Original subtitles

I'm Alex Mack.

I was just an average kid until an accident changed my life.

And since then, nothing's been the same.

My best friend Ray thinks it's cool.

My sister Annie thinks I'm a science project.

I can't let anyone else know.

Not even my parents.

I know the chemical plant was to find me and turn me into some experiment.

But you know something?

I guess I'm not so average anymore.

the only true voice for the wayward teenagers of Paradise Valley. And I have

some good news and some bad news for the kids at Atron Junior High.

The bad news is that there's 54 minutes until first period.

The good news is that there's 420 minutes till school gets out.

I just wanted to tell you I'm your biggest fan. I know everyone says it,

the guy.

That's quite a statement, Lewis.

Quite a statement.

May I ask you a very personal question?

Sure, anything.

Did you do your homework last night?

Uh, sort of. Most of it.

I got a little caught up in some personal matters.

Mystery man says, you got to do the homework, Flusharoo.

That was beautiful.

Hey, did you do your homework last night?

Uh,

sort of, most of it.

Can't believe the mystery man gave me the old Flusharoo.

Hey.

He gave me the flusher route once.

It was an honor.

What I don't understand is why he wants to be the mystery man.

I mean, if you or him and every kid loved you, wouldn't you want them to

who you were?

Nah. The mystery man's too cool for that. He travels at night, incognito.

You guys don't know what you're talking about.

And you do. Of course I do.

I happen to know who he is.

His name's Chucky Diamond. He had a show back in Cincinnati.

But there he called himself... The Sludge Man.

I recognize his voice.

The Sludge Man?

Sludge is very big in Cincinnati.

I happen to know these kinds of things.

When you're Louis Otto Driscoll, you play by a different set of rules.

Driscoll! You know the rule!

No student shall throw, toss, or project any article of refuse on school

grounds. Detention at 1 ,500 hours.

Yes, sir.

Looks like Reynolds doesn't follow those different rules.

Otto.

Here's where it all comes together.

Oh, Darren, this is my daughter Annie.

Oh, nice to meet you, Annie.

Darren's joining the internship program for a couple of weeks. He was in the

gifted program at Pittsville Science Academy. For a while. I left.

Didn't really enjoy being around all those super brains all day long.

That's too bad.

Annie's a super brain.

Dad, I am not.

Welcome to the lab. There's a lot to do here.

I can see that.

It's going to be a real thrill working with your father.

I'm actually basing my thesis on some of your work, The Third Law of

Thermodynamics. You read my thesis?

Read it.

I did a paper of my own to back up your findings.

Did you use the same starting point? Of course. The myth of increased entropy

and the subjectivity of order versus chaos.

Well, come on. Let me show you the vending machine.

Nice meeting you.

I guess I'll be seeing you guys later.

Why don't you just chill out? Every kid hates us.

He can't help it. He's vice principal. He's supposed to bust us.

Besides, he was in the 43rd.

The 43rd of what?

I don't know. The 43rd Airborne or something. It's a military game. I just

that the 43rd are way up there.

Hey, listen.

You think Lewis was right about the mystery man being the same guy as the

man up in Cincinnati?

Who knows?

I know how we can find out.

How? Go to the radio station ourselves.

Uh -uh.

Oh, come on, Alex. That'd be so cool. We'd be the only kids on a first -name

basis with the guy.

Ray, he's the mystery man, and the radio station likes it that way. They're not

just going to let us in to meet him.

That's why we're going to sneak in.

It's important this testing be conducted in the strictest of controlled

environments. There's no margin for error.

So to help ensure accuracy, I'm going to be splitting you up into teams of two.

Questions? Comments?

Good. You'll get your samples tomorrow, and testing will continue through the

end of the week.

Okay.

Geraldine and Ace, you'll be team A.

Steve and Edie, you'll be team B.

And Rodney, I guess you'll be teamed with... Albert.

And Annie, I guess that leaves you and... Oh, sorry I'm late.

The elevator got stuck between floors.

Oh, Darren, I almost forgot about you. I guess you and Annie will be our final

team.

Everything okay?

Yeah, fine.

It's just my dad's never seen me up this early before. I told him we were

finishing homework.

And you believed him? I doubt it.

Look, maybe this isn't such a good idea.

Maybe we should just go home. I haven't even had breakfast yet. Oh, come on,

Alex. It's not like we're going to rob the place. All we want to do is meet the

mystery man.

All right.

Let's see if we can find a way in.

I don't know. I think I want to wear the yellow blouse, Dad.

I think that looks fine, honey.

Fine?

I don't want to look fine.

Uh, it looks nice?

I'm going to change.

What happened to her?

I don't know.

She's acting like she's going out on a date or something. Is there something

special going on at the lab?

Not really.

We'll be working in teams for the next couple of days.

Teams? Yeah, two -person teams.

Um, and Annie's partner, could it be that Darren boy that you've been telling

about? Mm -hmm.

George, it amazes me how out of touch you are sometimes, but you always mean

well. You gotta love me.

And I do.

I think I'll go talk to her.

Before we get to our next tune,

Very important announcement.

Rumors about eighth graders Ernie German and Laura Robinson being kaput were

premature.

You're lucky, Ernie. Laura thought it over and she says all is forgiven.

Better buy her something nice.

This is something new for you.

You're reminding me of your little sister at the moment.

Mm -hmm.

I hope you understand the importance of the test we're doing.

Of course I understand.

What does this shirt say to you?

Renaissance Fair.

Great.

This clothes thing doesn't have anything to do with Darren, does it?

No.

Why? Well, I just want to make sure you're not going to have any problem

with him.

Of course not. I'm just trying to find something to wear.

Good, because these tests are not only important, they can be dangerous, too. I

expect you to be fully focused.

Okay. Don't worry about it. Come on, I've got to change.

Okay.

I

think

this is the best spot. Let's go.

What are you doing?

You should have brought me with you.

Sorry, climb over.

I can't believe no one's ever snuck in here before.

What?

Wait, what are you doing?

You don't understand.

Oh, no.

I gotta talk to you. Greg, would you knock? I'm trying to get dressed here.

Hey, do you like this shirt?

Uh, not really.

Annie, I think Alex is in trouble.

What do you mean? What happened? Well, we tried to sneak in the radio station,

but she got caught, and I don't know what happened to her.

What is the matter with you two?

Alex Mack.

Okay, Paradise Valley, this is an oldie but a goodie, and it goes out to all my

friends over at H -Tron Junior High.

Man, that was amazing.

You should have seen Annie's face when she heard you on the radio.

That was pretty cool.

How'd you get away from the cops?

Well, I made a little deal.

With who?

With the mystery man.

What kind of deal?

When the cops brought me in, I saw him. You saw the mystery man?

Yeah, but I took an oath of secrecy and I can't tell anyone what he's like or

who he is.

But me, you'll tell me. I'm your best friend.

Ray, I can't. Sorry.

Well, Alex, I respect that.

I really do.

No, I don't. This is ridiculous.

It was my idea in the first place for us to sneak in there.

I can't do it, Ray.

Oh, Alex!

What? I told you. I swore I wouldn't tell.

You mean you can't even tell us what he looks like? Well, I heard he was the

kind of deformed guy, you know, like with moles and pus and stuff, which is

they have to keep him a sneaker. But he's from Cincinnati, right? I'm not

telling. Come on, man. Spill it. Man, she didn't even tell me.

All right. You don't have to say anything.

Just nod your head. Does he have long hair?

Maybe there's a reason why he's a mystery man. Maybe there's more to him

meets the eye. You should just be happy he's doing what he does and stop asking

so many questions.

Excuse me.

Uh, we were up early this morning and she didn't get her sleep.

Man, I know it's Chucky Diamond and Alex just doesn't want to admit that I'm

right.

This is an unauthorized gathering on school grounds.

90 seconds to disperse.

Go.

Hey, the saturation point is at .75 grams.

Did you get that?

The saturation point.

Yeah, right.

It's 75 grams.

No, it's .75 grams.

Are you okay?

Sure. I was just caught up in how precise you

are.

Oh, so it's .

7 .5 grams. Well, we have to be accurate. Your father wants these test

to be flawless.

Okay, let's see how reactive it is at high temperatures.

Great.

Annie? Yeah?

The flask?

Right.

Now that I know who the mystery man is, it's just not that fun anymore.

Maybe I should just tell everyone so they'll quit bugging me.

Well, but then it would ruin it for them, too.

It seemed like it would be so cool to know who he really was.

But now that I do know, it's not so great.

Alex, do you remember when you were younger and you used to peek at your

Christmas presents?

You mean before you started hiding them in Ray's garage?

Yeah.

Anyway, do you remember what it was finally like when you got to open them

Christmas morning?

Yeah, it was, like, big deal.

Right.

Annie?

Annie was always really excited when she got to open her present.

Because Annie never peaked.

She'd get mad if I tried to tell her what she was getting.

Hmm.

Sometimes in life, my darling, a little mystery is a good thing.

So, how'd it go today?

I think we got some positive results.

And Darren?

Dad, I don't know how to say this, but Darren's awesome.

I see.

He's also extremely accurate.

Well, I hope you remembered to cap your test tubes.

The vapors from the chemicals you were working with, they're highly

But you know that.

Dad, would you excuse me?

Alex needed me to do something for her.

Annie, I cleaned up your workstation.

Luckily, nothing went wrong, but I assume you'll be more focused on your

next time.

Love, Dad.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the Mystery Man radio program will no longer

heard on KPVK.

Instead, we offer this alternative programming.

Nice going, Alex. Thanks to you, no more Mystery Man show.

Thanks to me. What did I have to do with it?

Well, maybe he's sick or something.

And monkeys can fly? I think Alex got him fired.

People are talking, Alex. People are really talking.

It's not my fault, Lewis.

The mystery man, maybe he has problems of his own that he needs to work out.

Yeah. Or maybe the establishment had their fill of him and shut him down.

More likely it was you.

Oh, listen to him, Alex. He's just taking it pretty hard.

Attention, class.

Miss Ward was unable to make it to school today.

Therefore, I'll be your substitute.

That's enough.

Open your textbooks to page 55.

Not your fault, Alex.

Probably got transferred back to Cincinnati.

That's the way the radio business works.

Do you know what happened?

No, I don't know.

Mystery Man and I aren't exactly best buds.

Can't you do something?

Miss Mac, you are excused.

Go to my office and wait for me.

I'll be there at the end of the period.

Can't you at least tell me why you quit?

Is it my fault?

No, no.

I just finally decided that I'm a vice principal, not a DJ.

After all these years?

If you had a choice, it seems like it'd be a lot more fun just to be the mystery

man.

Well, someday, Mac, you'll learn that life isn't all about having fun.

Doing that little radio program doesn't pay my bills.

And anyway, you don't know what it's like to have a secret.

A secret that no one else could find out about.

Or it would change your life entirely.

Does this have anything to do with the fact that I found out who you are?

Because I won't tell.

Ever.

I don't know.

Sometimes I see how the kids look at me as vice principal.

And I just want to get on the PA and let everybody know that I'm the mystery

man, too. But I can't. If they found out, I couldn't be Mr. Reynolds anymore.

And I couldn't be the mystery man, either.

So I just decided it was time for me to make my choice.

Decide who I am.

Mr. Reynolds, come here a second.

Usually everybody would be laughing and joking about what they heard on the

Mystery Man show this morning.

There's Ernie and Laura.

No, they were all broken up until you mentioned them on your show and got them

back together.

Don't you see?

Losing the mystery man is major.

We need him.

What about Mr. Reynolds?

Him we could probably do without.

I'm just kidding. We need both of them.

One to keep us in line and one to make us laugh.

Maybe the mystery man doesn't need to retire.

The only true boys.

I don't think so either.

All right, Mac.

Thanks.

Now get back to class.

And if you ever throw another eraser... I won't.

That secret still holds?

Sure.

Sometimes a little mystery's a good thing.

Nickerson, you're walking the line, son.

tickets to the first eighth grader who can call and tell me what the capital of

Norway is.

Caller one, Mindy Schneider from Pittsville Gardens.

Um, Boston?

Flush -a -roo! You're gone, Mindy.

Boston? It's Oslo, you dweeb stick.

Unless you've been locked in the study hall, you all know about the Matthew

Jenkins and Kelly Phillips incident at the community pool this past weekend.

Kelly, just say whoa!

Dad told me about the joke he played on you.

Yeah.

I learned my lesson.

That's why we're all here, sweetheart.

Oh, do you like this sweater on me?

Yeah.

So, have you boys stopped

pestering Alex about the mystery man's true identity?

Well, Alex... claims that in her constant quest for attention, she

the entire incident.

I don't know if I buy it.

Yeah, me neither.

It's true.

I was in a soundproof booth. I didn't really get a good look at him.

You know how I am, Mom, always needing lots of attention.

Um, yeah.

Mrs. Mack, if Alex is telling the truth, I strongly recommend you take her to

some kind of specialist.

I mean, I make up stuff, but never anything as important as this.

I'll take that under advisement, Lewis.

I'm done with it anyway. No more lying, no more secrets.

Well, I guess I can have a couple of secrets.

Okay, kids, bolden the think. It's time for school.

Nice going, honey.

Thanks, Mom.

Type. You want to know who the mystery man really is? No!

Good.