Original subtitles

3 .50 now.

Keep the change, Omega.

Thank you, mate.

Here, take the phone.

We're with you, mate.

Here, look.

Oh, it's him.

All right?

Archie.

How are you, Archie?

How am I?

How am I? How do you think I am, you slag?

Slag. I'll kill you, Archie. I'll kill you.

Archie, I'll give you a ring. I'll have you read.

I'll bloody kill you.

I can be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

I can be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

It's the last one.

There you go, my son.

They should fit.

Oh, cheers.

Oh, no. No tar.

What do you mean, no tar?

They're free.

Yeah, they're flares.

No, it's fireproof.

Fireproof? No, flare, it's a style, isn't it? You know, like bell bottoms.

And nobody wears them anymore.

Didn't you know they were flesh?

Yeah, of course I did.

You didn't, did you? You bought them without looking at them. Been stitched

mate. Ha, ha, ha. Stitched up. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, very comical. Trouble with

Terry, is you don't appreciate quality.

Top quality denim. That's what I was buying.

They'll move, you'll see.

I bet they won't.

Yeah.

Oh, not now, Dave. I'm up to here.

All right, all right. I'll send Terry over.

All right, Dave. All right. If you insist, I will forget about making a

I will drop everything at your whim.

OK?

Right.

Dave wanted over at the Winchester, said it's urgent.

Has he got trouble?

No, no, he wouldn't say on the phone.

I'll get this out of the way and we'll go over there.

How many pairs of these have you got?

500.

500?

I got your message, Dave.

Anything the matter?

Oh, yes and no.

Hey, what's all this in aid of?

I can't tell you just yet. You've got to wait for Arthur and Terry.

This had better be good, Dave.

You'd steal yourselves for a shock.

Oh, lads, you shouldn't have bothered.

Ain't your birthday, is it?

Terry. Ah, Tartess.

Who the bloody hell's that?

Oh, me, Jack O 'Reilly. Hello, my son. How are you?

Oily Ray. Oh, do, Jack. Nice to see you.

Yes, spot a shampoo for my very good friends here, please. Four for four.

for four, listen.

Yeah, what?

I think you'd better wheel it on now, Dave.

Roger. Back in good old England.

Salute, fellas.

Salute. Listen, I thought you'd get nicked as soon as you trod on the tarmac

Gatwick. I never left because of the law, I tell.

I just wanted to turn over a new leaf, that's all.

Best thing I ever did.

There we are.

What about that, then?

Welcome home, Jack.

Hey!

Well, gracias, fellas, for turning up here today. Didn't have much choice, did

we? I mean, it's a great deal to me.

I've just got a couple of business calls to make. In the meantime, help

yourselves. We can keep this coming till morning, can't we, Dave?

Certainly can.

Let's see here, Jack O 'Rag.

Business calls.

Probably dialing the speaking clock.

I didn't think I'd see him back in England.

You wouldn't have missed much, would you? He's all right, this Jack O'. He's

bloody menace.

That's his shampoo you're drinking.

I didn't want to hurt his feelings, did I?

But if he starts all that I said to Bigsy and Bigsy said to me, Cobblers,

have a nervous breakdown.

Listen, when I was in the scrubs, Jacko told me to keep my head down and do the

bird. If I hadn't shared a peter with him, I would have been in all sorts of

bother. Oh, heart of gold. Say no more.

Can I help you, Arthur?

I was just looking at your trousers, Dave. They flared.

No, Arthur, it's just the way I'm standing.

Nobody wears supplies anymore.

Archie, don't hang up on me. This is dead important.

Look, I'm doing you a favour.

Yeah, I know I owe you one. We all know that.

Else why did I come back here in the first place? Answer me that one.

A meet.

That's right, I want a meet.

What, you still at your old place?

All right, let's make it there.

You won't regret it, Archie, on my life.

Once to me and my old place.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

So what's it like being back, eh, Jekyll?

Well, there's been some changes, hasn't there, Dad? I mean, you can't even get a

decent pint of keg now. It's all that bloody real ale stuff, isn't it?

Come on, then, what have you been doing in Spain?

Now you're asking.

I know you blokes have been thinking about me over there in Spain all these

years. You're thinking about nothing else, Jack. Lying around on the beach,

drinking the vino, chasing the senoritas, but you'd be right out of

because I've had my nose to the grindstone from the word go.

Of course you have, Jack. Yeah, you see, in Spain they've got this lottery, see,

and every week everybody buys a few tickets. Well, being as how I was going

native, I did likewise.

You didn't pick a winner, did you? I certainly did, Des, I certainly did. A

handy little nest egg.

But I didn't blow it in the usual fun and games, neither.

No, I bought myself a nice little bar.

And now I'm the landlord of Ye Olde Boar's Head, Torremolinos.

Oh, very continental.

Domino's, darts, a good pint of keg, and as many scotch eggs as you can eat. The

English panthers love it.

So I thought, well, if Ye Olde Boar's Head works in Spain, why not El

Taberna, London?

You see, what I've got in mind is a nice little Spanish -style bodega.

spotty flamenco dinner touch.

You're not forgetting your ethnic food poisoning touch. Just shut up, will you?

So that's why I came back.

As a matter of fact, Terry, I was wondering whether you had much on at the

moment. No, no, no.

He booked up to the eyeballs at the moment. Oh, sir.

I quite understand, Arthur, quite understand.

Dave, crack open a couple of bottles, will you? Oh, lovely. Yeah, of course.

Cheers. Arthur, could I have a word just a minute? Eh? Just a couple of words,

Arthur. What?

Oh, sorry, Terry.

It's just that, well, I'd appreciate it if you could let Terry off the hook for

the rest of this week, you know, just for old times' sake.

No, no, I'm sorry, Jack. No, I understand, I understand.

Yeah, but look, here.

What if I give you 400 notes?

Right, that's to cover Terry's wages and your inconvenience.

Oh, well, yeah, I suppose he's not all that busy.

What are you into these days, Arthur?

Oh, import, export, property. Property?

Oh, you could be the answer to my prayers, Arthur.

Yeah. You see, I'm a bit out of touch with the property market in this

and I could use an expert like yourself.

How about you looking for some premises for me?

Up west, long lease, you know the kind of thing I mean. Well, Jack, I'm going

need... You're going to need expenses.

Well, how about I give you 500 in advance of your fee?

I just thought I'd mention it, Jack. I'm running a little business on my own

now, so if you're looking for a little motor or anything like that... Oh,

certainly, Des, yes, you could certainly help me. Yeah, well, I thought you'd be

interested.

What's going on?

Just business, Terry, just business.

What do you reckon, then, Des?

Well, I'll go.

Here, if it's a member, tell them we're shut.

Now, straight up, Jack, I am busy enough as it is. Oh, it's only just a bit of

advice, Dave, that's all.

Like bar staff, wholesale liquor, life and cinema, you know the ropes.

Well, so long as I can count on you to be there, that's all.

Look, there you go.

See? No obligation.

Now, I'll keep the rest for you. I'll put an elastic band round it so it won't

get mixed up while I... Oh, that's going to stop you loving yourself too.

Ah.

Come in. Don't be shy.

Have a drop of espumosa.

Why not?

Jack Ray, this is Detective Constable Rycock.

Oh, yeah.

Well, always happy to buy the law a drink.

Pick up your money there, Dave. It's getting wet.

What can I do for you, Mr. Rycock?

Nothing much, Dave.

It just occurred to me the other day, your licence is coming up for renewal.

And time fly.

Well, you know how it is, Dave. I have to go through the motions.

Got to make sure you're keeping everything clean and tidy.

You want to watch your small change, I can mount up.

I still say we should give it back to him first thing.

He was well out of order, wasn't he?

Shouldn't take advantage like that.

Well,

one thing we're certain of...

It ain't funny money.

Oily Red couldn't get money out of a bank even with a checkbook.

He's had a tickle or two.

Oh, yeah.

Like the time he was driving for some team out of Essex and he locked the keys

in the car.

They all come steaming out this bank, really looking the business in the

balaclavas and that.

And there's Jacko asking if anyone's a member of the AA.

Yeah, well, just because a geezer's done well for himself doesn't mean to say

you can rip him off, does it?

Oh, come on, Terry.

I mean, he gave me 700 quid.

Now, if I come across a nice BMW or something, well, that's your deposit

straight away. I mean, where's the rip -off?

Yeah, once you're running errands in my office hours, he's certainly got to pay.

Right, Arthur.

Yeah, all right, all right.

I'm going to crash out.

Yeah. Good night.

No, no, I said I'm going to crash out.

Terry, Terry, turn it down. I mean, that shampoo has given me a real head.

See that till over there? That's where my old school was. Right by that

roundabout.

Or was it the other street down?

Jacko, what's up?

How do you mean?

Well, we spent three hours in the Duke's Head, which was nice, I admit.

And we've been all over West London only to establish that your favourite

Chinese takeaway is now a sex shop.

But what's the curry?

Point taken, me amigo, point taken. Yeah, well, if you haven't got the time

spend the day, you know, wandering round with an old friend, well... That's not

what I mean, and you know it.

Listen, you're putting something off, aren't you?

Always was perceptive, I tell.

Straight to the heart of the matter.

That's you.

All right.

See that flat up there? The one with the green door? Number 86.

Yeah, what about that? Well, that's where the old wife was living when I

out of the scrubs.

You know, before I'd done a bank for Spain.

I just want to find out if she's still there.

I want you to go there, tell, knock on the door, and tell her that I'm still

around.

She's going to love that, isn't she? Just break it to her easy, tell. No

trouble, no fuss.

Just want to talk, that's all.

Go on, my friend.

Number 83.

You haven't come for me.

telly, have you?

No, no, no.

I thought not. That's usually Friday.

Um, look, I don't mean to be rude or anything like that, but have you lived

long? Five years.

So I suppose you don't know anybody called Eileen Rag, do you?

Oh, yes.

She married the man from the crew.

He still comes round.

Done very well, she has. Lives on the other side of the green now.

Jacko, um... She's married to someone else.

That means she's divorced me.

Well, yeah, that's what it sounds like, doesn't it?

Well, without so much as a buy -your -leave.

Don't be fair.

Look, you were inside for five years. You did a straight bunk to Spain for

I mean...

What more do you expect, eh?

I just wanted to talk to her, too.

But how did he divorce me? Look, the best thing you can do is leave it alone,

right?

And where to?

Come on.

Uxbridge.

I've got to meet my partner.

Fleur d 'Arte.

But nobody wears them anymore.

Oh, don't you start. The old bloody nation's obsessed by the shape of its

And it just shows what a decadent society we are living in.

Now, Chris, I wonder if you could take them all in for me.

500?

Oh, not worth it.

It's easier to make 500.

There must be something.

It would go a treat behind the iron curtain.

Stand in the middle of Red Square with these, and you would be mobbed.

Cheers, Chris.

Very useful.

Or, uh, you could alter a few.

How do you mean?

I mean a few pairs to go on the top of the box, that sort of thing.

Oh, no, no, no, I couldn't do a thing like that, Chris.

Might be a spot of feedback, wouldn't it?

Oh, I know someone who would do it.

No connection with you, no feedback.

But, uh, you would have to front him.

How much?

Say, 500 quid.

You should get 350, 4 quid a pair.

At least you won't lose out at the death.

All right, Chris, if you're sure this geezer can pull it off.

Oh, he's the king in the rag trade.

Johnny Cofter don't give a monkey's what he does.

Who? Johnny Cofter.

Why? He's the rotten sod that flogged them to me in the first place.

Come on, then, give us a clue. What's all this about Partner?

Well, I say Partner, he's a kid, really, and he's encouraging.

Yeah, bit of a bloody magician with the old bookkeeper.

Got to have someone like that on the board.

So he'll be jacking his job in here, then, will he? I should say he will.

Should be out in, uh, 30 seconds.

Punchle type, is he?

Bang on.

Neville Watham, Terry McCann. Hello, mate.

Jump behind the wheels, help. Right.

Very important business meeting.

Point the wheels at Hammersmith.

I'll start sprinting out, Hammersmith.

Treating half this, Jacko.

This is a very bad line.

Money back?

I'm speaking a foreign language as far as I'm concerned, pal. The lads have

started work.

I know you didn't say start, but I got a full shop here. I can't have shunted

granadas getting under my feet. You brought it here in good faith, and I

working on it in good faith. End of chat, as far as I'm concerned, pal.

That was it.

Is he sweating?

Bricks, Des, bricks. Mugs only got third -party fire and theft.

Good. And the shunt was his fault, it now transpires.

Have you done the crash repair?

Yeah, just waiting on a new bonnet.

I'll bell him in a couple of days and tell him I've got a punter who'll take

off him for a price and pay for the repairs. He'll be so relieved.

He didn't jump for two and a half grand.

Lovely. I reckon my client will cough up five.

Well, that's all right then. Nice little drink up this weekend.

Come on then, I'll show you.

Where's the bonnet coming?

They promised it for later this afternoon.

Very nice.

Very nice.

£55 ,000. It's been a bit restless, hasn't it?

All motorway driving, no doubt.

Oh, yeah.

I'm never in the wet.

Can you get me a new speedo? No sweat.

All right. Fair enough.

I'll have my whiskey boaters know if it's all the same. Yeah, well, I thought

you might.

You got a light, Chief?

You thinking of buying the old deli?

No, I was actually looking for a friend of mine.

Don't get me wrong, Chief. It's just the bloke who owns it happens to be a

friend of mine. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Well, I thought I'd put a good word in for you.

Oh, no.

Why would you do that?

Ah, well, there's a bloke who's put in an offer.

A dealer in unusual magazines.

My friend doesn't like him. Well?

Well, if he was to get another serious offer, well, might be a drink in it for

me. Oh, that's nice.

Well, and you'd save yourself some money, because you wouldn't have to go

through the estate agent.

Oh, now you're talking my language.

How can I get in touch with this friend of yours?

Well, best let me talk to him first. All right, I'll tell you what. Look, I'll

give you my card. See if you can get him to ring me, and we'll have a drink.

All right, will do, Mr Daly. That's it. Stop.

This is Sunnyhurst Road.

I'd say number 23 was just a memory.

Well, he said, the old place.

Who's he?

Archie Crimson.

Well, you've been away eight years, haven't you? I mean, maybe he's got a

old place.

Oh, hang on.

There he is.

Are you sure this is kosher?

It's a bit funny for a business meeting, isn't it?

It's about the nostalgia, Till. That's all.

You hang on here, Till. Won't be long.

Come on, then.

That'll awake our pal.

Watch it, Jack.

Archie.

Well, thank God you showed, Arch.

What do you think of the old place, then, eh?

Bit of a come down, innit?

Phil, you've done me a favour, really.

Getting me locked up for eight years.

Because I wouldn't have had nowhere to live, would I?

I've come to settle the accounts, Archie. Oh, for bottling up on me and

boys?

Hey, get me put inside?

You lose ten grand?

Well, that's nice, isn't it, boys?

Oily rags. Come and kiss and make it better for us.

Yeah, look, I only get an hour for lunch. I'm going to give you 15 grand,

Archie. I want to make things right between us.

Here, look.

You're a bloody dreamer, pal.

I don't see no 15 grand debt. They're floor plans, Archie. This fellow's a

clerk. These are the plans to his office.

See, every week, him and his mate pack it up 150 grand.

But there's a cock -up in the design, see, Arch?

You need two trolleys of cash, but the lift only takes one trolley at a time.

So, for two minutes, him and his mate are left all alone with 75 grand.

You make me want to puke oily.

I've timed it, Archie. Down for the last second. Believe me, this has got to be

the best blag that you've ever seen.

I'll tell you something, Jack.

I ain't interested in money no more.

You might have noticed.

I'm bloody crippled these days.

But when you whacked that jag into the wrong gear, you not only got me banged

up, you smashed my sudden leg.

You little... Oh, please, this has nothing to do with me. Oh!

You bloody cripple me, you bastard!

We'll settle the accounts all right, Jacko.

These are parts we don't want to chop in.

Get out!

All right, the cavalry's here.

Jacko, on your bike.

This ain't your concern, pal.

I'll stay out of this while you're still walking.

Bottle gone, has it?

Come on. He's gone. There's only two of you now.

What's that?

Me!

What's that?

I know your face, McCall.

Get in the car. I've got to find Nev.

Fine. He's done a runner, hasn't he? He's had it a way of probably being

by now.

Get in the car. We need a chat.

How's it going?

Great.

Lovely match, this Billy. Aye.

Have you spoken to the owner?

Yeah. Still a bit fractious.

Did he accept the offer?

No, just dropped a few hips.

Billy? He'll go for it. He's on a hiding to nothing, otherwise. I hope you're

right. I've given you £700 on account.

Don't worry.

Don't spend it yet, not till we've done the deal.

I know you.

It's been on my conscience for eight years, this tell.

I couldn't come back to London without making things straight with Archie.

What did you expect to do? Have a nice little chat and say you're sorry?

Archie Simpson is a well -known nutter, right? He's one of the original kamikaze

hard men.

I think all that's done must have fried your brains.

And what's all this about?

I'll explain everything to you later, Tony. Just give me some time to have a

jimmy and a washer, right?

Is your heavy into fashion these days, Arthur?

The wife thought that might interest you. What's that?

We can look forward to a revival of the romantic and hedonistic look of the 60s.

Lots of lace and velvet, loose baggy garments and... Oh, perhaps a return

of that museum piece, the flared jeans.

Mind you, that mag's three years old.

Has Jack opened him?

No. I've lost him.

Some people have all the luck.

Just give me the slip.

I knew I brought you up wrong.

You are working for someone, ergo you give them the slip, not the other way

round. This is serious.

There's a geezer called Archie Simpson who seems intent on topping him. Oh,

a shame. I'll just fix up some nice premises for him.

Simpson likes hurting people.

Look, Terry, we seem to be into a am I my brother's keeper situation here, and

frankly... He's a mate, isn't he?

Not a mate.

Besides which, he's paying me. Oh, Terry's right, Arthur. He's on wages.

Speaking of which, I'm skint. So peel us off a couple from my wad.

I'll do the rounds and find him.

Oh, come on.

Has Jack been in? I've got just the motor for him. Be ready tomorrow.

If he's not fussy about the colour.

Well, paint it white, write ambulance on the bonnet. That should do.

Very funny. Just give us a moment. That ain't enough, is it?

If I find him in one piece, Des, I'll pass on the good news. Cheers.

That is mine, you know.

Right, right.

All right.

Want a beer, Des?

Oh.

Cheers, Arthur.

Don't put that on my slate.

All right, I'll pay for it myself.

Oh, cheers, Dave.

I'll have a large vodka, Dave.

Aren't they in the office?

Where's Jack Rag?

I've never heard of him. Who's that again?

Aren't they funny?

I know you.

The last time I saw Rag, he was having his hand held by your boy McCann.

Jack ain't here, pal.

And nobody knows where he is.

There's just a few folk having a quiet drink.

Where is this lad, Daly?

Who are you, Sunbeam?

Nobody. I asked you a question, Daly. I swear to God, I don't know.

Get in there, Tony!

Where is he, Daly?

Look at the law, Daly. Now!

You all right, Dave?

There's a bloody lot of them.

You didn't call the law, did you? No. Do you want me to? No, no.

I don't want Rycock sniffing around with my license coming up.

Don't leave any brandy intact, Dave. That's fair turn me up, it is.

Poor yourself, Arthur.

Hey Des, the lads and I are going to get something to eat, do you want to come?

No, I want to put the team speedo in.

Right then, I'll see you later.

Okay, be right with me, finish that thing and come on.

You sure this is the place, then?

Oh, yeah.

This definitely is.

Look, they've completely refraded.

I'll never get this car back unless you do something.

You may know these gentlemen, sir.

This time I intend to nick a lot of them.

The keys are probably in the office.

Faded denim handbags?

No, no, I'd rather stick to our original plan, Chris.

Well, I don't fancy our chance of the shifting 500 faded denim handbags. I'd

rather have a jean.

He's already done it.

Oh, my God, Chris, how could you let him?

Hang about!

That is a bloody liberty, Chris.

It's a stick box of a arena.

All right!

Hey, Mr Daly, you probably don't remember me. Mind if I come in? Hang on,

on. What is it?

Where's he going?

I hear you're interested in premises in Remington Street.

I was merely inquiring on behalf of a friend.

I'm afraid you can't have that property, Mr Daly.

You see, like the admirable trade unions, my colleagues and I run a closed

We jealously guard what is ours.

in his decidedly dodgy time.

He wants to open a restaurant, not a massage parlour.

Exactly.

What a waste of prime floor space.

Believe me, I'll make much better use of it.

What's going on? He's broke, so rob him. Give me that.

I can't see a thing, Mr Daly.

Not a thing.

Let him go now.

Perhaps I've been overcautious.

I see now that you don't really pose a threat to us.

You picked the wrong one, mate. I'll have the bloody lot of you for this.

Did you say something?

No, no, this place echoes.

You looking for these?

Matter of fact, I was, though, yeah.

Well, you can't have them.

Not till we've had a little chat.

Oh, please, Terry, look, I've got head on me this morning. A bullet itself

wouldn't be all right.

I saw your friend Neville.

The partner, remember?

Yeah.

Guard the third floor, 45 seconds.

We'll trolley the fourth floor, 20 seconds.

Do you still read Boys Only in Spain?

Oh, Jerry, that's a real beauty.

Beauty's bleeding madness, and you know it.

I mean, look how Neville bottled yesterday.

And you, what a team.

Dynamite.

Well, I thought maybe you and Dad.

No. Listen, just get it into your head. I don't do those sort of things anymore.

And I don't understand why you are.

I mean, you've got a bar. You're a businessman, aren't you?

Oh, there is no bar, Till.

Well, there is a bar, but it isn't mine.

No bleeding ways, it might.

I'm just Joe Soap, bottle washer.

You haven't got a cold beer in your fridge, have you? I'm dying over here.

yet, no.

Where did you get that cash from?

Like I said, the lottery.

Is that straight?

Yeah, I couldn't believe it myself.

Bloody four grand.

And then this Neville bloke comes in the bar on his holidays and after a few

drinks he starts talking about his job, about all the money he handles and how

the security's iffy and all that.

Well, I thought, well, here you go.

This is your big chance.

Your big chance to get banged up again?

No, no.

See, what I thought was I'd square it all off with Archie and then maybe open

calf myself with what I've got left.

I've got the means.

See, I've had it up to here, Till.

I just want to come home.

Yeah.

Cheers.

I just want my mates to like me, that's all.

I want to spend an hour and a half every Saturday in the rain watching Fulham

get laced up.

Go home, have me tea, watch the racing results on the telly.

I want to go down to Duke's Head, Sunday lunchtime, have a drink up, moan about

the rates, the bloody World Cup, and then go home and get a rollicking for

kipping on the sofa.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, I'm a dreamer, all right.

I know things sound a lot better when they're in your head, but...

Well, you've got to give it a whirl, haven't you?

You've done that, haven't you?

The fact is, Terry, me, amigo, old pal, I've got to go scurrying back to where I

came from, right?

It's got to be for the best, hasn't it?

Maybe in a couple of years' time.

How much money have you got left?

None.

Yesterday was Jack Rag's swan song.

No,

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll get the money back.

You go to the others, right?

That's got to be a fair few bob, isn't it? I suppose so.

Well, I didn't just do it for the money, Tal.

It wasn't just the money.

It was the respect I wanted.

A word in your shell -like, Dave.

What's the matter with your boat race?

I've had a nose job.

I heard you had a bit of a party down here, then.

You hear everything, Mr Eichel.

I don't spend all my time putting out traffic cones on motorways, Dave.

Archie Simpson and friends dropped in yesterday, did they?

That's all sorted now.

I wouldn't be too sure about that, Dave.

I come down here the other night to find Jack Rag back from the dead, give him

money away as though there's no tomorrow.

The next thing I hear is a whisper that Rag is trying to put a team together.

Before I've had a chance to get over laughing at that, I've got Simpson

my manor with complete disregard to life and limb.

You've got it all out of proportion, Mr Reichel. I don't want nutters like

Simpson on my patch, Dave.

It's too much like hard work.

You don't need it either.

What, with your licence coming up for renewal?

Hey, Kenny, the pizzas are getting cold.

Just coming.

Now, I don't believe for one minute that Des and Terry are trying to set up a

blag with Jack, but I don't want him hanging around them.

In fact, I don't want him around at all.

So put in a word for me, Dave.

Give good old Jack a helping hand, back to wherever he came from.

Then we can be all nice and quiet, as per usual, OK?

I'll see what I can do, Mr Rycock.

So where is... Where's the bleeding car, then?

Well, I told you. I had to ditch it.

And a bit sharpish and all.

I see. So you get a car with 700 quid of his money and then ditch it. That's

lovely, isn't it?

Yeah, but it was only the deposit.

I'm really sorry, Jeff. That's all right, Dez. I understand.

Take their ass, they're on.

Yeah, right.

Oh, yeah, you might be leaving us, Oily.

Leave out the Oily, will you?

Jeff's thinking of going back to Spain, Arthur. And we now know he's thoracic.

So my idea is we get all of what's left of his cash and get him down to London

Airport tootsweet.

That's all I've got on me at the moment.

I did have a few breakages.

That's all right, Dave.

That's down to me anyway.

Arthur, Arthur.

Yeah, yeah, well, I mean the word of inevitable overheads, you know.

You have my wages and all.

Must come to nearly a grand.

I was bloody mugged, wasn't I? Running bloody errands for bloody all year.

I was threatened with me bloody life.

I'm physically abused.

You're very lucky to have me sitting here now.

You're pathetic.

Well, you got enough for a fare to Spain, for crying out loud?

Oh, there is one slight itch there, fella.

What might that be, Jack?

My passport.

I sold it last night up west.

A sort of symbolic gesture. I thought I wouldn't be needing it.

Well, no problem.

Report it lost.

You'll get another in a few weeks' time. A few weeks?

With Archie Simpson on the rampage and Rycock marking our cards?

Now, listen, fellas.

I've learnt a few things in the past few days.

Never go back, they say.

And I reckon they're right.

Now, I'm not saying that you fellas have made a mug out of me.

But, well, I can see that things aren't the way that I thought they was. So I'll

just flip away and leave you to get on with it in peace and quiet.

Fair enough, Jack. I'll settle up with you next time I see you.

Hang on, hang on, hang on. Look, I know this geezer. He's got a boat. He does

the odd run across to Holland.

Put it there, Des.

I knew you wouldn't let me down.

Make a decision and act on it.

That's what I like.

Don't let the grass grow.

The thing is, if he does agree, it'll be a bit expensive, so how can we raise

the cash?

Arthur?

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

What have they been doing in there?

No sign of Rag, then.

Here we are.

Come on, Fanchon. Time to get up.

They'll be here soon.

Why do bloody sailors have to do everything so early in the morning?

Got to catch the tide, Arthur.

You didn't have to come in the first place.

I want to see that my money goes where it's intended.

I actually want to see Jack set sail.

And I might get some sleep.

Amsterdam.

Beautiful city, that.

I might stay there. Forget about Spain.

Make it handy if I want to pop over and visit you blokes. Yeah, well, take a

little time to settle in, Jack.

You know, say about 30 years.

Okay? All right. Nice to see you.

Hello, Taylor.

Who the bloody hell is this? Yeah, don't worry. Look, this is your man.

800 quid for a ride in this? We're only hiring it, you know, not buying it. And

take the notice, it's all right.

Is that lot with you?

Oh, my God.

I might have guessed. Come on.

Back!

Why don't you want to join him? Go on.

Cast

off,

Arthur. You know what? Give us a push.

Come on, Arthur. Give us a push, for God's sake. I am pushing.

It's here, it's here.

Oh, come on up.

Oh, come on up.

Help me.

I've got a friend.

I've swarmed some.

I've got bloody food poisoning.

That'll make my watch all wet. Well, fellas, it was nice while it lasted.

That's the long way to go, fellas.

Yeah, tell her, Jacko.

See you, Jack.

Have a good trip. Make a bow to Jacko.

Oh, you go head off.

Amigo. Snack!

The boat was going one way, his little legs were going... It was like one of

those old films, wasn't it?

Oh, look who's here. Esther Williams.

How about that, then?

That's handy, isn't it? A pair of jeans you can wear over your shoulder.

No, no. Have a look.

Oh, jeans with no legs. That goes down a bum. No, it's handbag.

No, it looks like a fly zip.

That's a gimmick, see?

That's very tasteful. Don't put your hand in there.

I don't know what the person's like.

Nice bit of denim, though.

I wouldn't mind a pair of jeans made out of that.

Right people, right time, just the wrong location.

I've got a good idea.

If you keep me near, I'll be so good for you. I could be so good

for you.

I'm gonna help you. Love you like you want me to.

I do.

I'll do it like you want me to Love you like you want me to