Original subtitles

If you want to, I'll change the situation.

Right people, right times at the wrong location.

I've got a good idea.

Just you keep me near. I'll be so good for you. I'll be so good for you. I'm

gonna help you out. Love me like you want me to.

I'll do.

You always show up when the odd work's finished.

Hey, some of us are born for greatness.

The rest are here to shift the heavy stuff.

So, I trust we have no problem with Kermit the Frog? He's no more French

you are.

Oh, Jamie, look at it. Look, it's not by a 500 -nicot, are we?

But it ain't the exact stuff you asked for.

Well, I implicitly stated, did I not? I want you to look.

Chateau for the way.

Kermit said he acquired it before the labels go on, so you can call it

you like.

Archie! Oh, Morris!

What a lovely surprise.

How are you, pal?

This is Jamie, my business associate. This is Maurice, yeah, one of my oldest

mates. We were in the same class at school, we were. You went to school? No,

I went to school.

And I made up excuses as to why that delinquent wasn't there.

Well, I was master in big business even back then. And on that very subject,

I've got your vino paratus, freshly squashed by a French maiden's big toe.

Oh, formidable.

Only the very best for your precious Roxy's wedding.

And our bargain, two grand, you know, plus delivery.

That is marvellous.

Well, let's crack open a sample to celebrate. Hey, come on, let's not spoil

anticipation for the big day, Morris. Now, come on, let me treat you.

Treat you to the finest cellar in South London.

Excuse the disarray, gents. I'm not actually open for a couple more days.

Oh, that is an audacious little bouquet.

It's a death balance of power and elegance.

Yeah, yeah, I'm getting an earthy scent in her, like, you know, like a ripe

fruit.

Well, if I'm not mistaken, I'm getting a sensitive touch of the plums.

Oh, golly. You know your fruit of the vine, don't you, aren't you? One of my

many dalliances. Thank you, Boris.

Almost too many to mention.

Thank you, Petra.

So, how is the lovely Jeff? Jeff?

Don't ask.

He's reached that stage in every woman's life where nothing's a surprise and

everything's a disappointment.

Well, she must be paid here and there just for our honeymoon.

Well, it's bad before, but she's doing my head in with this damn wedding.

It's just a disastrous rant.

Last night, my nephew's band split up over creative differences, so there's no

music. Then the photographer tells me that I gave him the wrong date, so I've

got to find another one. Sharp it! But I can't tell Jess, or she'll hang me up

by the eyelids.

Relax, Gringo. There's no such thing as a crisis.

Only opportunity yet to be ravished.

Now.

I can supply the live music and get you a top -of -the -range snapper for a very

reasonable price.

You'd be saving my life. Including the wine, it's nearly five grand. Let's call

it six. No, I'm only joking. Four.

But that's magnificent.

But it still leaves me with the problem of a fiancée. Yeah, what boy could

possibly follow in the footsteps of his father -in -law, eh? Last time, he stood

her up at the altar.

Stood her up at the altar.

Plus...

Tonight is his stag do, and I know there's no way he's going to get through

unscathed. Well, once again, you're in the right place, you see.

Now, a job of this import, I have got the very man who can mind him.

OK. But listen, the wedding's at 12 o 'clock sharp, and nobody must know

anything about this. Morris, word is my bond. I will have that boy, he's an

upchoose in one piece.

Let's call it five grand all in, yeah?

Plus expenses.

I'll pay you double and you deliver.

Get this straight.

I've got a mind for the bit of you who don't know he's being minded. Like a

guardian angel.

That's enough.

You'll think I'm a bleeding stalker. No, you won't. You will not know of your

very existence, James.

You don't know about this, are you?

Come on, it's money for our rope. All you're doing is protecting him from

himself. And you get a night out in the town, didn't you? But you've got a stag

night. He's supposed to go a bit wild, isn't he? Yeah, well, if you do, just

make sure he comes through without a scratch. Oh, and also, make sure you

beat... The receipt.

I'm charging every penny, all right?

I thought Morris was a mate of yours.

He is, but since we've been kids, he's been rubbing my nose in it.

And anything to be had, he always makes sure he got it first. You know, like,

flash your jobs to flash your girlfriends.

Can I have a little bit of payback, my son?

Be safe.

Hey, hey!

That's a sweetheart!

You ain't got enough of that bloke who does the valentine's kids, have you?

supposed to be good, isn't he? When you say good, I take it you mean cheap.

Well, as long as he can sing the Unchained Melody without a stutter.

I'll take 60.

Oh, by the way, have you got that bottle of Gato Le Fouet? Yes.

Yeah, but it's 30 quid a bottle.

Oh, really? I'm lucky I just need the one, then, innit?

What? The wedding party? What are you planning, a miracle or something? I'm

planning the easiest profit I ever made.

See you later.

See you.

What's up, mate?

What's up?

What's up?

You've a caveat, what?

Yes?

What? Yes, sir.

Oh, my God, he remembered.

Wow, look at you.

You haven't changed one eye, have you? Oh, you've aged pretty well yourself.

Well, because my accessory works wonders, yeah. What are you doing here,

Oh, well, I wasn't planning. I was in the vicinity, so, um...

Why was Morris around here earlier?

Pull over just there mate, just on the side.

See the change yet?

No, just now.

It's coming back to me now, Jess, because, yes, I remember, if I'm not

I had my very first dance with you.

Oh, well, you were pretty hot on your feet yourself, as I remember rightly.

Well, my dearest soon put a stop to all that, amongst other forms of pleasure.

Well, that's marriage for you.

Oh, well, not anymore, actually. See, I'm in the early stages of divorce. It's

best for everyone.

I almost envy you, Archie.

What? Jess, I thought you and Marge, you know, you were like the perfect couple.

Yes, so did I.

But things have been, um...

Pretty stealthy find for a while now.

Sometimes I wonder if I chose the wrong husband.

Yeah, we all make mistakes, don't we?

So, preoccupied with his bloody luxury bathroom shops and his precious

Yeah, she's yours too.

No, no.

Roxy's the best thing that's ever happened to us, but now she's leaving

Everything's going to change, isn't it?

I want Roxy to have the best day of her life.

Well, she will.

I'm sure of it. But I don't trust Maurice.

And that is why I'm asking you, as one of my oldest friends, Archie.

You keep an eye on things tomorrow.

You and I understand each other, don't we?

I promise you, Jess, the wedding of the century.

I mean, Kieran Romeo.

He's a surly git.

You two got a lot in common, then, didn't you?

Yeah. You both hang out a very dodgy geezer.

What's that?

Oh, my God, that's Teddy B.

He's got a very cuddly thing.

No, no, no, that's an ironical moniker. He went to the same school as us, he

did. And he got his dirty dosh from being a very dangerous dude.

Yeah, he's known as the great wiper of the Lungshark family.

Well... I couldn't hear them, but from their ding -dong, I'd say Neil owes him

big time.

Well, you know what this means, don't you? Yeah. We back off completely.

Oh, don't be such a plumb. We just had danger money to the bill, didn't we?

That's all.

This ain't what I signed up for.

Jamie, I made a promise, all right?

A promise that can't be broken.

Then the price has to be right.

All right. I'll raise you a figure of three.

Five. Four. Five.

Okay, five, but this kid needs proper minding, all right? I want you on your

mettle like a... like a tightly coiled spring.

All right.

Relax.

We've got salt in your boxes.

Go on, boys, go.

Go on, mate.

Hey,

Charlie

Cupid, it's Archie Daly.

Shoot that pointer there, right through my heart.

Yeah, sorry, mate. Well, I thought it was funny.

Yeah, how I... Do what?

Oh, Charlie, I'm sorry to hear that, mate.

Come on, listen. You know what women are like. She'll be back tonight begging

for forgiveness.

Oh, really? What, a pilot?

Oh, I'm sorry. Well, she could be anywhere around the world now, couldn't

Yeah. Hey.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Charlie.

Charlie, calm down. Come on, pull yourself together, all right?

Now, listen.

I've got a little something for you. How do you fancy plying your tray down in

the Fuquid singing at a wedding?

Yeah?

Awesome.

Listen to me, okay? Strictly no moving images.

All I need from you are wedding snap.

Yeah. No, these are posh clientele, all right?

I want to try and, you know, recreate the cover of the glossy magazines.

Yes, you know what. Look, hold on one second. Stay there.

Hello? Oh, just hello, sweetheart.

No, everything's good. Nothing to report, darling.

Mm -hmm.

Hey, don't you worry about that. I'll be there before anyone else.

Yeah, even if I've got to kidnap the registrar myself.

Yes, definitely.

All right. Hold on one second, sweetheart.

Awesome. Morris!

Hey!

What's that? No.

This mic is embedded as we speak.

Why are you following me, Phil? Are you one of Teddy B's boys?

I've no idea who you are.

Never mind Teddy.

I think you're lying.

I think you should fling your hook.

That's not a very good idea.

I put you wrong.

Let him go.

Please. No.

You're making a big mistake here.

I'm quaking in my boots.

Not like that. I mean, we're mates, Neil and me.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, right.

Excuse me, officer, for me being so bold to intercede.

Let me digress that indeed.

These boys are just like blood brothers. Dealing with this, aren't you? Not

doing a very good job. You see, he's a bit of a horse player. He's got a hand,

that's all. And my colleague here will be dropping charges post -hated.

He's too late.

But you've got to let him go, he's...

He's getting married in the morning.

Ding dong, the bells ain't gonna chime.

We can pay his bail money.

It's about your wages.

Yeah. I'll do that.

What kind of cabbie are you?

I sorted your bail money. That's all you need to know.

You better tell me exactly what's going on here before I give you another bloody

item. Let's get a few things straight, mate.

Firstly, you did not give me an item. Second, you're on your own now.

But for the record, it's my job to mind you.

Someone wants to make sure you get to your wedding in one piece.

Who? Your loving father -in -law -to -be.

Morrie? She's staying at my place tonight.

Think of me as your babysitter.

Big meal, mate. Give it up.

Yeah, it's all good, mate. It was only picked by 2am. Are you kidding? Yeah. A

few drinks, a few laughs.

No farts, no drugs, not even a sniff of a secret cheese drink. I knew I could

rely on you.

It's all part of the service, ain't it?

Good hand it's to you, ma. I mean, you really do things in style, don't you?

It's the mind of the rocket, I dare add to it.

Do you always wanted to get married underneath Tower Bridge?

I love you.

Wake up, sunshine.

It's your alarm call.

Warning bells, rise and shine.

Ah, there he

is.

Charles Cupid, the man with the gold plate and the tonsils.

This is Morris.

So good of you to step in such short notice, Charles.

So you're the condemned man, are you? No, Charles, this is Morris. No, he's

father of the bride.

Groom, ETA, any minute now.

It was a day just like this when I got married.

Well, let me know when I'm on.

Be at the bar.

He's not seriously going to be... Artistic temperament.

Seriously, why don't you get a load of his careless whispers?

Angelica! Do you know Archie?

No.

Neil's mum. His dad walked out on them when they were kids, so he has not been

invited. Best all around. I can imagine.

Wow, Jess, look at you.

Everything all right? Yeah, all ship -shaped and Bristol fashion.

Ross was late. Where is she?

She's right behind me. She better be.

Not even a kiss on the cheek, never mind a compliment.

I think you look ravishing.

See?

Everything's in the face lift of hand.

Oh, beautiful.

Lovely.

Lovely.

Jamie,

please tell me you're on your way here. Neil's gone AWOL. He's gone what?

AWOL.

You brain took it. You could have lost him again.

I didn't lose him. He'd done a runner.

Listen, we can discuss the semiotics later, but we don't get a penny back

we get the groom back. We could be anywhere.

What? We could be bloody anywhere.

Listen, Jamie, there's no time for excuses, all right? This job is not done

until that kid's got a... Bring on his finger and he's contemplating his

conjugal. Well, too late, aren't we?

Didn't you say the boat had to sail at noon?

Yes. Listen, I know.

But just get here as quick as you can and don't worry about the boat.

I'll sort that out.

He must be stuck in traffic.

Don't worry, honey, he'll be here.

What, like he was last time?

Stop it, Dad. I know his pipe, dear.

You're a snob. Shut up, Maurice. Look, he'd better shift his arse, because this

boat is leaving in five minutes.

Well, I'm not sure about that, actually.

I can't really relax, right?

As they say, the path of true love never runs smooth.

Do something.

Charlie, jog on.

Hey, everybody, nice round of applause for Charles Cupid.

I've just been told by the captain there is a slight hitch in the engine room.

Tell you what, why don't we start the festivities now, yeah?

Yeah, let's crack open some fine bottles of wine. Help yourself, everybody.

Plenty more where that come from.

But very soon, the bride...

And the bridegroom will be making their arrival down the gangplank onto the

ship. So we're going to be making our way down the Thames and we're going to

going past Westminster.

That'll be on that side. And then we'll be coming underneath Tower Bridge and

that's where they'll be exchanging their vows on wedding day.

I'll ask you one more time.

When our two lovers, Roxy and Neil, who's going to be here any minute now,

apparently, are about to take the plunge, metaphysically, just like

in Titanic.

They're all waiting for you.

Well, it's no good I'm not going.

If you're going to dump that girl a second time, the least you can do is

her to wet face.

Well, he's done it again, hasn't he?

It was because of Maurice that I backed out last time.

He saw rocks that didn't have a good nut job.

Can you imagine that?

Santa gave me so good a brain with his stupid bathroom shots.

I said no, he went ballistic.

Now I can't even go on my own.

What's that

supposed to mean?

He's got plenty of money if you need it.

Now, you listen.

And you listen good.

I don't want anything from him.

Look, I love Roxy.

And I do. I mean it. I love her so much.

As a dad, I want nothing to do with it.

And how are you going to run out with that gorgeous girl?

Just because it suits him.

Just remember, marriage is for life.

And not just for Christmas.

There's something wrong, isn't there? That must be our picture or something.

That is not what I'm talking about in the moment.

Jess, trust me, love is a part of the heart.

No, no, don't wait. You are stalling, aren't you?

All right, all right.

Neil's delayed, but he's nothing to worry about, OK?

Do you know where he is?

No, not exactly.

Right, then that's it.

I will not have my daughter humiliated by this waste of any longer.

Boris, you've just got cold feet.

Just give him another chance. It's just a little misunderstanding about last

night, that's all.

What is going on, Boris?

Look, I had Neil follow last night.

I just wanted to make sure he didn't get himself into any trouble. He'll skip

the country again.

You just couldn't leave him alone, could you?

You were to stick your big, bloody booty and ruin everything. I just wanted to

have the back for my daughter. That's what I wanted.

Where's Neil?

Your father's got something to tell you, Roxy.

You're scaring me.

Hey!

Wow, what a beautiful bride

I didn't, chap. Don't you start. You've got no idea.

What? I was the one who stopped the bleeding boat sailing off. Yeah?

Well, Neil says this whole mess is Morris' doing.

Oh, you're going to take the word from a scrappy young hood, are you?

Look, he might not be up to the level of your toss, mate, but I think he's all

right. That was cutting a bit of fine. Oh, please, don't worry. You've got no

idea how the cost of this venture is still rising. Oh, yeah, yeah. We said

grand tops.

How much? Plus expenses.

Morris, look.

This is not about money, my friend.

It's about her.

Your beautiful daughter.

A beautiful wedding that you've wanted for so long.

With beautiful, perfect Roxy. Yes.

I suppose you're right.

That's terrific.

Stupendous. Well done, Artie. Almost makes the whole thing worthwhile.

Did you get away with that?

Oh, you know, it's a death balance of power and elegance.

Yeah. It's like paying me 500 when you're making 10 grand. Oi, oi, oi, oi.

planning to give you the bonus if you come up with the goods. Cash on

Put that away.

Not until they've exchanged marriage amounts and consummated their marriage.

Once they've sorted out and get this ship started, only a tidal wave can stop

us.

Teddy B.

What? You distract him, I'll give Neil out of the way.

Teddy B!

Way too long.

No, long enough, Daley.

Like your school trousers.

I'm in a sunshine.

What are you doing?

Oh, you get up here.

Best days of our lives, eh? I remember flushing your head down the bog. Yeah,

indeed. While forcing you to sing Bohemian Rhapsody, if I rightly recall.

That's right. From start to glorious finish.

Right. Good morning.

Guitar solo.

Yeah. I had to queue round the toilet block for that little entertainment.

Yeah, well, you know.

I could forget those jolly jokes, Teddy, but I'm not one to bear a grudge.

I am.

What are you doing?

Here, here. How do you believe? What?

Look, whatever you are, Amy's here to collect.

But he's only gone and you're staying here till we've got rid of him, all

You don't want to go in here. Now look, it's a private party.

I told you not to come, Dad.

Dad? I told you I'd find out where it was. You're not welcome here. I'm here

support my boy.

It's a big step, getting married.

I just...

I wanted to show you that I care.

You think you can make up for 20 years not being there just like that?

You've got to start somewhere.

Well, maybe I won't go through with it now you're here. No, no, no, that'd be a

big shame.

After all this bother.

She's a lovely little girl.

Please. Son.

I've gone through a lot of bother myself.

Teddy, listen, mate. I might see a little silhouette of a man.

Skirmish?

Let's hope that was not the happening last time. This is the happening age,

isn't it?

Teddy!

Fantastic!

That's great!

Fabulous, you could make it!

Minus 1 ,200.

Well, now, they were in the same class at school, but... I won't call it mine.

Jess!

Jess! Jess!

Do you remember Jess?

How could I not?

Oh, hi, hi.

Really nice to meet you. Would you like some wine or drink, Teddy?

I can't believe you, Mark. You knew Teddy B was nearly dead all along. But

course I did. What's the problem?

Well, why didn't you mention it?

Look, he wasn't invited.

I told you, he's estranged. Well, he's about as estranged as you can bloody

get. What? You're still bothered about that Bohemian Rhapsody thing?

I'm not talking about that, am I?

Archie, he's mellowed. People can change.

Yeah? Yeah.

Well, he's obviously forgotten where he came from, Morris.

What is with the Bohemian Rhapsody?

Never mind.

I know, Miss Martin, that bloke was definitely hiding something.

Yeah, and he needed to chill out before he spontaneously conversed. Listen,

remember, you're minding it. Whatever you do, don't take your minstrels off

Teddy B.

I'll see you next week.

What's the party?

Why don't we concentrate on a happy couple?

Happy couples.

Who else is there going like that? You're going to be swimming with the

Hey. What's up, Jess?

What are you doing with that? Sailing.

It's a little bit of a Morrison's headache.

No, I do, sweetheart.

Something's not right.

Hey.

Come on, I've got everything in hand. Trust me, you've got nothing to worry

about.

Good God.

Couldn't even get decent wine.

Goodbye, my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been...

Angelica, you look lovely.

Awesome.

The

music's

even worse. What was he thinking?

Yeah, but nothing can stop us dancing now, eh?

Oh, you can't be serious.

Yeah, yeah, I'll take your mind off it.

There's no such thing as a crisis, only an opportunity.

Oh, that's what I love about you, Archie. No matter what happens, your

always half full, eh?

Come on.

I dare you.

For old time's sake.

Why the hell not?

Some things are more important than that, Mo.

You came to me for help, remember?

Yes, because I had a problem shifting an investment property.

But I told you it was only a matter of time. Why am I a hedge fund?

Because it's not just me. The credit crunch is crucifying everyone, Teddy.

not affecting my trade.

So I want your cheque in my pocket before this wedding's over.

Well, you'll find out why.

But I thought we were friends.

Don't believe me.

One way or another.

I'm getting my money back today.

I warned you, Moe, not to mix business with fans.

Oh, see, you haven't lost your touch.

No, that's the bottle. That's the shot. Ah,

you little man.

It's all about having the right partner, isn't it?

Yeah. It's all about the choice of song, though, right?

That's right, because I'll get him to sing that jam melody. Oh, no, wait.

Actually, um... If I was to ask you something personal, would you give me a

straight answer?

Yeah, of course.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Don't lie to me, Morris.

You've been acting like a man possessed. I don't know why.

Look, I'm trying to make the best of this. I could do without you yanking my

chain.

Look, if you have any interest at all in saving this marriage, you will stop

talking to me right now.

Look, look for once in your sad, pathetic little life. Just back off.

alone.

You OK?

In 20 years, yeah.

Never talked like that to me before.

Hey.

Come on, Jack. The army of you.

No, that's the artsy.

My marriage is over.

Whoa, Jess, hold on. He's going through a lot.

He's just hit some very choppy waters.

Well, he can go and jump in and brawl like a cat.

Where's Maurice gone? Oh, him and Jetta went around. He always walked off in a

huff, didn't he?

Oh, look, we're casting off. We've got to make sure he's still on the boat.

Find him before Teddy does. See if I can find him.

That's my wife. Back off, Teddy.

Walk away, Litchfield, or I'll shove that spoon then so far up. Back off,

Mum doesn't need you any more than I do.

Look, look, folks, now you're all together, how do you fancy a nice family

Yeah, yeah, no, no, lovely, lovely, lovely.

Dad, get off me!

Oh, Prince, no.

No.

Oh, what have you done?

Oh,

it's wedding,

eh? I just want one more sip of my nectar first.

No, but listen, please listen to me, right? Now, there is another way out of

this, okay?

I've had it with my big lollies, aren't I? No, I totally understand and I

appreciate it. I can hear you crying for help. But please, Morris, okay?

I can help you out, all right? Just give me the wine!

Morris! No! I will not be party to your euthanasia!

Hey, stop!

One more move and the chateau de four gets it!

Nobody is going to stop me.

I was just desperate.

My credit has run dry.

Teddy was my last resort.

But you've got a string roller shop, drive for a car, not to mention a bloody

big house. Yeah, and it's mortgage to the hill.

My shops have gone bankrupt.

My business went bloody up a while back.

I thought it was just a blip, so I borrowed on the strength of it.

The debt just got fatter and fatter, and I couldn't get another loan from the

bank. Get a loan for a wedding like this.

I can't even pay you your five grand.

Where were we?

Hold on, I thought it was ten grand.

I'm a pitiful mess, aren't you?

I can't handle it any longer.

My mind's made up.

Wait!

What about the wedding?

Marcia, I promised Jess.

Jess?

She won't want to know me when she hears I'm penniless.

Oh, what, you think that's all she cares about?

That's all I am, Archie.

People have only ever seen me as a bank balance.

You know, Marcia, when we were kids in school, we used to look up to you.

Yeah, you were up there on a pedestal. We were jealous.

You had the perfect life. You had it all.

You've got no idea how much it costs to keep up that illusion.

No, no. No, I'm not talking about the money.

I'm talking about your perfect wife, perfect family.

Servant rated.

Yeah. Well, like for me, you can only imagine that sort of life. You're going

chuck it away, just like that.

I've devoted my entire life to being a success, and I refuse to be just another

tragic loser.

Oh, excuse me.

Since you put it like that...

Well, go on, then.

Jump. You always like to make the splash.

Sorry? Either that or get with the bleeding cubs, sunshine. Because guess

Getting up in the morning is tough on everyone, but you don't see the rest of

banging on about it. Hold on a minute. No, no, you hold on a minute, Morris.

People like you, oh, you make me sick.

You have it all, and you don't realize it. You just want that little bit more,

don't you? Oh, look, Morris.

We're nearly there.

Hurrah. So I'll tell you what.

Now's your chance, Morris.

Go on, jump.

How dare you?

What should I do, Archie?

Well, at this point, Marsh, you've got no choice.

Except to be bull -tightly honest.

Yeah.

Don't tell your story. We'll sell you out a couple of cars that we can pay

some of it.

Then pay the family car to the hill.

You really think that'll work?

Might now, Morris.

That's all you've got.

What about Jess?

That's all. I'll talk to Jess.

She'll be fine as long as she doesn't find out about your little swim

expedition.

And it seemed to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind.

One more two out of you and I'll blow your bloody candle out.

You look beautiful, Roxas. Stop it, Mum.

Can't just pretend everything's going to be all right.

It will be, darling. Trust me.

Where's my dad?

Ah, well, in the toilet. Tell us where he is. I can't. I mean, I don't...

Look, Archie's gone looking for him, all right?

Look, you know something, Jeremy.

He is my husband, and I want to know what he's up to.

It's Teddy B.

Turns out Morris owes him a fortune.

Thanks.

But hold up, don't do anything stupid. I'm going to sort this out, drop it.

Neil, come back here!

Oh, my God, Maurice, what have you done?

You came here just for the money, didn't you?

You don't understand, son.

Don't call me that.

Right, Neil.

I accept it was a little insensitive of me. At my wedding.

It's a matter of principle. I couldn't help myself.

I actually thought... I actually thought that you came here for me.

I am.

I wanted to make up with you too, son.

I was hoping you'd give me another chance.

He blew it.

It was supposed to be the best day of my life.

I've moved him too far.

I just never gave him a chance. I put him under so much pressure.

Don't, Mum.

Whatever he's done, it's not your fault.

No, it's mine.

didn't you tell me, Morris?

I'm sorry, Jo.

It's not about the money. It never was.

I mean, it was nice while it lasted, yeah, but I just want you back the way

were when we had nothing.

All I care about is you, Dad.

Well, nearly there, mate.

I don't want anything to do with family.

Not Morris's, not mine, not anybody's. I'll see you with that girl.

You want to be with Roxy? I know you do. You don't know anything.

I know you're better than Morris and Teddy put together.

But I think there's a way you can sort this mess out.

That's if you really want to be with Roxy.

Right. Come on. Chins up, chest out.

They believe we've got a window to go to, eh?

Yeah.

It's a firing squad. No, it's a business proposition.

What kind?

Family business.

That's here it is. Back off on Morrissey's debt or you'll never see me

Now, hold on a second, sir. And he'll pay you back when it suits him.

And you've got to promise me that this stops, and it's stopped right now.

Or you'll never see me.

Are you blanking?

We're going to have a baby.

That's fantastic.

You've just got to promise me.

I won't promise, son.

Are we okay? Yeah, I'm alright.

Go on. You look like you need it.

Archie, thank you for everything.

Well, you're welcome.

Hey.

You saved my life, mate.

Mate? That's what friends are for.

And?

I didn't even pay the bill.

You're a lucky man, Warren.

I know.

Please don't forget it, mate.

Oh, Jamie.

It's the hardest 10 grand I've ever earned in my life.

I think we've burnt the proper drink.

Oh, Jamie!

Oh, good on you, Petchinger!

What a love it that we've just had!

Oh, David, we're proud of you, sweetheart. Me thinks it's time for a

teacher. So, did you catch the bride's bouquet, then? We're having a laugh,

aren't you? If I'd have called out, it would have been straight in the tent.

Weddings are good for one thing, and that is, drop it.

What's going on?

What are the possible reasons we've been crossed to go for that one, though,

Jay? No, exactly.

As Charles Dickens once said, all's well that bodes well.

That should just right cover it.

What's he got him in there for?

Cover for what?

Our legal bills today.

Divorce is an expensive business, Archie.

Yours, more than most.

Proof? If proof were needed, ladies and gentlemen, that marriage is really bad

for you. This is a party, gents. Let's have a little less soul -searching and a

bit more singing.

Don't worry.

Archie's just building up to his bow in the end. Oh, no.

Is this the real life?

Or just a fantasy?

Caught in a landslide. Everybody!

No, it's Game of Reality.