All language subtitles for Ordinary Love 2019.1080p.BluRay.DD5.1.x264-iFT

How does the Fitbit
know you're walking?

Because your arms
are moving.

Say they weren't.

It's on your arm.
Who walks without moving their arm?

Well, duh.
Someone who's had a stroke.

And I know what you're gonna
say, so both arms.

- A stroke? Both arms?
- Yes.

Put it
on your ankle.

You'd think that, but it's not
in the instructions, is it?

When are you gonna
take the decorations down?

- When are you gonna take 'em down?
- It's your job.

I put them up,
you take them down.

You put them up,
I take them down.

Just add "baby" to that,
and it could be the title of a song.

Hmm.

You put them up,
I take them down, baby.

- You should write it.
- I will.

- Are you gonna get in the shower first?
- No.

Gonna have a beer.

Well, that defeats the
whole purpose of walking.

- No, it doesn't.
- How does it not?

You're out walking to get a bit
fitter, lose a bit of weight.

How does the beer
add to that?

The walking allows me
to have the beer.

Oh, right.

Plus, more to the point,
I'm a grown man.

If I want to sit in my
own house and have a beer

after putting a lot of effort
into a good strenuous walk,

that is what
I shall do.

...after a thrillin 3-2 victory
for United the last time they played...

Tom,
can you come up here?

- Yes, sweetness?
- Feel my left breast.

Just the one?
This is a new approach.

- Just feel it.
- What, here?

Yeah.

Can you feel anything?

A lump?

I feel something.

A lump?

Lump-ish.

It's a lump.

Could be anything.

It can't be anything. It can
only be one of a few things.

- This could be nothing.
- Well...

- Go to the doctor's in the morning.
- Yeah.

It will be fine.

Lumps, bumps,
pains, aches.

You're of an age,
kid.

I can go now?
I've done enough groping?

Unless, of course...

You've done enough.

Magic touch.

What I'm feeling,
the shape of it is quite distinct.

That would suggest to me
that it's a cyst.

You had a mammogram a while
ago, didn't you?

Yes, about
eight months ago.

To be on the safe side, we'll arrange
an appointment for you at the hospital.

- Okay.
- This is just precautionary.

- I think it's a cyst.
- All right.

How's Tom?

Oh, the same.

He's Tom all the time.

Do you notice anything
different about the soup?

- There is. What is it?
- You tell me.

Is this a quiz? If I get it right,
do I get another bowl of soup?

For once in your life,
can you be bloody normal?

I am normal. Very normal.
Let's see if I get this.

I want you to get it right.
That means what I did worked.

- I'm gonna get it wrong on purpose now.
- Just say it, idiot.

- Worcestershire sauce.
- Correct.

- I'm good, baby.
- I'm good.

Your man is getting
later and later.

What would happen if you
were waiting on something?

I was waiting on
something.

Oh, right.

Hospital appointment.

When?

Um...

Next week.

Great.
The sooner the better.

Yeah. No, no, I know.
It's good.

I don't know what the
situation is here.

Do I go in with you?
Do I wait? What?

- It's a mammogram.
- I know.

Well, they won't
allow you into that.

I know, but after?

Oh, I don't know. If you have to
wait, you can have a cup of tea.

I'm going off tea.

You know
what I mean.

It will be all right.

I know.

They charge you
for parking.

Even if you're
a patient?

I think so.

Everything's money.

I know.

And this is the
little biopsy, okay?

And we're going in now.

One, two, three.

Hold on. We're in the area now.

And that...
It's coming.

One, two, three.

Ow!

Super. Well done.

I thought you said you
were going off tea.

Yeah.
Just thinking about it.

No definite decision
has been taken as yet.

Maybe we should
both stop.

- Cut out caffeine altogether.
- Why?

Why you?

Taste of it.
Sometimes it makes me feel a bit sick.

I was thinking
healthier.

No, that would be just
one more thing for you...

For me to what?

For you to hit me
with a stick about.

Very good.

I should hit you
with something.

There's a lot of waiting
in hospitals, huh?

I don't like it.

I don't like all the
sick people either.

How can that be
a good thing,

putting all the sick
people together?

How is that gonna
make anybody better?

Depressing.

I don't think
I could do it.

If you had to do it,
you'd have to do it.

Hospitals
remind me of death.

- Lovely.
- You know what I mean.

So, if I have to come in,
you won't come and visit me?

They're not gonna bring
you in just for a cyst.

All I know is
it felt serious.

That's because of all the
other sick people around you.

You see the nonsense
you talk?

How do you
get through life?

All right.
You're still here with me.

I'm just doing that
out of spite.

Right back at you,
kid.

I realize it's been a very
long day for both of you.

We would have liked to have been
able to give you a firm answer,

but we can't tell yet
what we're dealing with.

What are all the tests
about then?

- Tom.
- Yeah, I know.

I realize
it's very frustrating.

We found some cells
that are concerning.

On a scale of one to five, one being it
isn't cancerous and five being it is,

at the moment,
we're sitting at three.

Do you wanna go out for
something to eat tonight?

Thai or something?

Um...

No, I've already taken
the chops out for dinner.

I just thought...

I know.
I'm all right.

I know.
Baby, it wasn't...

Breaks the day up.

No, I want
to cook the chops.

- She doesn't know.
- Oh.

You'd think that would be the
type of thing they would know.

- Did you tell her your stroke scenario?
- Oh, yes.

We need
tomato juice.

That's
the next aisle.

I know that.
I'm just saying we need it.

You drink too much
tomato juice.

That stuff made from
concentrate is full of sugar.

They used to have the stuff
that isn't concentrate,

but they don't
have it anymore.

I like tomato juice.

Why don't you just
eat more tomatoes?

What's wrong with you?
Eat more tomatoes!

I'm just saying.

We should buy a juicer.
Then you could make your own tomato juice.

What's the chances
of that happening?

It would just sit there beside
a bowl of rotten tomatoes

and a carton
of tomato juice.

Well, it wouldn't
if you'd use it.

Hold on till I get
this right here.

We're having some
type of an argument

about the frequency of me
using a juicer we don't own.

No, I'm just saying, if you had
it, then you should use it.

Aye, very good.

What's gonna happen
if I've got cancer?

You don't know
that you do.

If.

She said on a scale of one to
five, it's three.

I don't think she would have said
that if it was gonna be five.

Three is closer to five
than it is to one.

No, it isn't.

It isn't, but in your head,
three is closer to five than it is to one.

I don't know why,
but you know what I mean. It is.

It isn't.

Well, what's gonna happen
if I've got cancer?

There's no point
in thinking like that now.

You don't know.
You can't do anything until you know.

I know.

I know I've got it.

So you're
a doctor now?

You don't have to be a doctor
to know things like that.

Yes, you do.

I know that three is closer to five,
and I know I've got breast cancer.

Okay. Well,
what are you gonna do then?

I don't know.

Correct. Because you can't do
anything because you don't know.

Well, that's not
an answer.

Joan...

If you have breast cancer,
which I don't think you do...

if you have
breast cancer,

we will do whatever
has to be done,

the two of us.

That's what's
gonna happen.

I have to go
to the toilet.

- Don't be long. I might be called.
- I'll be as long as it takes.

Mrs. Joan Thompson?

- Joan?
- Yes.

Sorry. I'm just waiting
on my husband.

- He's at the toilet.
- Of course.

There he is.

We've been able
to look at your biopsy results,

and I'm afraid it's not the news
we were hoping for.

It does show
that there is cancer.

We'll talk today
about the road ahead.

I think we should start
chemotherapy in the next weeks.

This would mean
a first surgery

to remove the lump
and any lymph glands involved,

followed by chemo.

To reduce the risk of recurrence
in your situation,

we'll discuss a further surgery
to remove both breasts.

And, of course,
your options for reconstruction.

Joan.

Joan!

Come on, kid. No point in lying there.
Come on. Let's get you up to bed.

All right.
Good man.

All right. One, two, three. Hup!

Oh.

That's it.

I love you.

This is gonna
sound strange.

I'm sure it won't.

I'm glad our Debbie isn't
here to go through this.

I mean, I miss her
every day, but...

this would
break her heart.

Look at me.

Tom.

Joan, look at me.

Don't make me cry.

There isn't a moment
I won't be there with you.

I know.

I'm gonna torture you.

You know that, don't you?

- You torture me now.
- Good.

You know what
to expect then.

I'm frightened.

I know, kid.
I know.

Every moment.

Go on, eat your toast
before it gets cold.

We should've left earlier.
It's an operation. You can't be late.

We won't be late.

- It's only a fish.
- You still have to feed it.

- Flush it.
- Flush you.

Very good.

How long does it take?

How long
does what take?

- The operation.
- Oh, I don't know.

Hours.

You've got plenty
of time to go to the grave.

- I wanna be there when you get out.
- Tom, it's her birthday.

We always go to the grave on her birthday.
You'll have time.

Tell her I'm sorry
I'm not there,

- but don't tell her why.
- Joan...

That's the way
I have to think about it.

Am I not
allowed to do that?

If I was there I'd say it,
but I'm not there, so you can say it.

If you were there, you wouldn't
have to say you weren't there.

Tom, everything
isn't a joke!

- Joan, she's dead.
- I know.

How can I not
know that?

Just do it, Tom, please.
Just do it.

Sorry.

Of course I will.

Sorry.

It's all right.
It's fine.

- Right.
- Yeah.

It'll be over in no time.
I'll be back here waiting for you.

I know.

All right, kid.

- See you soon.
- Yeah.

Go on then.

Door closing.

Happy birthday, love.

Your mother says she's sorry
she can't be here since...

Look, Debbie,
this is...

this is...
this is crazy. This...

This isn't how I see you.
You're not here.

All I'm doing here is
talking to a bit of stone.

Your mother
has breast cancer.

She told me
not to tell you that.

And I can understand why.

She... she doesn't
want you to worry.

But I imagine if you're looking down on
us, you heard that conversation, so...

It's just helping her
get through it, that's all.

Protecting you
makes her stronger.

She found out
about a month ago.

She's having an operation
today to remove the lumps.

So they'll know more after that,
how serious the situation is.

I mean,
it's serious now.

I mean,
cancer is cancer.

I just...

I just can't tell her
how frightened I am.

Just got to continue on
as normal.

I suppose that's my job
in all this.

That's all you can do.

I couldn't have
the both of you gone.

I'd just be...

adrift.

How do you say to someone,
"Don't die"?

- Everything okay with you today?
- Yes, fine, thank you.

Everything is
running to schedule,

so you should all
be brought down in order.

You'd think they'd know which
one they were going to work on

without having to put
a mark on it.

- I'm starving.
- So am I.

Me too.

They should be able to give you a
tablet that makes you feel not starving.

Or a vodka.

Here we go.
More stitches somewhere.

- Good luck.
- Good luck.

Shouldn't be
long now.

Have you had chemo
before?

- Twice.
- What's it like?

Second one
wasn't so bad.

First one was rough.

It doesn't last,
and you get through it.

Sometimes you feel like you
won't, but you do.

Take every tablet
they give you and more.

And always remember,
when you're at your worst,

what you're going through is
better than the alternative.

- Good luck.
- And you.

You smell lovely.

I try my best.

I was able to remove
the whole tumor.

Now, it wasn't
two lumps.

They were joined,
so we consider that to be one lump.

Right.

Also, because the lymph
nodes were involved,

- I had to remove 13 of those.
- Oh.

And we'll also have to check
it hasn't spread anywhere else.

Where?

We'll do
a bone scan.

We also need to check your
liver and lungs with a CT scan.

Was the lump the size that
normally means it's spread?

There is
no normal here.

We got it.

That all
looks good.

What'd she say?

Um, they got it all,
but it was bigger than they thought.

- Bone scan?
- Yes.

Oh.

That's normal.

Excuse me.

Can you kill a goldfish
by overfeeding them?

I don't know.

I've only started
working here.

I only know
about rabbits.

- Are they old?
- No.

I don't want the wife to
know the one we had died.

Was she fond
of it?

No.
She hated it.

- You all right to walk?
- Fine.

- Bye. I'm on my way now.
- See you.

Thank you.

And what?

You got everything
means you got everything.

No, they did a bone scan to see if
the cancer had spread to my bones.

And that was clear.

Correct. But now you have
to get an upper-body scan.

- Yes.
- Why?

Because she wants to check
my liver and my lungs.

Why didn't she check your lungs
when she was removing the lump?

I don't know.
She can't just put her hand in,

move things out of the
way and take a peek.

How do you know they don't do that?
Are you a doctor now?

Stop talking stupid.

Get cancer and end up knowing
everything about medicine.

All I know is there's something
they're not telling us.

There's nothing they're not telling us.
Why are you doing this?

Up to the damn hospital
again and again and again.

Well, you don't have to
come with me all the time.

- What would you do on your own?
- I'd do what I always do.

I sit and wait and then I
get poked and prodded at.

And what if something happens
and I'm not there? No.

Just drive the car.

Aye, just drive the car.
That's me.

Just drive the car.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Eleven.

Twelve.

Thirteen.

Fourteen.

Fifteen.

Sixteen.

Seventeen.

Eighteen.

Nineteen.

Twenty.

Twenty-one.

Twenty-two.

Twenty-three.

Twenty-four.

She's been away too long.
That's not good.

Not good what way?

Because if it was good
news, she'd be right back.

So you think it's bad news and she doesn't
wanna tell you and she's waiting out there?

That's what I think.

Oh, I think it's good
news, so she's in no rush.

No, if it was good news,
you'd be in a rush.

That's the whole point.
You'd want to be telling the person.

It'd be cruel if you had good
news to wait to tell someone.

It'd be kind if you had bad
news to wait to tell them.

She's been away too long.
It's bad news.

Sorry.
That took longer than I thought.

I was called away
to another patient.

Well, good news.
The scan is all clear.

So what does
that mean?

It means we've removed the
lump and the lymph nodes,

and the cancer hasn't
spread anywhere else.

So, it's gone?

As far as
we're concerned, yes.

And the next thing is to
refer you to an oncologist

to discuss chemotherapy
and other therapies.

Why chemo?
You just said it was gone.

There still might be
tiny cancerous cells

that we can't detect
through scanning.

So... when you said the cancer is
gone, that may not be true?

- Tom, don't...
- I just want to get everything clear.

And so you should.

The cancer that was there
has been removed

and it hasn't spread
any further.

And Joan is now ready
for chemotherapy.

Thank you, Doctor.
That's very clear. Thank you.

From now on, when we're at the
hospital, I don't want you talking.

If I didn't talk,
we wouldn't know anything.

We already knew.
We'd already been told.

It's just you
being you.

Cancer-free,
she said.

Yes. I knew
what she meant.

In situations like this,
you have to be exact.

Oh, I'm sorry, Tom. Are we in a
hospital or are we in a courtroom?

It's not black and white.
The world's gray.

It's nothing to do
with black and white.

Cancer-free is different
from not cancer-free.

Hmm.
Are you cancer free?

Very good.

"As far as we know."

I knew what
she meant.

So from now on,
no more talk from you.

It's to do with me anyway.
I'll ask.

It's to do with you.
You'll ask.

Yes. That was
embarrassing.

- Embarrassing?
- Yes.

- You wanna sit here?
- Yeah.

You see that man in the
blue shirt over there?

Yeah.

I think he was our Debbie's
teacher at primary school.

Oh, right enough.

- Yes, arrogant.
- Yeah.

- I'm gonna talk to him.
- What for?

What for? There's something
the matter with you.

Just to talk to him.
Tell him who I am, that I recognized him.

He looks alone.

Sorry.

I just saw you sitting here.
I think I know you.

Did you used to teach my daughter,
Debbie Thompson, in primary school?

I did.

I was very sad to hear
what happened to Debbie.

Oh.

It's Joan.

Peter.

Debbie was
a delightful child.

Pleasure to teach.

- Hmm. Do you still teach?
- Not at the moment.

Oh, please, sit down.

Are you
on your own?

Oh, my partner, Steve,
is downstairs in the café.

He gets
very emotional.

- It's difficult for him.
- Hmm. I see that in my husband.

Right. So you have
the buzzer?

- Yes. Yeah.
- Right.

Is this your
first time here?

No, second.

How's your treatment
going?

I'm... I'm terminal.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah. They say
if I take the chemo,

we'll have
a while longer.

What... What are you
here for?

Breast cancer.

Has the chemo
been difficult?

Difficult enough.
The nausea.

That might not be difficult for you.
Each treatment's different.

They say that,
anyway.

I don't wanna lose my hair. No hair at
my age, I think I'd look like a man.

For me they said
maybe, maybe not.

I do not want
to be buried bald.

Actually,
that's not true.

Being buried bald
isn't the issue.

Lying in me coffin with the lid off
it, bald, for all to see.

Not that there will be anybody there,
but that's not the point. Just in case.

I think you'd look
dignified.

Dignified?
No, horrified.

Well, you might not
lose it.

Whenever they say "you
might," it means you will.

We should get that printed on T-shirts.
Wear them to the chemo sessions.

Well... there we go.

- Okay.
- Well...

It's lovely
to meet you, Peter.

I'm glad
I came over to talk.

Yeah. Lovely to meet you, Joan.

I take it
that's him then?

Yeah.
His name's Peter.

- Did he remember our Debbie?
- Of course he did.

Talked of her
really fondly.

- Is he still arrogant?
- Huh. No.

He's got
terminal cancer.

Oh.

- That's not good.
- No.

His partner, Steve,
I think he said he was called,

he sits downstairs.
He can't come up here.

Yeah.

I can imagine that would be
difficult for some people, all right.

I hope I bump
into him again.

I'm sure you will.

He doesn't look gay.

No.

- But then you don't look...
- Easy, tiger.

I was gonna say
kind.

- There's not many of us left.
- Hmm.

I couldn't say stupid
because you do look stupid.

Living with you too long
has me looking like that.

Oh!

- Here we go.
- Here we go.

It's all right,
it's all right.

Oh, God.

Is your head sore?
Shall I get a cold cloth?

No, I'm freezing.

Blanket?
Want a blanket?

No, it'll be all right.
It'll go in a minute.

Shall I take this... this basin away
and clean it out or is there more?

There will be more, but you
can clean it out anyway.

Shall I go and just
get another basin?

No, just... just clean
that one out.

Right, right, right.

Sarah has started a
project at nearby Fillingham Court.

She's teaching the residents
about gardening

to inspire them to make the
most of their communal areas

and brighten up
their balconies.

What rubbish bin goes out tonight?
Brown or gray?

I'm not sure.

What went out
last week?

If I knew what went out last week,
I'd know what one goes out tonight.

Think it's gray.

Just look what
the neighbors put out.

I know it's summer,
but what's the point

of having a bin for garden
waste during the winter

when there isn't
any garden waste?

Don't know.

Well,
you should know.

That could be vital
information at some point.

- Vital? Really?
- Yes, Joan. Vital.

- Why don't you go for a walk?
- No.

No, I'm staying.
Watch TV.

I haven't numbed my
brain enough today.

Hmm.

- All right?
- It's coming out in clumps now.

What do you want
to do?

- I don't know.
- Look, there's no...

- No, I know.
- I'll do it. Do you want me to do it?

What?
Where's the scissors?

- In the drawer.
- Right.

Do you wanna
stand or sit?

When have you ever seen anyone
getting their hair cut standing up?

Okay?

Yeah.

Stop.

So, what do you and your
hairdresser talk about?

You and what
an idiot you are.

An idiot who has a pair
of scissors in his hand.

Any particular style
today, madam?

Beehive.

Showing your age
there, kid.

A beehive it is.

Ta-da!

What do you
think?

You look
beautiful.

But then I never really liked
your hair to begin with.

It feels weird.

You're a star, kid.

Absolute star.

- Did you write it down?
- No.

What do you mean,
no?

I gave you a notebook and
a pen especially for that.

I didn't
write it down.

So, you don't know
what tablet to take?

No. Just guess.

You can't guess, Joan.
They're too strong.

Tom, please.
The pain in my legs and feet is...

I'm in agony. Just give me a tablet.
It's one of three.

Just pick one.
I don't care which.

- You were told to write this down.
- Oh, what?

Because I didn't,
you're gonna punish me?

Whose pain is this?
Who's going through this? Me or you?

You sit downstairs drinking
beer while I'm up here in pain.

Excuse me.
Everything you need, I get.

- Well, get me a tablet.
- I don't know which one.

Don't give me that "poor me" garbage.
Did I give you the cancer?

This isn't about cancer.
This is about you.

You never do anything for me
until you've sorted yourself out.

- That right?
- Yes.

I didn't want to fill out
your silly little notepad

because I didn't
feel like it, all right?

No! Because you like
all this.

You'd rather be worse
than better.

It's in your nature.

It's all, "Look at me.
This was always gonna happen to me!

My daughter was killed!
Look at me!"

I hate you,
you know that?

Oh, I know it, all right.
It's there underneath all the time.

Here, there's the box.
You wanna take a tablet? Take one.

Just leave me alone.

On top of everything
I have to deal with you.

We're both
going through this.

No, we're not! Tom, we're not!
I'm going through it!

You've just gotta cope with
things, cope with stuff.

I had the cancer.
I'm going through chemo.

I need to have
a double-mastectomy.

I'm doing my best here!

No, you're not!

Hi.

Hi.

Is this
your first session?

Yes.

Don't be worried about all the
goings-on here. You get used to it.

You think you won't,
but you do.

I always think it's like a busy
train station or something.

Yeah.

How many sessions
have you to do?

- Six.
- Oh.

- Breast cancer.
- Same here.

I hear it's hard.

Well, it can be,
but you get through it.

Take all the painkillers
you can get your hands on.

Once the pain kicks in,
it's hard to get rid of.

Now, are we ready?

Yeah, I like it.
It suits you.

No, it doesn't.

No, it doesn't.

I went to the hairdresser's and she cut it.
I think it looks worse.

It's not even
the right color.

- What does Tom think of it?
- Oh, I don't know.

I mean, he wouldn't say
that he didn't like it,

but you know...

He's at the end
of his tether.

I can see it in him.

Oh, but to hell
with him, so am I.

Too right.

- We fought the other night.
- Hmm?

Oh, well, you need a
blowout, don't you?

Steve won't do it,
not that he's that type,

but even so, God,
he won't offend me now.

Poor man.

He looks frightened,
you know.

More frightened
of me dying than I am.

He won't even talk to me
about stopping chemo.

Are you going to?

Well,
I'm thinking about it.

I can handle it,
but what's the point of even doing that,

if I'm gonna die the
same way no matter what?

Steve thinks I'd be depriving
him of time spent together.

What would you do?

Don't know.

You must've thought
about it

when you heard
about the cancer.

Yeah, I...

Yeah, I thought that...

if it came to that...

no matter how long
you'd been together,

no matter how much
you love each other...

it would have to be my
decision and my decision alone.

I cried
when I thought that.

You know, that we're
all just really...

just on our own.

Too hot.

Jesus Christ.
Tea cozy?

No!

Oh...

You'd think I'd give these
up, wouldn't you?

But then what
would be the point?

Have you somebody
in here?

My wife.
She's got breast cancer.

She's getting chemo,
you know.

They're good in here.

They can't do anything
for me,

but that doesn't mean
to say they're not good.

Your wife will be
well looked after.

Yes.

My wife's dead.

It's just as well.

I can't do this, Tom.

I can't take any more.

It's all right, kid.
It's all right.

I can't do it, Tom.

Look at me.

I don't want
to look at you.

You're nearly there, pet.

I don't want to be
nearly there, Tom.

I don't wanna be
nearly there.

I want it to be over.
I've had enough.

You know...
you know the way...

I always said
I'd do the marathon...

and never did it?

Useless.

I'm useless.

I stand near
the finish line...

watching the people
cross that line...

one by one.

Makes me wanna cry.

But it's...

it's normal people
that are doing it.

I never did it.

You are doing it.

You're coming up
to the finish line, Joan.

You're nearly there, kid.

You're gonna do it.

I've been thinking we should
do something to the house.

Like what?

I don't know.

Bedroom, kitchen.
I don't know, just a change.

They don't need
change, Joan.

Tom, we haven't
decorated since...

And what?
There's only you and me in it.

It doesn't mean
it shouldn't look well.

It looks
well enough.

We're doing the bedroom.

Right.
Not the kitchen?

You think we should
do the kitchen?

I don't think
we should do either.

Right, we're doing the bedroom.
Something bright.

Aye.

What are we doing after this?
Do you wanna go for a drink somewhere?

No, we'll just go up
to the bedroom.

I'll nip over,
get some wine across the road.

It'll be cheaper.

Now that we're saving
for an orange bedroom.

We don't have
to have any drink at all.

Aye, very good.

Don't be getting
a lot of drink.

I wasn't gonna
get a lot.

Don't start.

I know, but, I mean,
we're here doing this.

- We're having a good time.
- Yes.

Are you going
to miss these?

What? Really?

- Now?
- Yes, now.

No.

No?

- What, is this a trick question?
- No.

Are you gonna
miss them?

No.

You'll still
have something left.

I know.

But, I mean,
are you gonna miss them?

Yes.

Good man.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

- What's the pain like today?
- Same.

- You getting more painkillers?
- Yeah.

Did you sleep?

Off and on.

It's difficult to sleep
here, noise of the place.

- How long did they say you'd be in for?
- At least a week.

Got to make sure that the wound's clean
and under my arms are all drained.

Do you need me
to bring anything up?

Yeah.

Can you go into the top drawer
and get my blue nightdress?

Make sure
it's the blue one.

The other one's a bit grubby.
And some knickers.

Any type?

Crotchless?

Don't make me laugh.
It hurts.

Not the crotchless
then?

Oh, Tom!

Sturdy gusset?

Sturdy gusset.

Couple of facecloths
as well.

Anything else?

Any other things that
aren't sexually romantic?

No, just the sexually
romantic stuff.

Hi.

Tom, this is Peter.

- Yes, of course.
- I told you.

- Hi. Good to meet you.
- You too.

I'm gonna go down to the café.
Let you two have a chat.

Well, how about you, missus?

They've removed both of my breasts
and they've reconstructed them.

They pulled up some muscle
from my stomach to do it.

I've got this great big scar across here.
It's like a zip.

Well,
at least it's over.

You know, at the start of all
this, I had this feeling

that if I can get through it
all, that the experience of that,

you know,
just going through it,

it would somehow
change me.

I don't think it has.

I don't think
I want it to.

You're Tom.
Joan's husband?

Peter is with Joan
up in the ward.

Oh, right, yeah.

I heard she was in for an operation.
I hope it all went well.

In doctor speak,
as well as can be expected.

I know. It's just never
a straight answer.

- It's good that she got through it.
- Yeah.

Peter's in because his
blood count is down.

Aye, just keeping an eye on him.

He's dying.

You know that?

Yes.

I've stopped
the chemo.

I knew I was going to do it.
I just took me time working round to it.

I told Steve. I didn't talk
to him about it. I told him.

That didn't
go down well.

He'll come round.

Well, he'll have to.
It's all about time now.

He used to teach
my daughter.

Aye. He said.

I'm sorry to hear
what happened.

Yeah.

That can't be easy.

No.

Have you planned out
what you're gonna do?

Do nothing.

You know, spend time together.
I don't want to do things.

I've spent me whole life
doing things.

Now I want to do
absolutely nothing.

Yeah, when we lost Debbie,
I think Tom felt like that.

Just gave up work
and...

stopped, really.
Well...

I suppose I did too.

I understand that.

I don't know
what I'm gonna do.

I don't think anyone
knows that.

You try not to think about it,
but it's there all the time.

Maybe...

you don't do anything.

Look... I don't know if this is any
good, but I'll say it anyway.

My daughter, Debbie,
was taken away from us suddenly.

I can't explain it.

It's beyond me.

But if I'd have known
she was going to die...

all I would've done
was to spend time with her.

I don't want him
to die.

I know.

I know.

Oh, thank you.

Here, fix this tie,
will you?

A grown man can't
fix his own tie.

What's that about?

You look well, kid.

- Thank you.
- Are you not meant to say that back?

You look well.

Too late.

We'll just stay
for the funeral, okay?

I'm tired.

Joan, if you don't
want to go...

Oh, no,
I do want to go.

But I don't want to get
involved in anything afterwards.

- Are you in pain?
- Yeah, a bit.

- Take another tablet.
- Oh, I will later.

I'm trying to hold off.
I'm taking too many as it is.

- Do you want a cup of tea?
- Yes, please.

The last few weeks of
Peter and I's time together was...

was beautiful.

I've never watched so much
rubbish TV in my life.

It's brilliant,
rubbish TV.

All we did
was sit together.

That's all
we needed to do.

I've never loved any person
as much as I loved that man.

He made me
face the world and...

I will miss him more
than he will ever know.

Peter, I love you.

I don't know what I'm gonna
do without you, but...

I do know that you're still
forever the best part of me.

Hey, that's too many.
Can you not just get a few?

- No. You need more than a few.
- There's only the two of us.

You can't just cook a
few Brussels sprouts.

Why not?

- Oh, I don't know. You just can't.
- Why do we even have to get any?

- I don't even eat them.
- I do.

Once a year.
You eat them once a year.

Well, that's why it's
important to get them.

Anyway,
what do you care?

They stink
the place up.

- You stink the place up.
- Very good.

I'm gonna head around
here and get some beer.

- Have we enough wine?
- Yes, plenty of wine.

Running out over Christmas
would be a nightmare.

- Don't get too much beer.
- I'll get what I need.

I'm just saying
don't get too much.

Ditto regarding
the sprouts.

Oh, get some smoked
salmon, will you?

Oh, aye? Just a wee bit for you?

Aye.

Put a wee bit of tinsel round
the goldfish tank too, will you?

I will if I've got
enough left.

- The fish needs to know it's Christmas.
- Oh, aye.

- You want some more wine?
- No, I'm all right.

Got enough there,
thanks.

- Know what I was thinking?
- No, Tom. What were you thinking?

We should invite your man
Steve over for Christmas.

Yeah,
that's a good idea.

I do have them
sometimes.

Not Christmas dinner
though.

I hadn't thought when,
but why not Christmas dinner?

Well, I'm sure he's got
other places to be anyway.

He might be on his own.

He mightn't want to come
out on Christmas Day.

Maybe, but how do you
know that unless you ask him?

You ask him, then he says, "I can, I can't.
I want to, I don't want to."

Yeah, but he might feel
under pressure if we ask him.

Why don't you leave
the decision up to him

instead of you
making it for him?

Even though we haven't even
asked him the question yet.

All right,
but just not Christmas Day.

A drink then.
Invite him round for a drink.

Yeah, that would
be lovely.

- Okay. You have his number?
- Yeah.

- Will you phone him or will I?
- You can phone him.

Right.

I know what
we've just said,

and I'm not saying
this will happen, but...

Tom...

if you want to ask him for
Christmas, ask him for Christmas.

Okay. Hey...

do we have enough
Brussels sprouts?

More than enough.