Original subtitles

Gladdy, I am fed up. Why won't you be fed up? When you go and squander our

on fake property in Lekki.

Gladdy, will you always be a messenger of the past?

Can't you see how hard I've been trying?

I have filled out two application forms today. Two!

And I've been calling the recruitment agency all day.

Bayo, we need to pray.

That's what we always say. But we need to pray and then pay.

No. Today is Halloween, and I feel it in my spirit. Something is not right.

So what do you suggest?

You know what?

Let's invite Pastor Graham round for spiritual guidance. Pastor Graham?

Are you sure?

Do you remember Sister Shola?

Shola? Isn't she selling big issues? The one that's homeless?

Yes, she was. But after Pastor Graham prayed and interceded for her, she now

lives in a five -bedroom mansion in Old Kent Road. Huh?

Pastor Graham.

What is your schedule today?

I can't wait for tonight. This rave is going to be so live.

You get me, though. What are you wearing?

Vintage Primani, baby.

Vintage? Let me see.

Let me see yours first.

What the heck, Tanika?

I told you I was going to get that top.

Yeah, but I can't help if it looks better on me.

Pepper.

Skank! Anyways, I didn't realise you were coming until like last night.

How did you convince your parents to let you go?

I told my mum I was staying at your place. I told my mum I was staying at

What did you expect me to do? You know how my parents get.

Nadia, get down here and watch this happen.

See what I mean?

I'll see you later tonight for the, um, study evening.

So, Shadi, my darling, where are you going tonight?

Mum, you know how focused me and Tanika have been on our exam?

Well, we've decided to get together and organise a study evening.

Wow, Shadi, I'm impressed.

We're getting all the smartest people in the class together and they're going to

teach us.

Now, that's my daughter. Hey, you think I'm ashamed of?

Exactly.

We're going to study really late into the night. Late night study.

You're very hard -working.

Mum, we're not even going to sleep.

It's like you say, candle burning.

So, expect me back tomorrow.

But don't worry, it'll be before church.

You know I've got to pray about these exams.

Toby!

Toby, what did you call it again?

A midnight rave.

Devil's midnight rave, Mum.

Toby, you snitch!

So you want to go to a demonic party?

My friend, you're not going anywhere. Mum, you can't do this to me.

Watch me.

Mum, please.

I said no.

Hey, it's Kevin C in the place of B.

What's up? Family, yosha today.

Hi, Mr. Danny Banjo.

Oh.

You're up for trick -or -treating tonight, Rob. I've got this sick monster

costume. Are you going trick -or -treating?

Mum? Hmm? How come Toby gets to go trick -or -treating and I can't even go to

my... to my study party?

What are you on about?

We're not going to... Excuse me, what's all this talk about trick -or -treating?

Mum, they dress up as monsters and go around throwing eggs and toilet roll at

old people.

Look, Mum, we're just going to hang out. We're not doing any of that.

You're not doing anything.

Because tonight, we're having family prayer meeting.

Prayer meeting?

Yeah, that's right. Prayer meeting.

What's a prayer meeting?

Remember when you saw my auntie Fonke do this?

I must find a husband! Husband must come to me now!

Bayo, can you take your sleeping somewhere?

If you're going to loiter in the living room, at least make yourself useful.

Gladdy, Gladdy, if you want to come upstairs, I can show you how useful I

be. You just woman.

Ah, ah, Pastor.

Peace unto this house of glory.

Pastor Michael.

You are welcome, Pastor.

Thank you. You are welcome.

How about Pastor Graham?

Pastor Graham is on an important mission.

But in his absence, I, his humble assistant, am able to feel the voice.

You're welcome, sir. You're welcome.

Thank you.

Brother Bayo, we don't see you at church anymore.

Work. A man has to work, my friend.

Working on Sunday.

Bayo, what would the Lord think?

It may be the cause of your financial distress.

Pastor. It's been tough. It's been really tough. And I know why.

You have left the offering bowl empty for too long.

See, if you pay your tithe, daily success will be your portion.

And your pastor will not be working security.

Preach, Pastor.

I have been telling him, but instead he uses our money to buy fake land. Gladdy,

Gladdy, Gladdy. Can't you see that the man of God has traveled a long way?

Please, go to the kitchen and fetch him something to drink. I need to discuss

with the assistant pastor.

Thank you, dad.

That's my girl.

That's my girl. Dear, dear.

Potato.

Pastor, you mentioned security.

Did I? Yes, you did.

Are there any vacancies? I need the extra work. My brother, I don't think

I don't think so. Pastor.

Pastor.

If you can help me get this done, if you can help me, I will start paying her. I

should have said.

That's me.

That's me. Number one. Number one. There's only one like you. Only one. I

you. Maybe, maybe there's something I can do. Thank you. Thank you. I remember

the last time I helped you get this.

Housing job.

I did not see it. The church did not see a single penny.

Pastor, they say that patience is a virtue. And your pastor is patiently

for his Maybach instead of riding around in this oyster cart.

Pastor, mark my word. I am marking. Mark my word. I will mark it. This time, I

will pay.

Okay, let's get down to business.

Okay. What will be your pledge of faith? Ten pounds a month. Ten pounds a month.

Will you insult the Lord? No.

Ten pounds. Look how the Lord has blessed you. With this fine clothes.

Thank you.

With this fine wife.

Thank you very much.

Your wife is fine. Thank you. With this beautiful wife. Thank you.

With some beautiful children.

We praise the Lord. Come on, let's be serious.

What will be your real pledge? Fifty -five pounds, ninety -nine pounds.

not enough, brother. Come on, say five hundred. Five hundred. If you want to

kill me, Pastor.

I should have bought a Honda.

I should have bought a Honda.

Have you the spirit?

Where? In this house? In this house.

From the east to the west. From Peckham High Street to your living room. Brother

Bayo, do you want to be blessed? I want to be blessed. Kneel down, Brother Bayo.

Brother Bayo, kneel.

Brother Bayo, do you want to be blessed? Yes, please. Say, I want to be blessed.

I need money. I need 500 pounds. 500 pounds. 500 pounds.

500 pounds. 500 pounds. 300 pounds. 300 pounds.

Going once. Going twice.

Going three times. Going twice.

200 pounds.

I'll take it.

Thank you. Thank you, Pastor.

Okay, just put your national insurance, your mother's middle name,

your blood type. Blood type? What do you mean my blood type? Just in case you

pass, we'll now use your blood form.

God forbid I pass. Amen.

That's good.

Anyway, call my guy.

Thank you, Pastor. Live on the earth securely.

Thank you, Pastor.

You are welcome.

Hello?

Hello? Yes, I am calling for the security job.

Yes.

Pastor Michael said I should call. That's right.

Yes. How fit am I? I am very fit.

Very, very strong.

Too strong, in fact. Yes.

Mr. Muscles and all.

I can start tonight?

Tonight? Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yes, sir. Thank you very much. Yes.

Gladdy. Gladdy. No more money problem.

I now have an extra job working security.

Security? That's right.

Pastor Michael interceded and I start tonight.

Not pastor.

I'm not sure about him. He's been acting so strange.

Gladie, do not talk about the Lord's holy anointed like that. He is a blessed

man. This job pays very well.

Isn't there an age limit to that sort of job? Age limit?

Age limit?

They were impressed by my overall fitness level and my stamina.

You know me. I'm not afraid of danger.

So, where is this job? Brixton.

Brixton?

You know they're shooting and mugging in that area now.

Potato, Potato, if I see trouble, I will let them take what they want and I will

run. Let them take the cash and go. I'm not trying to be a hero.

Hi,

Pastor Michael.

Toby. How are you doing?

Yeah, I'm all right.

Toby, what's wrong?

We can't go trick -or -treating.

That's good.

Trick -or -treating is against the law. I mean, last year, demonic boys around

your age chased me around with eggs.

It's not funny, though, going home smelling of rotten egg and flour.

Am I a cake?

That is so choked, Michael. Kevin, you do not call African adults by their

names. Call me Pastor.

Evangelist.

Reverend. Bishop.

Pope, Michael.

Anyways, how come we have not been seeing you at church these days?

Because last time I came, you kept praying and pushing my head to the

Well, if you were not resisting the power of the Lord, I would not have had

use extra force.

Anyway, anyway.

Sister Gladys.

Peace, Pope.

Can I ask you a very quick favour?

You see, the church has been experiencing a bit of a leak.

So I was wondering if we could use your place for prayer meeting tonight.

Pastor, I'm honored.

In fact, we were planning to have family prayer tonight.

That's good.

But now I'm not sure if everyone will fit here.

Sister, I know. I know your place is small. But even if we have to lap each

other, we'll make it work.

Anything for the church.

Anyway, I must leave.

Rosita, before I leave, could you pack me a cooler of Pastor Graham's usual, a

kousi, pounded yam, chicken, beef, assorted

stew, a four, jollof,

gari, and lastly, amaranth.

Pastor, this is not Gladys' all -you -can -eat buffet. Sister, it is the

work. Anyway, peace be unto this house. I retire.

Oh my gosh, Tanika. She totally flipped out.

Yeah. And my stupid brother made it worse by butting in his big nose.

Don't worry. I'm definitely still coming.

Naked. Naked.

I knew it. I knew it. Look at her trying to sneak out of the house.

Bad girl.

Well, I wouldn't have to sneak out if somebody didn't open their big mouth.

Tell Mum and you're dead.

Oh, yeah?

And what will my silence get me?

Your life.

You're a very generous sister.

So when are you getting naked?

Get out!

Sneaker, meet me in Camberwell in 30 minutes, yeah?

I'm going to try and sneak out as soon as the coast is clear.

All right.

Bye.

Shadi, where have you been? Come and help me get ready for prayer meeting.

Mum, I'm ill.

What's wrong?

I don't know. I'm just feeling really, really ill.

I think I need to sleep it off.

Okay, well, get some rest.

I know you wanted to go out to that devilish party.

But Shadi, just remember, I'm doing what's best for you.

Shadi, your cover smells.

Let me take it off and replace it, son.

Mum!

Let's go now.

Mum, it's my favourite cover.

First you want to not let me go out and now you want to take away my favourite

cover. OK, OK, OK.

Have it your own way.

But remember, get some rest.

Mummy loves you, eh?

My first night of security.

Which socks will make the right impression?

Shadi, why are you being so sifty?

Dad,

are those my pink socks?

They are red.

Whatever.

Where are you going in that overcoat?

I'm going to a study sleepover.

I know where you're going.

Yeah, she's already agreed.

It's all been sorted.

OK.

Are you wearing perfumes?

No, Dad, it's air freshener.

I had too much ground rice earlier.

Is that make -ups?

Dad, it's Vaseline.

Vaseline? For my dry skin.

And high heels.

Shadi, what's going on?

Um...

Hello? Hello? Yes, yes, I'll be there. I'll be there, yes. Punctual, yes.

I have to leave for work.

Dad, we might order some pizza this evening.

Can I have some money, please?

Why don't you just make a pizza here and then take it with you?

Oh, OK, OK, OK.

Turn around.

Sharp, sharp.

Yeah.

Here.

But what if I need a taxi?

Then call your mother.

Welcome to this house of glory. Hallelujah.

It is well attended by the faithful few in the flock.

God bless you. God bless you, Sister Gladys. She has accommodated us and also

prepared some succulent.

Why, enjoy the head, God.

Before we continue, what time is it?

traffic warden officer.

My manager wanted to penalize me for coming only 45 minutes late.

45 minutes.

He was punished by having malaria on his holiday.

Praise the Lord.

Amen.

They were shut down.

By full standard agencies.

It's something to do with rats on the premises.

The Lord has delivered me from all wickedness. He has delivered me from the

wickedness. Amen.

Amen.

Amen. Amen.

Okay,

you ready yeah, but you sure this is gonna work of course the feet the gates

hell I've opened on them

Simon, you shall not succeed. I bind you! I bind you!

I bind you!

I bind you! I bind you! I bind you!

Kevin!

Kevin!

Kevin, these are the bellious monkeys.

Kevin, what were you even thinking?

We thought it'd be funny.

No, Mum. He thought it would be funny.

I will funny your head.

What?

I don't know what you are carrying in this belly, but today, today, I will

it out.

No, pastor.

You will squeeze it out.

I don't want to have a pump on my head.

Dad!

Balance.

Shadi, are you not supposed to be rector of death?

Do you know where I caught your daughter?

In the club where I was working security.

Shadi.

What's that nonsense on your head? Look at that. Look at that.

And what are you wearing underneath the coat?

I'm in my house!

Jesus!

I don't understand.

What are you supposed to be? A cat?

Balance.

Stupid girl.

I'm just about to leave. Goodbye.

About that £200 we spoke about before. Any chance on my advance payment?

My friend, I've only just started the job. Can't you wait until payday?

It's called commission.

Look who's here.

Ah, peace be unto this house of glory. How are you?

Brother Michael.

What are you doing here?

I was just doing the Lord's work.

Pastor Michael was just collecting the church offering. Is the check okay?

What is this liberty?

You have no right to take money from my members.

You are an usher. Usher? I was just operating in faith. Last week you said

believe, we'll achieve. Pastor, I'll just achieve.

Michael. Yes, Pastor.

Get out.

Get out, my friend.

And Gladys, what about my cooler?

Get out!