All language subtitles for simon_simon_s08e09_the_richer_they_are_the_harder_they_fall

he can do wonderful things when you know
about a corporate buyout three days

early when he heard we had controlling
interest the ceo shot himself how

such unstable types acquire positions of
authority is beyond me

I honestly don't know what I'm going to
do when Tommy Trish moves down to the La

Jolla house. I am so accustomed to
having him here, especially my dear

So to all of those who said they
wouldn't make it, I say bravo to my

son and daughter -in -law.

Well, when the market was bullish, a
friend of mine turned bearish. I tried

tell him to keep $400 ,000 in cash in a
mattress. He was sort of foolish, but he

wasn't. To make matters worse, the guy
slept in a waterbed.

Oh, hi.

Your ear is burning? Just explaining my
advice to you on market strategy.

Amusing, but harmless.

Excuse us.

Please. I want to introduce you to
Trish.

What kind of a line are you feeding
these poor people?

Come on, AJ, run and run. You ever heard
what these people talk about?

Look, just because they move in a realm
that is foreign to you doesn't mean

they're not nice people.

Look, think of Tommy.

He only met you once.

Oh.

And five years later, he's still
gracious enough to include you in the

invitation in spite of your manners?

Hey, Rumi!

Tommy! How are you? Okay, how are you?

Congratulations. Thank you.

And you, lucky lady.

Hello. How are you? I'm great.

Must be your brother. Oh, yeah, Rick.
Hi.

Trish.

Hey, J. Fed, you're beautiful.

You're so prone to understatement, I
see. Oh, Tad, Tad. You know, we were

debating the age -old question, are the
rich really different?

I'd put him straight on you.

Well, actually, most of these people
here are Mom's friends.

Frankly, if we had our way, we'd be
knocking back shooters and tossing darts

down its lungs. Hello.

Time for a toast.

Tommy, Trish, over here.

You're on. See you later.

Here's to a wonderful anniversary and a
triumph of true love.

Hear, hear.

Hear, hear.

It means the world to Trish and me that
you could all make it today. You don't

have to write the beat here.

Lay off, damn it.

Back off, man. I'm part of the family.

I just want to offer a toast, for God's
sake.

Go for it, little brother.

To the foxy lady and Mr. Lucky, my big
brother.

The only person in my whole family who's
got the guts to accept me as I am.

Wish there were ten of you, Tommy.

Now then.

One year ago today, we took our vows.

Will you do me the honor of repeating
them with me?

If you're going to start crying now, I'm
out of here.

I, Thomas John Van Alder III, take you,
Patricia Watkins, to be my wife.

My bride.

The maid of my soul.

As we merge into oneness.

I will still treasure your uniqueness.

Your... Your individuality.

Did he sweat it this much the first
time?

I love you and... And hold you... Until
death us

to.

Tony?

Well, see where you are. Somebody get an
angler.

Get a paramedic. Go, go.

Well, you, uh, want to take the day off?

Go up the coast, stand in no frame?

Floor in the dark?

No.

Better off I stay busy.

How about we go sailing?

Well, listen, when I go, would you have
the Van Alders do my funeral? They

really know how to throw one.

Rick, sorry.

It's okay. I mean, I know what you're
trying to do. I just... This is Van

Alder. I mean, this can't be...
Catherine, please.

I had no idea you were coming.

I'm... Hi.

Please, won't you sit down? Thank you.
Hi.

Roland and I had a serious talk after
you left.

Forgive me for being blunt, but are you
two available for hire?

I beg your pardon?

Catherine is convinced that Tommy did
not die a natural death.

The autopsy report said heart attack.

Now, that's rubbish, absolute rubbish.

Tommy was as healthy as a horse.

Ma 'am, I know these things can be
awfully hard to accept, but medical

really do know their stuff.

Do you have any children, Vic?

Rick. There are some things a parent
just knows.

I can vouch for the fact that Tommy's
health was very sound.

But murder?

We were there, huh?

I don't know. Call it intuition.

Call it grasping at straws. But, A .J.,
I can't let this go without finding out

for sure.

Will you help me?

Come on, Lieutenant. Who was it who
fixed your flat tire the other night?

Rick did.

At gunpoint.

After I found out he was the one who
covered up the cute little sign to avoid

tire damage, do not back up. Okay, okay.
What about the time when we... Hey, AJ,

come on. We're talking about the Van
Alders here. As in Kenderson Oil, if San

Diego had royalty, they'd be it. What
has that got to do with me reading an

autopsy report?

The chief's office sent it directly to
the mayor herself, who hand -delivered

the results to Mrs. Van Alder
personally.

You get the picture?

Lieutenant.

Mrs. Van Alder is our client to whom I
gave my personal assurance that our

friend, Lieutenant Marsh, would not
obstruct our investigation.

Now, shall I have her arrange for me to
have this conversation with someone with

a little more authority?

Whoa, you're really into this.

Yes, I'd say that's a fair assessment.

Okay, you asked for it.

Coronary embolism, heart attack. I knew
that already.

Here.

Here.

Pre -existing chronic ventricular
aneurysm aggravated by high blood

concentration of dextroamphetamine.

Dextroamphetamine? Mm -hmm.

But Catherine said it was natural
causes.

He did have a heart condition.

And he did have a heart attack. He just
helped himself along the way.

And they withheld this from his mother?

AJ, what is to be gained?

She's grieving there's no crime to
prosecute. You let the papers get a

She has a right to the truth.

Never in a million years.

I read the report.

I don't care what you read.

If you'd said that about Lance, perhaps,
but Tommy is just... He never told you

he had a heart condition?

We played tennis every other day, polo
every weekend. He was the picture of

health. On the outside, maybe.

If he wanted drugs, he could certainly
afford them. People do change.

Dick, you spent one hour with my...
What? His name is Rick.

You spent one hour with my son. He was
here with me most of his life. I

notice a change like that.

Catherine, may we look at his room?

Henry?

Sort of like my whole life passing
before my eyes.

Yeah, it's pretty close, huh?

Yeah.

Back then you were in NAMM and I was
afraid you'd never come back.

So I guess I needed Tommy to fill in.

God knows we did everything together.

And now I find myself wondering why him,
why not me?

Matter of lifestyles, wouldn't you say?

Look, AJ, we don't set the odds.

We just play the game and hope for the
best.

If they fit, feel free to take anything
you want.

I don't think I could do that.

Come on.

Somebody should get some use from it.

Mom told me you were up here.

She also told me what you found out.

I'd like to help.

All right.

Are you up to giving us some straight
answers to some hard questions?

Yeah. If you'll bear with me.

Did Tommy take drugs?

No. At least, not the kind you're
talking about.

Wait a minute.

The doctor gave him these.

I asked him about it, but he always told
me not to worry. He said it was nothing

serious.

I guess he was trying to protect me.

God, I was his wife.

Is that heart medicine?

I don't recognize the name. Could be
generic.

But we know somebody who would know.

You know, you don't actually have to be
taking amphetamines for them to get into

your system.

I suppose that's a possibility.

Bet your guacamoles it is, especially if
somebody were feeding it to him on the

sly. Somebody close to him.

God, that's a worst -case scenario.

Now we make our living, A .J.

Mac? Oh, come on.

No, look, Mac.

When you lost that tissue sample in the
assault case, who got you a new one,

huh? Yoo -hoo!

That's not the point. Oh, hi, Mom.

You owe me one, and I need it run now.

What do we got here?

A little leftover stuffed cabbage from
the polka night.

Oh, finally, my kind of food cooked.

Oh, when have I ever called you and
asked... It's cold.

Well, all right, besides that time, when
have...

Well, besides that time, what... Oh,
come

on. No, the Sikorsky thing doesn't
count.

All right.

All right, just do the best you can,
okay?

Okay, let's have it.

48 hours, at best. Seems the entire damn
town's on a homicide binge. Hi, Mom.

Hi, honey.

So until we get the test results back,
we're going to have to go in your

Somebody fed them to him. Yeah.

Well, I'm proud of you for not letting
this get swept under the rug.

I remember when you brought Tommy home.

Well, I thought I'd raised you with good
manners.

You were another story, of course.

But Tommy, he held my chair before we
sat down, cleared the table,

insisted on doing the dishes.

Who are you calling?

Oh, hi, Trish.

A .J., listen, do you think you could
wrangle an invitation for two more for

dinner tonight?

Yeah, Rick and me. No way, pal. No more
of the eating bit. Not for me. I'm

sorry, Trish. Hold on.

Forget it. Why not?

Don't you want to keep your brother
company?

I'm sorry, Mom. I only have one stomach
to give for my country.

Besides, it's amateur mud wrestling
night. The fellows come on in.

Trish, would you make that one more for
dinner there tonight? Just me.

Thanks for the invite.

AJ, my pleasure.

Well, where's Nick?

Oh, Rick.

He had a previous engagement. Oh, sorry.

Thought I was just getting to know him.

To Tommy.

May he remain with us forever in our
hearts.

Lance, AJ, thank you for being here.

Somehow it makes it more bearable.

I'll be glad to come back in another
three years.

Next time you invite me.

Right, Tommy?

You look pretty crystal.

Oh, thank you.

Roland and I picked it up when we were
in London last year.

So, A .J., I understand you play polo.

Uh, I used to when I was in college with
Tommy.

Play?

A .J., I remember you were excellent.

Well, you know, Tommy and I played
together. This weekend is our league

Of course, without Tommy, we'll have to
forfeit.

Unless... No, that would be poor
tasting.

What, dear?

I was thinking of A .J., perhaps,
filling in for Tommy.

Of course.

Tommy would have been thrilled for you
to play for him.

Absolutely. I think it's a wonderful
idea.

But I haven't played in years.

There's actually some talk about
dedicating the game to Tommy.

Well, I... I'd have to borrow some gear.

That's no problem.

Hey, hey, hey.

I used to ride, too, remember?

Lance, we meant no harm.

Yeah.

Yeah, sure you didn't.

You know, it just never occurs to you,
even for a minute, that I can do

anything.

You just think that I'm supposed to,
uh...

Agree with you.

Well, why not? Everybody else around
here always did.

Everybody except Tommy.

Lance, come on.

Don't perish, don't.

20 years I haven't been able to reach
him.

He doesn't want to be reached.

I suppose this fingerprinting has
something to do with the Van Alder case.

That's right. Mm -hmm.

Our crime lab is buried six feet under
in backlog.

But then, you wouldn't know anything
about that, would you? How could I?

Oh, I don't know. There was this silly
rumor going around that you dropped off

little unofficial package for analysis.

You heard wrong.

Hey, A .J., I told them to expedite it.

I'll do the same with it.

Careful, Abby.

Might blow your image.

I'm just about to have some white wine.
Would you like some?

Oh, that sounds great.

I've been driving around. I really don't
know how I ended up here.

It seems like my car is the only place I
don't have to act happy for other

people.

Sit down.

I guess I... I just don't know what to
do with my... Oh.

Well,

now I know why Tommy treasured your
friendship so much.

Hey.

You're a friend, too.

I know.

You know, A .J., you have something
Tommy never had.

I never thought I'd hear anyone say
that.

Oh, no, I mean it.

This place is so warm and cozy and
intimate.

It's like you.

Tommy never had that.

He grew up with cooks and servants.

He never knew about making a place for
himself.

Being his own man.

I'd like some more wine.

Thank you, no.

Anything else?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I better go.

Bye. I really don't know what to say.

Okay.

Come on.

It's perfectly natural.

God, you must think of me.

I think you're... You're just human like
everyone else.

And Tommy would have understood.

You think so?

Just need time.

Time and space.

Come in.

You know.

I don't know how you got me feeling
sorry for you, but... Just don't

say it. Say what? You're getting ready
to go play polo.

Thank you.

I mean, doing social work among the rich
is a dirty job, but somebody's got to

do it.

Are you quite finished?

Yeah. Oh, unless you want the rundown on
those fingerprints?

Roland Vicente?

Roland Vicente to you, maybe. His real
name is Harry Lubash.

was indicted on misappropriation of yet
another dear lady's funds.

Oh, that's fascinating.

Did he serve any time?

Uh, no.

All the charges were dropped.

Seems he made full restitution. Here.

Read for yourself.

Funko report reads like a Jack and Colin
novel.

Well, looks like a lead to me.

Except you don't have a crime.

The prescription the wife found?

Nothing but Dilantin, which the lab guys
say is SOP in treatment for coronary

disease. Well, it doesn't rule out
someone slipping in speed some other

Right, just like it doesn't rule out his
being held down and force -fed by the

tooth fairy.

You want to check it out? Fine. Me, I
got to get back to my priority cases.

Abby, thanks for the special trip.

You're welcome, AJ.

Goodbye. Oh, no, I mean, ta -ta.

There's a smack -up field.

Beautiful nearside shot by A .J. Simon.

Rollins to Zete. Riding number two
clears the ball.

A .J.'s fantastic.

Trish, it's so good to see you smile
again.

I know. It's the first time I've felt
like smiling.

It's A .J. Simon breaking out of the
back all alone.

Goal! Yay, AJ!

The first sportsmanship by AJ Simon, who
loved all along, and scored the goal.

Well, direct, AJ.

Dumb luck.

There's the toss in.

Swiped by one of the writers.

Not spanked up against.

side.

Black back.

J .J. Simon moving out ahead.

He's turned back this time by Bob
Whitson. Riding number three for

Backhand by Roland. There he goes again.

Picked up by A .J. Simon.

He's heading for that hole again.

It was quite a fall, A .J.

Trish is calling my personal physician.

Now, I insist he look at you.

No, I'm all right.

Nothing that about 100 years in the
jacuzzi can't fix.

A .J., dear, where are you going?

Want to look at that saddle?

You really should stay off your feet, A
.J.

I'm fine, Roland. Trust me.

These are brand new stirrup leathers,
aren't they?

Yes.

Cut clean through.

Just as if someone wanted me to have a
mouthful of dirt.

Or worse.

Wouldn't you say, Rollins?

Or should I say, Harry?

What are you trying to say?

You can drop the top drawer act, Mr.
Lubash.

We ran your husband's fingerprints.

Ah, yes, that business with the wine
glass.

Your husband, Catherine, has made a... a
habit of marrying wealthy ladies under

a variety of aliases and then relieving
them of their wealth.

I know all that, A .J.

What I don't know is who told you. You
hired me to find things out, remember?

So you think I murdered Tommy and then
tried to eliminate you, having lost my

marbles at the thought of Tommy standing
in my way before I could swindle

Catherine out of all her money. Is that
it, A .J.? You said it. I didn't. Well,

now you listen to me.

What happened with Catherine and me was
different.

Sure, I started out wanting to run a
scam.

That's the downside, and the upside you
won't find on any rap sheet.

You see, this time...

I really fell in love.

You're breaking my heart.

It's true, AJ.

He told me everything when he proposed.

Of course I was hurt.

But he swore he would be a model
husband.

And I believed him.

And I'll tell you something else.

Roland or Harry or Conrad, whatever he
wants to call himself, has kept that

promise.

Catherine, doesn't it bother you that
your son, who may have been murdered,

a con man for a stepfather?

Now, wait a minute, A .J.

The line of inheritance in Tommy's trust
is very specific.

Trish and any children she and Tommy may
have had are the sole beneficiaries.

Roland would have nothing to gain by
Tommy's death.

AJ! I thought I finally had

it.

I really did. I thought...

If I nailed Lubash, we'd have cracked
it.

Taking our I .T. a little strong
tonight, aren't we?

Want a drink?

No, thanks.

I think you already had mine anyhow.

Maybe he's different than I thought.

Would that be so terrible?

He was my best friend.

He had everything.

Brains, talent, a beautiful wife that
loves him.

And now I have to accept that he threw
that all away.

Don't know why.

Maybe never will.

Come on, AJ.

You think having a beautiful, loving
wife and a ton of money is just

automatically going to solve all your
problems?

Well, come to think about it...

I

do know what it's like to lose a friend,
you know. Oh, God.

Here it comes, the angst competition of
finals.

You always win because you have the
worst stories. It's like it's not

for me to hurt.

Nobody's competing, AJ.

I know.

I just wish I could talk to Tommy.

He's one of those two guys, you know,
always give you a

straight answer.

Trish came by the other night.

So is this regret or guilt?

No, nothing happened.

Regret.

I'm Rick.

Embarrassment.

Hey, don't worry about it, AJ. That
happens to every man.

Not me, of course.

Hey, Rick. Yeah.

Don't feel so good.

Don't feel so good.

Come on.

Up you go.

Okay. Okay.

On your own.

This way.

Opening the door.

One foot in front of the other.

Keep that progression going. Call that
walking.

Yeah, you're doing fine.

Hey, it's doing real good. Just keep at
it.

I'm drunk, you know.

I'm not retarded.

It's all right.

Look,

I think that I'm just going to crash on
your sofa over here tonight because I

have feelings tomorrow morning you're
going to need me.

Here we go.

Dead ahead.

Are you ready? Yeah.

You know, I didn't really lose my best
friend.

I felt too.

Well, you've looked worse.

Of course, you were out cold and
bleeding from the ears at the time, but

have looked worth.

No.

Food.

Doesn't look like the bed.

No. No, you're not. You're going to come
back here and take my hangover cure

like a man, or you're going to get the
lecture on personal involvement. Come

Sit. Sit.

I let you have the ball, I let you run
with it, and look what happens to you.

Right now, this omelet has more huevos
than you do, so from now on, I'm calling

the shots.

We have something that we have to do
today.

Here you go.

Unless it involves getting a gun and
putting me out of my misery, I don't

to hear about it. There is one possible
that we haven't talked to.

Huh? Come on, AJ, you'll like it. It'll
be fun.

The two of you can...

Sit around and swap drinking stories.

Rick, right? Yeah, yeah. Hey, Jay.

Nice plane.

Yeah, it's a 1938 Stearman PT -17 with
the original Pratt & Whitney engine.

See something, huh? Yeah.

My boss is going to fly her in the El
Toro air show until she blew a manifold.

Excuse me, do you happen to have any
aspirin anywhere?

A rough night, huh?

No.

Well, you're asking the right guy.

Right over there, next to the bourbon.

You ever fly?

You kidding me? I get on the staff
ladder. I get a note, please.

You going somewhere?

Yeah. The boss picked up a real cherry
DC -3 in Honolulu. I got to fly her

You know, your call didn't surprise me,
you guys.

You want me to go get a bright light so
you can shine in my eyes or something?

My mother sent you, didn't she?

You know, if I'd been the one to die,
she would have hired you two guys to

out who did it just so she could give
him a reward.

Look, you're obviously not on very good
terms with your family.

Family? Now, let's see. Who might that
be?

Dad's gone.

Now, Tommy.

Well, that just leaves dear old mom.

So, yeah, I guess you're right.

Well, then why did you show up at the
party if you knew you weren't going to

welcome? Because I didn't want to
disappoint Tommy.

See, I got along great with him.

So we heard. Hey, that's the truth, man.

We were even going to go into business
together.

Take a look at this.

It's a notarized letter of intent from
Tommy.

Pledges $50 ,000 towards a prototype of
a supercharged fuel injection system

that I invented.

We're going to test her out on that T
-28C over there.

Oh, that's the way it crumbles.

Oh, what the hell?

I don't get it.

Why'd you have to go to Tommy to raise
money?

Oh, you didn't know.

Mother convinced the lawyers that I was
a drunk and that I couldn't be trusted.

Pun intended.

So my allowance barely covers the rent
on a third floor walk -up.

You have plenty of reason to be
resentful.

Yeah, but not of Tommy.

He, uh... He was pretty close to being
the perfect son.

Next to him, I looked like a real screw
-up, but that wasn't Tommy's fault.

I don't want you or anybody else saying
anything different.

How about a shot?

Hello?

Yeah.

Yeah, hang on.

Listen, you guys, that's Trish. She
sounds terrible.

She wants to know how fast she can get
over there.

Hello?

Found those atomic blockers. stuffed in
a sneaker at the racquet club.

Doesn't look like any hard medicine I
ever saw.

I almost threw them out.

Now I wish that I had.

Well, you can still send it to the lab.

Forget it.

That's what any street punk can sell you
for 50 bucks. We both know it.

Want a cup of coffee?

Rick, I've had 37 cups of the damn
stuff. I just want maybe a cup of

Come on, Rick.

I woke up this morning with a splitting
headache and a queasy stomach. I now

have a splitting headache and a queasy
stomach, and I'm hallucinating Mrs.

here. Well, you know, you are a sloppy
drunk and a royal pain in the butt the

next day. Promise me you'll never drink
again.

Look,

just don't tell me what to do.

Don't try and run my life. Fine, just
don't expect me to pick you up off the

floor the next time. Fine. Fine.

I'd send one of you to your room, only
it's a little late in the game.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Mom. Would you like a cup of coffee?
Oh, will you stop pushing that damn

stuff on everybody?

Don't mind him. He's just grumpy.

Really?

Honey, I have some B vitamins in my
purse, and they're supposed to be very

for a hangover.

Did some kind of a memo go out here?

I'm sorry. Would everybody please just
get off my back? I've got to call Mr.

Alder.

The case is closed. Tommy's wife found
enough amphetamines in his locker to

down a bull elephant.

AJ, I'm surprised at you.

Forgive me, Mom.

But my best friend just died like a
common junkie, and I'm having a hard

accepting that.

Then don't. Look, Mom, I don't think...
Well, wait a minute.

I knew Tommy, too, and I know his
mother.

And if she's still unconvinced and you
boys still have your doubts, then don't

stop now.

Mom, there's no doubt.

If they found an entire pharmacy in my
son's pocket and laid it right out in

front of my eyes, I still wouldn't
believe them. I'd keep digging for the

I still don't know where it is we hope
to find.

Neither do I, but Trish said she found
the stuff. Maybe if she shows us where

she found the stuff, then we can...

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

A .J.

Rick.

Catherine.

Hi.

A .J. needs to talk with you.

Well, come in.

Hey.

Actually, it's Trish that we need to
talk to.

Didn't she tell you? Tell us what?

I'm afraid you're going to have to make
do with me.

Beg your pardon? Well, she's gone out of
town for a bit.

She needed rest.

You just missed her. The cab left not
five minutes ago.

I don't understand. What's so odd about
Trish needing to get away?

Maybe nothing.

What are you looking for?

Honestly, I don't know.

Hey, Catherine, when was this picture
taken?

Oh, about two years ago. Oh, yes, of
course. That was my birthday.

That was right after Lance introduced
Tommy to Trish. Lance introduced them?

Yes. Trish was taking flying lessons.
Lance was their instructor.

Now, how did Trish know to call us out
at the hangar? Only Lance knew we were

going to be there. Unless he called her
after we said we were coming over.

She just happened to find a lot of
uppers to throw us off. Is Trish by any

chance going to Hawaii?

Yes, as a matter of fact. How did you
know?

That baby out there? Yeah, forever.

It's AJ and Rick. They must have
followed me. Come on, let's get out of

It's the bags.

Forget the bags.

And so since Lance knew he had been
written out of his mother's will, he

pretended he couldn't care less.

Meanwhile, Trish kept flipping low doses
of amphetamines into Tommy's food,

knowing that sooner or later, Tommy
would kill up her and she'd be a very

widow.

And then a little while later, reenter
Lance to comfort the grieving widow, and

they both live happily ever after.

Almost.

Poor Tommy.

He loved her so much.

Well, women drive men to do stupid
things all the time. Tell me about it.

Lance wouldn't be the first man to
betray his brother for a beautiful

You're going to dredge up that Monica
Castledorf business. Again, a little

glue in a bowling ball is not exactly
the same thing as poisoning an immediate

relative. I nearly ended up with a
dislocated shoulder. You ended up with

Castledorf. Yes, I did.

Boys. Mom, why don't you fix AJ a nice
after -dinner drink?

of Don Diablo on the Rock.