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I'm Al Smith.
I was just an average kid until an accident changed my life.
And since then, nothing's been the same.
My best friend Ray thinks it's cool.
My sister Annie thinks I'm a science project.
I can't let anyone else know.
Not even my parents.
I know the chemical plant was to find me and turn me into some experiment.
But you know something?
I guess I'm not so average anymore.
How was it at your grandmother's? Oh, okay.
For the first two days. The third day, I hid in the bedroom and watched cable.
Now I'm really glad we're back. You know, you think school is a pain until
hang with your family for a few days.
Yes, I know what she means.
Hey, Alex, did your dad take you to that concert?
Yeah, it was strange. We saw some woman named Rosemary Clooney singing at the
municipal auditorium.
Anyway, it was okay, I guess.
She had this dress made out of like a thousand sequins.
is that?
Who?
Alex, open your eyes. Him.
Possibly one of the most beautiful guys on the planet.
Come on, who?
Don't look now. He's looking.
Um, you guys go on ahead. I'll catch up.
I see your place hasn't changed very much.
I kind of like it the way it is, Mom.
Did you get the check I sent you?
That tiny little thing? Yes, I got it. And your father and I went to Vinnie's
house of garlic, and we split an entree.
There wasn't enough left over for a dessert, so... Well, how are things
along at the plant?
Well, you know, I'm still a truck driver.
Not exactly climbing up the ladder of success, aren't we? Well,
they've put me on some almost important deliveries lately, so you could say
things are looking up.
Your father and I had a lot of plans for you, David, and it hurts me to think
that you're going to be a driver for the rest of your life.
That security thing you were doing seemed to have a lot of potential for
and development.
Although, I really didn't think very much of that Vincent person.
Don't worry, Mom.
I know what you're saying.
But I'm telling you, I just need a break.
Something to come my way.
And then you're going to be very proud of me.
I really hope so.
Your father's back is acting up again, and he sure could use some good news,
know.
I'm going to choose six of you for a special assignment.
Please respond when I call your names.
Alex Mack.
Here. Nicole Wilson.
Ditto. Louis Driscoll. President.
Robin Russo.
Here.
Raymond Alvarado.
Call me Ray.
What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as
sweet.
Uh, sure, but Ray would be fine.
And Eric Zinkowski.
That's me.
No way!
Eric Zinkowski?
He went to elementary school with us when his family moved away.
He used to be a total nerd.
You may have noticed my flamboyant nature this morning. That's because we
starting a very, very exciting module.
William Shakespeare.
In Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet, two teenagers bravely tell each other
how they feel.
Too bad they didn't say it in English.
That is precisely my point, Lewis.
Your exercise is to put Shakespeare into your own words. You'll be assigned a
partner, and as embarrassing as this may sound, I want you and your partner to
express undying love for each other.
Now, let's pair up our Romeos with our Juliettes. Louis with Nicole.
What are you doing? Eric with... Am I glowing?
Uh -uh. With... Since you have so much to say to each other, perhaps you'd like
to share your secret with the rest of the class?
Eric with Robin.
And Ray will be partners with Alex.
I can't believe that's the same Eric.
And I can't believe Robin gets to be his partner.
Even though he's gorgeous, I refuse to let it interfere with our work. Oh, come
on. Are you saying you're not going to be nervous staring into Eric Zengowski's
eyes? Nope. He may be hunkish, but I don't know. He's not my type. He's too
upbeat or something.
Alex, help me out here.
Is he or is he not gorgeous?
Yeah, he's great.
He grew little and got rid of his glasses.
It's really, I don't know, amazing.
Haven't you guys ever heard of contact lenses?
Ray is jealous.
I'm not jealous.
You don't think he's cute?
Nicole, I don't answer questions like that about guys.
So the kid grew up you feeding the last couple of years.
I have a saying, once a nerd, always a nerd. And Eric Zinkowski is a nerd.
Just look at him.
So, can he come with me?
I don't think so, bud. Oh, come on, Eric. This guy said he's going to beat
on my way home.
He's probably just trying to scare you.
Can't you just walk with me just for today?
Sorry, I can't do it. I'll catch you later.
See?
I don't care what you say, Ray.
Something incredible has happened to Eric over the last few years. I mean,
like, despised the laws of nature or something.
I mean, kids change, but not that much.
Eric, you're the break I've been waiting for.
Yes?
Hi. Oh, hi. I understand you want a minute with me?
You have 50 seconds left.
Well, as you know, I've been with the company, Ms. Atron, seven years now.
I started in janitorial with light truck driving duties and then moved into
security. An inspiring story. What do you want, Dave?
Ms. Atron, when I was working with Vince, looking for the kid... What about
I thought we were trying to help him.
But since then, I've heard some things.
Like what?
I heard you tell Lars that if you ever found the kid, that you would have the
kid, me, Vince, and George Mack all eliminated.
Don't be silly.
I mean, obviously, you must have misunderstood.
I want to find that child because I want to help that child.
Really?
You want to help the kid?
Cross your heart and hope to die?
Uh, no.
Why do you ask?
Well, because I'm a team player, Ms. H. Ron.
And if we're planning on helping that kid, I finally have something big to
the team.
And that would be?
I think I found him.
That may sound hard to believe, but his name is Eric Zinkowski.
He left town for a while, but now he's back, twice the size and totally
different looking.
Basically, he's defying the laws of nature.
Dave, I doubt very seriously that this is the right kid, but let's just say
you happen to be right.
What would you want in return?
I want to wear a suit and tie to work.
I want to make my mother proud.
Passion burns inside me, my sweet.
I am but a young man, but I have loins in my fruit.
I'm going to get a drink of water.
Oh, Juliet, you're really, really, I don't know, good.
Oh, Romeo.
Romeo. I really mean it. Super, super good.
Cut.
Eric, first of all, let me start my criticism by saying you have the
of making a really, really great Romeo.
I'm just somehow not moved by what you're saying.
Oh. Why don't you try using a simile? You know, comparison?
Using like or as?
Watch Shakespeare.
Okay.
Oh, Juliet, you're like, you're like, like a movie you really want to get
But it's sold out, and you think you have to go home, but then some guy comes
to you and tells you that his friend didn't show, so he has an extra ticket
can sell you.
I don't know how Robin can stand it. He's so beautiful.
Alex, please, can we just rehearse?
Sure.
Oh, Juliet.
Alex, come on, get serious.
Sorry.
Oh, Romeo.
Here we go.
Juliet, you are like the sun or something.
This is not going to work. And Juliet is the sun.
Remember, Romeo, this is human emotion we're talking about. L -O -V -E, love.
And by the same token, Juliet, you have to be there for your Romeo.
Mrs. Ward?
Yes? In an effort to do the best job possible, I have to report that,
unfortunately, Eric and I don't seem to have the right chemistry.
So we were hoping you could find it in your heart to assign us new partners.
I see.
And how do you feel about that, Eric?
The same, I guess.
Well, Eric, is there anyone else you would like to have as a partner?
Yeah.
I want Alex Mack.
Okay. I don't see why not.
Hello? Hi.
What's with the sunglasses?
Nothing.
Make yourself comfortable on the couch.
I have a little snack for rehearsal.
Okay.
Ready?
Let's start.
Oh, Romeo.
My Romeo.
Where are you, my Romeo?
At the mall?
At the arcade?
Oh, Juliet, it is I who have been rollerblading all the way from
Gardens, yearning to be near you.
Don't you think it would be much better if we were looking into each other's
eyes? Yeah.
I mean, no, Air.
It's better this way.
I read in some acting book that if we look at each other for the first time
during the actual performance, it's much more effective.
If you say so.
But you don't know how long I've been waiting for this moment.
And up until now, I've only worshipped you from afar.
I know, Romeo.
Sorry, Romeo, but I fear I'm in love with you. I'm not myself.
Uh, why are you up there?
Um, you know, I was going for the whole balcony type thing.
So that was pretty good, huh?
Yeah.
So, do you have a boyfriend or anything?
Me? No.
I mean, not right now.
Yeah, me either. I mean, a girlfriend.
I never had one, you know, because I was such a nerd.
Don't say that, Eric.
You aren't that much of a nerd.
Besides, sometimes it's good to be not so popular.
Really?
Oh, this is great, Alex. I didn't think I would get into this Romeo and Juliet
thing. But doing it with you is actually making it kind of fun.
How do I love thee?
Oh, let me count the ways.
Increased appetite, lack of appetite. Too much sleep, followed by
Yep, I have all those things.
Your mind wanders uncontrollably. You have an inability to concentrate.
That's it exactly.
And it only happens when you look deeply into his eye?
Uh -huh.
Yep.
Just as I suspected. This is obviously another one of those GC -161 weird side
effects. But Eric and I have to be in front of the whole class tomorrow.
Too bad I can't help you.
Why not?
You're in love.
And I suggest you get over it.
Or you avoid eye contact with him because there's nothing that anyone can
you.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
My name is David Watt and I work for the Paradise Valley Chemical Plant.
We're doing a promotion where we meet and greet the teens of Paradise Valley.
And then we give them a pair of new basketball shoes for free. Free
Well, yeah.
We'd like to invite you down to the plant today after school.
Can my mom come?
Sure she can. Okay, we'll be there.
One more thing.
All participants in this promotion have to have been in Paradise Valley on
September 11, two years ago.
Were you in town then?
Yeah. Yes, I was.
How can you be so sure?
That today I wouldn't forget.
We'll see you there.
Juliet, your eyes are like two basketballs.
Big and brown.
Blue.
Oh, Romeo.
And your hair is so nice, too. You could be on one of those TV commercials.
But, Romeo, my family's from Winding Oaks and your family's from, like, few
states. There might as well be an ocean between us.
My dad isn't exactly thrilled either.
I haven't seen him express such pain since I dropped the barbell on his foot.
That was very, very good.
Now, did you see how they expressed the same emotions that Romeo and Juliet
felt, but in their own words?
Very well done.
Now, has anyone seen Alex or Eric?
They're up next.
Oh, great.
Alex.
What are you, crazy? Morphing an English class?
I couldn't help it. I'm too nervous.
I can't go through with this. I can't go through with this.
What are you going to tell Miss Ward?
What is it, man?
I'm late.
I was just wondering why you don't come over to my house anymore.
Yesterday I got a new modem and my mom made chocolate milk and everything.
Get real, bud.
But you love chocolate milk, Ricky.
You know, when it gets near the end, you gotta use the spoon.
Look, I don't know how to say it, but I'm done with you guys.
I'm moving on.
Come on, Eric.
You'll get over it, man.
I gotta get back in there.
Alex!
What are you doing out here? We're late.
Um, I was just getting some fresh air. I got held up after soccer practice. We
better get inside.
I'll be along in a minute.
Oh, Romeo, I once felt a passion for you, but then I've learned that it's
to take our time so we don't do anything foolish.
I mean, who knows what type of person you really are.
My love for you, Juliet, is beyond compare.
The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you... Easy, Romeo.
You know, the more I think about it, my first attraction to you was really
superficial.
In fact, I sort of fear you are a loser.
Oh, Juliet, surely you're kidding.
No, Romeo.
The man I love is good and fair to his friends, regardless of how uncool or how
unpopular they may be.
Well, that was different.
He promised he'd be here right after school. Three o 'clock.
What time is it?
Five after three.
He should be here any second.
Let's hope so.
For your sake, Dave.
Ms. Atron.
Eric Zinkowski and his mom.
Eric, where were you September 11th, two years ago?
It was a Thursday.
I was at Buddy Green's house doing models. We did that every Thursday for
five years.
And Buddy's birthday is September 11th. That's how I remember.
Excuse me?
And two years ago, I was probably building a model for the Bismarck. Yeah,
pretty sure it was the Bismarck.
Are you sure?
Yeah. So where's my sneakers?
Out of my office.
Dave, not you.
Sorry about all this. The promotion has been postponed for a while. We'll be in
touch.
What was I thinking?
You are lucky to even have a truck driver job here. And if you ever so much
even try to speak to me again, you will absolutely be eliminated.
Now, get out.
Ms. Atron isn't a nice person. I know that for sure now.
I'd much rather help a poor kid than an evil woman like her.
I understand.
And David, I want you to know that no matter what you do, no matter how
disappointed we may seem, your father and I are always very, very proud of
you.
Oh, but your place is really a mess.
How can we live like this?
Him.
He is cute.
Yeah, but I got a good look at his insides, and believe me, they're not as
as his outsides.
That's mature of you.
Don't get me wrong.
I mean, he's still gorgeous.
I gotta admit.
I still have a crush on him.
Scott, too. Why do I like these guys that are so wrong?
It's that chemistry thing.
It's so hard to explain.
Sometimes your heart tells you one thing and your brain tells you something
else.
It's usually better to trust your brain.
Are you sure he's a jerk?
Yep.
Too bad.
I know.
It's not fair.
Don't worry.
Someday you'll find a guy whose insides are just as cute as his outsides.
How do you know? You haven't yet.
No, not yet.
Maybe tomorrow.
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