to me and you
can lie to the whole world
526
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,050
but the one person you
can't lie to is yourself.
527
00:23:52,050 --> 00:23:54,510
- On the contrary, I
exile in that department.
528
00:23:54,510 --> 00:23:56,803
And, on that note, I bid you adieu.
529
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:04,403
- Apparently Cleopatra wasn't
the only queen of denial.
530
00:24:10,931 --> 00:24:14,090
(upbeat music)
531
00:24:14,090 --> 00:24:14,953
- I miss this.
532
00:24:16,030 --> 00:24:18,140
- Yeah, don't get any ideas.
533
00:24:18,140 --> 00:24:18,973
- Huh?
534
00:24:18,973 --> 00:24:20,230
- This is a one time thing.
535
00:24:21,270 --> 00:24:22,373
A one night stand.
536
00:24:22,373 --> 00:24:24,920
- How do you have a one
night stand with your wife?
537
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,010
- Until this divorce is final,
we are married in name only.
538
00:24:28,010 --> 00:24:29,117
Wait,
539
00:24:29,117 --> 00:24:31,410
you didn't think we were
getting back together, did you?
540
00:24:31,410 --> 00:24:33,540
- Gee, Paige, when you attacked
me when I walked in the door
541
00:24:33,540 --> 00:24:35,350
and we made mad, passionate love.
542
00:24:35,350 --> 00:24:38,370
Yes, I thought maybe our
relationship status was changing.
543
00:24:38,370 --> 00:24:39,480
- So immature.
544
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,380
This is exactly why I'm divorcing you.
545
00:24:42,455 --> 00:24:43,580
- What the fuck?
546
00:24:43,580 --> 00:24:45,520
- Grow up.
547
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:46,480
You know better.
548
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,310
- No, Paige, tell me.
549
00:24:48,310 --> 00:24:49,950
- Why am I divorcing you?
550
00:24:49,950 --> 00:24:52,150
Maybe it's because you're
never awake before noon.
551
00:24:52,150 --> 00:24:53,990
Or the constant partying.
552
00:24:53,990 --> 00:24:55,540
Or maybe it's the white stuff
553
00:24:55,540 --> 00:24:56,950
you're constantly shoving up your nose.
554
00:24:56,950 --> 00:24:58,074
- I'm a nurse.
555
00:24:58,074 --> 00:24:59,640
I have to stay alert.
556
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,550
I keep kids alive.
557
00:25:01,550 --> 00:25:03,700
- Don't hide behind
the pillar of altruism.
558
00:25:05,510 --> 00:25:07,333
- You just stand there and criticize me.
559
00:25:07,333 --> 00:25:08,166
Easy for you,
560
00:25:08,166 --> 00:25:09,760
you've never experienced
that kind of pressure.
561
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,630
Yeah, I like nose candy.
562
00:25:11,630 --> 00:25:13,000
- I should've been a bigger priority.
563
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,790
- Than the kids dying
in the pediatric ward?
564
00:25:14,790 --> 00:25:16,770
- Yeah, like when I
asked you to quit blow.
565
00:25:16,770 --> 00:25:18,590
You should have for us.
566
00:25:18,590 --> 00:25:19,860
- For you.
567
00:25:19,860 --> 00:25:21,570
Fuck, Paige, you are so selfish.
568
00:25:21,570 --> 00:25:23,000
Why am I still in love with you?
569
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,900
- Don't ask me because I'm
certainly not in love with you.
570
00:25:29,130 --> 00:25:30,786
- This is heavier than
I thought it would be.
571
00:25:30,786 --> 00:25:31,858
(laughing)
572
00:25:31,858 --> 00:25:33,148
- Oh yeah.
573
00:25:33,148 --> 00:25:35,848
They didn't have refined steal yet, duh.
574
00:25:35,848 --> 00:25:37,800
(giggling)
575
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,530
By the late 12th Century,
576
00:25:39,530 --> 00:25:42,220
so the swords in western
Europe had evolved
577
00:25:42,220 --> 00:25:47,080
into cruciform weapons with
circular wheel pommels, usually,
578
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,390
and normally with a fuller or bloodgroove
579
00:25:49,390 --> 00:25:50,590
running down the center.
580
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,034
- I feel like Wonder Woman.
581
00:25:54,034 --> 00:25:55,340
(laughing)
582
00:25:55,340 --> 00:25:56,190
- Coffee's ready.
583
00:25:57,350 --> 00:25:59,320
- Can I set this down?
584
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,000
- [Bridget] Only with great caution.
585
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:01,833
- Okay.
586
00:26:07,420 --> 00:26:09,253
Do I act like I'm attracted to Evan?
587
00:26:10,130 --> 00:26:11,260
- What? No.
588
00:26:11,260 --> 00:26:13,290
Where'd you even get that idea?
589
00:26:13,290 --> 00:26:15,930
- Yeah, Ryan believes I'm
secretly in love with her.
590
00:26:15,930 --> 00:26:17,140
- Oh, Ryan.
591
00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:19,830
She certainly has a flair for
the dramatic, doesn't she?
592
00:26:19,830 --> 00:26:22,453
I mean, she should be
writing episodes for Dynasty.
593
00:26:23,412 --> 00:26:24,983
(laughing)
594
00:26:24,983 --> 00:26:28,310
Unless, there's something
you're not telling me.
595
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,320
Ryan, I worry about her.
596
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,350
I mean, the situation with her father.
597
00:26:37,350 --> 00:26:40,270
It's like everyone's
got something to hide,
598
00:26:40,270 --> 00:26:43,150
like we're all keeping a secret
599
00:26:43,150 --> 00:26:45,673
we desperately need to stay concealed.
600
00:26:46,620 --> 00:26:48,513
- I wouldn't know anything about that.
601
00:26:49,815 --> 00:26:51,718
(yelping)
602
00:26:51,718 --> 00:26:52,730
(groaning)
603
00:26:52,730 --> 00:26:55,590
- How is it that I can
restore ancient weaponry
604
00:26:55,590 --> 00:26:58,270
but I can't make a cup of
coffee without injuring myself?
605
00:26:58,270 --> 00:27:00,400
- Because you focus on
the things you love,
606
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,300
like weapons and friends,
with such intensity
607
00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:04,840
that not pouring scolding
hot water on yourself
608
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,870
just simply fades into the background.
609
00:27:06,870 --> 00:27:08,517
- Well maybe I'm just clumsy.
610
00:27:08,517 --> 00:27:12,783
- Clumsy on you is adorable.
611
00:27:12,783 --> 00:27:15,993
- You would be such a good girlfriend.
612
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,730
Why don't you start dating,
put yourself out there?
613
00:27:19,730 --> 00:27:22,860
- I don't believe in the
grand idea of romance.
614
00:27:22,860 --> 00:27:24,960
- Well, surely you've been in love before.
615
00:27:26,180 --> 00:27:28,250
- Do you know how to make
the coffee with the foam or--
616
00:27:28,250 --> 00:27:30,053
- Don't evade the topic.
617
00:27:32,532 --> 00:27:33,365
- Ugh.
618
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,180
When I was in high school
619
00:27:37,180 --> 00:27:38,870
there was a girl, Whitney Merritt,
620
00:27:38,870 --> 00:27:40,560
she was a senior, I was a sophomore
621
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,040
and she would drive me
home everyday from school
622
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,590
in a red Mustang, so I
didn't have to take the bus.
623
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,340
She was the most beautiful
thing I'd ever seen
624
00:27:49,340 --> 00:27:51,960
and I convinced myself that we
were destined to be together
625
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,903
and at the end of the school
year, I professed my love.
626
00:27:56,630 --> 00:27:58,200
- And?
627
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,028
- Well, I never heard from her again.
628
00:28:00,028 --> 00:28:02,200
She went to the Hamptons for the summer
629
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,550
and then straight to a
private woman's college.
630
00:28:05,390 --> 00:28:06,420
I'm still looking for her.
631
00:28:06,420 --> 00:28:09,563
But not her, specifically,
because that would be creepy.
632
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,700
But I'm looking to feel
that way, I felt about her,
633
00:28:12,700 --> 00:28:13,823
with someone else.
634
00:28:14,937 --> 00:28:18,050
In that sense, I guess, I'll
always be chasing Whitney.
635
00:28:18,050 --> 00:28:18,883
- So,
636
00:28:20,180 --> 00:28:22,570
this is there you got all the angst
637
00:28:22,570 --> 00:28:24,463
that inspired you to become a writer.
638
00:28:25,307 --> 00:28:26,513
- I'm afraid it did.
639
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:30,830
Yeah, my mom could tell I was
really emotionally devastated
640
00:28:30,830 --> 00:28:33,210
and we didn't have much
641
00:28:33,210 --> 00:28:35,230
but she bought me this
used lime green iBook
642
00:28:35,230 --> 00:28:37,940
into which I just poured by soul.
643
00:28:37,940 --> 00:28:40,080
- And through which you began your journey
644
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,650
to becoming one of the
great novelists of our time.
645
00:28:42,650 --> 00:28:44,541
- More like my journey to
writing engagement announcements
646
00:28:44,541 --> 00:28:46,083
and other forms of drivel.
647
00:28:47,630 --> 00:28:48,463
What I need
648
00:28:49,710 --> 00:28:50,693
is inspiration.
649
00:28:51,628 --> 00:28:53,663
I'm currently stuck in writers' gridlock.
650
00:28:54,610 --> 00:28:56,390
- Maybe
651
00:28:56,390 --> 00:28:59,300
what you need is to, you know.
652
00:29:01,750 --> 00:29:02,693
- Get laid?
653
00:29:03,677 --> 00:29:06,563
Yeah, that seems to be the consensus.
654
00:29:09,740 --> 00:29:10,573
- Hello, ladies.
655
00:29:11,556 --> 00:29:12,625
- Aww.
656
00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:14,958
(chuckling)
657
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:17,940
- Hello, dear.
658
00:29:17,940 --> 00:29:19,640
Productive day in zee noo Germany?
659
00:29:21,446 --> 00:29:24,064
(laughing)
660
00:29:24,064 --> 00:29:24,897
- What is it?
661
00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:25,860
- Something medieval.
662
00:29:28,254 --> 00:29:30,421
(gasping)
663
00:29:33,090 --> 00:29:35,320
Time for Middle East peace conference.
664
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:36,163
- Oh, okay.
665
00:29:39,407 --> 00:29:41,170
- I have to marry Bridget, now.
666
00:29:41,170 --> 00:29:42,290
- Why?
667
00:29:42,290 --> 00:29:43,640
Did you get her knocked up?
668
00:29:44,690 --> 00:29:45,700
Kidding.
669
00:29:45,700 --> 00:29:47,010
What's the rush?
670
00:29:47,010 --> 00:29:48,560
- Dov, when you meet
the girl of your dreams
671
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:49,760
and you look into her eyes,
672
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:51,420
you'll understand that
the most important thing
673
00:29:51,420 --> 00:29:53,063
is never letting her go.
674
00:29:54,814 --> 00:29:57,563
- I wouldn't know anything
about that either.
675
00:29:59,010 --> 00:30:00,868
- I'm gonna kill myself.
676
00:30:00,868 --> 00:30:02,118
- It's only coffee, Evan.
677
00:30:04,870 --> 00:30:07,010
Oops, you did it again.
678
00:30:07,010 --> 00:30:07,843
Who is she?
679
00:30:07,843 --> 00:30:10,790
- An intern at my father's
campaign headquarters.
680
00:30:10,790 --> 00:30:12,570
- I hate cliches.
681
00:30:12,570 --> 00:30:13,470
How old?
682
00:30:13,470 --> 00:30:14,680
- She's in college.
683
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:15,513
- Not what I asked.
684
00:30:15,513 --> 00:30:16,978
- 19.
685
00:30:16,978 --> 00:30:17,887
- Whoa, you like to play low numbers.
686
00:30:17,887 --> 00:30:19,540
- I like to win.
687
00:30:19,540 --> 00:30:20,656
- It's not a casino.
688
00:30:20,656 --> 00:30:23,100
- It's a game, it's all a game.
689
00:30:23,100 --> 00:30:26,510
- I'm just thinking that if
you can't stop screwing around,
690
00:30:26,510 --> 00:30:29,340
you should probably let Bridget
go and find someone else.
691
00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:31,590
(groaning)
692
00:30:33,940 --> 00:30:36,224
- I just need her to marry me.
693
00:30:36,224 --> 00:30:38,350
- [Dov] Do you really feel that marriage
694
00:30:38,350 --> 00:30:40,175
is gonna make you stop
cheating on Bridget?
695
00:30:40,175 --> 00:30:41,330
- Yes.
696
00:30:41,330 --> 00:30:43,027
Hey, this girl, she didn't touch me.
697
00:30:43,027 --> 00:30:44,939
It' a one way street, you understand?
698
00:30:44,939 --> 00:30:46,590
- Well you're driving down
it in the wrong direction.
699
00:30:46,590 --> 00:30:49,133
What's your philosophy,
Evan, eating isn't cheating?
700
00:30:56,356 --> 00:30:59,689
- It's entirely historically inaccurate.
701
00:31:00,810 --> 00:31:01,937
And I love it.
702
00:31:01,937 --> 00:31:03,917
(giggling)
703
00:31:03,917 --> 00:31:04,750
- My baby.
704
00:31:07,084 --> 00:31:12,084
- I guess I'll wear it all the time.
705
00:31:14,325 --> 00:31:17,505
(somber beat music)
706
00:31:17,505 --> 00:31:22,505
♪ Float around in silence ♪
707
00:31:22,601 --> 00:31:27,601
♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪
708
00:31:27,748 --> 00:31:32,748
♪ Float around in silence ♪
709
00:31:32,843 --> 00:31:37,843
♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪
710
00:31:37,990 --> 00:31:42,990
♪ Float around in silence ♪
711
00:31:43,111 --> 00:31:46,547
♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪
712
00:31:46,547 --> 00:31:47,380
- Hey.
713
00:31:47,380 --> 00:31:49,340
- [Bridget] Hey, did Dov leave?
714
00:31:49,340 --> 00:31:51,480
- No, she left right after we ate.
715
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,860
- I didn't notice.
716
00:31:52,860 --> 00:31:53,693
- Thank you.
717
00:31:55,486 --> 00:31:58,077
(chuckling)
718
00:31:58,077 --> 00:32:00,433
- "Your eyes are blue torch light.
719
00:32:01,607 --> 00:32:03,393
"Ice-kissed frost fire.
720
00:32:04,517 --> 00:32:06,470
"My wasted heart melts there."
721
00:32:06,470 --> 00:32:07,830
- You know, it's cute,
722
00:32:07,830 --> 00:32:10,957
like a middle school
love note or something.
723
00:32:10,957 --> 00:32:13,210
- "Ice-kissed frost fire?"
724
00:32:13,210 --> 00:32:14,669
You wrote this for me?
725
00:32:14,669 --> 00:32:17,197
- No, you wrote it for me.
726
00:32:17,197 --> 00:32:19,304
Oh shit, or didn't you?
727
00:32:19,304 --> 00:32:21,290
- Evan, that's not even my handwriting.
728
00:32:21,290 --> 00:32:22,953
- You're saying you didn't write that.
729
00:32:25,150 --> 00:32:26,740
- Where did you find that?
730
00:32:26,740 --> 00:32:29,260
- Just in the kitchen, just over there.
731
00:32:29,260 --> 00:32:31,360
- Somebody wrote it.
732
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,723
Looks like you have a secret admirer.
733
00:32:34,850 --> 00:32:38,691
- They're out of luck because
I have eyes only for you.
734
00:32:38,691 --> 00:32:41,858
(exciting beat music)
735
00:33:22,685 --> 00:33:24,852
(moaning)
736
00:33:26,287 --> 00:33:28,764
(phone ringing)
737
00:33:28,764 --> 00:33:32,110
- No, no, no.
738
00:33:32,110 --> 00:33:35,040
(phone ringing)
739
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,420
- But.
740
00:33:36,420 --> 00:33:38,700
The answering machine is full.
741
00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:41,367
(phone ringing)
742
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,680
Hello.
743
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,460
- Hey, Bridget.
744
00:33:45,460 --> 00:33:46,363
Is Evan there?
745
00:33:49,390 --> 00:33:50,552
- Evan Dever.
746
00:33:50,552 --> 00:33:52,060
- Evan.
747
00:33:52,060 --> 00:33:53,470
It's Ryan.
748
00:33:53,470 --> 00:33:54,880
I'm locked out of my house.
749
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,080
- What time is it?
750
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,380
- Please.
751
00:33:58,380 --> 00:34:01,030
I was out partying with
these Iranian guys.
752
00:34:01,030 --> 00:34:02,120
No offense.
753
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:03,110
- None taken.
754
00:34:03,110 --> 00:34:04,740
- And we were doing blow all night
755
00:34:04,740 --> 00:34:08,520
and I got that feeling, you know?
756
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,360
The one that says "leave now."
757
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,029
So I got out of there but
my keys aren't in my clutch
758
00:34:13,029 --> 00:34:15,468
and I don't wanna go back alone.
759
00:34:15,468 --> 00:34:18,197
I thought maybe since you're Arab--
760
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,320
- Iranians are Persian, not Arab.
761
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,735
- Oh.
762
00:34:22,735 --> 00:34:25,163
Oh, right.
763
00:34:26,130 --> 00:34:27,183
- Don't worry about it.
764
00:34:28,730 --> 00:34:31,610
- I think you can reason
with them since you're,
765
00:34:31,610 --> 00:34:32,453
you know,
766
00:34:33,870 --> 00:34:35,003
Middle Eastern.
767
00:34:36,190 --> 00:34:37,900
Please come get me.
768
00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:39,270
- I'm on my way.
769
00:34:39,270 --> 00:34:40,796
- Do you speak Arabic?
770
00:34:40,796 --> 00:34:41,983
- No.
771
00:34:41,983 --> 00:34:44,150
(moaning)
772
00:34:47,970 --> 00:34:48,803
- Hello?
773
00:34:50,016 --> 00:34:52,183
(moaning)
774
00:35:01,945 --> 00:35:04,945
(somber beat music)
775
00:35:13,030 --> 00:35:15,280
You were so good at reasoning with them.
776
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,203
Evan Dever, you're my hero.
777
00:35:23,410 --> 00:35:24,510
Do you wanna come inside?
778
00:35:24,510 --> 00:35:26,007
Stay up and party all
night like the old days?
779
00:35:26,007 --> 00:35:28,323
- I have to be at work in three hours.
780
00:35:29,730 --> 00:35:31,030
How'd you afford this?
781
00:35:31,030 --> 00:35:32,203
- My daddy hates me.
782
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:40,558
- Hey.
783
00:35:40,558 --> 00:35:41,541
- Hey.
784
00:35:41,541 --> 00:35:43,865
- I live next door, I'm Misha.
785
00:35:43,865 --> 00:35:45,020
- Evan.
786
00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:47,350
- Are you Ryan's new girl?
787
00:35:47,350 --> 00:35:49,300
- Oh no, we're good friends.
788
00:35:49,300 --> 00:35:50,890
- That's what they all say.
789
00:35:50,890 --> 00:35:53,663
Can you light me one of those, cowboy?
790
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:57,913
- How about I give you this one, cowgirl?
791
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:04,580
- Thanks.
792
00:36:04,580 --> 00:36:05,680
- Think nothing of it.
793
00:36:06,570 --> 00:36:08,434
- You're up late.
794
00:36:08,434 --> 00:36:10,517
- Oh yeah, we were just--
795
00:36:11,390 --> 00:36:14,281
- Wanna come over to my place, hang out?
796
00:36:14,281 --> 00:36:16,020
- I have to be up early.
797
00:36:16,020 --> 00:36:18,363
- Okay, well, you know where to find me.
798
00:36:20,947 --> 00:36:21,982
- Hey!
799
00:36:21,982 --> 00:36:22,815
Come on!
800
00:36:33,264 --> 00:36:36,712
(faint beat music)
801
00:36:36,712 --> 00:36:39,045
(sniffling)
802
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,140
- You know, cocaine is
God's way of telling you
803
00:36:41,140 --> 00:36:42,720
you have too much money.
804
00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:44,670
- I don't need God to tell me I'm rich.
805
00:36:46,035 --> 00:36:47,285
- You need to be careful.
806
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,030
I've seen a lot of pretty girls
807
00:36:49,030 --> 00:36:50,950
ruin their looks with this stuff.
808
00:36:50,950 --> 00:36:54,234
- Well it's a lucky thing I
don't plan on living past 30.
809
00:36:54,234 --> 00:36:55,067
- You have some on your nose.
810
00:36:55,067 --> 00:36:56,863
- It's okay, I'm gonna keep doing it.
811
00:36:59,950 --> 00:37:02,500
God blessed me with
good looks and cursed me
812
00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:04,770
with the knowledge that
they would one day fade.
813
00:37:04,770 --> 00:37:06,563
- There's no reason to rush prophecy.
814
00:37:08,110 --> 00:37:09,690
- How come you and I never got together?
815
00:37:09,690 --> 00:37:11,360
- We've been over this.
816
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:12,640
- Come on.
817
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:13,913
We'd be so cute.
818
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,133
- Because a player can't get played.
819
00:37:18,836 --> 00:37:21,086
(groaning)
820
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,410
- Which one of us is the
play in this scenario?
821
00:37:26,410 --> 00:37:27,293
- We both are.
822
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,030
Additionally, I happen to be madly in love
823
00:37:32,030 --> 00:37:35,150
with you best friend, whom
I also plan on marrying.
824
00:37:35,150 --> 00:37:37,700
- What's with you saying
"whom" all the time?
825
00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:39,663
I went to the same school
as you and I can't do that.
826
00:37:39,663 --> 00:37:40,953
- I was paying attention in class.
827
00:37:40,953 --> 00:37:42,820
- I doubt you even showed up.
828
00:37:42,820 --> 00:37:43,890
- I finished four years in three
829
00:37:43,890 --> 00:37:46,220
and never even cracked the text book.
830
00:37:46,220 --> 00:37:47,083
- Show-off.
831
00:37:49,410 --> 00:37:50,243
I'm cold.
832
00:37:51,270 --> 00:37:52,113
Get on the bed.
833
00:37:59,062 --> 00:38:00,927
(chuckling)
834
00:38:00,927 --> 00:38:02,844
I don't know, it's just
835
00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:07,680
nice having someone like me for me.
836
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,080
- Bridget likes you for you.
837
00:38:10,310 --> 00:38:11,260
- That's different.
838
00:38:12,830 --> 00:38:13,873
She's not a boy.
839
00:38:15,090 --> 00:38:16,093
You're a boy, Evan.
840
00:38:16,950 --> 00:38:18,630
That's why I called you.
841
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:20,330
I wanted a boy to take care of me.
842
00:38:26,459 --> 00:38:29,209
We have the best group, don't we?
843
00:38:30,086 --> 00:38:33,607
You're the king, Bridget's the queen.
844
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,440
I'm definitely the princess.
845
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:38,740
- What are Dov and Trista?
846
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:41,920
- The court jesters.
847
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:47,802
Hey, Evan?
848
00:38:47,802 --> 00:38:48,635
- Mhmm?
849
00:38:49,620 --> 00:38:50,570
- There's something I need to tell you.
850
00:38:50,570 --> 00:38:52,603
- You can tell me anything.
851
00:38:53,993 --> 00:38:55,243
- You're right.
852
00:38:56,163 --> 00:38:57,483
I can always count on you.
853
00:39:06,810 --> 00:39:08,470
Hey,
854
00:39:08,470 --> 00:39:09,363
can you stay?
855
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:12,750
At least until I'm asleep?
856
00:39:12,750 --> 00:39:14,300
- That won't be for a few days.
857
00:39:15,610 --> 00:39:16,443
- Fair point.
858
00:39:18,250 --> 00:39:20,800
Do you think you could at
least sleep here tonight?
859
00:39:22,031 --> 00:39:23,640
I'd feel a lot safer.
860
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,210
- You're paranoid from all the coke.
861
00:39:26,210 --> 00:39:27,143
- Do you think Bridget will mind?
862
00:39:27,143 --> 00:39:29,550
Because I could call her
right now and tell her.
863
00:39:29,550 --> 00:39:31,370
- Bridget forced you to
give her kissing lessons.
864
00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:32,233
She'll be fine.
865
00:39:38,670 --> 00:39:39,703
- Hey, Evan?
866
00:39:40,561 --> 00:39:41,394
- Mhmm?
867
00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:44,567
- I love you.
868
00:39:44,567 --> 00:39:46,203
- You too, sweetheart.
869
00:39:48,275 --> 00:39:50,297
- And not in a gay way.
870
00:40:02,016 --> 00:40:04,085
(huffing)
871
00:40:04,085 --> 00:40:06,668
(upbeat music)
872
00:40:19,050 --> 00:40:20,251
- No.
873
00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:21,898
No, no.
874
00:40:21,898 --> 00:40:23,227
No, no.
875
00:40:23,227 --> 00:40:25,560
(screaming)
876
00:40:27,838 --> 00:40:29,740
(sighing)
877
00:40:29,740 --> 00:40:32,806
(muffled yelling)
878
00:40:32,806 --> 00:40:35,473
(phone ringing)
879
00:40:41,490 --> 00:40:42,870
- Dov isn't here right now,
880
00:40:42,870 --> 00:40:44,490
would you like to leave a message?
881
00:40:44,490 --> 00:40:45,470
- Where the fuck are you?
882
00:40:45,470 --> 00:40:48,190
You know how much this
party means to Bridget.
883
00:40:48,190 --> 00:40:49,500
- What time is it?
884
00:40:49,500 --> 00:40:50,990
- Were you asleep?
885
00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:52,290
Were you dreaming of Evan?
886
00:40:53,210 --> 00:40:54,600
- I hate myself.
887
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,360
- You love someone who doesn't love you.
888
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,710
And I thought writers didn't like cliches.
889
00:40:59,710 --> 00:41:02,140
- It's not so cliche that I hate myself.
890
00:41:02,140 --> 00:41:03,500
- Hang on.
891
00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:05,780
- Dov, you know how much
this party means to Bridget.
892
00:41:05,780 --> 00:41:07,180
- [Ryan] That's what I said.
893
00:41:08,020 --> 00:41:08,990
- I'm dying.
894
00:41:08,990 --> 00:41:09,857
- You're not dying.
895
00:41:09,857 --> 00:41:11,290
You just can't think of
anything better to do.
896
00:41:11,290 --> 00:41:13,450
- Tell her to take some Gas-X.
897
00:41:13,450 --> 00:41:15,633
- Get dressed and get the fuck over here.
898
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,223
- The king has spoken.
899
00:41:25,256 --> 00:41:27,839
(somber music)
900
00:41:31,323 --> 00:41:36,323
Hello?
901
00:41:36,508 --> 00:41:40,008
(exciting New Wave music)
902
00:41:49,828 --> 00:41:50,899
- Oh!
903
00:41:50,899 --> 00:41:51,732
You look amazing!
904
00:41:51,732 --> 00:41:53,833
This is hilarious!
905
00:41:53,833 --> 00:41:56,083
(laughing)
906
00:41:57,651 --> 00:41:59,184
Where's your costume?
907
00:41:59,184 --> 00:42:00,607
This is not good enough.
908
00:42:00,607 --> 00:42:01,524
- Whatever.
909
00:42:02,752 --> 00:42:03,585
- Oh, Ryan.
910
00:42:03,585 --> 00:42:05,741
- You need to wear your glasses.
911
00:42:05,741 --> 00:42:07,910
- Oh, they make me look like a nerd
912
00:42:07,910 --> 00:42:10,472
and they're historically inaccurate.
913
00:42:10,472 --> 00:42:12,160
(laughing)
914
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:13,400
- Dov is coming.
915
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:14,340
- Oh, thanks for calling her.
916
00:42:14,340 --> 00:42:16,370
I didn't realize she wasn't here.
917
00:42:16,370 --> 00:42:17,420
- So, apparently my dad
918
00:42:17,420 --> 00:42:19,930
is in some kind of induced-coma state.
919
00:42:19,930 --> 00:42:21,690
I don't get it, I thought
in Europe they had laws
920
00:42:21,690 --> 00:42:23,860
where they let people die.
921
00:42:23,860 --> 00:42:25,460
- He wants that?
922
00:42:25,460 --> 00:42:26,880
Euthanasia?
923
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:28,330
- Youth in Asia?
924
00:42:28,330 --> 00:42:29,903
What do they have to do with it?
925
00:42:41,839 --> 00:42:44,422
(upbeat music)
926
00:42:50,089 --> 00:42:50,922
- Hi.
927
00:42:57,471 --> 00:42:58,304
- Dov.
928
00:43:02,443 --> 00:43:04,530
- Time for a Mid-East summit?
929
00:43:04,530 --> 00:43:06,520
- I need to unburden my conscience.
930
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:07,720
Do you take confessions?
931
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,510
- Do I look like a priest?
932
00:43:10,510 --> 00:43:12,237
- You look poor and celibate.
933
00:43:14,060 --> 00:43:15,650
- Close enough, what's up?
934
00:43:15,650 --> 00:43:18,730
- My intern, now she says
she's in love with me.
935
00:43:18,730 --> 00:43:20,833
I have to see her every day.
936
00:43:22,340 --> 00:43:23,310
I don't know how to handle it.
937
00:43:23,310 --> 00:43:25,630
- Why don't you be a big boy
and stop committing adultery
938
00:43:25,630 --> 00:43:27,800
with your teenage subordinate?
939
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,970
- It's not adultery unless you're married.
940
00:43:29,970 --> 00:43:31,540
Until Bridget accepts my offer,
941
00:43:31,540 --> 00:43:33,593
I have no reason to decline any others.
942
00:43:34,890 --> 00:43:36,040
- I'll tell you what.
943
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,310
Say three Hail Mary's, four Our Father's
944
00:43:38,310 --> 00:43:39,143
and pray that there's a God
945
00:43:39,143 --> 00:43:41,595
that will absolve you of your sins.
946
00:43:41,595 --> 00:43:43,470
- You know what I like about you?
947
00:43:43,470 --> 00:43:44,340
- Can't wait.
948
00:43:44,340 --> 00:43:45,990
- You always tell it like it is.
949
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:47,690
You never lie.
950
00:43:47,690 --> 00:43:48,850
You're a straight shooter.
951
00:43:48,850 --> 00:43:51,157
- Not so sure about the
"straight" part but.
952
00:43:57,461 --> 00:44:00,961
(exciting New Wave music)
953
00:44:45,820 --> 00:44:47,170
- Hey, over here!
954
00:44:47,170 --> 00:44:48,790
I want you to meet my neighbor's daughter.
955
00:44:48,790 --> 00:44:49,970
She's Jewish too.
956
00:44:49,970 --> 00:44:50,960
Misha!
957
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:52,500
Misha!
958
00:44:52,500 --> 00:44:54,240
Misha,
959
00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:57,023
this is Dov, I was telling you about her.
960
00:44:57,900 --> 00:44:59,543
- I like your haircut.
961
00:45:01,310 --> 00:45:02,143
- Thanks.
962
00:45:02,143 --> 00:45:03,300
No one ever says that.
963
00:45:03,300 --> 00:45:04,140
- Really?
964
00:45:04,140 --> 00:45:05,993
- That's the first thing I noticed.
965
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:11,903
- Spectacular.
966
00:45:14,830 --> 00:45:16,693
I like your bonnet.
967
00:45:18,519 --> 00:45:19,352
- Ummm.
968
00:45:22,020 --> 00:45:23,257
Truth.
969
00:45:23,257 --> 00:45:24,090
- Hmmmmm.
970
00:45:25,310 --> 00:45:26,410
What are your numbers?
971
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:29,440
- Well,
972
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,300
I knew I was a lesbian in high school
973
00:45:31,300 --> 00:45:32,990
but I didn't come out until college,
974
00:45:32,990 --> 00:45:34,893
which is where I met Evan.
975
00:45:35,963 --> 00:45:38,820
But then I Puerto Rico to live
with my dad for a few years
976
00:45:38,820 --> 00:45:40,470
and they're really conservative there,
977
00:45:40,470 --> 00:45:42,393
but I kept in touch with Evan,
978
00:45:44,902 --> 00:45:48,200
so eventually she offered
to pay for grad school
979
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:49,133
if I came back.
980
00:45:51,262 --> 00:45:53,293
- So, what's your answer?
981
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:56,680
- Just Evan.
982
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:57,724
Just one.
983
00:45:57,724 --> 00:45:58,710
- [Trista] Uh-uh.
984
00:45:58,710 --> 00:45:59,640
No, you're lying.
985
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:00,900
- [Ryan] She's not.
986
00:46:00,900 --> 00:46:02,906
She would've told me.
987
00:46:02,906 --> 00:46:04,610
- [Trista] Do you think about other women?
988
00:46:04,610 --> 00:46:06,740
- Well, I mean yeah, I
think about other women
989
00:46:06,740 --> 00:46:07,713
but I love Evan.
990
00:46:08,780 --> 00:46:10,459
- Wow, that's super deep.
991
00:46:10,459 --> 00:46:12,850
(chuckling)
992
00:46:12,850 --> 00:46:14,250
- Okay, so...
993
00:46:16,410 --> 00:46:17,243
Who's next?
994
00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:20,380
- Ryan.
995
00:46:20,380 --> 00:46:21,240
- Yes?
996
00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:22,073
Dare.
997
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:26,740
- Kiss Evan.
998
00:46:26,740 --> 00:46:27,573
- Fuck yeah.
999
00:46:35,802 --> 00:46:38,052
(laughing)
1000
00:46:40,530 --> 00:46:41,433
My turn.
1001
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:46,543
Dov, truth or dare?
1002
00:46:48,130 --> 00:46:48,963
- Truth.
1003
00:46:48,963 --> 00:46:50,093
- [Ryan] You sure about that?
1004
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:53,193
- No.
1005
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:54,953
Dare.
1006
00:46:56,220 --> 00:46:57,093
I choose dare.
1007
00:47:06,180 --> 00:47:07,589
- [Ryan] Kiss Evan.
1008
00:47:07,589 --> 00:47:09,837
(laughing)
1009
00:47:09,837 --> 00:47:10,670
- [Dov] No.
1010
00:47:10,670 --> 00:47:11,503
- Kiss Evan.
1011
00:47:11,503 --> 00:47:12,336
- Nope.
1012
00:47:12,336 --> 00:47:13,220
- [Ryan] That's your
dare, you have to do it.
1013
00:47:13,220 --> 00:47:14,130
- I'm not.
1014
00:47:14,130 --> 00:47:14,963
- Why?
1015
00:47:14,963 --> 00:47:17,170
Is there something wrong with Evan?
1016
00:47:17,170 --> 00:47:18,460
- [Dov] I just don't want to.
1017
00:47:18,460 --> 00:47:19,300
Give me another dare.
1018
00:47:19,300 --> 00:47:20,500
- That's not how it works.
1019
00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:22,030
Do you think I wanted to kiss Evan?
1020
00:47:22,030 --> 00:47:23,210
- [Dov] Yeah, I think you did.
1021
00:47:23,210 --> 00:47:24,640
- Poor example.
1022
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:26,830
- Oh, come on, you're
gonna make her feel bad.
1023
00:47:26,830 --> 00:47:29,030
- Stop, she doesn't have to kiss me.
1024
00:47:29,030 --> 00:47:30,520
- Yes she does.
1025
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:32,840
If I'd welched on every
dare I got in high school,
1026
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:34,523
I wouldn't be the woman I am today.
1027
00:47:34,523 --> 00:47:35,356
(laughing)
1028
00:47:35,356 --> 00:47:37,563
- I think you're arguing
against your own point.
1029
00:47:39,006 --> 00:47:42,735
(faint beat music)
1030
00:47:42,735 --> 00:47:43,568
Awwww.
1031
00:47:45,928 --> 00:47:47,742
- [Ryan] Good job, Evan.
1032
00:47:47,742 --> 00:47:49,293
Was that so bad?
1033
00:47:50,232 --> 00:47:51,732
- [Trista] Oooooh.
1034
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,090
(laughing)
1035
00:48:02,267 --> 00:48:03,100
- There.
1036
00:48:04,370 --> 00:48:06,495
Bridget, Evan, thank you for having me.
1037
00:48:06,495 --> 00:48:07,520
- Come on!
1038
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:08,583
You're not leaving!
1039
00:48:09,687 --> 00:48:10,939
Come back!
1040
00:48:10,939 --> 00:48:12,471
Come back!
1041
00:48:12,471 --> 00:48:13,876
- Awww.
1042
00:48:13,876 --> 00:48:15,281
Bye, Felicia.
1043
00:48:15,281 --> 00:48:17,531
(laughing)
1044
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:20,747
Well, that was a play full of awkwardness.
1045
00:48:20,747 --> 00:48:22,160
- It was like being kissed
1046
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:24,195
by a 12 year old virgin of myself.
1047
00:48:24,195 --> 00:48:25,380
(laughing)
1048
00:48:25,380 --> 00:48:26,980
Gotta disinfect.
1049
00:48:26,980 --> 00:48:28,923
- Drink it, drink all of it.
1050
00:48:28,923 --> 00:48:30,749
Kill the bottle, kill it.
1051
00:48:30,749 --> 00:48:32,130
(laughing)
1052
00:48:32,130 --> 00:48:34,019
Here, here, I got you.
1053
00:48:34,019 --> 00:48:35,181
(laughing)
1054
00:48:35,181 --> 00:48:36,481
I'm just gonna lick it up.
1055
00:48:41,740 --> 00:48:43,003
- Hey, wait up!
1056
00:48:43,980 --> 00:48:45,277
- What were you thinking?
1057
00:48:45,277 --> 00:48:46,733
- I did you a favor.
1058
00:48:47,901 --> 00:48:48,734
- You humiliated me.
1059
00:48:48,734 --> 00:48:50,433
I'm not in love with Evan!
1060
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:52,370
What's it gonna take to get that through
1061
00:48:52,370 --> 00:48:53,770
your pretty, little skull?!
1062
00:48:53,770 --> 00:48:56,080
- Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
1063
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:58,010
Maybe one kiss from your
lips is all it would take
1064
00:48:58,010 --> 00:49:00,950
and Evan would decide to
leave Bridget forever.
1065
00:49:00,950 --> 00:49:02,230
- If only.
1066
00:49:02,230 --> 00:49:03,550
Aren't you the one who's
supposed to be looking out
1067
00:49:03,550 --> 00:49:04,950
for her best interests?
1068
00:49:04,950 --> 00:49:06,500
- What makes you think I'm not?
1069
00:49:07,850 --> 00:49:09,690
- Where'd that come from?
1070
00:49:09,690 --> 00:49:11,890
- I had lunch at Evan's office last week.
1071
00:49:11,890 --> 00:49:13,840
I got a look at Evan's intern.
1072
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:15,880
More specifically, I got a look at the way
1073
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,770
Evan looks at her intern.
1074
00:49:17,770 --> 00:49:19,900
I don't know if she's done anything or not
1075
00:49:19,900 --> 00:49:22,630
but I know Evan and I know people
1076
00:49:22,630 --> 00:49:24,040
and I know that the one thing
1077
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,083
that people never, ever do is change.
1078
00:49:28,870 --> 00:49:30,920
Listen, this had been a
little too much reality
1079
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:31,860
for one night.
1080
00:49:31,860 --> 00:49:34,780
I like substances and I like abusing them.
1081
00:49:34,780 --> 00:49:35,743
- I don't know, Ry.
1082
00:49:36,730 --> 00:49:40,620
- Some dweezoid left a mondo
of Purple Urkel at my place.
1083
00:49:40,620 --> 00:49:42,050
It's yours for the taking.
1084
00:49:42,050 --> 00:49:43,850
As am I.
1085
00:49:43,850 --> 00:49:44,863
- Purple Urkel?
1086
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,510
- I cordially invite you
to night of bad decisions
1087
00:49:48,510 --> 00:49:50,773
and debauchery at my apartment.
1088
00:49:50,773 --> 00:49:52,940
(sighing)
1089
00:49:54,570 --> 00:49:56,810
- Then I cordially
accept but I'm still mad.
1090
00:49:56,810 --> 00:49:58,580
- I can live with that.
1091
00:49:58,580 --> 00:50:00,020
- Are you gonna try to seduce me again?
1092
00:50:00,020 --> 00:50:02,490
- Depends, do you want me to?
1093
00:50:02,490 --> 00:50:03,355
- Yeah
1094
00:50:03,355 --> 00:50:04,515
(laughing)
1095
00:50:04,515 --> 00:50:08,432
(exciting New Wave beat music)
1096
00:50:14,157 --> 00:50:16,740
(gong ringing)
1097
00:50:21,790 --> 00:50:23,470
- Hey, Jew bu.
1098
00:50:23,470 --> 00:50:25,630
- This isn't Buddha, this is Shiva.
1099
00:50:25,630 --> 00:50:27,580
- I thought you were in
an exclusive relationship
1100
00:50:27,580 --> 00:50:28,780
with the God of Abraham.
1101
00:50:29,870 --> 00:50:32,000
- I took an Asian
Philosophy class in college.
1102
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,250
I didn't understand a word of it but
1103
00:50:34,250 --> 00:50:35,800
it was graded on a curve so,
1104
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:37,200
I passed with flying colors.
1105
00:50:38,190 --> 00:50:43,190
- And what brought on this
bout of religious bi curiosity?
1106
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,400
- Trying, again, to write my novel
1107
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:47,900
and failing, again, to
come up with a single word.
1108
00:50:49,310 --> 00:50:51,520
- And how's this ritual helping you?
1109
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:54,383
- Clearly, you understand nothing
about the writing process.
1110
00:50:57,340 --> 00:50:58,553
- I saw Paige yesterday.
1111
00:50:59,610 --> 00:51:00,463
- How'd it go?
1112
00:51:01,483 --> 00:51:02,633
- I didn't talk to her.
1113
00:51:03,852 --> 00:51:05,560
- You can't keep standing
outside your old house
1114
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,000
and spying on her.
1115
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:08,050
- Why not?
1116
00:51:08,050 --> 00:51:09,250
- What are yo afraid of?
1117
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:11,273
- Dying alone.
1118
00:51:12,579 --> 00:51:14,073
- I think we're in the same boat.
1119
00:51:15,095 --> 00:51:17,297
More like a sinking ship.
1120
00:51:17,297 --> 00:51:19,023
Except, I've long accepted the fact
1121
00:51:19,023 --> 00:51:20,460
that the woman who owns my heart
1122
00:51:20,460 --> 00:51:22,710
will never return my feelings.
1123
00:51:22,710 --> 00:51:24,460
- Which bitch are you in love with?
1124
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:26,890
- That's between me and my God.
1125
00:51:26,890 --> 00:51:29,423
Which God, I haven't decided yet.
1126
00:51:30,860 --> 00:51:32,780
- If you're obsessed with
some unobtainable girl,
1127
00:51:32,780 --> 00:51:34,810
you have to profess to her your love.
1128
00:51:34,810 --> 00:51:36,560
- I'd rather keep writing
engagement announcements
1129
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:38,570
for the rest of my natural born life.
1130
00:51:38,570 --> 00:51:39,923
- So much irony in that.
1131
00:51:41,140 --> 00:51:43,340
- You could offer me a million
dollars to write a book,
1132
00:51:43,340 --> 00:51:44,173
right now,
1133
00:51:44,173 --> 00:51:46,870
I wouldn't be able to come
up with a single thing.
1134
00:51:46,870 --> 00:51:48,880
- I know what you need
to write a book about.
1135
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:50,850
Write a book about a group of lesbians
1136
00:51:50,850 --> 00:51:52,410
who are constantly creating
1137
00:51:52,410 --> 00:51:54,300
unnecessary and neuritic problems
1138
00:51:54,300 --> 00:51:58,030
to keep them from dealing with
their terrifying problems,
1139
00:51:58,030 --> 00:51:59,590
like reality.
1140
00:51:59,590 --> 00:52:00,740
- Come on.
1141
00:52:00,740 --> 00:52:01,993
No one would read that.
1142
00:52:08,500 --> 00:52:10,440
- I'm getting a promotion at the museum.
1143
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:12,373
- That's so great.
1144
00:52:12,373 --> 00:52:16,100
- And I might even be getting
a fellowship in Romania.
1145
00:52:16,100 --> 00:52:18,773
- Are you still gonna have a
big, gay Republican wedding?
1146
00:52:20,105 --> 00:52:21,700
- I don't even wanna think about it.
1147
00:52:21,700 --> 00:52:23,620
- Can I be a bridesmaid?
1148
00:52:23,620 --> 00:52:26,470
No one's ever asked me to be a bridesmaid.
1149
00:52:26,470 --> 00:52:27,680
- I'm just so
1150
00:52:29,350 --> 00:52:30,490
unsure.
1151
00:52:30,490 --> 00:52:33,323
- But you and Evan have
a fairytale romance.
1152
00:52:34,516 --> 00:52:36,313
- I love Evan, I do.
1153
00:52:38,537 --> 00:52:40,757
"Ice-kissed frost fire."
1154
00:52:41,890 --> 00:52:42,723
- What?
1155
00:52:44,490 --> 00:52:45,323
- Nothing.
1156
00:52:49,410 --> 00:52:51,060
Okay.
1157
00:52:51,060 --> 00:52:55,307
Someone wrote Evan an anonymous love note.
1158
00:52:55,307 --> 00:52:56,750
- Oh my God.
1159
00:52:56,750 --> 00:52:58,053
That's so pathetic.
1160
00:52:59,180 --> 00:53:01,833
- You don't know anything
about it, do you?
1161
00:53:01,833 --> 00:53:04,916
(muffled beat music)
1162
00:53:06,530 --> 00:53:07,890
- So good.
1163
00:53:07,890 --> 00:53:09,480
Where'd you learn to
make coffee like this?
1164
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:11,140
- Late nights in stuffy museums,
1165
00:53:11,140 --> 00:53:13,190
a person will resort
to desperate measures.
1166
00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:15,443
- Desperate measures is
my area of expertise.
1167
00:53:17,030 --> 00:53:18,430
- Hey, Ryan, how's your dad?
1168
00:53:19,720 --> 00:53:21,520
- Still hanging on, the old bastard.
1169
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,397
- I'm worried about you.
1170
00:53:25,397 --> 00:53:29,410
You don't seem bothered that
your dad is going to die.
1171
00:53:29,410 --> 00:53:31,210
- I'm very bothered.
1172
00:53:31,210 --> 00:53:32,930
Once I collect inheritance,
it's gonna put me
1173
00:53:32,930 --> 00:53:35,316
in an entirely new tax bracket.
1174
00:53:35,316 --> 00:53:36,149
- That's the other thing.
1175
00:53:36,149 --> 00:53:38,463
You seem obsessed with getting his money.
1176
00:53:39,820 --> 00:53:41,483
- Once I become rich,
1177
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:43,833
I mean, rich rich,
1178
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:47,510
I'll never have to work
another day of my life.
1179
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:51,290
I'll just be tattooing
for shits and giggles.
1180
00:53:54,230 --> 00:53:57,480
Evan's paying your tuition
for grad school, right?
1181
00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:59,581
- Yeah, but it's just temporary.
1182
00:53:59,581 --> 00:54:02,160
When I get my career going,
I'm gonna pay her back.
1183
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:05,560
- And you're not paying
rent to live with her?
1184
00:54:06,430 --> 00:54:07,263
- I try.
1185
00:54:07,263 --> 00:54:10,970
I insisted, actually, but
she wouldn't hear of it.
1186
00:54:10,970 --> 00:54:13,060
She refused to take anything from me
1187
00:54:13,060 --> 00:54:15,613
because we're in love.
1188
00:54:18,890 --> 00:54:19,723
- What a world.
1189
00:54:20,740 --> 00:54:21,573
- Yeah.
1190
00:54:21,573 --> 00:54:24,120
The world is crazy, right?
1191
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:24,953
- No.
1192
00:54:26,630 --> 00:54:27,577
I meant, yours.
1193
00:54:36,124 --> 00:54:39,573
(video cassette player buzzing)
1194
00:54:39,573 --> 00:54:42,156
(upbeat music)
1195
00:54:49,381 --> 00:54:50,980
- I'm thinking June 1st.
1196
00:54:50,980 --> 00:54:52,840
That'll give you enough time to prepare.
1197
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,330
You'll have a wedding planner
to assist you, of course.
1198
00:54:55,330 --> 00:54:58,030
- I just got a promotion, I
barely have time as it is.
1199
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:00,700
- I'm thinking a garden wedding.
1200
00:55:00,700 --> 00:55:01,660
I can see it now.
1201
00:55:01,660 --> 00:55:02,870
Our lesbian nuptials will be
1202
00:55:02,870 --> 00:55:05,170
the Republican social
gathering of the year.
1203
00:55:05,170 --> 00:55:06,870
- Do you want a wedding ceremony
1204
00:55:06,870 --> 00:55:10,075
or a political gathering
worthy of CNN coverage?
1205
00:55:10,075 --> 00:55:11,200
- I can see it now.
1206
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,360
The Republicans can sit
on my side of the isle
1207
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:16,129
and since your family isn't coming, sorry,
1208
00:55:16,129 --> 00:55:18,673
anyone who are Democrats
appear can sit on yours.
1209
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:22,993
- Ugh.
1210
00:55:24,090 --> 00:55:27,070
I've been, okay, do you
mind if I say something?
1211
00:55:27,070 --> 00:55:28,330
Offensive?
1212
00:55:28,330 --> 00:55:29,569
- Just when I thought this conversation
1213
00:55:29,569 --> 00:55:31,670
couldn't get any more interesting.
1214
00:55:31,670 --> 00:55:33,300
- Okay.
1215
00:55:33,300 --> 00:55:34,133
Okay.
1216
00:55:35,740 --> 00:55:39,180
Look, I've never seen
a white Arab than you.
1217
00:55:39,180 --> 00:55:41,400
I've never seen a whiter person than you.
1218
00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:44,140
I mean, it's all too easy
with your golden locks
1219
00:55:44,140 --> 00:55:47,723
and your fair skin to
avoid discrimination.
1220
00:55:49,090 --> 00:55:49,940
- What about you?
1221
00:55:51,055 --> 00:55:53,120
You think in a million years
anyone would think you were gay
1222
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:54,670
from looking at you?
1223
00:55:54,670 --> 00:55:56,730
Because that's what I have to live with.
1224
00:55:56,730 --> 00:56:00,210
Every person who sees me sees a dyke.
1225
00:56:00,210 --> 00:56:01,580
- It's not a competition.
1226
00:56:01,580 --> 00:56:02,950
- My point is that this is a case
1227
00:56:02,950 --> 00:56:04,750
of the pot calling the kettle white.
1228
00:56:05,740 --> 00:56:07,620
- As sure is the day is long,
1229
00:56:07,620 --> 00:56:09,650
they will fuck you.
1230
00:56:09,650 --> 00:56:11,870
They will fuck you and me
1231
00:56:11,870 --> 00:56:16,050
and every gay and lesbian
and brown and black person.
1232
00:56:16,050 --> 00:56:18,760
You are delusional if you think
1233
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:20,580
you're gonna come out ahead on this.
1234
00:56:20,580 --> 00:56:22,280
- Now tell me how you really feel.
1235
00:56:23,902 --> 00:56:24,735
- Come on.
1236
00:56:27,410 --> 00:56:30,550
- Bridget, this is just background noise.
1237
00:56:30,550 --> 00:56:31,383
Let's get married and start
1238
00:56:31,383 --> 00:56:33,193
an exciting new chapter in our lives.
1239
00:56:34,380 --> 00:56:37,360
- Do you know many happily
married people, Evan?
1240
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:38,293
Because I don't.
1241
00:56:41,021 --> 00:56:42,320
(sighing)
1242
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:43,958
This house is falling apart.
1243
00:56:43,958 --> 00:56:45,980
- You know, I think you
wanted to redo the house
1244
00:56:45,980 --> 00:56:47,266
so you threw that Halloween party
1245
00:56:47,266 --> 00:56:49,168
knowing how much damage it would make.
1246
00:56:49,168 --> 00:56:51,418
(laughing)
1247
00:56:52,604 --> 00:56:54,724
- We need to redo the carpets.
1248
00:56:54,724 --> 00:56:56,570
The walls need new paint.
1249
00:56:56,570 --> 00:56:58,953
- I need to get an
estimate on the foundation.
1250
00:57:00,730 --> 00:57:01,563
- Yeah.
1251
00:57:02,670 --> 00:57:04,220
Let's fix the foundation first.
1252
00:57:07,812 --> 00:57:09,434
♪ Play the movie ♪
1253
00:57:09,434 --> 00:57:11,336
♪ I want you to smile ♪
1254
00:57:11,336 --> 00:57:12,831
♪ Shut out all the worries ♪
1255
00:57:12,831 --> 00:57:15,193
♪ Dream away for awhile ♪
1256
00:57:15,193 --> 00:57:18,664
♪ The look you had in
your eyes back then ♪
1257
00:57:18,664 --> 00:57:20,823
♪ We'll pretend ♪
1258
00:57:20,823 --> 00:57:22,943
♪ It's 85 again ♪
1259
00:57:22,943 --> 00:57:24,667
♪ Play the tape ♪
1260
00:57:24,667 --> 00:57:26,749
♪ Make me feel like I'm whole ♪
1261
00:57:26,749 --> 00:57:30,554
♪ Take me back again to
see the look of that crow ♪
1262
00:57:30,554 --> 00:57:33,913
♪ The power of love is
back on the screen ♪
1263
00:57:33,913 --> 00:57:36,225
♪ I will have ♪
1264
00:57:36,225 --> 00:57:38,881
♪ 85 again ♪
1265
00:57:38,881 --> 00:57:42,048
(exciting beat music)
1266
00:58:06,298 --> 00:58:08,260
- Ryan, your hands are shaking.
1267
00:58:08,260 --> 00:58:09,320
- It's freezing in here.
1268
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:10,610
Would it kill you to
pay your heating bill?
1269
00:58:10,610 --> 00:58:11,680
- Just.
1270
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:13,310
No, don't stab out my eye.
1271
00:58:13,310 --> 00:58:15,310
My insurance plan sucks!
1272
00:58:15,310 --> 00:58:16,143
- [Ryan] Damn!
1273
00:58:18,650 --> 00:58:19,800
- [Dov] How's your dad?
1274
00:58:20,849 --> 00:58:23,270
- Ugh, he won't die.
1275
00:58:23,270 --> 00:58:26,580
Did I tell you why I
became a tattoo artist?
1276
00:58:26,580 --> 00:58:28,050
It was to punish him.
1277
00:58:28,050 --> 00:58:30,780
I got this fancy degree in art history
1278
00:58:30,780 --> 00:58:32,660
that cost him a fortune and now I use it
1279
00:58:32,660 --> 00:58:34,340
to give people something they're regret
1280
00:58:34,340 --> 00:58:35,630
for the rest of their lives.
1281
00:58:35,630 --> 00:58:36,930
Like he regrets having me.
1282
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:42,090
Bridget, you are so beautiful.
1283
00:58:42,090 --> 00:58:43,720
If I were you, I wouldn't
give a second thought
1284
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:45,670
to the intern at Evan's office.
1285
00:58:45,670 --> 00:58:47,433
You're much prettier than she is.
1286
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:49,763
Oh, excuse me.
1287
00:58:51,890 --> 00:58:55,250
- It's like a "don't do drugs, kids" PSA.
1288
00:58:56,276 --> 00:58:59,443
(exciting beat music)
1289
00:59:17,210 --> 00:59:18,819
- Attention!
1290
00:59:18,819 --> 00:59:20,109
Attention!
1291
00:59:20,109 --> 00:59:21,776
Ladies and gentlemen
1292
00:59:22,637 --> 00:59:24,655
and everyone else.
1293
00:59:24,655 --> 00:59:27,210
I have an announcement!
1294
00:59:27,210 --> 00:59:28,340
Bridget!
1295
00:59:28,340 --> 00:59:29,240
Bridget!
1296
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:30,383
Where are you, baby?
1297
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:35,060
I know most girls,
1298
00:59:35,060 --> 00:59:38,330
I know most girls lose their
virginity on prom night
1299
00:59:38,330 --> 00:59:41,600
but tonight, I'm hoping that my true love
1300
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:44,240
will make an honest fella out of me.
1301
00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:45,860
- She's wasted.
1302
00:59:45,860 --> 00:59:49,183
- This has been burning a
whole in my pocket for weeks.
1303
00:59:50,290 --> 00:59:54,710
Bridget, will you do me
the extraordinary honor
1304
00:59:55,670 --> 00:59:57,233
of becoming my bride?
1305
00:59:59,410 --> 01:00:00,593
- Evan, you're drunk.
1306
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:03,500
- Sapphire to match your eyes.
1307
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:07,823
- There's something we
need to talk about first.
1308
01:00:12,890 --> 01:00:14,060
What are we gonna do about
1309
01:00:14,060 --> 01:00:15,810
all your late nights at the office?
1310
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:17,863
- What do you mean?
1311
01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:21,520
- I'm talking about all
the special attention
1312
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:23,070
you've been giving your intern.
1313
01:00:33,276 --> 01:00:34,145
(groaning)
1314
01:00:34,145 --> 01:00:35,230
- You told her!
1315
01:00:35,230 --> 01:00:36,070
Why would you tell her?!
1316
01:00:36,070 --> 01:00:38,160
- [Bridget] Evan, stop, let her go!
1317
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:39,383
Tell me what?
1318
01:00:39,383 --> 01:00:40,603
- I wasn't me!
1319
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:48,103
- She didn't tell me anything.
1320
01:00:49,890 --> 01:00:52,040
You just told me everything.
1321
01:00:56,941 --> 01:00:57,774
- It's all right.
1322
01:00:57,774 --> 01:01:00,767
She's always like playing hard to get.
1323
01:01:04,284 --> 01:01:06,520
(upbeat music)
1324
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:08,460
- Hey, it's all right.
1325
01:01:08,460 --> 01:01:11,440
It's not a party until
something gets broken.
1326
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:12,740
- Yeah, like my neck.
1327
01:01:13,860 --> 01:01:16,943
(upbeat dance music)
1328
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:41,350
- Thanks for letting me stay here.
1329
01:01:41,350 --> 01:01:44,810
I really didn't wanna go home tonight.
1330
01:01:44,810 --> 01:01:46,210
- Are you sure you wanna stay here?
1331
01:01:46,210 --> 01:01:48,030
I can take the sofa, no problem.
1332
01:01:48,030 --> 01:01:48,863
- I don't wanna do that to you.
1333
01:01:48,863 --> 01:01:50,420
I don't wanna kick you out of your bed.
1334
01:01:50,420 --> 01:01:52,643
- I mean, it's actually totally okay.
1335
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:54,913
- What is that?
1336
01:01:56,270 --> 01:01:57,350
- Oh.
1337
01:01:57,350 --> 01:01:58,183
That.
1338
01:01:58,183 --> 01:01:59,150
That's a long story.
1339
01:02:00,570 --> 01:02:03,120
Also the closest thing I've
had to a woman in my bedroom
1340
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:04,072
in a long time.
1341
01:02:04,072 --> 01:02:07,060
Well, in this house in forever.
1342
01:02:07,060 --> 01:02:09,461
- As long as it's not a sex doll.
1343
01:02:09,461 --> 01:02:10,294
- What?
1344
01:02:10,294 --> 01:02:11,570
Oh no, that would be weird.
1345
01:02:11,570 --> 01:02:14,404
- Weirder than having a
mannequin in you bedroom?
1346
01:02:14,404 --> 01:02:17,200
(laughing)
1347
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:19,670
- When I was in college, I
was a creative writing major
1348
01:02:19,670 --> 01:02:22,310
who was thoroughly invested in her art
1349
01:02:22,310 --> 01:02:24,582
and in hopes of attracting young ladies
1350
01:02:24,582 --> 01:02:26,669
I came up with this backstory
1351
01:02:26,669 --> 01:02:29,280
that the reason my dad
spiraled into alcoholism
1352
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:33,330
was because he lost his
job in a mannequin factory.
1353
01:02:33,330 --> 01:02:36,593
- I bet the ladies couldn't resist.
1354
01:02:38,670 --> 01:02:39,780
Was any of that true?
1355
01:02:39,780 --> 01:02:41,273
- Only the alcoholism part.
1356
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:43,350
Oh.
1357
01:02:43,350 --> 01:02:44,650
I didn't mean to go there.
1358
01:02:46,550 --> 01:02:48,060
While we're on the topic,
1359
01:02:48,060 --> 01:02:49,510
would you care for a bourbon?
1360
01:02:50,460 --> 01:02:51,293
- Sure.
1361
01:02:55,910 --> 01:02:58,800
Oh, "A The Dummies'
Guide to the Dark Ages."
1362
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:00,950
I didn't know you were
into medieval stuff.
1363
01:03:01,900 --> 01:03:02,733
- Yeah, that's.
1364
01:03:04,877 --> 01:03:07,887
- "Let me show you how
a kiss should taste."
1365
01:03:09,900 --> 01:03:11,290
- Not ready for anyone to see that.
1366
01:03:11,290 --> 01:03:12,427
- Ah, still in utero?
1367
01:03:12,427 --> 01:03:14,677
(giggling)
1368
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:30,960
Do you have a book full of
photos or Ryan somewhere
1369
01:03:30,960 --> 01:03:34,500
or maybe a secret stash of photos
1370
01:03:34,500 --> 01:03:36,420
on each one of your friends?
1371
01:03:36,420 --> 01:03:38,163
- No, you're my one and only.
1372
01:03:44,517 --> 01:03:46,367
- "Your eyes are blue-torched light."
1373
01:03:52,717 --> 01:03:54,377
- "Ice-kissed frost fire."
1374
01:03:55,497 --> 01:03:57,667
- [Both] "My wasted heart melts there."
1375
01:04:00,070 --> 01:04:00,903
- It was you?
1376
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:03,713
- Yeah.
1377
01:04:08,580 --> 01:04:11,246
- You wrote that for Evan.
1378
01:04:11,246 --> 01:04:13,360
- No, no.
1379
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,350
I wrote that for you.
1380
01:04:15,350 --> 01:04:17,763
For you to find.
1381
01:04:22,270 --> 01:04:24,030
When you're alone and you
think no one's watching,
1382
01:04:24,030 --> 01:04:26,750
you get this look on your face
1383
01:04:26,750 --> 01:04:27,988
and I always wonder what you're thinking
1384
01:04:27,988 --> 01:04:30,440
because you look so sad
1385
01:04:30,440 --> 01:04:32,233
but your eyes, they just,
1386
01:04:33,378 --> 01:04:35,823
they turn the most
remarkable shade of blue.
1387
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:39,493
- You notice that?
1388
01:04:40,670 --> 01:04:44,163
- Bridget, nothing about you
has ever escaped my attention.
1389
01:04:50,660 --> 01:04:52,340
- Maybe if you stare at
her house long enough,
1390
01:04:52,340 --> 01:04:54,667
she'll decide she doesn't
want to divorce you anymore.
1391
01:04:54,667 --> 01:04:55,917
- That's what I'm hoping.
1392
01:04:57,470 --> 01:04:59,460
- This is technically trespassing.
1393
01:04:59,460 --> 01:05:02,780
If we end up in jail, I'm
gonna miss Black Friday.
1394
01:05:02,780 --> 01:05:05,310
- [Trista] Calm down, you'll
be out by Cyber Monday.
1395
01:05:05,310 --> 01:05:06,143
- What's that?
1396
01:05:08,950 --> 01:05:10,520
Hey, Trista?
1397
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:11,870
Can you spend the night at my house?
1398
01:05:11,870 --> 01:05:14,040
- What's up with you being
afraid of your apartment?
1399
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:17,640
- Evan says it's because I'm
paranoid from all the coke.
1400
01:05:17,640 --> 01:05:19,520
Hey, can we talk about something?
1401
01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:20,403
- Shit.
1402
01:05:22,135 --> 01:05:23,348
- [Ryan] What's going on?
1403
01:05:23,348 --> 01:05:25,073
(Trista laughing)
1404
01:05:25,073 --> 01:05:25,990
- Oh, look.
1405
01:05:27,900 --> 01:05:28,733
Oh no.
1406
01:05:28,733 --> 01:05:29,566
No, no, no, no.
1407
01:05:30,950 --> 01:05:32,120
She's with someone.
1408
01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:32,953
- No way.
1409
01:05:34,855 --> 01:05:36,670
- That bitch.
1410
01:05:36,670 --> 01:05:37,970
- Maybe that's her sister.
1411
01:05:41,650 --> 01:05:43,573
I really hope that's not her sister.
1412
01:05:45,460 --> 01:05:46,293
- I've had enough.
1413
01:05:46,293 --> 01:05:47,606
- Trista, no!
1414
01:05:47,606 --> 01:05:48,856
- Let go of me.
1415
01:05:49,897 --> 01:05:52,917
(groaning)
1416
01:05:52,917 --> 01:05:54,917
I want to go fight her.
1417
01:05:57,509 --> 01:05:59,690
I'm gonna fight her.
1418
01:05:59,690 --> 01:06:02,343
Jesus Christ, you've got
freakish coke strength.
1419
01:06:03,511 --> 01:06:05,761
(groaning)
1420
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,310
Here we go, you're coming with me.
1421
01:06:12,310 --> 01:06:14,560
(groaning)
1422
01:06:15,592 --> 01:06:17,291
I gotta go.
1423
01:06:17,291 --> 01:06:19,730
(shushing)
1424
01:06:19,730 --> 01:06:20,563
Oh my God.
1425
01:06:23,204 --> 01:06:24,920
- I'm performing an intervention.
1426
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:25,753
- Jesus.
1427
01:06:27,508 --> 01:06:28,591
- Don't move.
1428
01:06:38,810 --> 01:06:40,700
- [Trista] Get off me!
1429
01:06:40,700 --> 01:06:42,460
- You may be stronger than me
1430
01:06:42,460 --> 01:06:43,780
but I am meaner.
1431
01:06:43,780 --> 01:06:46,026
And you are not going into that house.
1432
01:06:46,026 --> 01:06:48,193
(sighing)
1433
01:06:55,780 --> 01:06:58,261
- Evan's always been the one, you know?
1434
01:06:58,261 --> 01:07:02,300
I never even had any other
girlfriends in high school.
1435
01:07:02,300 --> 01:07:03,710
Believe it or not,
1436
01:07:03,710 --> 01:07:05,093
I was kinda of a geek.
1437
01:07:05,093 --> 01:07:07,609
(giggling)
1438
01:07:07,609 --> 01:07:09,363
Sometimes I do wonder,
1439
01:07:10,380 --> 01:07:11,767
I think to myself,
1440
01:07:11,767 --> 01:07:14,556
"What if Evan hadn't
picked me up that night?"
1441
01:07:14,556 --> 01:07:18,700
I don't necessarily subscribe
to M-Theory or String Theory
1442
01:07:18,700 --> 01:07:20,725
but the very possibility of a multiverse
1443
01:07:20,725 --> 01:07:22,219
has got to make you wonder.
1444
01:07:22,219 --> 01:07:26,053
- Well, if you hadn't been with
Evan, we never would've met.
1445
01:07:27,170 --> 01:07:30,273
- I thought I'd be angry, furious, upset.
1446
01:07:31,610 --> 01:07:33,440
Instead, I just feel...
1447
01:07:34,970 --> 01:07:36,093
Emptiness.
1448
01:07:38,413 --> 01:07:42,755
Speaking of emptiness.
1449
01:07:42,755 --> 01:07:44,922
(sighing)
1450
01:07:47,340 --> 01:07:50,680
- The reason I spend so
much time around Evan
1451
01:07:50,680 --> 01:07:52,660
is because wherever she is
1452
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:56,270
you are there too.
1453
01:07:56,270 --> 01:07:57,103
- Huh?
1454
01:07:57,103 --> 01:07:59,970
- And I think the reason
I'm not seeing anyone
1455
01:07:59,970 --> 01:08:02,310
or looking to meet anyone is because
1456
01:08:03,950 --> 01:08:05,620
to me you are perfect.
1457
01:08:07,670 --> 01:08:09,170
- Oh my God.
1458
01:08:09,170 --> 01:08:10,570
- Since the moment I met you
1459
01:08:11,671 --> 01:08:12,504
I've been
1460
01:08:13,930 --> 01:08:14,823
secretly,
1461
01:08:15,790 --> 01:08:16,763
madly,
1462
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:20,113
in love with you.
1463
01:08:24,420 --> 01:08:26,260
- How could I not have seen this?
1464
01:08:31,050 --> 01:08:32,910
How could I not have seen you?
1465
01:08:32,910 --> 01:08:34,660
- I wish I could just
1466
01:08:35,732 --> 01:08:39,410
cut you into a million pieces
and scatter you across the sky
1467
01:08:39,410 --> 01:08:41,023
and count you like stars.
1468
01:08:42,510 --> 01:08:44,140
- I think that
1469
01:08:45,210 --> 01:08:49,483
is the most romantic thing
anyone has ever said to me.
1470
01:08:50,368 --> 01:08:54,285
(exciting New Wave beat music)
1471
01:09:18,590 --> 01:09:21,482
- I've loved you since
the moment I saw you.
1472
01:09:21,482 --> 01:09:26,482
Not a day's gone by I
haven't dreamed of this!
1473
01:09:31,354 --> 01:09:33,195
(smacking)
1474
01:09:33,195 --> 01:09:35,330
(gasping)
1475
01:09:35,330 --> 01:09:36,163
- I'm sorry.
1476
01:09:37,010 --> 01:09:38,393
I don't know why I did that.
1477
01:09:40,117 --> 01:09:42,058
- You're a goddess.
1478
01:09:42,058 --> 01:09:46,196
(exciting New Wave beat music)
1479
01:09:46,196 --> 01:09:48,363
(huffing)
1480
01:10:01,710 --> 01:10:03,877
(huffing)
1481
01:10:15,949 --> 01:10:18,199
(laughing)
1482
01:10:26,914 --> 01:10:28,986
- My bra.
(giggling)
1483
01:10:28,986 --> 01:10:32,903
(exciting New Wave beat music)
1484
01:10:43,893 --> 01:10:46,060
(moaning)
1485
01:11:00,811 --> 01:11:04,894
- You're the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
1486
01:11:09,704 --> 01:11:12,871
(dramatic beat music)
1487
01:11:16,673 --> 01:11:19,340
(ambient music)
1488
01:11:29,048 --> 01:11:30,670
Hey.
1489
01:11:30,670 --> 01:11:31,503
- Hey.
1490
01:11:38,537 --> 01:11:39,903
Wait.
1491
01:11:39,903 --> 01:11:41,236
I wanna see you.
1492
01:11:46,940 --> 01:11:48,102
There you are.
1493
01:11:48,102 --> 01:11:50,352
(giggling)
1494
01:11:54,743 --> 01:11:56,910
(moaning)
1495
01:12:01,550 --> 01:12:04,079
(knocking)
1496
01:12:04,079 --> 01:12:05,152
- Trista?
1497
01:12:05,152 --> 01:12:05,985
- [Evan] It's Evan.
1498
01:12:05,985 --> 01:12:07,601
(gasping)
1499
01:12:07,601 --> 01:12:09,708
- How is she here?
1500
01:12:09,708 --> 01:12:12,071
- No one locked the door!
1501
01:12:12,071 --> 01:12:12,904
Hold on.
1502
01:12:12,904 --> 01:12:14,339
(thudding)
Shit!
1503
01:12:14,339 --> 01:12:15,412
(groaning)
1504
01:12:15,412 --> 01:12:16,995
Hold on one minute.
1505
01:12:22,013 --> 01:12:23,560
- A thousand pardons
1506
01:12:23,560 --> 01:12:26,283
for my behavior last night.
1507
01:12:28,050 --> 01:12:30,750
I know you are not the
one who told Bridget.
1508
01:12:30,750 --> 01:12:32,940
I know you wouldn't do that.
1509
01:12:32,940 --> 01:12:34,180
- Hey.
1510
01:12:34,180 --> 01:12:36,870
Now is not the best time right now.
1511
01:12:36,870 --> 01:12:38,403
If you know what I mean.
1512
01:12:40,665 --> 01:12:42,560
- Oh shit.
1513
01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:44,446
You have a girl back there?
1514
01:12:44,446 --> 01:12:46,090
(laughing)
1515
01:12:46,090 --> 01:12:48,135
- Yeah, I can't wait to
tell you all about it.
1516
01:12:48,135 --> 01:12:49,830
- I gotta tell you, I
always wondered about you.
1517
01:12:49,830 --> 01:12:51,790
I thought maybe you were
one of those straight girls
1518
01:12:51,790 --> 01:12:52,840
who pretends to be gay
1519
01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:55,160
because she thinks it
makes her more interesting.
1520
01:12:55,160 --> 01:12:57,000
- Evan, you have no idea.
1521
01:12:57,000 --> 01:12:58,130
- Oh.
1522
01:12:58,130 --> 01:13:00,883
Hey, just confirm for me
that it's a woman in there.
1523
01:13:09,770 --> 01:13:11,370
- This isn't what it looks like.
1524
01:13:12,280 --> 01:13:14,330
- It looks like you fucked my girlfriend.
1525
01:13:16,400 --> 01:13:19,433
- That's exactly what it looks like.
1526
01:13:20,910 --> 01:13:22,903
- You know it wasn't her idea, Evan.
1527
01:13:26,420 --> 01:13:28,350
- I know that if we fight, you'll win,
1528
01:13:28,350 --> 01:13:30,980
but I will inflict as much
damage on you as possible
1529
01:13:30,980 --> 01:13:31,900
before you bring me down.
1530
01:13:31,900 --> 01:13:33,320
And you will have to kill me
1531
01:13:33,320 --> 01:13:35,220
before I let you go anywhere near her.
1532
01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:41,393
- You got a lot of, what is
that word you people use?
1533
01:13:42,460 --> 01:13:44,120
Chutzpah?
1534
01:13:44,120 --> 01:13:45,517
Yeah, chutzpah.
1535
01:13:46,950 --> 01:13:48,170
- Stop it, Evan.
1536
01:13:48,170 --> 01:13:50,023
- Do not speak to me!
1537
01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:57,463
Do not ever come back to my house again.
1538
01:13:59,250 --> 01:14:01,033
I don't ever wanna see your face.
1539
01:14:29,221 --> 01:14:32,221
(somber beat music)
1540
01:14:56,010 --> 01:14:56,843
- Hey.
1541
01:14:58,230 --> 01:14:59,780
Hey!
1542
01:14:59,780 --> 01:15:01,153
- Hey, sleepyhead.
1543
01:15:02,133 --> 01:15:03,093
- What time is it?
1544
01:15:04,240 --> 01:15:05,900
- Time for me to go to work.
1545
01:15:05,900 --> 01:15:08,690
I'll be in so much
trouble if I'm late again.
1546
01:15:08,690 --> 01:15:10,230
- How long have I been here?
1547
01:15:10,230 --> 01:15:12,173
- Hello, since we got back.
1548
01:15:13,180 --> 01:15:14,530
- Wait.
1549
01:15:14,530 --> 01:15:17,650
We went to Paige's, you tackled me
1550
01:15:17,650 --> 01:15:21,647
and why don't I remember
anything after that?
1551
01:15:21,647 --> 01:15:24,850
- We came back here and
you were super upset
1552
01:15:24,850 --> 01:15:27,150
and I have some diazepam, so--
1553
01:15:27,150 --> 01:15:28,720
- How much did you give me?
1554
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:30,440
- You asked for a loading dose.
1555
01:15:30,440 --> 01:15:31,760
- Fuck.
1556
01:15:31,760 --> 01:15:34,310
- And I don't play so I got out
these old pharmacy textbooks
1557
01:15:34,310 --> 01:15:37,711
and I asked you your weight
and I added 20 pounds
1558
01:15:37,711 --> 01:15:41,848
because I know I always take
off 20 when anyone asks me.
1559
01:15:41,848 --> 01:15:43,010
- I gotta get out of here.
1560
01:15:43,010 --> 01:15:44,060
- I wouldn't do that.
1561
01:15:46,220 --> 01:15:47,053
Oh no.
1562
01:15:55,200 --> 01:15:57,323
Like I said, a loading dose.
1563
01:15:58,380 --> 01:15:59,313
Up we go.
1564
01:16:00,737 --> 01:16:02,180
(groaning)
1565
01:16:02,180 --> 01:16:03,733
- This is why my wife left me.
1566
01:16:06,270 --> 01:16:09,053
No one should have to live like this.
1567
01:16:09,053 --> 01:16:11,303
- I decline my invitation
to your pity party.
1568
01:16:14,550 --> 01:16:18,107
- This is like "Whatever
Happened to Baby Jane."
1569
01:16:19,232 --> 01:16:20,580
And I'm baby Jane.
(laughing)
1570
01:16:20,580 --> 01:16:22,410
- If the rule that you
followed led you here,
1571
01:16:22,410 --> 01:16:24,013
of what use was the rule?
1572
01:16:24,882 --> 01:16:27,132
(groaning)
1573
01:16:28,202 --> 01:16:29,977
(laughing)
1574
01:16:29,977 --> 01:16:32,630
- You dare get existential on me now.
1575
01:16:32,630 --> 01:16:35,633
- You're Monday-morning
quarterbacking your entire life.
1576
01:17:02,400 --> 01:17:03,233
- Shoot.
1577
01:17:07,545 --> 01:17:08,393
(Evan grunting)
1578
01:17:08,393 --> 01:17:09,750
(gasping)
1579
01:17:09,750 --> 01:17:11,289
You scared me.
1580
01:17:11,289 --> 01:17:12,963
- I had your things sent to you.
1581
01:17:13,990 --> 01:17:16,890
- Yeah, well, you forgot some
of my weapons, so here I am.
1582
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:19,560
I thought you'd be sleeping.
1583
01:17:19,560 --> 01:17:22,120
- I've reverted to my old schedule.
1584
01:17:22,120 --> 01:17:24,913
Sleep by day, live by night.
1585
01:17:27,250 --> 01:17:28,570
- What about your job?
1586
01:17:28,570 --> 01:17:30,170
- Oh yeah, I haven't been going.
1587
01:17:31,320 --> 01:17:32,153
- Why?
1588
01:17:34,820 --> 01:17:37,590
- My dad took a contribution
from an organization
1589
01:17:37,590 --> 01:17:40,700
whose leader once said that
gays should be rounded up
1590
01:17:40,700 --> 01:17:41,923
and thrown off cliffs.
1591
01:17:42,980 --> 01:17:43,930
- Are you quitting?
1592
01:17:52,410 --> 01:17:54,040
I moved in with Ryan.
1593
01:17:54,040 --> 01:17:54,873
- I heard.
1594
01:17:55,830 --> 01:17:56,687
Will I also be footing the bill
1595
01:17:56,687 --> 01:17:58,353
for your share of Ryan's rent?
1596
01:17:59,319 --> 01:18:01,180
- I don't have to listen to this.
1597
01:18:01,180 --> 01:18:02,013
- Sweets,
1598
01:18:03,830 --> 01:18:05,530
you couldn't ignore me if you try.
1599
01:18:06,700 --> 01:18:08,410
- Don't throw that in my face!
1600
01:18:08,410 --> 01:18:09,243
- What?
1601
01:18:09,243 --> 01:18:11,370
That I've been paying for
your Ivy League education?
1602
01:18:11,370 --> 01:18:12,840
Or that I have supported you for years
1603
01:18:12,840 --> 01:18:17,840
and I've only asked you for
one, one thing, in return?!
1604
01:18:18,300 --> 01:18:21,330
- How could I marry someone
who did what you did to me?
1605
01:18:21,330 --> 01:18:22,400
- I did nothing to you!
1606
01:18:22,400 --> 01:18:23,320
- Yeah, that's right,
1607
01:18:23,320 --> 01:18:24,880
you were too busy doing
it to someone else!
1608
01:18:24,880 --> 01:18:26,240
- You let Dov fuck you!
1609
01:18:26,240 --> 01:18:29,120
I know it wasn't the other
way around, pillow princess.
1610
01:18:29,120 --> 01:18:31,203
You've always been more of a taker.
1611
01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:36,680
- You have fucked everyone and everything
1612
01:18:36,680 --> 01:18:38,980
and you've been doing
it since the day we met!
1613
01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:41,133
And I,
1614
01:18:43,120 --> 01:18:45,100
I loved you too much to admit to myself
1615
01:18:45,100 --> 01:18:45,933
what I knew to be true.
1616
01:18:45,933 --> 01:18:47,990
- Love me or you needed me?
1617
01:18:47,990 --> 01:18:49,750
Which one, Bridget?
1618
01:18:49,750 --> 01:18:50,583
You love me?
1619
01:18:51,450 --> 01:18:54,080
It's very easy to be
taken care of, isn't it?
1620
01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:56,580
Makes it so much easier
not to see the things
1621
01:18:56,580 --> 01:18:58,010
you don't want to.
1622
01:19:00,090 --> 01:19:00,923
What changed it for you?
1623
01:19:00,923 --> 01:19:03,192
What made you go, "You know,
I've had a really great time
1624
01:19:03,192 --> 01:19:04,777
"not having to work for anything
1625
01:19:04,777 --> 01:19:06,107
"but now I think I'm gonna get rid of
1626
01:19:06,107 --> 01:19:07,597
"good old reliable Evan."
1627
01:19:09,990 --> 01:19:11,963
- I fucking love you!
1628
01:19:12,923 --> 01:19:16,310
I've loved you since I was 18 years old.
1629
01:19:16,310 --> 01:19:18,120
Not a day has gone by since
1630
01:19:18,120 --> 01:19:20,920
that you haven't been the
love of my fucking life!
1631
01:19:20,920 --> 01:19:23,510
I know you're a cheater,
I know you screw around.
1632
01:19:23,510 --> 01:19:25,913
That is why I wouldn't marry you!
1633
01:19:25,913 --> 01:19:28,650
- I will stop fucking around
when I have tangible proof
1634
01:19:28,650 --> 01:19:29,813
that you're not in this for a free ride.
1635
01:19:29,813 --> 01:19:31,870
- You had something better than tangible,
1636
01:19:31,870 --> 01:19:34,290
you had something real!
1637
01:19:34,290 --> 01:19:36,140
- You're discussing us in past tense.
1638
01:19:37,220 --> 01:19:39,037
Doesn't get any more real than that.
1639
01:19:41,758 --> 01:19:43,533
Shut up for a second.
1640
01:19:43,533 --> 01:19:44,950
Shut the fuck up.
1641
01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,050
Or maybe it was your guilt that was real.
1642
01:19:51,570 --> 01:19:54,450
- And why would I feel guilty, Evan?
1643
01:19:54,450 --> 01:19:57,170
- I've always been there for
you when no one else was.
1644
01:19:57,170 --> 01:19:59,553
Maybe you were guilting
yourself into staying with me.
1645
01:20:02,511 --> 01:20:04,043
- Stupid.
1646
01:20:04,043 --> 01:20:05,593
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
1647
01:20:08,780 --> 01:20:10,810
You are telling me that
you've been fucking around
1648
01:20:10,810 --> 01:20:13,147
this whole time because you thought
1649
01:20:13,147 --> 01:20:15,580
I felt I owed you something?!
1650
01:20:15,580 --> 01:20:17,744
That I was using you?!
1651
01:20:17,744 --> 01:20:20,980
And all you had to do was
ask me and I woulda told you
1652
01:20:20,980 --> 01:20:22,523
that none of that was true!
1653
01:20:27,610 --> 01:20:28,543
I love you.
1654
01:20:30,660 --> 01:20:32,040
I love you! I love you!
1655
01:20:32,040 --> 01:20:33,003
I love you!
1656
01:20:39,280 --> 01:20:40,820
Say
1657
01:20:40,820 --> 01:20:41,653
something.
1658
01:20:47,103 --> 01:20:48,603
- Good luck in the real world.
1659
01:20:52,011 --> 01:20:54,261
(smacking)
1660
01:20:55,242 --> 01:20:57,575
(chuckling)
1661
01:21:06,880 --> 01:21:08,730
- This is the part where I leave you.
1662
01:21:33,811 --> 01:21:36,728
(faint beat music)
1663
01:21:55,207 --> 01:21:57,817
"The Shipwreck Diaries.
1664
01:21:57,817 --> 01:22:00,950
"A Novel by Dov Dolenz."
1665
01:22:03,080 --> 01:22:04,383
You wrote a book?
1666
01:22:06,812 --> 01:22:08,110
(laughing)
1667
01:22:08,110 --> 01:22:08,943
- Yeah.
1668
01:22:11,050 --> 01:22:11,970
- Let's go read it.
1669
01:22:11,970 --> 01:22:12,803
- Okay.
1670
01:22:25,943 --> 01:22:27,090
- Dov.
1671
01:22:27,090 --> 01:22:27,923
- Yeah?
1672
01:22:29,740 --> 01:22:30,883
- This is amazing.
1673
01:22:32,510 --> 01:22:33,710
- Are you sure?
1674
01:22:33,710 --> 01:22:35,580
I mean, I've had women say that before
1675
01:22:35,580 --> 01:22:38,535
but I haven't always
trusted their sincerity.
1676
01:22:38,535 --> 01:22:39,368
- Yes.
1677
01:22:40,320 --> 01:22:43,310
This is so exciting, I
mean, you wrote a book.
1678
01:22:43,310 --> 01:22:45,530
- I'll be back to writing
engagement announcements tomorrow.
1679
01:22:45,530 --> 01:22:48,313
- Yeah, maybe, but this
book is gonna be big.
1680
01:22:49,780 --> 01:22:51,513
When did you do this?
1681
01:22:52,400 --> 01:22:54,000
- The last three nights I just stayed up.
1682
01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:55,323
It was pouring out of me.
1683
01:22:56,390 --> 01:22:57,223
It was you.
1684
01:22:59,020 --> 01:23:01,970
Bridget, I couldn't have written
this if it wasn't for you.
1685
01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:08,913
- Dov.
1686
01:23:11,886 --> 01:23:14,053
(moaning)
1687
01:23:23,555 --> 01:23:25,722
(huffing)
1688
01:23:44,500 --> 01:23:46,673
- Can I be godmother
to your finger babies?
1689
01:23:49,360 --> 01:23:50,193
- Very funny.
1690
01:23:51,657 --> 01:23:53,824
(moaning)
1691
01:24:00,592 --> 01:24:03,363
I need to share this book with Ryan.
1692
01:24:03,363 --> 01:24:04,196
- No
1693
01:24:04,196 --> 01:24:05,029
- I gotta show her.
1694
01:24:07,560 --> 01:24:09,690
Yeah, yes, yes, yes.
1695
01:24:19,853 --> 01:24:22,020
(sighing)
1696
01:24:25,210 --> 01:24:26,373
I'll be back.
1697
01:24:30,964 --> 01:24:33,553
(sighing)
1698
01:24:33,553 --> 01:24:37,303
Ryan, Dov wrote a novel
and it's really good.
1699
01:24:38,526 --> 01:24:40,100
- "The Shipwreck Diaries."
1700
01:24:40,100 --> 01:24:41,600
I loved that when I was a kid.
1701
01:24:42,440 --> 01:24:45,123
- This is Dov's book.
1702
01:24:46,420 --> 01:24:47,360
- Gotta split.
1703
01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:49,233
One of my friends is waiting on me.
1704
01:24:49,233 --> 01:24:51,380
Have I got any messages?
1705
01:24:51,380 --> 01:24:52,651
Is my dad dead?
1706
01:24:52,651 --> 01:24:53,484
(giggling)
Dad-dead.
1707
01:24:53,484 --> 01:24:54,540
- Ryan, are these the new friends
1708
01:24:54,540 --> 01:24:56,120
that Evan had to save you from?
1709
01:24:56,120 --> 01:24:58,723
- Oh, that Evan, telling
tales out of school.
1710
01:25:05,520 --> 01:25:07,053
- She's falling apart.
1711
01:25:07,930 --> 01:25:10,130
- Hey, even the Sistine
Chapel is crumbling.
1712
01:25:11,790 --> 01:25:12,623
- Yeah.
1713
01:25:14,170 --> 01:25:15,003
Dov,
1714
01:25:17,040 --> 01:25:17,943
your book.
1715
01:25:19,170 --> 01:25:20,530
- Second thoughts.
1716
01:25:20,530 --> 01:25:22,470
Not as great as you thought
it was five minutes ago?
1717
01:25:22,470 --> 01:25:23,510
- It's amazing.
1718
01:25:23,510 --> 01:25:26,543
It's just the characters,
1719
01:25:28,010 --> 01:25:29,860
it's us, right, the gang?
1720
01:25:29,860 --> 01:25:32,340
You, me, Trista,
1721
01:25:32,340 --> 01:25:33,680
Evan, Ryan?
1722
01:25:33,680 --> 01:25:36,233
- Yeah but I'm not
anticipating any lawsuits.
1723
01:25:38,980 --> 01:25:40,317
- And I'm Kahlan
1724
01:25:40,317 --> 01:25:41,353
and you're Cara?
1725
01:25:42,720 --> 01:25:44,451
- Pretty obvious, huh?
1726
01:25:44,451 --> 01:25:45,620
- And Kahlan and Cara,
1727
01:25:45,620 --> 01:25:47,730
they wind up together in the end, right?
1728
01:25:47,730 --> 01:25:50,090
Specifically moving in
together and getting married.
1729
01:25:50,090 --> 01:25:53,610
- Oh, right, but Bridget,
it's just a book.
1730
01:25:53,610 --> 01:25:56,693
I've been up the past
two days, three days.
1731
01:25:58,627 --> 01:26:00,989
It's all artistic license.
1732
01:26:00,989 --> 01:26:01,822
- I know.
1733
01:26:04,410 --> 01:26:06,133
I just need you to understand,
1734
01:26:08,090 --> 01:26:10,223
I just got out of a really bad situation.
1735
01:26:11,900 --> 01:26:14,300
- Is this what you think
this is, a bad situation?
1736
01:26:14,300 --> 01:26:15,303
- No, no.
1737
01:26:18,268 --> 01:26:19,583
It's wonderful.
1738
01:26:21,160 --> 01:26:23,603
But it's still a situation.
1739
01:26:25,247 --> 01:26:26,080
- Oh.
1740
01:26:27,420 --> 01:26:28,253
Okay.
1741
01:26:29,770 --> 01:26:31,717
- That night, when I
found out you'd written
1742
01:26:31,717 --> 01:26:33,103
"blue torch light" for me,
1743
01:26:33,990 --> 01:26:36,200
and then you wrote
another poem on the spot
1744
01:26:37,600 --> 01:26:41,060
and beautiful words were
just coming out of you.
1745
01:26:41,060 --> 01:26:43,293
Beautiful words always come out of you.
1746
01:26:44,310 --> 01:26:49,000
I just got so lost in
everything that you were saying
1747
01:26:49,000 --> 01:26:51,500
and in everything that you are.
1748
01:26:51,500 --> 01:26:52,993
- And I'm really good in bed.
1749
01:26:59,683 --> 01:27:01,733
- It's easy to fall in love with someone.
1750
01:27:04,520 --> 01:27:06,543
Falling out of love,
1751
01:27:07,410 --> 01:27:09,733
that is a lot harder.
1752
01:27:11,860 --> 01:27:14,010
- It always comes back
to Evan, doesn't it?
1753
01:27:16,830 --> 01:27:17,850
- I wish...
1754
01:27:19,420 --> 01:27:20,253
I...
1755
01:27:23,040 --> 01:27:25,513
I wish I could forget.
1756
01:27:26,470 --> 01:27:27,303
But...
1757
01:27:29,590 --> 01:27:31,140
She's been the love of my life.
1758
01:27:38,800 --> 01:27:40,001
- Okay.
1759
01:27:40,001 --> 01:27:41,373
I understand.
1760
01:27:43,570 --> 01:27:44,983
You gave me the inspiration.
1761
01:27:46,560 --> 01:27:49,393
I got the book but I lost the girl.
1762
01:27:50,570 --> 01:27:55,200
- You are gonna get so
much more out of this book
1763
01:27:55,200 --> 01:27:56,773
than you ever would me.
1764
01:27:58,310 --> 01:27:59,823
- I respectfully disagree.
1765
01:28:06,900 --> 01:28:08,253
- I don't wanna lose you.
1766
01:28:11,877 --> 01:28:12,710
I need you.
1767
01:28:14,700 --> 01:28:16,783
(crying)
1768
01:28:19,510 --> 01:28:20,360
- I need you too.
1769
01:28:22,235 --> 01:28:25,902
(faint dramatic beat music)
1770
01:28:30,640 --> 01:28:32,820
- Nobody understands the
rules for the Brat Pack.
1771
01:28:32,820 --> 01:28:35,620
The rules for the Brat Pack are, A,
1772
01:28:35,620 --> 01:28:37,900
starring in either "St. Elmo's Fire"
1773
01:28:37,900 --> 01:28:39,060
or "The Breakfast Club,"
1774
01:28:39,060 --> 01:28:40,970
and B, being in at least one other movie
1775
01:28:40,970 --> 01:28:42,640
with anther Brat Packer.
1776
01:28:42,640 --> 01:28:44,910
So that's eight people.
1777
01:28:44,910 --> 01:28:46,700
Judd Nelson,
1778
01:28:46,700 --> 01:28:48,200
Rob Lowe,
1779
01:28:48,200 --> 01:28:49,810
Molly Ringwald,
1780
01:28:49,810 --> 01:28:51,750
Anthony Michael Hall, Emilio Estevez,
1781
01:28:51,750 --> 01:28:54,170
Ally Sheedy, Andrew McCarthy,
1782
01:28:54,170 --> 01:28:56,620
and last but certainly not least,
1783
01:28:56,620 --> 01:28:57,680
Demi Moore.
1784
01:28:57,680 --> 01:28:58,650
- Who didn't make the cut?
1785
01:28:58,650 --> 01:29:00,070
- Mare Winningham.
1786
01:29:00,070 --> 01:29:02,400
Mare was in "St. Elmo's Fire"
1787
01:29:02,400 --> 01:29:05,000
but never in another movie
with another Brat Packer.
1788
01:29:10,119 --> 01:29:11,460
- Mare Winningham.
1789
01:29:11,460 --> 01:29:12,390
Who is he?
1790
01:29:12,390 --> 01:29:15,603
- Oh my God, I don't even
know why I talk to you.
1791
01:29:16,785 --> 01:29:19,880
- Whenever you start talking
about pistachios and inter--
1792
01:29:19,880 --> 01:29:21,900
- Pastiche and intertertextuality.
1793
01:29:21,900 --> 01:29:23,610
- Right, intertertextuality.
1794
01:29:23,610 --> 01:29:26,710
It sounds like a new sexual orientation.
1795
01:29:26,710 --> 01:29:29,460
- If you were on the Table
of Elements, you'd be moron.
1796
01:29:36,000 --> 01:29:37,033
Yeah, it's me!
1797
01:29:44,217 --> 01:29:46,300
(crying)
1798
01:29:48,062 --> 01:29:49,812
- Is your phone hot?
1799
01:30:06,163 --> 01:30:06,996
- Evan?
1800
01:30:13,046 --> 01:30:13,879
Evan?
1801
01:30:18,206 --> 01:30:19,039
Evan?
1802
01:30:26,328 --> 01:30:27,161
Evan.
1803
01:30:29,266 --> 01:30:30,263
Evan.
1804
01:30:32,900 --> 01:30:34,480
Hey.
1805
01:30:34,480 --> 01:30:35,313
Evan!
1806
01:30:35,313 --> 01:30:36,153
Come on, wake up!
1807
01:30:39,850 --> 01:30:40,683
Evan.
1808
01:30:42,062 --> 01:30:44,229
(sighing)
1809
01:30:51,909 --> 01:30:54,076
(gasping)
1810
01:30:56,050 --> 01:30:57,190
I had to.
1811
01:30:57,190 --> 01:30:59,583
- Why are you here?
1812
01:31:00,640 --> 01:31:01,473
Again!
1813
01:31:02,769 --> 01:31:03,713
Fuck!
1814
01:31:05,460 --> 01:31:07,040
Nice, She-Ra.
1815
01:31:07,040 --> 01:31:08,453
- It's invaluable, okay?
1816
01:31:08,453 --> 01:31:10,030
I couldn't leave it in the car.
1817
01:31:10,030 --> 01:31:12,310
- It's nice to know you
cherish something so dearly.
1818
01:31:12,310 --> 01:31:14,000
- Why haven't you been taking my calls?
1819
01:31:14,000 --> 01:31:15,280
- I'm focused on the future.
1820
01:31:15,280 --> 01:31:17,660
Not the past.
1821
01:31:17,660 --> 01:31:21,170
- This isn't about me and
you, Evan, this is about Ryan.
1822
01:31:21,170 --> 01:31:23,300
She called me while I was
at the museum, crying.
1823
01:31:23,300 --> 01:31:24,617
She said the debt collectors
are coming to take away
1824
01:31:24,617 --> 01:31:26,759
all of her stuff tomorrow.
1825
01:31:26,759 --> 01:31:27,870
- I thought she was loaded.
1826
01:31:27,870 --> 01:31:30,820
- I don't understand it
anymore than you do but
1827
01:31:30,820 --> 01:31:33,100
she said she's gonna lock
herself in her bathroom
1828
01:31:33,100 --> 01:31:35,560
and drown herself in the bathtub.
1829
01:31:35,560 --> 01:31:37,860
- That is literally an
impossible thing to do.
1830
01:31:39,640 --> 01:31:41,860
- Well we have to do something.
1831
01:31:41,860 --> 01:31:43,790
- This is not am MP.
1832
01:31:43,790 --> 01:31:44,623
It's a YP.
1833
01:31:46,070 --> 01:31:47,750
Your problem.
1834
01:31:47,750 --> 01:31:48,830
- Evan, what's wrong with you?
1835
01:31:48,830 --> 01:31:50,353
This is Ryan.
1836
01:31:51,610 --> 01:31:52,923
She needs our help.
1837
01:32:17,321 --> 01:32:19,571
(jiggling)
1838
01:32:25,290 --> 01:32:27,247
Oh, I gotta get this off.
1839
01:32:33,788 --> 01:32:34,871
Get this off.
1840
01:32:36,279 --> 01:32:40,621
Oh, my baby.
1841
01:32:40,621 --> 01:32:41,454
Thank you.
1842
01:32:46,725 --> 01:32:47,709
- Bridget.
1843
01:32:47,709 --> 01:32:48,542
- What?
1844
01:32:52,580 --> 01:32:53,770
Ryan?
1845
01:32:53,770 --> 01:32:55,100
- Stay away!
1846
01:32:55,100 --> 01:32:56,800
If you come any closer, I'll jump.
1847
01:32:56,800 --> 01:32:58,840
- Oh, for the love of.
1848
01:32:58,840 --> 01:33:00,770
- Ryan, sweetheart,
1849
01:33:00,770 --> 01:33:02,210
we've all been there.
1850
01:33:02,210 --> 01:33:04,280
Remember that time I
crashed my dad's Delorean
1851
01:33:04,280 --> 01:33:06,450
and decided to drink myself to death?
1852
01:33:06,450 --> 01:33:09,000
You stayed up all night
with me feeding me edamame.
1853
01:33:10,630 --> 01:33:12,123
- We're gonna call the police
if you don't stop this.
1854
01:33:12,123 --> 01:33:14,030
- I'll throw myself over the railing
1855
01:33:14,030 --> 01:33:15,360
before you even get to the phone.
1856
01:33:15,360 --> 01:33:17,403
- Maybe threatening her
wasn't the best idea.
1857
01:33:18,306 --> 01:33:20,247
(doorknob jiggling)
1858
01:33:20,247 --> 01:33:21,792
- What the fuck is it now?
1859
01:33:21,792 --> 01:33:23,209
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1860
01:33:28,290 --> 01:33:30,630
- You invite Dov to
Ryan's nervous breakdown?
1861
01:33:30,630 --> 01:33:31,463
- [Bridget] I called everyone.
1862
01:33:31,463 --> 01:33:32,783
- It's a real party.
1863
01:33:37,970 --> 01:33:39,580
- How is she?
1864
01:33:39,580 --> 01:33:42,140
- Ryan, you're scaring us.
1865
01:33:42,140 --> 01:33:43,740
- Leave me alone.
1866
01:33:43,740 --> 01:33:45,840
- Honey, look,
1867
01:33:45,840 --> 01:33:48,520
at that distance, with your
weight at that velocity,
1868
01:33:48,520 --> 01:33:51,730
you'd be more likely to
break your legs than die.
1869
01:33:51,730 --> 01:33:52,770
- [Evan] Keep talking to her like that
1870
01:33:52,770 --> 01:33:54,940
and she'll definitely
decide to kill herself.
1871
01:33:54,940 --> 01:33:56,164
- Honey, why don't you let us just,
1872
01:33:56,164 --> 01:33:59,137
you look so tired, we'll come
up there and talk to you.
1873
01:34:00,596 --> 01:34:01,880
- I heard you wrote a book.
1874
01:34:01,880 --> 01:34:02,713
- Yeah.
1875
01:34:03,980 --> 01:34:04,813
Wanna read it?
1876
01:34:14,159 --> 01:34:15,710
Evan, don't mess around!
1877
01:34:15,710 --> 01:34:17,120
- Evan, stop it, that's priceless.
1878
01:34:17,120 --> 01:34:18,350
I mean, invaluable.
1879
01:34:18,350 --> 01:34:20,730
- Me or the sword?
1880
01:34:20,730 --> 01:34:23,499
- Fuck, it's turning into Hamlet in here.
1881
01:34:23,499 --> 01:34:28,499
I hope they all die in the end.
1882
01:34:29,190 --> 01:34:31,180
- You stole the thing I love most.
1883
01:34:31,180 --> 01:34:32,920
- Maybe if you hadn't
treated her like a thing,
1884
01:34:32,920 --> 01:34:34,370
I wouldn't have been able to.
1885
01:34:35,320 --> 01:34:37,540
- Evan, you can do tens
of thousands of dollars
1886
01:34:37,540 --> 01:34:38,940
worth of damage to that sword.
1887
01:34:38,940 --> 01:34:40,557
- Okay, she's worried about the sword.
1888
01:34:40,557 --> 01:34:42,690
- I'm not concerned with
consequences anymore.
1889
01:34:42,690 --> 01:34:44,400
Thanks to your little pep talk.
1890
01:34:44,400 --> 01:34:45,700
- What did you say to her?
1891
01:34:47,230 --> 01:34:50,550
- Maybe I told her I
was leaving her for good
1892
01:34:50,550 --> 01:34:52,340
and then maybe I hit her?
1893
01:34:52,340 --> 01:34:53,520
- Okay, okay.
1894
01:34:53,520 --> 01:34:55,250
She's armed like a knife
and pushed to the brink
1895
01:34:55,250 --> 01:34:57,020
and I fucked her girlfriend.
1896
01:34:57,020 --> 01:34:58,843
- Any last words, Dov Dolenz?
1897
01:35:01,270 --> 01:35:02,103
- I love her.
1898
01:35:07,795 --> 01:35:08,712
I love her.
1899
01:35:10,210 --> 01:35:11,043
I love her.
1900
01:35:13,363 --> 01:35:15,176
(gasping)
1901
01:35:15,176 --> 01:35:17,135
- There is no peace in the Middle East.
1902
01:35:17,135 --> 01:35:19,420
- This could technically be
construed as a hate crime.
1903
01:35:19,420 --> 01:35:22,116
- This is an act of war!
1904
01:35:22,116 --> 01:35:24,283
(yelling)
1905
01:35:30,129 --> 01:35:32,160
(gasping)
1906
01:35:32,160 --> 01:35:33,910
- I think you may have anger issues.
1907
01:35:33,910 --> 01:35:35,800
- You don't need to worry about anything.
1908
01:35:35,800 --> 01:35:37,372
Not where you're going.
1909
01:35:37,372 --> 01:35:39,140
(yelping)
1910
01:35:39,140 --> 01:35:41,962
(screaming)
1911
01:35:41,962 --> 01:35:44,379
(whimpering)
1912
01:35:48,016 --> 01:35:50,008
Fuck!
1913
01:35:50,008 --> 01:35:51,239
Fuck!
1914
01:35:51,239 --> 01:35:54,266
(Evan gasping)
1915
01:35:54,266 --> 01:35:56,590
(screaming)
1916
01:35:56,590 --> 01:35:58,757
(gasping)
1917
01:36:03,180 --> 01:36:05,272
- Oh my God! Oh my God!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
1918
01:36:05,272 --> 01:36:06,894
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
1919
01:36:06,894 --> 01:36:07,727
Oh my God!
1920
01:36:24,224 --> 01:36:25,510
Just...
1921
01:36:25,510 --> 01:36:26,714
Just let me have a look at it.
1922
01:36:26,714 --> 01:36:28,030
- No!
1923
01:36:28,030 --> 01:36:31,493
None of you bitches touches me!
1924
01:36:34,198 --> 01:36:35,031
- Evan?
1925
01:36:36,970 --> 01:36:38,370
Are you okay?
1926
01:36:38,370 --> 01:36:39,203
- Me?
1927
01:36:39,203 --> 01:36:40,783
I'm fit as fucking fiddle.
1928
01:36:42,120 --> 01:36:43,400
- [Bridget] You have a knife in your back.
1929
01:36:43,400 --> 01:36:44,663
- Yeah, I gathered.
1930
01:36:48,530 --> 01:36:50,060
- Dov, call an ambulance.
1931
01:36:50,060 --> 01:36:51,610
- Where's the phone?
1932
01:36:51,610 --> 01:36:52,875
- Should we pull it out?
1933
01:36:52,875 --> 01:36:53,708
- No!
1934
01:36:58,302 --> 01:37:01,219
- [Bridget] What have I done, Evan?
1935
01:37:09,320 --> 01:37:10,263
- Oh, shit.
1936
01:37:14,190 --> 01:37:16,940
(Bridget crying)
1937
01:37:19,834 --> 01:37:22,251
(whimpering)
1938
01:37:26,003 --> 01:37:28,253
(groaning)
1939
01:37:47,350 --> 01:37:48,950
That's better.
1940
01:37:48,950 --> 01:37:49,890
What's wrong?
1941
01:37:49,890 --> 01:37:52,140
Did you run out of money?
1942
01:37:52,140 --> 01:37:52,973
We can help you.
1943
01:37:54,019 --> 01:37:55,670
- It's not that.
1944
01:37:55,670 --> 01:37:56,633
It's my dad.
1945
01:37:58,110 --> 01:37:58,943
- Did he die?
1946
01:37:58,943 --> 01:37:59,776
I'm so sorry.
1947
01:37:59,776 --> 01:38:01,483
- No, that fucker's alive and well.
1948
01:38:02,540 --> 01:38:03,790
He was never really sick.
1949
01:38:04,850 --> 01:38:06,383
I made the whole thing up.
1950
01:38:07,810 --> 01:38:09,010
- Why would you do that?
1951
01:38:09,932 --> 01:38:11,773
- He cut me out of his life.
1952
01:38:12,850 --> 01:38:14,820
Not just financially.
1953
01:38:14,820 --> 01:38:15,653
Completely.
1954
01:38:18,700 --> 01:38:19,533
- What happened?
1955
01:38:20,520 --> 01:38:22,660
- His daughter is a lesbian.
1956
01:38:22,660 --> 01:38:26,313
I fuck women and that is
enough to make him hate me.
1957
01:38:27,320 --> 01:38:28,563
He disposed of me.
1958
01:38:31,210 --> 01:38:32,043
He's not dead.
1959
01:38:33,040 --> 01:38:34,240
I'm the one that's dead.
1960
01:38:35,090 --> 01:38:36,690
Dead to him.
1961
01:38:36,690 --> 01:38:38,706
- Honey, you could've told us.
1962
01:38:38,706 --> 01:38:39,906
- I was too embarrassed.
1963
01:38:42,060 --> 01:38:43,210
So I said he was dying.
1964
01:38:44,850 --> 01:38:46,143
It seemed easier.
1965
01:38:48,520 --> 01:38:51,230
I was just so ashamed
1966
01:38:53,070 --> 01:38:56,060
and now I'm angry at myself
1967
01:38:56,060 --> 01:38:58,803
for feeling ashamed.
1968
01:39:00,440 --> 01:39:01,290
It should be him.
1969
01:39:03,670 --> 01:39:05,690
He should be the one who hates himself.
1970
01:39:05,690 --> 01:39:06,523
Not me.
1971
01:39:06,523 --> 01:39:07,356
- You know,
1972
01:39:08,670 --> 01:39:10,270
when we're growing up,
1973
01:39:10,270 --> 01:39:11,410
when we're kids,
1974
01:39:11,410 --> 01:39:13,360
we know there's something
different about us.
1975
01:39:13,360 --> 01:39:16,233
- Yeah, I knew I liked
girls from the age of five.
1976
01:39:17,083 --> 01:39:18,350
I've always been ahead of the curve.
1977
01:39:18,350 --> 01:39:19,550
- When we know there's something different
1978
01:39:19,550 --> 01:39:21,330
and we can't put words to it.
1979
01:39:21,330 --> 01:39:23,453
That turns into self-loathing.
1980
01:39:25,150 --> 01:39:26,400
Then we get a little older
1981
01:39:26,400 --> 01:39:28,710
and we realize that society doesn't accept
1982
01:39:28,710 --> 01:39:30,470
the parts of us that make us different
1983
01:39:30,470 --> 01:39:34,423
and that self-loathing turns in to shame.
1984
01:39:36,110 --> 01:39:37,370
- I'm stronger than that.
1985
01:39:37,370 --> 01:39:38,530
- I know you are.
1986
01:39:38,530 --> 01:39:40,030
You're a tough cookie but
1987
01:39:40,030 --> 01:39:42,790
you can't fix what your
family and society did to you.
1988
01:39:42,790 --> 01:39:44,783
You can't un-fuck up a kid.
1989
01:39:47,070 --> 01:39:50,039
- I'm not getting five
thousand a month anymore.
1990
01:39:50,039 --> 01:39:52,170
I had some money saved up.
1991
01:39:52,170 --> 01:39:54,563
I spent it all.
1992
01:39:55,480 --> 01:39:58,103
I just wanted the hurt to go away.
1993
01:40:00,190 --> 01:40:01,093
Who does that?
1994
01:40:02,030 --> 01:40:04,270
What kind of man turns
his back on his daughter
1995
01:40:04,270 --> 01:40:05,490
just because she's gay?
1996
01:40:05,490 --> 01:40:07,370
- You don't need him.
1997
01:40:07,370 --> 01:40:10,100
Okay, you have me and those
three losers downstairs
1998
01:40:10,100 --> 01:40:12,600
who would do anything for you.
1999
01:40:12,600 --> 01:40:15,930
Ryan, the four of us would die for you.
2000
01:40:15,930 --> 01:40:18,270
Fuck your dad, he's not your dad.
2001
01:40:18,270 --> 01:40:19,440
Evan's your dad.
2002
01:40:19,440 --> 01:40:23,130
And us, we're the rest
of your fucked up family.
2003
01:40:23,130 --> 01:40:25,863
- I'm just so confused.
2004
01:40:27,330 --> 01:40:28,713
Everything hurts.
2005
01:40:30,210 --> 01:40:31,043
I'm so
2006
01:40:32,670 --> 01:40:33,503
totally
2007
01:40:34,640 --> 01:40:35,473
lost.
2008
01:40:36,350 --> 01:40:37,760
- Well,
2009
01:40:37,760 --> 01:40:38,860
with those words,
2010
01:40:38,860 --> 01:40:41,760
I officially pronounce you
2011
01:40:41,760 --> 01:40:42,803
a grownup.
2012
01:40:47,770 --> 01:40:50,190
- Did you know I always
wanted to make you coffee?
2013
01:40:50,190 --> 01:40:51,790
The way you do it with the foam.
2014
01:40:52,770 --> 01:40:54,580
I was gonna surprise you
once, you were at the museum,
2015
01:40:54,580 --> 01:40:57,080
you were gonna come home and find it.
2016
01:40:57,080 --> 01:40:58,803
I tried but I failed.
2017
01:40:59,812 --> 01:41:02,128
I threw it all out and never told you.
2018
01:41:02,128 --> 01:41:03,553
- I called an ambulance.
2019
01:41:06,458 --> 01:41:07,800
Oh, shit.
2020
01:41:07,800 --> 01:41:10,000
- I don't like doing
things I'm not good at.
2021
01:41:12,269 --> 01:41:13,620
- Evan,
2022
01:41:13,620 --> 01:41:16,983
this is for the pain.
2023
01:41:21,949 --> 01:41:23,099
Okay.
2024
01:41:23,099 --> 01:41:26,510
- Fuck, this jacket is vintage.
2025
01:41:26,510 --> 01:41:28,410
- [Trista] What the fuck happened here?
2026
01:41:28,410 --> 01:41:30,250
- [Evan] Bridget stabbed me in the back.
2027
01:41:30,250 --> 01:41:31,590
- I know, sweetie.
2028
01:41:31,590 --> 01:41:33,763
- No, this time,
2029
01:41:34,870 --> 01:41:36,380
I really did stab her.
2030
01:41:36,380 --> 01:41:38,360
(laughing)
2031
01:41:38,360 --> 01:41:39,193
- Jesus.
2032
01:41:39,193 --> 01:41:40,710
- Dov called an ambulance.
2033
01:41:40,710 --> 01:41:42,140
It should be here soon.
2034
01:41:43,630 --> 01:41:45,640
- So, Ryan tries to commit suicide
2035
01:41:45,640 --> 01:41:47,280
and you three bitches find a way
2036
01:41:47,280 --> 01:41:48,923
to make it all about yourselves.
2037
01:41:50,038 --> 01:41:52,567
- Is that one of
Bridget's ancient daggers?
2038
01:41:52,567 --> 01:41:53,840
- I believe so.
2039
01:41:53,840 --> 01:41:56,050
- If that thing is 500 years old,
2040
01:41:56,050 --> 01:41:59,290
you're gonna have one
hell of an infection.
2041
01:41:59,290 --> 01:42:01,053
- Do not forget your dying king.
2042
01:42:02,030 --> 01:42:03,160
- Is she gonna die?
2043
01:42:03,160 --> 01:42:05,760
- No, baby, but I'm about
to pass out from the pain.
2044
01:42:06,830 --> 01:42:08,283
- Goodnight, sweet prince.
2045
01:42:09,756 --> 01:42:12,863
May flights of angels
sing thee to thy rest.
2046
01:42:13,840 --> 01:42:16,768
- So what have I learned
after all this time?
2047
01:42:16,768 --> 01:42:19,520
After all the fucking and partying.
2048
01:42:19,520 --> 01:42:22,272
Lying to friends, lovers, myself.
2049
01:42:22,272 --> 01:42:25,669
Playing this sick game in this sick world,
2050
01:42:25,669 --> 01:42:29,413
filled with liars and cheaters
and depraved miscreants.
2051
01:42:31,670 --> 01:42:33,720
I'll tell you what I've learned.
2052
01:42:33,720 --> 01:42:36,390
One thing, and one thing only...
2053
01:42:37,790 --> 01:42:40,973
I fucking love being gay!
2054
01:42:43,840 --> 01:42:46,670
- Hey, Evan, are you still there?
2055
01:42:46,670 --> 01:42:48,150
- Yeah.
2056
01:42:48,150 --> 01:42:50,228
- I thought you were about
to pass out right then.
2057
01:42:50,228 --> 01:42:52,425
- Yeah, that would've been
the perfect place to do it.
2058
01:42:52,425 --> 01:42:55,283
- Yeah, yeah, right at
the end of that speech.
2059
01:42:56,141 --> 01:42:57,760
(groaning)
2060
01:42:57,760 --> 01:42:59,203
- [Trista] Now she's passed out.
2061
01:43:00,220 --> 01:43:01,663
- It's true what they say.
2062
01:43:02,560 --> 01:43:05,053
Timing really is everything.
2063
01:43:06,150 --> 01:43:07,683
- Oh, the ambulance is here.
2064
01:43:08,960 --> 01:43:10,720
- Yay.
2065
01:43:10,720 --> 01:43:11,623
Evan won't die.
2066
01:43:13,420 --> 01:43:15,980
Can I ride with her to the hospital?
2067
01:43:15,980 --> 01:43:18,313
I should probably get my stomach pumped.
2068
01:43:19,580 --> 01:43:20,521
Can I take out the knife now?
2069
01:43:20,521 --> 01:43:21,438
- [All] No!
2070
01:43:28,970 --> 01:43:30,130
- [Bridget] Where's your coffee machine?
2071
01:43:30,130 --> 01:43:32,863
Does anyone want some coffee?
2072
01:43:47,466 --> 01:43:48,860
- Bye, losers.
2073
01:43:48,860 --> 01:43:50,063
Good to see you.
2074
01:43:54,406 --> 01:43:57,770
(faint beat music)
2075
01:43:57,770 --> 01:43:59,540
- How's the shoulder?
2076
01:43:59,540 --> 01:44:00,500
Still sore?
2077
01:44:00,500 --> 01:44:01,970
- Nothing that copious amounts of alcohol
2078
01:44:01,970 --> 01:44:03,120
and Vicodin can't cure.
2079
01:44:05,210 --> 01:44:06,043
- Same old Evan.
2080
01:44:07,458 --> 01:44:08,953
- I quit my father's campaign.
2081
01:44:11,360 --> 01:44:12,860
- When were you gonna tell me?
2082
01:44:13,730 --> 01:44:16,580
- When I finally mustered
the ability to say
2083
01:44:18,740 --> 01:44:19,633
you were right.
2084
01:44:22,720 --> 01:44:23,553
You remember when I told you
2085
01:44:23,553 --> 01:44:26,607
about not liking not being good at things
2086
01:44:26,607 --> 01:44:28,257
like making coffee and saying I'm sorry?
2087
01:44:31,383 --> 01:44:35,466
But as for the coffee, I
came up with a solution.
2088
01:44:36,990 --> 01:44:38,612
Instant coffee.
2089
01:44:38,612 --> 01:44:41,695
(muffled beat music)
2090
01:44:51,934 --> 01:44:52,767
Bridget,
2091
01:44:56,621 --> 01:44:57,454
I'm sorry.
2092
01:45:13,211 --> 01:45:14,044
- Evan,
2093
01:45:18,013 --> 01:45:19,346
this is oatmeal.
2094
01:45:21,333 --> 01:45:22,166
- What?
2095
01:45:23,287 --> 01:45:24,986
(giggling)
2096
01:45:24,986 --> 01:45:26,833
- You made me oatmeal.
2097
01:45:27,826 --> 01:45:29,729
This is instant oatmeal.
2098
01:45:29,729 --> 01:45:31,979
(laughing)
2099
01:45:48,061 --> 01:45:50,478
- I'll never stop loving you.
2100
01:45:52,978 --> 01:45:53,811
- Ditto.
2101
01:45:58,840 --> 01:46:02,523
- Things are looking up for me.
2102
01:46:03,960 --> 01:46:06,860
I got promoted from writing
engagement announcements
2103
01:46:07,741 --> 01:46:08,841
to writing obituaries.
2104
01:46:09,870 --> 01:46:11,710
- That's super.
2105
01:46:11,710 --> 01:46:13,470
That's like the best news ever.
2106
01:46:13,470 --> 01:46:14,303
So great.
2107
01:46:16,440 --> 01:46:19,690
So, tell me more about
the newspaper, please.
2108
01:46:19,690 --> 01:46:20,742
Where's Trista?
2109
01:46:20,742 --> 01:46:23,340
- [Bridget] Dov, come over here.
2110
01:46:23,340 --> 01:46:25,750
- Oh my God, this conversation has to end.
2111
01:46:25,750 --> 01:46:27,856
So much suck.
2112
01:46:27,856 --> 01:46:30,939
(muffled beat music)
2113
01:46:34,490 --> 01:46:36,270
- So, I couldn't help but notice
2114
01:46:36,270 --> 01:46:39,423
you to have been avoiding
each other all night.
2115
01:46:41,180 --> 01:46:42,377
My parents pulled the same act for years.
2116
01:46:42,377 --> 01:46:45,910
- You're taking a position
at a museum in Romania.
2117
01:46:45,910 --> 01:46:47,408
Seems like you're the
one going to extremes
2118
01:46:47,408 --> 01:46:48,908
to avoid conflict.
2119
01:46:51,355 --> 01:46:52,188
- True.
2120
01:46:54,090 --> 01:46:56,183
But I am confused.
2121
01:46:57,500 --> 01:46:58,583
I love you both.
2122
01:47:02,981 --> 01:47:04,331
But I need time for myself.
2123
01:47:06,440 --> 01:47:07,273
Cliche?
2124
01:47:08,894 --> 01:47:09,727
- A little.
2125
01:47:14,790 --> 01:47:16,314
- So,
2126
01:47:16,314 --> 01:47:17,147
friends?
2127
01:47:18,588 --> 01:47:19,421
- Eh.
2128
01:47:20,414 --> 01:47:21,397
- [Dov] Okay.
2129
01:47:21,397 --> 01:47:22,230
- Fine.
2130
01:47:22,230 --> 01:47:23,813
- [Trista] Bridget?
2131
01:47:29,292 --> 01:47:30,375
- Crazy fuck!
2132
01:47:31,403 --> 01:47:33,315
- Republican bitch!
2133
01:47:33,315 --> 01:47:35,413
Jesus Christ.
2134
01:47:41,720 --> 01:47:43,160
- Well, fags, I'd stay
2135
01:47:43,160 --> 01:47:46,099
but I'm afraid you'd
as me to help clean up.
2136
01:47:46,099 --> 01:47:47,040
I'll miss you, kid.
2137
01:47:47,040 --> 01:47:48,410
- No you won't.
2138
01:47:48,410 --> 01:47:51,053
- I'll miss the excessive
drama you bring to my life.
2139
01:47:53,830 --> 01:47:55,800
Next week, Hanukkah party, my place.
2140
01:47:55,800 --> 01:47:58,110
I'm gonna bust out the Bong Mitzvah.
2141
01:47:58,110 --> 01:47:59,007
Goodnight, homos.
2142
01:48:02,080 --> 01:48:04,350
- I should probably be going too.
2143
01:48:04,350 --> 01:48:06,810
Early flight, long flight.
2144
01:48:06,810 --> 01:48:07,720
You coming, Ry?
2145
01:48:07,720 --> 01:48:09,110
- I wish I was coming?
2146
01:48:09,110 --> 01:48:10,350
Get it?
2147
01:48:10,350 --> 01:48:11,630
No?
2148
01:48:11,630 --> 01:48:13,260
No, I'm gonna stay up.
2149
01:48:13,260 --> 01:48:14,310
- I'll take her back.
2150
01:48:15,280 --> 01:48:16,113
- Okay, well,
2151
01:48:16,113 --> 01:48:19,683
I am going to go Benadryl myself to sleep.
2152
01:48:21,000 --> 01:48:21,860
See you in the morning.
2153
01:48:21,860 --> 01:48:22,910
- Bye, babe.
- Yeah.
2154
01:48:24,000 --> 01:48:27,310
- I'll walk you out.
- I'll walk you out.
2155
01:48:27,310 --> 01:48:28,660
- You did try to behead me.
2156
01:48:33,430 --> 01:48:35,720
- I'll see you in half a year.
2157
01:48:35,720 --> 01:48:37,903
- Just try to stay out of trouble.
2158
01:48:38,759 --> 01:48:43,759
- What's the fun in that?
2159
01:49:12,924 --> 01:49:15,300
- I know you have something to say.
2160
01:49:15,300 --> 01:49:16,313
- Cheeky monkey.
2161
01:49:21,123 --> 01:49:23,790
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
2162
01:49:31,740 --> 01:49:34,380
- So not to sound arrogant
or anything, you know,
2163
01:49:34,380 --> 01:49:37,393
but I am gonna be gone for six months.
2164
01:49:38,830 --> 01:49:39,913
What I'm saying is,
2165
01:49:41,080 --> 01:49:42,413
if you meet someone.
2166
01:49:44,260 --> 01:49:45,447
- No, I get it.
2167
01:49:48,150 --> 01:49:49,343
- I packed your poem.
2168
01:49:50,340 --> 01:49:51,290
It's in my carryon.
2169
01:49:54,887 --> 01:49:56,857
"Ice-kissed frost fire."
2170
01:50:00,280 --> 01:50:01,670
I wish I could be like you
2171
01:50:03,152 --> 01:50:04,953
and have the right words.
2172
01:50:09,525 --> 01:50:12,620
- I wish I had the right words right now.
2173
01:50:51,795 --> 01:50:54,628
(engine rumbling)
2174
01:51:02,116 --> 01:51:04,366
(groaning)
2175
01:51:05,886 --> 01:51:07,197
(sighing)
2176
01:51:07,197 --> 01:51:09,270
- So I have this friend
2177
01:51:09,270 --> 01:51:12,030
and she really liked her
best friend's girlfriend
2178
01:51:12,870 --> 01:51:14,760
and she thought she'd be a much better fit
2179
01:51:14,760 --> 01:51:17,530
for her friend's girlfriends
2180
01:51:17,530 --> 01:51:19,170
than her friend
2181
01:51:20,020 --> 01:51:22,870
and so she set into motion
2182
01:51:22,870 --> 01:51:27,320
a series of events that would
lead to them breaking up
2183
01:51:28,695 --> 01:51:32,020
and it took a really long time
2184
01:51:32,020 --> 01:51:36,730
and a lot of really manipulative behavior
2185
01:51:36,730 --> 01:51:39,313
but eventually this girl's plan worked.
2186
01:51:40,430 --> 01:51:41,610
- What happened?
2187
01:51:41,610 --> 01:51:42,526
- What do you mean?
2188
01:51:42,526 --> 01:51:43,610
- What happened?
2189
01:51:43,610 --> 01:51:44,750
- What do you mean?
2190
01:51:44,750 --> 01:51:47,770
- Did your friend end up with
her best friend's girlfriend?
2191
01:51:47,770 --> 01:51:49,060
- I don't know.
2192
01:51:49,060 --> 01:51:50,833
That remains to be seen.
2193
01:51:52,790 --> 01:51:53,623
So,
2194
01:51:55,550 --> 01:51:57,810
what do you think of all that?
2195
01:51:57,810 --> 01:52:00,473
Do you think my friend is a bad person?
2196
01:52:23,430 --> 01:52:24,263
What?
2197
01:52:25,790 --> 01:52:27,141
- Survival of the fittest, right?
2198
01:52:27,141 --> 01:52:29,010
(laughing)
2199
01:52:29,010 --> 01:52:30,670
- Yeah.
2200
01:52:30,670 --> 01:52:31,503
Totally.
2201
01:53:19,745 --> 01:53:21,912
(sighing)
2202
01:53:26,440 --> 01:53:28,620
- Is there someplace you'd rather be?
2203
01:53:28,620 --> 01:53:29,670
- Than here with you?
2204
01:53:31,090 --> 01:53:31,923
Never.
2205
01:53:47,959 --> 01:53:49,626
- Why'd you do that?
2206
01:53:50,666 --> 01:53:53,897
- Because I knew you wouldn't.
2207
01:53:53,897 --> 01:53:56,093
- I imagine you want to
get back at your father.
2208
01:53:58,030 --> 01:54:00,203
I would excel in that capacity.
2209
01:54:19,363 --> 01:54:22,696
(upbeat New Wave music)
2210
01:54:25,429 --> 01:54:27,679
(knocking)
2211
01:54:44,751 --> 01:54:46,250
- Do you love me?
2212
01:54:46,250 --> 01:54:49,515
I know you'll say yes and I'll
take you at your word but I--
2213
01:54:49,515 --> 01:54:51,423
- With every beat of my wasted heart.
2214
01:54:52,823 --> 01:54:55,714
- I see it now, it's true.
2215
01:54:55,714 --> 01:54:56,547
- Yes.
2216
01:54:58,536 --> 01:55:02,840
♪ Our bodies intertwined ♪
2217
01:55:02,840 --> 01:55:05,535
♪ You're doing that thing you do ♪
2218
01:55:05,535 --> 01:55:09,379
♪ Something's on your mind ♪
2219
01:55:09,379 --> 01:55:12,585
♪ Restlessness and worries for ♪
2220
01:55:12,585 --> 01:55:16,020
♪ A future that's unknown ♪
2221
01:55:16,020 --> 01:55:19,532
♪ But I traveled through
both space and time ♪
2222
01:55:19,532 --> 01:55:24,532
♪ To make sure you will never be alone ♪
2223
01:55:26,901 --> 01:55:31,901
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2224
01:55:34,078 --> 01:55:39,078
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2225
01:55:41,117 --> 01:55:46,117
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2226
01:55:48,056 --> 01:55:53,037
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
2227
01:55:53,037 --> 01:55:55,346
♪ We head into the night ♪
2228
01:55:55,346 --> 01:55:59,497
♪ And fade into the streets ♪
2229
01:55:59,497 --> 01:56:02,395
♪ As rain on the city falls ♪
2230
01:56:02,395 --> 01:56:06,228
♪ The taste is bitter sweet ♪
2231
01:56:06,228 --> 01:56:09,473
♪ Restlessness and worries for ♪
2232
01:56:09,473 --> 01:56:12,930
♪ A future far away ♪
2233
01:56:12,930 --> 01:56:16,567
♪ I'm traveling to the unknown ♪
2234
01:56:16,567 --> 01:56:21,567
♪ To make sure you will see another day ♪
2235
01:56:23,691 --> 01:56:28,691
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2236
01:56:30,905 --> 01:56:35,905
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2237
01:56:37,984 --> 01:56:42,984
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2238
01:56:45,274 --> 01:56:49,968
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
2239
01:56:49,968 --> 01:56:52,903
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2240
01:56:52,903 --> 01:56:57,159
♪ Through complication ♪
2241
01:56:57,159 --> 01:56:59,997
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2242
01:56:59,997 --> 01:57:04,283
♪ Through the unknown ♪
2243
01:57:04,283 --> 01:57:07,091
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2244
01:57:07,091 --> 01:57:10,637
♪ Determination ♪
2245
01:57:10,637 --> 01:57:14,018
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2246
01:57:14,018 --> 01:57:19,018
♪ I'll make sure you'll never be alone ♪
2247
01:57:20,750 --> 01:57:25,750
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2248
01:57:27,844 --> 01:57:32,844
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2249
01:57:35,058 --> 01:57:40,058
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2250
01:57:42,106 --> 01:57:46,664
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
2251
01:57:46,664 --> 01:57:49,200
(giggling)
2252
01:57:49,200 --> 01:57:54,196
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
2253
01:57:54,196 --> 01:57:56,415
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2254
01:57:56,415 --> 01:58:01,184
♪ I would brave a thousand years ♪
2255
01:58:01,184 --> 01:58:03,403
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2256
01:58:03,403 --> 01:58:07,561
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
2257
01:58:07,561 --> 01:58:10,564
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2258
01:58:10,564 --> 01:58:15,564
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2259
01:58:50,761 --> 01:58:54,094
(somber New Wave music)
2260
01:59:10,659 --> 01:59:13,326
- I'm laughing already, I can't.
2261
01:59:14,567 --> 01:59:16,380
(laughing)
2262
01:59:16,380 --> 01:59:17,989
Turn around, Mike!
2263
01:59:17,989 --> 01:59:19,905
(laughing)
2264
01:59:19,905 --> 01:59:21,788
- I think but I can see.
2265
01:59:21,788 --> 01:59:25,120
- [Woman] It looks like you're just crazy.
2266
01:59:25,120 --> 01:59:26,690
- Sweet prince
2267
01:59:26,690 --> 01:59:28,050
and flights of angels.
2268
01:59:28,050 --> 01:59:30,300
(laughing)
2269
01:59:31,340 --> 01:59:32,943
- [Woman] Welcome to Girl-Girl Scene.
2270
01:59:34,390 --> 01:59:36,518
- I just want to make
sure I'm holding it right.
2271
01:59:36,518 --> 01:59:38,768
(laughing)
2272
01:59:40,645 --> 01:59:42,895
(coughing)
2273
01:59:43,760 --> 01:59:45,850
- You're up late.
- Thanks.
2274
01:59:45,850 --> 01:59:47,900
- [Trista] My mom's freaking
out about the body slam.
2275
01:59:47,900 --> 01:59:49,250
I know we're being careful.
2276
01:59:51,909 --> 01:59:55,549
♪ There's one thing ♪
2277
01:59:55,549 --> 01:59:59,904
♪ That makes me come alive
when you're by my side ♪
2278
01:59:59,904 --> 02:00:00,737
- Fuck!
2279
02:00:03,224 --> 02:00:08,224
♪ Together with me ♪
2280
02:00:09,431 --> 02:00:11,130
♪ We don't sleep ♪
2281
02:00:11,130 --> 02:00:13,020
♪ I want you to smile ♪
2282
02:00:13,020 --> 02:00:14,438
♪ Shut out all the worries ♪
2283
02:00:14,438 --> 02:00:16,672
♪ Keep away for awhile ♪
2284
02:00:16,672 --> 02:00:19,383
♪ The look you have ♪
2285
02:00:19,383 --> 02:00:21,806
- As long as you literally
don't see my ass.
2286
02:00:21,806 --> 02:00:22,753
My ass is out.
2287
02:00:26,468 --> 02:00:28,332
♪ Make me feel like I'm whole ♪
2288
02:00:28,332 --> 02:00:32,100
♪ Take me back again to
see the look at that crow ♪
2289
02:00:32,100 --> 02:00:34,166
♪ The power of love ♪
2290
02:00:34,166 --> 02:00:35,612
♪ Is the back on the screen ♪
2291
02:00:35,612 --> 02:00:37,847
♪ I will have ♪
2292
02:00:37,847 --> 02:00:41,680
♪ 85 again ♪
2293
02:00:45,548 --> 02:00:46,381
(man laughing)
2294
02:00:46,381 --> 02:00:47,214
- [Evan] What? Let me see.
2295
02:00:47,214 --> 02:00:48,761
- [Man] I was just filming Jerry.
2296
02:00:48,761 --> 02:00:51,011
(mumbling)
2297
02:00:52,605 --> 02:00:54,873
- We got the tools and we got the knowhow.
2298
02:00:55,810 --> 02:00:57,860
- [Man] Okay, what was the next scene?
2299
02:00:57,860 --> 02:00:59,070
- [Bridget] Bedroom.
2300
02:00:59,070 --> 02:00:59,903
Me waking up.
2301
02:00:59,903 --> 02:01:00,817
(laughing)
2302
02:01:00,817 --> 02:01:02,270
- [Ryan] I got it too late.
2303
02:01:02,270 --> 02:01:04,712
Like I couldn't debut it
earlier in a different scene
2304
02:01:04,712 --> 02:01:06,567
but now it's in the movie.
2305
02:01:08,607 --> 02:01:10,857
(laughing)
2306
02:01:12,758 --> 02:01:15,925
(exciting beat music)
2307
02:01:41,643 --> 02:01:43,175
♪ Play the movie ♪
2308
02:01:43,175 --> 02:01:45,104
♪ I want you to smile ♪
2309
02:01:45,104 --> 02:01:48,871
♪ Shut out all the worries,
keep away for awhile. ♪
2310
02:01:48,871 --> 02:01:50,698
♪ The look you had ♪
2311
02:01:50,698 --> 02:01:51,948
- [Man] Action.
2312
02:01:58,220 --> 02:01:59,313
- You're still here?
2313
02:02:01,410 --> 02:02:02,793
It's over.
2314
02:02:04,800 --> 02:02:05,633
Go home?
2315
02:02:12,150 --> 02:02:12,983
Shoo.
147766
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
