All language subtitles for Minder s06e03 Return of the Invincible Man

It'd be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

It'd be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

Oh, what's that?

Oh, could you believe it?

The enemy within, within our own great
metropolis and all.

A little slag heap inside, eh?

I'd lock people up like that. I'd give
them hard labour.

That's what they want, innit? Oh, yeah.

You better walk beside me.

Huh? On the right.

On the right.

Well, what do you think they're going to
do, eh? Oh, you never know, do you?

Lumps of concrete.

Potatoes with razor blades in?

Oh, but it's half a dozen girls. Oh,
yeah, they're all right, are they? The

female of the species is more deadly
than the male.

Watch her. Good morning, brother.

Is this the delivery brother? I am not
your brother or your uncle or your

cousin. I am not a relation of yours at
all. This is an official dispute.

We're redundant.

I'm not surprised if you're all on
strike.

We're asking for support from other
workers like yourself.

Me, a worker?

I'm an employer.

I'm a member of the Chamber of Commerce.
No, I guarantee he's not a worker. A

bit of a grafter, maybe, but definitely
not a worker.

Do I need this? Hey, Arthur, it's my
time of life.

Flying pickets? Flying pickets? Yeah,
hilarious.

Come in, come in. Now they want
redundancy.

Look, I don't know what's happening to
this country.

Suddenly you can't sack a man.

I'm a boss, they're the workers.

I tell them what to do. Now they want to
tell me.

I like your suit, I don't know.

And then what's that?

That for jogging?

A marathon?

I keep telling him, Solly. Don't you
ever wear a suit?

At weddings, funerals. Cool.

Arthur and Prince Charles are the only
men in the country with four suits.

I bet the other geezer's paper is.

Hey, Terry, look, why don't you make us
a pot of tea, eh? What are you striking

about, anyway?

Greed, Terry.

Naked greed.

Yours or theirs?

You draw it to the well and suddenly the
well is dry.

That is very true.

What you need, Solly, is a rainy day.

Here. Come here, let me show you
something.

You know what this is?

This is a bespoke suit.

A Savile Row suit is a gentleman's suit.

Ah, but you don't see gentlemen anymore.

Arabs, maybe, with tyrannic bedspreads,
or Schwarzers with tribal robes. But no

English gentlemen.

They're all hibernating in their country
seats, worrying about their death

duties. That's what's happened to the
English suit.

Oh, it makes you proud to wear an
English suit, doesn't it?

You got yours off of Arid of Greek.

Yeah, well, I mean, it's a traditional
garment, isn't it? It's like national

costume. Yeah.

Arthur, come here.

How would you like to buy 20 bespoke
suits?

Bespoke? But they're made for particular
people, aren't they? Yeah, but you can

sell anything. You're famous for it.

Who's going to find a punter for this
one, eh? What is it, a giant or

There's always got to be somebody. Yeah,
but look, even with my special talent,

Solly, it's not going to help you. I
mean, how much do you need?

What I need is an act of God.

Oh, no, not another fire, Solly.

Flood?

Pistolets?

Earthquake? Oh, this is serious, Terry.

Mental breakdown.

That was in 1974.

Oh, they do reoccur.

Another one and I'll be committed
forever.

I've got a better idea.

A burglary.

I thought you'd come up with that
eventually.

The perfect crime.

Yeah, yeah, of course. What are they
going to nick? 20 suits and a packet of

needles?

Money. Eh?

Come on, I'll show you.

No, I don't want to know. Not even for a
joke.

It is not a joke. Come on, at least
look.

You know about these things.

Villainy, yeah?

And him, he's been in prison. Yeah, and
he don't want to go back again, thanks

very much.

Listen, what about all your crimes?

Me?

They weren't crimes.

Financial mistakes, misjudgments.

You've got the wrong blokes, I'm sorry.

Listen, I'm offering a lot of money.
You're like one. That's it, I'm off. No,

no, no, hang on, hang on. Hang on,
you're the man out. I don't want to.

courtesy. You know what this is, don't
you?

Conspiracy. Conspiracy is plotting. We
are chatting.

Yeah. chatting about blowing his
bleeding paint up. Look, all I want is

to break into the factory, blow up the
safe. Then I'll claim that the

money's gone.

Oh, is that all?

Mad, mad. No, no, no, no, no. He don't
mean that. A small explosion.

Nothing to harm anybody. Just a whimper,
not a bang. See you later.

Hey, you're being very impolite when you
didn't even make that cup of tea.

What's the matter with him?

Have I upset him?

No, he don't understand your humour,
Solly. I mean, I knew you were joking,

he didn't.

You weren't joking.

Three grand, maybe.

Cash, no kites.

Of course, I wouldn't want you to do it
personally.

I should hope not.

My suggestion is that you're a sort of
consultant.

You recruit the experts.

It's got to look good, obviously.

Well, as you know, Solly, I know people.

Yeah, you're like the godson.

No, godfather.

No, my godson, the one who's doing seven
years in Parkhurst.

He knew everybody.

Now everybody's with him, Shigener.

You see, I know about fires, but
burglaries, that is...

Virgin Territory, yeah.

To me, it seems easy. Am I right? No.

What happens in the morning when the old
bill comes and says how much money was

there in the safe?

I'll tell them there was £20 ,000 in
there.

I'll even have a counterfeit from the
bank. And then you claim the insurance?

Well, with my record, I'll try,
obviously, but I don't know if I'll have

success. Listen, I've worked hard all my
life.

They get good wages.

Am I going to give them my life savings?

Oh, incidentally, the three grand is for
the safe breakers.

My fee will be extra.

A lot extra.

Why does everybody steal from me?

Excuse me.

How big are you?

Eh? I might have something for you. What
are you? 6 '4"? 46 chest?

Look at that. Could have been made for
you. Savile row.

I'm just an ordinary painter.

Oh, don't painters have suits? Don't
they go out of an evening?

Look, pure colouring and all.

Yeah?

Try it on.

It's only 200 sobs.

What did you say?

I said to you, 170 sobs.

Who do you think I am, David Hockney? A
footballer? No, he's much smaller than

you. Now, look, don't drip paint over
it, but have a good look at this.

Think I've done my leg?

No, you haven't.

Bloody painful.

Well, you might have done your
cartridge.

Have I?

It's a funny old life, isn't it?

I thought this morning when I got up,
I'd get a good eight hours in on the

ladder.

Have a couple of sherbets dinner time.

Cheese and pickle sandwich.

Nice. I wasn't thinking about my spring
wardrobe.

And then some idiot tried to sell me a
several -row suit when I'm 12 foot up a

ladder. Opportunity is a fleeting thing.

Remember Fleming when he discovered
penicillin? He was up a ladder at the

was he? I don't think anyone ever
checked that. Look, I'll tell you what

do. 150 sobs.

This could be your lucky day.

No.

It's your lucky day.

If my leg was okay, I'd kick you from
here till next week. I tell you this, I

tell you this, you'd probably prefer a
pinstripe or something like that. Yeah,

you're right. I'll see you at Austin
Reeds.

Don't go under the ladder. Bad luck.

Bunglow's behind the ramp, Dave.

Who's that bloke on the ladder?

This place is a bit cumulata.

Oriental bizarre.

Oh, there's one there for you. What are
you, 42?

I know, thanks, Arthur. I've still got
that.

Terrible mohair you sold me last year.
No, that was a steal.

Yeah. I know the bloke who stole it.

I wish to tell you, your pal's over
there and he's got a yump.

Why? What did he say?

Nothing much.

Arthur Lager.

Those were his very words.

He didn't even have a go at you and
that's unusual.

I need your help.

Yes, I understand your views.

I'm not asking you to break in with a
sawn -off shotgun.

But you do know some unemployed thieves.

And they're all having a bad time too.

Scrimping and scraping. No self
-respecting thief would have anything to

it. That is where you're wrong, my son.
I don't want a self -respecting one.

They come in all sizes, you know.

Downmarket ones, sleazy ones, pathetic
ones.

Easily.

What, and his brother?

They're nice lads.

They turned over the Oxfam shop a couple
of months ago.

Is that sleazy enough for you?

Do you know what you're getting into?

Nothing, just helping out an old friend.

Oh, I've got to blow.

God, what was that?

Some geezer fell off a ladder. Again?

No, we don't do a lot now, since we got
into catering.

It's our new image.

Yeah, I like to see young men striking
out on their own. Well, no star, see?

Staff still.

Nobody gets behind a jump. Know what I
mean? Yeah, family firm.

Not them. They're even worse.

No, your mum.

She's great for any life.

I love her. Benny's the same.

I'd do anything for her. Of course you
would.

My mum's been cleaning for people all
her life.

Houses, shops.

Picks up things.

Know what I mean? It's in her nature.

Nothing wrong with her sweeping, but
even though she's my own mum, she don't

sweep around a jack and a jewel.

Well, it's too tempting, isn't it? All
the background and everything.

That's very thoughtful, Billy.

I am a thoughtful man.

That's why I'm a bit concerned about
Solly's factory.

How do you know it is?

Fires and floods, the safe.

It's only a question of time, wasn't it?

We're talking about a specialist now.

Jelly Knight.

That's tricky stuff, isn't it? How about
your mum?

She's a bit light -fingered, Arthur, but
she ain't a thief.

That was my little joke, Billy.

No, no, no, I know, I know, she's a
jewel.

A jewel, you're right there.

I'll drink to that.

Hmm.

Talking about drinking, here's your
specialist.

Oh, my God.

Not Scotch Harry.

A pathetic petty pilferer, a bag
snatcher.

This is great, eh?

Old China's, eh?

Hey, isn't it magic, this place? I heard
you were running it, boys.

I never realised you had patrons at
Arthur Daly.

Drops him for his tea, doesn't he?

Gracie, Arthur.

I was just telling Arthur about when you
were an ace Peter man.

You must have known that, Arthur.

I was the governor.

Plastic, jelly, thermal lanterns. I was
the biddle. Oh, I did my time in that

game. Any chance of your ham roll?

Told you, didn't I? Games and tea.

Yeah, I'd done all the banks in Glasgow.
I was famous before I was 25.

Anyhow, what's the strength of this, eh?
But you haven't done it for a while.

In my bones.

I was up for a big silver bullion job.

I never had a suit.

I could have helped you then.

Could do with a suit.

Don't look after your clothes.

Who?

I've been away.

That's why you haven't seen me for a
while.

16 months.

No bother to me. I can do that in my
head. I'm just out. When?

Now, this morning.

See you, chaps.

Bye. What's the matter? Forget it. I'm
off.

The man's only come out of the boob half
an hour ago. That doesn't exactly

inspire confidence, does it?

Yeah, but he's hungry, isn't he? And
he's keen.

And he's cheap.

What do you want?

What's up, Karen? Here.

Do you want to work, Harry?

I'm planning to.

I've got a lot of loving to do.

What are we going to do?

You're the man for my daughter.

No, I am not. And don't you never, ever
say that. I just might put some work

your way.

Never even seen you.

Where are they going?

Beans, they're sold.

They're not worth anything.

We're the only ones who make them work.

Yeah, well, half a daily bought them.
They make them work. So the governor's

really done it, eh? We've worked for him
for five years.

Good stuff as well.

I'm sorry. I'm just a hired hand, all
right?

Most of us are.

The girls reckon they're not worth
anything, niece.

If Arthur doesn't sell them, I'll buy
them back.

I'll be back in business in a couple of
months.

I thought you were going to retire.

Retire? Where would I go to?

Hove?

Brighton?

Sit in a hotel lounge?

TV room?

I am a doer, Terry, not a sitter.

I don't want to be rich.

That's for young men when they've still
got ambition.

Well, I haven't got it.

Well, maybe you're lucky.

Or wise.

Yeah.

Did Arthur tell you about tonight?

No, he didn't, and I don't want you to
either.

In that case, schtum.

What's that?

Fizzers. My mum would like them. Go on,
let's get busy.

So you've done this before, Harry?

I told you. I don't know.

These old thieves are a doddle.

I hope they remember to put the door
inside.

Three grand.

We could do one every night and be
laughing.

That sweatshirt off, don't you?

Yeah.

I am a people policeman.

My role is preventive rather than
detentive.

I'm trying to close the club, Mr
Chisholm.

You people don't understand, policeman.

No.

Look at the environment I have to live
in. Bloody calves.

Pimps, grasses, rapists, muggers,
transvestites.

No wonder I have to have a drink
occasionally.

You certainly had a few tonight.

Get a blanker.

Stand back, lads.

It's just a wee muffled bang.

Nothing to worry about.

Is that it?

Need to play it.

One of the wee wires.

Oh, wait a minute. Let's do it here now.

Let's do this wee bit here.

bread, is he?

Flotsam and Jetsam. I don't know what a
good act.

Oh, life.

I'll tell you something.

Good on a straightforward to God villain
and be a breath of fresh air.

That's got to be your taxi, Mr Chisholm.

Give me the firewood in.

Allow me.

Not a bribe?

Certainly not.

See him off, would you tell?

Come on, this way. Go on, dear.

You just took a wrong turn in your life,
McKen.

You didn't help, did you?

Community pleading.

I should bar him. He upsets people.

Especially when they're discussing
business.

I don't want him here holding.

Is your mate in there?

Aye? Is your mate in?

We've got another one of your pals with
us. Now, this is down to Harper, right?

Hey!

Hey!

Harper!

It's got Harry!

He is definitely barred.

What's he doing here?

Oh, he's drunk.

Come on, come on.

Get him in the car. Get him in the car.
What?

Get him in the car. Are you all right?
Open the door. That's it. That's it.

It's all right. Just get in the car and
drive, will you? Where? Where?

Look.

I hope he don't die in the motor.

That's bad luck.

Really bad luck for him, isn't it?

Is he breathing?

I can't see.

God, he's blind.

What did you do, for God's sake? Hold
on, hold on.

What's the difference, really?

The new stuff, hell of a bang.

Oh, great.

Well, at least you got the dough.

I said at least you got the dough.

Wouldn't he open?

We've done the business, done it,
wouldn't he budge? He needs a doctor,

know. I need a doctor. Do you hear what
he just said? You can open a 50 -year

-old safe with a tin opener.

That dough's still in there.

I can see again.

Oh, it's a miracle.

Oh, it's my hanky.

Don't go for that, because I wasn't
going to have a whip round for a guide

Listen, we've got to get him to the
hospital.

I can't take him to the hospital. I'm a
known person round here.

I'll give the kids presents at Christmas
at the hospital.

But you can tell them you bought him
Santa Claus, can't you? Look, he's got a

burnt boat, not a white beard.

No, I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll
dump him on a skip.

What? No, no, no. We'll leave him
somewhere.

Not necessarily a skip. Make him
comfortable, and then get on a trombone

ambulance. Give me help, please.

Eh? Catholic?

Of course not.

You've got a better deal.

And if you're going to die, and they
know how to do it, I feel five -course

bizzle. You don't know who's running
that gaff up there. I just want to hedge

bets. No, no, no, you can't pretend.
This is marvellous, isn't it? The

crisis of my life, and we've got a
theological discussion going on. I'm

you know!

Get him off me! Get him off me! He's in
a coma!

Get him off me! No, he ain't. He's all
right.

He's trying to strangle you, that's all.

You all right, son?

I could really do with a drink.

Oh, in that case, you're definitely not
going to die, are you? How can people

not die and drink at the same time?

I've never drank like 16 points.

I'm a born -again drinker.

Listen, son, whatever happens, you don't
remember anything, right? Your name,

your address, where you came from,
nothing.

I know the score.

When I go to work, I'm the man from
nowhere.

I'm a pro, a big old pro. You and your
mates, you'll get me to feed.

There's a trouble in this country today.

You can't find a good, honest -to -God,
decent, professional thief anymore.

They've all gone to live in bloody
Spain.

Nurse, nurse, excuse me.

In the name of God, what's happened to
him?

Well, I don't really know. I just found
him outside, do you know?

Just sit him down there now for a
minute.

You all right, mate? Go on. There you
go.

It's Terry, isn't it?

Well, yes. You're always in here.

You must get yourself into an awful lot
of scrape.

No, no, no, not me, no. It must be a
different Terry.

I'll see to him in a second.

Now, another thing, you don't know me,
all right? I know the drill.

I'll tell you one thing.

The wife will be worried.

She should be told, eh?

If anything happens, you never know, eh?

No, you'll be all right.

15 Frankel House, you know it?

Yeah.

Yeah, you'll be fine, you'll be fine.
Aye, aye.

Just in case the old ticker or
whatever... Tell Arthur I'm sorry.

I'll see you. You're a pal.

You're all right. Oh, goodness.

Where's your friend?

Now,

what's your name?

It took you time.

Couldn't leave them on the floor, could
I? Why not?

One of the nurses recognised me.

Oh, my God, no.

Well, that's it, isn't it? I mean,
that's what happens when you're nice to

people.

We'll be up the steps in no time.

I'm not going to have it, not with my
reputation.

Early doors will go mad.

Can you imagine that?

Oh, no, it'll be a Spanish number.

I'll be with all the others.

All the others? You haven't got that
sort of dough.

I'll manage, don't worry.

No, no, no, no, no. Go straight on. Why?
Where are we going?

She's got Harris Mrs.

What? No, we're not.

She's got to be told, hasn't she? She'll
read it in the papers.

You're all art, you are, aren't you?

Women are strange.

They get excited. They can't handle the
old bill.

They say things.

Well, it's nothing to do with me. I
mean, it's your gang.

Don't you ever call it a gang.

It's a loose collection of inadequate
individuals.

Who is it?

Oh, Mr Stewart.

Aye.

I'm a friend of Harry.

Who?

Harry, your husband.

He thought you might be worried when he
didn't come home after he'd come out of

prison.

How do you mean?

Well, he came out this morning.

I didn't even know he was in the jail.

Well, you must have noticed he wasn't
here.

Hey, Mr, I haven't seen him for eight
years.

Eight years?

Well, weren't you a bit worried?

Well, I was.

For about a year.

I mean, he only went out for a can of
lager.

Mind you, he never was a reliable man.

What's he been up to?

Oh, a bit of this, a bit of that.

Ah, that's him.

Is that why you woke me up at four o
'clock?

Well, no, the thing is, he's had an
accident.

Anything serious?

I mean, terminal?

No, no, no, I don't think so.

You win a few, you lose a few, eh, son?

Yeah.

Well, I've...

Given you the message anyway, all right?
Yes, he did.

And here's one for him.

Tell him he owes me ten grand
maintenance and he can drop dead as

Good night, son.

Headache, Cub?

Certainly not.

Out late.

That well -known den of thieves, the
winch is to come.

Thought you liked it. Would I?

24 -hour cop for me.

Even when I'm asleep, I'm thinking.

And vice versa, hey, Gav?

Celtic humour doesn't travel, Jones.
Very witty with a sheep, not too clever

the metropolis.

Why don't you try out your silver tongue
with these faulty strikers?

They're not suspects, are they? Who
knows?

In this life of ours, everything is
suspect.

What you have here, Mr Salmon, is a
shambles. This is the work of

gas -meter thieves.

Rank amateurs.

Not even experts, eh?

Why should they be experts?

Why not?

Why? Well, this isn't exactly the most
inviting premises on the manor, is it?

Why ever go at this place?

How much do they get?

I don't know. They didn't open it.

Youth enough jelly.

Very perfect, Norman.

Hmm. You've even incinerated the booty.

How? How much did you say?

Er... £20 ,000. Really?

Probably more.

Ashes to ashes.

Don't look like £20 ,000 to me.

Who else knew you were carrying that
kind of dough?

Nobody.

Clients, reps, friends.

No, I swear to you.

Strikers? Who knows? I don't know.

Matt, in it go.

Got the names?

What do they have to say?

Not much.

No visitors for several days?

One bloke from the Union?

Oh, and a couple of old friends of ours.

Who?

Who? Daly and McCann.

Well, well, well.

Oh, you didn't tell me that, Mr Salmon,
did you?

Terry and Arthur?

I didn't tell you that?

Friends of yours, are they?

Well, not friends, not real friends.

Suddenly I see blue skies, sunlight on
the horizon.

Not their style, though, Gav.

I mean safe -breaking.

Why not?

Safe to contain money, it's so facto.
So, Arthur Daly, what's the matter with

you? Look, Arthur wouldn't go to all
that trouble. Now, now, Mr Salmon, your

business is tailoring.

Mine is the criminal mind.

Very eloquent, God.

Hello, Arthur.

Morning there, Top Harper.

Very droll.

You two scarped it off pretty sharpish?

Well, beyond my bedtime, mate.

The, uh, dead Scotch Harry?

How do I know?

Man's health has it. Damaged your brain.

Expert, he said. Couldn't open a kid's
money box.

Well, what about our dough?

Dough? You want money as well? It's
still in the safe, isn't it?

What's Scotch Harry grasses?

We're all done for a three -year
stretch.

At least.

What about you?

What about me? I didn't do it. We agreed
that from the start.

You're not suggesting that I... Yes.
Yes!

Hey, hey, hey, steady, steady.

You threaten him, mate.

You owe us, Arthur.

Go easy on the threads.

Sorry, Arthur. Thank you.

I'll have a word with Solly.

But I don't have eye -oaks.

Well, that's not enough.

What else can I say?

You fancy a couple of suits?

You might be surprised now.

He looks like the Invincible Man.

You mean the Invisible Man?

Whatever you fancy, Sergeant.

Quite ill.

Oh, don't worry, we won't disturb him.

It's a question of identity.

You don't have a name?

He wouldn't say.

The burns were just an explosion.

Are it? He certainly is not. Look at
him.

Well, sir, what have we got here?

What are you, eh?

Safe breaker or an urban terrorist?

Can you talk?

Possible.

Do we have an address?

Foreigner, is he? Who knows, Sergeant
Chisholm.

I know him.

It's their minces.

I can't see him.

I can't hear him.

But there's an aura of wickedness.

Copper's instinct.

He's a wrong 'un.

You're amazing, Gough.

You've taken a piss.

No, Gough.

Did I do that?

Well, you can confirm my view by taking
his dabs, all right, Doctor?

I'm afraid not. His hands have been
dressed.

Well, undress them, then.

It is my professional view. Yeah, yeah,
they all say that. Unless their houses

have just been turned over.

Oh, sorry.

Well, what about his clothes?

They were in tatters. I put them in the
incinerator.

No ID?

No, nothing.

I know you, pal.

Seen those eyes.

Aye, I've seen them too.

It was one of those Walt Disney
naturehounds when a coyote was trapped.

We'll be back, my old friend.

And we won't be bringing any grapes.

Thank you, Doctor.

Nurse.

How did he get here?

Not under his own steam.

Ah, sure, he was in a terrible state.

Hands and knees?

No, somebody helped him.

Yes?

Just a man. He said he met him in the
street.

And who was this good Samaritan?

Well, I wouldn't know his full name, but
I've seen him around.

Oh.

Yes?

He's called Terry.

Well, well, well.

About 2 ,000 Terrys on this manor. For
some reason, one particular Terry leaps

to the mind.

And, of course, you'd recognise him if
you saw him again, wouldn't you?

Well, I suppose so.

Has he done something wrong?

All the time, my dear.

A person known to the police, as they
say. Jones.

It's a very popular name. Oh, yes,
indeed.

You haven't been in here for a while,
have you?

Always happens.

What? The same faces.

In this manner, there must be, what, 300
of them?

The real rascals.

If this was a police state, and thank
God we don't live in one,

I could put those 300 behind bars.

But you are protected.

By rules and laws.

Arrest procedures.

Habeas corpus and all that cobblers.

Oh, here, you're in a safe -breaking
now.

Me? Could I phrase that better?

I understand you were hanging around a
clothing factory yesterday.

Yeah, that's right, yeah. I was
collecting a few sewing machines.

That was earlier.

You see?

That's what happens with your
unfortunate history.

You're in the frame.

For what?

You know.

No, I don't.

But, of course, you didn't know there
was 20 grand in the safe, did you?

Well, I don't bloody hell should I know,
eh? Oh, dear, oh, dear.

We're not getting violent, are we? What
sort of violent act, Mr Jones?

A bit impolite, I say.

Very.

Well, can I go yet? You must be joking.

Oh, didn't I tell you about the
hospital?

Got a very good description of you from
an accident victim.

Who's who?

A witness.

I see you, er... You mean you don't know
his name?

Oh, Mr Jones, I mean, I... I don't know
why you're asking me all these questions

about last night.

Faith breaking, robbery, all that stuff.

I mean, I've got the best alibi in the
world, haven't I?

Such as?

I was with you, Mr Chisholm. Don't you
remember?

At a Winchester club, having a bit of
afters.

You and me, half a day. Oh,
incidentally, you do know that you owe

fiver, don't you?

That is a private matter. Of course, I
just thought I'd mention it, you know,

while we're chatting.

You've got a fiver?

Aye.

To him?

Yes, yes.

Bit of a turn -up, innit, eh?

I mean, usually it's the suspect who's
corrupting the old bill, innit? Usually.

No, no, I'm sorry. Sorry.

Anyway, what were you chatting about,
eh?

No, no, no, no, I'm not going in.

Oh, that's typical, isn't it?

He's your mate, but I'm getting all the
hassle off the chisels. Yeah, but you're

in a clear.

Listen, he's still going to want a body,
isn't he?

We can't guarantee on Harry, can we?
What? He's pure gold, like one of our

Exactly.

Now, you wait here.

Wait.

You're questioning my bottle?

Yes. Have I ever let you down? Yeah.

I'll give you five minutes.

You stay there.

Suppose you get captured.

You stay.

Hey!

Stay! Turn around!

Oh, nurse.

Sister. Oh, sorry, um, my cousin's in
here. I think that's him.

How is he?

Much better.

Perhaps you can tell us his name. He
seems to have a speech problem.

Yeah, yeah, actually, he's had that
since he was a kid. It's, um, Roland.

Roland Brown.

Brown? Yeah, that's right. Um, can he
move about? Can he walk?

Of course he can.

He'll be fine in a few days.

Oh, that's nice. Thanks a lot.

Are you Harry?

Aye.

How are you? I'm magic.

It's great to see you.

Listen, do you feel up to doing a
runner?

Oh, you know me. I'm game for anything.

I need some clothes in the cupboard in
the corridor.

What?

What?

What you doing here? Are they flogging
off the bed?

No, no, Mr Chisholm. Just doing one of
my usual good deeds, you know.

Early indoors, visiting a sick
neighbour.

Nice drink last night, eh?

No hangover, I hope?

No. Thank you.

Oh, you don't by any chance happen to
have my fiver, do you?

I gave it to the can.

Oh, you sure?

Tea up too, eh?

Well, you never know when after this.

Take that Welsh smirk off your face and
all.

God, what's happened to his hands?

What happened to you?

Get him in there. In the back. Go on,
here you go.

All right, Harry?

He'll probably come back.

Why? They all come back at tea time.

I've heard about places like this.

They take off wrong legs, misplaced
gallbladders, and apparently you're

lose a patient.

God, he wasn't ill. Come on, Jones.

Just up here on the left, number 15.

Right, right, well, look, look, you
dwell here a moment, and I'll, um, I'll

chime in.

Are you kidding, are you?

Yeah, you leave it to me. Go on, round
to him.

Go on.

Mrs. Stewart, I have some good news for
you. A shock, maybe, but good news.

Are you the man for the papers?

I said, bingo!

Almost, my dear, almost.

Me hen!

God help us, what is it? That's what I
thought you'd say. Home of the sailor,

home from the sea, the hunter, home from
the hell.

Is it some awful disease? Look, get him
away from me. Don't go over the top,

Harry. Is it catching?

It's not.

Chibis or anything like that, is it? No,
it's all right, honestly.

Martin, we... He's not staying here, is
he? What the bloody am I? It's my home,

isn't it?

Eight years? It's still my home.

She's never satisfied. I mean, I've
furnished this whole place. The best

of my life were spent here. He's off his
rocker. The best years of his life were

spent barrelling in the scrub and his
bootmaker's wee shop.

She's no memory of the magic moments.

Do you not remember me as a young,
dashing, tall guy?

It's the... Their bandages have always
been that size.

Listen, look, look, let's just all calm
down, all right? What a good idea. Come

on, sit in your favourite easy chair.

I'd love that.

Come on.

Now, when the bell goes, come out
fighting.

She does not yet, Harry.

Now, look, Mrs Stewart, the thing is, he
wants to stay here for at least a few

days. The point is, if he goes down the
street, he's going to be captured. And

he's not the only one involved. There
are others, like Terry and me.

Now, the moment the bandages come off,
Bob's your uncle. He's as innocent as

next man.

And the other thing is, when he was in
the hospital, he kept calling out for

you. It was very moving, wasn't it,
Terry?

Yeah, yeah. That's why I came round last
night.

I'm not moved.

Did you call out for me, Harry?

I often do, then.

She's the bezo, eh?

Right, what's in it for me?

These are my friends. You're pathetic.

Look, you'll be protecting your own
husband.

As I said, what's in it for me?

If he's that valuable, there must be a
price.

Look, hen, you're bargaining for my
body.

What is it they call it?

Blackmail? You tell her, Arthur.

We don't do this.

In the underworld, we've got a code.

Is that right?

Aye. Let's talk money.

Now I realise why I left her.

She's worse than my barker. Look, Harry
is not a wealthy man.

It's all right for you.

I mean, there's the food and I've got
the flat to arrange.

What about Susie?

Susie who?

Your married daughter.

Oh, I know that Susie. Well, obviously
I'll give you a couple of bob for the

food. Two bob, eh? I want, well, three
hundred.

What do you call that?

Blackmail.

Is that all I'm worth?

Well, fine then.

Don't you be intimidated by these
people.

That's it, I'm off. It's not my problem.
But they're threatening me.

No, they're not. See, he's bottling out.

No, I'm not. I'm going, that's all.

It's not my problem.

Yeah, and I'm coming with you.

No, you're not.

I'm out of pocket.

For all I know, I could be grotesquely
disfigured.

He used to be a handsome man, you know.
Never in a million years. And don't you

forget, I personally rescued you from Mr
Plod. Do what? Not to say bringing you

back to your ever -loving wife that you
deserted eight years ago. And Susie. If

this was This Is Your Life, they'd be
cheering and crying and giving you a red

book. Never mind that.

I'd done the better on that ship.

That is the whole point. You did not do
the bit, though. That is why we're in

this meadow. Look, dear, I see you'll
get enough dough to give him all the

and toppings and porridge that he can
eat.

You caught me fly, man. You know that's
safe.

Are you going to let him get away with
it?

I'm not too steady in my pen.

Get!

Where's my door?

Shh, shh. I want my ground.

Be ahead of yourself.

I'll blow the whistle.

I'm not kidnapped.

What was all that about the code of the
underworld in there, then? Oh, that was

just for her.

It's not two, not any more, anyway.

I mean, Billy and Benny, big brass in
me, wouldn't they? No, no, no, I've

they're very loyal boys.

Oh, come on, eh?

A couple of drinks and I'd do anything,
but I'm dead sober now.

See, in that hostel, I nearly had ten
heart attacks.

Chisholm, sniffing around, and he knows
me.

Bad time of life.

I couldn't handle another bit of
porridge.

I wouldn't blow the whistle, but...

Christ, I need that money.

Yeah, but a grand.

You've always got a good wedge on you,
Arthur.

Just to show her I've still got a little
respect, eh?

You're a big man, Arthur.

No, I've got a 500.

And that is all. We are now quits,
right?

Oh, you're a great man, Arthur.

You'll feel better for this.

You know what I think?

That little Scotchman turned me over.

I think it was the most decent thing
you've done for years.

You would think that, wouldn't you?

No

sign

of the Invisible Man, eh, Gavin?

What about him and why?

Got no proof, though, have we?

They might have to find some, if you
take my meaning.

Patient disappears from a well -known
hospital.

Can't tolerate that.

Bit of a neck. Body snatching.

That bloke on here, now he's got Daly in
the can.

I read somewhere that there's a thriving
business in spare parts for surgeons.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

It makes you think, Jones. I'm all for
that.

What do you reckon, Anger?

One ratty.

One fierce.

In cahoots.

But these are no longer your property,
Solly. Did you give me cash?

You have my bond.

Yeah, but did you give me cash? That is
immaterial. Cash is simply a token.

I didn't even have a token.

You took care of them for a night. And
what a night.

I lost money, peace of mind.

Don't talk to me about money. I'm well
out. I had to pay... Well, then, forget

it. And we need these sewing machines.

Tim was your enemy yesterday.

24 hours is a long time in tailoring.
You know you get money from the

government? Enterprise, they say.

They'll do anything to stop you joining
a doll queue.

Mr. Salmon's putting up his own money as
well.

Where'd you get that then? 17 grand, my
life savings.

Maybe I owe it to the girls, eh?

Maybe you owe a few other people too,
Solly. All in good time.

We've got to get on our feet.

Modernised premises, fresh thinking.

Like a collective?

Yeah, you know, co -op.

Co -op, Solly?

That is communism.

Turned out nice again, didn't it?

Look at him.

Enlightened.

I've been thinking of... Oh, not again.

What's in it for us, eh?

No money stolen?

No circumstantial or forensic evidence?
The prime witness has disappeared and

the victim seems very friendly with the
suspect?

All I'm saying is this.

Who bloody cares?

If you want to, I'll change the
situation.

Right people, right time, just the wrong
location.

I've got a good idea.

Just you keep me near. I'll be so good
for you.

I'm going to help you.

Get to it.