All language subtitles for newhart_s05e24_much_to_do_without_muffin

I did.

Steph, your reason for living is here.

So you're what keeps her going.

Michael, just let me get a jacket and
then we can go.

I'll be waiting with minted breath.

Oh, George, did you get everything?

I tried everywhere, but there seemed to
be a run on blue cheese.

Rats.

Blue cheese, blue, Steph?

Dick and Joanna first met on a picnic on
Memorial Day weekend. So every year on

the anniversary, they have a romantic
little picnic the exact same way.

Till now.

Perfectly good tradition shot to hell.

What tradition?

Dick and Joanna have a food fixation.

It's not a fixation, it's a tradition.

And I say potato.

Dick, you could learn from Steph and me.
We steer clear of that nonsense.

I mean, it's fine to do a tradition
once, but, you know, after that, they

kind of repetitive and constrictive.

Dick, honey, look. It's the basket.
We're all set.

Looks like this cheese thing's about to
come to a head.

Honey, George checked everywhere, but he
couldn't find any blue cheese for our

picnic. No cheese?

If I had known it was going to turn out
this way 17 years ago, I would have

packed Velveeta.

Stratford Inn.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Vanderkellen.

Stephanie, it's your mom.

Oh, Mommy must be calling to tell me
what my Memorial Day present is.

You get a present for Memorial Day?

It's a three -day weekend, isn't it?

Hi, Mommy.

So, Michael, what are you and Stephanie
doing this weekend?

Oh, actually, George, I've got kind of a
surprise planned for Steph. I convinced

Bev to close down the station for the
entire weekend. We're just going to

broadcast 72 hours of programming with
the Memorial Day theme.

A three -day Gilligan's Island marathon
in memory of those left behind.

So now Steph and I are free to Z to NYC
to CNBC.

I got most of those letters, Michael.

You're driving to New York? That's
right, George. Wow, I'd be jealous if I

didn't have something special planned
myself.

I've got a big beaver blowout.

It's our annual spaghetti and tomato
sauce sit -down.

Wow. Yeah, I could try to wangle a
couple of extra tickets for you. Let me

Beaver Bash, Broadway.

Beaver Bash, Broadway. Now, George, you
did say annual, so I'll get a crack at

this next year?

Well, then it looks like I'm Broadway
-bound.

Looks like you don't have a choice.

Bye, Mommy.

So, Steph, what are you getting? How
does it stack up against your

Day booty?

Well... I don't know yet, Michael, but
I'll find out as soon as I get to

Newport. We're going to Newport? Oh, I
just love that castle by the bay.

Oh, Michael, I have some bad news.
You're not going, just me.

I don't follow. I don't follow.

My best friend from Deb class is having
a baby.

I think her name was Sherry.

Anyway, Mommy's made all the
preparations for me to host a baby

in the Vanderkellen West Wing. You see,
it's girls only.

And besides, this way I'll be able to
brag about you without you actually

there trying to live up to my
description.

Steph, if you go without me, it'll be
our first weekend apart ever.

And a three -dayer.

I know, Michael.

So I'm going to have to have an extra
lot of fun so I won't have to think

that.

Steph, I even made plans for us to go to
Nueva York.

Oh, Michael.

I can't go. Whenever the Debs get
together and someone doesn't show up,

assume she's fat.

Honey, I have a surprise.

It's a blue cheese.

Dick, you found some.

Blue cheese food.

Well, you may have to settle for...
Artificial cheese, but you'll get the

Dick Loudon.

Hi, I'm Larry.

This is my brother Daryl, and this is my
other brother Daryl.

And we're about to embark on our annual
trek for some sunbathing on the Riviera.

You guys are going to France?

No, we're just going to lie on top of an
old abandoned Buick.

And you're welcome to join us. Well,
thanks, guys, but now that our cheese

through, we're going to go ahead with
our own plans.

Okay, but if it makes it any more
attractive to you, it is bathing suits

optional.

It doesn't.

Oh, and by the way, guys, we're not
interested in seeing any slides of your

vacation.

How about you?

Oh, I'm sorry, guys. I have a beaver
function later on.

We understand.

It takes a lot of time to get ready for
one of them uppity highbrow affairs.

Come on, Daryl.

First one there gets whatever's left in
the ashtray.

Okay, I'll get the wine and the cheese
food, Blyther.

I'm worried about you.

I don't want you to spend the entire
weekend sitting home alone in your

apartment. Don't worry, Steph. This
afternoon, I figure I'll just go out and

catch a matinee.

What if it's something that we wanted to
see together?

Oh, yeah. Well, then I'll just... I'll
go out window shopping.

Without me? What if you're seeing?
People will think we broke up.

You're right.

Well, then I figure maybe I'll just
spend the weekend sitting home alone in

apartment. That sounds good.

Bye, Michael.

Be gone three whole days.

Will you remember me?

Steph in my wallet, in my heart.

As long as I can picture you, I've got
the strength of a thousand caballeros.

You did everything you could.

I just heard, time to go.

You want me to slap him, Dick?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be okay.

Just a touch of cupcake withdrawals.

What's going on?

Cupcake withdrawals.

I can cope with being alone.

I can have fun.

Well, let's get started on our picnic.

What?

Let's not.

Michael, this is a private anniversary
picnic. Remember, just Joanna and me.

Dick, Dick, not this silly tradition
hang -up again.

I'll tell you what. I'll come along. If
I get in the way, just tell me and I'll

leave.

Why do you find my myself?

Skipper, I think that if we could only
place this coconut satellite into a low

orbit, we could make radio contact with
a Coast Guard station on the mainland

and finally get off this island.

I'm just looking for my car keys.

You lost them?

Well, not officially.

Dick, we always get there late. We get a
table in the back, and then you say you

don't want to dance because the walk to
the dance floor is too far.

I thought that was part of the
tradition.

the brother, Daryl.

And we're one collective ouch.

Guys, you're all sunburned. No.

Sorry about the sarcasm, but we are in
pain.

And it's our own fault.

We woke up on the hood of the car and
heard the sound of eggs frying.

Then Daryl pointed out it was us.

Anyway, we could use some salve or
ointment.

Or something in the jelly or jam family.

Well, guys, we don't have anything for
sunburn, but I'm sure Peterson's drugs

and stuff will.

Thanks. Come on, Daryl.

At least there's one upside to this.

Tomorrow, the one with the longest
continuous peel wins.

Have you seen my car keys?

Lots of times. Why?

The last time I saw them, they were in
the study.

Michael, I didn't know you were here.

I was just up in Stephanie's room.

It's so cute. It's so cozy.

closer to her.

Michael, I just want you to know my sock
drawer is off limits.

So, you need a hand, George?

No, thanks. I already got four of them.

Good one.

Oh, this could be the problem here. No
cord.

Michael, that clock is over a hundred
years old. It's an antique.

Sounds like it's ready for the old
replace -erino.

What do you say we head into town and
get you a nice new flashy digital one

talks to you?

Uh, Michael, don't you miss your pillow?

I'm okay for now.

I, uh, I think I'll do this later.

and I can help with.

What do I do?

Michael, did you know that Dick and
Joanna are in the study? Oh, really,

Thanks.

Hi, guys. Miss me?

Thanks a lot, George.

Well, this is great. So where are we
going tonight?

Joanna and I are going dancing alone and
you're doing whatever.

I got it. I'll chaperone.

Come on, Joanna. You can't say you
wouldn't feel more comfortable with

else around in case Dick decides to get
fresh?

Boy, they have indoors.

So what's on, George?

Well, I'd love to keep you company,
Michael, but I'm going to the spaghetti

dinner. Sounds good. This pie's on prime
for pasta.

Aren't you forgetting?

It's at the Beaver Lodge.

Well, how badly can they ruin spaghetti?

Oh, you really are lonely.

Well,

Michael, this is it. The Beaver Lodge.

Is it everything you expected?

Actually, George, yes.

Well, let me show you around.

This is the bar, and this is the lodge,
and you've seen the parking lot.

Yeah, those new lines really jump out at
you.

Boy, I love spaghetti night.

This is a better turnout than last year.

Well, it's amazing that a group of three
men would get this excited over food

cooked in a van.

Hey, George, who's the new guy?

You know me, Harley, Michael Harris.

You? Here?

In the beaver lodge?

What are you, a baby woodchuck?

No capisce.

That's what we call all the new pledges.

Oh, I'm not pledging. Does that mean we
don't get to paddle them?

George, not this time.

So, you all set for the big contest?

There's a contest?

Sure is, for the person who ends up with
the biggest spaghetti stain.

Yeah, the winner is chosen by an
impartial panel of experts.

Good luck tonight, Harley. Thanks.

The adrenaline's pumping so hard my hand
is shaking.

Good start.

Hi, George.

Hi, Buck.

Who's the baby woodchuck?

No, Michael is just a friend.

Oh, you mean we don't get to... Hey,

George. Oh, hi. Oh, this is Mel Donner.

He's on the parking lot committee.

Notice those new lines? How could you
miss them? Yeah.

Hey, what's with the tie?

Oh, it's just your basic cotton twill.

Nobody wears a tie at the Beaver Lodge.
It's in the bylaws.

Yeah, what if it accidentally dips in
the thaw?

Hey, fellas, a tie's like Magellan. It's
history.

So, uh, what do you do, Mike?

Oh, Michael is a TV producer.

Well, I just want to know who's
responsible for the Gilligan's Island

Oh, Michael is.

You put on Gilligan's Island?

Well, I'm really not in charge of the
station. I love that show.

But I did say either put on Gilligan's
Island or this guy's walking.

All right.

That little Gilligan guy, he kills me.

What's he really like? Is he that wacky
in person?

Hey, what do you think?

I told you. I told you. I told you.

Hot stuff.

Hey, Earl.

Guess what Mike here does.

TV shows.

Sports? No.

Killikens Island.

Really? Yeah.

Dibs on sitting next to the new guy.

Oh.

He's going to sit next to me, little
buddy.

Hey.

Oh, wow.

Look at this place.

I can't believe how neat it is.

Hard to believe he could win a fame
contest.

Michael, don't forget.

Don't forget we're going to need that
shirt for the display case.

Get a load of her.

Who's the cheesecake?

Yeah. Hey, guys, that's no cheesecake.
That's my cupcake.

I'll give you a dollar for that one
right there. I wish I could, Earl, but

would destroy the integrity of the
entire montage.

Oh, yeah.

So, guys, let's say we work off dinner
by running a marathon.

All right, now listen.

I think this is the one where they
finally get off the island. Oh, yeah,

Hello.

Is Michael home? Yeah.

Is he still alive?

Look, it's Cupcake.

Oh. There.

Oh,

don't worry. It's just tomato sauce.

Steph, I can explain.

No, I can't.

Guys, everybody out. Let's go. The
party's over.

Hustle, hustle, hustle. Let's go. Nice
meeting you. Come on.

I want to see how this thing ends. Trust
me, they don't get off the island.

You ever saw a guy win a spaghetti stand
contest where it didn't go to his hair?

Come on, guys. It's all right.

Everybody out. Come on. Party's over.

back until Monday.

I got bored. I missed you. I came back.

Michael, is this the way you really are
when I'm not around?

Have all these years been an act?

No. I mean, it's one thing to spend time
with George, but what were all those

horrible men doing here?

Well, you did say don't do anything we
normally do.

Those weren't beavers.

Seth, you don't know what I...

I guess so.

Well, Mr.

V gave me the long -distance hippo, and
then Dick and Joanna wouldn't dance with

me, so when George begged me to go to
the beaver lodge, I said yes.

Tell me you didn't join.

No, but they did make me honorary baby
woodchuck.

Oh. Don't worry, Steph, I didn't let
them paddle me.

Oh.

Steph, I don't understand it either.

I mean, I talked about hunting and
fishing. I laughed at a joke about a

and his goat. I don't understand.

And, Steph, you know what the worst part
of it was?

I had fun.

I guess it just really felt good to be
one of the guys.

Michael, you weren't one of the guys.
You were one of those guys.

Well, Steph, I... I know the beavers eat
spaghetti with their hands, and they

applaud when you belch.

But I guess underneath the tomato sauce,
we're all pretty much the same.

I'm sorry. I... I guess I just... I miss
you so gosh darn much.

I never realized that my leaving would
have such an effect on a person.

Although I was pretty sure.

Well, Michael, if having fun with the
Beavers made you realize how

miserable you are without me, then I
guess it's okay.

Oh, Steph, what would I ever do without
you?

Michael, we found out.

Now that this awful half day apart is
behind us, what do you say we go back to

the inn and get away from this yucky
beer smell?

All right, Steph.

I just want to make one quick stop
before we go.

After the way I treated the beavers, I
owe them an apology.

Are you sure?

Steph, I don't think I want men who hunt
to be mad at me.

Guys! So, can we come back in now? You
mean you're not mad at me?

Are you kidding? Happens all the time.

Yeah, usually when a wife comes home, we
get the boot. But we're always invited

back again.

Seth?

Just get it out of your system.

Hey, and George, thanks for being there
for me when my muffin was missing.

Thanks for letting us use your place.

Hey, anytime.

Michael!

Oh, Steph, will you stay, too? Trust me,
it's really not so bad once you give it

a chance.

Hey, Mike, think you can get your
girlfriend to dance for us?

tomorrow, Michael.

Now.