Original subtitles

Fuck, what if my three -under window breaks?

Okay, this way just a little bit more.

Head up.

More.

Don't tell me.

We're being evicted, and you're capturing the view for posterity?

No. I'm falling in love and checking out a new lens, in that order.

Desk by the window.

You know her?

We were lovers in a previous incarnation.

Certainly the novel way to practice safe sex. No, I'm serious about her, A .J.

I'm gonna go for it.

You mean I have seen the future and it's...

Mrs. Richard Simon.

Stranger stories have been told. Name two.

Well,

very nice. I'd give it a nine for degree of difficulty and four for form.

Now look what you've made me do.

I made you do? Yes. To our brand new lens.

Our brand new lens?

Now, Rick, you swore no more needless expenditure. Door's open.

I'll tell you about the VCR later.

Hi.

Mr. Simon and Simon, I presume. Yes.

Hi, I'm Tom Huntley. We know.

You're running for state senate. Well, I'm glad to see the media blitz is

working. Well, I hardly recognize you without, you know, the band, the hat,

baby in your arms. Believe me, if I was after your vote, they'd all be here.

No, frankly, um... Well, the reason that I came to see you is a personal matter.

Oh, please, sit down. Thanks.

I, uh... Well, it's about my wife.

I, uh... I think that she may be having an affair.

And not that I put all the blame on her.

This campaign has been my mistress.

Do you have any evidence of your wife's indiscretions? Yes.

Well, no. I mean, I don't know. Rumors, innuendos, unexplained telephone calls.

It's enough to shake up a happily married man, and that's always what I

considered myself.

I'm sure that personal news like this could also play havoc with your

Mr. Simon, at this point, I do not care.

I care about Colleen. Without her... Look, Mr. Huntley... Tom, please.

Tom.

My heart goes out to you, honest, but...

My brother and I just have a standing rule about not accepting... Yes, I know.

I've heard.

That you normally don't handle marital situations, but please, these are not

normal circumstances.

Rick, can we talk?

Hey, Jay, look, I'm sorry, sir, but the answer is no.

Rick, this is hardly your normal run -of -the -mill domestic dispute. This man

is running for public office.

So what?

So what? So what?

So elections should be determined by the issues, not whatever tawdry rumors the

press can come up with. Am I right, Tom? Absolutely right. What if they're not

rumors? Well, then in any case, we've done the voters a service. No, really.

But I do have an engagement that I have to go to now.

I need a decision.

Yes.

AJ doesn't bother you even a little bit. We swore we would never, ever take a

case like this again.

Don't start with me, Rick. Me? Start? I'm not starting here, pal. You're the

starting. Look, the Carlton divorce case, you had just put the ladder up

the second story window at 246 Peachtree Avenue. And the Carltons lived at 248

Peachtree Avenue. And who gave me the wrong address?

Well, I'm only human. Ha.

What did you see in the neighbor's bedroom, by the way? Must have been

to get the guy that furious.

I'll never give you the satisfaction.

Never again, you said. No, check that. You screamed at the top of your lungs as

you lay face down in the emergency room, having multiple ladder rungs removed

splinter by splinter from your... Cool it.

Wow.

Now I see why Huntley's so uptight.

Adrian, I can't get this thing off. Would you give it a shot?

You're a material decorator.

You're a good one by the look of it.

Come on, you're good with mechanical things.

I'm good with good mechanical things.

Come on, would you just please read the instructions and see if you can figure

out how to get them?

You read them.

You speak Urdu, don't you?

All right, so I bought a bargain. You're the one always telling me how to cut

back on expenses.

Would you just please look here on the...

Oh, forget it. Hey, hey, who?

Where are you going?

The camera shop. I figure if she's like that little designer who tried to turn

your place into the throw cushion hall of fame, she's going to be in there

forever.

If you make that, we beg.

No. Excuse me. Okay.

Can we help you design?

Ah, your voice is as beautiful as your body.

Who are you?

You wore that dress just for me, now, didn't you?

I love the way it shows off your skin.

I told you before, leave me alone.

If you keep this up, I'll find out. How can I...

Thank you.

of my business, but was your friend always that forceful?

I never saw the man before in my life.

He just grabbed me and... Anyway, it's over now.

Thanks to you.

You're black.

No sugar.

Thank you.

Oh. What do you think?

This is what the shop will look like when we're finished.

I like it.

I like it a lot.

You've captured a wonderful feeling.

Free -floating anxiety or a rampant disorganization?

No, I'm serious.

How about a wonderful blend of southwestern openness and contemporary

You sound like one of those wine tasters.

Delightfully impudent.

No, honestly, I've just moved the shop over from the design center. Please come

back when it's all put together.

I'd love to.

I'd like to see how you display some of these things. Oh, my God.

What?

Forgive me.

You saved my life, and I don't even know your name.

Oh, Simon.

A .J. Simon.

Colleen Huntley.

Ah.

Does that mean you're related to Tom Huntley?

Yes, my husband.

Wow.

Good man.

Yes. It must be exciting, you know.

Being married to a political candidate.

Too exciting.

Yeah, it's probably tough.

You know, tough on your privacy and your time together.

Among other things.

Sorry, I didn't mean to pry.

You're not prying.

Excuse me, Colleen.

It's Mr. Huntley's campaign manager.

Something about subbing for him tomorrow at the dedication of a daycare center?

Oh, thanks, Mimi.

Excitement beckons. Now, you're sure you don't want to file a police report?

And see it all over the news? No thanks. I guarantee they would give it twice

the air time they give Tom's latest speech.

He's a lucky man.

Not every guy's wife would think that way.

He'll make an excellent senator.

He wouldn't be upset if you didn't file?

Mr. Simon, he's a very busy man.

Excuse me.

The sound you hear is the bard spinning in his grave.

Where the hell have you been? Doing the job for which we were hired.

Oh, really?

Tell me about it. I went back. I saw that deep cover surveillance you were

engaged in. How did you get back here? How did you ever keep her from spotting

you? Some guy grabbed her en route to her car.

What, did he hit her, hurt her?

Well... What?

Uh, actually, um...

Well, never mind.

What do you mean, never mind? What did the guy do?

He... He kissed her.

He kissed her?

Yes.

Well, that's... Call Huntley. Oh, by the way, I got the number of the company

she works for.

Who, Colleen?

No, her.

The Guiding Lamp Society.

Sounds like some sort of a social worker, don't you think?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Don't you play hard to get with me. Rick, we've got to talk.

What I thought doesn't dive with what Huntley told us.

In a minute.

I forgot the name of the person, but I need to speak to the person who works in

the bullpen area there.

The desk right next to the window.

Yeah, yeah, I'll hold.

Um, hi.

Don't say anything or I might check it out.

Listen, it's probably the most impulsive thing I've ever done in my life, but,

uh...

I've been watching you from afar for days now, and I'm just

plumb nuts about you.

You're the most gorgeous creature I've ever seen in my life, and I just get all

goopy inside whenever I see you.

Anyway, if you would just go to your window and look out.

And maybe you'd see me

and...

Where are you?

Okay, what do you want to talk about?

You're right. We should never have taken the Huntley case.

I'm serious, Rick.

We're wasting his money and our time.

Okay, here it comes. Number 13C is about to hit the floor.

What about the voter's right to know?

There is no way in the world that Colleen Huntley is cheating on her

You know this for a fact? Yes.

Sort of. I mean, it's more of a feeling.

Feeling.

Cornerstone of all really good detective work. Rick, what about the guy who

planted a big wet one on Mrs. Huntley in the parking lot? You got a feeling

about him, too? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Political dirty tricks

engineered by Huntley's opponent. You really believe that?

I'd bet on it.

Okay, let's tell Huntley. He called here about 15 minutes ago. He wants to see

us.

My opponent thinks he can spend his way out of this mess, but I went to college

in this state.

I can remember when we had the best schools in the country.

And it wasn't just because we threw money at every problem that came up.

No, the so -called problems with our educational system are basically

problems, neighborhood problems. And what is a neighborhood?

The neighborhood is you and me.

Please believe me when I tell you that there is so much that can be done on a

neighborhood level.

And the first thing that we can do is to take pride in ourselves.

This is a great state, and we are a great people, so it should be easy.

Mr. Huntley, if elected, how will you treat the proposed

increase in the state income tax?

Ah, an original question.

No. Actually, I can't support it. With proper cost -cutting, current revenues

should be more than enough to meet our budget requirements.

Yes, you exactly.

How many polls have you running two percentage points behind your

Does this concern you? Not when the same polls indicate that 18 % of the voters

are undecided, yes.

Last year, you said you rejected this part of their platform.

It's true that morally I felt that I could not agree with their stance.

However... I don't want to tell Huntley about this guy kissing his wife.

You don't what?

I don't want to tell him just yet.

And it doesn't bother you that telling him about his wife kissing the guy is

exact nature of her job? I know that, but... A job that I did not want to take

in the first place?

She has never seen a guy before.

Oh, do you have her word on that? Was it Scout's honor?

I was there.

And from what I saw... From what you saw, she kissed the guy. I know, but I

this feeling. Yes, I know you have a feeling.

Sometimes you just know someone right away. You're basing this on a one -day

tail job. Let me rephrase that. From a man who thinks that a woman he has

seen through a window is going to be the future Mrs. Richard Simon.

As I indicated in my recent appearance before the State Coastal Commission...

It's an entirely different matter. How is that different? I'm thinking.

Don't sprain anything.

I'm very sorry. That's all the time I have for her right now, but thank you

much. God bless.

AJ.

Rick. Thank you very much for coming so quickly.

Did you find out anything?

Well, from what I've observed, I'm convinced that you have absolutely

worry about, at least as far as her wife is concerned.

Really?

Well... Uh, yeah, but A .J. does think that you may be the victim of some

professional mudslinging. Ah. You know, you can't assail the positions. You go

for the personal life, even if you have to manufacture something.

Well, I certainly wouldn't put it past my opposition.

But still, this is great news. You have to understand, I was beside myself

thinking about Colleen. Believe me, I do understand.

Well, and I guess when I called you, I was just trying to make a mountain out

a molehill.

How's that?

No, well, it's nothing now, I guess.

What kind of nothing?

Well, it's nothing, I'm sure. Last night, Colleen was on the phone to her

mother, she said. But I overheard her make plans to meet this afternoon.

So?

Colleen's mother lives in Cincinnati.

He's got to be mistaken.

You know, I mean, you probably just didn't hear it right. The phone's got to

ringing off the hook there day and night, right?

So, it's his nickel.

We check it out, we write a report, we recommend a second honeymoon, and we're

out of it, okay?

Yeah, absolutely.

Okay.

Man, I hate this.

So why you drive like that you're gonna kill us

Holy cow.

That's him.

Who?

The guy that grabbed her.

Seems they've gotten to know each other a lot better.

Okay, let's go.

Okay, let's go.

AJ.

What? You want to follow him?

Yeah.

Nice. Subtlety in the tale is everything. She swore she didn't know

would she lie to me?

Just hate the sermon, Rick.

Prayer seems like a good idea to me right now.

Whoa.

Down and dirty.

That's what we get paid for.

Still think Huntley was imagining things?

How could my instincts have been so wrong?

Remember the time that my instincts told me that two dough runes wouldn't come

after a guy carrying a burning torch?

All that phony concern over her marriage and Tom's career, and I bought it.

Uh -oh.

Hardy's turning her up.

Hey.

lover boy wasn't too neat.

Not a trace.

Damn, why didn't we stop him?

Because we couldn't, AJ. Now come on, we've got to file a report. Come on.

she just blacked out. Maybe she's not dead.

Come on, AJ. There's one thing we can do. Let's go.

You were actually tailing Colleen Huntley?

Affirmative.

We were working for her husband who apparently had good reason not to trust

I thought you swore off those grubby voyeur cases.

We just stood and watched while a woman had the life choked out of her, all

right? I'm sorry. Let's just say that A .J. had a... that we had a little extra

emotion riding on this one and cut straight to the chase.

Okay. It's your call.

You were hired to follow Colleen Huntley, and you say you saw the alleged

kiss her.

Yes.

But she claims ignorance.

Until today when she picks him up and they have a rendezvous.

Then the poor man's Ansel Adams here snaps some raunchy pictures and suddenly

lover boy is doing a number on the victim's neck.

You drive down.

You pick a fist up.

Am I missing anything?

He said the victim.

It's the usual turn.

See?

A body was found an hour ago in Coral Canyon, less than a mile from where you

witnessed the attack.

No ID.

Till now.

Lord.

So I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to hand over the film you shot.

Sorry, Abby, that belongs to our client.

Well, I'll ask him about it when he comes down to ID the body.

You have any questions regarding the rules of evidence?

I suffered just another K. It happens.

You ever have a feeling about someone, you know, a good feeling?

Or is it written we're not allowed to care about somebody we barely know?

We really did do everything we could do. I mean, you know, under the

circumstances. We ever.

I just hope Abby enjoys seeing my weekend with Lola and I'm wild.

When was the last time I told you that you were one hell of a brother?

As I recall, it's when you were seven years old and I had your thin little arm

twisted behind your back like a pretzel, screaming at you to say it louder.

Then I'm long overdue.

You are one hell of a brother.

I keep looking for a good angle on lover boy here. Yeah, you may have quite a

weight. What?

Well, I don't know. It's a funny thing.

All of these are...

On his back, not a single good shot of his face in the house.

Almost as if... Wait a minute.

Look at that.

Look at it.

It's a very pretty woman and a guy who dresses like you. Yeah, not him. Look at

her.

Here.

Look at the birthmark.

You've been up too long. There is no birthmark here. That's my point. What

The birthmark. There is no birthmark. That's my point exactly. Remember the

in her studio?

Remember the dress that she was wearing? The low cut kind of thing. The risk of

seeming prurient. Yes, I remember that. She had a birthmark on her shoulder.

Right here.

And this person is not Colleen Huntley. Well, who is it?

The lieutenant comes back and finds us here.

I'm dirt.

I'm less than dirt.

All right, Hanrahan, we owe you one.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I still haven't unwrapped that beer bomb

album you gave me the last time.

Bernstein, Leonard Bernstein, conducting the New York Philharmonic.

Whoever. Now, look, I'm going to go outside and watch for her.

Rina, you shut everything off and pray.

All set?

Yeah.

Here, speed it up.

Hold it.

Who's the woman in our pictures, the one without the birthmark? That's a good

question.

Right now, I'd say she's a pretty fair actress.

I really appreciate this, Mr. Huntley.

You know the necessity.

Is she... Was she brutalized?

There was some bruising, but the trauma wasn't severe. I don't think she

suffered long.

You step into my office, I'll call down to the morgue.

Lieutenant, I'm sure they're ready for you down there now. You could just go

right ahead.

It's customary to notify them, Hanrahan. Do you mind?

What on earth?

Hello, Tom.

A .J.

I am truly sorry about Mrs. Hundley.

It's a terrible shock.

Is it?

Something doesn't add up here, Tom. Don't ask me what, but I'm not going to

until I find out. AJ, this man just wants his life.

No extra charge.

I want both of you out of here now.

We had front row seats, Tom. Isn't that amazing? AJ, what's gotten into you?

Listen,

I don't want the two of you back here. There's something you don't know about,

Abby. Hey, have you no sense of decency? Yes, why do you think I'm standing

here? Come on, AJ, time to go.

Come on.

Good night, Senator.

Reinforcements.

Whoopee. Bad, bad, huh?

Yeah, but until we get a better theory.

No, no.

Theory is the systematic ordering of facts, which we don't have.

Leading to a logical conclusion, which we certainly don't have.

Total strikeout, huh?

Yeah.

There's not one actress or model in this town who looks anything like Colleen.

No? Maybe we're looking at the wrong place.

Come again?

You want tea, you go to China. You want crawfish, you go to New York.

All right, all right. I know this is leading somewhere.

You want actresses?

Oh.

I can't believe we're heading right back into the savage heart of the big

smoggy. It was your idea.

That's what I can't believe.

Maybe we should run through this routine once more before we get there. We'll be

just fine. You just let me do all the talking.

Why should you do all the talking?

We showbiz people. I've got a language all their own.

What makes you such an expert?

I used to go out with that actress, and she told me all sorts of stuff. What

actress? Oh, you remember Bertha.

Bertha?

Rick, she was a belly dancer.

No, she wasn't.

She was an exotic dancer.

Oh, well, pardon me.

There's a big difference.

In any case, what does either one have to do with being an actress? Well, she

went to classes, all right?

Acting classes.

She went to classes, and you became the expert. I know how these people talk.

That's all I'm saying. Everything is big. Nothing is small. You're never

on a small project. Everything is huge, immense, always.

Mr. Thaler said to the lamppost.

Okay, stay with me now.

This film has everything.

Romance, mystery, suspense. Think, uh, oh, singing in the rain crossed with

psycho with just a touch of a noir.

Oh, I see it. I love it. It's beautiful.

And at the center, a woman.

Now, we've already got two days' work in the box.

Can.

Whatever. And our girl takes off after two very expensive location days.

So we've got to have an absolute double. Show him. Show him.

Well, I've got just the girl.

Now, if...

If there's a problem with the hair, she's willing to bleach it.

Oh, come on.

Doesn't look anything like our girl. Nose job?

New teeth?

Look, she's eager.

Thanks. Job, big guy. We love you. We'll call you. What if I get a brainstorm?

Cherish it.

Oh, man.

This is impossible.

I mean, by the time we're through looking, Huntley will be sworn in. How

more are there? Don't ask.

Showtime. Hi, I'm Rick.

Let's just keep the hype to a minimum, okay?

Ciao, baby. Love you, big guy.

That's the way these people talk.

Gentlemen, before you say a word, I just want you to know that word on your

project is hot.

I mean, I just followed the trail of steam to your door.

And have I got the girl for you. Yeah, well, she has to be a dead ringer for

this lady.

From your mouth to Laney Wilson's ears, sweetie.

Gentlemen. I give you Linda Tadlock.

Lainey, Lainey, Lainey, we're talking twins. You're showing us interbred third

cousins here.

Well, there is one actress that I sort of represent now and then, and I use the

word actress.

As long as she looks like this, she can hang from actress by a thread.

Well, actually, Missy's work is a tad in the line of soft porn, which is

something that my agency is loathe to deal with.

Missy? By all means, let's look at Missy.

But don't say I didn't warn you.

These girls, um, well, acting as a secondary source of income, if you know

I mean.

No, no, no, Lainey, honey.

Missy's gonna work out just fine. Mr. Grillstein.

Yes. I think we've finally found what we're looking for. I couldn't agree with

you more.

She might even be right for the part.

Hello? I told you I don't want to be a Jehovah Witness!

Missy Taylor?

I already told the guy in the suit that was just here. I don't want to be a

Jehovah Witness because I don't like feature going to court.

Uh, my name is A .J. Simon.

This is my brother Rick.

You dudes aren't with the dude in the suit?

No. We just want to talk to you.

Does he, like, say anything?

Not in drafty hallways.

Oh. So, like coming in?

I was just having breakfast.

Oh, well, we wouldn't want you to miss the most important meal of the day.

Want one?

No, thank you.

Soda? No, thank you. What we want is to know if you were hired by a man named

Tom Huntley down in San Diego to double his wife.

You dudes are, like, in the wrong place.

All right, let's rephrase it.

Were you hired to act out a little lover's quarrel with some hunk down in

Canyon in San Diego?

I just signed on with a new manager.

He said things are going to be changing for me, so you better... I, um...

I suppose these were taken at the Shakespeare Festival.

You better watch out for your gut, man.

I know a lot of real heavy dudes in this town.

I had a bit in Cobra, and Stallone was, like, really into me. He didn't come on

to me or anything like that because he was sort of, like, married at the time.

But he wanted to.

Would it surprise you to learn that the woman that you impersonated was

strangled to death?

What do I have to do, like mace you guys?

Missy, I'm betting that you don't know anything about this.

Memory getting a little fresher?

Get out of here before I call my manager.

Just some kind of joke.

To get back at some political...

Dude who was half on him.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Huntley didn't live long enough to see the humor.

I thought it was just another paying gig.

It's like what I do.

Me and this other actor.

What was his name?

I don't know.

Ken.

Somebody.

Look, that's all I knew.

I did the work. I'm out of there.

Not if the police consider you an accessory to murder.

You're trying to scare me, right?

No.

Missy, all we want is your help.

A .J.

Sorry to bother you, Tom, but we need to talk.

Well, if you've come to apologize, I accept, but now you'll have to excuse

No, I won't excuse you.

May I come in?

You have to appreciate that this is a very difficult time for me. I know who

killed your wife.

What? I know we didn't part on the best of terms, but since you did engage us, I

do feel obliged to make a final report. Now, may I come in?

Yeah.

You have a beautiful home.

The murderer, A .J.

Colleen must have been very happy here.

Look, I have no idea why you suddenly have it in for me, but if you insist on

harassing me, I will call Lieutenant Marsh.

Just tell me what you came here to tell me.

You know, this is all very... It's very traditional.

Is that your influence? Because Colleen was more contemporary.

When did you become an authority on my wife?

I only met her inadvertently.

She let me into her life for just one moment.

But that was enough.

I could tell she was someone very special.

I'm not going to listen to any more of this.

Okay, let's have it.

What's this all about?

Oh, she saw right through you, didn't she?

All the charm and all the professed humanity. She knew the marriage was over

she wanted out.

That would have sucked at the polls, right?

This is the classic P .I. scam, isn't it?

I hire you for one job, then you offer it to my opponents for twice the fee.

I'm not biting, gentlemen.

He is good.

Practice makes perfect. Hell, I might even vote it for him. If you have one

shred of evidence, I'd like... All right, Tom, here's the whole deal.

We were hired to witness... Now, hell, we were hired to photograph her murder,

giving you an ironclad alibi.

Only it wasn't your wife and her lover that we followed, was it?

It was a couple of actors paid by you.

You've really gone over the edge, haven't you?

Did you drug Colleen?

Before you strangled her, dear God, I hope so.

Because while we were out there witnessing Oscar time, you were dumping

and rushing off to meet your aides. No. One of those last few loose threads,

right, Tom? No.

And then with our statements, our pictures, all given to the cops, you

home free, weren't you? You must be out of your mind. You think I'm some kind of

monster? Shoe fits.

It wasn't even a crime of passion, was it, Tom?

If she divorced you, all her family money went back into the trust.

But if she died, you'd get a hefty handout.

And then, with a little timing, the bereaved candidate gets a landslide

vote. Oh, it's kind of a two -for -one special, huh?

All right, all right, good, good, all right. Be my guest. Go public. Because I

would love to sue you two vultures for defamation of character.

And I love Colleen.

More than you or anyone else could ever know.

Did you really, Tom?

You certainly had a strange way of expressing it.

Take a good look.

Bet you never thought you'd see me again.

What are you trying to pull?

You trying to fool me?

I'm going to call my lawyer.

You're wasting your time, Huntley. It's over.

Is that right?

You should have taken the money and run, like you promised.

I'll kill you.

I'll kill all three of you.

Oh, yeah?

Someone photographing this one, too?

You don't believe me?

No. Now, why don't you give me the gun?

Sorry, Tom, but knowing that you were a gun control advocate, we didn't want you

to be tempted.

Despite this attempt on the part of my opponent to slander my reputation...

I do not intend to withdraw.

I intend to win my acquittal and this election.

And that's all I have to say. Thank you.

Absolutely stunning.

He's still maintaining his innocence.

Worse than that, his bail money came from his wife's estate.

Does he have a chance?

I don't know. With Missy's confession, our testimony, the other actor... All

right, come on, get out of here. She's on her way.

Across the way, the window. Marie, I invited her over here, and she's on her

right now, and I'd rather meet her by myself. Let's go. No way. We'd all like

meet her. Is there someone I should know about? No, no one at all. Your future

daughter -in -law. Come on.

Hello? Hello.

Rick Simon?

In the flesh, please. Come on in. I just... Marie?

Kellner, how do you do?

How do you do?

Well, um, Rick, I've got to be running.

Excuse me.

I'm sure you both have a lot to talk about. Very nice to have met you, Mrs.

Kellner. Thank you.

Bye -bye.

So tell me, Mr. Simon, how did you become acquainted with our work at the

Guiding Lamb?