Original subtitles

Oh.

Ugh! Ugh!

Get up!

I like drinking rum.

And you can call me a gosh darn bum.

Who are you anyway?

You're nothing.

Ain't nothing to me.

If you like drinking beer, I do.

Then you can come over here.

We ain't doing nothing at all. We're just...

Being big, rumbling bums.

You hear it on the radio. You hear it on the stereo.

Everybody's always looking for love.

I've already got some.

You better get some.

Get some of that good green love, yeah.

Get some of that good green love, yeah.

Well, I like rolling it up.

It's for 20 when I wake up.

If you don't like the smell, you can go straight to hell.

$4 .50.

It's all there.

Thank you.

I've already got some.

You better get some.

Get you something that could bring love, yeah.

Get you something that could bring love, yeah.

Nice to see you made it to work, fat ass.

Really? Dude, you smell like skunk taint.

Nice.

What did you do? Hit up the clinic booth on the ride in to work this morning?

Damn, you smell like ass.

How is it even possible for you to be late for work when you have no fucking

breaks anyway, bro? Shouldn't you be like a week early?

Well, I see Superbad and Mr. T are on their games this morning.

Fuck.

I gotta get back to this lady on hold. I'll catch up with you two at lunch.

Good morning.

It ain't that good.

I know. Yeah, well, no hot water this morning and I don't have my coffee.

I got your back.

You are a lifesaver. Thank you.

I know that.

I can't help you with that nappy head, though. Coming here looking like

Bob or something on your head. I know, right?

What did you do on this weekend?

Probably nothing.

Brian's got a game on Friday night, so I'll probably just run a movie or

something. You want to go check out that reggae club?

You know you need a night out.

Yeah.

Thank you for calling Cardholder Services.

How may I assist you?

I can't use my card at the store. Why, yes.

We can take care of that transaction.

I just need the last four numbers of your social security number, please.

Social? I didn't need my social.

Okay.

Sir? Mr.

Johnson, I cannot look up your account without the last four numbers of your

social security number.

Yes.

I got your name from your caller ID.

No.

No, sir.

I cannot get your social security number from the caller ID.

I am positive.

Yes, I wish I could, too.

Okay.

Well, have a good day, sir.

Thank you for calling Cardholder Services.

How may I help you?

Ryan,

you made a GAN?

Uh,

yeah, sorry, the computer took a while to boot up. You've got to be kidding me,

man. You know that's the second time this week.

Is it? You know, I forgot to check the scoreboard.

Scoreboard. You know, my motto is, if you're early, you're on time. If you're

time, then you're late.

No, sir, not you.

Yes, no, that transaction will go through for you in just a moment.

And if there's anything else I can do for you, please just let me know. Thank

you.

Okay,

nice talking to you, Brian.

Peace it out, man. Fucking dipshit.

What's up, man? You get your daily visits from Satan's do -boy?

Whatever. Okay, sir.

Yes, is your wife there next to you? Not fortunate. Great, let me talk to her.

Hello, Mrs. Anderson.

This is Charles Barkley from Cardholder Services.

Really? No, not that one.

The reason why we're calling is because your cards have been declined because

there have been several hundred charges from...

supergayxxxporn .com?

Yeah. Yes, ma 'am.

I suspect Mr. Anson may have a little explaining to do, so I'll let you get

to that.

Glad I could help you, ma 'am. Have a pleasurable day.

There's no porn charges, dude.

There's always porn charges. Besides, you'll be smacking his balls for the

month, so I won't even have to worry about it.

Thank you for calling Cardholder Services. How may I help you?

Dude, don't forget Friday League at the park. I'm gonna go Kobe on that.

Later, man.

Hey babe.

Hey, how was your day?

Same as always.

Me too.

Unbelievable.

What?

Everything.

If I've got to spend one more day, I've got to make up some excuse not to go to

work tomorrow.

Why? One more day there. One more. I'm just going to go postal on their

Like the clinic is any better?

I barely make $10 an hour and I do things people don't even think about

I guess.

What's your excuse going to be this time?

Probably some bullshit like my grandmother died or some shit. That's

You're an asshole.

Whatever. Well, I'm going to go play some Warcraft while you're watching this

educational programming.

have some of those gnomes and night elves.

Logging on.

No fucking whack time.

Video card. Best you can buy.

Have the fear. Then you'll be a damn crime.

We're making all the news right.

Dungeon Rage PvP.

I'm a rogue, so you don't see me.

Ocean house full of shit I've found.

Once it sells, I'll get my epic find. We are the Dolphins of the digital time.

Fighting for freedom in a magical time.

For my girlfriend, a couple of farmers.

Buy some gold and some orange peaches.

They don't exist, but that just makes it harder.

For my friend, she's a real granddad then.

Get enchanted with a glow.

That way everybody knows.

Get locked and all closed doors.

When I'm done, parade iron ball.

We are the soldiers of the digital time.

Fighting for freedom in a land before time.

Garrett, backstab, vanish.

I'm fucking out of here.

Can't catch me.

Fighting for freedom in a land full of time.

When I'm on, I'm always on, and when I die, it's lag.

Azeroth is my kingdom, it's where I raise my flag.

Fuck, you don't like it?

Find a plane, nudes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck, fuck.

Fuck, fuck.

Hello? Oh, oh, yeah.

No.

No, sorry, I meant to call earlier.

Um, yeah, my grandmother passed away, so I won't be coming into work today.

I've got family things to deal with.

Yeah.

No, can I get a double cheeseburger and a small fry?

Holy shit!

What the fuck?

What the fuck, old man?

What are you doing stopping in the middle of the street anyhow?

Seriously?

All right, listen, let's just exchange insurance information and be fucking

with this. I'm not giving my information to these punks.

Are you fucking kidding me?

those are all the details to your mother's estate and just let me know

son wants to do with the house.

Well, maybe you could call Brian. We haven't talked to him for a few weeks,

since the funeral. Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, this is Brian Miller.

Yeah, this is Todd, buddy. I'm handling your grandmother's estate.

Listen, buddy, I got some good news and some bad news.

The good news is your grandma left her house.

And the bad news is it's in a deed -restricted community for active

I mean, nobody under 55 and older. What the hell does that mean?

It means we're not moving into Del Boca Vista Phase 3 anytime soon.

Well, I mean, we can't sell it because the market blows right now.

Dude, you're shit out of luck on that one.

Honey, I think this is going to cost us more than we have.

You could just be, old people.

Dude.

Dude.

Dude.

I mean, the house is paid for, and we could, theoretically, actually live

until we are 55.

Give me one too, babe.

You know, it's a little more complicated than that.

We don't exactly look old.

Well, I mean, I can grow some facial hair, and you just make some fake

with makeup.

Yeah.

These people are spending their grandkids' inheritance on facelifts and

shopping, Kim.

I mean, just tell them you're using some miracle skin care.

I don't mean to be negative, but what if we get caught?

What are the condo cops going to do? I mean, like, worst case scenario, we get

kicked out and we're back at this crack shack?

Yes.

Dude, have you ever thought this out?

Cause you know, ultimately ain't got nothing better to do than to get off in

your business, trying to figure out everything there is to know about your

ass.

Game, bitches!

Dammit! The basket, invented by the Americans, is made perfect by a

Fuck off!

Dickhead! White beater!

What the fuck was that frog talking about?

Fucking dude, aliens, right?

Okay, dude.

Dying your hair white and growing facial cubes ain't gonna be enough.

You can't just walk up in there a week after your grandma dies and move in.

like throwing yourself in some chummy water in a shark tank.

What do you mean?

How long has your grandma even been there?

I don't know, like 10, 15 years at least?

Dude, once you're 55, man, 10 years might as well be a century, dude.

Exactly, bro.

Everyone's probably waiting to see who's gonna die next.

So?

So, so that means that your house is their house.

Well, at least until you move in.

They've probably been talking shit about your grandma ever since she died. I

mean, wonder who's going to move into her spot on God's waiting list.

I mean, they have to figure the house is going to a family member. An under 55

family member. Right. So what you need to do is... No, what you need to do is

pretend to buy the place.

Whatever you do, man, just don't give me the government.

What is... What is my government?

Dude, your government's your real name. You need to make sure to keep that shit

on the DL.

Alright, thanks, Eminem.

That way, it looks like you're old enough to live there, but that you're

related.

Okay, so, uh, so how do we do this?

Dude, get a fucking ugly wig.

No, no, no. Add some baby powder on it? Yeah!

That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard.

So I think we have a solution for the house What do you mean solution?

Well, it's not like you can live there And renting it out could be a great

source of income for you.

I don't know. I mean, what with the maintenance and the complaints and the

chasing down rent money. I mean, to me it sounds like full -time work for part

-time pay. We can't lift the house. In this economy, it would be pointless.

It's pretty much your only option, son.

There is another way.

Like?

Let's just say I have a plan and everything will work out.

To Bill Cosby? Yeah.

That's a wonderful combination.

Cooked some cabbage, didn't have no meat.

And she sold them on 35th Street.

All four could run and get the glass.

Kept a Jew from a two black bag.

Say mama killed a chicken and she thought he was a duck.

Morning table with his heel cocked up.

All four could run and get the glass.

Kept a Jew from a two black bag.

Hello,

I'm Chuck Taylor. You must be the Smiths.

Good guess, Dickhead.

We are the Smiths.

Excellent.

So as you can see, it's got a nice walk -in kitchen.

Uh, yeah, you can cut the bullshit now, man.

Sorry, dude.

He's a friggin' fishbowl, man.

Yeah, I'll tell you what, this is the strangest place I've ever actually

to live in.

Better you than me.

So as long as you buy from a legit real estate company, no one will suspect a

thing.

I can't believe we're doing this.

So as you can see, it's a little small but roomy, so you won't have any

complaints there.

Besides, you'll probably die soon anyway, right? Dude!

We'll take it.

I mean, at least it's hot, right?

Whatever. I can't take any more of this shit.

What, have you had that one a lot?

No, not the dinner.

Yes, the dinner. No!

I mean, everything.

Like, the power's getting turned off, the food, the gas.

It's just... I don't know.

I know, Kim, but what the fuck are we going to do?

I mean, we both work.

It's not like there's a ton of jobs out there for the taking.

Listen, there's a lot of people screwed right now. It's not just us.

Yeah, but I can't take any more of this. Something seriously has to give.

Well, hopefully we can crash at my grandmother's for a few months before

everybody knows what's up. Hey, a few years, even better.

I just don't know if we can pull this off.

A wig and some dollar menu clothes, I just don't think it's going to work.

Well, no.

You can't just throw on a wig and some zoot suits and expect to pull this off.

No, we've really got to take it to the next level.

I mean, we've got to take action, Kim.

We've got to get within ourselves and find that person and just say, I'm old.

And I'm tired.

And I just don't give a fuck anymore.

Okay.

It was epic, man. All these itty bitty guys watching at us from all directions.

It was like some watch in the woods shit. More like walker in the woods.

Yeah, I got to go holler at my boy. I'll catch you later.

Come on, guys.

It ain't like that. Hey, I don't even know this guy. I've got to call you

Man, nice one, Chuck.

Hey, come here. Hey, wait a minute, man.

I've got to talk to you. You got a minute? Yeah, what's up, man? Let me

this chair over here.

I've been meaning to talk to you.

Do you think you could maybe help me out?

Teach me how to talk to chicks so that when I get within 50 feet of a vagina,

you know, Mr. Winky doesn't go crazy over here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

First off, if you keep calling him Mr. Winky, we ain't going to be hanging out

within 50 feet of each other.

Well, maybe we could just go out one night, and I could be like your wingman.

All right, Goose, just as long as you don't tell anybody you're my boss when

hit the club. Otherwise, I'll say you're gay.

Oh.

Hey, wait a minute. He didn't mean that.

Damn it, here you go again.

What the hell are you doing?

What?

You're right.

Your mom always does call back.

Why you gotta talk about my mama?

She's a very classy lady.

It's true.

Anyway, congratulations.

You look ridiculous.

Old, but ridiculous.

I think it looks kind of cool.

You realize you can't come into work every day dressed like the KFC guy and

away with it.

Boss Hogg ain't going to let that chicken fly around in this town.

Look, if you're going to live on Heaven's Doorstep, you need to figure

to bring in some cash flow without having to come into purgatory every day.

You ever think about that?

Well, I have, actually.

And I've got a little something on my sleeve.

Well, you better expedite that plan, brother.

Brian! What's up, boss man?

Brian! Now, what's with this getup?

You trying to bag yourself with a little Silver Fox or something?

Um, Silver Fox is a dude.

Yeah, Brian.

I know.

Uh -huh.

Anyway, listen, Brian. Seriously, man.

That's not why I'm here. You know, management has some serious issues with

falsely accusing...

These cardholders of gay porn charges, casinos, hotel

rooms, whatever else you can think of.

Sounds a lot more like your monthly statement.

You know, you've got an answer for everything, Brian. You know, but on top

everything else, these outfits that you wear, these accents.

One day you're Crocodile Dundee. The next minute, the next day, I mean,

Luke Duke.

Who knows what we can expect from you? We don't know. The cardholders sure

know. You know, they're getting ready to shit -can your ass, and there's not a

damn thing I can do about it. As a matter of fact, I think I'll be laughing

at... Slide your young ass right out the door, Brian.

Gross. No, come on. It's not what it sounds like.

Oh, God.

Brian, all I'm saying, dude, is this is your last warning.

So far so good.

55 and older community, and yeah.

So you went local for some free rent in Jeritol?

It's not that bad, actually.

That boy's got you twisted. Let's go to work, Mrs. Doubtfire.

Okay.

So, I think I'm going to get fired.

What?

Yeah. I mean, douchebag came by my little three -by -three corner of hell

and really gave me the rundown.

What did he say?

Oh, you know, lots of stuff.

He's had it in for me since I started there.

I thought you started it before him.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, he did that.

Two. Um, anyway.

Then he's always had it in for me since he started.

Whatever.

I hate that guy.

But, look, it's okay because I've already looked into alternative forms of

income.

Like what?

Well, for starters, unemployment.

No, you are not going to sit on your ass all day long while I go to work looking

like Paula Deen every day.

Just for a little while.

I mean, until things pick up again.

It's tough out there with this economy.

Man, I couldn't get problems with getting ladies with that thing.

That's what I'm talking about. Why do you think I bought the car and I still

can't close?

You're supposed to be the master.

Well, you got the ride.

Yeah, but apparently it all doesn't all come down to the ride. So let's see what

you can show me, bud. Oh, let me tell you.

Oh, wait. Hey, no, this is not what I signed up for.

There's no better place for you to get over your fear of women than at a place

like this. Yeah, but I thought maybe we'd be going to a bar, a club, uh, not

this. This what?

This porno... palace.

Holy shit.

Did you just say porno palace?

Well, that's basically what it is.

You need this place a lot more than I thought, buddy.

Hell yeah!

As long as Danny does his part, gets him good and wasted, I'm going to wear my

white suit tomorrow, just like the big boss.

And we're going to trick our little middle management dickhead into firing

Hell yeah, it'll work.

The guy is a moron.

Hey, listen, that's Danny. Let me call you right back.

Yo.

Did everything go according to plan?

Yeah, I just left them in there.

Nah, nah, I'm about to go hang out with those chicks from work.

What chicks?

Nah, the ones, the ones we were making out, dude.

Making out?

You're fucking dreaming, bro.

Dude, that happened.

No, they just walked by.

I've told you this before.

Really?

Goddamn.

I think you need to lay off the internet porn, Quagmire.

the interlock device.

You must blow into the interlock device.

Yes. Rough night?

Oh, no, no, sir. Just a lot of traffic today, sir. I'm very, very sorry.

Miller's late again.

He comes in dressed as a national on top of it?

Can't have.

That should cheer you up.

Oh, I will, sir. Thank you, sir, very much.

I'm telling you, there's something wrong here.

Come on, come on. What? Like there's fire?

Pies, really?

Well, you never know.

Afternoon, lady.

Say no more. I don't want any part of it.

We were just going for a walk.

I think I'll catch up with you ladies a little bit later, okay?

So how you feeling, hon?

Pretty okay today, but not so good other days.

So what's with the detective work?

Oh, they're curious about the new folks that moved in.

They think they're spies or something.

What the hell is there to spy on around here?

That's what I said.

But you know how they can be when they get going.

Forget about it.

Still, though, there is something a little strange about them, don't you

I don't know. I'm on borrowed time here, so I'm not trying to waste my time

thinking about that.

I can't wait for this day to be over.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, my God. Y 'all should have seen the boss at the club the other night. I

can't believe that. Oh, man. That's a mess. Straight up, he buttoned up before

he got in the door. No, he didn't. He had to change his pants. That was such a

tool. That was so bad.

All right, gentlemen.

I'll use the term loosely.

Got some bad news for you, cowboy.

Oh, hello there.

Oh, howdy.

Marty. Marty Wilhelm.

Brian Miller.

So you're moving into old Marge's house pretty quick there, huh?

Yeah. Me and the mist have been looking for a place to settle down in after we

retired. Uh -huh.

You know... Me and some of the fellas, we got a Thursday morning tea time, and

if you're interested, we could use a fort. Oh, Charlie, ever since the cancer

spread, he's not doing too well.

And Bert's out of town until the end of the month from Canada.

So... No, no, it sounds great. What time?

Well, honestly, we like to sleep in a little bit. No sense getting up too

you know what I mean?

We are retired, after all, you know? Yes, we are retired.

What time?

Uh... 6 .45.

6 .45 is sleeping in.

6 .45.

Oh, shit!

You freaked me out!

Sorry. Why the hell are we up at the back of dawn?

What the hell are you still doing in your outfit?

Gotta go play golf with the guys.

The guys?

What guys?

You mean the old dudes?

Yeah, I was invited and I thought it looked suspicious if I didn't go.

Suspicious?

Fucking hot shot.

appreciate you coming out thanks a lot marty what what are you looking at me

As soon as we caught you at bedtime, we could come back.

We were just wondering if you'd like to join us for dinner this evening at the

Rack House for Pop Luck.

They have it every Friday and everybody comes.

It would give everyone a chance to meet the new neighbors. You would just love

it. And it's at 5 o 'clock.

Okay.

Could you bring a casserole please?

Sure.

Damn. Come on.

No, man.

Not you. This is a fucking game.

Yo, we still going down to check out that place on 34th after the game?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right, partner.

Yo, man, you talking to Brian lately?

Nah, me either. For like a week at least.

Yo, man, he better be at the game tonight. We need this win to make the

playoffs.

Ah!

Dude, what the fuck you doing over there?

Well, I gotta holler at that boy and make sure he's on point.

Yeah, you pick a winner, bro.

Yeah, yeah, ha ha, dickhead.

Alright, peace.

Yo.

What's up, course, man?

Like, 7 .30?

Yo, hold on.

What the fuck?

What happened here?

I'm supposed to make a damn casserole.

Why? Some ladies came over and said that we were going to go to some community

thing and I had to make a casserole.

Hold on, hold on.

Yeah, man.

I'll have to call you back.

Okay, but what the hell is that?

We're supposed to go to Paula tonight and I'm supposed to make something and

it's ruined.

What do you mean? We're going to mingle with the neighbors tonight? I thought we

were going to take this slow.

Slow? You recall playing golf with the old guy, Flo?

Actually, yeah, a little.

Ugh, whatever.

I was panicked. I didn't know what to say. And she's, like, cornering me and

telling me I have to go do this and I have to make this casserole.

You said it'd be suspicious if we didn't go.

Listen,

I've got a game tonight, so what time is this dinner thing?

Five. Five!

Where'd you say you knew him from, Marty?

Yeah, where'd you meet that prick?

He just moved in down the street to old Marge's place.

You mean he lives in our neighborhood?

Prick?

Look, you guys, just because you can hit a golf ball.

I don't know if he's an asshole, but there is something odd about him.

Well, to be honest, I'm not arguing with you there.

Don't worry if I know my wife. The great food granny's already getting a real

deal on your boy, Tucker Woods.

You'll do fine. Just stick to the plan.

Hi.

I should have told you. It was more of a casual affair.

Um, that's no problem. Actually, we have an engagement later this evening that

requires a more refined look. Something more appropriate to the occasion.

Yeah, sure.

Who's this lovely husband of yours?

Brian Miller.

He's charming.

Um, what should I do with this?

Put it over there.

Way over there.

Okay.

Welcome. Welcome.

Hi, I'm Kim.

Your husband's quite the player.

Excuse me?

Wiped our asses on the course today, for sure.

Yeah, he used to play a lot. We just don't have the money for him to play

anymore.

Keeping him at home all weekend, eh? Must be getting boring sometimes.

Yeah, but for who?

Well, I think he's looking forward to getting out of the house more now.

He can play with Marty again, because I'm not playing with that showboat.

Don't listen to these two. They're always complaining about something.

Hi, I'm Marty. Nice to meet you, Kim.

How did you know? Everybody knows your name here. It's the nature of the beast.

Oh, okay.

Whatever.

Watch your back.

Actually,

we really do have to get going.

Sorry.

Hey, guys.

What are you off to?

Funeral. Wedding.

Actually... Well, I can certainly sympathize with that.

Marriage sometimes feels like a death sentence. Hey, Brian.

Well, we really should be getting going. Before you go, I want you to meet

someone. Give me a second.

Follow me.

Sure.

Charlie,

this is the guy I told you about.

Brian, meet Charlie.

Hi, how are you?

Doing well. Nice to meet you.

Charlie is the community activities director and he's been doing it for like

years, but It's okay Well

40 years in the construction business and all I got was this

lousy cancer out of it No,

no, it's time I've had a good run, you know, I've taken every damn pill that

can take but None of them do much good.

Well, I hope I can be as cool about it as you are when I get to that point.

That's why Charlie is the man.

Speaking of which, have you given any thought to who you're going to pass your

crown on to when you... Not really, but I will soon.

Community Activities Director is the most sought -after position here.

That's why you don't leave it so quick, right, Charlie?

Why's that?

Well, you're not only in charge of the fun, but, you know, you don't have to

answer to management at all.

Management? What do you mean, answer to management?

Well, the residents pick the activities director, and they pay his salary, and

so it's like our own little slice of democracy here, and nobody can mess with

it. Our fun is our own.

Yo, what the hell, man? Brian's usually here by now. The game starts in, like,

ten minutes.

Oh, let me call... Let me call him.

Yo, man, where you at?

You need to get over here quick.

Seven years is great. You guys are just getting started.

Thanks. We really need to get going. I'm sorry, we're already running late. No

problem, no problem.

It was nice to meet you, Charlie.

Nice to meet you.

Our pleasure. We'll see you around.

Nice kit, huh?

For sure, yeah.

I'll let the hall ask us to get there in time.

Why don't you just change and get there? I might just have to.

What the fuck is this? You brought grandpa out to play?

What the hell is this, man?

Whatever, man.

Listen, I got held up with this potluck. A potluck?

Hey, you better get it together on this one. You ain't doing this to me again.

Again?

Vegas. Yo, what happened in Vegas?

Uh... Um... Whatever, man. Um... Let's just do this now, alright?

Come on, Matlock. Before you croak.

Whatever.

Yeah, let's...

Let's put a smack down on these WDF wannabe bitches.

Get it? Yeah.

Taking Geritol today, old man?

I'm taking steroids this morning, dickhead.

Like that wasn't a fucking foul, man.

Hey, the player's got to call it. Too fucking bad.

He can't call a foul when he's got the wind knocked out of him.

Sorry, losers.

League rules.

Hey, maybe you should stick to shuffleboard, Grandpa.

Talk to me.

Brian.

Talk to me, man. Breathe, man. Breathe.

Foul?

He's charming.

But who?

Cooking?

Can we stick to the subject, please?

They left in such a hurry. All dressed up.

Supposedly some wedding?

Or so they say. I heard from a little birdie that he left alone last night

after. But he came home late. In his boxer shorts? No, I didn't hear all

They're going to the pool today.

Do you think we'll see them there?

Well, I know I'm going. It's a beautiful day.

I know. I wouldn't mind seeing them there, right, ladies?

Well, I won't argue with that.

Seriously, darling.

I was just thinking.

It will all come together soon, ladies.

They just can't get away with that forever.

Get away with what?

Whatever they're up to.

Mm -hmm.

Hello. Yeah.

Really?

That is kind of weird.

Well, it's none of my business.

I know that much.

All right, bud.

I'll see you in about 20.

Hey.

Get up.

What time is it?

It's 10 .30.

We need a toilet paper, too.

Can you go to the store?

Yeah, give me just a minute to put my Matlock on my face and I'll get going.

I'm not sure.

Maybe later.

What about the missus?

Um, yeah, I've got to go, but maybe I'll see you when I get back, ladies.

Oh, that's the one.

165.

I thought I killed that. I crushed it. You did.

You did.

Bullshit. 165?

We got any shot of beating that asshole. We're at least going to have to hit a

200.

No matter how hard I swing, I can't do it. Maybe we should just work on the

short game.

Our whole life is a short game. For once, I'd like to be the big hitter.

What does it matter?

I'm sick of these punks. Always driving their shots over ahead on the fairway.

One day before I die, I'd like to play through somebody else for a change.

What? Seriously?

No.

I'll get him. I'll get him. What kind?

I don't even know what that means.

You understand this is like the worst thing for a guy to have to fucking grab.

No. I'll get it. I'll get it.

Alright.

Yeah. I'm going to be there in a second. Alright.

Alright. Bye.

Watch it all, man.

The adult diapers are a pain in the... Dumbass.

Good morning, Mr. Miller. How are you today? Hi, I'm fine.

I'm here. I'm gonna go ahead and get started.

Okay.

Thank you. It's fine.

Here. Thank you.

What the fuck?

Do you hear that?

Oh, that's just the roof inspector.

The roof inspector?

Hey, you must be Mr. Miller.

Yeah, I am. Who the fuck are you?

We're doing free roof inspections today, before hurricane season.

And let me tell you something, it's not looking pretty up there.

Yeah, thanks for noticing.

Well, let me tell you. Let me review the footage, and I'll meet you inside in a

few minutes.

Listen, what's the deal here, bud?

Well, like I said - Cut the crap, buddy, alright? Nothing's for free nowadays.

What are you selling? We have lifetime warranties on our roofs.

They're invincible.

Get the hell out of here, man. Yes, sir.

You really need to take a look at this footage. Listen, get the hell off my

property, all right? Sir, your roof is not going to make it through this

hurricane season. Listen, we're not going to buy a fucking roof from you. I

don't need a new damn roof.

What the fuck?

What? I can't believe you let that douchebag try to sell us a new roof.

Is that what that was?

Oh, he said he was doing a free inspection. It's a scam.

They tell you your roof's bad, so then they try to sell you some bullshit you

don't even fucking need.

Yeah, what did you do?

Don't get the fuck out of here.

She's probably trying to scam one of our neighbors out of their grandkids'

inheritance right now.

Should we tell anybody else about this?

You know, I don't know.

I mean, after the day I've had Kim, I never really noticed that they treat we

seniors like dog shit. I mean, until now, I just really had no idea how bad

was for us.

That we're seniors?

You know what I mean.

I'm seriously pissed here.

I wonder if they're having to go through this shit too.

Yeah, probably.

I ain't going out like that.

In the meantime, this story, Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn had surgery today to

remove a cancer. St. Mary's, Murray State at 6, Ohio State, Michigan at 9,

Saturday on ESPN.

If that's true, we could have them kicked out.

Do you hear something?

What if you shut up? We could get in here or something.

I'm telling you to shut up.

Can you hear any noises?

Sounds like... Sounds like it's coming from the house.

Maybe it's the television.

Maybe she got burnt.

Let's go and have a look.

You do it.

This is your idea. You do it. Come on, let's both do it. Come on.

What the fuck?

What was that?

Peeping Tom, obviously.

Peeping Mom?

How long do you think she was there for?

I don't know. Long enough.

The whole neighborhood is going to know by tomorrow.

I don't think there's enough evidence to convict. Yes, is all I'm saying.

I agree.

Just because you suspect and gossip... There's more to this than just gossip.

Tell me, Marty, why would a menopausal woman and an old, dried -up man want

stuff like this?

Do you see any Viagra?

I don't.

Here, Dyke.

Condom?

Unused? And in the trash?

Mm -hmm.

Hmm.

Look, all right, all right, look.

Let's do this. Let's put it up to a vote so we don't convict them before it's

brought to the management.

All right, you want to vote, you've got it. All those in favor of letting these

freeloading imposters stay here while mooching off the government,

say... All those in favour of taking back our freedom, our right to

exist in this community with all its values and principles that we

all should be proud of, say aye.

Aye.

In the meantime, talk to no one, especially the impostors, right?

Hey, bud.

How are you, Charlie?

Not too bad today.

You're looking young.

Well, a little younger than me, for sure. You know anything about computers?

Yeah, I know a little bit. What's up?

Well, I think I got one of those virus things.

Think you can fix that?

That's not a problem. I can probably fix that for you. Hop in, then.

Yeah, the damn thing's been running really slow lately. I think it's got one

those damn virus things or something.

Yeah, I can probably fix that for you.

Good. Isn't it ironic, though? My computer's got cancer, too.

That's horrible, man.

Okay, um, how do you take it?

Um... Black.

Thanks. Okay.

Um... So!

That's right.

I've told you this is my town and I don't take any prisoners.

Once the management gets the letter of intent, along with the evidence, they

certain to get the illegal information and make it official.

Hopefully in a few weeks.

So you just had to restart it to update the registry on it.

Yeah, whatever that is.

It's stupid.

Wow.

What's that?

All that stuff, huh?

Oh, yeah, that's just crap, though.

One for this, one for that, then one to take care of the side effects of the

next one. Well, I might be able to help. I mean, does it hurt a lot?

Oh, sometimes it really does, yeah.

Have you ever smoked Cron?

No, not since then, but... I'll tell you, it brings back some memories.

Good or bad memories?

Well, some good, some bad.

I'll tell you what, Charlie. Smoking is old school.

Nowadays, we vaporize. You're kidding.

I mean, this gives you straight THC. This is some really good stuff.

Do you want to try it? Sure, I'll try anything that's going to get rid of some

of this pain.

So here's the way I figure it.

You're going to go out on your own terms. May as well be less painful, and

why not have a little fun while you're at it?

For sure, I'm game.

What do you think? Do you think they're lying?

I don't know.

There is something strange about those two.

But what I'm saying is, do we have the right to judge them guilty before

been proven innocent? I mean, it's not American.

Why don't we just ask them for their driver's license? We can't do that. We

can't do that, remember?

Well, we could say it's just part of the association sign -up thing. You know

something? I don't want to get involved.

You're already involved.

Don't you get it? We're all involved.

Why does this matter to you so much?

Well, maybe I'm just sick of all of the system and still have a little fight

left in me.

Or maybe you know something I don't know.

Maybe I'm just sick of the grapefruit Gestapo and sick of everything that she

does.

Thank you for calling Cardholder Services. May I have your... Sir, please

down.

What the fuck, Chuck?

You cannot do that.

You gotta get back to your desk and apologize to that customer right now,

I'm gonna have to fire your sorry ass.

Damn it, man.

Thanks,

man. That was a blast, I'll tell you.

No problem, no problem. You want me to leave you with a little bit?

I don't know. I don't think so. I don't know how to work with those things, but

thanks anyway.

Maybe tomorrow.

I'm going to be pretty busy all day tomorrow, but hey, what about tomorrow

night? Maybe at the dance?

Hey, you going?

Yeah, you know, I think I am.

I think I'm going.

Kind of getting used to this place. Hey, well, that's good. That's good.

Wow, that was great.

But really, thanks again. And once again, I'm really, really sorry.

That's okay. It's not a problem.

Bye. Take care.

See what you guys are working on.

I mean, if you guys were trying to get a little bit more distance, I'd be more

than happy to. We don't need your help, buddy.

Wow, did you see that?

Fucking guy makes it look easy.

Not how hard you guys swing, it's really all in the tempo.

I mean, here, let me show you.

Are you okay?

I thought you hit that pretty hard.

Let me go get some help, okay? Stay right here.

Hi.

Muckout, are you okay?

Oh, I'm fine. Someone just fell on the street. Do you have a first aid kit?

Do I need to call an ambulance? No, it's not that bad.

Okay.

What happened?

What happened?

You weren't looking and you hit a pole.

Oh, what happened?

Don't worry.

It's a good job you had a friend here.

Oh, I just don't know what happened though.

Holy shit. Are you okay?

What the hell, Brian?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just I came home and the door was unlocked and I

didn't know what was going on in here.

You almost took my head off.

Oh, my God.

Let me get you some gauze. I'm fine. It's not my blood.

What happened? I was helping some lady. She needed a... Did you know you left

the fucking door open?

Yeah. I only drove my key.

Holy shit.

Glad you could make it, guys. It's, uh, well, you know, this is our last dance.

For a while.

Doesn't look like it's much of a dance right now, anyway.

Yeah, I know. They are a little slow to get at, aren't they?

What?

You don't like this music? This is classic stuff.

I mean, no, it's all right. Maybe they want something different.

Yeah.

Hey, what's up? Hi, Charlie.

How you doing? Good. Hey, Charlie.

Hey, Charlie.

What do you say we go for a quick walk out back?

Sounds good. All right, baby, I'll catch up with you in five minutes then.

Bye.

All right, love you.

Nice.

This one's a little bit different. It's going to be a really good one for

nighttime.

Oh, that's good because I want this to be a night to remember for sure.

Oh, don't worry.

This won't kill too many brain cells for you.

Well, there's not too many left anyway.

What can I do?

Hey, everybody is just sitting around, standing around, and nobody's dancing.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, well, but lightly.

Take it down and turn it up.

I know a lot of y 'all wouldn't expect

it.

I've been elected to your best.

Sounds like a party in there now.

Let's go check it out.

Brian and Kimberly Miller.

I'm Brian Miller.

Eviction notice, sir. Effective immediately.

You have until morning to be out or the sheriffs will escort you off the

property.

Charlie, you okay?

Charlie.

Charlie.

Charlie.

Charlie, you all right, buddy?

Come back, man.

Charlie, wake up.

So what are we going to do now? We have no place to go, no money.

I'll figure something out.

Figure something out? That's what you said before.

And now look what's happening.

You know, I was actually trying to get used to this place. We get to make

friends and, you know, it's kind of easy.

Now we just... We'll stay with my parents for a little bit.

It'll be fine.

Eviction notice. You got five minutes.

Alright, man.

Let's get going.

Sir, we don't think that'll be necessary.

You're the ones who brought this to my attention.

The rules strictly say... 55 and older. 55 and older for the residents.

That's right.

It doesn't say anything about the activities director here.

That's absolutely right.

The activities director must be a resident. Not only that, they must have

written recommendation from the previous one.

Just to even be considered for the vote. You know how thorough I am. The

paperwork is in perfect order.

As always.

Motion to vote on new activities, director.

All in favor?

Aye.

How long have you known?

Almost from the beginning, kiddo.

Sorry.

We would really like you to stay, guys.

That's what Charlie would have wanted, too.

What the fuck grandma?

I think we need more dip, because it's fucking America.

So I'm going to go take a sip of that.

What did you do? Hit up with Lameek Booth on the way?

Action.

People are burning.

Team 160E, take one.

First one is, yeah,

where did you meet that prick?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Got it. Mine, too. Just fucking turn it on. Just answer it.

Well, how about we go play some Warcraft while you watch this educational

program?

No. Landmine.

There you go, world.

This is a note.

No, it's a night note.

Not so much night note.

Good cover on the last one, though.

You knew night notes was wrong, and then you were just like, and, uh, and mine.

And then you kind of lay back a little bit, cough.

Like your chest, give it a on your chest.

Kim, look at Brian.

Nice.

I was going to take a break.

He held out all day just for that.

This would be outtake, correct?