Original subtitles

What a storm, huh?

What tipped you off?

The way the rain is coming down or the fact that all your guests are holed up

inside this quaint little pillbox?

Well, I know it must be a disappointment that the rain spoiled your vacation,

but we do have things here to pass the time like puzzles, games, books. Great.

Vacation here is sort of like being sick in bed.

Mr. Armentrout's a very nasty man.

Well, honey, his vacation's been ruined, and I'm sure underneath it all he's a

complete jerk.

Hi, everybody.

Boy, is it neat out there.

This rushing water, mud, gusting wind just kind of makes you glad to be alive.

Yeah, that's just what Mr. Armentrout was telling us.

Did you get the supplies, George?

Oh, I couldn't. The mud washed out the road. You should see it. Well, you can't

see it because it's washed out. All you see is mud.

That's what you should see.

But we're out of necessities. We don't have milk, eggs, bread, magenta red nail

polish.

Gee, I'm kind of messy. I better take these things off on the mud porch.

Thank God for the mud porch.

Michael, looks like you're stranded here tonight.

I don't want to be any trouble.

Michael, this is an end people have stayed over before.

Stephanie, why don't you make up room six for Michael? Okay.

I'll get you an extra blanket and a picture of me for your bedside table.

Heaven times two.

Dick,

you've got to get me out of here.

Why? Stephanie's never seen me in the same clothes two days running.

I've never seen me in the same clothes two days running.

Well, I can lend you something of mine. Sure, take a bad dream and turn it into

a nightmare.

Hi, I'm Larry.

This is my brother Daryl, and this is my other brother Daryl.

Excuse our appearance, but they've just been out making angels in the mud.

Well, what can we do for you? No, it's what we can do for you.

Okay, what can you do for us?

We thought the neighborly thing would be to lend assistance in this hour of

slime.

If you've got any extra food at the cafe, we don't have anything for

Well, what do you need?

Well, eggs.

What kind?

Chicken.

I think we can scrape up some of them.

And we could use butter and bread and milk. Cow's milk.

Miss Stephanie?

Hi, Larry. As long as you're going shopping, could you pick me up some

red nail polish, extra glossy?

They're not going shopping. They're giving us some food.

Oh, well, food.

I think that's it.

Well, I guess we should be going.

Daryl hates the way his precious Pam endures on a night like this.

Stephanie, is Michael's room ready? And waiting.

I turned on your bed, I tuned the TV to channel A, and I set your electric

blanket to six and a squidge.

What else could a man ask for?

Except a blow dryer, toothbrush, and a change of clothes.

Cologne, shoe trees, water picks, styling mousse.

Where's Stephanie?

She's in the kitchen getting breakfast.

Here, let me have your comb. It's an emergency.

I don't have one on me.

What are you doing?

You look okay.

And that's disgusting.

Stephanie!

Michael! How's my girl?

Your... Your hair, your...

Close the stuff in the corner of your eye.

I guess the fan man was here.

You mean the black man.

Stephanie, you've got to believe me. I usually look so much better in the

morning.

I just didn't have any of the proper equipment.

Next time we'll put out styling forks.

Okay, who had... Who touched?

Good morning, Miss Stephanie.

You look particularly lovely with eggs in your hands.

Oh, thank you. I took the opportunity to go in town and get that nail paint you

asked me for. Oh, Larry, you saved my life.

But how did you get into town? I thought the roads were washed away.

Oh, that just added a little sport to it.

Magenta red, right?

I also thought the flaming coral was kind of nice.

You might want to try that shade sometime.

You don't think it would be too flashy?

No, ma 'am. Not on a blonde.

Larry, why don't you boys sit down and Stephanie will make you some of those

eggs you brought.

Thank you.

Daryl and I will have the chicken egg.

Daryl here prefers the other.

The, uh, the other.

Larry, what kind of eggs are these?

Scrambled.

Scrambled chicken or scrambled other?

Once they're scrambled, it's anybody's guess.

Well, I hate to eat God knows what and run, but I have a book to write.

I'll check your spelling.

Great. Eggs from my chick.

I don't know why, Michael, but things like that sound funnier from a groomed

person.

Hey, miss, I was here first. Why are you serving him before me?

He was closer to the kitchen.

Then I'm taller. What difference does that make? I have yours right here.

take them back while you're over there yakking. They got cold.

Excuse me.

I must speak.

Didn't your mom ever tell you you could catch more flies with honey than with

vinegar? No. Want to make something of it?

Butt out.

Get me another breakfast, Bubblehead.

Well, I think I've heard just about enough.

Hi.

I'm Larry.

This is my brother, Daryl.

This is my other brother, Daryl. So?

We just thought you might like to know the names of your assailants.

Because if you don't stop abusing Miss Stephanie, we're going to be on you like

scum on a pond.

Now eat your breakfast.

And smile.

Thanks for standing up for me. Don't forget, I set him up with the flies and

vinegar lard.

All I know is sometimes I wish certain parties could be more like you, Larry.

Hi.

I'm Larry.

Hi. Hi, Larry.

Where's, uh... Where's your brother Daryl and...

And your other brother, Daryl.

They went to see Old Yeller.

I love that movie.

There's a movie?

Well, what can I do for you?

Actually, I came over here for some girl talk.

With me?

I'm pleased to announce I've gotten myself a wife.

Somebody to cook my meals, to bear my children, fill up my senses, milk my

Well, who's the lucky woman?

Miss Stephanie.

Stephanie Vanderkellen?

Yes, sir.

Your wife?

That's the one.

I don't understand. She was...

She was single at breakfast.

Oh. Well, I hadn't exactly popped the question yet.

But I got her picked out, and that's half the hog.

She already has a boyfriend.

That floppy fella at breakfast?

All the signs point to her preferring me.

Well, sometimes we misread the signs.

I know for a fact that she's very much involved with Michael.

Oh.

How are we going to make her see the light?

Well, first of all, we aren't.

And second of all, there is no light.

Well, let's don't give up yet.

Can you give me some advice on how to win her heart?

No.

Well, how'd you win the vital organ of the lovely Miss Joanna?

I don't know. I took her out, bought her flowers and candy,

bathed.

Flowers and candy, huh?

Larry, I don't think that's going to do it for you. I really can't emphasize

strongly enough that...

Miss Stephanie has absolutely no... I don't care if it's going to be rough

hoeing. My family's persistent in the pursuit of love.

My daddy courted my mama for five months before she said those words he is

longing to hear.

Okay, untie me and I'll marry you.

I really can't emphasize strongly enough.

I'm just sorry you had to be exposed to all this.

That's all right, silly.

I love you for who you are, not how you usually look.

Well...

Ciao.

Drive safely.

Stay so close.

Boy, relationships.

Work, work, work.

I don't believe this.

place. Lousy room, lousy food, lousy service, lousy weather.

Thanks a lot. This is the worst weekend I've ever spent in my life.

That'll be $70.

Listen, lady, if you think I'm going to pay full price for a weekend at Motel

Hell, you're crazy.

Mr. Armentrout, you've done nothing but insult me, my husband, our employees,

our guests, and our inn.

If you don't stop complaining and pay your bill...

I'm going to jump down your throat and pull your wallet out from the inside.

Is that so?

Yes.

Well, why don't I save you the trouble?

I'll get you your tea.

Keep it. Deposit for next year.

Good afternoon, Miss Stephanie.

Oh, Larry, I know you have to run.

Oh, Larry.

I wanted to thank you again for the nail polish.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

As you can see, it was worth it. Sure was.

The next time you're in town, could you pick me up some blusher?

Stephanie. Miss Stephanie, I'd eat bees for you.

Well, Larry, we don't want to tie you... hold you up.

Dick, why did you rush him out like that? Honey, I just wanted to keep this

thing from mushrooming. What thing?

Stephanie, Larry, Larry likes you. I know.

No, I mean he, he really likes you. Most men do, Dick.

Are you blind? Don't you know what all that bee -eating stuff was about?

The man is in love with you.

You mean it's serious?

Yeah.

Involving hormones and everything?

And possibly ropes.

The inevitable dinner invitation.

Come for viddle tonight.

Larry.

Here we go again.

Time to break another heart.

Shatter a man's dreams.

Leave him a tiny pool of what he once was.

What to wear, what to wear.

This heart isn't going to be that easy to break.

It never is.

Some men pout.

Some men cry.

Some men stare coldly into space.

These men tie people up and carry them off.

That's a new wrinkle.

You certainly can't go over there alone.

I won't.

Dick will come with me.

I will.

Just to wait outside in case I need you.

Okay, how will I know if you need me?

We'll have a signal.

Let me think.

How's this?

Good evening.

I'm Larry.

Hi, Larry.

I want to talk to you.

My ears can't wait.

Daryl will take your coat.

Hands.

Okay.

Would you care to take a lovely load off?

Okay.

Larry.

Was that the signal?

It sounds... Sounds kind of like music.

I didn't know Daryl played a comb.

I didn't know Daryl owned a comb.

Daryl!

Is this why I spent money on music lessons?

I spoke my mind.

Miss Stephanie, would you consider spending the rest of your days with such

humble pup as myself?

Oh, what a sweet way to put it.

But no way, Jose.

The fact is, I have a boyfriend.

But you told me you like me better.

When? I'll always remember those words you said.

It's like they're tattooed on my heart.

All I know is, sometimes I wish certain parties were more like you, Larry.

Larry, you may have made more of that than was intended.

What do you mean? It's not that I don't like you, too, but I love Michael.

Well, what if something happened to him?

Like if he got hit by lightning or fell in a river or...

Somebody accidentally left a wolverine in his bathroom.

Then might I have reason to hope?

I wouldn't think so.

I see.

Then I guess there's just one more thing to do.

Daryl, get the sack.

I know he won't.

What's going on here? They're going to put me in a bag. Well, we won't let

No.

You were going to.

You sent Daryl for the sack.

You mean that sack?

You may be petite, but you ain't gonna fit in neither.

Oh, Larry.

My blusher.

There seems to be something as yet unexplained.

Why were you two outside skulking around?

Well, you know, you told the story of when your mother and father were dating.

And they tied the knot after they untied the knot.

And we thought maybe, you know, it was a family tradition.

It wasn't tradition. That was just weird.

Didn't I make that clear?

Well, it was clear it was weird.

But it wasn't clear if you thought it was weird.

I'm sorry.

Miss Stetton, I'm crunched.

Did you think I was going to do the same thing to you?

Well, Larry, I didn't know what to expect.

You're not like any other man I've ever met or heard about.

I hope you can forgive me.

Miss Stephanie, I'd rather gargle dirt than stay mad at you.

Oh, good.

Well, we'll be right outside.

Across the way.

In the end.

Probably upstairs.

Gee, Dick, I've got some work to do in the garage. Maybe I could come up later.

Good.

Bethany, I guess now you have a little better understanding of the workings of

my mind.

Yeah, I guess I do.

Well, will you marry me?

Larry, Michael is my first choice.

A lot of other people are my second choice, and I mean a lot.

So in a way, you're kind of third.

Well, that's the nicest thump in my heart.

It's overhead.

I'll never wash this face again.

Aw, gee.

Well, does that Biddle's invitation still stand?

Oh,

this smells absolutely...

Meow.