All language subtitles for newhart_s02e08_the_man_who_came_forever

Did you call Dick? Yeah, he'll be here
in a minute. And I'll get the dinner.

Boy, am I hungry.

Me too. You know, I never used to eat
much, but ever since I've been here,

been ravenous. Well, it's probably all
the work you've been doing.

I guess that's true. I have been busy.

Boy, that looks good. I hope so.

I never realized how much there was to
do around a place like this until I had

to do it. It can wear you out.

Oh, boy. Mashed potatoes.

I'll get the rolls and gravy.

Thanks. I'm just exhausted all the time.
I know what you mean. It never ends.

Now, have I forgotten anything?

The butter. Right.

I don't mind saying I could use a day
off. Who couldn't? But in this business,

it's seven days a week, 24 hours a day.

Oh, there.

That should be everything. Look at this.
Hot roast, vegetables, rolls, homemade

gravy.

Joanna. Do you think someday when I meet
the right guy and get married that you

could teach me to teach whoever I hire
how to cook just like you?

Sure.

There you are. How's the book coming?
Oh, not fast enough.

This is the last time I do a book on
such short notice. I mean, it's

to write everything you ever wanted to
know about camping in a week.

Just can't be done.

Well, I'm sure you'll finish on time.

No, it won't, honey. I just told you it
can't be done.

Where are you going?

Back to work. Dick, I hate to think of
you wolfing down dinner at your desk.

Well, wolfing is all I'm going to have
time for tonight.

Excuse me. I'm sorry. I don't mean to
interrupt.

Can we help you with something? Who do I
see about a room? Me. I guess I'm going

that way anyway.

I'm not taking you away from your
dinner, am I? No, you're taking away

work. My dinner is right here.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to seem
grumpy. I guess I'm very busy. I'm not

completely sure I need a room.

I mean, I need a room, but I'm not sure
I need it for the whole night.

Oh, I don't mean that the way it sounds.

See, I had a little spat with my wife,
and I figured I'd better get out and let

things cool off.

So that would be a single room?

Uh, yeah.

First time in 19 years.

But it's no big deal. I mean, she's
probably calling all over town for me.

She hasn't called here yet. Has she,
Holstead? Marjorie Holstead? No, no, she

hasn't. Whether she calls me or I call
her, it's no big deal.

Well, there you go, Mr. Halstead. Top of
the stairs, third door on the right.

Oh, great. Now, look, I'm going to pay
you now in case she calls and I end up

leaving early. How much was it?

Thirty -five. Oh, good. Oh, look there.
That's my wife right there.

She's a handsome woman. Yeah.

You should see her in color.

Oh, I'm sorry. Now, look.

Look, I've got twenty. How much was
that? Twenty. Oh, good.

That dinner looks great, by the way.

I didn't even get any dinner.

Hi, Dick. Oh,

you want to talk in your study?

I want to work in my study. Listen,
before you start, what would you say to

and me building a miniature golf course?

I would say I'm very busy and good
night.

Dick, pull your head out of the sand and
listen to the world around you. People

love miniature golf.

I have a book that's due in four days. I
don't care.

Miniature Golf is a goldmine. I mean,
just think how it would sound. The

Stratford Inn, nestled in a grove of
maple.

Stratford Inn, nestled in a grove of
maple. Just a stone's throw from

College. Featuring colonial decor and 18
holes of championship miniature golf.

No, Kirk.

Before you say no. I just said no. Let
me get some brochures. No. I'll bring

them over tomorrow.

No. I'll be by at 8 in the morning. No.
I'll see you at 8.

Hi. No breakfast?

No time. You can't write on an empty
stomach.

Yes, I can. Honey, I'll have a big
lunch. I've got to get started. And I

it. No calls, no interruptions. I don't
care if the inn is burning down. Just

throw a wet blanket over me and let me
keep working, all right? Morning.

Any word from my wife yet? Morning, Mr.
Halstead. No, I'm sorry. Oh.

Dick told me what happened. I'm sorry,
too.

You'll have to excuse me. I have a book
to write.

You're a writer?

Yeah. Boy, I always wanted to be a
writer.

And a pilot. I really wanted to be a
pilot.

All right, I really have to get to work.

What's the book about?

Camping. Oh, I always wanted to be a
camper.

Well, I guess I'll be leaving. I hope
things work out with you and your wife.

Oh, I'm sure they will. We have our
little tips like everybody every once in

while. You wouldn't know where I can get
some flowers this early in the morning.

Gee, I don't know. I doubt if the
florist is open yet.

Hi. Where's Dick?

I thought I'd stop by the house before
she left for work.

Who? His wife.

Sure would help if I had some flowers on
me when I do.

Take these.

Those would be fine. Oh, that's awfully
nice.

You wouldn't have a card to go with
these.

What do you need a card for? She'll know
they're flowers.

Is Dick still sleeping? No, Kirk. Well,
thanks anyway. Gosh, this is a nice

place. Maybe I'll come back sometime.

With your wife.

Right. Goodbye.

And good luck.

Thanks. Oh, and I'll return the vase.

Keep it.

Is he in his study? You can't go in.

I'll tell him he tried to stop me.

You're not going to believe how cheaply
we can get into miniature golf. Joanne.

I tried to stop him. No, she didn't.

Kirk, get out. It's okay. I can take
her.

Kirk, get out.

Guess how absurdly little it will cost
to build a course. No.

Guess or I'm never leaving.

$5 ,000.

Get real, Dick. $15 ,000. But we'll make
that back the first day. Get out. Just

take a look at some of these themes we
can choose from.

There's galactic golf.

There's daffy golf.

There's gorilla golf.

Kirk, it's a dumb plan. We have snow on
the ground six months out of the year.

Polar golf.

And the other two months, we have mud.

I mean, I don't have time to run it. You
don't have time to run it. It's a

stupid plan.

Are you saying you're not interested?
That's right.

I'm not giving up.

I'll build the course without you. Fine.

And I'm putting it on your property.

You do, and I'll sue you. Fine. You can
serve me the papers on the windmill

hole.

How did the meeting go? Your husband is
living in the Stone Age.

Well, if you don't need me, I'm off to
do some shopping.

Before you go, did you wash those
bedspreads?

Uh, why don't I just buy some while I'm
out?

Do you realize how long it's been since
I've gone shopping? Not until you finish

your work. You don't understand. I'm not
someone who goes shopping to get out of

work. And I don't go shopping because
I'm bored.

I go shopping because I need to shop.

It's not that I don't want you to go
shopping. It's just that I want you to

understand priorities.

Do you want to come with me?

That's not going to work, Stephanie.

No, I mean it. I want you to come.

Really? Yeah.

Well, even if I come, you know, you'd
still have to do your work first. I

How quick do you think you can finish?

Twenty minutes. What if I help you? Half
that. Let's go.

George, could we talk about this later?
We can't talk about it too much later.

I'm not going to have a future if I
don't start planning for it. I saw

on TV last night. You know, say what you
want about TV, but it can be pretty

darn informative.

I guess.

I just worried about ending up all
alone.

Well, you won't be alone, George. You
have Joanna and I. I know, but let's

it, Dick. Any Sunday afternoon, you and
Joanna could go out for a drive. A truck

comes around the corner and, man, I'm
alone.

Well, George, if you're really that
worried about it, why don't you go down

the bank and talk to someone down there
about it? I mean, that's their business,

you know, planning for the future.
That's a good idea, Dick.

What would I do without you?

I guess you're going to find out at the
bank.

Oh, are you still out here? I thought
you'd be working.

I'm trying, but every time I turn
around, somebody interrupts me.

I mean, if I could just get 24 hours
with no distractions, I'd be home free.

Hi. Oh, no.

Mr. Halstead, don't tell me you're back.

Funny, that's just what Marjorie said.

What happened?

Honey, it's none of our business.

My whole life just fell apart.

I don't suppose this is anything we can
talk about after I finish my book?

Dick!

I'm sorry. I shouldn't be coming over
here.

dumping all my problems on you guys.
Don't be silly.

It's not silly.

Boy, I didn't realize Marjorie was this
angry. Do you know what she called me?

An aimless, indecisive wimp.

Maybe you're just taking it wrong.

Ed, do you know why she called you that?

Because I've never been able to decide
what I want to do in my life.

Now, Marjorie is a career -oriented
person. She's a high school principal.

Lots of responsibilities.

Very imposing woman.

Well, you've seen her picture.

Boy.

But me, I'm not like that. No.

I just kind of go along, you know,
dreaming and selling suits.

Ed, there's nothing wrong with being a
suit salesman. There is if what you

really want to be is something else.

Well, what is it you really want to be?

Anything but a divorced suit salesman.

all she needs is a little cooling off
period.

Yeah. Well, it's not like I've been a
bad husband, you know. I mean, I don't

drink, I don't gamble, I don't smoke,
I'm reliable.

Boy, when she walks in that door at
night, her dinner is on the table.

I mean, where does she get off being the
injured party?

I'm the one who got yelled at. I'm the
one who's going to need a little time

cooling off.

Well, maybe so.

Yeah. Maybe it's good this happened. Oh,
yes, sirree.

Maybe I'm even glad it happened. I mean,
it's about time I realized that

Marjorie and I have just grown apart.

I'm going to my room.

And if she calls, well, you can tell her
for me.

But is this really important? I'm very
busy.

Okay.

Honey? Joanna, is this a conspiracy?
Nobody wants me to finish this book?

Dick, that's not fair.

We have tried to leave you alone.

But now George is back home from the
bank where you sent him.

And he just wants to talk to you for
five minutes.

And you told him I wouldn't. For five
minutes.

I'll leave you two alone.

Thanks, honey.

Joanne told me you didn't really mean it
when you said you were busy.

Well, how'd things go at the bank?

Well, pretty good. They took my life
savings and put them in a new account

earns a higher interest.

That sounds good. You know, Dick, the
man at the bank said that over the

of a lifetime, the average person earns
over $400 ,000.

I think I've heard that. And he said
that the average person ought to save

10 % of that.

That's $40 ,000.

And how much have you saved? $600.

He said at the rate I'm going, I
probably shouldn't think about

lifetime.

George, maybe you should think about
saving a little more.

That's what the man at the bank said.

I guess I could cut back on a few
things. I know I spend a fortune on

George, anything you spend on the inn,
I'd reimburse you for it. Really?

I've been buying things for the inn ever
since you came here.

You don't suppose you owe me $40 ,000?

No, no, George. I'll tell you what. Why
don't you figure out what you can put

aside every week, and whatever that is,
I'll match it. You'd do that?

Well, I was going to give you a raise,
George. We'll just call it your raise.

Oh, that sounds like a great idea. Gee,
thanks, Dick.

It sure takes a load off my mind.

I'm glad. Now every time you and Joanna
go out for a drive on Sundays, I can

breathe easy.

Ted, I know you're up to your ears in
work. Who isn't?

But I thought you'd like to know that
there are men outside with a bulldozer

a windmill.

I'm going to kill Kirk.

Ted, did you know that there are men out
there? I heard.

out and tell them we don't want a
miniature golf course.

A miniature golf course?

George. Okay.

Kirk, don't turn away. I know you can
hear me.

You get in here this instant or I'll
hire that bulldozer to mow down your

Is he coming?

Of course he's coming. That was a great
threat.

What is it? What in the world do you
think you're doing?

Why are you getting so upset? I told you
I was going to do this. Are you crazy?

Look, just calm down, Dick. Give me $14
,000 and we'll both be rich. Get those

men out of here or I'll call the police.

Look, I can't have these people leave
now or I'll lose my $500 deposit.

Get them out of here. You're the most
unbending man in the world. No. Kirk,

okay, fine.

But from this moment on, our friendship
is over.

Boy, he's really nuts, isn't he? Yeah.

Just as a matter of curiosity, what is a
miniature golf course?

Well, a miniature golf course is a golf
course that's very small,

and you put these colored golf balls
through a windmill and a

dinosaur and a loop -de -loop.

Why?

No one knows.

Hi. Hiya.

I thought you checked out.

I checked back in.

Oh. Uh, in that case, why don't you
loiter in the lobby for a few minutes,

I'll run up and throw your room
together.

Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

Rough day?

Boy.

I, uh, I don't want to seem insensitive,
but I have a book to write.

Is that that same book, Dick?

As this morning?

Yeah.

You know, you are a lucky guy.

Yeah, I know that. Well, I gotta get
started. You've got this beautiful inn,

real career, a wife who likes you, a
reason to live.

Did something else happen today, Ed?

Well, I told my boss that Marjorie had
thrown me out. He said if I let it

my work, he'd fire me.

And I tried calling Marjorie at the
school, but she wouldn't take my calls.

I even went down to the school
cafeteria.

You know, I thought I'd catch her at
lunch.

She must have eaten in her office.

Sat through both meal periods.

Oh, by the way, we're not having fish
sticks for dinner, are we?

No. Oh, that's one good thing.

I'm sorry about all this, Ed. Well, I'm
sure eventually things will work out.

We'll just have to have me mope around
here a little while longer.

Well, you know you can stay here as long
as you want. Oh, thanks.

No, no, we can't.

What? Well, I don't think this is the
best place for him. Look, there's

I hate more than butting into other
people's personal problems.

I welcome it.

You say your marriage is in trouble
because your wife thinks you're a wimp.

Yeah. Well, you want to know something?

You are a wimp. Oh.

Yeah.

No, no, he's right. Go on, Dick. Lay it
on. I need this.

You want your wife back, right? More
than being a stuntman.

Well, then tell her that.

She won't talk to me.

Then go see her. Go over to your house
and say, Marjorie, we're never going to

solve our problems with you here and me
over at the Stratford.

I mean, my marriage means a lot to me,
and you're not going to ruin it.

Oh, I could never say that to Marjorie.
Why not?

Well, I can't talk and dodge dishes at
the same time.

Well, then don't try to talk. Take a
dish and throw it back at her. Jake!

I'm trying to tell him to stand up to
her.

Wish I could.

You can.

You really think so? Yes.

You'll go with me? No.

Why not?

Because she wants him to be strong.
Being strong is not bringing two friends

along with you. We could wait in the
car.

I have a book to write. I promise I
won't keep you... Look, with you there,

know I won't chicken out.

What do you say, honey?

Please, Dick.

All right, this is stupid, but if it'll
help, fine. Let's go and get it over

with. Okay, we can't. She's not home.

When will she be? Oh, I don't know. With
Marjorie's schedule, you can never

tell. I mean, it could be any time from
7 to 7 .10. Okay, that's it. We go over

to your house 7 or 7 .10. Now, I have
got to get some work done on my book.

Don't take him wrong, Ed. He's a
wonderful guy. He'd do anything for

It's just that he has this thing about
his work.

Oh, I know what you mean.

I go through the same thing with
Marjorie.

This is good. This feels right. This is
the thing to do.

Would you quit bouncing up and down in
the back seat?

I'm sorry.

Neighborhood looks really good.

This is it.

Oh, that's a pretty house, Ted. Yeah.

You see those two trees in the front
yard?

And all... those hedges by the front
porch?

Yeah.

They were all there when we moved in.

That's great.

Well, this is it.

Just remember, be strong. Right.

You put 20 years into this marriage and
you're not going to give up on it now.

Right. Show her you're a man.

Man. Got it.

Look, I don't know what I would have
done without you two guys in the last

couple of days.

If I don't see you again, I just want
you to know I think you're terrific

people. Oh, thank you.

Dick, if you ever finish that book of
yours, I'm going to buy it.

Well, Ed, that may be just the incentive
I've been looking for.

Honey, I know you didn't want to do
this, but I'm awfully glad you did.

Well, if the great Ed was going, there
was no telling how long he'd be with us.

If it helps him and saves the marriage,
I guess it was worth it.

What are you doing back here? Oh, this
isn't a good time.

What do you mean it isn't a good time?
What would be a good time?

When she's alone.

Boy, she didn't waste any time, did she?

I guess not.

Well, two can play at this game.

I know who that guy is in there.

And I know how to get even.

What are you going to do?

Nothing yet.

But wait till he needs a suit.

Yeah, I wanted to be at the post office
when it opened.

You finished your book?

At four this morning. Oh, Dick.

Well, if it's any consolation, I'm proud
of you. You had an almost impossible

task, and you did it.

Well, I think I'll appreciate it more
when I get some sleep.

Freeze, Dick.

Tell her I'm going to bed.

Dick, listen.

I acted like a fool over this Richard
Goff thing.

Our friendship means too much to me.

I'm willing to let bygones be bygones if
you give me $250 for your half of the

deposit.

No. Then our friendship is over.

Wake you up around noon?

Fine.