All language subtitles for Meet the Adebanjos s02e14 Funkes Big Date

Gladio.

Gladio. I have some important news.

Who do I?

No, no, no.

This is of the utmost importance. Today
is a landmark day. After 20 years of

hard work and struggle in this country.

Praise God. You've been promoted to
housing manager.

No, but we're still believing.

They have allowed Nigerians into the UK
without visa. Potato, be realistic,

please.

Then what is this? For the first time
ever, we now have a Nigerian MP

representing Peckham. MP Lola Rokosu.

And that is what you think is serious
when we have more important news to deal

with. Like what?

Toby's tutor just called. He's worried
about Toby's exam. He says he's not

completing any assignments.

That boy?

You mean he's still messing around? Even
with all the extra lessons that I am

paying for? What are we going to do
about your son?

So he's now my son. Okay, okay. Our son.
What do you suggest?

I don't know, Bayo, but my spirit tells
me. It's a friend he's hanging with.

They're corrupting him. Ah, no, no, no,
no, no, no. Gladly. I have trained my

son not to hang around with any useless
people.

Meet my friend, Sean.

Hello, Sean.

Wagwan pop.

Who is this?

Yo, Mr. Adebanjo.

Malaxundo.

What are you doing in my house? And with
my son?

Dad, he's a friend from school.

Yeah, man. Chill out, P.

Chill out?

P? My friend, pull up your trousers.

Are you constipated? Or do I want to see
your bottom?

Dad, just relax.

Chill out.

Why are you harassing my friend?

Relax? Chill out?

So, this your friend has been corrupting
your head, my friend.

Why did you bring this ragamuffin into
my house?

Dad, he's not a ragamuffin. He's just a
friend from school.

Okay, okay. Like Facebook, they will
unfriend him. Sharp, sharp.

Sean, Oya, start to go. Because Toby is
not at home.

But, Dad.

I'm right here. Shut up, my friend. Bye
-bye.

Peace out.

Peace in.

Can I go?

Toby, come here.

Can I go?

This is rubbish.

Where do you think you are going?

With Sean.

With Sean?

Is that the kind of people that I have
been training you to be hanging around

with? Dad, allow it, man. Sean's cool.

Allow what? You think I would be
allowing you to hang around with that

No wonder you're having bad grades at
school.

Dad, you're always blaming my friend for
everything.

You just don't want me to have friends.
Listen, son.

Bad company corrupts good manners.

You should learn to hang around with
decent people like Douglas.

Actually, Sean's quite smart. I'm
learning from him. Learning what?

How to be puff daddy?

Dad. What? It's P .E. Diddy. Well, shut
up!

I don't want to see you hanging around
with that Jagudah.

Full stop.

Look at those shoes.

Sade, imagine me with these shoes. The
TV party party.

With my new party.

When? Auntie, don't you mean Christian
Luta?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying now. The
one with the yellow bottom.

Auntie, you mean red bottom.

Whatever, Josh. Shut up.

What do you know? Do you think you know
more fashion than me?

Yes. I follow all the latest fashions,
trends, and designers.

Auntie, why don't you just buy shoes
from somewhere you can afford?

Like Primark.

Primark. Primark.

Primark. The last time I bought shoes
from Primark, the heels broke before I

even entered the factory.

I had to carry the shoes. And I was
hopping and dancing and hopping and

with the broken shoe under my arm.

But, Auntie, Unless you get another job
or a miracle happens, you're going to

have to kiss goodbye to those shoes
because you can't afford them.

Lord, you know my heart desires.

You know my heart desires.

Oh, Lord, help me, oh. Help me, oh.

Help me. I just won 400 quid on the GGs.

That's why my luck has come in.

Wow.

Big bar.

Big bar. Big bar.

That's me.

Yes. The Donald Trump of all the cafes.

But with better hair.

Yes, yes.

Better hair.

Yes. Better style.

A bigger wallet.

The most handsome in the whole of
Peckham.

Okay, Fante, what is it now? When you
start calling me handsome, I know

something's wrong. So what do you want?

Funny, you should ask.

I have a business proposal.

I need a small loan.

Your last business proposal had all your
aunts in here turning the place into a

hair salon.

They were not my aunts. They were
sisters from the church.

What harm did they do anyway?

What harm?

We were nearly closed down when they
found all their hair in the food.

I just need a bit of start -up capital.

Look, let bygones be bygones.

Those other ideas, they were...

Trial and error.

Every business of yours is an error.

Look, I will give you back the money in
two days.

Two days?

Nonsense. Look, and if I don't, I will
work for you for free for a whole week.

A month.

Two weeks.

Deal.

Where are you going?

Dad,

I'm going to a friend's house to do
coursework. Which friend?

Kevin.

Kevin? I saw Kevin going this morning to
a football practice. So where are you

really going?

Dad, give me a break, man. You're acting
like it's illegal to step out the

house. Where are you going?

Sean, I thought I told you not to hang
around with that boy. But Dad... You

you didn't want to see him in this
house, so I'm going over to his house.

You look like as if you don't really
value your life. Or you are too silly to

listen. I told you that you must not
hang around with that boy, full stop.

I need Sean to study with. We're in the
same group.

Studying? Yeah, we're coursework
partners.

Look at this if you don't believe me.

Study.

That ragamuffin studies.

Wonders shall never cease.

And if, if I fell, you will be the first
one to threaten me with a one -way trip

to Nigeria.

Okay.

If you are to study with John, then he
must come here so that I can keep my

on you.

Dad, oh my gosh, you treat me like a
baby. And you will forever be my baby.

And if you and that boy get into any
trouble, you will know what time it is.

I know.

Koboko time.

That's right, Koboko time.

Auntie, these are so pretty.

What do you think?

Oh, what should I do?

I just want my little baby at home.

Auntie, it's Louboutin. It's French, you
know.

Here they are.

Gorgeous!

What is wrong with you?

Sorry, but you can't try on anymore.

Every week, I bring my shoes, and you
wear them, and you change the size.

I can't sell them once they've been
worn.

So, no buy.

No try.

Especially the Louboutin.

Look here, lady.

I have enough money to buy those shoes.

Mrs. Shop Assistant, do your job and
assist me.

Okay, madam.

What size would you like? Size 10, isn't
it?

What's wrong with you?

Can't you see?

Can't you see I've lost weight? I can
now squeeze into a size 8.

Certainly. One moment.

Auntie, are you seriously going to spend
all of Tony's money on a pair of shoes?

How are you going to pay him back?

Look, Sade, I am one step ahead of you.

I will just clean them and return them.

Auntie, you give me too much grace.

Your new shoes, madam.

Bro, remember, all you've got to do is
pretend like we're studying.

And then we can go and work on our rap
tune.

Mission is, keep my parents sweet.

Brother, I've got that on lock. Yeah?
Cool.

But this is way overboard, man.

I've got to change my look just to come
into your house, you know? Look, I know

it's ridiculous, but it's the only way
we're going to get past my parents.

Take that thing off the head and zip up.

Hello. Mum,

this is Sean. Hello, Mrs. Adebanjo.

Mum, can I get up now?

Yes.

Okay, that was very good.

So, what are you boys studying today?

Algebra Level 4.

Oh, it's very studious.

Good boy, Sean.

Well, work hard.

And I'd like to see what you've done
when you finish.

We will... Bro,

that was easy.

A whole year that I couldn't handle
growing up.

But listen, why is your parents so
strict anyway?

They're just old -fashioned Nigerian
parents.

I never get away with nothing.

They're always watching me like a hawk.

They won't just let me be me, you know.

Bro? My mum can't tell me to do
anything.

I get to do whatever I want when I want.
Because I'm a gangster.

Wow. Hey, listen, mate. Are you ready
for this, though? What is it?

Gangster. Wow.

That must have really hurt.

Let me have a look.

Stop that, man. You can't touch the tat.

This is a special homage to my bro,
Tupac.

And all of my homies that have passed
away.

Sure.

You got any liquor?

It would right be in the work. As long
as it's a Cicapino.

Yeah, man.

Ooh, hey, listen to these beats, yeah?

Look, I'm going to MC you over this.
Yeah. As long as you told me you were

to spit over this to me, yeah? Yeah,
cool, cool. Just call me Master T.

I've got beats, fam.

The only beats you get is from your dad,
bruv.

Yeah?

Let's check out a pro, though.

Cool.

I'm a guy, yeah? Yeah. Fuck for life,
yeah? Yeah.

I'm from the street, yeah? Yeah.

I ain't no Nick, yeah? Yeah. You call me
Sean, a .k .a. Mr. Payne, yeah?

Hey, it's not this. It's not this.

Yeah.

Yeah. My name is Toby, and I'm so cool,
my parents can't tell me to go to

school. Yeah, I'm a fighter, so don't
mess with me.

Big man now.

Master T!

What's going on here?

My parents can't tell me to go to
school?

Is this the nonsense that you can't
study?

No, Dad, we were just... We were just
making some rhymes to tell out, Pops.

Pops? Who is your Pops? Do you even know
who your Pops is?

Listen, old man.

But you can't be talking to a T like
that. No, Sean, you need to practice.

Old man.

Amy, old man.

To be...

Tell your friend. Today, today, he will
see how gangster my Koboko is. I ain't

scared of you, man. I ain't scared of
you, bro.

Okay.

Today, today, I will put the fear of God
into you.

Balance. Balance!

You won't believe this.

Meet MP Lola Rokosu.

Mom.

Mom?

What on earth is going on in here? And
what are you doing with my son?

This boy is your son?

I was just showing him some home
training.

Of course he's my son, and he's already
been home trained.

Oluwasyan, why are you dressed like
that?

And where are your glasses?

Oluwasyan, I thought your name was Sean.

That's the English pronunciation.

What is Sean? Your name is Oluwasyan.
How many times do I have to tell you? Be

proud of it.

Oluwasyan?

I'm sorry, but you're not pronouncing
your son's name correctly.

Are you sure that you yourself, are you
a Nigerian? Of course I'm Nigerian. I

bet I'm more Nigerian than you.

Ah, than me?

No,

no, no, no, no. That's nonsense.

You can't be more Nigerian than me.

Well, I have three properties in V .I.
Lagos. I have a school. I have a

And just because I'm born in London,
don't take me for a fool. I am a true

woman.

What do you have to share?

Well, um... Excuse me, please. It's not
a competition.

Let's get back to the basics.

The kids? Yes, yes. Let's get back to
the kids.

This your son is talking about dog life
on the streets? Yeah, and pretending to

be some gangster with his fog life
tattoo.

A tattoo?

Are you crazy? No, no, no. It's a smoke
pen.

What kind of... Someone are you raising?

Excuse me. I'll have you know I'm
raising a fine son who has actually won

scholarship for private school next
year. Yeah, well, tell her. Will you

your mouth and get in the car before I
slap you?

Stupid behaviour.

I'm sorry. It's just acting out.

In fact...

The things I've been hearing about
Toby's grades. You should be lucky that

my son hang out around with yours.

Lucky? I beg my sister, please.

Your wayward son is the lucky one. To
have the guidance of my well -behaved,

hard -working, brilliant son. Okay,
okay, okay. Everybody, everybody, calm

Calm down, calm down. Look, we all want
the best for our kids. Please.

Yes, you are right.

When he gets home, I'll make him write a
letter of apology for what he's done

today.

We'll appreciate that.

I guess we just have to work together.

You're right. We take all our time
making sure they do things right,

them through the right education, yet
they want to go around making out

something they're not to impress, right?

I mean, in this day and age, there are
so many negative influences trying to

corrupt our children.

All we can do is train them and leave
the rest to God. Amen. Amen.

Shut up.

It was lovely meeting you. Ah, it was an
honor meeting you. Thank you. Keep up

the good work. Thank you. We will
support you all the way.

Thank you.

Ride on, counselor.

Ride on. Ride on. Ride on. No sense in
ingredients.

How can I support her when she can't
even bring up her own son?

Talking about thug life.

And then her, home in Nigeria.

How many houses do you have? At least
she has some.

What about you and your fake land in
Lekki?

Gladdy, must you always be a messenger
of the past?

away from my shoes, my friend.

Do you know how hard I work to keep them
intact so I can return them tomorrow?

Auntie, did you even wear them? That
looks like you did a really good job.

Yes.

All those bobos that came close to me at
the party, I just pushed them away.

I don't want anybody to dirty my shoes
from you.

They will sweet -talk you for one night.

And then later, you will pay the price.

No.

Aunty, I buy designer clothes all the
time and they never refund me.

Are you sure this is going to work?

Chadi.

East Street Market does not have any
refund policy.

Full stop.

All those designer dresses I wear to
parties.

How do you think I can afford them?

The food at the party was not correct.

But auntie, that's my shoe.

My shoe.

Are you sure this is going to work?

Trust me.

I'm a professional. I know what I'm
doing.

Hello, Funky. How are you?

Would you like to buy some new shoes for
me today?

I want to return these ones.

What's wrong with them?

Are you a sales girl or an interrogator?

You said I can return them.

Eh, give me my money back.

Okay, I'll just have a look at them.

They look fine.

They smell a lot like stew.

The only thing that is smelling is your
dust.

It's very close to your mouth.

Please, give me my money back.

Okay, I'll give you a refund if you give
me your receipt.

I told you, I'm a professional.

Is this paint?

Professional, huh?

Okay, okay, okay, everybody cut.

Yeah