All language subtitles for newhart_s02e06_dont_rain_on_my_parade

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Jim and Chester.

Jim and Chester who?

Hi, Dick.

Oh, hi.

Hi, guys. I'm sorry. I thought you were
a knock -knock joke.

Oh? Which one did you think we were?

Never mind. Never mind who?

Forget the joke.

Well, what can I do for you?

Well, as you probably know, Thanksgiving
is almost upon us.

I think I heard something about that.

Every year, this town has a Thanksgiving
Day parade.

About 30 of us put it together.

We get the Chamber of Commerce to be in
it, the Boy Scouts. Some of the

townspeople dress up like pilgrims. We
even have a float featuring Plymouth

Rock. Although it's not the real
Plymouth Rock.

I didn't think so.

Oh, but don't say anything, because not
everybody knows that.

Anyway, you can probably guess what
we're leading up to.

You want me to be Honorary Grand Marshal
or something?

No, we asked Bob Hope to do that.

If he can't do it, it's going to be
Lester Hodges. He's the only one in town

with a convertible. We wanted you to be
parade director.

Isn't this kind of late? I mean,
Thanksgiving, you know, is next week.

Well, the parade runs itself, really. We
just need someone to be in charge. We

thought since you didn't have a regular
job that you'd have time to do it.

Well, surprising as this may sound, I'm
busy working on a book right now.

You are?

Gee, Dick, we were counting on you.

I'm sorry.

I could do it. Who did it last year?

Roger Bishop, but he wants to be a
pilgrim this year.

I could do it.

What did you say, George?

Oh, I was just saying, I could do it.

Well, now there's somebody we never
would have thought of.

George is a great choice. I mean, he's
lived here all his life, he knows the

town, and I'll make sure he has the
time.

What do you think, Chester?

Well, the parade director doesn't really
have to do anything.

That's true. He just has to be able to
wave.

I'm sure George could do that.

Well, George,

you're our new parade director.

Me?

Congratulations. We know you won't take
the job lightly.

Did you ever see a real Thanksgiving Day
parade, Dick?

When we lived in New York, I saw the
Macy's parade.

Oh, you're in for a treat.

The whole town looks forward to it every
year.

The only drawback is that the people who
work on the parade miss out on

Thanksgiving dinner.

We do?

Well, after all that hard work, there
just isn't time to put into a big fancy

meal. Well, maybe I'll just have dinner
with Bob Hope.

George, I don't think Bob Hope is
coming.

Why don't you all get together? You
know, have a group meal, like one of

potlucks. Well, we would, but they use
the fellowship hall to feed the poor.

And we can't think of another place big
enough to hold all of us.

Well, the Stratford's big enough. Why
don't you meet here?

Do you mean that, Dick? Sure, we'll make
our own potluck. You all bring a dish

and we'll cook the turkey.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, that's great.

Thanks a lot, Dick. Boy, this is a good
trip. We got a parade director and a

Thanksgiving dinner all in ten minutes.

Let's go tell Joanna the news.

Joanna, you'll never believe it. Jim and
Chester came by looking for someone to

direct a Thanksgiving Day parade, and
guess who they picked?

Dick, I... Oh, honey, that's wonderful.

Congratulations.

Oh, thanks. Actually, they picked
George. Oh, George, that's wonderful.

Congratulations.

Oh, thanks.

I'm going to go tell Kirk. Boy, is he
going to be surprised.

This is going to be a proud day for the
Stratford. I get to direct a parade, and

then everyone gets to come over here for
Thanksgiving dinner.

Oh, by the way, I invited some people
over for Thanksgiving.

Yeah, that's what I heard.

Who did you invite?

Just the people on the parade committee.

How many people is that?

Um, 30.

You invited 30 people to Thanksgiving
dinner without even asking me?

Honey, don't be silly. You're invited,
too.

It wasn't intentional. It's just that
Jim and Chester were talking about how

nobody on the parade committee ever gets
a chance to have Thanksgiving dinner.

And I thought it was a nice thing to do.

And besides, everybody's bringing
something, so...

All we have to worry about is the
turkey.

Do you know how many turkeys it takes to
feed 30 people?

Actually, it's 30 couples.

60 people?

Unless they bring their kids.

Come on, Dick. How many people are we
talking about?

Honey, you're right. You know, thinking
about this some more, it wasn't such a

great idea. I'm going to call it off.
Wait a minute. You can't uninvite

Why not? Because it's rude and
thoughtless.

And it'll sound like it was my idea.

visit here. They're coming all the way
from Ohio expecting a nice little family

dinner. Honey, I didn't mean to ruin
Thanksgiving.

Congratulations, Dick. You have ruined
Thanksgiving.

How did I ruin your Thanksgiving? By
inviting the whole town over for dinner.

Every Thanksgiving, everyone who didn't
want to cook would come to the

Minuteman. Look, I'm sorry I messed up
everybody's holiday, but inviting those

people seemed like a decent gesture.

I mean, Thanksgiving is a time for
giving. And this year...

We're giving.

Well, thanks.

Hi. Hi. Is your mommy there? Could I
talk to her, please?

Stephanie, would you take the stuffing
out of this turkey while I put another

one in the oven? Sure.

How do I do that?

Here.

What about Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow?

Yes, we're looking forward to it, too.

I'm just trying to coordinate what
everyone is bringing.

Well, what we need are potatoes.

No, not tater tots.

We were thinking mash.

You're right, the holidays are a pain.

But can we count on you?

Great, we'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Help, maybe you could wash those
turkeys.

Hi, everybody.

Oh, it sure smells good in here.

Really? The smell of turkey seems to
have lost its thrill for me.

I wanted to show you my plans for the
parade route.

Oh, fine. I've given this a lot of
thought over the past week, and this is

I find. come up with. Follow my finger.
The parade starts here at the top of

Main Street, goes along here, along
here, along here, along here, and here's

where it ends.

The end of Main Street.

Yeah.

Boy, I can hear those bands playing
already, George.

I'd better make copies. I don't want
anybody getting...

I guess I misunderstood.

I'm not feeling very well. What's the
matter?

I don't know.

My head hurts. I feel woozy. And looking
at all these dead turkeys makes me want

a Ralph.

All right. If you're really not feeling
well, maybe you better go upstairs.

Good.

Joanna, how long has this turkey been in
here? A couple of hours. Why?

I don't think it's cooking. You're
kidding.

Oh, no. I hope it's not the oven.

I don't know what... be wrong with it.
Maybe it's sick of turkey.

Turkey man!

I don't know how many more are there.

These are the last two.

Everybody's looking forward to tomorrow.
My wife said anyone who'd cook

Thanksgiving dinner for 94 people must
be a saint.

No, she said they must be insane.

Honey, do you remember anything about a
group of 12 from Arizona?

Oh,

I completely forgot.

No, no. We didn't forget. We're looking
forward to it.

As luck would have it, we are serving
Thanksgiving dinner.

Guys, we're going to need more turkey.

Say no more.

Turkey men to the rescue.

Goodbye. See you tomorrow.

I don't believe this. We're going to
have over a hundred people here for

Thanksgiving dinner.

Hi.

Remember those nights in Manhattan when
we used to sit in our little apartment

and...

Think about how great it would be to
someday own a place like this and how

it would be if it was always filled with
friends and family.

Yeah.

Well, we were wrong.

It's just a little over normal.

How much over?

A hundred and two.

Temperature's 102.

Oh, that's a little better.

I still think you should really be in
bed.

Oh, I hate being in bed with the flu. It
makes me feel sick.

I'd rather be here around people.

Tiffany, you can't just lie here in the
middle of all the guests.

Oh, you're right. I wouldn't want them
to see me like this.

I'll be in the kitchen if you need me
for anything.

I really do hate to leave you with all
this work. Don't worry about it. Okay.

If you get a chance, could you bring me
up something to make me feel better?

Sure, what do you need?

Harper's Bazaar.

Maybe I'll bring you something for your
flu, too.

Whatever.

Surprise!

Mom!

Dad!

Yep, it's the old folks.

Oh, are you?

I didn't know it was raining.

Oh, I guess when you live in a big
mansion like this, you don't hear the

huh? Dad.

mansion. It's just an inn.

Here, let me take your coat. Thank you.

How was your trip? Oh, fine. How come
you're not dressed?

Oh, she doesn't have to be dressed.
They're living the life of Riley now

they're retired.

Dad, we are not retired.

Now, you know your father. He's just
teasing you.

Nervous. Don't tease.

I'm sorry I look like this, but things
have been a little hectic around here.

Our caretaker's gone, one of the ovens
is broken, and now my maid's sick.

Oh. The problems of the rich.

Oh, darling, your place is even more
beautiful than in the pictures.

You think so? I really do.

I can't tell you how much we've looked
forward to this little get -together.

Well, that's something else I have to
explain.

I really hate to tell you this because
I'm afraid you won't understand.

Nonsense. We're your parents.

We're having some extra people over for
Thanksgiving dinner.

I'm sorry.

Well, there's nothing we can do about
it.

I'm sure it could be helped.

Well, Irvis, why don't you take our
suitcases up to the room?

We do have a room, don't we?

Of course you do. Don't be silly. You're
my parents.

You have our most special room.

Room six.

Well, six is a nice number.

I know this isn't turning out the way we
planned.

It's okay. We'll make the best of it.

Do you...

Need some help in the kitchen? Oh, yes,
I do, Mother.

And you thought you weren't going to
have to cook this year.

Joanna!

Who's the jerk that talked in the middle
of the drive?

Hello, Richard.

Oh, hi.

Hi, Dad. When did you get here?

We pulled in a couple of minutes ago.

Nice car.

Oh, no. How's George taking it?

Oh, not too well. Last time I saw him,
he was walking down Main Street kicking

puddles.

What's that?

Stephanie's got the flu. I was just
taking this up to her. On top of that,

parents arrived. I haven't slept all
night, and I've still got two more

to cook.

Well, let me take the tray while I tell
you my news.

What? Well, since the parade's been
rained out, no one really has anything

do, so... Don't tell me they're coming
early.

Yeah. How early?

Hello?

no idea.

Why don't you take Stephanie's tray up
to her and bring me something to wear?

I'll go hide in the kitchen.

Did I hear Dick?

Yeah. The parade got rained out and
everybody's come early. Oh, dear. And

at you.

Here are the dishes you asked for. Good.
You got your chest in time. Can I use

your dishwasher?

You mean they're dirty? Some of them.
They're mixed in together.

senior citizen.

Kirk, this is my mother, Florine
McKenna. Mom, this is our neighbor, Kirk

Devane. How do you do? Fine.

So, you want to take off your rings and
give me a hand?

Hi, Mom. Hi, Kirk.

Hi, Dick.

Well,

here you go.

Get that pants and a sweater.

It's Thanksgiving.

Honey, please go upstairs and bring me
my yellow dress.

Oh, Annie, you look so pasty and yellow.

Just bring me a dress.

Maybe something in red.

Fine.

Hello?

Dishes?

Oh, hi, Dick. Happy Thanksgiving.

Oh, hi, guys.

Where's Joanna? Still working on those
turkeys? Yeah. What are you doing?

Uh, you might say I'm helping her with
the dressing.

I see your guests have arrived.

Uh, yeah. I guess you don't have time to
introduce me to anyone. Oh, don't be

silly. Everybody, this is my father -in
-law, Irvis McKenna.

Dad.

This is everybody.

Mom, could you clear some space so I
could put this down?

It's okay. I can handle this until you
get back.

Hi, everybody.

Put on your coats. This is the
Rainmaker.

Be quiet and wash, Kirk.

Mom, this is our caretaker, George
Utley.

George, my mother.

Oh, it's nice to meet you. If I seem
sad, it's because it just poured on the

greatest day of my life. I'm sorry.

I know exactly how you feel.

George, why don't you go out there and
be with your friends? They'll take your

mind off your troubles.

Maybe you're right.

Hi, Dick.

and stockings.

You didn't say you needed them.

I didn't say I needed a hundred people
for Thanksgiving either, but you thought

of that.

Right back.

Now, is there anything else you can
think of that isn't readily apparent to

Her hair's a mess.

All right, a brush and comb.

Maybe a little lipstick, you know?

For color.

Hi.

Me again. Just keep mingling. Dinner
should be ready in just a few hours.

Oh, good.

George, come meet Joanna's father.

George Utley. Irvus McKenna.

Joanna's told us a lot about you. Oh?

George was in charge of our parade
today.

Oh, you must be devastated.

Stephanie Vanderken. I usually look a
lot better than this. That's true.

Oh, dear. Would you take my tray down
for me?

In a minute.

Well, goodbye, everybody.

Bye -bye.

There.

That's the last one.

You're a terrific dishwasher, Flo.
Thanks.

No, I'm serious. If inflation ever eats
up your pension, come work for me.

I hope this is everything.

So do I. Now, everybody get out so I can
get dressed.

Come on, Flo. I'll introduce you to the
others.

Let's go mingle with the pumpkins.

Isn't that beautiful?

Sorry, Dick. I didn't know Joanna was
dressing in the kitchen.

Oh, no.

Is there someplace else I could get a
drink of water?

I'll get you one.

You want me to get that, Dick?

Yeah, thanks.

Hello, this is the Stratford Inn. Can I
help you?

They say if the storm keeps up, there
could be a flood.

Well...

Honey, don't get upset. They had to
leave.

What do you mean they had to leave?

I just spent seven days cooking 14
turkeys. Where the hell did they go?

The river's rising. They had to go and
sandbag their homes.

Feel better now?

No, this is terrible.

If you're worried about the food, I'll
take it off your hands.

You're not getting our food.

Do you suppose there's any way we could
take all this food around, everybody?

I don't know. We could try.

Well, then let's do it. You and Dad
start carving. Mom and I will... Start

dishing up the stuffing. We'll make up
turkey dinners and take them around to

the whole town.

What a fine idea. And I'll be right
behind you hustling salt drinks.

I'm sure I had already eaten.

How are you feeling?

Better.

Well, let's stop running. It looks like
everything's going to be okay.

Boy, what a day.

Mom, Dad, we really appreciate you
helping us out. We know it wasn't your

of a great Thanksgiving. Are you
kidding? It's the best Thanksgiving we

had. It was?

Yeah. I feel like we really got into the
spirit of the season today.

I think we all realized we have a lot to
be thankful for.

And with that in mind, let's eat.

I haven't liked that.

Oh, mine too. I'm a star. Oh, no.

What's the matter? I just realized we
don't have anything to eat. We gave all

the food away.

You carved all those turkeys and you
didn't hoard any for us?

What does it take to teach you a lesson?
What we did today is what Thanksgiving

is all about.

It's also about eating yourself into a
coma.

Who's going to feed us? Well, let's go
look in the kitchen. Maybe we can

scrounge up something.

Excuse me.

Yes? I've got a group of people from
Arizona on my bus.

Oh, that's right. I almost forgot.

I know it's late, but do you still have
their rooms? Of course we still have

them. Okay, folks, come on in. We're
surprised you made it through the storm.

too. It was touch and go there for a
while.

Hello. Hello.

Thank you for holding our rooms for us.

Oh, you're quite welcome.

Unfortunately, we had an emergency, and
so we're not going to be able to feed

you Thanksgiving dinner after all.

That's okay. We stopped and bought
burgers all the way.

Is this ironic?

Here we are on Thanksgiving with no
food, and who should show up at our

but a tribe of American Indians?

I guess the next thing is you offer to
share your food with us.

I don't know. The last time we did this,
we got into a lot of trouble.