Original subtitles

Well, I just loaded the last guests into their car.

The inn is now officially closed for renovation.

Great, George, because I have a project here that's going to be as exciting to

you as it is to me.

Uh -oh.

George, I want you to build a bookcase here on the wall.

It'll be sort of a lending library for the guests featuring the collective

of Dick Loudon.

America's Mr. How -To.

I'll get on it as soon as I build that fence we're so excited about.

And, George, you might be able to use this.

It's a book I wrote on shelf building.

Shelf Help by Dick Loudon.

Cute.

Don't need it.

George, what I'm trying to say is I want you to use this book. You know,

building a bookcase can be tricky.

Right. We wouldn't want me to slip and accidentally build a ship or something.

Oh, uh, Stephanie, I've decided to close the inn earlier than I expected.

No more stupid guests to wait on. No more stupid rooms to clean. No more

bosses to listen to.

Whoa, all the cats away.

Michael, get closed the inn early.

Well, let me get in there.

Take my place.

So, where are you two going on your vacation?

Or is this it?

Actually, I've left that up to Cupcake Tours. But she's having trouble

I just want to make sure I pick the country I'll look best in.

And I have.

Morocco.

Morocco.

I went there in the army and I hated it.

But were you wearing a strapless sundress and doing this?

No.

Steph, Morocco is so far away.

Expensively far away.

I'm sorry, I absolutely can't afford it. You'll have to put it out of your mind.

I want to go to Morocco.

I'll find a way.

What's that?

A letter.

It's from Ginny DeCamp. She and Mitch say New York just isn't the same since

left. Yeah, old Mitch must be lost without me to sell insurance to.

Dick, let's take our vacation in New York and see them. Honey, we're on that

waiting list for the cruise.

I mean, I need a real vacation, not a bigger piece of the rock.

Well, I need to see my friends.

I don't have close friends here, people I can share my thoughts and feelings

with. What about Thelma Greeley? She's a flake, Dick.

Honey, give Vermont a chance. There's all kinds of local organizations you

join. I mean, you used to meet people in New York that way.

Farm Association meeting.

Lecture topic.

I am Bossy's udder.

Well, sure, you went to the work one first.

Ah, here, Chamber Music Club.

Meeting canceled due to...

Popularity of Farm Association Lecture.

Here's one.

The Elm Street Society.

An organization for the preservation and study of old New England culture and

tradition.

You know, that sounds interesting.

Do I have to use this? It's confusing.

Confusing? Yeah, well, look at this drawing.

What do you see?

Just the finest cutaway view of a bookcase since the dawn of man.

Really? I see a guy shaking hands with a squid.

Dick, I've been fixing up this inn all my life. Why can't I build a bookcase my

way? George, because it has to be functional without violating the spatial

architectural integrity of the room.

In other words, you want something yea high and yea wide.

No, George, no yeas. That's the reason for the book. It gives precise

dimensions. I meant exactly yay.

George, use the book.

Whatever you say, Dick. One guy shaking hands with a squid coming up.

What's the matter with him? Nothing. It's just when it comes to new ideas,

head is yay thick.

Hello? Hello, everyone.

I'm Joanna Loudon.

And this is my husband, Dick.

I'm Professor Edward Bellows, and this is Nancy, Amy, Reese, and Kendra. Well,

nice to meet all of you. Please, everyone, help yourself to refreshment.

thank you.

It may just be a hunch, but I think by the end of the evening, you and Kendra.

Your husband won't be joining us? Well, he has friends.

I mean... He's got work to do.

Well, shall we get started?

Amy, why don't you bring us up to date on our last meeting?

The meeting convened at 8 p .m.

The first order of business was to choose a date for our annual society

November 3rd.

Is that all right with you, Joanna?

Fine.

At 8 .15, Reese read the treasurer's report, but then he thought he heard his

wife calling him. So he went into the woods, turned into a raven, and flew

You turned into a raven?

It's the easiest one.

Thank you, Amy. Now I suppose the next order of business today should be to

welcome Joanna Loudon.

And to initiate her into our little circle.

What's going on? It's just our initiation ceremony, Joanna. I mean, if

to be a witch, you have to marry the devil, right?

What?

What's the matter? You don't like weddings?

Who are you people?

The Elm Street Society.

I mean, what are you? Oh, a satanic cult.

Everybody knows that.

I didn't. Really?

Amy, I told you that newspaper ad wasn't clear.

Don't blame me. I laid all three versions of that ad on a bed of

the sacred toad hopped right onto that one. Oh.

Well, then Joanna must have misread it.

All right, Joanna. Now, you'll relax once I anoint you with these bat livers.

Joanna, you say that like it's a dirty word.

Out! Everybody, out!

You too, out! Joanna, give us a chance. You know, we're not so different than

other people.

We even have a credit union.

Out!

Join some organizations, Joanna.

You'll meet lots of friends, Joanna.

You know, I bet we can catch the last 20 minutes of I Am Bossy's Utter.

lock up now.

Fine.

So, how did your history group thing go?

I didn't exactly fit in.

They were a bunch of witches.

Everybody has bad days, Joanna.

I mean, you get pretty cranky yourself sometimes.

I mean, real witches with sacred toes and potions and back livers.

Well, I'm on vacation. I'm not cleaning up after them.

the kind I had in New York. In this whole stupid town, why can't I come up

one good friend?

Okay, I'll do it.

Do what?

Be your best friend.

Stephanie, that's sweet. Oh, come on, Joanna.

I've got time on my hands and you can't make a friend to save your life.

and sense the chemistry.

Well, I didn't have the heart to say no, so I guess the smart thing to do is

just spend a day with her.

What would the stupid thing be?

Joanna, now that we're best friends, maybe you should have a private phone

installed in my room so we can talk late at night.

Stephanie, if you want to talk to me late at night, all you have to do is

down the hall.

But don't.

of rented rooms.

Michael!

Joanne and I have formed a new friendship and she was just testing it.

Oh.

Well, good friends are important.

Especially when you need someone to wave adios to as you climb on that plane to

Morocco.

How did you get the ticket?

Steph, I found a travel agent who all but gave them to me.

Oh, Dick, by the by, here's the shows we've booked for after the vacation.

A two -parter with a travel agent?

Steph, spank me if I'm wrong, but I say a celebratory lunch is in order.

I can't, Michael.

Why not?

Poor Joanna.

Desperate and lonely.

How pathetic.

The smart thing to do is just spend a day with her.

You ready to go?

about this travel agent? Oh, it'll have to wait, Dick. I have to pick his kid up

from school.

More problems with the book, George?

Well, I'm gonna have to cut these studs and replace them with a header across

here. George, you don't have to tell me. I wrote the book.

But the header you describe isn't strong enough, and I don't have to tell the

man who wrote the book what'll happen if that header snaps.

George, I talked to experts. The header is not gonna snap.

What'll happen?

The wall will collapse, and then, well, wait, that could solve all our problems.

How's that?

Room three would fall into the lobby, and room three already has a bookcase.

Do exactly what it says in the book and don't change anything.

Okay, Dick.

I'm sure you know what you're doing.

Joanna, is there a bus leaving?

I can't seem to get the waiter's attention.

Allow me.

the fruit plate.

Uh, chef's salad, dressing on the side, please.

How did you get him to come over?

My vibes.

I have these signals I send out on, like, a guy frequency.

I wonder if I could do that.

Well, anything's possible.

Go ahead and try.

My God, it's working.

Stephanie, he's coming over here. What am I going to say to him?

Hi. Hello.

You are a very attractive woman.

Thank you.

I really should tell you that I... But you should do something about that

squint. Drop by my office.

I'll fix you up with some contact lenses.

Don't feel bad, Joanna. I got some cards when I first started, too.

Fruit. Salad.

Chef's salad. Thank you.

Oh, I ordered this with the dressing on the side.

Then send it back. You're entitled to exactly what you want.

Oh, he's busy.

He's a waiter.

If he didn't want to cater to people's every whim, he would have become the

of something.

Um, excuse me, sir.

I ordered the dressing on the side. Would you take this back, please?

Oh, come on. You were going to pour it on anyway.

back to the kitchen in your hands or in your pants.

Hey, look at you go.

Is there any reason to send your fruit plate back?

No, but let's do it anyway.

Hi,

honey. How'd you sleep?

Fine, once the giggle till dawn party in Stephanie's room ended.

I'm sorry, but Stephanie was telling me all... kinds of interesting and personal

things about Michael that I never would have guessed.

And you just listened, right?

Right.

Hi, Joanna.

Hi, Mr. Ticklish, you know where.

Guess what?

Michael and I talked it over, and we want the two of you to come with us to

Morocco. We've reserved tickets and everything.

What? I really had to lean on the travel agent this time, Dick.

What'd you do, threaten him with a summer home?

So what do you say, Jojo?

Gee, Dick. Well, this is all very nice, but I hated Morocco,

Jojo.

I had one meal there and spent the rest of the week doing my impression of old

faithful.

Dick, it's not fair to condemn an entire country just because of one bad meal.

Actually, Joanna, it is.

But in this case, Dick is just plain wrong. Morocco is world famous for its

cuisine. Well, then don't miss this restaurant because they can take an

parasite and turn it into something really special.

Maybe Dick and I should discuss this privately.

Come on, Michael. You can't hear yelling from the kitchen.

Dick, I know what you're feeling.

Good. Then you won't pursue this any further.

Honey, Morocco's not my first choice for a vacation either, but this is with

Stephanie and Michael.

You're not helping your argument.

I felt the same way when Stephanie wanted to be my friend, but it turns out

she's really fun to be with.

Can't you give it a chance?

You'd prefer this to New York or any place else in the world? I think it'd be

fun for both of us.

And you won't tell Stephanie about any more of my...

Tickle places.

I promise.

Good, because I don't want to be embarrassed and sick.

Thank you.

Steffi and Michael will be so excited.

More than this guy.

Oh, George, I couldn't help noticing the bookcase is finished.

Yeah.

Groom three should have been in here about an hour ago.

I wouldn't do that.

Seems real solid, George.

Oh, George.

Look at the view from up here.

I think I can see New Hampshire.

There's nothing worse than a sore winner.

Sorry, George, but you have to admit, you followed the exact specifications,

it turned out like a charm.

Problem, Dick?

It doesn't fit.

What? It doesn't fit.

Let's try this one.

Nope. What about up here?

Nope. It's too small.

Did you ever think of writing shorter books?

Let's just swing it in like that. We can read it sideways.

Look, there's New Hampshire.

Sit down the window.

Stephanie, Dick really liked to sit by the window.

No, honey, fair is fair. She did say dibs.

Dibs on the way back.

Joanna, you have to sit next to me. Best friends always sit together on planes.

Sorry, Dick.

Well, maybe if nobody takes that seat next to you, we can spend the next 11

hours getting to know each other. With a little luck, we might wind up getting

as tight as these two.

Unless there's a movie.

I'm going to get some magazines.

Please fasten your seatbelts. We're preparing for departure.

Please fasten your seatbelts, please.

Oh, I can't wait to get there. Me neither. I hear there are great buys in

Morocco. Silks, jewelry.

You think we'll see Prince Rainier?

Why would you expect to see him there?

Joanna, you silly. He lives there.

No, he doesn't. He lives in Monaco, near the south of France.

Right.

We're going to Morocco, in North Africa.

Oh, that Morocco.

Ew. You mean like in the desert?

I don't really know. The person to ask about Morocco is Dick. But it made him

sick. Ew.

Michael, we're getting off.

What? Up, up, up.

Disney, you can't leave. The plane is about to take off. Hold on.

But you'll have to take your fever ready for takeoff. Do you realize this plane

is going to Morocco?

Of course.

Well, I hate to be in your shoes when the rest of these people find that out.

If they're not going, then I don't have to go.

Take your seat, please. We're beginning our taxi. We changed our minds. We're

getting off.

Want to bet?

But... I'm sorry, but we're taking off. Please, sit down.

You'll feel better after you've eaten. We're having an authentic Moroccan meal.

Miss... Miss, just...

Toss mine in here and eliminate the middleman, all right?

Cheer up, honey. At least we're on vacation.

But I hate Morocco.