Original subtitles

Thank you.

Cheer up, Dave.

It's a happy occasion.

I just feel a bit down to dump, Arthur.

Must have had a bit of a wrong thought or something.

I like it a bit. We don't want Bernie and his mates to catch him.

Clowny, clown.

Oh, you should see a doctor.

I am a doctor.

I know. It was a joke. Something medicinal.

Something medicinal for Dr.

Key. Have a scotch, please.

Hello, Brian.

You got it, then?

Yeah.

We got it, and then... A lot of work, though, Ray.

Moving.

Heather?

No, love.

Do you fancy a cup of tea? I'll get it.

What's the matter?

He's been like that now for three days.

He just sits there or in here or on the stairs.

I can't get anything out of him. I've never seen him like this before.

He just sits there.

All still.

Staring.

Like I'm at one of those Swedish films.

Eh?

He says he's depressed.

I tried to get him to talk about it, but he says it just makes things worse.

He says he can't talk about it.

Maybe it's something I've said.

I don't know.

Now I'm starting to get depressed.

You're not depressed.

What's Brian got to be depressed about, eh?

The flower shop's all right, isn't it?

Oh, yeah.

He did 17 funerals last week, so that cheered him up.

But he's not been into the shop since Saturday.

And you know how much he loves his flowers.

This isn't like Brian.

Like this. He's always so... well, normal.

He's not in any trouble, is he? I mean, he doesn't owe someone anything like

that. Ray, he sells flowers.

Yeah, and Arthur sells cars.

You just don't wake up in the morning and get depressed, do you? There must be

something caused it.

He won't talk to me about it, or your mother.

That's why I called you.

I love Brian, and I don't want to see him like this.

I'd like to congratulate Bernie on his modest win.

I know from experience that getting a click on a spot -the -ball competition

takes a great deal of skill.

Especially when it's a cricket ball.

I thought I was receiving it. No, no, no. This is the Wilsdon Echo check for

Bernie. You're here to receive my check for your hospital.

Patience, Dr Keane. You must have patience.

I've got 7 ,500 patients, Mr Daly.

22 of them are expecting to see me before lunch. It was another joke.

I'd like to thank Bernie for seeing his way to being persuaded by me, along with

other local caring businessmen, to donate 15 % of his gain for the new

at the Reid Hospital.

10 % including your overhead.

That's right, Bernie, 10 % including overhead. But not the props. With the

props, it's 15%. Props? What props? This lovely check.

Well, off you go, Bernie. Come on, Dave, let's have the other one.

Right, here we are.

Here, Doc.

Could you give me an MOT before you go?

What's wrong?

I don't know, maybe it's the day of the week or perhaps I've just got a bone in

my leg, but I feel rough.

And now I'd like to present my cheque to Dr Keane, who has kindly come along

from the hospital to accept it.

Try giving it a bit more pep, love.

You're saving lives, remember?

And Arthur, it's a happy moment, but it's lacking in the seriousness of the

cause.

Right, that's it.

Right, the doubles are on Bernie.

At the hour prices.

Right,

send me around half a dozen with gold leafs around.

What a cost.

Look, you think yourself lucky I'm not billing you. I've just given your sheet

an exclusive.

What about the real one?

What do you mean, real one? That's cardboard.

Perfectly legal tender.

Unfortunately, I don't have my six -foot wallet with me today.

Perhaps I can fix you up with one.

Dave, I see Ray coming just now. Yeah, he's over there.

Yeah, he's got Brian with him. Yeah, and what's Brian got? Is he wearing a

quilt? Don't we have a dress code in here, Dave?

Dave, get a grip on yourself. Put some music on.

Bernie and his mates might think it's Saturday night.

Not Saturday.

He doesn't want to go back to work quickly, does he? He wants to stay here

celebrate his winnings. Right over.

What's the matter with Brian?

He's usually a bit perkier.

Not a lot, I agree, but a bit.

Usually moves around.

Get him a drink.

He won't have one, Arthur. He retains alcohol as a depressant.

Do you know how the other give him a hard time?

He's just a bit down, that's all.

He's not been trying to get him out of it.

The first thing you want to get him out of is that tent.

Arthur, it looks like a courgette.

Look at me, aren't the other. That's just about how he's been feeling.

Guess he's back for business.

I was on top just now, Ray. I was having a good day. Not a great day, but a good

day. Now it's all gone.

I'll take it on for God's sake.

He doesn't want to come back ever.

I can't force him to, can I?

Look, he's fine.

I promise. In fact, we've had a few laughs.

Well, a couple, yeah.

All right. We nearly had a chat at about 3 .30, but... Look, don't worry.

I'll look after him, I promise.

Yeah? Well, you have a good night's sleep and I'll call you tomorrow.

OK, bye.

Any chance of a glass of water, Ray?

Yeah. All right.

Come on, Harper.

Time to go home.

All ready.

What is the matter with you, Arthur?

You don't understand, Dave. I'm worried about Brian.

I've got the tomato sauce for you.

It's a bit late in the meal, isn't it? What are you going to do, eat a plate?

It doesn't affect your appetite, then.

I always eat more when I'm like this.

Hey, guys.

Who?

You coming out?

We're going out.

What for?

The Fount of Knowledge.

That's a reference book. You have to read it here. I'll bring it back later.

I'd like to buy this car, please.

It is a bargain.

Then I'll buy it.

I don't know anything about cars, so I'm completely in your hands, really.

Sorry? I'll buy it.

I beg your pardon?

Here's a hundred pounds, and I'll pick it up tomorrow.

But I only got it yesterday.

I haven't had it priced up yet.

I'm sure it'll be a very fair price.

Fair price?

I like blue.

Well, let's say three and a half, then. That sounds like a very fair price to

me.

Uh, excuse me, Mr, um, Keyes.

Henry Keyes. Mr Keyes, although this set of wheels is a bargain, it's a little

bit on the juicy side.

So, uh, let's say three.

You can't say fairer than that, can you?

Off you go, Henry, before I change my mind.

Hey.

How is he? He's about the same. I took him to see his GP.

And? He seemed to lighten up a bit when he saw him.

I got the impression the doctor didn't think he was depressed enough.

Depressed enough for what?

Referral to the local hospital.

That's what I'm going to need soon. He's having a depressing effect on my

income. He's already emptied the Winchester quicker than Dave's lasagna.

And I've just given away a monkey.

You what? I gave it away.

How depressed do you have to be to get into one of these places?

I don't know, Arthur.

Doctor said he was just a bit down, that's all. How do you take that?

In fact, the doctor said he wasn't depressed enough.

He got depressed again.

Here, but according to this... What's that?

Bump a book of depression? According to this book, that's what they do see. One

minute they're up, next minute they're down. Look, Ray, it is true I hate

a crust, but you've got to do something with him. He's getting right up my nose.

Yeah, and I know why.

Oh? Yeah, I've sussed you a little secret, Arthur.

You can't operate with honest people.

Fortunately, the punters I deal with take care of that end of things. No, no,

no, it says here that, um... Yeah?

Well, it says a lot of things, but this book can tell us what's wrong with him.

Look, we've got to get on, Ray.

Look, if you don't do something with him, I'm going to be broke by the

So get your nose out of that book or you'll be scratching for work.

People pay up to 75 guineas an hour to be told this stuff.

How much?

Now, we were talking about your childhood.

No, we weren't. You were talking about yours.

I was sharing, trying to get you to open up.

Why can't I just sit on a chair or a stool over there? Because you've got to

relax, Brian. I've got to get you to open up so you can talk about it.

Nothing happened.

I had a very happy childhood.

Ah. You're obviously into denial.

Oh.

Look, it makes me very sad to see you like this.

Which is why I invited you in, against all my better instincts.

You only invited me in because you saw that couple coming.

Yeah, because when they saw you, they were going to go away.

Losing money makes me even sadder.

Well, what do you think's wrong with me?

I think you are dysfunctional. Am I?

Yeah.

I've staked my reputation on that.

Well, that'll have to wait till our next session.

That'll be 75 guineas.

What?

According to this bloke, Dave, the depressive state is triggered by

forces acting on pre -existing neurosis.

Yeah?

Percy Valaner, he's meant to be a bit of a sufferer.

I think Al called it... Who's Al?

Al Craig.

Answer phone Al, they called him.

Percy's window cleaner.

Why'd they call him that?

I think he used to sell answer phones.

Percy Valaner, is that the geezer that runs the chain of dry cleaners?

It's the very one.

Yeah, Arthur, what was his famous catchphrase?

Let us take you to the dry cleaners. Way ahead of his time.

But what was it they used to call it, though?

Very clever man. Started in mail -order syrups. Did what?

Irishies. Rugs, you know.

Airpieces.

Manic depressive. Yeah. I reckon that Percy suffered a lot with him. High as a

kite one minute, down in a dumpster next.

That's exactly what he says here.

Yeah, well, Percy learnt to live with it. They reckon he makes his money when

he's high and he consolidates when he's low.

So you are saying that any minute now, Brian could change from an irritating

vegetable into some sort of dynamic tycoon?

Well, we'd better keep his strength up. Here, bung him that bacon banjo, Dave.

Go on, off you go.

Cheers, Ray.

I was taking that to Brian, Mr. Rogerson.

He's feeling a bit under the weather.

Who's Brian?

That's Brian.

Well, what's up with him?

No one really knows.

Tell Brian I hope he soon gets better, will you, Dave?

Oh, hang on, Garth. We've just nicked Eric Perry.

What about a drink?

I'm not so sure that I'm up for it now.

I think there was something in that sandwich.

If he'd got angry about it, the sandwich, that would have been fine.

I could have threatened him or something, but he just sat there looking

I think there was definitely something in that sandwich.

I used to look at my dad like that.

Yeah, yeah, this is... Wherever it is, Fowler.

Take it easy on the curves, all right?

Look, if Brian has got the same thing, this maniac depression... Manic, Arthur.

Yeah, if he's got the same as Percy, then this could be Brian's consolidating

phase. Right.

How do you mean?

Well, I mean, he's not always this down, is he? I mean, you've seen him smile

sometimes. I mean, he could be bimolar, like, um, Percy.

I thought Brian was happily married.

No, that's polar, bipolar.

Molar's a thief.

Here.

Here.

Bipolar, an affective disorder in which the sufferer experiences episodes of

both mania. That's a high and depression.

That is Percy. When he was high, he bought the chain of dry cleaners. When

was low, he accepted and consolidated.

Yeah, but what's Brian consolidating? Well, he's already got one shop off the

ground, hasn't he? Perhaps he's planning to open a chain.

No, he's just a florist. He likes flowers. He's not a businessman.

Yeah, they reckon Percy Vallon, he started from a phone box.

Exactly, Dave. You don't necessarily need money to make money. If this is

Brian's consolidating phase, then a high could be just round the corner.

Yeah. Well, he's going to need professional guidance, hasn't he? I wish

give us some, Arthur, because you've lost me. A business manager, an advisor,

someone to console him on his downers.

If Brian is on the way up, all we have to do is be there when he's ready to

off.

Where?

Yeah, it's got to be sail or return.

28 days.

Yeah.

Keep your eye open for any manic ascendancy.

What, Rodney?

Oh, come on, I'm not going to skip the country.

Yeah, and what am I going to do with three gross of turbans?

Yeah, all right.

Ta -ra.

I want to go home.

You heard him.

Yeah, Arthur, I think he means by himself.

Well, that's a good sign.

Means he's coming out of isolation.

Via Rodney's, Conrod Street.

I thought I'd bring some of these back from the shop.

Brighten the place up a bit.

Ray, what's in the box?

What are you doing, Ray?

And where's Brian?

What are you doing here?

Me and Ray are looking after your Brian.

He's a bit down, but several of my specialist medical friends tell me he's

to swing into a high.

Arthur, what are you up to?

What are you talking about? I don't want Brian high. I want him as he was.

As he is.

Those are all these bits of air. And what are they doing here?

Well, it was Arthur's idea.

Brian, love.

I wish you'd tell me what's wrong, Brian.

Hello, Heather.

Hello, Brian.

I thought you could use the extra cash. What, you being short -staffed at the

shop and everything?

What extra cash?

When Brian hits a high.

Mail order syrup, excuse me.

Excuse me, but what are you on about?

Mail order. It worked for Percy Valens.

Brian?

Are you all right, love?

I'm sorry, you know.

I'll cook you some spicy sausage.

That'll cheer you up.

Well, they work once, there's no reason why they shouldn't work again.

The important thing is to get the advance promotion organised.

What advance promotion?

Well, small ads, you know, mail order.

Transform your appearance.

Impress the ladies.

Look years younger wearing an Arthur Daly airpiece.

Yeah, I thought this was meant to be Brian's business.

Yeah, it is.

He can do the before and after picture. Do what?

Well, picture before without the rug and then one with it to show how much

better he looks.

I don't think Brian's much of an advert either way at the moment, Arthur.

Ah, no point there.

I'll get Dave.

I can't see Dave wearing one of these.

Oh, no, you don't have to wear that one. We'll give him a choice.

He might want to go blonde.

But the important thing is to be ready as soon as Brian makes a move.

I want you to monitor him constantly.

Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? I mean, I can't go round there and stay

him and Heather, can I? Why not? Your mum's there most of the time. You could

take it in turns.

Yeah, but Arthur, what exactly am I supposed to be looking for? I don't

Ray. But the minute he takes off to Anorak or says he's looking forward to a

funeral, I want you to get me on the dog.

I'll leave you to do the surveillance while I research the ins and outs of the

valine method.

Can I see Mr Percy Vettel, please?

Who should I say I'd like to see?

Arthur Daly.

The fellow sufferer.

Yeah.

He says he's too busy.

Perhaps you could put it in writing.

When will he not be too busy?

No idea.

I'll wait, then. I hope that's all right.

Mr Daly? Yes.

Very kind of you to wait. Mr Valens will see you now.

Is he up or down?

He's on the fifth floor.

It's very kind of you to see me, Mr Vallance. It's very kind of you to have

waited. It's kinder of you to see me than for me to wait.

I haven't got too long. I've got to be out again in an hour. Please.

Now,

I understand that you're a sufferer.

Things can get very dark. It's a terrible thing to suffer from. But the

is, when you're down there, you feel as though it's never going to end.

But it does.

It always passes.

Well, it's a friend who's suffering, actually.

I'm suffering because he is. You're a carer.

Joy looks after me.

Joy.

What are names I have to live up to?

I don't usually see many people.

When I'm on a high, most of them can't keep up with me.

When I'm down, well, um, some of them beg apology.

I suppose I'm a sort of, um, reclusive.

But I don't walk on toilet paper.

No, no, of course not.

Why would you want to?

How I choose.

That's what happens when you isolate.

It is a brave man who walks backwards into the cave of the snowcat.

Well... How can I help you, friend?

Do you mind if I'm a bit personal?

I mean, I know you've been in a few hospitals.

You've had it.

The manic depression?

Yeah. He seems to go into himself, and I want to help to get him out.

Does he drink?

Well, he doesn't have a drinking problem, if that's what you mean.

No, I mean, most of the time he's been normal, playing with a full deck.

But now his wife has started thinking it's something she said, so I thought

come straight to the horses.

What?

Do you think he's having one over on his wife?

No, no, no, I don't think so.

The thought had crossed my mind.

No, he could be acting up.

How do I tell?

Remember Coldis?

Oh, who could forget it?

Chuck Lancaster and his little sparrow.

No, I mean the television series.

Well, I saw an episode of Coldis where this prisoner was acting batty to get

home on compassionate grounds. Well...

He got home.

But when he got there, he was genuinely batty.

I'm not quite with you.

Well, if your friend has really got it, and believe me, it's not something you

chase after. My heart goes out to him.

But if he's just putting on a performance, depending on how good an

well, he might buy into it hook, line and sinker.

But how do I tell the difference between a performance and a full Monty?

Well, if you've got a few minutes, all I can give you is my experience,

strength and hope.

£2 ,900 and my licence.

Look, I have to be honest with you, but since yesterday, my mechanic has made a

rather indiscreet discovery about this car that could dampen your enthusiasm,

more likely waterlog it.

Rust.

Rust?

According to this, it's perfectly road weather for the next ten months.

Well, I like to feel any car purchased here would last at least one lifetime.

I mean, like this family hatchback here. At exactly the same price.

What kind of family would want that to last a lifetime?

Look, I am legally obliged to point these things out to you. But in the end,

final decision is down to you. I am just an honest trader.

I promised myself a blue car.

This will be fine for what I want.

Have you got the key?

Key? In your hand. Oh, yeah, there we are.

Um, don't go too far.

Only local.

Mr. Daly.

What? You've sold me a bargain.

Bargain.

Bargain. Me selling a bargain.

Brian's fault.

One look at him and I lose the will to angle.

His problem has got to be dealt with.

Yeah, but Arthur, that's what we've been trying to do, isn't it? No, no, no,

chuck all that out.

I've got the full SP from Percy Valens. That man is a genius.

Remember Colditz?

No. Yeah, TV series, German prison castle.

If you couldn't tunnel your way out with a wooden what's -it, you're pretending

to be barmy. Hang on, Arthur, you're losing me.

Percy thinks Brian may be pulling a stroke.

Right, but why would anyone pretend to be depressed, eh?

How should I know?

The point is, either his depression is the genuine article, in which case we

look forward to a nice little earner when he enters the manic phase, or the

things are porky, which Percy suggests may be due to some serious aggravation

Brian's personal, which he's trying to escape from. So what does Percy think we

should do now, eh?

Have a meet with Brian and shut out the genuine nature of his complaint. You'd

better go and find him. What? And cross your fingers that his depression is

kosher. I laid out a ground on those wigs.

Right.

One of yours, Brian?

Yeah.

Heather's doing it.

Normally, she handles the weddings and I do the funerals.

But you're still in your low period.

Oh, yeah.

No sudden feeling of elation at all?

Not really.

Is it because of cold it, Brian?

The flat's not so bad, Arthur.

I'm talking about escape committees, Brian.

Pretense.

Subterfuge.

Pulling the wool.

Because, you see, according to Percy, or that is, according to an eminent

consultant of my acquaintance, you should have entered your up period by

and we should be making a fortune.

Unless... Unless what, Arthur?

Unless your depression is bent.

Bent? Dodgy.

Not up to manufacturer's specification.

Hooky.

You're making it all up.

I'm sorry, Arthur.

We all got out of hand.

How could you, Brian?

I mean, is that the act of a brother -in -law?

I'll shell out good money on the chance of you being a manic depressive.

All the time you're just giving an impression of depression.

Say nothing of the grief you wished on your lovely wife.

And the clientele of Winchester.

I was driven to it, Arthur.

I know. Don't tell me. Yours indoors, Heather.

No, of course not.

Is that Sister Doreen?

Now we move closer. She's always coming round. She hangs around her shop

suggesting things.

I've heard a married woman of 30 years.

No.

I mean things about a business.

Well, they all do that.

Using plastic foam as the base for a wreath.

She was going to get in touch with you about getting a few thousand of them in

at cost.

Which is all right.

But I like doing things the old way.

Well, I don't think it's my line.

One of yours?

Yeah. Nice.

So?

So, one day last week, I just finished a funeral.

I was feeling a bit sad.

I get like that sometimes.

But it don't last long, usually.

I don't take it back to ever.

Doreen's in again.

What did she do?

She'd just come back from the graveyard in King Street, full of ideas.

I like Ray's mum, Arthur.

It's just that sometimes she can be a bit businesslike.

Oh, yeah, that can be very insensitive, Brian. She wanted me to have a word with

the undertaker, see if I couldn't get the conductor.

The what?

He's the bloke that leads the mourners.

Very moving.

She wondered if I couldn't ask him to speed up a bit, walk faster.

Her way of thinking was that in the time saved, I could make some extra money.

I had no idea she'd absorbed so much of the daily philosophy.

I tell you, Arthur, I was so shocked I couldn't speak.

And I got very down having her in and out all the time. And then I noticed she

don't like being around... Depression's too strong a word. She don't like

anything too upsetting.

So I thought, well, if it works, why fight it?

Every time I saw her, I acted up a bit.

I think you mean acted down a bit, don't you?

She stopped coming in.

And by that time, you were well into the part.

I suppose so, yeah.

And now you're out of it?

Yeah.

Arthur, I don't know how to thank you.

Come on.

No. No, no, no. It really isn't me. Dave, it fits you like a glove.

Like a glove, Arthur? It is a glove. Look, it's even got fingers.

Well, purchase a pair.

Are you serving or what?

I'm sorry. It's members only in here, I'm afraid, sir. Oh, I'm sure it is.

I just want a drink at the bar.

It's all right, Dave.

Henry.

Remember me?

Oh, yeah.

Are you all right?

Have a sit down here.

Arthur, Ray's just come in.

Right.

The, um... The car's all right, is it?

Hmm?

You sure you wouldn't rather go back inside?

I shouldn't have been there in the first place.

Drink does my head in.

How's Bourne round here, you know? Oh.

Right here.

It's funny, isn't it?

I can't drink.

And the house where I was born is now a saloon bar.

No, no. It's not a saloon bar, Henry.

It's a saloon club.

But there is an irony there. I agree.

We've met before.

I'd remember you, Henry.

It didn't hit me until just before I drove the car off this morning.

Well, we have.

Must be 25 years ago now.

I was in Q Division, West End.

No, I've never been up to West End.

I arrested you for receiving stolen goods just off Carnaby Street.

Of course, you talked your way out of it.

You were driving a two -toned Zodiac at the time.

Detective Inspector Keyes.

Not now.

Not anymore.

Not for 15 years.

I retired.

Not on medical grounds, either.

That's something else that's funny.

I could have retired, quite legitimately, as it turned out.

On medical grounds.

But I was arrogant enough to believe that the DPP wouldn't prosecute.

Prosecute for what?

Oh, everything.

Everything. I was mixed up in everything.

Truth is, Arthur, I fitted myself up.

It's funny, isn't it?

Half an hour ago I was all right.

And now I'm like this.

I just can't seem to keep a mood going.

What a sad tale.

I'm sorry to be a burden to you, Arthur.

I'm just not very good company at the moment.

I'll snap out of it.

I thought coming back to the old neighbourhood might help.

Emotional roots and all that.

Yeah, it's not all bad, Henry. I mean, you've got a nice blue motor.

Yeah, I like blue.

Blue is the colour of my first quad car.

One of those... Come on.

Here, Arthur.

Yeah, what do you think of Brian working a train?

He spares right back to normal.

Yeah, and Auntie said she was sorry for being a bit off. She wants me to thank

her. Think nothing of it. It's my speciality.

Whatever Brian didn't have, I think he's got it.

And he's never even met your mother.

Who? I've got to make a phone call. Bring him in, will you? And, uh... I

used to play with my train set around here.

The CPS officers are not going to prosecute.

Who?

Eric Perry, Governor.

The man we've been investigating the past four months.

You haven't been the same since you had that sandwich.

Hello?

Do you remember a D .I. called Keyes?

Henry Keyes?

You'd have to be one slice short of a loaf to have met him and forget it.

I thought so. I recognised him immediately.

You've seen it?

Detective Inspector Keyes.

I was his doppo.

We were the lads. He was like a father to me.

He's here.

At the Winchester?

Well, that's slum, isn't it?

What's a dopo?

A sycophant.

The Winchester Club is a respectable gentleman's club, Mr. Rogerson.

The point is, he's here at the moment, and he seems to be in a bit of a muddle.

And I thought, being as one of your own, well, ex -own... He asked for me?

By name?

He said you were the only one who ever really understood.

Well, most of the other detectives on his squad merely talked, but Henry and

well, we shared together, even in the rough.

I'll be there in 20 minutes.

Colleague in trouble, Gough? One of the best.

He taught me everything I know.

We used to call him the Governor.

We call everyone the governor, Gov. Yes, yes, yes, but we called him the

governor.

Where is he, Arthur?

Where's the governor?

In the gents. Been in there nearly half an hour.

What's up with him? I don't know. I'm not a doctor, am I?

I thought it might have something to do with the nature of his career. That's

why I called you.

Governor?

Governor?

It's me, Governor.

Roger.

Dickie R.

Richard. You remember me?

Roger Rogerson. I was your old TDC.

Remember the summer of 1973?

Eh?

Remember me now?

No.

Go on, get out.

And you'd better get a GP over here, just in case.

In case of what?

Well, he doesn't bloody remember me, does he? So he's obviously suffering

amnesia, for starters.

What are you doing here daily?

Has a shareholder in his establishment. I obviously have a keen interest in what

goes on in the toilets.

Get him out of here, will you?

Governor?

It's Roger.

You remember me.

Yours was the first squad I was in out of uniform.

You were a second -hand skipper then.

I'm a DS now.

Didn't I fit you up once?

I was on your side, Henry.

Oh, yeah.

Hello, Dickie.

Oh, dear, oh, dear, Governor.

You are in a pickle.

Do you want to talk about it?

I must say, I was surprised by you, Mr Daly.

Your handling of a delicate situation was very impressive.

Well, I have recently become more au fait with the ups and downs of these

tortured souls.

And I do have a flair for caring.

Excuse me, Doctor.

How long do you think he'll be inside?

His is quite a severe case.

He could be in hospital for a long time.

Really?

I think I'll just go and say a last farewell.

He was the governor, Arthur. They crippled him.

They got him on bribery, falsifying evidence, intimidation.

He just got stupid, that's all.

He thought he was untouchable.

Thanks for phoning.

Yeah, let's just keep it between you and me, eh? For his sake.

Henry?

There is just one more thing.

Where are you off to?

Return this. It's making me feel guilty.

Well, don't let it make you too depressed.

You seem cheerful enough, Arthur. Henry and I have come to a compatible

understanding. I've done him the favour of taking the car off his hands.

For how much?

Well, he's not going to need a car in there, is he? He's going to sit out in

street picking up parking fines, not to mention random acts of vandalism, and

weather damage. Arthur, how much? Who knows?

Two and a half?

Five hundred less than he paid for it? Ray, when Henry bought that motor, it

three previous owners. It now has four. A natural decrease in market value. You

and Arthur, doing a deal with a bloke in that condition, that's well out of

order.

Dave, I'm also amused on that question.

Consider, in recent days, I have virtually given away an A -condition

man who once had me under arrest.

I've laid out serious money to Rodney the Rug.

for a consignment of vulgar and worthless toupees, on the off chance

brother -in -law Brian would emulate Percy Valens, the manic millionaire.

On top of that, I've done various acts of kindness for the plod, past and

present, bent and less bent, and at no time did I ask for even a little earner.

That is all very true, Arthur.

But just before the ambulance door closed on that poor unfortunate, I

back the motor and made 500 solvers into the bargain.

That can only mean one thing, Dave.

What's that?

I'm cured.

Cheers.

Thank you.