All language subtitles for Once Upon a Spy 1980.eng

[♪♪♪]

You all through, Dr. Webster?

Mm? Oh, yes.

All through. Thank you.

Good night.

Sorry I kept you waiting, Susan.

It's all right, Daddy.

You look tired.

Do I?

I suppose I am tired, come to think of it.

Shall we go home? Yeah.

Doctor, good night.

Miss Webster...

Good night.

Gatehouse secure.

Take out all alarm systems.

Come ahead.

[BEEPING]

[BEEPS CONTINUE]

[LASER BLASTS]

Ah, I'm sorry, honey.

It's... it's restricted.

You can't park here without special authority.

This special enough?

Ah, yes, sir.

Ah, ma'am. Mm-hmm.

[COMPUTER BEEPS]

Hello. Anybody here?

JACK: Yeah, back here.

PAIGE: Hello.

JACK: About time you got here.

Hi. I'm looking for Jack Chenault.

JACK: You got my Allen wrenches, right?

Gee, I'm fresh out of Allen wrenches.

Sorry. Are you Jack Chenault?

That really ticks me off.

I've been trying to pry open this casement

with a paper clip.

Ah, wait a second.

Why... why don't we just start that from the top, okay?

You Jack Chenault?

Hold this, will you?

Can I have those, ah, car keys?

These? Yeah.

Sure. Thank you.

Maybe I can pry this open.

Old man Bostwicks must be getting senile.

Sending somebody up here empty-handed.

Oh... oh now, wait a second.

I'm not an Allen wrench delivery person.

I am not an emissary from old man Bostwicks.

But I'm standing here and I'm getting oil on my hands.

And that's irritating the heck out of me.

Now, this is kind of a simple question.

Are you Jack Chenault?

Yes, I am. You are.

Now. Here. Sorry about the oil.

You see, the thing about Allen wrenches is

they're so difficult to keep track of.

Do you have my keys?

JACK: Yeah.

So, what can I do for you?

Ah, the Lady wants to see you.

What lady?

The Lady.

I see.

FRED'S VOICE: Good morning, Jack.

You're late.

Think you're pretty smart, don't you?

FRED'S VOICE: Are you ready to resume our chess game?

How long have you worked for the operation?

About four years.

Will you excuse me a moment?

Junior, we have our work cut out for us.

Fred, it's your move.

I feel like I'm talking in a sack.

My name is Tannehill.

I'm assigned to Operations.

I work for the Lady,

who works for the Federal Government.

You do too.

Which you'd probably know if you didn't live up a tree.

FRED'S VOICE: Queen to King's bishop four, Jack.

Check.

JACK: Doggone it.

I didn't see that.

FRED'S VOICE: I told you

it was six moves to checkmate, Jack.

Now it's five.

I'm gonna have to order you to come with me.

Huh? No, don't do that.

Okay. And if it makes you feel any better,

the Lady is gonna order you to come with me.

Now, would you get your hat? Let's go.

Fred's got us in a tough spot here, Junior.

You're not listening to me. I said let's go.

Shh. Junior's thinking...

Resign?

All right, all right. Great game, Fred.

FRED'S VOICE: Thank you, Jack.

How was it for you?

PAIGE: Okay.

Now, listen, are you gonna come with me now

or do I have to call security and take you in shackles?

Harvey, are you there?

Yeah, there's somebody here from Operations

who says I have to go see the Lady.

What's it all about? The Lady. You have to.

I do?

That's right, Jack. You'd better.

Seriously? Seriously.

JACK: An amusement park?

What are we doing in an amusement park?

I thought we were gonna meet the Lady.

PAIGE: Just be patient, Chenault.

JACK: Terrific.

We meet at the roller coaster

and the merry-go-round at high noon.

No, you're gonna go buy two tickets

to the Tunnel of Love.

Tunnel of Love?

Seriously? Seriously.

Oh, from now on, will you please assume your cover?

My cover? Mm-hmm.

JACK: What kind of cover?

PAIGE: Well, you go over there

and buy two tickets and you act friendly.

You...

sure aren't makin' this very easy, are you?

Would you just go over there and buy two tickets

and pretend that we like each other.

VENDOR: Ice cream.

Two tickets, please.

Thank you.

Come on, honey-bunch.

You and me in the Tunnel of Love at last.

Oh, be still, my foolish heart.

PAIGE: Cute. Real cute.

JACK: What are you so irritable about?

PAIGE: Because you're not taking this seriously.

JACK: Well, how can I?

I feel like this is Terry and the Pirates

and I'm being summoned by the...

Dragon Lady.

Why don't you just tell me what she wants?

Because I'm not allowed

to discuss operational matters.

Oh, I see.

What are you, a secretary or something?

And I'm not allowed to discuss job descriptions.

Forget I asked.

I am most emphatically not a secretary.

Put your arm around me.

We're bein' a smidge forward

on our first date, aren't we?

Just cooperate.

Come on. Put your arm around me.

Yes, sir.

Will necking be required, sir?

Certainly not.

Whoa!

Oh no.

We're here.

Get out.

Hurry up.

Chenault, when you meet the Lady,

speak only when spoken to.

She won't tolerate any idle conversation.

Ah.

That's it. You're on your own.

You're leaving?

Chenault, I fondly hope

that I never have to set eyes on you again.

Major Terry Lee reporting as ordered.

Through that door.

Thank you.

Psst.

Give my regards to Steve Canyon.

Ah-huh.

Hi.

I think there's been a mistake.

I'm just one of your underpaid computer scientists.

See, the person who brought me down here,

who happens to be one of the testier people I've met,

she probably got me confused

with somebody else.

Sit down.

Tell me what you know about the X-two computer.

It was designed and built

by Charlie Webster for NASA.

And next to ours, it's probably the most advanced,

specialized computer in the world. Why?

What would you say if I told you it's been stolen?

Impossible.

It's two stories high, half a block long,

and it weighs more than 3,000 tons.

The X-two's really been stolen?

That's right.

I mean, it would take a team of experts

a week to dismantle the X-two.

Whoever did it, did it in three hours.

They couldn't have.

You're here because you happen to know more about computers

than practically anyone else in the country.

I want you to talk to Dr. Webster.

One computer genius to another.

Well, surely you don't think

he has anything to do with this.

I would bloody well like to find out who did do it.

Whoa. Now, wait a minute.

Now, you have agents

who take care of this kind of thing.

K-twelve's. Killers.

Chenault, this is not a dangerous assignment.

All I want you to do is go to Houston,

drop in at NASA,

poke around in the room where the X-two was,

and then talk to Dr. Webster.

You'll do that much for your dear old country,

won't you?

Poor Charlie.

He must be in shock.

Yes, of course I'll go.

Charlie's a friend of mine.

One of my first teachers.

But let's you and I get something absolutely straight.

This is as far as I go with the investigation.

Of course.

I'm a computer guy, period.

I come to work at nine, and I go home at five.

I play chess.

And I like to go bicycling on the weekends.

Chenault, Jack Leland.

Born March 10, 1945. Missoula, Montana.

PhD, Cal Tech, 1965.

Author of three books

on the theories and designs of computers.

Winners of the Einstein Award for Scientific Achievement.

U.S. singles sculls rowing champion.

Well, that's a fair background for an agent.

Oh, no. Ah-huh.

No, you don't.

No, I am not a spy. I will never be a spy.

If you say so.

I do say so.

And as long as that's clearly understood,

then I will look into this one thing for you.

And then I'm coming home and I'm going to Fred.

My computer. Your computer.

Well, after you've done this one thing,

you and Fred have my permission

to walk off into the sunset hand in hand.

See Burkle outside.

He has your ticket and your itinerary.

One of my people will meet you at Houston International.

What for?

Just in case.

[MUTTERS] Just in case.

Bring me a list of all the K-twelve's

not presently on assignment.

JACK: You're a K-twelve?

PAIGE: Ah-huh.

JACK: Why didn't you tell me?

You didn't ask. Yes, I did.

You said you weren't a secretary.

I didn't lie.

K-twelve's are definitely not secretaries.

I know. They're...

people who carry guns with silencers on them.

Look, if this is supposed to be a safe trip,

what am I doing driving around with a steely-eyed killer?

What kind of accessories does this car have?

Well, it has air conditioning

and then I've got Code Co-Max...

Fifty-caliber machine guns

mounted in the headlights, rocket engines...

This feeling's mutual.

You don't want a professional bodyguard

and I certainly do not want to baby-sit.

You consider this a babysitting assignment?

I certainly do.

Great.

Let's keep it that way.

We'll go see Charlie Webster first,

then go to NASA.

Wait a minute. I'm in charge here,

so I determine the procedure.

Be my guest. Thank you.

Okay, now, we're gonna go see Webster

and then we're gonna go to NASA.

Hey, that's a great plan.

PAIGE: Oh, will you be quiet?

[JACK CHUCKLES]

Oh, there's Charlie now.

We're just in time. He's leaving.

Wait a minute. Something's wrong.

What's wrong is, if I don't stop him now,

I may have to wait all day for him to get back.

Hey, Charlie.

Susan. PAIGE: No, look out...

Quick. They were shooting at me.

PAIGE: Get in. We're gonna lose 'em.

This wasn't supposed to be dangerous.

Chenault, if you're nothing else,

you're observant.

He was shooting at me!

Oh, no!

I know you got a license to kill,

have you got one to drive? Hit the cigarette lighter.

A gun. What am I supposed to do with this?

Take out their tires.

You've gotta be kidding.

It's gonna take me a half an hour

just to assemble it.

PAIGE: No, it won't.

Just attach the stock to the barrel. Come on.

Okay, okay, I'm trying.

Hurry up...

Come on. I am trying.

I am not John Wayne.

Okay, take the wheel.

The what? Take the wheel!

Oh. I'm sorry. Ah, sorry...

Oh, my goodness. Let me take over.

Take the gun.

Oh, look at that. I don't believe it.

They shot at me.

PAIGE: You mean to tell me that's all that's left of the X-two?

What happened?

Well, ma'am...

all I know is that I got pinged

with this weird-looking gun.

I have no idea what went on here.

I'm sorry I can't help.

Well, I'm glad you're okay.

Thanks a lot.

What are you doing?

Reading Charlie's files.

That fast?

Speed-reading.

Uh-huh. And does Junior speed-read?

No. He just computes.

What's that? A toy I found out there.

Let me see.

Well, I'll be darned.

When do we have to leave?

Ah, now. Why?

Charlie is a squirrel.

He keeps everything.

Every note, memo, letter, telephone conversation.

It's all in his files. One interesting thing.

During the past 12 months,

he's received seven inquires

asking him to design and build a computer

with the capabilities of the X-two.

Really?

All from international corporations.

Mirana Chemical of Geneva, Atwell Cooper and Zinc,

Banning International Instruments.

All big corporations.

Don't ring a bell.

The X-two holds the disposition

of everything any nation in the world

has orbiting in space.

Every satellite, space station, nuclear device,

early warning system.

You name it, and the X-two knows

to the microsecond where it is.

Okay, but why would a commercial corporation

want a satellite-tracking computer?

I don't know. Uh-huh.

But I'm gonna feed all of this into Fred

and I'll come up with something...

some kind of answer. Chenault...

thanks for seeing this through.

You're welcome.

But I am never, ever going out in the field again.

I want that clearly understood.

Yes.

They shot at me.

Yeah.

All right. This is what I've got so far.

Now, according to Fred, there is a connection between

all of these off-the-wall international corporations.

They're all subsidiaries of the Valorium Tool Company.

Marcus Valorium?

JACK: Yes, ma'am.

Twelve years ago, I won the Einstein Award

for Scientific Achievement.

So?

Well, so I met Marcus Valorium.

That makes you one of the very few people

who ever has.

Well, at the time,

he wasn't quite the recluse he is now.

I met Marcus because he was in the competition also.

I kinda liked the guy. He came in second.

And went on to become the richest man in the world.

This is the tricky part.

This is a toy ladder that we found

in the computer complex at NASA.

Here, I want you to take a look at this.

How strange.

It doesn't look like a toy at all.

That's because it isn't.

Now, this is what I remember of Marcus' theory.

He started with simple cosmic rays...

alpha particles and gamma particles, et cetera,

that he was going to... that he was going to produce

with a simple particle accelerator,

which is just a cyclotron.

Now, the idea was to intensify the rays

with a series of prisms and mirrors

that he designed himself, until he had a single beam.

Just like a laser.

Except this beam is gonna be composed of cosmic rays.

Now, he insisted that he could alter

the molecular structure

of any object that he zapped with it...

or reduce its mass.

Shrink it?

That's right.

And as far as he wanted to go, in perfect miniature.

Preposterous!

I know. But it would help explain how a 3,000-ton computer

could disappear just like that.

Now, if I'm right, old Marcus got a hold of an...

a particle accelerator, built himself a booster,

and finally proved that he was right all along.

And the whole thing has gotta tie into satellites,

or else why would he need the X-two?

Now, you're saying

that all this is the fevered brainchild

of one of the most famous men in the world.

What if he isn't involved?

K-twelve agents are tracking him down.

If you're wrong,

Congress will turn our operations

into a pinball parlor.

Go on home, Chenault, and get some sleep.

You are officially off the project.

With my thanks.

Right.

Burkle, I want a full staff meeting

in exactly 15 minutes.

Uh, ma'am.

Yes, Chenault.

I just wanna throw in...

one more thing.

I... know I'm off the project.

I'm... delighted to be off the project.

As a matter of fact, there's a bicycle race

I'm interested in on Saturday...

Get to the point.

I think that I can verify

whether or not it was Marcus Valorium.

And at the same time, find him for you.

Oh!

It's been going out on the international wires

like that every 15 minutes.

What does it mean?

Marcus Valorium.

Lost, one purebred gray male schnauzer.

Red collar, white feet.

Answers to the name of X-two.

If found, contact

Jack Leland Chenault, Los Angeles.

Why would Valorium respond to that?

Well, he may not. But if he does,

we've got him.

You see, you need the X-two to be able to decode that.

Don't worry. He'll respond.

My name's at the bottom.

And I'm the only person in the world

who's ever beat him at anything.

Okay, let's say he can decode it.

How's he gonna find you?

I imagine he'll just put his genius to work and...

look me up in the yellow pages.

So, we just wait to see

if you're as smart as you think you are.

I'll go to Headquarters and let the Lady know

what you and Fred are up to.

Oh...

Chenault?

Mm-hmm?

Take care of yourself.

What's that? Concern?

Oh, no. I...

I didn't mean it that way.

We just all know how... handy you are.

So, watch it.

Marcus, you haven't changed one bit.

GUIDE: This particular work

exemplifies the non-representational style.

Notice the clean design

restricted to free forms and curvatures only.

Executed by the sculptor, Richard Irgmann,

it was acquired by Mr. Valorium

on a recent trip to Florence, Italy.

Now, over here in the lower lobby,

we have one of the finest examples

of abstract expressionism.

The collection is one of Mr. Valorium's favorites

and only recently was acquired for public viewing.

Ah, Mr. Chenault.

Mr. Valorium's expecting you.

Good.

Search him.

I'm not carrying anything dangerous.

I... promise.

Pity.

Greta...

Mr. Valorium will see you now.

VALORIUM: Fascinating, isn't it?

Hello. Marcus?

VALORIUM: Chenault.

It's one of my most prized possessions.

It's a miniature of Hamden's Resurrection of Lazarus.

You will note the exquisite detail of the work,

the painting itself and the frame surrounding it.

I was noting it.

It's... quite a slick piece of work.

The original disappeared about a year ago, I think.

It was apparently stolen from the Louvre.

Heartbreaking. But I have my miniature.

It affords me great satisfaction.

A certain amount of eyestrain too, I imagine.

You haven't changed a bit.

Of course I knew that you would probably break my code.

And I also knew that you would be almost certainly

foolish enough to come here alone.

How many years has it been now?

Twelve.

And 17 days.

That's a great memory.

I don't like losing, Chenault.

Oh, come on, Marcus.

It was only a silly little scientific award,

and at the time, you only had a theory.

Remember?

And you think that I've more than a theory now, don't you?

Oh, you mean, because of the message I sent you?

Yeah, we decoded that in 12 minutes.

And you knew I had to have the X-two

to break it that quickly, didn't you?

Actually, no.

It was a shot in the dark.

Anyone could've had the X-two.

Portuguese Girls' Swimming Team

could've had it, for all we knew.

But they didn't.

I have it.

How 'bout that?

Aren't you going to ask me

what I'm going to do with the X-two?

Aren't you curious about my plans?

Not really.

I imagine you'll tell me when you want me to know.

I'm not pressing anybody for any plans.

I would like to know, though,

where Charlie and Susan Webster are.

And how they are.

Oh, they're fine.

They're fine.

Dr. Webster is cooperating fully.

Of course, that isn't entirely surprising.

We do have his daughter... nearby.

And as for my plans, well, I'll tell you this much.

In three hours, I will know if they are going to be fruitful.

A little test will tell me.

And if that test is successful,

in 24 hours, the world will know

what Marcus Valorium's plans are.

Personally, I'm in no great hurry.

Oh, but you are.

You see, I have 27 hours,

and you have three minutes.

To do what?

To live.

I see.

This has been a really tremendous reunion, Marcus.

We're gonna have to get together

and do it again real soon.

Say, in about 12 years.

Uh-huh. As a matter of fact,

I think I'm just gonna go over here

and put it in the old date book.

Whoa!

A small rocket-propelled missile.

I have three others

if your valor should overcome your discretion.

Greta. Rudy.

Mr. Chenault is leaving.

Show him to his grave.

All right. Stay right there.

Move. Move.

I don't know where I'm going, Marcus,

but you're going there too.

What'd you have to go get nasty for?

Oh, come on, you guys. He started it.

What should we do, Mr. Valorium?

Okay, ladies and gentlemen,

up here we have Mr. Valorium's private quarters.

And here we have Mr. Valorium, himself.

Right in the middle of a party.

But I'm sure that he will be more than happy

to sign everybody's autographs.

Remove these people.

PAIGE: Oh, dear. I'm sorry.

I... I goofed.

We're not supposed to be up here at all.

Let's just get right back in the elevator.

Come on, ma'am. That's it.

All right. Here we go.

You too, sir. Let's go.

Sir.

Here we go. That's it.

Sorry. Here we go.

Is that what you ordered? Corners?

Okay. Everybody in.

Going down.

[CHILDREN SCREAMING]

I simply can't believe it.

You just walked right in.

What did you think you were trying to do?

I wanted to find the X-two, that's all.

It never entered my mind that Marcus would...

well, I admit he's changed quite a bit

since I saw him the first time.

LADY: I don't believe you.

I really don't believe you're for real.

JACK: Well, what would you have done?

Had your K-twelve's charge the building

with their laser guns blazing?

Um... you said it.

He's a very prominent national figure.

Now, what if he wasn't involved?

What would the chief have said then?

LADY: I will handle the protocol here, Chenault.

Thank you very much.

I'm sorry. So, now...

all we know is, in the next two hours,

we're gonna have some kind of demonstration of this thing,

and then in 24 hours, all hell breaks loose?

That's it?

That's all he told me. That's all I know.

LADY: Where's Valorium now?

MAN: Long gone.

Lifted off just after Tannehill

got Humpty-Dumpty out of there.

LADY: Well done, Chenault.

JACK: Now, hold on a minute.

I don't happen to think that it's very easy

to knock a gun out of a guy's hand

and I don't happen to...

to know 30 ways to break a man's leg.

And I've never faced an army

of Prussian weight lifters before.

LADY: Oh, enough, Chenault.

Ah, you may all go now. But please stand by.

I have to put a call into the Chief on the hotline.

Now, don't you start in on my case.

Wait a second.

I was just gonna apologize to you

for her being so rough on you.

JACK: Well, I did the best I could.

You work with what you got, y'know.

Yeah. Right.

Thanks a lot. It's okay.

Anyway, thank you for saving my skin, Tannehill.

You're welcome.

How'd you find me?

I tore a page out of your book.

I got back to headquarters and I couldn't find you.

I asked Fred.

My Fred? Yeah.

I didn't really push the buttons.

Your assistant did that. But I asked the questions.

What'd you ask?

I said, Fred, where's Junior?

Huh!

Well, at least I have one friend, anyway.

Thanks. Junior.

Uh-huh.

Hey, we got about an hour and 45 minutes.

Things are so desperate, I think I'll buy you lunch.

Thanks, sport.

Yeah.

JACK: Thank you.

Who would guess

that underneath those smooth, professional exteriors,

there are Geiger counters and radioactive lighters?

Those are my associates.

And they're dedicated people in a very tough business.

Oh, come on.

They love it. The tougher the better.

You just come from another world.

That's right. I do.

And I want to keep it that way.

Well, that's fine.

Do I fall into this category?

Well, now that you mention it,

what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

You really wanna know? Yeah.

Well, I worked like crazy

to get a law degree in corporate law, of course.

And I found out I didn't wanna practice.

And then I was a...

track star and basketball star.

Couldn't make any money as a pro.

It seems that men want you in their bedroom,

not in the locker room.

A lady jock, huh? Sort of.

I mean, you name it, and I can play it.

I always was competitive. Looking for challenges.

I admit I got a lot of satisfaction

out of knocking down doors,

in a "Keep out, Men only" world.

I know the difference between the sexes.

I just think that everything else should be equal.

I agree. Good.

Does this kind of work really do it for you?

Oh, yeah. It's perfect.

See, they recruited me right out of law school.

So, it gave me a sense of purpose, you know,

not competing just for competition's sake.

You are really good at what you do.

You've got me sitting here

spewing out information, don't you?

Just like a computer.

But I still couldn't do what you do.

Sit in a little room all day and punch buttons.

I'd go out of my mind.

That's 'cause you don't feel about computers the way I do.

Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm.

Computers are very special and kind of exciting.

Oh, that's right, you give 'em cute little names.

Fred is not a cute name.

Anyway, you gotta name a computer like Fred.

He's got personality. I'm kinda fond of him.

In many ways, computers are a lot more civilized

than people are.

All they want is a little...

careful maintenance and some intelligence.

Want a date?

What?

I know this really cute little typewriter.

That's very funny.

Thanks. Let's go.

We should go.

No. I'll take care of that.

No, no. Lunch is on me.

No. C'mon.

Nonsense.

Ah, no, I insist.

Wait a minute.

I said lunch was my treat.

I do not want to feel obligated.

You're discriminating.

You are stubborn. I'm very strong too.

Okay, wait, wait, wait a minute.

It's not worth this.

What about separate checks?

Huh? Okay. Okay.

Where's my daughter?

Tell me! Why can't I see her?

We're just following instructions, Dr. Webster.

You do your part, she won't be hurt.

Now, come along.

We don't want to keep Mr. Valorium waiting.

Ah, Dr. Webster.

Is the X-two ready for the test?

I'm not going any further till I see my daughter.

I won't do it.

If you don't, Doctor,

your daughter will be returned

to your loving arms in a small pillbox.

For the last time, is everything ready?

Uh... no.

No, no, it's not.

There's a malfunction in the feedback overflow.

I can't fix it. Everything's too small.

I can't even see some of the components.

I want the precise coordinates

in exactly five minutes.

All systems are checked and ready, Mr. Valorium.

Thank you, Klaus.

VALORIUM: Ladies and gentlemen...

we are now embarking upon our first step

towards the creation of an orderly new world.

Commence procedure, please.

KLAUS: Switch on signal power.

WOMAN TECH: Signal power on.

VALORIUM: Feed in data.

Activate computer guidance.

Programming complete, Dr. Webster?

Complete.

Switch on.

There's no possibility of error.

We are now locked into the computer.

When we are lined up

with the refractor satellite and the target,

the X-two will fire the mass reducer automatically.

Are we set, chief?

Aye-aye, sir.

Okey-doke.

Radio the carrier.

As soon as we're out of range,

they can send in the F-eleven's.

I hate to see her being used for target practice, sir.

I served on her off Inchon in '51.

Sir?

That blasted sun.

It's just too bright. I can't see.

Commander, look, sir.

Oh, my God.

JACK: Well, at least we know why he wanted the X-two.

To locate a satellite so he could bounce

his molecular condenser beam off it

and hit any target in the world he wanted to.

Now, with the X-two as small as it is by now,

they probably need Charlie Webster to program it.

The Air Force has just informed the President

that five standing ICBM's were reduced in Pennsylvania

15 minutes after the carrier was hit.

No personnel missing.

That makes two incidents, right?

That's right.

You know, once when I was in the...

explorer Scouts...

PAIGE: Wouldn't you just know it?

Yeah. I got lost once in the hills around Missoula.

And no cracks, Tannehill.

Anyway, I was carrying a radio transmitter with me.

Now, this is me.

The... sheriffs beamed in on my signal from here

and from there.

Found me in a shot.

Triangulation. Yeah.

Can you find Valorium that way?

I can't. But Fred can.

Well, get Fred.

JACK: Now, according to my calculations,

Valorium's weapon has to be in this general terrain,

right here. Right there.

Not so good.

We're still 20 miles off either direction.

We're going to need the coordinate

to another decimal point.

Is that as close as you can put it, Chenault?

Yes, ma'am.

Burkle, give me the map of the area.

That's the area.

Where? Here? Okay.

Ah, boy, there's nothing out there but gophers.

No towns, very few structures.

An old observatory.

It's been abandoned for almost ten years.

There's no way we can use force

without a precise location of the site.

Burkle, do we have that aircraft?

Standing by, ma'am.

I am sending in one K-twelve, and one only.

Tannehill, that's you.

Yes, ma'am.

LADY: There's less chance of one person being spotted,

while you're trying to pinpoint their exact location.

This'll have to be a judgment call on your part.

If you find the place,

and you're dead sure it's Valorium's,

you will call in the exact coordinates

and I'll have an air strike on top of you

inside of 15 minutes.

The plane will not be able to land.

So once you get in, you're on your own.

Understood?

Yes, ma'am.

Ma'am?

Yes, Chenault?

What about Charlie Webster and his daughter?

What about them?

Well, they'll be killed in an air strike.

Yes, Chenault.

I'm sorry, but that's unavoidable.

Suppose somebody were to go in with Tannehill

and their job was to...

make sure that the Websters got out all right?

Without interfering in Tannehill's mission at all.

Not a bad idea, Chenault.

And you know, as a matter of fact,

it might be very helpful to the mission

if that person were also a computer expert.

That's a great idea.

If I... don't get back,

will you find a nice home for Fred?

You bet I will.

[♪♪♪]

Nervous?

Not yet.

These are for you.

I don't wear glasses.

That's good 'cause they'd break your nose.

They're made out of carborumdum and lead.

These things must weigh two pounds.

Yeah, look, it's got about three yards of wire.

See, in the frame?

Ah. How? Why?

Well, you can use 'em for lots of things.

A garrote for one. What?

It strangles people.

That's not funny.

Not supposed to be.

Just standard K-twelve equipment.

I'm on a mission of mercy, remember?

You're the K-twelve.

Right.

Just out of curiosity,

how many people have you dispatched

in the line of duty?

It doesn't matter. Just don't lose the glasses.

No, no, no, no. I wanna know.

How many foreign agents have you sent

into the great rendezvous in the sky? Mmm?

Okay, now, this is for you too.

I already have a watch. Not like this one.

Ah, c'mon, how many?

It's really a crystal-tuned direction finder.

You just turn the bezel like this

and the closer we are together, the faster the light blinks.

So, if we're ever separated, you can find me.

Thank you.

How many?

None.

Good.

Yet.

Okay, now, I'm gonna keep this.

It's a toxic gas.

One whiff, you're out for hours.

Oh, is that it?

No... fountain pens that shoot poison darts

or umbrellas hiding atom bombs?

You guys are unbelievable.

Rudy.

Look there.

RUDY: I'll get Mr. Valorium, immediately.

We're three minutes from your drop-off coordinates.

Into your parachute, Chenault.

We're really gonna do this, huh?

PAIGE: Well, I thought the terrain

was a little rough to go in by cab.

You know, if you want to jump 5,000 feet without one,

be my guest.

Five thousand feet? Yeah.

Let me help you.

Oh, thank you.

We just take this buckle and hook it right here.

Just like this.

Sure smell good for a captain.

Air Force issue.

There you are now.

The tighter it is, the better.

Yes, so it would seem.

Um, I'll check it myself.

Well, when you're next in the mood

for some flying, look me up.

Good luck. Thank you.

She's really a very nice girl.

Ow! I'm so sorry.

Did I hurt you?

Can you make an identification?

It's a relatively small aircraft,

closing fast.

Give me the exact speed and bearing.

Dr. Webster...

WEBSTER: Yes?

I want an offset trajectory on these bearings, now.

Open the dome.

KLAUS: Switch on.

Lock in the computer.

Doctor?

Programming complete.

PAIGE: Radio communication goes first.

Jump. See you much later.

JACK: We have to stop meeting like this.

PAIGE: Very funny.

JACK: You forgot to tell me.

Where's the ripcord on this thing?

PAIGE: Just release the little orange chute.

Right there.

It's the latest thing in low altitude skydiving.

JACK: Don't give me a commercial.

Just show me how it works.

PAIGE: It's simple.

The little chute pulls the ripcord automatically.

JACK: The little what? Where?

PAIGE: Chenault, don't ever buy a do-it-yourself kit.

JACK: Thanks for the lift.

Switch on.

[BURSTS OF LASER]

PAIGE: Chenault, what was that?

JACK: Oh, my God!

Oh, jump.

Oh, please jump!

Thank God.

KLAUS: Molecular interdiction completed.

Switch off.

JACK: Dear Lord, if I get out of this,

I promise I will never volunteer for anything again.

Oh! Oh!

Uh-huh.

Are you all right?

JACK: Oh, yeah.

I'm fine. Just fine.

But let's not make a habit out of this.

All right?

I want an immediate surveillance.

Search the entire area

and bring me a definitive report.

Well, let's just hope

we can find them by daybreak.

We're only gonna have six hours from sunrise.

That's five hours and 15 minutes

to locate Valorium and get the Websters out.

I'll radio the coordinates

no later than 45 minutes from zero hour.

JACK: Poor Charlie.

It must kill him to see the X-two used like this.

Get down!

They're looking for us.

Well, maybe they don't know it's us.

Maybe they're just out looking to be looking.

I mean, they know they got the plane.

And I don't think we showed up on the radar.

Let's go!

[♪♪♪]

Those clowns don't give up easy.

All right, let's head for that tree.

C'mon! Hurry!

You think they've given up?

It looks that way.

Yeah. They're headed due west.

Here. C'mon. According to the map,

the only structure in that direction

is the abandoned observatory.

That's gotta be Marcus' headquarters.

PAIGE: Well, we move in the morning.

You better get some rest.

I just can't get the image of our plane out of my mind.

Yeah.

I can't either.

Oh, boy. I just... really got cold.

Ah! Me too.

Can you hear my teeth chattering?

Hey, Tannehill.

I know I'm not that handy a guy

to have on a killer mission.

But I do have some body heat to offer.

I'm too cold to argue.

Ah.

Now, Chenault, you're not gonna take

any of this personally, are you?

No, sir, just an impersonal sharing of BTU's.

That's all. I mean, after all,

we're two not entirely unattractive members

of the opposite sex.

Well, son of a gun.

You're a woman. Huh.

You know what I mean.

Yes, Tannehill. I know what you mean.

Y'know, I feel funny sharing my body heat

with somebody I'm calling by their last name.

Oh, I think it's better that way.

My first name's Jack.

I'm aware of that.

Mine's Paige.

P-A-G-E?

P-A-I-G-E.

It's a great name.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Thanks.

So, Paige...

I don't know.

Kinda sounds funny.

I think I'm used to calling you Tannehill.

Suit yourself, Chenault.

See? You got the same problem.

Maybe we're just not meant to be

on a first-name-basis relationship.

Yeah, um...

Well, I got warm.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I'll take the first watch, Jack.

And... and you can get some rest.

Okay?

You just called me Jack.

It's a mistake.

Um... get some rest.

Whatever you say, Paige.

Yup. That's it.

That's what?

I'll lay odds there's a linear cyclotron in there

of some kind.

Okay. Let's... go do what we came to do.

Okay.

Let's go do what we came to do.

Ah, yes, sir.

Jeeps.

Doesn't look so abandoned, does it?

Great.

I don't suppose you happen to have a blowtorch handy?

Here. No, thank you.

Come on. Chew.

Oh.

Axle grease and curry.

No curry.

Let me have it.

Mm?

Mm.

JACK: A hairpin?

Okay, come here.

That's great!

You should market that stuff.

Shh. C'mon.

Kids'd have a great time...

blowing up their schools.

If we get caught trespassing,

we could be in a lot of trouble.

Come on.

It's unbelievable.

See, the cyclotronic booster

has to be inside that chamber there.

Wait a minute.

Wait. I gotta see this...

Holy Toledo!

PAIGE: What is it?

JACK: The business end of a linear cyclotron.

See, the cosmic rays shoot out of there.

And... and those reflectors

are angled to get maximum refraction

to increase the thrust and the speed of the rays.

It's absolutely incredible.

Let's go.

I'd hate to be in here when that thing was turned on.

PAIGE: C'mon.

RUDY: Hold it right there.

Oops! Uh-oh!

You don't mess around, do you?

Glad you're on my side.

VALORIUM: Chenault...

Although I share your admiration

for the young lady's ingenuity, you are trespassing.

Hands up, both of you.

VALORIUM: Rudy, be good enough

to bring our guests to the control room.

JACK: What an incredible invention.

Marcus Valorium's one of the greatest minds

in the world, Paige. You see...

PAIGE: Look, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait.

Before you give him the Nobel Prize,

just remember... RUDY: Keep moving.

Charlie?

I'm sorry.

I'm helpless. They've got Susan.

The X-two's no bigger than a breadbox.

Well...

VALORIUM: That's far enough, Chenault.

I've seen this clever young lady once before.

However, would you be good enough

to introduce us officially?

Yes. Paige Tannehill, Marcus Valorium.

I'm delighted to meet you, Miss Tannehill.

I wish I could say the same thing.

Don't be so feisty.

She gets overexcited in... new places like this.

You know how it is.

VALORIUM: Of course, of course.

I was certain it would occur to you

to compute a triangulation.

I was also certain that a K-twelve agent

would accompany you.

But I'm not an easy man to terminate, Miss Tannehill.

By the way, why didn't you radio

the coordinates of my installation?

Because we didn't want to kill any innocent people.

Dr. Webster and his daughter?

PAIGE: Yes.

VALORIUM: You are concerned over two lives?

That's right, Marcus.

A remarkable sense of priorities.

Especially as now that you are both my guests,

there is absolutely nothing that can prevent

thousands of people from drowning

within a very few hours.

Why? What are you planning to do?

I'm going to reduce

the molecular structure of the Hoover Dam.

After the Hoover Dam,

I shall reduce in rapid succession

the Grand Coulee and John Day Dams

and the nuclear power plants

at Diablo Canyon and Indian Point.

Marcus, you are plunging

the entire country into chaos.

Why?

This is where I make my move.

I wouldn't if I were you.

Marcus has quite a nasty little missile capability

in that wheelchair of his.

You know, this isn't gonna work, Valorium.

Will you stop that?

Marcus, once you destroy Hoover Dam,

what do you plan to do then?

What interests me is what I'm going to do now.

And what I'm going to do now is to play a game.

A game of cat and canary with an old adversary.

Now, Chenault, a pace to your right, please.

Well, Miss Tannehill, isn't it amusing

that you came here to terminate me?

I don't think it's amusing.

Rudy, would you be good enough

to outfit Miss Tannehill for her role as the canary?

Marcus, she better be all right.

VALORIUM: Don't worry, Chenault.

She's safe and sound.

In fact, you can speak with her in a few seconds.

Klaus, the earphones, please.

Now, take a look at my game board.

That is the plan of the entire maze.

Complicated, isn't it?

Switch on, please, Greta.

And now, for the canary.

Switch on the canary, please.

Those two lights are for the players.

Rudy, switch on, please.

These are my ground rules.

I will maneuver my cats,

and you will maneuver your canary to a position

which will allow one of them to eliminate the other.

Now, wait, wait a minute.

What are those lights?

Those lights are for my cats.

I control them.

The yellow light is your canary.

Chenault, you are the only man

who ever defeated me in a game.

I'm now going to even that ancient score

and I'm going to defeat you in a game.

If you lose, and the cats get the canary...

well, you know what cats do to a canary.

So much for Miss Tannehill.

So much for you.

And if I win? Miss Tannehill goes free.

But then, you shouldn't concern yourself with that.

You won't win.

Rudy, turn left and then right.

Greta, second turn to your left.

Paige, listen to me.

Rudy and Greta have some kind of electrical device on them

and so do you.

Now, I'm directing you through the maze

and Valorium's directing them.

Paige, listen to me.

If they catch you, they're gonna kill you.

So, do exactly what I tell you.

Want you to take the first move to your left.

Now.

Fifteen minutes, Mr. Valorium.

It won't take that long.

Greta, stay where you are.

Rudy, turn to your left.

Then, to your right.

Better be careful, Chenault.

You're taking too long over your move.

I want you to back up about a half a dozen steps

and take the turn on your left.

Greta, take the second to your left,

and then wait.

Watch out your canary doesn't get boxed in.

You've got about four seconds

to move across the passage on your right.

Now, move.

All right, all right.

Yeah, he's about 30 feet in front of you

at the end of the passage.

Now, go in the opposite direction

and take the second turn on your right.

Good. Hold it right there.

Just wait 'til I find out what he's gonna do.

And you didn't want a nice office job.

You disappoint me

with your lack of ingenuity, Chenault.

They haven't caught her yet, Marcus.

The cat always gets the canary.

Rudy, cut across to the second on your right.

Greta, to your right.

Rudy, straight ahead.

I think about...

thirty seconds should do it.

Wouldn't you say so, Chenault?

Paige, they're closing in on you.

We're gonna have to get sneaky.

Take off your transmitter.

Put it on the ground right where you are.

Now move into the second passageway behind you.

On your left.

Rudy, she's stopped.

When you come around the next corner,

she will be five feet ahead of you.

Kill her.

JACK: Now.

Switch off your transmitter.

And stay right where you are.

Greta, I'm sorry.

The game is over.

Rudy caught the canary.

Please help him with it.

Take the turn on your left.

Paige, she's coming from your left.

As soon as you've taken care of her,

go find Webster's daughter and stay with her.

You've got two seconds.

Well, Brunhilde, it's like this.

When the cat's away...

The game is over, Chenault.

And you lost.

How did it feel?

Not so good, Marcus.

Oh, come now, Chenault.

Don't sulk. You're a scientist.

You should accept defeat gracefully.

You should be filled with anticipation

at the scientific wonders that you are about to see.

Twelve minutes, ladies and gentlemen.

Klaus, commence procedure, please.

Twelve minutes, Chenault, the United States of America

will begin a bright new day in their history.

Chaos will replace incompetence.

And order will replace chaos.

There will be an end of near wars.

An end of decadence and apathy

caused by a foolish faith in democracy.

An end of governmental confusion and bureaucratic bloat

caused by the destructive notion of freedom of expression.

The gifted few governed by the masses?

Untidy, Chenault, very untidy.

This country could be a great nation.

But not anymore.

Marcus, from time in memorial,

men like you who...

who don't believe in their fellow man,

have fallen from greater heights.

Dr. Webster, come here.

This country is like a great wounded beast, Doctor.

Should we not help her out of her misery?

PAIGE: C'mon, Chenault.

Please. We've gotta help my father.

We will, Susan, we will.

VALORIUM: Not since Rome

has a nation fallen so far and so swiftly.

The power plants will only be the initial step.

Have you got the computer locked

onto the satellite, Doctor?

Tracking now.

Eight minutes.

At six minutes and 30 seconds, reset.

After the power plants, the New York Stock Exchange,

the Chicago Commodities Exchange,

the Federal Reserve Bank,

the gold reserves at Fort Knox,

the White House, the Capitol,

the State Department, the Pentagon...

Reset.

You see, Chenault, in times of crisis,

the truly good men always emerge.

The men with...

with vision, with strength.

The new managers of a new nation.

A nation that will be structured and organized

with the utmost efficiency.

It will be wonderful.

Reset, Mr. Valorium.

Tracking... on course.

VALORIUM: Lock in the computer.

Okay, Paige, where are you?

In five more minutes,

there will be absolutely nothing more that they can do.

Susan! Where is she?

Come on, Charlie. This way.

VALORIUM: Klaus, open up, please.

A new world structure is about to begin.

[BEEPS]

They've gotta be in here.

Come on.

Oh, Dad. Oh, thank God.

We gotta hurry. PAIGE: Let's go.

Chenault, where are you going?

JACK: Just hurry.

Come on.

PAIGE: Chenault, will you tell me what you're doing?

I've only got three minutes to stop Valorium.

All right.

Paige, I have to get over there.

You have any ideas?

Activate cyclotronic booster.

Go back and pick up the slack.

What is he doing?

WEBSTER: I set the refraction bend back to a hundred percent.

Jack's aligning the laser to my new setting.

[ALARM SOUNDING]

PAIGE: Come on. You're doing fine.

That's it.

Come on. Come on.

That's it.

Get his foot.

Hang on. Here.

Give me your hand. Your hand!

Okay.

Hang on.

Okay.

Get his foot.

Okay. Hang on.

Hang on.

Okay.

Good... hold it.

Paige, I'd consider it a hell of a personal favor

if you didn't tell the Lady I did that...

The jeeps. Come on.

Come on. Let's go. WEBSTER: All right.

Chenault, will you answer me?

What did you do?

I lined up the laser for a hundred percent

refraction bend back.

JACK: This far enough, Charlie?

WEBSTER: Yes.

Okay.

Exactly what is 100 percent refractionary bend back?

It means he's gonna get himself refracted.

Refracted?

Refracted.

What Jack means is the beam from the projector

will reflect straight back off the object satellite.

So that instead of Hoover Dam...

Marcus Valorium's gonna get himself refracted.

In exactly...

KLAUS: Fifteen...

fourteen...

thirteen...

twelve...

eleven...

ten...

nine...

eight...

seven...

six...

five...

four...

three...

two...

one...

[LASER BLASTS]

JACK: "A little kingdom I possess

where thoughts and feelings dwell,

and very hard the task I find of governing it well."

Good luck, Marcus.

[CHILDREN SCREAMING]

I am very impressed.

Exceedingly well done.

Both.

Thank you.

The two of you certainly make a very effective team.

Ah, now, wait a minute. Hold on.

Now, I got shot at, I almost got shrunk,

nearly killed myself falling out of an airplane,

damn near froze to death.

Lady, I could go on forever.

But there's nothing on this earth

that could get me out in the field again.

Ma'am...

Good-bye, Chenault.

Good-bye, Lady.

Who said, "A little kingdom I possess..."

Louisa May Alcott.

Seriously?

Seriously.

If she thinks I'm going out in the field again,

she's got another thing coming.

I mean, that's for K-twelve's.

You guys enjoy that kind of intrigue and mayhem.

Yeah, but you handled it like a veteran.

Mm, I'm trying to protect my winnings.

Winnings?

I was in competition with Valorium.

Remember? Uh-huh.

I did win the grand prize.

Me?

You're not answering me.

I forgot the question.

No, you didn't.

Isn't this where we go out?

Mm-hmm.

What's happening? I bribed the attendant.

What for?

If I have to explain that,

then I think I wasted my money.

[♪♪♪]