Original subtitles

I'm Al Smith.

I was just an average kid until an accident changed my life.

And since then, nothing's been the same.

My best friend Ray thinks it's cool.

My sister Annie thinks I'm a science project.

I can't let anyone else know.

Not even my parents.

I know the chemical plant was to find me and turn me into some experiment.

But you know something?

I guess I'm not so average anymore.

That's good.

Yeah,

you're fine.

You're doing it. You're doing it.

Well, in 22 years of teaching, I have never seen a student with such complete

command of a vehicle.

You're kidding.

Yeah, I'm kidding.

Bruner, you're next up.

Don't worry, Alex.

I think you're going to make it.

Soon.

Mom. Hi.

We need to talk. What's up?

Do you realize I'm on the verge of getting my driver's license?

Alex, you just got your driver's permit.

Relax. Well, you don't understand. I am practically 16.

My entire high school reputation is in serious jeopardy here.

I could be the only person in Paradise Valley with a license and no car.

I find that hard to believe.

It's true.

Which is why I was wondering if maybe you and Dad could help me out a little

bit?

Alex, we've had this discussion.

If you want to own your own car, you're going to have to find a way to pay for

it yourself.

But I'll be 30 by the time I can afford one.

I seem to remember your sister saved enough for two cars by the time she was

Annie also had mutual funds at seven and a stock portfolio at 14. She's not

normal.

Alex, owning a car is an enormous responsibility.

It's not something that you just decide to get when you're practically 16.

You have to plan for these things.

The word job comes to mind.

Well, let's see where we are.

Huh. The derma detector levels are still low.

What's it look like under the scope, Scooter?

The yeast isn't working.

Oh, great.

If this face cream isn't ready by the end of the week, Ms. Atron said she'd

an even less pleasant assignment for us.

The foot odor's shoeing, sir.

Let's try a little more tetrasodium and red dye number four.

One vial of tetrasodium coming up.

This is all we have left of the sample, so if it doesn't work, we're in deep

foot odor.

What's happening?

What's going on?

Nitrosurgic acid. Oh, I must have grabbed the wrong vial. Can we save the

sample?

I'm a dead man.

Six months of research down the drain.

Relax, Scooter. Accidents happen. We've been at this nonstop, and it was an

honest mistake.

If I explain everything to Ms. Atron, she'll understand.

You believe that?

Well, of course not.

But I promise to make a nice little speech at your funeral.

It just kills me that you're going to be getting your license before us.

That is, if he doesn't choke.

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you guys, but you're looking at a master of the

parallel park.

O 'Reilly says I'm the best he's seen come out of our school since Stinky

in 72.

Check this out. Once I pass, these are my new wheels.

Oh, man, this is sweet. Tell me about it. Wait, you can afford this?

Is it missing an engine or something?

No, it's in perfect shape.

You see, Alex, while you've been quitting jobs left and right, I've spent

three years slaving in an office for my dad, saving money.

I gotta hand it to you, Lewis. This is very cool.

Life is so completely and totally unfair.

Well, Alex, as much as I hate to admit it, Lewis is right. It's your fault you

can't get a car.

I mean, you've had all these jobs and you can barely stay long enough to

a second paycheck.

What do you expect? I can't help it if those jobs didn't pan out. It's not like

I don't try.

Well, don't get your hopes up or anything, but my dad is looking for

work part -time at the company.

Really? Does it pay well?

Money's good. Plus, you get to work with me.

One out of two ain't bad.

It might be worth the pain.

All right, sign me up. Whoa, whoa, hold on there, sister.

I can't promise anything. I'll see what I can do.

My people will call your people.

It's go time, baby. I just got the new graphs in.

Yeah, we're on for Saturday.

Same deal.

Well, you tell him I don't care if he thinks he's Arnold Palmer. He'd better

bring cash this time.

Okay, we'll see you then.

Sorry about that.

So, Alex, Lewis has told me a lot about you. You're interested in a job, huh?

Yes, I am. Oh, one sec.

Yeah, speak.

This is Lou.

Yeah, Ned, talk to me.

I'm expecting delivery here. My man tells me we have a four -day delay. Now,

what the heck is going on with you people?

Look, we go back a long way, and I'm willing to accept a one -day delay for

sake of our relationship. But four days won't fly, baby.

So, Alex, what kind of job experience do you have?

Um, actually, I've had several jobs.

Uh, mostly in the service industry. Oh, come on. You can do better than that.

Who do you think you're talking to here?

Uh, it's... True. I had jobs at Paradise Valley Video, Wayne's Wigwam, and the

Staten Island Bagel Shop in the mall.

Oh, and I've also had extensive babysitting experience.

Are you sure about that? Because I know a line when I hear one.

A line?

No, I definitely had those jobs, Mr. Driscoll.

I mean, maybe not for too long, but I definitely had them.

You see, the video store went out of business, and I can only work at the

when Wayne's on vacation, and the bagel shop...

That I wasn't perky enough.

Well, thanks for wasting my time.

No, from now on, Ned, don't call me, I'll call you.

Sorry about that, Alex Suppliers.

So, where were we?

Hey, don't break that.

See this?

You're looking at the first TV and ballpoint pen in one to hit the market.

67 channels, and the ink's erasable, too.

That's great.

So, about the job.

Oh, yeah, no problem.

Like I told Lewis, if he thinks you're the one for the job, it's fine by me.

Oh, I see.

I've got to get going. Look, if you have any questions about the job, just ask

your supervisor there.

Supervisor, anything else you forgot to tell me?

Welcome to the team.

Look, either you start delivering on time or I'm taking my business

don't care if you are the only sushi place in Third Ice Valley. Ms. Atron?

it quick, Mark.

It's about the face cream. We had a little accident in the lab.

A little accident?

There are no little accidents, Max.

Only little researchers.

I mixed up a vial of tetrasodium, which contaminated our only sample, setting

our research back several months.

Well... I was hoping you'd be this understanding.

I'll keep you updated on our progress.

You did what?

Ms. Atron, as head of the department, I take complete responsibility. We were

all working on our deadline.

Everybody was completely exhausted.

And, well, I just wasn't paying attention.

You know, Matt... Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt, but I had to show you this.

It's incredible.

Sally, what happened?

You know that tetrasodium mix -up?

Well... It turns out that with that chemical additive, our face cream

erases all wrinkles and blemishes.

Mac, you're a genius.

Ms. Atron, it was Gordon who... Not now, Mac. I've got to show this to the

investors right away. I want the production of the face cream stepped up

immediately.

Mac, there could be a very big bonus in this for you.

Bonus? Why are you getting a bonus?

I'm almost done with these.

Uh, what do you want me to do next?

Pretty neat, huh?

My dad got a nice deal on these.

There should be 300 of them. I want you to count them, make sure they're all

there, then load them in storeroom C up on the third floor.

Okay?

Are they all there?

Yeah, Paul, 300 of them. You know, this isn't exactly what I had in mind when

you said I'd be doing product placement.

Look, Alex, I'd love to discuss every detail of your job with you, but I'm a

little busy running this warehouse.

Oh, yeah, sure. Anytime you want to trade jobs, I'd be happy to play those

for you.

Alex, your job is stocking and maintenance, not questioning my

If that's too difficult for you, I can always find someone else to do it.

Oh, and, uh...

And make sure you don't disturb me unless there's some kind of emergency.

How'd you get in here? Never mind that.

What's that noise coming from your shirt?

What noise?

Lewis, give it up. I don't believe you. I mean, first you act like you're doing

me this big favor by getting me this job, and then you slack off while I do

the dirty work.

I mean, what if Big Lou saw you?

You want to know something about Big Lou?

All Big Lou's interested in is golf, schmoozing his clients, golf, making

money, and golf.

He doesn't care what I do. The only reason he gave me this job is because

his son.

And to tell you the truth, I'm only in it for the cash.

I hate working here.

On weekends and late at night. But you know, really, other than that, it's the

best job a guy could ask for.

I had no idea you felt that way, Lewis.

Hey, Dad.

Why didn't you ever mention that you were so miserable here?

Come on, Dad. Even if I had, you wouldn't have heard me.

You never listen to me.

I guess maybe you working here wasn't such a good idea after all.

I guess maybe not.

Fine. Alex, take over for Lewis.

Lewis, I'll see you at home later.

Thanks a lot, Alex.

What was I supposed to do?

I don't know. Maybe say no?

As a friend, you should have stood by me. And as a friend, you should have

helping me out with all that work instead of watching big TV.

Who are you to tell me how to do my job?

If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even be here in the first place. Yeah, and

wouldn't have anyone to boss around and do all the work while you goofed off.

You think you do all the work here?

Fine, you have your time in the hot seat. We'll see how you like handling

the pressure. I'll handle it a lot better than you.

I know you, Mac.

What is this, like job number five now?

Good luck.

Turn it off. Turn it off.

I have never seen such a precipitous decline in a driving student before.

Is anything wrong?

No. Everything's fine.

I think we're going for a course record.

Most objects hit.

Watch out for the pedestrians!

I see them! I see them!

I kind of have to hurry.

Look out!

Just stop it!

Stop the car!

You, sir, have a serious case of road rage.

I'm just having a bad week.

That's no excuse.

You've got to learn to drive responsibly, no matter what kind of a

in. Now, drive like this again next week.

And not only will you not pass, I'll see to it that you're suspended.

Louis?

Miss Atron, there's something I have to tell you.

I didn't really contaminate the face cream. It was Kramer's mix -up. He

the wrong vial.

He's the one who deserves the big bonus.

Not me.

So, you're telling me that Kramer's responsible for this?

Uh, we're, uh, both responsible.

Well, then I have two words for you, George.

Melly, stop.

Louis, maybe you working here wasn't such a good idea after all.

I'm awake.

I'm awake.

I was just thinking.

Yeah, well, you were screaming while you were thinking.

Ray said you might be here. I just came to see if you were okay.

Do I look like I'm okay, Mac?

O 'Reilly's going to fail me, my dad ignores me, and you stole my job.

The whole world's turning on me right now.

No one turned on you, Lewis.

You drove like a maniac, you told your dad off, and you left your job.

Wait a minute. Are you saying that I had something to do with all this?

I know you think I have something to do with your downfall, but just like I

can't blame other people for not having enough money, you can't blame other

people for your problems. You have to take responsibility for them.

If you think your dad doesn't care, talk to him and work it out.

It's not that easy, Alex.

Big Lou doesn't have time to work things out.

Well, you have two options.

Either talk to him or sit here and feel sorry for yourself.

Just mixing up some paperwork.

What are you doing here?

I just came by to see if everything was going okay.

Everything's fine.

Why? Did you hear anything?

Well, I guess I'll just let you get back to your work.

Wait, Lewis?

Yeah?

Uh, everything's really not that great.

Um, I kind of got a little behind.

More than a little.

Well, um, I could help you out and go through some of it. Yes, please.

I beg of you.

I'll go finish up the utility room.

Can you hand me the aloe vera extract?

Sorry, I double -checked.

George, I have something to confess.

When I thought you were going to get the credit for the face cream, I got

jealous.

All I thought about was getting some recognition for myself.

I understand that, Scooter, but we're in this together.

We share the credit as well as the blame. That's the way it works.

We're a team.

Well, at least nobody got hurt.

It's exhausting, it's boring, and it makes huge demands on my social life.

Yeah, but we like money, and it's the only honest way to get any.

I'm going to keep telling myself that, and then maybe I'll survive here a

longer.

What are you doing here?

I was just leaving.

No, actually, he was helping me.

In fact, Lewis really saved me today. If it weren't for him, nothing would have

gotten done.

In fact...

Since everything's done and it's getting late, I'm gonna leave.

I don't understand.

Why'd you help her?

Thought you hated the job.

I didn't hate the job, Dad.

What I hated was you not paying attention to me.

That's because you never gave me a reason to. You never took this job

Well, come on over here. I want you to see something.

What's this?

Well, while I was helping Alex, it occurred to me that it takes us forever

process all this paperwork.

So I thought, why don't we just put all the info in the main database?

That way it's a lot more accessible and convenient.

Not bad, kid.

I'm impressed.

You consider coming back?

Maybe starting fresh?

I don't know.

Do you think we could arrange for some regular inter -office visits so you can

tell me how I'm doing?

You know, maybe just sit down and talk for a couple minutes a day?

I promise.

Sorry I never did it before.

Well... Since I'm starting fresh, I think it would be best if I didn't have

possession of this during business hours.

You must be nervous.

Not as nervous as Mr. O 'Reilly.

It's not over yet. We all know Lewis isn't exactly Mr. Fletch.

Thank you, sir.

I think I'm going to have this framed.

Congratulations, Lewis.

I knew you could do it. Not quite sure I wanted you to, but I knew you could.

Yeah, I never doubted you for a minute.

Well, I have to admit I did get a little nervous there, but...

Then the steel driscoll nerves took over, and I knew exactly what I had to

Jobs, driving, we're going up fast.

She asked me not fast enough.

Hey, guys, it's payday.

I say we go check out the used car lot.

$87. Yeah, you can get a nice set of wheels with that. It's a start.

$87. Yeah.