All language subtitles for Minder s07e01 An Officer and a Car Salesman

Have your VOs ready for the officer,
please.

Show your bags to the officer.

Too late, am I? No, we'll let almost
anyone in.

Get it out again, you won't want to
worry about it.

It'd be so good for you to love me like
you want me to.

It'd be so good for you to love me like
you want me.

Terry, my son, you do look well. What
are you doing here?

Is that all you've got to say to me
after me making the effort? Where's

Dave? I sent Dave a V .O. Where is he?

He was indisposed, so I thought I'd take
him. Don't do this, Terry, please.

Remember where we are.

We?

We are... where I am.

Yes.

You're in prison, Terry.

That's right.

I'm in prison.

And why am I in prison?

Because you got captured, convicted and
sent here. Correct.

I got captured, convicted and sent here
at the direct result of my involvement

with you.

I thought you'd be pleased to see me.

You wound me, Terry, you know.

After all the time and money I spent on
getting you the best possible defence.

You've got a gross incompetent who was
totally elephants throughout the whole

bleeding trial.

Incompetent? Trump?

Tubbs Larder?

He's probably the best bent brief on the
circuit.

Well, how could you?

Tubbs Larder, barrister at law. It's a
joke, isn't it?

You all right for cigarettes?

I don't smoke.

Steve, you're crazy! Steve, you're
crazy!

Well,

gentlemen and ladies, welcome to our
executive survival course.

I'm Lieutenant Mills, and over the next
few days, your chief instructor will be

Captain Williams here.

Any questions, ask Sergeant Dixon and
any of the other men.

Now then, stand to attention, will you?
Your commanding officer.

Colonel Cutler.

Attention!

Tell him to stand at ease, please.

Stand at ease.

Stand at ease.

Now, men, you know why your employers
have sent you here.

It is because you are officers of
material.

You have those qualities that Britain
needs to make us strong again, as she

during the Empire.

In those days, we knew how to give the
orders.

And we knew how to obey them, too. Oh,
yes.

And that's what we're going to teach
you.

When you go back to your offices next
week, you'll be fighting fit.

Your country needs you.

And you'll be ready to make this great
country of ours greater still.

Now listen, I'm going to say this once
and for all. I came here today to do you

a very special favour.

God knows anything you have to say for
Jeff's proposal or for me in any stage

style. Will you shut up? Even a seat on
the board.

You're not listening.

I'm not listening. Yeah, I said you
wasn't.

It's all right, it's all right. You're
probably a bit excited, tense.

It'll be a gate fever, I expect.

It's more like deja vu.

DJ who?

Now, listen, you haven't been messing up
your mind reading books while you've

been resting in here, have you?

Goodbye, Arthur.

Hold on, Terry.

Listen, I am expanding. I am building up
a business empire.

Exporting avarice beyond the dream of
riches, Terry.

You could be an executive.

Hello. How's the housekeeping going?

Still playing soldiers, Roger.

One does not assume, Angie, that the
female mind can understand the harsher

realities of society's need.

Go on.

What's it all about, Alfie?

Haven't you done that yet?

Oh, that'll be our benevolent employer.

I've got some good news for him.

Cap plans to try to expand his order.

For what items?

No doubt Arthur will let you know.

By the way, do you think you could find
us a reliable handyman?

I'll see what I can do.

Morning, Roger.

Good morning, Mr. Derry.

Morning, Angie. Morning, sir.

Oh, sorry.

Thank you.

Oh, Mr. Catlin seems well chuffed with
the bits and bobs we let him have.

Oh, yes, I told him that with your
connections you could probably do him a

better deal than you get with these mail
-order people.

Oh, definitely, definitely.

In what size of order do you think he
has in mind? Oh, quite considerable.

The Colonel intends to expand his
survivalist movement nationwide.

Nationwide? Yes, he plans to amalgamate
with similar groups already operating.

Does he now?

Of course, he would like to see samples
and to discuss it with you.

Oh, yes, yes, of course, of course. That
goes without.

I don't suppose you happen to have a
list of specific items?

Oh, you do.

I do like to see efficiency among
personnel, Roger.

So does the Colonel.

Oh, my goodness.

Well, I think I'd better do a little bit
of swatting up, eh? And then perhaps

you can arrange a meet.

Certainly.

Thank you, Roger.

Good morning, Mr. Chisholm, sir.

What are you doing, Bindle?

Well, I'm raising the barrier, sir, so
that you can enter.

Without first checking my credentials.

Yeah, but I can see where you are, sir.

You never heard of impostors, Bindle.

Lookalikes, plastic surgery,

doppelganger.

I could be anybody.

May I see your credentials, please, sir?

Thank you.

You mind stepping out of the car a
moment, please, sir?

What? Well, I've got to run this through
with the chief security officer.

I am the chief security officer, you
cretin.

Yeah, but you might also be an imposter,
sir.

Mr Chisholm, everything under control.

You can rely on me, sir.

Millie.

Good morning, sir.

Morning.

Ah,

there you are, sir.

Dix, what are you doing in my office?

Actually looking for you, sir.

Briefing on the MD?

How did you get in?

Door was unlocked.

You must have forgotten to secure it,
sir.

Well, what is it?

I wanted to check the duty rotor with
you, sir.

See, I have leave you.

I haven't had time to work on that yet.

If you don't mind, I am rather busy.

On my way, sir.

Well, let's have it right, Arthur. You
can hardly blame him for blaming you if

you think about it.

That's all history, Dave. A tragic twist
of fate that I had no control over at

the time.

I did warn you when you talked me into
letting you visit in order. I've tried

feed a boy God knows I've tried since he
was tucked up.

Written to him endlessly.

Twice, to be precise.

Begging him, let me visit.

Clear the air, settle any
misunderstandings. What is there to

his point of view?

You stashed a load of bent videos in his
flat.

Without telling him.

Small correction, Dave.

A flat that belonged to me, that I let
Terry live in, practically rent -free.

lived there, Arthur. It was his home. I
mean, that's the point. All right, all

right. You blame me and all.

Have I not suffered enough?

Have I not endured endless, sleepless
nights of concern?

If you prick me, do I not spill claret?

Don't come, all right. And is it my
fault the robbery squad raided the wrong

flat looking for someone else?

Any suffering that's been done has been
done by tell in a nick.

Brick walls do not a shovel make, nor
iron bars a cage.

I have been a prisoner of conscience.

Of course you have, Arthur.

Of course you have.

An investigation of this kind, sir, it
does take time.

But you've both been on this for six
weeks.

Yes, sir. And we now know that over a
million and a half of these

pills have been manufactured and
imported from Panama.

A million and a half?

Made from tabioca and starch, actually.

Quite harmless from a toxic point of
view.

Harmless? Good grief, man.

Imitation contraceptive pills?

Have you any idea how many women are
pregnant as a result of this diabolical

fraud? Not exactly, sir.

But fortunately, the main bulk of the
consignment was recovered once it was

discovered what was going on. But you
haven't discovered what was going on.

Well, that is not strictly correct, sir.
We have managed to glean the name of

the company that supplied the effective
pills.

Did you?

Global Worldwide Products, sir.

Some sort of wholesale import and export
outfit.

Well, all you've got to do is get down
to company's house and trace the damn

thing. As soon as you've got the name of
the directors, we've cracked it.

Thought of that, sir.

Too late today, and unfortunately it
won't be open again until Monday.

I'll be on it first thing, sir. Well, at
least that's something positive, isn't

it? We do what we can, sir.

Dave!

mate. Hey, you're looking good.

Well, I feel good now.

I've got the clobber you left at your
old flat stashed at my place.

Well, it shouldn't fill up more than a
small cupboard, should it?

Oh, listen, what about my TV and the hi
-fi and the records and all that?

I've got the records that Arthur taught
the others to keep in protective

custody, you reckon?

Well, if he knocks them out, it's going
to be him who needs protective custody.

Me and some of the members, we've
organised a coming out party for you

Down the club. Okay.

Yeah, smashing.

Is he coming?

Well, he ain't been invited.

You know, Arthur.

Well, you said it yourself, sir. Given
the losses you sustained in the stock

market crash,

You need capital to recoup, to finance
your vision,

and to maintain the standards of the
survival school.

Now, all this needs positive action.

Nevertheless, what you're suggesting
needs a great deal of consideration and

meticulous organization.

Well, I see no problem there, sir, given
your inspired leadership, your unique

ability to plan a military operation of
this type.

I do try to fulfill the confidence you
and the rest of the men have in this

honor.

You see, the men who built houses like
this knew what it took to make this

country great, sir.

It is my avowed intention to revive that
tradition.

To the winner of the spoils, sir.

If I do decide to proceed with this
mission, let me make it perfectly clear

is for the cause, nothing else.

Good grief, sir.

I hope you don't think I was implying
anything.

Very well.

In principle, I'm for it.

I'll need precise details, of course.

Times, route, security, etc.

In the meantime, I'll start preparing a
team and organizing equipment.

You should have let me get you a flat,
sir. I could have rented you something.

No, no, no, no. No charity, remember?

I'll pay me own way. All right, Dave?
All right.

It ain't the Ritz.

It is to me, mate.

I've stuck the telly in here in case you
want a bit of privacy.

Dynamite. Cheers.

Well, you've got the run of the place,
you know that.

I'll leave you to it, then.

Oh, Dave?

Thanks a lot, mate.

No problem.

I've never seen so many birds in a
winter's day. That's good, you're here.

Oh, here we go.

What?

My boy.

The return of the prodigal.

What more can I say?

How about goodbye?

Same old Terry, still likes a little
joke.

For you and you alone, my son.

A modest, albeit expensive, token to
celebrate your own coming and our long

enduring friendship.

You don't know the meaning of the word
clear off.

Look, come on, don't spoil the party,
you two. Harsh and cruel, Terence, harsh

and cruel.

Based on a gross misrepresentation of
the known facts.

Tell him, Dave, tell him I've suffered.

Now, you've suffered.

During his unfair and unjust
incarceration.

Well off. Listen, either you walk out or
I fling you out.

Turn it in, Till.

Look, washing a whoopee could put you
straight back in the boob.

Whoopee? Well off old person.

Alfie is right, Till. GBH on a whoopee
ain't viewed with sympathetically of the

orders of justice.

Well, even if it's justified.

You just remember who employs you.

Do you work for this?

Well, I've got to earn a crust, ain't I,
Till?

Look, either he goes or I do. All right,
Terry, all right, all right. I

understand the pressure you must be
under.

Adjusting back into abnormal society is
not easy when you've been tucked up for

a bit.

A period of personal paranoia is not
uncommon in cases like this.

Bearing that in mind, I will take my
leave.

Good. A friend in need is a pest, right?

Just go, will you?

I will keep this refrigerated until you
can accept it with the same goodwill and

grace with which it was offered.

Oi, oi.

What about the sound system and the TV
of mine that you nicked?

Oh, you mean the items I've been
lovingly protecting and stored in my

awaiting your release?

Alfie, I'll give you the address.

Well, come on in, cheer up. Is this a
Moriarty or what?

Oh, Butcher, is Arthur Daly about?

I'm afraid he's not at the moment.

I'm the sales manager. Can I be of
assistance?

No, I don't think so, no.

Well, I'll just hang about if that's all
right.

Oh, well, I'm not sure if... Arthur
wants to be shipped out as soon as

Oh, right. Is he in?

Who? Arthur.

Oh, I'm an old acquaintance, Terry
McCann.

Also a friend of Alfred's, right?

Yeah, that's... Oh, you must be Angie.

One and the same.

Follow me.

Oh, look, Rob.

There's no guarantee when Arthur will
show up, but you're welcome to wait at

office with me if you want. Thank you.

And you.

Coffee?

No, thanks. Not for very long.

Alfie told me about you.

You've just come out of prison, haven't
you?

Yeah. Yeah, that's right, yeah.

Coming to work here?

For Arthur? You're kidding. No way, no.

You've got a job, then?

Well, I haven't at the moment, no.

You're daring.

Oh, sorry.

Takes a bit of getting used to, you
know.

I'll try to adjust then.

No, no, no. I mean, me talking to a
woman.

Sorry, it's my fault.

Er...

If you need a job, I know something that
might interest you.

Well, yeah, I've got to do something.
What is it?

General Handyman part -time chauffeur to
a bloke who's got a big estate near

here. He's got a business playing war
games.

War games?

Yeah, you know, survivalists.

Playing soldiers.

Oh, I see.

Retired army, is he?

No, I don't think so.

Used to have a chain of grocery shops.

Yeah, but he's not going to be
interested in someone with my form, is

Terry! Oh, this is a surprise.

Hello? I knew you'd see reason once
you'd come. Don't start. I've just come

collect my deal, all right? I'm not
starting. Excuse us a minute. Let me

out that Angie is not only my private
secretary, but also a witness if you're

contemplating anything physical. Now,
listen, what do I have to do to convince

you that I do not want to be laced up or
under any obligation to you ever again?

Terry, no man is a continent.

Eh? We all need helping hand through
this veil of tears.

The sort of friendship we had over the
years was a rare and precious commodity.

Not something to be forfeited just
because of a small error of judgement on

part.

Now, that is a fleeting rarity, you
actually admitting that something's your

fault. I know, I know. There are some
who cannot see my imperfections.

But I must admit I have, from time to
time, made the odd mistake.

Odd mistake?

Terry, can I be totally honest with you?

Well, there's another first. I don't
think I can stand a shock. The truth is,

and I mean this, I mean this,
friendship, guilt, the wish for you to

all that to one side.

I need you.

I need you because you are the only
person on this planet that I can really

truly trust.

Now, don't do this. What?

This.

What's this?

What you're doing.

What am I doing?

That. What is that?

That's what you're doing. Look, could we
start this conversation again?

What you are doing.

It's what you've always done to me since
the first day we ever met. You tried to

manipulate me. Oh, manipulate?

Oh, that's nice. That's nice. I suppose
I manipulated you when I gave you a roof

over your head. Gave? When I gave you a
car. God knows how many jobs so you

could earn a decent, dignified living.
Oh, yeah, you call that living? No.

What I lobbed in your direction was the
deep satisfaction of dignified self

-interest.

Yeah, all right, all right.

So it wasn't always one -way traffic?

No, something to be treasured, my son,
something to be appreciated.

Oh, yeah, I really appreciated 18 moons
in a shovel, didn't I?

Now, what do I have to do to get this
through to you?

I am not ever coming back.

Not today, not tomorrow, never.

So ask yourself, Tell. What are you
going to do if you don't work for

Well... A bit of bouncing, a bit of
minding, I don't know.

Yeah, well, that's feasible.

But, look, don't mind me saying so,
mate, but ain't it getting a bit long in

Amsterdam for that sort of thing? I
mean, punching people about and all

I can still handle meself, but think
yourself.

You can stay with us as long as you
like, you know that. But what you want

place of your own and a motor, right?

Well, think how long it's going to take
you to get them two things alone from

what you're going to earn out of
minding.

Yeah, well, this bird who works at
Arthur's... Angie, she mentioned

about a job.

Doing what?

Well, General Andy Manor, a big estate.

Oh, did she offer to write you a
reference and all, did she?

No, no.

I thought we'd give it a try, though.

Sergeant Dixon's here, sir.

Thank you, Captain William. Send him in.
And we'll have to leave in ten minutes

if we're to rendezvous with the trainees
on time. This won't take long.

Ah, Dixon, situation report.

I managed to have a look in the
operations book, sir.

There is definitely a shipment within
the next fortnight.

Unfortunately, no precise date.

And knowing Chisholm, he won't tell me
till the last minute.

Time enough for us to activate the
mission?

If we are prepared, almost certainly.

We'll be prepared.

I'll plan it to the last detail.

Now, the interesting thing about global
worldwide products is not that it has

ceased trading, or that it's more likely
had a change of name or premises, but

that one of the names listed after the
director is very intriguing.

Well? Well, what, Gavin?

Well, why is it intriguing?

Because of who I think it is. Well, who
do you think it is?

T .J. McCann.

Terence John, I would say.

Terry McCann?

Criminal associate of Arthur bloody
Daly.

Does have an inevitable logic to it,
doesn't it? Straight back inside for

then. Not quite that. What do you mean,
not quite? Well, it still leaves the

small problem of proof.

Now, I'm sure you don't want to make the
same mistakes as Charlie Chisholm did

in his dealings with the bold Arthur.

Oversellers to the point of obsessional
paranoia, I think the inquiry board

called it.

You're right, Jones, for once.

We must be very careful on this one.

Why, that would be the royal we, would
it? As I recall, Cheerful Charlie was

investigating daily concerning phony
Lacoste swappers and imitation Cartier

watches. Aye.

Well, that's it, then.

Can't repeat goods.

Matter of fact, I thought of that and
checked the files.

You did?

Nothing, I'm afraid.

Cheerful Charlie must have taken them
out or destroyed them when he resigned.

Ah.

No reason why we're going to go and ask
him, I suppose.

Any details you can remember, like?

That is all right.

Of course.

It would mean to persuade him you'd have
to be married from a treatment.

Well, yes, you'd have to call him Albert
for a start.

Ah! Oh, sorry to startle you, Mr Daly.

Interested in books, are you?

Yes, yes, I do have a passing interest
in good literature.

Agatha Christie, Harold Robbins, that
sort of thing.

Very impressive, if you don't mind my
saying so.

Yes, thank you.

Have you read Kipling, Mr Daly?

Not read it as such, but I did see the
film.

Always brings a tear to my eye when that
old bear snuffs it.

He had the right idea, you see.

If you can keep your head when all about
you are losing theirs... You'll be on a

nice little earner in the end, my son.

My favourite poem.

Anticipation. Preparation, survival, Mr.
Daly. Oh, absolutely, definitely.

The only way.

That is our philosophy here, you see. A
-P -S.

Only those who are prepared and fit to
survive do survive in these troubled

times. Isn't that right, Captain
Williams?

Anticipation, preparation, survival,
sir. Good man.

Precisely what I was saying to her
indoors the other day when she was

about unemployment.

Sir, what have you brought back?

A few samples of the wherewithal for
complete and utter survival, Mr. Kaplan.

Oh, sorry, Colonel, sir.

as selected by me and my staff.

Gas mask, personal radio, DIY anti -germ
warfare kit,

radiation detectors, and all reputable
goods, as you can see by the

manufacturer's labels.

British, of course.

Uh, except where, through superior
technology, I had to turn reluctantly to

Taiwan. Good man, Shankashek.

Outnumbered, that's all. And you have my
personal guarantee as to the efficiency

of said items.

That would be of little value should any
of these items fail in a post -attack

situation. No, no, no, no. You just
bring them back to the warehouse and

change them. I'll give you your money
back.

Oh, after the dust has settled, so to
speak.

I can't believe now you're doing here.

What's the point? What are you doing
here, Terence?

I work here.

Oh, yeah, my ma 'am Roger did say
something about you doing something

the Colonel.

And I hope you haven't tried to put a
kibosh on it by telling him about my

because if you have, Sunshine, I promise
you... No, no, no, Terence. If you want

to revert to being a peasant, that is
your business.

My business, it has a wholesaler of
goods various.

Good. A very lucrative business it is,
too.

Good. And, but for your surf -like
mentality, you could be in on my company

profit -sharing scheme.

Que sera, sera.

Hey, what size boots do you take?

Hey, tread on that, will you?

If you could just wait a moment, please,
sir.

You see, for all I know, you could be a
doppelganger.

Doppel -what?

Wasn't that in Jobs' work?

One of Charlie's finest.

Yeah? Yes, sir, I've got a Detective
Sergeant Raycott and a Detective

Jones here.

In these ways, that's who they're
claiming to be.

They showed you their credentials,
didn't they? Oh, yes, sir, but I am

of your lecture to the men on forged
IDs.

I am expecting them, Bindle.

And your warning about intelligence
leaks.

Let them in, Bindle. Direct them to
reception.

I don't know if I should, sir.

One of them looks like he might have had
plastic surgery.

Sorry about that little
misunderstanding, Ronald.

I run a tight ship here.

My men are trained to be extra vigilant.

Yes, that's obvious, Albert.

Must be very gratifying.

Going up, are we?

Is there any other way to go?

Of course, another advantage of this job
is not having to suffer idiot brass

interfering with one's work.

Ah, there you are.

Busy, are you?

This is Detective Sergeant Rycos and his
colleague D .C. Jones. I've come to ask

my expert advice on a security matter,
sir.

You used to work with Charlie, see?

Albert Jones?

Albert? Well, as soon as you've
finished, I'd like to discuss the

you arranged at yesterday's Gatwick
operation.

I am running a business here.

The long -suffering taxpayer doesn't
foot my bills.

I can see what you mean now, Albert.

No interference.

Must be a big responsibility.

I think I can safely say it carries more
responsibility than chasing after low

-life villains.

Taff.

As soon as I know, you'll know.

Just make sure you keep him warm.

Okay, fine.

Overseas call.

Ah.

Don't think there's much call for
quality control on items from Korea.

What were you saying?

Well, basically, I just wanted to tell
you how much I appreciate you pointing

in the direction of that job, you know,
and I just wondered if, by way of a

thank you, that, well, if I could take
you up for dinner one night.

Do you know what I like about you,
Terry?

You have unfashionable attitudes.

Is that a yes?

Well, that's all very interesting,
Ronnie, but, frankly, I've no further

interest in the sordid activities of
Daly and McCann.

I'm afraid, with the responsibilities I
have now, my time has taken up with far

more important issues.

Yeah. I only wanted to know what you
found out about their counterfeit

activities, Albert.

As an old colleague, that's not very
much to ask, is it?

You're the detective, Ronnie.

I've joined the ranks of private
enterprise.

It's still an offence for civilians to
impede police officers in their duty.

Isn't it, Gav?

Oh,

just his Baptist upbringing, Albert. You
remember.

Nevertheless, I can't help I'm afraid.

Call it a memory loss for trivia. Sorry,
Ronnie, but there it is.

In that case, it's my sad duty to arrest
you.

for obstructing officers of the law in
the course of their duty, Albert.

Anything you say may be taken down.

Arrest me.

Arrest me.

Unless your memory suddenly improves,
Charlie.

This is some tool, isn't it?

Where did Arthur pick this up?

Oh, an army service done.

You should have seen it when he got hold
of it. What a wreck.

But now, through my expert attention,
I'm going to knock it out to this mug

you're after for ten times what it
stands in. I do not like my clients

to as mugs.

Yeah, especially in public.

I understand from Angie you come to
collect and deliver. Yeah, that's right.

I will be accompanying you. No, you
won't. Yes, I will. This vehicle is my

property until Kaplan coughs up the
reddies for saying. And since you are an

idiot employee, and not mine, you are
not insured to drive it. I'm not

Unless you wish to reconsider.

Your career prospects and return to the
fold?

I'd rather have molten lead poured in my
ear.

Nice. And since when have you ever
worried about insurance? Listen, you

me up in a roller, so I'll have
transport back. I just want to load some

onto this.

Terry, bring Mr Catman's radios.

I think the time has come to have an
oboe at the Daly's warehouse and see

coming and going.

That's what we were having the rest of
the day after.

Being a police officer's a 24 -hour -a
-day occupation, Jones.

Villains don't work to a timetable.

They do if they're planning a train
robbery.

Who is all this stuff?

Survival clubber. Combat boots,
rucksacks, sleeping bag.

Quite a little action man, isn't he?

He simply wants to be prepared for when
the east wind blows hot. Very hot.

News to say he hasn't got a point.

Yeah, on the top of his head.

Do you see who that is, in that thing?

Aye. Well, go on, then.

Sudden change of plan, is it, Gervin?

Come

on, chap,

double head.

Well done, chap, well done.

A model operation superbly executed.

Carry on, please.

Aye, aye, sir, chap.

Put out your weapons, then.

Pretty good show, eh, sir?

I'm worried about the lack of moral
fibre among these men, Lieutenant.

Don't worry, sir. We'll soon lick them
into shame.

Keep your eyes peeled for a clearing
with plenty of motors about.

I see you come in convoy, Mr. Daly. I
always like to give a personal service,

Colonel. Thought I'd give the APV a road
test before delivery.

Splendid. Is it all the spec?

All the what?

Is it all the specification?

Oh, definitely, definitely.

And completely loaded up with your order
down to the last item.

Jack boots, matching iron bags.

Better do, Terry. Open her back.

Walk this way, Colonel.

Combat boots with non -slip soles,
camouflage sleeping bags, and...

Bulletproof jackets.

Ah, excellent.

Let's have a look at them. Terry,
bulletproof jacket.

Here, put this on, Mr. Denny. Put it on?

Yes, that's tried out.

What, tried on for size, you mean?

You have faith in the products you sell
me, haven't you?

Oh, yes, yes.

Well, come on, then.

There's an ex -paratrooper who fought
behind enemy lines. It'll be like old

times.

Paratrooper? Well, we didn't wear these.
You know, we had travel light. We used

to be yomping all the time.

Hey, Terry, you try it on for the
colonel. No, no, no. He wants you to try

on.

Please the customer, remember?

Yeah, yeah, I'd recommend that. That's
very comfortable.

No, no, no. We must give it a proper
test.

It's a proper test. I'm sorry. I don't
quite follow you, colonel. Right bunch

diddlers, this lot.

Show him today the best place to stand.

Come on. About 20 paces should do it. Do
it? Do what?

Sorry, I don't... I don't... I don't
follow.

What are you doing?

After the mill?

Oi! Listen, you... What's this? Hold on!

Harry?

Oi!

Oh, God!

I just shot him!

You're all right.

Guy filled pellets. Quite harmless. Yes,
works very well.

Look, he ain't getting any younger, you
know. He could have had heart attack.

I don't think so.

Heart of a lion.

He'll heal me himself.

Come on, son, come on. My hat, my hat.
Get his hat, get his hat.

You're all right, you're all right. Can
you walk? Come on, come on. You're all

right.

What do you make of that, then?

Shut up.

I need time to think.

Enter!

The route I've decided on for Operation
Flintlock.

What do you think?

Very good, sir.

This is highly confidential, Dixon, but
I think it's time for you to know when

Operation Flintlock is actually taking
place.

Do you want to see me, Mr Catlin?

Yes, there's a box I want collected from
Mr Daly's warehouse. Be a good chap and

get it for me, will you?

What, now?

Yes, now.

Yeah, all right.

Just a moment, young man.

I want a word with you about your
disrespectful outburst yesterday.

Well, yeah, you see, I didn't realise
the gun wasn't real.

You should spit it. That's good.

In moderation.

I need men like you in my squad, McCann.

Oh, no, no. No, thanks. No, I'm not into
uniforms.

Think about it.

You could be one of the survivors.

Now, cut along.

Today? But it can't be. We're not ready.
I haven't... Yes.

Yes.

APS, Sergeant White.

Yes, I will.

I've sent McCann.

Yes.

Right, I'll do that.

And I'll leave the rest to you.

Right.

Williams, get in touch with the squad.

It's on for 1 ,700 hours. Today.

Sir.

You don't want a copy with it?

No.

Caffeine. I'll be too careful.

How's the old soldier there? Please,
Terry, no jokes.

I'm not a well man, thanks to your new
employer.

Did he tell you what he did?

He fainted.

I thought you said you were overwhelmed
by the force of the blow. It is over. I

do not wish to talk about it.

Do you have to give me your version?

Well, I will, yeah, over dinner.

I do not approve of carnal
suggestiveness between staff during

But I'm not one of your staff, am I?

I've come to collect a parcel for a
colonel.

Oh, yeah, it's down there with a
military clobber somewhere. Where's

Oh, he phoned to say he won't be in.

Damaged his trigger finger or something.

How about lunch?

Is there something I want to talk to you
about?

What, now you mean?

Sure. Why not?

Yeah, why not?

Just a minute, just a minute.

Right, men, settle down.

Mr. Coff will do so now.

We are here to discuss Operation
Flintlock.

He's gone to lunch.

Yes, sir, he's not a very reliable
employee. I didn't like to say so at the

time, sir.

Some urgency, is there?

Huh?

He's gone to lunch.

Don't worry, Colonel, there's still
time.

We'll get two of the men onto it.

Well, I'm sorry, I'm not quite with you.
Are you now saying that you don't work

for Arthur?

Well, yes, but... Look, Tony, I'm sorry
to lay this on you, but the fact is that

I'm a policewoman working undercover.

What?

Sorry.

Does Arthur know this?

Oh, don't be silly.

So why are you telling me that?

I was hoping to enlist your help.

Listen, you.

I may have fallen out with Arthur, but a
grass I'm not, all right? Now, my

bosses are after bigger fish.

Amazing, isn't it?

Well, at least listen to what I'm
proposing before you say no.

I've already said it.

We think that Kaplan and others might be
using our... I'm not interested.

Excuse me.

I just thought that now that you're
working for him... And that's why you

me up for the job, I suppose, is it?

Well, it wouldn't be that difficult for
someone with your background to get in

with Kaplan and... Excuse me, look, can
we have the bill over here, please?

This is about the only information I've
been able to collate so far.

Seems to be a bit of a lonely life.

Runs this survivalist movement.

Nothing illegal in that, though, from
what I can deduce.

Deduce?

If he's doing business with Daly, he has
got to be bent.

Organise a warrant, will you?

I think we'll take a look at Daly's
little empire.

Ah.

Hello, Arthur. I thought you'd be
pleased to see me.

Oh, what a surprise, seeing you here, Mr
Arcott.

Lovely, isn't he, Jones?

Can't help but admire his style, though,
can you?

Thanks. I am here... Don't tell me.
Looking for a bargain buy.

No. I'm looking for something to
confiscate.

Confiscate? In court, they would be
known as exhibits.

You are familiar with these, I know.
What is it, credit reference?

You know what I'm talking about.

I've been out of Nick for less than a
fortnight. I can well do without all

I'm trying to make it straight now. Do
you understand?

Yes, I do, Tim.

Good.

Unfortunately, my bosses might take a
less benevolent attitude.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you are heavily implicated in
Arthur's counterfeit operation.

Counterfeit? What are you talking about?

Oh, come off it. You're not that naive.
Most of the stuff in that warehouse is

bad quality rubbish pretending to be the
genuine article.

No, no, it's just look -alikes. Same as
you buy anywhere.

Punters know what they're getting. Oh,
no, they don't, until it's too late.

Arthur sells that stuff as the genuine
article, in bulk. I should know. I do

paperwork. Yeah, well, I don't know
anything about that.

That might be hard to explain to a jury.

Especially as you're one of the only two
officially registered directors of

global worldwide products.

Bloody Arthur.

They look good, Arthur.

Can't they?

Obvious replicas.

And sold, as such.

Perfectly above board.

Deliberate counterfeits, Arthur, and a
criminal offence.

What's in that, then, Arthur?

Nothing.

No, I don't know. It's something I'm
looking after for a regular customer.

Wouldn't be that so -called Colonel
Kaplan, would it?

Sure. Yeah, as a matter of fact.

Get something to open that with, Jones.

Eh?

That is private property, Mr. Rycock. I
cannot be responsible for you having

that open. Yeah, all right, Arthur,
yeah.

Well, get on with it, then.

Here is what they... You didn't waste
any time, did

you? I didn't?

Who are they?

Local plod, as if you didn't know.

The last thing we wanted them into doing
was screwing things up.

Look, say nothing. I'll sort it out
later.

It's through, I swear it.

Anyone can join in this conversation,
can they?

Terry, will you explain to Mr Raycott
how you came to the post? Just don't

start. I'm going to have proper words
with you.

What have I said?

Oh, dear, oh, dear, when thieves fall
out, eh, Jones?

Did you enjoy your little stay courtesy
of Her Majesty, McCann?

It seems you might be taking Arthur back
there with you.

Here, Gav, look at this.

Well, well.

What have we here?

That's her stuff for lighting barbecues,
isn't it?

And this?

That's plasticine.

Mr Kaplan does a lot of charity work for
deprived children, I understand.

This is a CS grenade.

Grenade? And this, if I'm not very much
mistaken, is plastic explosive complete

with detonators. No, look, right... Save
it, my friend!

You lot are in very serious trouble.

You and this Kaplan character.

No, no, no, you've got it all wrong. I
know nothing about this. Nothing.

I suppose you two know nothing either.

Of course we don't.

Pathetic, isn't it? I think you'll be
making a very serious mistake in jumping

to conclusions.

She's right. She's quite right. Colonel
Kaplan is entirely responsible for all

this. We are but mere prawns in a game.

I'm sure he will appreciate that when
you spend the next 10 to 15 years with

walking around the exercise yard.

10 to 15?

Call up the wagon and the bomb squad,
Jones.

I don't think so. Just stay where you
are.

I should warn you I'm a police officer.
Shut it.

And don't make the mistake of thinking
this is loaded with anything but real

ammunition.

Oh, God.

What next?

I've just been explaining to your men
what a terrible mistake they've made.

Right, get them inside.

Yes, but... Move it!

I'm not fooled by this display daily. I
know you were part of it. Please, this

is making me very claustrophobic.

You've done it again, haven't you?

You've done it again. Why do I stand for
this? Look, Terry, it's nothing to do

with me. I simply sold the man military
knick -knacks.

Clobber! You didn't tell me about the
counterfeiting. All right, shut up and

down there.

But this is a regular operation.

We've never used ten personnel.

Six have always been perfectly adequate.

With due respect, sir, you did hire me
for my considerable expertise and

knowledge in matters of security.

And if I may be permitted to remind you,
in these days of escalating terrorist

acts, a large consignment of gold on the
move is not something to be treated

lightly. I'm not treating it lightly.
I'm telling you how it's always worked.

Look, Mr Chisholm.

This company has built its reputation on
low -profile security.

Subtle, efficient, cost -effective.

Clear?

Translucent, sir.

Good. As a matter of fact, sir, I have
arranged a rather tight schedule, and if

I'm to rendezvous with my ASC as per...
Your what?

ASC, sir.

Aerial Surveillance Conveyance.

You've hired a plane?

Helicopter.

Absolutely essential in this type of
operation.

This is all a lark, Mr. Kaplan, isn't
it? One of your practical jokes.

Tell the sergeant.

He's noted for his sense of humor.

This is not a game.

And you will address me as colonel.

Yes, of course, colonel.

You have been useful to us lately.

Thank you.

But you've let us down. You were
unprepared, even for those two.

Absolutely crackers.

And you?

Where were you when you were supposed to
be carrying out my orders?

At lunch with a woman.

Our great country has come to this, full
of people who want lunch and women

instead of taking orders.

Well, we're going to change all that.

We're going to overcome your complacent,
contemptible society.

We're going to maintain our haven of
order and rule.

Well, we're with you all the way right
to the top of the hill, Big John.

Terry. I'm calling to follow you. What
we have here is a serious fruit in our

case.

Notes, Jones.

Why aren't you taking notes?

God, I'm a kidding. You think we're
playing soldiers, don't you?

Well, let me remind you that we are a
movement, a great movement.

Today we strike our first blow, and then
the movement will grow and grow under

my command, stronger and stronger, until
little people like you are swept aside.

We have anticipated.

We are prepared.

We will survive.

Colonel, I was wondering if it's not too
late to apply for membership, so to

speak. I've listened to what you were
saying. I find it very impressive. Very

impressive indeed.

Donation?

This is Canon One to Musket One.

I'm receiving the other.

Respond, please.

Canon One to Musket One. I receive...
Can you hear me or not?

Get on this crank, will you?

Musket One here.

Receiving you, Canon One. Bloody time.

And then all personnel will return to
HQ.

The code name for the operation is
Falcon.

Any questions?

Contraceptive pill. Nonsense.

Don't you come back into some routine
with me.

Tapioca and suet tablets, thousands of
them. Do you know how many unwanted

pregnancies you've caused? How dare you?

I'll have you know I believe in
monogamy.

I do not go around impregnating the
opposite.

Do you believe this?

We've been held hostage by a bunch of
lunatics.

And these two idiots are having a
discussion about family planning.

I was rather hoping we could pursue the
darker side of Arthur's sex life.

Sit up straight, don't you? Sit up.

Very well. You all know your duties.

It only remains for me to wish you good
luck and good hunting.

Anticipation. Preparation.

Survival.

Right. Collect your kit and be prepared
to move out.

Full camouflage procedure, remember?

You two go ahead.

Actually, sir, I was rather hoping to go
on this mission myself.

I'm sorry, Lieutenant. I need you here
to guard the prisoners and maintain

communications.

Of course, sir.

I've decided to take Daly along.

He'll be very useful.

You'd better take that down before
they're brought in here.

Right.

Visual on pickup point.

Visual on pickup point.

ETA two minutes.

Clearance. Beat.

Clearance.

What a burp.

Colonel, I can't go. We've got people
coming to dinner.

Her indoors is doing something special.

You spoil.

Unless I address you, you remain silent.

No profile security, sir.

Always the best.

If we could just pull over in order for
me to make a quick phone call.

Colonel?

Home base to Falcon. Repeating. Over.

Roger, roger.

Approaching junction.

E .T .A.

approximately.

What the... Base to Falcon, do you read
me?

Repeating no signal, Falcon, do you read
me? Over.

Looks like they've got the same trouble
as we have. No communication.

There'll be plenty of communication when
this lot's over. Down the neck.

What's the matter with you? This is
serious.

These nutters mean it.

We're not going to get out of here
unless we do something.

Oh, really? It's right there.

Pretty unstable lot, if you ask me. Why,
nobody did.

What do you suggest we do now?

Poke a finger down his revolver?

This is cannon one to musket one and
two. The way is clear.

The way is clear.

Move off.

Move off.

What's up, Rog?

Got the ump because you can't get
through to the Fuhrer?

You think it's all a game, don't you?

A joke?

I mean, let's own up. You're a bunch of
clowns, aren't you?

I think this is filled with die -filled
penance to you, you mouthy, pathetic ex

-con.

You ain't got the ball.

We'll see, shall we?

Now, just a moment, you...

Come on, let's get out of here.

Wait a minute.

Come on. We need a phone.

We'll find one on the way, will you? Get
out of here.

I hope you all appreciate my diversion
tactics.

Hey, wait a minute, McCann. You can't
just go... There's been a serious

committed here.

You're under arrest.

There's a bit of luck.

I'll drive.

All right.

I think now's the time to tell him,
don't you?

Tell me? Tell me what?

That you are seriously interfering with
an undercover Scotland Yard operation.

Got him.

And I'm assisting them with their
inquiries, right?

About the size of it, Sergeant.

Yeah.

Did you hear that, Jones?

Inconceivable.

What will they dream up next?

Well done, chav.

All right, Harper.

Right hand hard down.

Can I have a stop?

No.

All right, get him wired up as soon as
possible. Wired up?

Is she really with the yard?

Well, if she's not, Tess... I'm in very
deep med.

What is going on?

Knowles, you know what to do. Yes, sir.

What is happening? Why are you doing
this to me? Quiet, Daly. This is a

operation. Yeah, but... Quiet!

Help!

Go to your positions.

Colonel, will you please tell me what's
going on?

Colonel, I think I need to go somewhere.

Falcon to Falcon, over.

Falcon to Falcon, enemy in sight.

Falcon to Cuckoo, understood.

What's that?

I'm a ghost.

Die, bummer.

It's Danish.

Oh, the bloody Daly.

Um... Um... Um... Cannon one, two,
musket one.

Um... Abort, quiblock, repeat...

Take it down! Take it down!

Is it gov?

I don't know. Don't push me!

I'm making a citizen's arrest.

I'm making a citizen's arrest.

Ready now to chase the jury officer.

The man's mad.

In summary, then, gentlemen, the
position is this.

Because of the sensitive aspect of this
incident, internal inquiries will be

made by security services and ourselves.

The outcome of which, amongst other
things... may result in disciplinary

being taken against the officers
involved.

Mr Chisholm is already under suspension
from duty, pending consultations between

his employers and the Bank of England.
And frankly, looking at these reports,

I'm not surprised.

With regard to Mr Daly and Mr McCann's
position in this sorry affair, well,

remains under review.

However... In view of their voluntary
help in assisting us, it has been

that no criminal charges will be
instituted against them with regard to

of Mr. Daly's business.

This does not mean to say that Mr. Daly
will be able to continue in that line of

business.

Forgive me for interposing,
Commissioner, Your Honor, sir.

Could you clarify that? In simple terms,
Mr. Daly, it means that your warehouse

will be stripped.

and all your business activities
curtailed.

One day, darling.

One day. I hope that's not a threat, Mr
Chisholm. You heard what the assistant

commissioner said. I have been working
undercover, helping the Yard protect the

citizens of this country against
marauding political extremists. Remember

you are, Chisholm, and for God's sake,
show some dignity. Dignity?

Dignity? Where's yours?

Years ago. Try to. Look where we are
now.

Ruined. Ruined? We don't want any fuss
outside the Assistant Commissioner's

office, do we?

And you, McCann.

One day.

One day.

I ain't a bad loser, don't you, chuff?

Shut up.

I haven't finished with you yet, McCann.
Or you, Daly.

Oh, yes, you have, Constable. Come on.

Constable, what are you... Listen, do
you fancy a drink or anything?

Oh, I'm sorry, Terry. I've been told to
wait. Never mind all that, Terry.

I was building a business empire. Now
I'm bereft. My goods confiscated. My

wheels have dropped off my world, Terry.
Tough, tough, all right.

Listen, maybe I can see you a bit later
or something, eh? Sure. See?

Come on. Time to be off. Excuse me, my
dear.

We must be off.

Now, Terry, I'm talking major financial
crisis.

We must as always stick together on this
one.

There is a way out of this, you know.

Yeah, I know there is.

You disappear and I live happily ever
after.

Now, Terry, I don't think you're fully
cognising with the situation.

I'm talking about our future security
here.

I mean, do you want us to go back on the
pavement and scratch a living?

What are you talking about? We've never
been away from the pavement.

We are definitely street level.

Nonsense. We've had a taste of the big
time. There's no reason why we shouldn't

do it again. Stand on me.

Vision, enterprise.

That's all it needs.

Listen. Get off. Get off.

Listen, look, I've... Get off.

If you want...

He's so good for you.