Original subtitles

Dad, what is that smell?

Dad, your feet stink.

Do you see anybody complaining about my feet?

That's because you drove them all away.

My friend, clear away from here.

I'm trying to read about the big Floyd Mayweather pay -per -view fight.

Toby, this is them.

Big part of the century. Ah, no, no, no. I can't afford to miss it. But, Dad, I

need a massive, massive favour.

No. But I haven't said anything yet.

The answer is still no. I know it will involve me buying something.

So, let me put you out of your misery very, very fast.

No, no, no. Oh, and before I forget, no.

But, Dad, what I want you to buy me is something small.

Really? What is it?

An iPad.

iPad, have you knocked your head?

Do you know how much they cost?

£500.

I thought you said you wanted something small.

I'm inside.

And it's not too small for a big guy like you.

A big guy like you?

Are you taking the mickey? I need it. I mean, you're always talking about the

millions you have in Nigeria.

Yes, I do. But a million in Nigeria is not a million here.

Everyone at school is getting one.

And I'm not going to fit in. Oh, you keep it this.

All you want is gadget this, gadget that.

Well, of course.

We live in a technology -driven world.

So what did we do in my day? No computers.

Hardly any technology.

Well, that must have been so boring.

I bet you just sat around and waited for technology to arrive.

But, Toby...

I was never bored when I was a kid. Yeah. We used our imagination to invent

games that kept us busy.

You kids now, Facebook this, Facebook that. We had our faces in books.

Reading about the creators of Nigerian history.

Fumilayo, Ransom Kuti, Herbert Macaulay.

You kids of today, you have no backbone.

You cannot even last one second without using some kind of gadget.

I bet we could.

Really?

Listen to Inspector Gadget. I bet you anything.

You cannot survive for two days without using any technology.

Anything?

Are you sure?

Of course, now. I am super confident that you, of all people, will not last.

Well, since you are so super...

Confident. How about a challenge?

If I can last 48 hours without using technology, you buy me an iPad.

And what do I get if you lose?

Which you win.

I will wash your car every day for a month.

Come here.

Shut up.

Do that anyway.

No, no. I need something better than that.

Let's go.

You can do all the chores that your mother says I should do.

You wash the car,

scrub all those yama -yama pots in the kitchen, go to the market, buy a round

bed. All of that for three months.

Okay.

So then, do we have a deal? Yes, we do.

That's, uh...

48 hours, my boy.

Bring it on. Bring it on.

They are the banjos.

Gladdy, do you know how big this boxing match is?

I'm having the boys around to watch it live.

Bayo, do you know how expensive those paper view boxing matches are?

Oh, Gladdy, calm down, calm down.

The boys are chipping in money to pay for it.

I can't miss it all. It's very, very important.

Bayo, what is important is this silly challenge you and Toby have.

I heard that if he wins, he gets an iPad.

Do you know how expensive those things are? Gladdy.

My sweet potato.

What do you take me for? A husband who always gets himself into trouble. Must

you always be a messenger of the past? I am a strategist. There's no way I can

lose. Are you sure?

I overheard him talking to Sade. He is determined not to use any technology for

the next two whole days. Gladys, there is no way he can survive. No way. No way

on God's earth. I know my son.

And I also have some insurance.

Like a few tricks up my sleeve.

Like this.

Toby.

Toby, your favorite YouTube show is on.

What show?

The Gadget Show.

Okay, I'm coming.

You see how stupid he is?

He's already falling on the first hurdle.

No more trolls for three months.

What are you doing?

I'm using blindfolds, Mum.

That way I'm not watching any technology.

But you can hear it, can you not? Ah, I'm prepared for that too.

Now, let me get out of here before I get tempted.

Careful, Toby!

This is not over.

We are just getting started.

Have you heard the news, Tony?

Robbers in London targeting cafes.

Who'd rob me? I haven't got any money.

True. But take a look anyways.

Stuff will have already been done in Peckham.

You might be next.

Did you hear that, Tony?

You asked your manageress. I refuse to work under such conditions.

What are you going to do to protect me? I've been putting ads in for ages for

someone to look after this place, but nothing's come back.

That's because you're not paying them any money.

That's because I haven't got any money.

True.

Anyway, when am I going to find someone to look after this place on my non

-existent budget?

What credentials does the person need anyway?

Well, he needs to be tall, intimidating, mean -looking,

someone to scare away all the robbers.

Where are we going to find someone like that?

Not here anyway.

I think I know just the person for the job.

No. No, Gad.

Ha!

Morning, Toby.

Morning, Dad.

I've made you your favorite...

Every breakfast, we eat our binks with milk.

Oh, thanks.

Dad?

It's cold.

Oh, son.

I forgot how you like it nice and warm.

Just put it in the microwave.

You're right.

Son, it's just a bad idea.

Make it nice and hot.

What is the matter with you?

Don't do it, Hobie. It's a gadget, remember?

What about my cereal?

Cereal? Focus on the goal.

Brand new iPad.

Brand new iPad?

Yes, brand new iPad.

What is the meaning of this?

Interrupting your brother's breakfast?

Well, well, well, daddy -o.

I know all about the plan.

But if Toby gets a new iPad, then I get to use it.

So don't worry, I've got your back, bro.

Cheers, sis.

As long as I get to use it when I want.

But Toby, what about your wicker beaks?

Look at this.

Another robbery, only five...

Where is this big, scary security guard you promised me?

He's on his way.

He's running late. On his first day? What kind of a first impression is that?

Tony, at the rate at which you are paying him, beggars can't be choosers.

General Femi, at your service.

What are you doing?

Tony, I am the new commander -in -chief.

Security advisor.

Protector of your precious cow.

I asked for a big, mean, intimidating, scary security guard and you bought me

Femi. Correction!

General Femi Timitope Muiwa III.

And as I have said before, beggars can be choosers.

Look, just give him a day and, you know, see how he gets along.

Oh, Funko, the things you wrote me into.

Thank you, sir. You will not regret this.

Don't bet on it.

Why are you so happy?

Glad.

This boy has put up a good fight.

But I think I have finally got him.

He just told me now he wants to go for a wash.

And you know how much our boy loves that electronic power shower.

He won't be able to resist.

Bayo, do you know how much you've been acting like a kid ever since you started

this challenge with your son? Potato, of course. I have youth in my bones.

And if you want me to show you how youthful I can be, let us go upstairs.

Sharp, sharp.

So, Toby, did you enjoy your power shower?

What are you doing with a bucket?

Well, because I didn't want to lose the challenge, I put cold water in the

bucket to have a wash.

You're going to get pneumonia with this challenge.

I demand you stop this challenge at once.

Ah, Mum, I see you're working with Dad so I fail and don't get the iPad.

Silly boy, I'm just concerned about your health.

Let me get some clothes on you.

By the way, you see what you are doing to the boy?

Stop this challenge at once.

This boy is harsh.

But I think I have a way to stop this nonsense.

Hello? Hello? Kevin?

Kevin? Who is Bayo? Am I your mate?

Anyway, I need your help.

Shut up.

I am willing to pay.

Attention!

Attention!

This is a PSA.

What? A public service announcement.

is General Femi and I am the new sheriff in town.

So, if any of you act unruly, you shall be dealt with.

Well, well.

Did I ask you to talk?

You have the face of suspicion.

Stand up!

One, two, three!

Let me touch you.

You can't touch me.

Are you defying the law? You're not the law. I am! Now jump down and give me 50

soja!

Not enough of this.

You can't speak to customers like that.

Attention!

Would you like to be strip -satched?

This is outrageous.

Tony!

Come talk this maniac out.

Tedley, what are you doing?

I didn't need rubber up here.

Of course not. There's no one here. You scared them away.

It's my job to keep this place safe.

And I shall keep this place safe to the best of my abilities.

Now, I'm going to check the exterior of the premises for anything suspicious.

Baby, what about that strip search?

Will you stay focused?

This is an important mission.

Now, all you have to do is just convince the boy to play the game and you will

have succeeded.

Are you sure?

I'm fully equipped for just doing that.

You'll definitely pay me. I might not buy you a debate.

Of course I will pay you, but you must succeed.

Where will you be?

I will be hiding behind the sofa and I will catch him red -handed.

Okay, all right.

Toby!

Toby, wake up, man! Wake up!

You scared me, man!

I got the latest game!

MGA Combat 5, man!

How'd you get that?

Never mind, didn't I? Just put it in.

I can't. I made a bet with my dad that I wouldn't use technology for 48 hours.

Toby, is your dad here now?

No. Just put it in, man.

Are you sure?

Yeah, man. Just do it.

Okay, I guess.

Did you hear that?

Hear what?

Can you smell that?

No. I can't smell nothing.

Like a dead rat.

mixed with my dad's feet.

Oh, those damn wicker beads.

Dad?

Kevin, I can't believe you did that. You tried to set me up. What, man?

Money talk.

Well, when I get my iPad, you won't be going anywhere near it. iPad?

Nobody said nothing about an iPad.

Look, my boy, we'll see, because you still have 12 hours to go.

12 hours to victory.

General Femi has arrived.

Who are these three potatoes?

Potato number one.

Who are you working for? FBI?

Potato number two.

You think I didn't watch your hiding under this weed?

Potato number three.

Can I get your number?

Where are you going?

For me? You're scaring all my customers away.

Sometimes for ultimate security, civilians have to pay the price.

They're hardly paying for anything now, are they?

Tony, can you not see that your shop is protected?

Everyone on the floor! Ah! Ah! No bed!

Ah, please, don't hurt me, please.

Where's everyone?

Look, look, calm down, yeah? What do you want?

All I want is the money in this tail.

Tony, give him everything in the tail, even in your pockets. Give it to him. I

haven't got any money, mate. We haven't had any customers.

Give me the money, I'm going to do you.

That's E5P.

It's like I just said, we have led any customers because Femi scared them all

away. Who's Femi?

Scared away all the customers, yeah?

You're going to try and make me leave without having any money?

What are you doing there?

He's a security guard.

Tony, shut up.

Me security is a lie. Be prepared to be made an example of. No.

I must thank you, Frunke. We've been looking for this guy for the last six

months. Will I get a reward for this?

I'm afraid not, but you should be pleased. That guy traumatised this city.

I don't think I've seen a security guard in such a state.

That is not our security guard.

That is Femi, and he's fired.

Except defeat, Dad.

Toby's outdone you this time, so you're going to have to live up to your words

and buy us, I mean him, an iPad.

I'm so excited.

No, no, no, no, no, Shadi. There is still time, but I won't give up. I won't

give up.

Dad, Toby's not going to crack with this little time left.

Just face it, we won.

We won.

Well, Dad, just minutes to go.

I'm going to be telling all my friends you got me an iPad.

What? No, what?

Dad, I won fair and square.

You know, victorious Toby has a slight build to it.

No, champion Toby.

I guess we'll go to the shop to get my prize after I get back.

Whatever, son.

It's about time I beat Dad at something.

Toby won.

Dad, zero.

I caught you, my boy.

I caught you red -handed with minutes to go on the clock. I told you, Toby. I

told you.

Dad, I don't understand why this was in my bag. And I think it says your number

was calling me. As that wrestler, The Rock, says, it doesn't matter what you

think. I caught you and I win.

Toby.

Oh, my God. Why is this phone in your hand? Please tell me you didn't use the

phone. It was a set -up.

Dad set me up.

Dad? Doesn't matter who set him up. All is fair in love and war. Now Toby, when

you get back from the library, don't forget to cut the grass.

We can't wait to watch this big fight, eh? Hurry up and put it on now.

Franco, Franco, I have not been this excited since the Holyfield -Baston

-Stuyvesant match. It's all those years ago, but this time, Mayweather is my

guy. Let's not waste time. Do you know how many wedding gigs are cancelled just

to watch this fight? Empty match. Relax.

Fight of the century coming up.

Let's see.

Bayo.

You got a problem?

You know, I gave you the money to go and order this fight.

Don't disappoint us now. I paid two.

Oreo, before I miss the first punch.

It's not switching on.

Let my son have a look.

Hey, Toby.

Toby -o.

You cold?

Yes, come and fix this for me.

But, Dad, I'm busy doing all your chores.

Carrying the grass, scrubbing the turf.

Look, my friend, forget about that. This is an important match.

Okay Looks like a wire is missing Where has it gone? My friend

look, this is an important match Sounds like you rely too much on technology to

me You took the wire?

Did I?

Dad, it's like you said, all's fair in love and war Now how about the iPad?

Oh, bio

You owe us money. Yes, sir. Now.

We pay to see a fight between professional boxers. Yes, sir. Not

and son. Yes, sir.

Relax.

This will only take a second.

Where is my cup? Now, give me that wire. Not until you give me what I want fair

and square. The iPad.

See this boy? Look. Today, today. Here, get it.

Oh, me, I just want to watch this fight now.

Yes, sir.

Thank you.