Original subtitles

Astrology. The science of the stars believes in the divine influence of the

heavenly bodies over the affairs of man.

By consulting a map of the heavens at the time of your birth, an astrologer

analyze your tendencies towards health or disease, good luck or calamity.

Despite the fact that it was once outlawed by the Romans and that it is

generally scoffed at in academic circles, astrology today...

Has more followers than ever before.

Now, how do you like your tea?

You mean you can't tell?

Milk and sugar?

Right, first time.

You know, I'm simply dying to pass your horoscope.

That's a refusal, Eastman.

And why not?

Why, even the heavens themselves must gape at the amazing destiny of the

fabulous Simon Templar.

Maps, cards, crystal ball, tea leaves. Aren't you laying it on a bit thick,

Madame Calliope?

You're not taking me seriously.

Why am I? I promise you. Come on, tell me more.

Mars, Uranus and Pluto constitute the most elevated planets in your horoscope.

This constitutes a desperately urgent warning.

Of what?

Your life is in grave danger.

That's more than possible.

I see a very beautiful woman married to a cruel, sadistic Scorpio.

I also see an older man, terrified.

He has a physical deformity.

A limp.

Oh, the woman again. She has a mind like a cobra.

They seem to be waiting for someone.

An American named George Farson?

Yes, but he doesn't come.

I know.

Now, let me tell you something, Madam C. Your cruel Scorpio, his name is

Grainer. Grainer?

You know... Well, not actually, but one does hear things, strange stories.

They're probably true.

Oh, Simon, you will be careful, won't you?

Very, I promise you.

What do you want with Grainer, anyway?

He stole the Regency diamond from the Louvre in Paris.

I intend to get it back.

Lauber!

Ja, mein Herr?

What's Van Linden up to? He's studying the hydrangea diamond.

He's been studying that damn stone for a week.

Ja, mein Herr.

I think he's afraid of it. What else?

Tell him I'll be up in five minutes, at which time he will cut the hydrate, the

diamond, ready or not.

Yeah, my dear.

I don't listen to this.

The Regency diamond is still missing from the Louvre and one of the most

gem thefts of all time.

What do you think of that, Palermo?

We've made Life magazine.

Conservatively valued at over $1 million, the Regency diamond would be

recognized by any dealer or collector.

It is thought that the thieves planned to cut it into several smaller stones in

order to dispose of it.

Are you going to keep that up all afternoon?

Oh, that was a damn childish.

Childish.

Childish. is an adjective I do not appreciate when applied to me, eh?

Yes, well, your silly little games, they make me nervous.

Ah, what a shame.

Annoyed with me, are you?

No.

No, I'm not.

Honestly. Honestly. Such an interesting word, eh? Please don't.

Perhaps you're just torn.

Torn? Between your greed for money, which is excessive.

And your hate for me, which is diabolical. Why do you say things like

They're true. No, they're not true.

The devoted little wife.

Guess what I am when you let me be.

You put up a good front, my dear. I'll say that for you.

You'll get your reward one day.

If you're patient.

When I throw you out.

And what do you expect me to say to a filthy remark like that? Nothing, my

darling. I didn't marry you for your skill as a debater. Yes, well, sometime

must tell me the reason.

If you don't know that, you're even stupider than I thought you were.

Just don't get any ideas about leaving me, that's all.

Nobody leaves Abdul Grena.

At least not until he's finished with them.

Van Linden, open up.

I've told you about not closing this door.

It's a force of habit. A simple precaution when I have a valuable

the safe.

That's quite admirable.

Don't you think so, Laba?

Ja, mein Herr.

You understand?

There, there is a flaw in the grain here.

How long has he been saying that, Glauber?

For a week.

Obviously, you cleave it across the floor.

Yes, my plan, exactly. I should cleave it into two briolettes.

Now.

You're trembling, Van Linden.

When you stand so close, I... Diamond cutters are like brain surgeons, Lauber.

Quite useless with the shakes.

Mr. Grainer, please.

You're handling property of mine worth 4 ,000 pounds. Surely I'm entitled to be

present.

Yes, of course.

I apologize.

Cut the stone.

You doddering, incompetent fool.

You couldn't cut a piece of cheese.

No.

And you stink of brandy. Mr. Green, I swear I... You don't think I'd let you

within ten miles of the Regency diamond, do you? I've studied it for months. I

know I could do it.

You are finished, Van Linden.

Period.

If you feel that way, I will leave at once.

Unfortunately, it's not that easy.

Is it, Lauber?

Not easy at all.

You see, you know too much.

And unfortunately, you've become a distinct threat to me.

And when Abdul -Grena is presented with a threat, he just...

Who will cut the Regency?

Van Linden's replacement.

You have found such a man?

Yes. The greatest diamond cutter in America, George Felsen.

He's on his way to Tenerife at this very moment.

You can trust him?

I trust nobody. You know that, Lauper.

Felsen is very highly recommended by the syndicate in New York.

And to be eliminated Van Linden? Tonight.

It is, Senor Templer.

Captain Garcia, how are you?

Surprised. Oh, why?

You're being in Tenerife and me not being notified.

Well, some police forces do make these little mistakes, you know.

Possibly. But Tenerife is small, Senor Templer, and if there is one day that

don't report to my office personally, it might even become smaller.

You mean the size of the diamonds?

Exactly. You understand?

Perfectly, excuse me.

He obviously knows the diamond is in Tenerife.

We should arrest him at once, Captain.

On the contrary, he'll do our work for us.

He'll flush out our prey and we'll move in for the kill.

You know, Dawson?

Presentation.

George Rawson?

Yeah. Well, Mr. Tennery, if Mr. Grayness sent me. You work for him?

That's right.

Well, that makes two of us.

This way.

Where are we going?

Grayness' place you're staying at.

I got a hotel reservation.

I'll cancel it.

Who's the old broad?

Gray and her sister.

It's enough of this game.

Come here, Mr. Felsen.

Relax.

Enjoy the scenery.

A diamond cutter really should be more careful with his hands.

My horoscope said this would be an exciting day.

Well, in Calliope, I don't think Mr. Farson here is interested in our

We'd better show him the inside of your fruit cellar.

Dear, dear, Mr. Farson, where do you get this?

10 ,000 you rummage sale?

So who wants to know?

Little Templer, Simon Templer.

And the passport, what do you need all that?

A fair likeness.

Have to change the picture, of course.

You're crazy.

You can't impersonate me.

Well, the idea is distasteful, but I'll manage.

Grainer will spot you with a phony the minute you open your mouth.

I don't think so.

I don't see you don't mind a house guest, do you?

Well, you saw he can't get loose.

Even Houdini wouldn't get out of that lot.

this more.

You try cutting that Regency diamond, you'll smash it to bits.

But I don't want to cut it.

You don't?

No, I want it.

You are absolutely nuts.

All I want to do is pass this George Felson, an expert diamond cutter, for

day. What do you know about cutting diamonds?

Nothing you're going to teach me.

Just the jargon.

A fast two -hour course.

Madam C, I think you'd better leave us.

The next part of the operation may be rather unpleasant.

So, shall we start curling the hair?

No, no, no.

I'll try.

I'll try. Good, Mr. Parker.

Now, fill me in on your professional biography. What's the toughest job you

did? Well, the star of Ceylon, I guess.

Yes, 51 carats. It had a flaw across its table. I had to cut it through the

cullet. The what?

Cull it with a C.

I cleaved it on the first strike into four square cuts.

They brought $20 ,000 apiece.

Come on, Mr. Felson.

This is fascinating.

Christine. Please, please. I have much time.

Here.

My passport.

Yes, and there's a few thousand to pay for there.

It's all I could get. He doesn't give me much money. You are so very kind.

Yes, well, you've been very nice to me.

Somehow you must escape.

How? With no money? With those two lads watching over me every second? With him

watching me with no passport?

On an island a few miles long.

No, Joris, I can't.

Someday, perhaps, but not now.

I wish so very much that I could help you. Yes, but you just concentrate on

helping yourself. Get out of here right this second. Never mind packing, never

mind anything.

But my tools, they are valuable.

More so than your life.

Christine!

You'll be lucky to get out of here with your own life.

Christine?

Be right down, darling.

Get Van Linden, huh?

And get him some black coffee. He probably needs it.

Signora, you look very beautiful tonight.

I'm glad you think so.

Ah, Chivine.

The game isn't over yet, Lauber.

And you must try and curb this Germanic tendency of yours to count your

chickens. Chicken?

Never mind.

Your turn.

Oh.

Nervous tonight, darling?

No, not at all. Good, I'm glad. I always like you at your confident best.

Senor!

Senor, he's gone!

Don't shout, Palermo. You sound like an opera singer. What's the matter?

Van Linden, he's gone.

Impossible. I've looked everywhere. His room, the grounds, the whole house.

Can't get far without money and no passport.

Did either of you mention a switch to Van Linden?

No, senor, no.

Never. Sure?

On my number.

That word.

Get him back.

He could wreck our whole organization if he talked.

Get after him. He can't have gone far on foot.

Washed up failure with a brandy -soaked brain.

No use to anyone and a distinct danger to me. And you let him get away.

How absurd.

You saw me lock up Van Linden's passport.

Van Linden saw it too.

Of course.

He was there too. I'd quite forgotten that.

How very careless of me.

But you did tell him about the alarm switch near the front door.

I did not.

Then who switched it off?

And who forgot to switch it on?

Liar! The English gentleman is...

Not quite in place tonight.

Isn't it?

It was acquired with a great deal of effort and expense on the part of my

father, but don't let him fool you.

I'm not English, and I'm certainly not a gentleman.

Hello?

Ah, Felsen.

Well, when did you arrive?

Well, suppose you read the telegram I sent you.

Well, it was addressed to me in Madrid. It said, come to Tenerife immediately,

sign Granite.

So here I am.

Well, what do you want me to do?

Tonight?

Right, I'll grab a cab.

Simon, if this goes wrong... Don't be pessimistic.

Are you really sure that Nelson can't get loose?

Not in a million years.

Simon, I'm frightened.

Why? My natal Neptune is receiving a violent eclipse for my natal Saturn.

Oh, well, maybe I'd better drive.

No, you don't understand.

It means there's danger ahead of us.

Have you seen him? No.

He has a bad leg. He cannot have gone far.

I don't see nothing.

Commit.

Well done.

Your horoscope was right.

Are you all

right? Yes.

Yes, I think so. I can't say I care much for your friends.

It's Grainer. He wants to kill me.

Grainer? You know him? I worked for him once.

Oh, please, help me, save me, please.

Come on, give him the car.

This yours?

Slide in the front. Thank you.

Is that another house guest?

Well... Oh, please.

It's a worthy cause.

Right, he's invited.

Great, his heart's just up the road.

Do be careful.

I'll check with you as soon as I can.

Oh, you're Mr. Felsen. That's right.

Oh, I'm Christine Grainer.

Dora?

Wife, come on in. My husband's expecting you.

Darling, this is Mr. Felsen.

Is it, my love? Who told you that?

Well, he did.

Your passport, please.

A little weakness of yours, my darling. You're much too trusting.

You won't be needing this during your stay here.

I'll give you five seconds to hand it back, or I'll tear your arm off.

If you feel that strongly about it. I feel strongly about a lot of things.

Particularly money.

For cutting the Regency diamond, I want 20 ,000 U .S. dollars.

Cash. In advance.

I never pay in advance.

Goodbye, Mrs. Grainer. It was nice meeting you.

Oh, come, Felson, aren't you being a little oversensitive?

Don't touch me ever.

I'm sorry. Let's not get off to a bad start. I'm sorry if I seemed a little

peremptory.

Come again?

Peremptory.

Bossy, if you like.

I don't like.

So don't do it.

You'll have that 20 grand by noon tomorrow.

Otherwise, I go back to New York.

Noon tomorrow.

What are you doing?

Felsen!

Felsen!

What is all this?

You mean he's Felsen?

He attacked us. And he let Van Linden get away.

Would you kindly explain?

How was I to know these two burglars came from your zoo? I saw them climbing

old man has stepped in, that's all.

What have you done with Van Linden? Where is he now?

Oh, I know. I just gave him my taxi.

Get after him. Get the boys to cover the airport and the harbor.

Come, Mr.

Felsen. I'll take you to your workroom.

Darling, see the bags are taken upstairs, will you? She's a bellhop. You

it.

You have a great sense of humor, Mr.

Felsen.

It is, isn't it?

It's a shame to cut it. I quite agree. But in order to be sold, it must be cut

out of all possible recognition.

How do you intend to tackle it?

Probably the same way I cut the star of Ceylon.

But this stone is flawless.

Well, cut it through the cullet then again into four square cuts.

Minimum stone wastage, maximum of a stone value.

Four square cuts.

I'll, uh...

Has to study it, of course.

Yes, you're probably right.

That way we'd lose less than 20 carats.

Would the stones match, do you think?

We can always hope.

You have a great sense of humor, Felsen.

I like you.

Just don't get carried away.

I run a big organization. I can use men. I can trust.

Yeah, I understand you get hot stones from all over.

When the time comes, I'll tell you all you need to know. When the time comes,

I am interested, I'll listen.

I admire your independence.

You'll find I can be quite generous.

Oh, there's just one small thing.

Which is?

Keep away from my wife.

Make sure your wife keeps away from me.

He cannot get away. The men keep watch on the docks and the airport.

They have searched all the hotels and cafes.

I hope for your sake he doesn't get away.

I do not intend to have a multi -million dollar organization ruined by a drunken

Dutchman. Such kindness. I can never repay.

It's part of Simon's nature to help the underdog.

Underdog? Me?

Yet for 40 years I was the most respected diamond cutter in all

What happened?

I was tempted.

I became involved in the theft of the Troshman emeralds.

Rainer blackmailed me into coming here.

One mistake and a life is ruined.

More coffee?

No, thank you, darling. I have to meet a shipment on the 11 o 'clock plane.

Ah, Ferson.

Good morning. You slept late?

Do you mind?

At least a little touchy this morning. I'm just naturally unpleasant. I have to

go to town.

Oh, really?

What for?

The electric motor on the sky if it's burned out.

Oh, it was all right yesterday.

It's not now.

Well, if you have to go to town, go to town.

How am I expected to walk?

Well, I could drive Mr. Felsen in my car, darling, if you have to meet that

plane. I do have some shopping to do anyway.

How helpful you are, my darling.

By all means, drive Mr. Felsen to town.

Only don't go too far, huh?

Can we enter lunch?

One o 'clock. If you can survive without me until then.

I'll try.

I'm sure you will.

Hello, Edmund.

Mrs. Greiner is going shopping.

Mr. Felsen is going with her. I want you to follow them.

Si, senor. What do you find so amusing?

Nothing, senor.

Concentrate on Felsen.

I want to know exactly where he goes.

The motor he complains is broken was new two weeks ago.

Excuse me.

Mr. Pelson, I... What is it?

Nothing.

Something wrong?

I was just wondering if I dare trust you.

I never saw anybody stand up to Abdul the way you did last night.

Aren't you the least bit afraid of him?

Should I be?

Well, everybody else is.

Including you?

Most of all, me.

Want to talk about it?

I know a little cantina.

Can we stop and have a drink?

Why not?

I was alone, not getting any younger.

Abdul was crazy about me.

Kind, considerate, and rich.

So I married him.

And everything changed.

Instead of love, honor, and debate, it's been terror, hate, and submission.

It's an absolute hell. I can't stand it anymore.

Mrs. Grainer, I am honestly sorry about the natural marriage at the end, but

what can I do about it?

Help me steal the Regency diamond.

Are you on the level?

Absolutely.

Where is it? In a safe in the bedroom.

Now, when do we do this?

Right now, today, before Edward gets back from the airport.

Which is at what time?

Well, he went back for lunch at one, so to be safe, we'd have to go out of the

house by 12 .30.

Then what?

Well, there's a plane leaving for Madrid at nine tonight.

What do we do when we get to Madrid?

You cut the stone, we sell it.

And you're an agrainer. Mm -hmm. And you're rich.

A 50 -50 split.

Right.

Okay.

You go home, pack my bag, and walk yourself just one.

Mm -hmm. I'll get the tickets. We have to make sure we're on that phone.

I'll meet you at the house in 45 minutes. All right.

Oh, and Mr. Felsen.

Hmm? I go with the stone.

And if we get caught, Abdo will kill me.

He won't.

I can guarantee it.

Yes. Yes, I believe he can.

I'll see you in 45 minutes.

Don't tell me Captain Garcia's loans are wrong. You are to report every day.

This is as good a time as any.

Couldn't be more wrong, but who am I to argue?

I trust you are enjoying your stay in Tenerife?

Enormously.

Gracias.

I understand you're a house guest of Abdul Grena.

Yes, he's an old friend of mine.

How nice.

Isn't it? Has he got the latest diamond?

Captain Garcia, I have the faintest idea what you're talking about.

Mr. George Felson, whom you met at the airport, is one of the best diamond

cutters in America.

See, really, I didn't know that.

Good morning, senor. I expect to hear from you again.

No later than tomorrow this time.

Possibly before.

Incidentally, senor Templer, I have not seen Mr. Fesson since he arrived. Why?

No idea, Captain Garcia.

Perhaps he has been tied up.

Cheer up, George.

You won't be here much longer. You'll be out by tonight.

So help me when I get out of this, I'm going to break your back.

No, George, don't be ignorant.

Just be patient.

Where have you been? I'm nearly frantic.

I was delayed.

Well, it's nearly 12 .30 now. You might be home here any second.

Let's not waste time talking.

This has got everything but the sinks.

Where's the safe?

It's behind that head of Horace.

Horace! God is silent.

Induced him to sleep.

I once watched Adderall work this, and he pressed something right here.

He's got the place booby -trapped.

It's a big mummy.

We've got

plenty to explain to our son.

First you go to the police, and then you go to the astrology lady.

Why? That's a long story.

And now you've been at the safe, huh?

The boss will kill you, Felsen.

Not if you don't tell him.

Mrs. Greiner, you can come out.

Keep an eye on Sleeping Beauty here. I'll get to work on the safe.

Hurry, and we'll be back here any second.

Excellent.

Faster, Lauber.

Let's get home, huh?

Oh, what are you doing?

It's a triple tumbler combination, Tricky. We'd better call it ourselves.

that back. We'll have to get it later.

Hey, Steve.

Tell him I worked you over.

You took the stone.

Then you'll be in the cliff. Now, wait a minute. Where that stone goes, I go.

Hey, baby, take it. Meet me in the hotel or a tower at seven o 'clock.

Oh, I'm sorry. Seven o 'clock.

You incompetent fools!

How did he get into that safe?

I don't know, senor.

I heard the revolver shot, rushed in, found Felsen at the safe, and then he

me.

But you, my darling, I wonder what your little contribution is to this charade.

I told you, I tried to stop him.

Oh, Anto, please.

Get presentable.

You've got ten minutes.

Downstair, you.

And now I want only to get back to Amsterdam and earn an honest living.

I'm deeply touched.

John, it might interest you to know that I have been employed by the curators of

the Louvre to return the Regency diamond to France uncut.

Now, give.

Simon, is this some sort of joke?

Well, on me, the diamond engraved in the safe is a fake.

A beautifully done replica.

flawlessly cut glass and only you could have done it. Now, come on.

this, my darling.

As big a fake as you are.

Fabulous.

One million dollars.

I'll take that.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Van Linden, did you really think you could get away with this?

Keep him here.

If he tries to get away, shoot him.

You come with me.

How on earth did it happen?

Van Linden made a replica. Now, come on, untie me.

Falstaff, look, I'd like to help you, but I don't dare.

Look, I must go now. I'm very sorry I didn't want...

All right, untie him.

One thing you didn't know about my wife, Felsen, is she never takes no for an

answer.

All right, take her to my bedroom and keep her there.

You're supposed to be the greatest diamond cutter in America.

Now's your chance to prove it.

You will cut the Regency diamond.

Now, or I'm going to put two bullets through your skull.

Grainer, I... Your brains will be...

I've had all over the ceiling.

The tools are all here, including the electric motor, which incidentally

burnt out at all.

All right, let's get started, shall we?

No, closer, Signora. Oh, Palermo, please, help me.

You joke, Signora. But you've always liked me.

Si, it's true.

But always, I'm more frightened for Signora Grena than sexy for Signora

Oh, Palermo, please, help me.

I promise you, it'll be worth your while.

What are you waiting for?

I have to be sure.

Of what? Being a corpse?

Not quite right. It needs adjusting.

Come on, you're stalling, Felsen.

Look, I can't cut it if you don't keep your big yap shut.

Felton, you've asked for this.

I'm going to give you five more seconds.

And then you're going to get it.

One.

Where's Van Linden?

Come down.

Buenos dias, Senor Templer.

Where is the Regency diamond?

I have it.

It's incredible.

Captain Garthier's horoscope for today says that today is a day for promotion.

Why not?

Grainer is the biggest criminal that Garthier's ever arrested.

Better get started, or you'll miss your boat. I'll just run down to the corner

for some petrol.

Charis, why don't you go with her?

And cheer up. I'll get you back to Amsterdam, all right, and give you a

the reward.

Thank you.

It's more than I desire.

Well, now, that leaves just you and I and the Regency Diamond.

Hmm?

What do you mean?

You gave Captain Garcia the fake Regency. Well, I certainly didn't. Oh,

my dear. I play this game too often. Hand it over.

Well, it was a good try.

Yes, and you might have got away with it except for one thing.

Oh, what was that?

It just wasn't written in your dove.