Original subtitles

oh

That look like your best good riddance wave, Arthur?

Another erudite export from yours truly?

London street names, the Frankfurt.

Old Gunther says they're going down a bomb with a crowd of youth.

Did you slip in the old of that job lot you got from the council?

Job lot? Certainly not.

A random selection, Raymond, from the tub of history that is London.

What do you reckon they do?

Stick them on their walls?

Probably. Because I'm concerned they can do what they like with the ones they've

paid for them.

I kept this back, though.

The Germans tried to get Daly Street during the Blitz and failed. They're not

going to get it now.

Here, don't tell me you've got a taker for that lot.

Hey, look at this.

Oi, oi, come away from that. I've got plans for all that. It's ancient,

It came out of the ark. No, it didn't. And get your history right. Nor did not

run a minicab firm.

This is nearly new gear.

Well, sir, go very recent.

Now, come away. We've got things to do.

So, in short, what I am doing here is building a team. Not just an ordinary

team, anyone could do that. I want the A team, the best. That is what we are

after here.

Nothing less will do.

You see, son, you have your ordinary businessman and your business visionary.

You are in the company of one such.

Now, I'm not ashamed to admit that in my role of business visionary, I gazed out

on our great capital in all its architectural glory, firing one or two

And I said to myself, just what is it this city needs?

The man's a nutter. He's a nutter!

Oh, um... Oh, yes, Barbara, isn't it?

Do sit down, my dear.

Well, Barbara, what I'm looking for is a voice.

Compre?

Well... When my customers ring up, the first thing they hear is a voice. Yes?

First impressions.

In that suspended moment, that voice tells them everything about my business.

Now, Barbara, are you that voice?

Have you ever been to an interview before, Barbara?

Have you had any experience, my dear?

Oh, yeah, a lot.

No, I mean, with telephone exchanges, PBX, all that. Ah, it's always works for

me, Governor. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we don't want any of that while you're on the job.

You're right.

Couldn't you do something about Arthur?

Sorry, Dave. I've never been able to do anything about Arthur.

You know I'm not a snob, but this is a membership club. We do have some

standards.

And Arthur is definitely lower in the tone.

What's your name, my dear?

Uh, Mary Patricia Mercedes O 'Regan. What?

Oh, Trish will do.

Trish. T -R -I -S -H.

So, uh, what's it all about then, Dave?

Well, apparently he's holding staff interviews.

Right, that's it then. I'll see you on Monday. Right.

I'll get off.

I'll see you later.

See you later, love.

Ta -ra.

See you, lad.

Here, Chief, where's the bulk?

Through the back, mate.

Don't write nothing on the walls.

Cheer up, Dave. Things are looking up.

Yeah, Dave was just saying that, weren't you, Dave?

Well, don't hang about, Dave. Wet the glassware. I'm about to propose a toast.

Oh, yeah? What to this time?

See that, Ray?

Cynicism. That is why Dave is on that side of the bar and I'm over here with a

fresher banner.

Cynicism has no place in the repertoire of a successful entrepreneur.

You remember that, Ray, and you'll never be a barman.

Gentlemen, you are privileged to be present at the inception of London's

and brightest courier service.

You heard me, Dave.

Gentlemen, I'll give you a toast.

The Daily Post.

I just wonder where you got the idea from. Where do flashes of genius

I'd like to know, Ray.

I was about to push on and harvest the reddies.

Yeah, but you've roped in some pretty tatty personnel, Arthur. You can see the

ones I've turned down.

Besides, Ray, never judge a book.

That rabbit is the oldest surviving dispatch rider in London. He could go on

mastermind. London streets, chiswick the bow, he'd knock them dead.

Yeah, but there's so many outfits around, Arthur, it's highly competitive.

Have I ever been known to shirt the cut and thrust, eh?

Did Chippendale chicken out because he found the world was full of tables? Not

bit of it.

He carved a niche for himself, a style all his own.

Raymond, the metropolis may be buzzing with dispatch firms, but there will be

only one daily post.

When you put it like that, Arthur History says they've got to believe you.

Raymond, I had a dream.

In this callous world of cowboys and tap merchants, selling a short, cocking it

up, and generally not giving a monkey's, somewhere in all that, the business

community is looking for a loyal carrier. Someone to whom they can

innermost communications.

And who is that loyal carrier?

Daily Post, the very same.

We will be Mercury personified, and probably just as cheap.

You're bearing in mind the relevant inflation.

And anyway, Mercury didn't have overheads, did he?

Brief her. Tell him, brief her. I've told him, ain't I?

Well, tell him, okay? Look, the 840's at a 4127 and round the back through the

avenues. Oh, if I talk into a wall... You don't manage to

knit.

Daily Inter -Europe, Communications Division, Managing Director speaking.

Oh, Gunda.

You've taken receipt of our heritage package, have you?

The street names, Gunda, street names.

Strasenama.

Why, what's wrong with them?

No, no, no, no, they are all bona fide London street names.

No, no, they're not Pall Mall or Carnaby Street.

They can't all say that, can they? I mean, they only minted a few of them.

No, no, no, Gunda, what you have got there is a slice of history rarely

by your average tourist.

Unknown?

There's no such thing as an unknown London street name.

Where is Stanhope Gardens N8? Runs right off Green Lanes. Looks like it's going

to the hospital, but it's a dead end.

Gunter, history happened in these places.

What happened in Willoughby Road N8?

That's where Midge pranged his Suzuki.

Gunter, are you trying to tell me you have never heard of the siege of

Willoughby Road, North 8?

Well, it was in all the papers at the time.

No, no, Gunter, that is not even halfway reasonable.

Gunther, I would not do it... Hello? Gunther?

Churchill was right.

Trying to make a bit of a Neville Chamberlain out of you, is he?

You may be the oldest surviving dispatch rider in London, but this is the inner

sanctum where only the favoured few may tread.

Get my drift, Rabbit?

Right, then.

Hop in.

Good morning to you, sir. I wonder if I could interest you in a very special

service.

Daily what?

After all, Mr Morley, how often are police vehicles out on mundane pursuits

a crime wave splashes all over us regardless?

I mean, take the other day, for instance.

I couldn't help noticing a police transit van stopping outside Sergeant

Belmont's gaff. And what came out the back? A dozen of our uniform finest?

Nah. A flash new gas cooker with a see -through oven and an eye -level grill.

Now, you know me, Mr Morley. I am not one to carp about the misuse of police

resources. But surely there is a role for the private sector here.

You know what, Phil? If they handed out Oscars for pure bloody cheek... You

wouldn't be able to move in Arthur Daly's locker.

I mean, think about it, Mr Morley. How often have you had bikes and cars tied

fairly in paperwork from the nick to some corp or other?

Now, listen, Daly.

If you think I'm going to entrust vital police evidence to you, anyone employed

by you, or anyone who's ever even heard of you, you've got another thing coming.

There's no helping some people.

Greenford, you trash head! What you doing in bloody Guildford?

Oh, he ain't in Guildford. He bloody is!

There you go. That's what the Daily Post has to offer. As you can see, our rates

are very competitive.

You mean the same as everyone else?

Well, we have a flat rate for the West End and City, and then a carefully

out rise for each postal area beyond the centre.

Just like everyone else?

Yeah.

Yeah, and for a few select clients, like yourself, we have a special

introductory offer.

No waiting time charge for the first two months, and a 10 % discount on your

first month's bill.

You're on. We'll give you a try.

Yeah? Why not? We've tried everyone else in London.

It can't be any worse than the app that we're using.

They'll screw up sooner or later.

We won't. You will, but let's not fall out about that now.

Now, most of the work involves these.

Running them across town to photographers or over to the magazines

know. Right.

Well, then, here's your kit to start with.

This has got rates, numbers to call, all of that.

Great.

Best account?

What? No, no, no, we're just really busy.

Yep, a really busy firm, you know, I've... Yeah.

I'd like to start somewhere, so why not start with you?

Hey, she's not in.

Over and over. There's no problem. Miss Cable sent it to you. Yeah, but when?

When she gets back. That's when.

Look, it's being dealt with. Will you now please go away?

Now, you listen to me.

It's all right. It's all right. We know there's just some confusion.

Look, it's being dealt with, all right? Now, will you please go?

I'm not leaving here without her.

Boy, pal, you heard what the lady said.

Go.

Here, we lost Foxy. Eh? I didn't know we had a Foxy. We did, Ed, but we lost him

again. It's your east -west signal, mate.

Control to Foxy!

Come in, you deaf wally!

With a voice like that, it beats me why we need a radio at all.

It's your beans, see?

Now, because we bounced off the eye gate transmitter, they can all pick up your

north -south signal.

This equipment's crap!

But when you get into an east -west street with your eye buildings, forget

Can you hear me?

Oh, yeah, Foxy. You mean I paid out all this money for a signal that won't go

round corners?

What is happening to science in this country?

Hang it back.

What? It's the Warnock brothers.

Ralphie and Keefe.

Fill me in. I'm not conversing.

They run most of the courier firms inside of town, among other things.

What else do they run?

Most of the girls I went to school with.

They're starters.

You must be the legendary Arthur Daly.

Heard so many stories.

Feel like I know you.

Same goes. I feel I know you, Keefe.

Ralphie?

Keefe.

Well.

Well?

Well, come on in, Arthur.

Put the kettle on.

I mean, you didn't recognise him. You go there all the time. Chat shows, photo

sessions, interviews.

Him and June Granger. She's old enough to be his mother.

Yeah. We call him Toy Boy Number Four.

Cheers. His name's Jamie Conway.

He's mad about it. They're really upset.

So what's his problem with you?

Well,

before she became the big Hollywood success, she was a model.

We represented her.

Great body.

Well, apparently, she did a portfolio of nude pictures a few years ago.

And now he's after them. He's paranoid the papers will get hold of them and

tarnish her wonderful image.

Laura said she'd send them back, but then she went off on holiday and forgot

about it.

I don't know where they are.

Well, when you find them... We'll send them straight to June Granger and get

of the maniac toy boy.

Laura's due back tomorrow.

Look, if you need any help in between time... Oh, I've wasted enough of your

time already.

Well, no.

No, you haven't, actually.

But we're not as big as we used to be.

Nowhere near.

Amalgamated two of the biker outfits, let another one drift.

We're not pushing hard on the dispatch front.

We're diversifying.

Not knocking them, mate. They're good little earners. But you need the right

punters.

Media, Arthur.

Media?

Video production, publishing, ad agencies, art studios, photographic

all that sort of thing.

Thanks very much, Keith.

That's very helpful.

No skin off our noses, Arthur.

Any help you need, give us the bell.

Happy to get you started.

In fact, here's a few names to chase up. Oh.

Tell them.

They got the hunt with us for some reason.

Probably looking for a change.

See, that's the nature of the business, Arthur. What, people always looking for

a change?

No, people always getting the hunt with you.

And if you need an extra van urgent, just ring us. We'll have one over here.

And if we need an extra bike or two, we bail you.

You get the job. That way, your partner's always happy and we all got

business.

That's how it works, Arthur.

That's the nature of the business.

Same right across London.

It all looks highly competitive on the surface, but one half owns the other

half, and we all work for each other.

That's the nature of the business.

Hey, you can see why he's a legend.

Oh, thank you.

Whatever you want.

Send me a place.

Look, Ray, is this really necessary?

I only suggested a bit to eat.

Yeah, but look at the places you've suggested. I can't go like this.

It'll only take two minutes.

How about that for an offer?

Come in, come in.

Look, I'll only be a sec.

I just want to get out of this collar and tie. I've been in it all day.

So, this is how today's modern sales rep lives.

Look, I'm not really a sales rep.

Well, now he tells me.

He lures me into his flat, takes off his jacket, and tells me he's not what he

pretended to be.

No, I'm really a minder.

So you can feel quite safe with me.

Nice one.

Bed's clear.

Hang about.

Oh, there you are, Ray.

What is all this about?

How come I've got bike with coming out of my bedroom? This is my flat, Harper.

Of course it is, Ray, of course it is. But for the moment, it's also the Daily

Post overnight security archive.

You what? I was going to take a room above that turkey van place, but the

floats up through the ceiling, something rotten, and all the mail would have got

blotchy. It's only for a short time. You bet it is. Just as soon as I get it out

of here, back in your moment. No, Raymond, Raymond, you're talking about

bread and butter.

We expand and survive. We change and profit. It's the nature of the business,

Raymond. And we offer storage as well. We open up all sorts of new works. It

ain't opening up in my bedroom. I, uh, I think I'll leave you two to slug it

out. Eh?

Sorry, Ray, I'm pushed for time already. I'll grab a quick salad at the veggie.

Bye, Ray.

Ray, say goodbye to the lady.

Here, Susie.

Wait a minute.

OK, OK, Roger, Roger.

Bloody bikers.

Minicabs wasn't like this.

We never had a bloody passenger go missing in a minicab. Yeah, well,

It's a known fact. One in 32, I think it is.

Go on.

Tell Thatcher's uncle he's got a dissatisfied customer.

He claims we picked up but we didn't deliver.

Hang about.

I'll go through these jobs with the gang. You get on the blower and this

ask them straight. Who picked up from Laura Clay Models yesterday?

Otto, you sure you can't do something with them?

I think they'd be a grabber with Austrian youth.

Well, we'll search through.

You'll probably find a Vienna Avenue or a Prague Place or something.

Well, is it? Well, the bottom line is, you sign for them.

Eh? Why not?

Well, Gunther must have signed for them then. It's down to him.

No, no, that is not possible. They cannot still be in transit.

Otto?

Otto?

Ralphie, Keith, Arthur.

Lovely. Magic.

How goes it, Arthur? Sweet as a nut, lads. Building up a very healthy client

base, and your dissatisfies are keeping us very busy.

Got a few more of those for you, Arthur.

Oh. Fizzy outfit, very good pairs.

Shame they got the up with us.

Claim there was a breakage.

A bit exaggerated, really.

Something got a bit dropped.

Forty packaging, of course, but you can't tell them.

Nature of the business.

If she ever gets the ump off, you know which way to pass her.

Good God, it's true.

People are actually trusting daily with their mail.

We're like posting things into a black hole.

The Brothers Warnock.

Same again, Dave, please. Coming up, Ray.

Here, Ray, are you?

I don't want to speak out of turn, but I thought that courier business of

Arthur's was straight.

It is, Dave.

Why? Just that I've heard some ugly whispers concerning Arthur and the

he's keeping these days.

Must be the opposition, Dave. We couldn't be doing better.

Well, the word is Arthur is working for some very iffy people.

You're sure there's nothing dodgy?

Everything's fine. Business couldn't be better.

Now, that business, it wouldn't have nothing to do with the Warnock brothers,

would it?

Oh, yeah.

They should play most of Arthur's client.

You're his minder, Ray.

You're supposed to look after him.

Stick another half in there, Dave.

Busy little outfit.

Look, I don't think you've grasped my drift.

I have an arrangement with the bank.

You take your wages cheques along there and they cash them. I cannot and I will

not write out a cheque saying pay rabbit. I want all your real names.

I don't believe it. I don't believe he said that.

15 years in a dispatch business and that's the first time that anybody's

me for me real name.

Get over there.

A word, Arthur.

Make sure it's the right word. I've been having a terrible morning.

I've been checking this client list. It's iffy. There is nothing wrong with

client base.

I've been handing some very choice punters. We've been run off our feet in

last couple of days.

You'd have noticed if you hadn't been off adding females to your collection.

Hey, Governor, have you seen our security archives?

Have I seen it? I've been trying to live in it.

Arthur, if I'd wanted a gaff like that, I'd have rented out a British Rail

sorting van. All right, Ray, all right. Look, if a business is to be successful,

sacrifices have got to be made.

Why is it always me? And there's a difference between sacrifice and

exploitation. Now, look, don't start getting all political. It's only a few

parcels. Oh, it's more than that.

Smidge's mum's got a bank account. If you put her money in there, I'm sure

be able to sort... Arthur, some of these people don't exist.

It's true, I've been there.

Goldleaf Productions is an empty office.

So are they.

And them.

And they've got bloody box numbers in King's Cross.

So?

Raymond, who are we to judge our paying punters? A man has a divine right to

organise his business how he pleases and from where he pleases.

OK, then.

At the end of the month, where are you going to send the bill?

You'll leave the bill in to me. They owe me, I'll find them. These people come

to me with assurances and guarantees. They're highly recommended.

And they're a lot less trouble than the ones you dug up. Eh? This model madam of

yours, the Laura Kay woman. You'd think she'd never lost a parcel before in her

life.

Arthur, you haven't. Of course we haven't. It's been misfiled in transit.

He'll turn up. I'm optimistic.

Oi, Mr Daly.

Sir again.

Ah, look -see. Now she's getting hysterical. I told you to keep away from

media.

Oh, go on. She's your client.

Go and stall her. Calm her down so we can have another look round.

Oh, go on.

The Warnocks and Daly.

Daly and the Warnocks.

Sounds like a really naff band, doesn't it?

You know, the sort that top the bill, don't it?

Well, I mean, the obvious connection is they're all in the dispatch biz.

We all know dispatch is just a front for the Warnocks.

They're into illegal gambling, ticket touts, God knows what else.

I'd dearly like to know what they're up to.

Where are you going?

Hey, look, I can't pacify you both, but I think I'd better start with you first.

No, Ray, I think I'd better start with her. Where is it?

Tell me where it is.

You again.

Just stay out of it, all right? It's not your business. Just stay right out of

it. You only ask the women all the time, do I? Don't hit him, Ray. No, please.

No violence here. It's all right. He's just a mutant.

I've told him what he was. He's not here. Just please make him go away.

Get out.

Come on, get out.

Look, I know this is none of my business, but... That's right, it isn't.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a little tidying up to do.

Well, if there's anything I can do... Susan, show this young man up, will you?

Mum?

I told you to bone me if that little creep came back. What's she still

her for? I thought she'd given the portfolio.

She tried to. So what's the problem?

The problem, dear Raymond, is that she didn't hand it to him personally. The

problem is that we handed it to the Daily Post, who promptly lost it.

Miss Fylde in transit?

What? It's the nature of the business.

Does that nutter know who had it last?

He does now. We just told him. That means he'd be chasing after Arthur.

Have you seen Arthur?

He's been in today, right?

You can leave a message if you... Talk to me, sir.

You can't do that. That's against the law.

You are tampering with Her Majesty's mail. Shut it. You're a private carrier.

This is Royal Mail in all but name.

Look, this is all story.

What you're looking for is in transit.

Are you depressed?

Is that it?

Someone waved a chip. Look at you. I should be so lucky. Do you know June

Grains? No, not personally.

She is a totally unique person.

She has a life force that is very, very special.

Her indoors speaks very highly. June is very spiritual.

Psychic, some days.

Do you know what she's done for me, dear?

No. No, no one does.

They don't know her.

She's very powerful.

She's much bigger than any part she plays.

It's not acting, you see.

Metamorphosis.

They try to keep her small, you know, but they can't. And they'll try to

her. But not while I'm around.

So they mustn't see those pictures.

I want that portfolio.

And if you don't find it sharpish, I'll bounce you off the walls until... Who's

that? Oh, that'll be some security people come for their mail.

Well, get rid of them.

Hey! I said, get rid of them.

Come on, you've got nothing but black music.

Get rid of them.

Good afternoon.

I wonder if you could spare just ten minutes to talk about the Bible.

What? We find that lots of people want to talk about God, but they're just too

embarrassed.

Embarrassed? Me?

Would you like to talk about God? Come in, come in.

Honor Jehovah with your valuable things and with the first fruits of all your

produce.

Then your stores of supply will be filled with plenty and with new wine

press vats will overflow.

Wonderful.

Wonderful. One doesn't hear words like that often enough.

Brings a tear to your eye.

Doesn't it?

Read on, my son.

Really? Are you sure?

Not often I get to read five or six passages.

Do you have a copy of the Bible here?

Well, this is my nephew's gaff, but I'm sure he's got one around somewhere. He's

a good lad.

Please continue.

It's not often one gets a chance to chew the theological fat, so to speak.

Well, we do have a lot of other people to call on. On the other hand, it's nice

to find someone who wants to hear the word of God. Some days, I can't get

of it.

Where's Arthur?

He's at the security archives looking for that sodding parcel.

Well, when was that?

A couple of hours ago?

A couple of hours.

Hang about.

Oi! There's a geezer in Rotterdam going on about London street names. Can you

sort him out?

No.

Look how many there are, Field.

There's bloody hundreds of them.

Operating all over London.

I've never looked at it like this before.

Like what?

I mean, they're everywhere. Picking up, dropping off.

You can't drive up the West End without them buzzing up your inside and cutting

you up. Going up the Tottenham Court Road, they're practically doing wheelies

over your bonnet. Yeah, I know. Distribution, Phil. Think about it.

All strung together, this is an unchecked distribution network.

For what?

Anything.

Absolutely anything.

Interesting.

Yes?

Yeah.

Sarge, you know this York Street number? Can I pass it on to Hobart only on...

Medium, interesting?

Again, I truly say to you, if two of you on earth agree concerning anything of

importance that they should request, it will take place for them due to my

Father in heaven.

Quite right.

A deal's a deal.

For where there are two or three gathered together in my name, there I am

their midst.

Amen. I must say, you do read a treat. I can listen to you reading all day.

But we do have other people to see, Colin.

Are you sure you have a Bible? Yeah. I don't see one around, because we do

actually supply the book.

As you can see, it is a quality hardback. Sturdy, but very light. And we

them on for eight pounds.

Pass them on? You mean you sell them?

Well, yes, but then eight pounds is nothing. Hold up, hold up. Eight pounds?

I think I've got some of these in lock -up. New World Translation, yeah.

I bought a job lot.

You could have them for a nice price.

Flood damaged.

I thought that was a nice authentic touch.

Yeah, monkey, and they're yours.

That works out at £1 .50 a throw. £1 .50?

I really think we should be going, Colin. No, no, no, no, don't rush, don't

rush. There are things here to be talked about. You heard them, they've got

people to see. To be honest, my voice is starting to go off. No, no, no, you

must think I'm terrible.

I never offered you tea.

Put the kettle on, would you? Now you sit down, sit down.

You sit down and make yourself nice and comfy.

That's it, just there.

And I will read to you.

And the Lord said to Noah, get a boat.

Okay.

Oh, thank God for that. I thought you were never going to get here.

You're still looking for something.

Raymond, Raymond.

Mixed company here. These are men of God.

It's all right, it's all right. We're just leaving.

Yes, that's right. Yes.

No, no, no, we have some unfinished business. No, no, I don't think so.

look, I'll give you my card. If you change your mind about the Bible, give

bell.

See the mess he's made in there.

Stay.

You heard what he said.

Oi!

Knew I could rely on you, Arthur.

He got by on my blind side.

We've got a problem there, eh?

We've got more than one, Arthur. Come and have a butcher's at this.

I'm rapidly going off the dispatch business.

Well, you wait till you cop this little lot. One niggling problem after another.

Aesthetical customers, dodgy signals, lost goods.

And a staffer won't even tell you who they are.

Look, Arthur.

Tickets for the next Manchester United home game. All the main stand, all the

same block of seats.

Where's forgeries, Arthur? Bent tickets?

Eh? Also the year show, next Prince concert, Wembley Cup finals, big fights.

Oh, lottery tickets.

Arthur, you're the biggest mover of bent tickets in London.

Oh, that's just for darting.

Goldleaf Productions, certainly an art to produce. Have a look at them.

Driving licences.

Looks like you've been banging them out quicker than Swansea, Arthur.

Oh, my God.

I mean, we have to examine these things, don't we?

I mean, a man has to follow his hunches sometimes.

We have to.

I mean, what would the job be if we just...

What is he up to?

Aren't you even curious?

Well, yes and no, Sarge.

It's just that I can't get over the enthusiasm.

Especially in the absence of any... Well, anything, really.

You see, I look at it like this, Sarge.

Dispatch is a dodgy business.

Outfits set up and fold all the time. Everyone knows it's a Moonlighters game.

The revenue are going spare, chasing after a load of overnight cowboys and

bikers working under false names.

But Danny won't laugh, Sarge.

So, just think of it as a self -solving problem.

Debbie, can you get me the Inland Revenue Office for the District NW10?

Those punters the Warnock brothers slipped you have turned out choice,

they? That's what comes of doing business with strangers, people whose

you haven't played snooker with.

I've got some more good news for you, Arthur. What?

You've been fencing as well.

This stuff has to be your... Hey, how long was it supposed to be stored here?

One month with a negotiable half -price extension.

Great, so it all sits here, cooling down in my bedroom. Well done, Arthur. All

right, all right. It's all very well being Sherlock after the event. Where

you at the time?

Prancing around with a load of models.

I think a swift exit from the dispatch business is in order.

I distinctly feel a liquidation coming on.

Right, but it doesn't solve this problem, does it?

I reckon you ought to turn the warlocks in.

I will not do that, Raymond. I am not a grass and I have never been one. Arthur,

they stitched you up. They gave you every bent punter they had.

I'm sorry, Raymond. I will turn my hand to many things, but blowing a whistle is

not one of them.

All right, then.

Let me handle this. Come on, you go on. Yeah, all right. And in the morning, get

down the lock up first thing and sort out those... Raymond, Raymond, Raymond.

Don't tell me how to liquidate.

Do I tell you how to breathe?

A favour, my dear. Still gives you plenty of time to go shopping.

Get these logos off, boys.

Bloody unemployed.

Again. Never mind, my dear. I suspect the job market is savouring your

Oh, yeah.

Any of you want references, I'll be happy to oblige. But it won't be on any

paper, of course. We didn't have time to get any printed. All the satchels off.

How's it going? Great. It's one last job.

One last job?

Hey, Rabbit.

Over here.

Look, these outfits, you can't be picking up from the offices because they

exist. So where are the pick -up points for this lot?

There's the Pinchop and he's free. Where? Down Balcombe and Lane, across

lights at St Paul's Way, right into Palmer Street. Now, look, you're going

have to show me. Come on.

Arthur, you wait here. What's happening? I'll ring you later.

That's it, left here.

Stand here, then. Now, bang a right, just behind this pallet.

Down the bottom? Yeah, yeah. Here, here.

Next one.

You sure about this, Rabbit?

Ah, it's all right.

You sure this is it? Of course I'm sure. Down Bow Common Lane, across the

lights. Yeah, all right.

Who else is on this estate?

The baker's in Unit 6.

Electronic skis are next door.

Little mail order from down the end.

Aye. That's it.

Hey, look, that's the one.

Now go to reception.

I said reception, all right?

Here, Julie, get out of the phone book.

I'll call you back when I'm clear.

Make sure you do that, Kenny. OK, W.

Yeah.

No, no, no. Actually, you've come through on the wrong extension.

Hang on a minute. Hang on. Stay there.

We've got a van for you. Cast your... OK, Kerry.

Go to Matthews and Maverick in High Relay.

They've got a red... Yeah, go on. Give me the details.

Yeah, the US2U mail order.

Yeah, well, the van's packed up. We've got a customer screaming. You know how

is. So we're parked outside.

Yeah, there'll be someone to help you load it up and he'll get the delivery

details then.

So what do you want, 15, 20 minutes?

Lovely, mate. Safe, yeah. You got me out of jail. Yeah, cheers.

Bye. I don't get it.

I mean, I don't see where all of you are going, man.

It's going straight down to Thomas Road, left into Bowcommon.

Hello, Arthur.

Now, just a minute, Ray. Where are you?

Where? What are you doing there?

Hey! You want me to go where?

Look, I can't go look at... Ray, I can't... Hello, Ray?

Ray?

Now that he's here.

Come on, Rabbit, it's spot -loading to be done.

By the way, there's no chance you'll know this geezer, is there? I'll go,

Believe me, I do.

Get yourself in there and keep your head down.

Come on.

Oh, you saved me life, mate. Great.

This is just a quick catch -up for mirror print.

I thought it was up to you, my lord.

Who said that?

You can see why he's not the controller in there, can't you?

Going to?

Here, mate.

Public security archive?

Yeah. Well, when I'm late.

Spreading up all the time.

Nature of the business.

You heard Farta come?

Down the corner.

There you go.

Have that. Forget the change. You just make sure you use that contact name or

she won't accept.

You got it? Yeah.

All right.

Mike, are you sure this is straight?

Not yet, but it will be.

Oh, this looks a bit cheeky, Raymond.

Morley.

What?

What public security archive?

You sure it's me he wants?

Hang on, hang on.

Dispatch driver.

RKW dispatch.

Now you hang on to him there.

I'll be right down.

That's the wallet for this.

I wonder how long it will take him to realize what he's got.

Oh, tickets.

I'll tell you what.

I'll bet you a tenner Morley doesn't even tweak.

Okay, you're on.

We've got concerts here.

Raffle tickets.

Football tickets.

Sarge, these tickets were the Man United game.

They're all for the same block of seats.

And stand.

They must be forgeries.

I think you owe me a tenner.

So where's all this come from, then?

Mirror print.

Gladstone Trading Estate.

Mirror print?

That's Ralphie and Keefe's place, remember?

We traced that Wimbledon ticket scam back to there.

So all this has come from the Warnock's own print shop, all the way here, in the

Warnock's very own van.

Yeah.

Well, you nick him for starters.

Oh, you're leaving me out of it.

Thank you, God.

No, no, no, Mr Morley. We're over here.

Well, you've got to give it to him. He does get there in the end.

And don't forget you owe me a tenner.

What do you mean, owe you a tenner? Oh, I won the bet.

What are you talking about, you won the bet?

Of course I did.

I won the bet. I won the bet. Hey, what are you going to do about the bet? Well,

don't change the subject. I'll pick it up later. I won the tenner. No, no, no.

said, I'll bet you a tenner he doesn't quit.

That's right.

Yeah, and he didn't.

Yeah, but Morley did.

No, he didn't.

This looks ugly.

I recognise that little lot.

They're looking a bit travel -sick, Arthur.

What?

Look at that.

Nobody signed for them.

London, Frankfurt, Innsbruck, Rotterdam here. All down to me.

A right Euro stitch -up.

See, that's the problem, Ray, with going into Europe.

Your average businessman doesn't realise.

It's full of foreigners with no sense of fair play.

I mean, what am I going to do with all that junk?

Heritage package, Arthur.

A lucky dip from the tub of history that is London.

Good. Where do you get it from?

Excuse me.

Mr Marks, Inland Revenue.

I'm looking for a Mr Arthur Daly.

Well, there's no need for you to be looking for me.

I'm fully documented and papered up to the end of the century.

Mr. Daly, I've been handed information that suggests you're running a dispatch

service with several freelance operatives.

Where?

Well, from these premises.

So I'm given to understand.

No, there's no dispatch scan on here.

Or as Nelson might have said, I see no motorbikes.

You've been misinformed and misdirected.

Daily in Europe, currently stinging at the hands of the foreign hordes. Take my

advice, ignore anonymous phone calls.

Oh, it wasn't at all anonymous.

Oh, in that case, a few choice words are in order.

No, no, no, this way, Mr Marks, you'll find it easier.

You've been stitched up. That is not a nice feeling at all. Down there.

Look up the office, would you, Raymond?

Get out this way, Mr Marks.

I was fixed up once. I'll never forget it. I think it was in the 50s.

Well, I apologise for the intrusion. No need to apologise.

Knock it off my next assessment.

Can I give you a lift somewhere?

No, it's all right.

They issue me with a bus pass.

Well, as long as they're looking after you.

You ready, then?

More than.

I need a break from this place.

It's starting to cost me. Come on.

Never mind, Arthur.

Get the chance to recoup. What?

June's range of portfolio.

Slipped down the side of me bed.

Told you.

Misfiled imprinted.

Is it worth something?

Highly negotiable, I should think.

Highly negotiable.

Story of my life.

I'd better take care of them then. Give them here.

No, no, no. I'm going to give them back to Susie personally.

I distinctly heard you say the word recoup.

There's different kinds of recoupment. Ray, those photographs belong to me.

Property of the Daily Post.

Prayed not, Arthur. You went in a liquidation, remember?

But, Arthur, it's the nature of the business.