Original subtitles

Ta -da!

That's fast.

Ta -da!

Bayo, don't you like what I'm wearing?

Don't you think I look good?

Gladi, you look good, gorgeous, fantastic.

You haven't even looked at me.

Oh, Gladi, there's only ten minutes left to the end of the match.

What do you think now, Bayo?

Gladi, I'm going to miss the penalty now.

They missed.

Enough of this game, Bayo.

I've had it with you. What do you mean you've had it with me?

I've had it with being unappreciated, unsatisfied and unloved.

Gladys, you can feel appreciated, satisfied and loved after the match.

So a football game is more important to you than your wife? Is that a trick

question? My point exactly.

That's not what I meant.

What did you mean?

Gladys, what are you complaining about?

Do I not make you feel special?

I think that's a trick question.

Did I not buy you a box of chocolates last week? Oh, the ones that are out of

date? There was nothing wrong with them. I should know. I ate them.

What about the necklace I bought for you as a gift? Oh, you mean the fake one

you forced me to wear to that wedding?

They look real from a distance.

He gave me a rash.

Mr. Fix, it was 100 % genuine. You believe him, you believe anything.

What about the flowers I got for you just this morning?

You mean the ones that have died already?

Huh?

Oh, face it.

You're useless at romance.

You're not caring.

Either you make changes or I will. What do you mean?

Mayo, I need to be loved, cherished,

romanced.

You have 12 hours to improve.

Ha, potato.

I can make you feel loved, cherished, romanced. Let us go upstairs and I will

quality you correct.

Mayo, no.

I won't cook.

I won't clean.

And I most definitely will not let you quality me correct.

Until you romance me. You have 12 hours.

Either you shape up or ship out.

Chickener.

The Adebanjo. Frank, can you believe it?

She said I have less than 12 hours to show her a romantic gesture.

12 hours?

Mm -hmm.

That's less than a day.

Well done. Clap for yourself. You can count. That's not the point, Frank.

My wife giving me an ultimatum like that, denying me no more quality time.

Can you imagine me, me, by you, Adebanjo? Is it because we're in London?

You're lucky you even have a little time.

My wife chucked me out straight away. No time to improve.

Women these days are really growing wings.

Back in my parents' day, this sort of thing would not be happening.

That's right.

Women used to have respect for their husbands.

Then all these independent women came over and corrupted them.

Nowadays, the women have all the power of France.

If you demand, you mess up, they will divorce you.

They will kick you out. They will make you homeless, homeless, hopeless.

Helpless, pathetic, idiotic? A little bit like you, Frank.

Thanks, Bayou.

You're in the doghouse, Bayou. You have the face of a fearful man.

Tony, I have less than 12 hours to win over Gladly with a romantic gesture. Ah,

well, you're in luck.

Tony, say, if I want advice about romance, is it you I'm going to come and

No, listen, as it happens, I'm arranging a special night here in the cafe full

of passion and romance. And it's tonight, Tony's salsa night.

Salsa. Do I look like a salsa dancer?

Tony, you are a genius.

Salsa is one of those dances where you can get up close and partner with your

woman. Come on, Bayo, come along.

Bayo, this is the answer. This is how you get passion back into your

relationship.

You can win. That is over.

And I can get myself a new woman.

Well?

Okay.

If salsa is what it takes to show Gladys a romantic gesture, then

salsa it is.

Salsa.

Hey, Tanisha. How's it going?

Hey, Toby.

Not good.

I'm just trying to wrap my head around Mr. Clive's assignment.

Do you need any help? I mean... Uh, you?

You're not exactly the poster boy for good grades.

Look, you know I really like you, right?

I like you, too.

You know, you're the best friend a girl can ask for.

Friend?

Yes.

You know, you're really nice and cute and funny.

There needs to be more guys like you out there.

Oh, wait.

You just see me as a friend.

Not just a friend.

Oh. A best friend.

You know, sometimes I miss my ex before he went backpacking to Australia.

He used to be so...

Caring and charming and lovely and romantic.

A girl needs a bit of genuine romance.

So wait, you're saying you like it when guys are romantic, yeah?

Oh yeah, I'm a sucker for cheesy romance.

Well, I think I could show you a thing or two.

Yeah, all I want you to show me is how to do my coursework.

Yeah, of course.

I could help you do that tonight.

Friends.

Tonight? Really?

Toby, that is so sweet. Oh, well, you know me. Sweet Toby.

Friendly Toby. Thank you. No problem. Thank you so much.

See you tonight.

Bye. Bye.

Friends.

And me.

Gotta get out the friend zone, man.

And it's dark tonight.

No, no, no, no. Bayo, I'm not going to this salsa night.

You are not trying to.

What kind of man will take his wife to a salsa night in an ordinary cafe?

I told you, Gadi, this man, he has no romance.

But Tony said that women love salsa. Tony said so.

And you are taking relationship advice from Tony. That useless single man.

And you want to talk? You have been single for decades.

Look, I'm choosy with my man.

Just pass this idea and think of something else. Which African woman in

life's mind will find salsa night romantic?

Come, couldn't you find that don't -do night? Look, even Frank said that salsa

is the best way to get close to your woman.

Frank, to spice this up. Yes, Frank. So, are you saying Frank will be there?

Frank will be there.

That means he wants to meet you dancing.

Yeah, Gladys, you are going. Oh.

What are you talking about, Auntie Funke? You are going to this special

But didn't you just say it was a waste of time? Oh, look, I had a few glasses

wine early in the morning.

I'm sober now.

You are going. I'm also, I'm coming too.

For moral support.

Okay, okay, fine.

If I don't like it, I'm leaving. But get ready for 7 o 'clock.

Now I'm going to practice my moves.

Salsa with Frank.

Here I come.

Toby,

have you got the place ready yet? Dad, don't worry.

This place is going to be sick and fun.

I'm talking rose petals.

Oh, rose petals.

Good thinking. I want the lights to be dim.

The place to smell fresh and your mother's favorite song to be played.

that's going to cost extra.

Toby, should you be charging me for trying to improve your parents' love

eh? Uh, yes.

Dad, I've got a business to run.

So, 30 pounds on the call.

Eh?

30 pounds. You must be joking.

Joker.

When will you be back?

P .M.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing.

Nothing? Why are you so edgy and fidgety?

OK,

Dad, you got me.

The thought of you and Mum coming back and getting up to God knows what

has just traumatised me.

Liar. I'm not... £12.

£20.

£15. £20.

£16. Twenty.

Oh, my God, like father, like son.

Final. Eighteen.

Final. Twenty.

Deal.

Dad, I already know it's under the sofa.

Don't tell anybody.

Promise? Okay.

Well, see you later.

Do you mean later than tonight?

Vladdy, Funke, come on. We have to go or else we're going to be late.

Vladdy, are we going to Bible study?

It looks like they're going to church.

You have to dress into something comfortable. This is salsa.

So we can move.

Move.

Do you want me to wear something that Auntie Wufunke would wear? Maybe.

Or maybe not.

You look like you're

about to pull something on Peckham High Street at 11pm.

What is this? I am on the pull.

I'm going to be pulling Frank. The only thing you're going to pull is a muscle.

Will you two go and get into something more casual and comfortable?

Come on.

Sharp, sharp.

What kind of rubbish is this? My friend, come on.

Come on.

Hurry up.

Hey! Hey!

That thing should be banned permanently.

It seems like we're the first ones here.

It looks like Frank is going to be late.

Even more time for me to prepare for him.

Okay, where are you going?

We just got here.

Do you see anybody here?

I'm going home.

I'm going to go and do some touch -up.

Good luck. For my son.

Sugar.

So where is this instructor?

Bayo, are you sure you didn't get the day wrong?

Do I look that stupid?

Don't answer that.

Pastor Michael, I didn't know that you dance salsa.

Dance salsa?

Dance salsa?

I've not come to dance salsa. I've come to lead the salsa class.

You are the dancing instructor.

My friend, the church requires emergency funds. So I'm finding new ways to raise

the cash and fill the void.

Now,

Let's pair up.

Pair up. There's only two of us here.

It's a good pair.

I'm sure more people will turn up soon.

Pastor Michael, what do you know about salsa?

What do I know about salsa?

What do I know about salsa?

Gladys, never judge a book by its cover.

Hi.

Oh, my God, I have so much to do. Simon, thank you. It's just incredible.

It's... Uh... Oh, my God!

lovely. It's so romantic.

What is it for?

For you.

You're my girl.

Friend.

Anyways, for you.

But I thought we were meant to do some work.

That's true.

But that can wait.

Because I thought tonight we could chill.

Maybe watch a rom -com.

And get closer.

As friends.

One,

two.

One, two. Bayo, it's one, two, three. One, two.

No, Bayo.

You're stepping on my foot.

Bayo. What is the matter with you?

Don't mind him. He's doing the Nigerian style. No, no, no. I've got it. I've got

it.

One, two, three. One, two, three. One,

two, three. Five, six, seven. One, two, three.

Five, six, seven. One, two, three.

Five, six, seven. Five, six, seven.

Five, six, seven. Five, six, seven. Five, six, seven. Five, six, seven.

six, seven.

Five, six,

seven. 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. I've got it now. I've got it.

1, 2, 3,

5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Pastor,

this is getting out of order now.

Don't ruin the rhythm.

Daddy, let your body move.

Daddy,

I think we should take this to the next level.

Look, my friend, what do you think I'm doing? What do you think I'm doing, my

friend? Watch yourself.

What's the problem?

I'm learning now. Learning what? This is not education. This is seduction.

But why? Your wife has good moods. She has potential.

Potential? I will potential your head.

No body can touch my potential.

My moonlight, my love, my everything. She's mine and only mine.

No, why?

Why?

Shut up!

Gladys, we are leaving.

But I'm just... Gladys, you are going... You cannot go!

We haven't even started yet!

I guess I'll be sourcing on my own.

Pastor,

what are you doing? I'm just... I'm just here sourcing.

Is that what you call it?

Brother Bio and Sister Gladys.

I've just left me here alone, so I'm just here spousaling on my own.

Has my Frank been in here yet?

Frank? Yes. I hope you have not scared him away with your moves. No, Frank has

not come. Does he plan to come?

Of course.

He's here to dance with his funky.

Correct.

I'm sure if Frank knows that you are coming, he will stay well away.

Am I late for this house or not?

Frank, what a surprise.

Are you the teacher? Yes, indeed.

I am the teacher of this after class, and I've also come to fill the void.

And I've come here to dance.

But what about all the beautiful ladies that were meant to be coming?

Look here, I'm here, Frank.

Open your eyes.

My boy, it's just you, me, and her.

But where's Bayo?

He had a massive change of heart.

Not the only one.

I'm here, Frank.

Come on, Frank. Let's dance the night away.

Yes, come on. Let's dance.

But it's only God that will help me teach this woman.

I need God to help me get me out of here.

Come on, Frank.

Let me lead you in this dance.

You're right, Fuge.

Close your eyes and wait to be serenaded.

Oh, I'm ready. I'm ready, my love.

We will dance into the early hours.

Come on. Move.

Move. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three.

Where is Frank?

Guess I am left alone again to sasarize on my own.

Oh, yeah, pasto. Make me sasa.

Toby,

you are such bad influence. We haven't done any work tonight.

By bad, you mean good, right?

What? Never mind.

Just keep watching.

Toby,

what are you doing?

Just stretching.

Yeah. Could you get any closer?

I could try.

Look, Toby, I...

friends but don't you want to be more like

we've known each other for so long and I've really grown to like you so I

just want you to be

Our salsa?

Let's just say salsa is not for us.

But, Ayo, you're so jealous.

No, Gladys. I wanted to bring you back home as soon as possible so we can have

romantic night here.

Look at all that I've done for you.

I can see you are impressed.

Ayo, it's not the flowers or the gifts or my favorite song that has impressed

me. No?

No, it was the jealousy.

I've never seen so much passion from you.

You showed me that you still love me and will fight for me, Bayo.

Gladly. You are my potato.

Soulmate.

And that is what I want. For you to always show me that you have that

that enthusiasm,

that spark.

Gladly. Let us go upstairs, and I will show you that enthusiasm.

Guys, guys, I'm still here.

Oh, baby.

Let's get this on.

Let's get this on.

I'm so, oh, sorry about that.

Yeah, um, your parents are too much. Like, literally.

Believe me, I'm used to it.

Look, let me, let me make it up to you.

How? By telling me you're gonna... Teach me math and then use my shoulder as a

calculator. I don't think so.

I made this whole romantic surprise and... Uh, romantic?

Me standing behind this door while your parents are trying to get it on? I just

didn't want my parents to see.

Look,

I really, really do like you.

And I would love if you would be mine.

Toby? Is there something on my face?

No, no, no, no, no. Toby!

Toby.

We need to have a serial conversation.