Original subtitles

I can be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

I can be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

How much is it?

4 .35, Governor.

4 .35, eh?

Right down to the last quarter of a mile.

There we are.

Now, now, now, my son, you keep that.

You deserve it.

A nice tour we had all round London.

What's that?

Arthur.

Arthur. What's that?

It's Billy, Arthur.

Billy!

What are you doing here?

Lurking? Spot a lurking?

You all right, Bill? Oh, dear, oh, dear.

What have you done?

I need help, Arthur.

Come inside, we'll have a nice drink.

No, I want a lift, Arthur.

Can you drive me somewhere?

In my state, I'm boozed.

I've been to a function.

Some of the chaps from the lodge.

Come inside and tell me all about it. I need a lift now, Arthur.

I've done my leg in this. Are we friends, Billy? Are we mates?

You will get a lift, my son.

You will get a ride to the ends of the earth.

Lean on me.

Kevin, you've been into yoga and everything.

Yes. Hi.

Have you got notches?

What? Is someone out there?

Terry! Open up.

Open up, Terry.

Shh, Bill.

I'm asleep.

Very important.

Terry.

Open up.

Oh, what have you come as? I'm sorry, Arthur. Listen, mate. He's got his cum

fuel gear on.

I've got something else on him now, all right? Yeah, look, you know Billy

Gilpin, don't you? Well, Billy needs a favour.

Yeah, well, let's come in. Come on, Bill, come in.

Well, go over there.

Over here, Bill.

Keep your nose down.

You want a drink, Billy?

No, thanks, Arthur.

No, look, look, look. I promised Billy. I said if there's one fella...

We will not let you down.

I've got a bird in there. I will explain it to her. You won't. It's taken me

three hours to get her there. You think I can't charm her into staying another

three hours? Look, Terry, I'm sorry, but I really need this favour.

Terry, a friend, Terry. Good night.

Your charm must have penetrated through the bleeding wall.

Not too fast, eh? We don't want to get a pull.

You're right there, Squire.

I ain't been road taxed for months.

Don't you want some music?

No, quite honestly.

I like that one, uh, Friends.

Because you've got to have friends.

Old, uh, Clingman and Linard.

What? They said it.

I mean, uh, the bird sings it, but it's, uh, Old Clingman and Linard wrote it

down.

I won't forget this.

The way I see it, a friend is a guy, you look him up in the middle of the night,

and he'll help you. No questions, nothing.

See?

You haven't asked, have you?

Asked what?

How come pretty Billy's got a bruise on his face and a bad leg?

How come he wants a lift in the middle of the night?

I don't want to know.

Well, that's good.

I've given Arthur an address.

You'll see you're well looked after.

I thought it was all down to friendship.

People I've been with, you see, they don't understand that sort of thing.

Slags.

And the filth.

No way are they going to believe my story.

And I don't want to hear it, Billy.

Me, I'm a champagne man.

I just love that old bubby.

Up, up and away.

But then I get these downers sick.

Really down.

So they put me on these tablets.

I suppose they think I might top myself.

Nearly always cracking jokes, me.

You ask Arthur.

Tell you what.

We meet up again and we'll split a bottle of shabbats, right?

Yeah, right.

How are you going to book in here without any bags or anything?

Guy's a friend.

No friends, Terry.

You ain't even got a life.

Terence McCann.

I'd never have guessed without seeing that.

Yeah, you must have seen quite a few in your time.

No. The Marks and Spencer executive line suit that does it.

You've got no right breaking in here.

Breaking in?

We were kindly allowed access by your associate.

I was having a kid.

Shall we take a ride down the road?

What if I say no?

That would be silly, really.

Because all we want to do is have a talk with you.

Thanks, Arthur.

Wherever I go, Terry, I see dirt.

Wherever I listen, I hear lies.

I've always had a kind of faith in you. No trouble for five years now.

I thought you were a walking testimony to the reformative powers of the British

penal system.

You're running a minicab service for nasty villains like Billy Gilbert.

I gave him a lift. That's no crime, is it?

Well, it depends.

I mean, say two scoundrels walk out of a shop with a string of pearls that

doesn't belong to them and somebody gives them a lift.

That's a crime, isn't it?

Eh?

Yes.

And what about attempted murder?

Is that a crime in your book?

Or aiding and abetting the escape of a man wanted for attempted murder?

I don't know what he did.

I just told you.

Yeah, well, he never mentioned it to me.

What did he talk about, then?

Friends.

Like who?

Well, uh, Clingman and Linhart or something.

Who are they?

They wrote a song, apparently.

Are you trying to be funny?

No, that's what we talked about.

And Lord Ingrave.

Was that a boozer?

He may be, for all I know.

It's also the name of the man that Billy tried to murder.

Well, if he did, he never mentioned it to me.

Listen, Terry.

I'm not asking you to be super gross.

I am advising a slightly more cooperative attitude.

I mean, attempted murder on my patch, and I get somebody, either the guy who

it or the guy who helped him to get away.

Am I coming through loud and clear?

I've got the top one, haven't I?

Looks like it. It's OK by me. I've got plenty of practice.

I've just done a five in Durham.

Only had two weeks.

Bastards down here, they don't give you a chance.

Attempted robbery, they said.

Black and blue all over, they gave me a right kicking on the way in.

Still stuff them.

I say, stuff them.

What are you in for yourself?

Not a lot.

I've been everywhere myself.

Maidenhead, hole.

I've even been up in Peterhead.

I done pottery and carpet weaving up there.

And they nicked you for it?

No, inside.

Occupational therapy.

Bloody cold up there, you know.

You don't say much, do you?

Don't get a lot of chance with you.

Don't mind me. I'm an outgoing sort of fella.

I like getting on with people and that.

What's that, sir?

Oh, straight, I am.

But, like, you, you seem worried.

You know, depressed.

First time in, is it?

Don't worry.

Get it off me chest.

Yeah, why not? Best way.

What do they call you?

They call me Colin.

Big call, usually.

Yeah, I know you.

You do?

You've heard of me?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Probably end up my best pal, won't you?

Then in a fit of depression and remorse, I'll tell you my life story, what I've

done, how I did it.

And the next time I see you, I'll be in the witness box swearing my life away.

Hey, you've got it all wrong.

I just want to be your friend.

Great. But I've had enough of friends for today.

Okay.

Terry!

Don't go on every knock to me, Hawker. We may want you in again.

You got me to thank for getting you out of there.

I got you to thank for getting me in there.

Nice, isn't it? Look, me walking around dressed like this at this time of day.

Don't worry.

All your friends will think you've been to a tailor's for a fitting. Fit up more

likely.

When I think at a dinner's I've been to with some of those people.

D .I. who should be nameless. I got him a deep freeze giveaway price.

Steel.

Well, it was, wasn't it?

Beside the point.

They're not only getting younger, they're getting stroppier.

Taxi!

Yeah, they're just as bad.

Not wearing a yashmeck they don't want to know.

So what about Finlay?

Well, you can never tell with him. He might be doing a bit of cross -channel

swimming.

In the motor, he was talking about chopping himself.

I'll help you make a phone call about our dough before he does it. You're

charming, aren't you? I thought he was a mate of yours. So, I'll cry a little.

But I still want the dough.

Quick sauna, change of attire, and we'll nip over to Lady Ingraves.

Who?

Lady Anna Clare Ingraves. Who is?

Who is?

The wife of the geezer Billy tried to murder, right? That is their personal

private business.

But our wages, that's something else, isn't it?

Taxi!

I'll see you later. Yeah.

Wouldn't be Terence McCann, would it?

Don't do it, Rana. We're not older.

Hard to tell these days.

No aggravation? Someone to talk to you?

Same pattern. That's what they said. Kept me in for bleeding hours.

Bobby Altman gets to the point much quicker.

Who?

A good friend of Billy Gilpin.

I knew that word would come into it somewhere.

Eh?

Friends. I mean Billy.

Very into friends.

How much has he done?

On his fourth mile.

Do a bit of jogging, do you, Terry?

Now and again.

Squash, tennis, badminton?

No. Work out in the gym?

A bit.

I remember you fighting.

Badly handled.

I made you a mug.

Come a long way.

Now you're an even bigger mug.

Somebody get a jug of fresh orange juice.

You work for Arthur Daly?

Eh? You work for Arthur Daly, don't you?

Sort of.

You know what he is?

He's too bob.

He's a financial midget.

Try this beanball, Terry.

No, I'm alright.

He said try it.

See, I run four miles.

I take a shower. I sit down.

My pulse is normal.

That's because I've got a very slow heartbeat.

56 to the minute.

Athletes half my age would like a pulse great like that.

That's what makes me such a calm and rational man.

Know when it quickens?

Talk about money and it quickens.

Talk about money that's been stolen from me and it races.

Billy Gilpin stole money from me and you helped him get away.

Billy's dead.

You believe that?

I don't know.

They reckon he just walked into the water.

Bullshit! With 70 grand, he could walk on the water.

Look, all I did was give him a lift.

What does that make you?

It makes me the geezer who gave him a lift, and that's all. Makes you an

accomplice.

It makes you the man to help steal money from me.

Now, look.

Don't tell me, look!

I'll tell you, look!

I say I'm excited.

I'm angry.

And what happens?

My heart starts racing.

The eye toller.

You heard of him?

Yeah. Well, I'm a fan.

You steal, you get your hand cut off.

You steal from me, and never mind about the referendum.

Never mind about free votes in the House of Commons. You steal from me, and that

is the return of capital punishment.

Yeah, well, I plead diminished responsibility.

What's that supposed to mean? I didn't know what it was all about.

Oh, you didn't wonder what was in his little Gucci case.

He didn't have a case.

So his pocket was bulging.

No. His eye was bulging and he had a dodgy leg.

And you're seeing John's ambulance.

Anybody a little out of sorts and you give him a helping hand.

Big pal of yours, is he?

I've never even met him before.

Can you believe that, chap?

This guy's terrific.

The last of the English gents.

I was just doing a favour.

Oh, that's nice.

You do a favour.

That's a nice thing to do.

I may even believe you.

Now, you're in my house.

You've seen the gym.

I've got staff.

Stuart.

Come down from Scotland.

Ten bobbinies for him.

Now, he's well -dressed.

Lives well.

He's got a gold DuPont lighter.

And he don't even smoke.

You know what a bearer bond is?

Of course you don't.

They're like money.

You take them into a bank and they pay you out face value.

That's what we've been doing. France, Switzerland, Germany.

Don't ask how we got them, but we're selling them.

You need a bit of front for that.

You need to look right.

That's why Pretty Billy's on the firm.

So, temptation falls in his path.

If you don't have the money on him, somebody's looking after him.

Logical?

How'd he come to you?

Arthur brought him two and two, Terry.

You need a pocket calculator for that?

Don't tell Arthur.

Tell him I want my money back.

Tell him if I don't get it, he's a dead man.

I could punch holes in you, Terry.

Know why?

Alan and George will be holding you down.

Tell Arthur.

Bobby Hartman?

Ha ha, don't make me laugh.

I used to know him out at East End.

He used to thieve off thieves.

Well, that's not all that easy, is it?

Kill me?

How's he going to kill me?

I should imagine he'd have a variety of ways.

He'd have ways other people haven't even thought of.

Yeah. Well, you'd better stick around then, wouldn't you?

Yeah.

The lady engraver?

Yes.

I'm Arthur Daly.

Don't mind Beluga.

Oh, my favourite caviar, as it happens.

Beluga, shush.

You'd better come in.

It's all there.

Yeah, yeah. Well?

Yeah, well, we'll be getting along.

Terry?

It is Terry, isn't it?

Yeah? I'd like to thank you for what you did for Billy.

I didn't realise you were friends.

Have you spoken to him?

Yeah. He called me from the hotel.

He was very grateful.

It's nice to know, isn't it?

By the way, how's your husband?

Very ill.

He may even die.

That was a bit strong, wasn't it?

Are you kidding?

Her old man dies. Billy might be dead. Where does that leave me?

Or you, for that matter.

I'm not worried about Bobby Altman.

Should be. Why?

His roller's coming down the road.

Cena. Can't make sense.

You better make yourself good.

What about you?

No, I'll stay here and see who else they've invited to the party.

Yeah. Well, take care of yourself.

You sure they've gone in? Yeah. Yeah.

Walk your dog, lady.

What do you want?

I think it's what we call owning up time. I have nothing to say to you.

well, I've got a few things to say to you. Please leave me alone. You haven't

been exactly straight. If you don't go, I shall call the police.

Oh, yeah?

And what will you tell them?

All about pretty Billy?

Your friend, Bobby Altman? How you just paid Arthur and me off?

What exactly do you want?

Well, how about a little drink for a start, eh?

Thank you, Carlo.

It's good, honestly.

Shouldn't it have some custard on it?

Terry, I think you're a little more sophisticated than that.

Are you?

Well, I'm just trying to think of a sophisticated way to say something else.

Um, you are Billy's mistress, right?

That's a very old -fashioned word.

Yeah, I must have read it in a book.

All right, then.

You and Billy were having it off on the side, that better?

Hmm. But Billy falls madly in love.

He wants to take you away from the squalor you live in to the squalor he

in. How am I doing?

Fair.

But being the little villain he is, he can't think of a nice way to do it.

So he has a go at your old man.

Not quite right.

Well? My husband tried to murder Billy.

What Billy did was in self -defense.

Did you tell the law that?

Would it help?

Not many.

It would help Arthur and me for a start, wouldn't it?

Would they believe it? I mean, who would you believe, Terry?

An hereditary peer of the realm, or a... Anthem little gangster from Canning

Town, yeah.

If you like.

So while these two were fighting over your affections, what were you doing?

Nothing much.

What was the plan, then?

You and Billy going to run away?

Give us a lager.

Well, were you?

Maybe we were. I don't know.

And that's why he nicked the money.

What money?

Come on, Duchess, don't give me that.

Bobby Altman has lost 70 grand.

Billy had it, Billy hid it.

My guess is he thought that would be enough to keep you in the star to which

you're accustomed.

What the hell does it matter to you, anyway?

What does it matter?

Altman thinks that Arthur is keeping the money. And if Altman doesn't get the

money back, he'll kill Arthur.

And as I'm supposed to look after Arthur, he'll probably have a pop at me

all. I thought that's what you were paid for.

I wonder what Billy saw in you.

Couldn't have been your art of gold, could it?

I think I'll go now. Hold on, Duchess.

As everyone's so much into friendship and favour, maybe there's one you can

Such as?

Get your old man to tell the truth to the law.

Excuse me, what ward is Lord Ingrave in?

That's the private ward, down the right.

Okay,

cheers.

Thank you.

They won't let anyone else... seen.

Did you tell him about me and Arthur?

Listen.

Oh, what are you doing here?

I'm a friend of the family, suddenly.

Mr. McCann wanted to see my husband.

Did he?

Very considerate of you, Terry.

I believe he's making a bit of a recovery.

He's much better, thank you. Good.

In fact, good news all round.

They just fished Billy Gilpin's body out of the sea.

Somebody identified the body?

Oh, yeah.

His sister's just been down there.

Tired carried him well out.

Thought he looked into a nice bit of Dover soul and comes up with Billy

Didn't seem too bad, considered him.

Always was a good -looking boy.

I was just going to let Lord Ingrave know, lady.

Thank you.

Come on. If you'll pardon the expression, Terry, this sort of lets you

hook, doesn't it?

believe him?

Why not?

Billy was a very good swimmer.

He was going to set up a fake suicide, you mean?

All that stuff he gave me about depression and tablets and topping

all a load of crap. I suppose so.

Just there to set me up as part of the great conspiracy.

I don't know.

Well, hold on.

What do you know?

He was going to swim out to sea for about a mile.

A friend was going to pick him up in a launch.

They were going to land in Normandy. Another friend was going to drive him to

Paris.

Must be really great having all them friends, eh?

Come on.

I hope you're well insured, Arthur. You've just done our nearside wing.

And he didn't leave a message for me.

No, no, that's all right, no.

No, I'll hang round here, he'll probably show up.

Yeah.

It's you.

Give us

the gin and tonic, a large one, and a

lager when you've got a minute, please.

Oh, nice.

You might have rung me.

I meant to, honestly.

But what about tomorrow?

Yeah, any luck I'll probably be out.

Jane. Valerie.

Put it on a slate, will you?

Slice of lemon, all right?

That's all they got in the way of fruit.

Fine.

So this is it, eh?

The natural habitat of Terry McCann.

Yeah.

I'm surprised Billy didn't bring it to places like this.

He was a champagne man.

Oh, that's right, yeah. He kept on telling me.

But this is where he belonged, though.

I mean, what was it?

A little thing.

Now, you see that geezer at the bar?

No, he's a thief.

Good one, as it happens.

No, him.

He'll steal and lie, but he would never land a friend in trouble.

And you're one of the same species, are you?

Except I don't steal.

You beat people up for a living.

Who told you that?

No, I escort drunks to the door.

Sometimes I look after people who can't look after themselves.

But I never cause trouble. I try and stop it.

And how do you recognise it?

Well, it's not difficult after a while.

You soon come to recognise whether it's just the booze talking, geezers going on

and on about how many fights they've had.

Well, they're no threat at all. Then there's the other mob.

Cold blue eyes, smart suits, think they should have been in Day of the Jackal.

Well, they're terrific at shouting at birds in the typing pool.

Now, in my game, you don't look for trouble.

You just keep an eye out for the guys who are going to start it.

And you're always right.

Right, me? No, you're kidding.

Now, you see, there's one mob.

Who you can never recognise.

Nuts. And what do they look like?

That's the trouble, you see.

They look like anybody.

They look like you, Duchess.

Hello, Bob.

Bit of a misunderstanding, eh?

Is there?

You look older, Arthur.

Well, time marches on and all that.

You're looking well.

I said not to hurt him.

Well, he got leppy in the motor.

I was expecting 70 grand.

You've got it all wrong, Bob.

All I did was... Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. I heard it all from Terry.

Did he give you my message?

Yeah. You thought a few nights at the hotel and they'd forget all about it.

then you heard that Billy really was dead and you thought, hello, suddenly

Christmas. I haven't heard nothing. Don't lie!

I can stand a thief.

I can't stand a liar.

You haven't changed.

You were too Bob in the old days, you're still too Bob.

Actually, you've upset me.

I'm sorry about that.

I said no violence!

Don't hurt him!

See, now I've got to calm down.

Oh, I'm sorry about that. Shut up!

Give him a camp bed and a lilo.

We'll make an early start in the morning, Arthur.

So you and your old man were the front for Altman, eh?

Poncing all round Europe, selling off dodgy bearer bonds.

More or less.

God, dear, I bet Altman loved that.

Well, of course he did.

New money craves old respectability.

Then why screw it all up by falling for pretty Billy?

He was very good company.

Oh.

That's what my mum said about our old labyrinth door.

Then I'd probably have liked him.

Yeah, you probably would.

He was the right little scallywag and all.

What are you, Duchess?

A villain's groupie?

I loved Billy.

Maybe you did.

But he ain't coming back, is he?

And he don't need the money any more.

And does Altman?

Oh, not many.

Listen, he needs it more... Well, what do you call it?

The old respectability.

He needs enough, Duchess, to put you in a hospital bed next to your husband.

If I tell him about you and Billy.

And would you?

Oh, yes.

I've got a friend, too.

Now, come on, Duchess.

The money.

Bit more than that cellar, was it, Arthur?

No. No, it's OK.

You look a mess.

Get your clothes off.

Eh?

Undress.

What for?

Because I said so.

Look, honest to God, you've got it all wrong.

Go to my house, turn it upside down, you won't find any money there.

Well, obviously you'll find a bob or two, but you won't find your money.

I believe you.

Because you've hid it somewhere else.

On my boy Terry's life.

Clothes off.

What are you going to do?

Oh, I've got it.

Arthur Finkie's torture.

Strip off.

Electrodes on the private parts.

What do you think we are?

Some nasty little South London team?

This is Happy Hampstead, Arthur.

London's Lung, somebody called it. That's why I live up here.

Because it's healthy.

Give me my skier.

Go for a run.

You're joking.

I don't run.

We're about the same age, aren't we?

And I'm in perfect condition.

But you, Arthur, a bit flabby.

Too much of the old vodka.

Still smoke.

Late nights, chasing after young birds.

You could lose two stone, don't bother.

Change your whole life. Change your outlook.

Know what a run does for you?

Clears the mind.

Business problems, whoosh, float away.

And with the mind clear, helps the memory.

Things come back to you.

You'd be surprised.

See, I've got a Cartier watch.

I couldn't find it.

I've shouted at the dear wife.

I've even come to the point where I thought the lads had nicked it, or the

pair. I went out for a run, and what happened?

Suddenly I remembered.

I'd left it in the tweed jacket.

In the tweed jacket.

See, that's what Iran did for me.

Found me a couple of grand's worth of watch.

There you are.

You look fitter already.

Tell you what, Arthur.

You could do a runner. This jogging, it's not my game. Of course it is. On

mark, Arthur.

Get set.

Go!

See, it's quite easy, isn't it? Yeah.

Okay.

Doctors don't approve of this, you know, if you're out of condition. Never too

much, too soon.

Some fellas, you know, their legs go first like old fighters.

Then their lungs begin to tighten.

Hey.

Bobby's taking him over the cross -country bit now.

I suppose you could say he's going to run him into the ground. Yeah.

We'd better turn around.

Bleeding McCain.

Have him off the road.

Read the statistics.

Heart attacks.

You dropped dead, Arthur. What did they find?

Just another old jogger.

The money, Arthur.

Don't know.

Then run.

You've been abusing your body.

You're killing me.

And I don't know.

Nice, big, deep breaths.

And you can tell me.

See? Quite what a little exercise could do for you, innit?

Innit just.

What's going to count it, then?

No, Terry, no.

No, you've got an honest face.

Leave it out, Stuart.

He'll slaughter you.

Come on, mate. You're all right. Come on. I'll be careful.

Come on. Come on.

There you go. That's it. There you go.

Terry, I'm a goner.

The watch.

You have the watch.

Look after her indoors.

Don't tell her too much. Come on, you're all right. Get your feet on your

plates. Come on, that's it.

Good deep breaths. Come on, come on.

In a minute, I'm going.

Oh, I need a kiss of life.

Oh, I'm sorry about that, mate.

Listen, have a cigar, eh?

Yeah, mate.

Where would we be without a mate?

Just the wrong location I've got a good

idea Just you keep me near I'd be so good for you

I could be so good for you I'm gonna help you Love you like you want me to