All language subtitles for Meet the Adebanjos s02e11 The Washing Machine

Have you seen these flyers?

Hmm.

Looks like we've got some competition
over there next door.

Tony, so what does that mean for us?
Mean for us?

Okay, don't think I'm intimidated by a
bit of competition.

Well, you'll see we've got nothing to
worry about. The customers love it here.

They won't even notice the new place.

Uh -huh.

Unless somebody is handing out loads of
flyers.

Uh, excuse me, what do you think you're
doing?

What do you look like?

I'm Graham.

I'm the owner of the new Gigi's Cafe.

Funke, chuck him out.

Oh, you're the famous Funke I've heard
all about.

Tony, you see?

My legend is global.

He's from next door. He's hardly global.

Everybody's heard of Funke.

I hear it's the only reason people come
in this dump. It's because of your

fabulous soup.

I've got a proposal to make to you,
Funke.

Why don't you come work for me?

What?

How dare you come into my cafe and
approach my staff? I think you'll find

is a free market, mate. I can approach
you all I want.

Anyway, Funke isn't interested. She's
loyal to me.

Tony.

There is no loyalty in pound sterling.

Mr Mann from Gigi's Cafe.

What is your proposal?

Thank you, Funke.

My proposal is taking you away from
working in a dump like this.

To working in a brand spanking new
establishment.

This place is not a dump.

Go on.

And I'll tell you what. I'll give you 25
% more than that man standing right

there. Oh, okay.

So, when do you want me to start?
Because this slave master makes me get

before the sun.

Okay. I'll give you an afternoon shift.

Afternoon?

When do you want me to start?

Funke, I've done what I've done for you.

Tony. It's not personal.

It's business.

This offer is too attractive for me to
turn down.

There you go. I've got a contract right
there.

Pass me a pen.

But you haven't heard my offer yet.

Offer? Tony, you don't do offers.

Ask the customers here. You'll never do
offers.

I'll pay you double.

Don't listen to him. He's all talk.

And I'll lower your hour.

Look, I want a promotion.

Make me a manager.

Funke, I am the manager.

Eh, make me a deputy.

Deputy manager.

But it's only you and me in here anyway.

Oh, sorry, you don't understand.

In a Nigerian society, titles matter.

The director, the chief executive
director, the this, the that. How can I

people that I am a rich man?

Ah, look.

Let people know.

I'll call you a supervisor.

You see, Funky, this man don't
appreciate your excellence.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll give you 75 % more pay and I'll
make you my official deputy manager.

Okay. Okay, I'll match that offer.

Okay.

I can get you like this.

Funky, think widely.

We've come so far.

Mine's a new venture, Funky.

Gigi's is the place, it's the future.

Look, Tony.

You gave me this job when I needed it
most.

But I'm working so hard making this job.

I'll accept your offer on only one
condition.

Go on.

You hire a new assistant for me.

If you get an assistant, then you'll
stay?

Of course not. Then we have a deal.

Yeah.

So what do we do now?

We start by chucking him out.

Jessica is the girl for me.

From her hair, her lips, her nostrils,
her eyes.

Can't you see the chemistry?

Yeah, man, I can see it leaping from the
screen.

So when are you actually going to go and
talk to this girl instead of drooling

over her every single night?

Well, I'm working on it.

See, I've got a game plan.

Oh, wait.

I think I've heard this before.

Oh, yeah.

Last year.

You need to stop being delusional, man.
She's a year older than you.

But I'm taller than last year.

Five inches.

Why don't you just stick to people in
your own league?

Like your lover, Sandy. Don't mention
her name.

She creeps me out.

Besides, I only want Jessica.

So, Toby, why don't you tell me, how are
you going to get a girl a

year above you and way, way, way out of
your league?

I don't know.

Maybe there's some information on her
profile.

Interests. Dance.

Religion, dance.

Boyfriends, dancers.

Bruh, I think she likes to dance. And
let's face it, you ain't no Chris Brown.

Chris Brown?

I'm a lover.

He's not a fighter. Okay, okay, Justin
Bieber.

Whoa, he's got nothing on me.

I've got the swag and the skills.

Skills?

Skills?

Do you remember your last performance in
the assembly?

How terrible you was. When all these
guys around me were going, man.

That guy's got some epileptic thing
going on. Okay, but he got me out of

didn't he? True.

But I'm going to tell you as a friend,
bruv.

If you're going to get this girl, it's
not going to be because of your moves.

We'll see, innit?

Don't worry, man.

I got this.

Oh, yeah?

Number one.

Come over.

This is not going to work.

Instead of cooking, you will be flirting
with the customers.

Get out.

Go. I don't want you.

Number two.

What is wrong with you?

How can you come to a dump looking like
this?

Are you homeless?

Yeah.

I just came to see if there was any free
food.

Cheapskates. Does this place look like
your homeless shelter?

Look, go to the cafe next door. We are
all the tramps. Go.

Really? Go.

Okay.

Where am I going to find a decent
kitchen assistant now?

Hi.

I'm Glory.

I'm here for the kitchen assistant job.

Modest looking.

Good size.

You are not homeless, are you?

Oh, no.

But I am willing and able to do whatever
you want.

Really? Absolutely.

I will wait hand and foot on you.

Really? Oh, you bloody dog. You bloody
dog.

OK,

Kev. I'm ready.

Play the music.

I got this.

You sure?

Yeah, man.

You're about the dance master.

Ralph,

stop. Ralph, stop.

Oh, I'm hurting you, right? Stop it, no,
you're not there. I'm hurting you with

my... Please.

What are you doing?

It's too much for you, isn't it? No.

Oh, no, Jesus.

What is Bosley saying, my son?

Huh?

Why are you having an epileptic fit?

It was Bosley.

Bosley, my friend, if you want to know
Bosley, move aside.

Kevin, play that music.

Bosley, Michael Jackson.

Can I pass the mic?

What are you doing?

My back.

Man, I'm not going to impress her with
this.

What am I going to do now?

Bruv, don't worry.

I know the perfect guy.

Another thing you need to know about
working in this cafe is that we are

very busy all the time.

And we have to work very hard.

For instance, now, this coffee machine,
you need to clean it every...

Oh, I've done that already.

I see.

Oh, OK.

I have a very big order for sandwiches,
which I'm... All done.

And at the end of the day...

You sweep and mop. Well, it's mopped and
whacked.

Funky, I need some more of your soup.

It's just so tasty.

Wow, Funky.

This soup of yours seems to be really
popular.

You know, I'm a woman of many talents.

I'm sure it tastes good too.

What's the secret?

I can't let you know.

This has been a recipe that has been
handed down to me from generation after

generation. Ah, from the shores of
Ekiti's land to the streets of

Enjoy.

So, Funke, tell me a bit more about
yourself.

Are you married?

Married? Eh, what?

Mind your own business.

And go and face your cleaning. Go, go.

Go.

Funky.

It's looking good in here.

It's sparkling clean.

You see?

You see how much things have improved
since I became the deputy manager?

Have you been to the cafe next door?

Nobody in there.

And what about this new assistant? You
sure she's not doing all the work?

She's okay.

A little bit slow.

I think we can manage with her.

Hi,

Tony.

I'm Glory, your new kitchen assistant.

Then what has happened to your clothes?

Your glasses?

I see things a lot clearer now.

And I like what's in front of me.

Funke, you didn't tell me your new
assistant had such fine credentials.

So, Tony, what can I get you?

Those plates are going to wash
themselves.

I asked you to wash them. I will, Funke.

But can't you see?

I'm helping the manager.

Manager, eh?

Did he hire you?

Now, hurry up and go and wash those
plates.

Funke, don't talk to her like that.
You've got two hands, haven't you?

It's like that now, eh?

I see. As you always say to me, Funke.

Don't jealous me.

Jealous. Me dead lost.

Funky, what's wrong with the soup today?

It's making me sick.

There's nothing wrong with my soup.

The soup is perfect.

Well, that is the fifth complaint we've
had today.

Who asked you?

Pony Teddy, I think you're going to have
to pull this soup from the menu.

It's the only reason people come here.

Well, I'm going to tell everyone about
your dodgy soup.

And I'm going to tell them all to go to
Gigi's Cafe.

At least there you don't get poisoned.

You're a successful business owner.

Don't let her ruin your reputation.

You think I'm a success?

Well... As a successful business owner,
Funke, I am making the executive

decision of pulling your soup off the
menu.

Tony, now I see that you are really more
stupid than you look.

After all I have done for you and this
cafe, is that how you treat my soup? You

have no right to speak to the manager
like that.

Shut up, you decibelized crap!

Funke, you must stop all that talk or I
will suspend you.

You cannot talk to our staff and my
beloved like that.

Suspend. Suspend me. Oh, Tony. Is this
how you treat me?

You don't need to suspend me because I
quit.

Yes. And I will go over to JJ's cafe
next door where my talents will be

appreciated. Yes.

Where's the secret weapon that's going
to teach me my dance moves?

Don't worry.

He'll be here. He will be here.
Especially when I mention money was

Well, you might need to hurry up because
I may have texted Jessica and told her

there's a little dance -off tonight.

You did what?

Well, it was the only way I could get
her interested.

Here he is.

The one.

The only.

Cousin Femi.

Bella!

Cozzy Femi is here.

What's up?

What's up?

So what is it about learning how to
dance?

And you didn't call me.

Don't you know that I was in the debunch
dance group in college?

All right, Cozzy Femi. Well, show me
what you got.

Kevin, you're forgetting something.

Payment. What?

Payment.

Don't worry, man. Don't worry. I got
you. You got me? Yeah, I got you, man.

Don't worry, man.

Move away, guys. It's going to be
difficult.

Are you just going to look at me? Can't
you help your cousin?

Move this thing!

Lovely, lovely, okay.

Right, then.

This is going to be very, very intense.

Say it!

Intense? Intense! Intense!

One,

two, three, go!

To the left. To the right.

Then you...

Have you got it? Yeah yeah Ready?

Yeah

Impressing girls with our dog's moves.

No pee skills.

Actually, Kev, this is pretty cool. It
might work. Kevin, feel the beats, man.

Come on.

Bro, God help you, man.

It's just going to be okay.

Simeon!

They said they no longer need my
assistance.

So I guess you've come back here wanting
a job back?

Me? To come and work with you?

With that woman?

But I don't understand, you know?

That place is jam -packed. I don't know
why they don't need my services.

Really? Tony, all your customers have
gone there.

Well, that's no thanks to you and that
soup.

I've got to get my customers back.

It's OK.

I'll help.

Are you sure it's not all this romancing
that's causing the customer to fall

sick? And not my soup.

Anyway, I've come to pack my things.

Operation Sub -Sabotage. Okay.

Stay away from there.

Gloria, what is JJ's cafe's apron doing
in your bag? You shouldn't be going

through my things.

What about this vinegar?

Gloria, what's going on?

Tony, call the police.

Or even Graham's cafe.

Or GD's for short.

So all this... All this was a... Was a
set -up?

I thought you liked me.

You're right.

You should be so lucky.

So you did all this because you were
threatened by my cafe?

The cafe?

You were threatened by my soup.

Funky, I think you should call the
police.

Police. Police call. Police me.

And you deal with this Jezebel myself.

Personally. Oh, she should have thought
about it before she messed up with Funke

Fabulous. Oh, yeah.

Oh!

I'm sorry, Funke.

You saved me. You saved me from that
woman. You saved the business.

Look, someone has to look after you.

There are plenty of Jezebels out there
looking to find themselves a successful

businessman.

Oh, so you think I'm a success?

Did I say that? You must have slipped
from my mouth.

Tony, if you ever insult my cooking and
my soup again, I will show you

Pepe. I will destroy your sight of Ferry
Road.

Auntie, thank you so much for allowing
me to use your cafe for our dance.

Cool project.

Cool project, eh?

Do you think I'm that stupid?

Look, you have only 20 minutes to make
it count.

Thank you so much, Auntie. I owe you
one.

They're coming, man. Get ready, man.

What's up ladies?

Hi, first of all.

Yeah, so let's see this new dance then.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, here we go.

Introducing the one, the only, dancing
machine that is Toby Addy Banjo!

Kev? Yeah man, sorry, I'm trying.

So sorry about him. He's so
embarrassing.

I'm free if you guys ever want to go out
on a date. No, actually, this is kind

of cool.

This could be like the new dance crane.

Yeah, that's what I was saying.

Oh, my gosh, thank you for showing me
this new dance, Toby. I'm going to show

Andy. He's the back -end dancer for One
Direction.

Andy? Yes, Andy, my boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

Ha ha!