Original subtitles

I don't understand why the previous owners didn't take this with them when

left the inn.

Yeah, what could they have been thinking?

Laura, we have so much junk to get rid of. I just hope it doesn't rain

It rains every time I have a yard sale.

Honey, it doesn't always rain. What about the yard sale you had, uh... What

about the time, uh... Now, by rain, are you including hail?

Oh, Stephanie, good. Listen, keep Saturday open. We're going to need your

at the yard sale.

The yard sale?

Joanna, women with bunions and varicose veins buying each other's clothes?

In a way.

I just drove past one once and started to hyperventilate.

I didn't relax until I reached a mall.

Stephanie, I promise... I promise you, at the first sign of distress, we'll

you to a department store.

Won't George be back from his vacation in time to do it? He's bred for that

of stuff.

George will be back, but I still need you.

Fine, Joanna.

What next?

Tie me up and drag me off to a swap meet?

Come on, Dick. We've got a lot more stuff to get down.

Honey, there could be valuable stuff in here.

Oh, wow.

Shoe trees.

This is my brother, Daryl. And this is my other brother, Daryl.

Hi, fellas.

Miss Joanna, rumor has it that you're conducting a yard sale Saturday.

And we was wondering if we could sell some of our unusables.

Like... Like what?

Well, Daryl has a whole stack of them romance novels.

He's just a slave to them Harlequin people.

admit? Just assorted odds and ends?

Well, I don't see anything wrong with it yet.

Much obliged.

Here's something valuable. A woodcut. It's dated 1780.

It's the Stratford.

Yeah, that's our front porch.

That's our weather lane and that's our carriage house.

You mean where our garage is?

It's the same building. It used to be a carriage house. Huh.

Say. Oh.

Oh, no.

No, I know that look.

That's your renovator bust look.

Honey. No, Dick.

Don't you remember what we went through renovating this inn?

The four months that we spent spattered with paint, haggling over antiques,

breathing toxic fumes, and leaving plaster footprints wherever we went?

Well, actually, I was going to say we could hang it over the fireplace, but...

Gee, I kind of like that renovation idea of yours.

General Loudon, your steed is ready.

Thank you, Ezekiel.

There's a farthing for your trouble.

Tell General Washington not to be concerned. General Loudon is on his way.

Oh, General.

I'm a sucker for a man in an imaginary uniform.

I went to Dutweiler's Antiques and picked out some accessories for the

House. He gave me a big discount.

Dutweiler never gives discounts.

He does when you buy him volume.

George, welcome back.

How was your trip?

The fishing was terrific and fun.

You know my friend Dutch, the practical joker?

Yeah, I'm familiar with his work.

Well, he got us again.

He drilled a hole...

Bottom of the boat.

Laugh? We thought we'd drown.

That Dutch.

Yeah, he's the Einstein of silly.

Well, I better get back to tagging things for the yard sale. Bye, George.

What's this stuff? Oh, George, you're going to be excited.

Well, it'll be hard to top that hole in the boat, but go for it.

George, we're going to take this garage. Now, we're going to put hand -carved

swinging doors over there.

We're going to put back the horse stalls over there, and we're going to replace

this wall with more swinging doors and turn this place back into the 18th

century carriage house that it was meant to be.

Whoa.

I knew you'd love it.

Dick, how can you put a door in here?

My workbench will block the way.

No, it won't, George, because we're going to build a whole new work shed out

back with a whole new workbench.

But, Dick, right now all I have to do is come downstairs and boom, I'm at work.

I don't want to start commuting.

Well, we'll see if we can't organize you a carpool.

Dick, all this renovating sounds like too big a job for us.

Well, I'm way ahead of you, George. I added a third man, Harley Esten.

Harley? Come on, I like him, but he's lost more jobs than he's had.

I know, George.

I fired him once myself.

I guess we all have.

But how much guilt does it take to knock out stuff like this? You're not going

to take out the stucco.

George, it doesn't belong.

You can't rewrite history.

I mean, Paul Revere didn't make his midnight ride on a moped.

And George Washington didn't throw a scenic check across the Potomac.

I mean, stucco just doesn't belong in an authentic 18th century carriage house.

Well, it's your end.

But why stop at 200 years ago?

Why not restore it to what it was even earlier?

A glacier.

Guess what?

I've had enough surprises for one day.

Something bothering him?

Oh, I told George about the plans for the renovation. You know George. He

changes. I never noticed that.

Don't you remember how he stopped eating raisin bran when they added more

raisins? He claimed the extra scoop threw it out of proportion.

But he came around.

No, he didn't. He switched to cornflakes.

Then he's coping.

What did you want to tell me? Oh, things look good for tomorrow's yard sale.

Tomorrow? Sunny and mild. That's great.

Okay, this is the last of it. Boy, did you ever see a storm come up that fast?

Yeah.

This plate is marked 50 cents, but it's cracked. Will you take a quarter?

Well, okay.

Cash or charge?

Thank you.

Enjoy your used, damaged goods.

Hi, Stephanie.

Bite that lovely tongue, Steph. I'm not here to buy this bric -a -brac. Just

take advantage of those who do.

Michael, if this is some test of my affections, I'm afraid you're going to

disappointed.

For a cupcake, think of the shopping spree we can have with a proceed.

There's a good place to set up over there.

Next time you see me, my pockets will be lined with unreported income.

Stephanie, I need you over here.

No.

that has known another body.

Well, that certainly caught your eye.

Clothing abuse always catches my eye.

When a dress like this ends up in a wire hanger, how can we call ourselves

civilized?

What is this?

Quiddling art. It looks like a pointy stick.

Well, it started out to be a chair, but Daryl kind of overworked it.

This mood ring seems to be stuck on grain.

Well, of course.

If you change color, everyone would know what you're feeling.

Do you really want a bunch of strangers snooping around inside your head? I

don't think so.

I'll take it.

Oh, George Harley is here. It's time to get started on a pair of trousers. Oh, I

can't, Dick. Joanna needs me here. I'm very busy.

Can I help you? How much are these coasters?

Joanna, how much are the coasters?

A dollar.

Did you hear that?

like this all day.

Tiffany, why don't you try the dress on? You obviously love it. I do not love

it. I just feel sorry for it.

Hi, Harley. Hi, boss.

Before we start, I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to you for giving

me a job in this challenging field of helping you out.

Harley, why don't you bring the toolbox over here and we'll get started.

Am I fired?

No, no, Harley.

I could have sworn I latched that.

I don't like to brag, but latching is kind of a specialty of mine.

Harley, why don't I show you plans I drew up on what we're trying to

here. We're going to be turning this ordinary garage back into the beautiful

carry house it was 200 years ago.

Okay by me.

All right.

Why don't we start by moving the workbench away from the wall? I'm on it.

Kind of a low one, isn't it?

Yeah. Maybe that's why George is always complaining about backaches. All right.

One, two, three, lift.

I see what he means.

Oh, it's folded down.

Get me the hexagonal wrench in the toolbox. Yeah, I'm on it.

Hexagonal wrench.

What do you mean, nope? I put it in there myself this morning. Am I fired?

No, Harley. All right, we'll use the crescent wrench instead.

Good idea. Crescent wrench, crescent wrench, crescent wrench.

Nope.

You're kidding.

How about a nice pair of pliers?

Okay.

Nope.

That's ridiculous.

No, Harley, you're not fired.

If you say the tools aren't in there, then they aren't in there.

Thanks, boss.

Maybe I'd better have a look.

Well, hi, George.

How's it going?

Well, conversation's good and the hours aren't bad.

George, where's the wrench? Which one, Dick?

Any one.

Should be right in that toolbox.

Oh, we've checked out all the should -be's. What we need now is an is.

Sorry, I couldn't help.

Joanna wanted me to get more tape before she runs out.

All right, let's move on and get to the paneling. We'll be laying it on the saw

horses to cut. Saw horses, huh?

You know, when I was a kid, I used to get on those and pretend they were real

horses.

What an imagination.

Harley, hold it steady. Are you ready?

Let's make sawdust.

Usually when I do this, there are two pieces.

Think it needs a new blade?

A blade would help.

You ever get the feeling there's an outside force working against you?

Now that you mention it.

Hi, how's it coming?

Well, the conversation's good and the hours aren't bad.

I'm going to see if I can hunt up that new saw blade.

Yeah, it's going great. In a few days, we should have this garage looking

exactly like it is.

Dick, a couple of people have asked if you've got any more of these drill bits.

What are you doing with these? They're not for sale.

Why not? They were with the other tools. You're selling my tools?

Like hot cake.

Come on.

Harley, I'll be back.

Okay. And while the cat's away, this mouse is going to work like a banshee.

I'm sorry. If you buy the soap on a rope, you have to buy the steering wheel

cover. I can't break up the set.

Oh.

Well, all right.

Your sales volume seems to have outstripped ours.

What do you think it is, location?

Actually, fellas, it's more a matter of technique.

Watch.

My goodness.

Is that pre -Columbian art for $10?

These three must not know what they have.

I wish my wife was here with the checkbook.

Honey?

I'll take it.

Here's $10.

Sorry. All right, 20.

No, ma 'am.

You've been led down the path of deception.

You're welcome to that, but it ain't no pre -Columbian nothing.

Well, what is it?

It's a gallstone from a bear.

They're real hard to come by.

Look awful nice on your what -not shelf.

Guys, guys, guys, I set it up. You didn't close.

That's not good business.

We just couldn't. What you said was dishonest.

Good business, dishonest.

Tomato, tomato.

My pliers?

My saw blade?

I don't believe this. A complete socket wrench set for 15 cents? Hey, I'll take

those. The hell you will.

Um, I'd like to buy this.

Must be one of the lucky few who can handle this dial. It makes most women

like they're retaining fluid.

It does?

The most insidious thing is the way it robs you of any trace of a bus line.

Uh, maybe I'll mull this over a little bit.

for five cents?

Well, Dick, if you didn't put price tags on these things, who did?

Obviously, someone with no head for business.

I mean, it's almost as though someone were trying to stop me from... Wait.

Utley?

Dick?

George, you have a lot of explaining.

That isn't for sale.

Mr. Loudon, you are displaying things in your lobby. If you sell them, it's a

sale. If you do not sell them, it's a museum. I hate museums.

I don't care.

George, someone is trying to sabotage the renovation.

Now, you have the means, the motive, the opportunity, and the keys to the

garage.

Was it you, George?

Maybe.

George, we talked about this. It's important that the garage be

accurate. Now stop fighting.

Whoa, look at this.

Drill bits, saw blades. This place is a treasure trove.

All the tools we need.

And cheap, too.

Harley, go away.

Am I fired?

No. Oh, then it's a break.

George?

That's for historical accuracy, Dick. No light, no heat.

Welcome to the 18th century.

What's your problem?

What do you care?

Just fix the place up your way, never mind how I feel.

I do care. I really want your blessing on this.

You mean if I don't give you my blessing, you won't go through with it?

No.

I'll do it, but I'll feel bad.

Thanks a lot.

That's exactly what the Raisin Bran people said.

George, you're going to love the new work shed.

I mean, for one thing, it'll have a bench that wasn't built for a munchkin.

My dad didn't build it for a munchkin. He built it for a kid.

Me. Well, that's why it's so low.

Dick, don't you see what this means?

That means you're going to take his side.

Not really.

I just realized this is where George grew up.

This was his... Refuge.

Refuge.

It's full of his... Memories.

Memories.

More than a refuge, this was his... Real neat place.

George, I can handle it from here.

The point is, Dick, that this garage is a piece of George's history.

You want to talk history?

I'm not doing this just for me. I'm doing this for America.

I mean, one man preserving one piece of our great American heritage.

Besides, I really want a carriage house.

Well, it's your end.

Great, then it's settled.

Maybe before you rip all this down, you could take a picture of the notches in

this post for me.

I'd like to remember how tall I was when I was six.

He was six.

Look. Look at these archways. I mean, men in breeches and white wigs used to

stand under these and say things like yee and

forsooth and

breeches.

And when I was just three... George, let me see if I can explain this. The

closest I'm going to come to reliving history is...

is by preserving a building, like this could be.

George, I love history.

History is the great joy of my life.

One of the great joys of my life.

One of the top three joys.

I know what you mean, Dick.

This is where I visit my history.

Sometimes I walk in and I can see my dad hammering.

Some nails dangling out of his mouth.

He looks at me and winks.

He says something.

I can't understand him. He's got those nails hanging out of his mouth.

Well, what the heck.

Everything changes.

And it is your end.

Well, I'm...

I may own the inn, but I guess it belongs to the people who have memories

You're not going to change it?

Not a stick.

Dick, I'm sorry you never met my dad.

He would have liked you.

All set, boss.

I just wanted to...

Take this opportunity to thank you for the face you've shown in not firing me.

Okay, let's start renovating.

Harley?

Meow.