Original subtitles

Hey, Jamal, this e -contest is going to be tough.

I don't remember having a class this hard since... Since... Well, I've never

a class this hard.

Don't worry, Moesha. You'll do fine.

Yeah, that's easy for you to say.

Everybody can't get perfect scores on their quizzes like some people I know.

What's your secret?

I cheat.

Just kidding. This kind of stuff has always been easy for me.

Hey. That's a nice bracelet.

Oh, thank you. My boyfriend sent it to me from the Philippines.

Is he in the service?

No, he's on tour with his group.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. That's cool.

Maybe for Q, but I'm really missing. It's hard being in a long -distance

relationship. I know what you mean.

My fiancé goes to school down south, so we always emailing, writing letters,

calling each other. Tell me about it. Q and I spend so much time on the phone,

my last bill was more than my tuition.

You know?

I just saw a really deep movie about long -distance relationships.

Really? Yeah.

The other one you went?

Oh, yeah. I heard that was pretty good. Hey, it changed my whole outlook.

I wouldn't mind seeing it again.

Hey,

you want to check it out?

I'm tempted, but I really should study.

Come on.

We can talk econ all the way to the theater.

All right, well, we can start by deciding who came.

Oh, I'll pick up the tickets if you get the popcorn, the soda, the candy.

parking today.

Hey, son.

Now, make sure you come home straight from school so I can take you over to

Carl's. Man, Dad, that place is way too far.

Why can't we just go to the barbershop next to the mall?

Because they won't take my coupon.

Besides, where else are you going to get a fish sandwich and a haircut for less

than $5?

What's up, everybody?

Hey, son.

What's up?

What's wrong, man?

Man, Dad won't take me way across town to get a haircut.

Just so he can use his coupon.

I cut Miles' hair.

You? Yeah.

I learned how to cut in boot camp.

Well, I'm sorry, Dorian, but Miles is used to a professional cut.

I do it for free. Then don't take too much off the top.

Miles, that okay with you?

Yeah, I'm with it. Cool.

You know, if you do all right with Miles, I might even let you cut my hair.

Oh, that depends, Uncle Frank. On what?

If I could borrow the lawnmower.

Stopping by.

Sure. I wasn't aware he ever left.

Hey, Mo. Why you all dressed up? Oh, we going somewhere?

I'm not dressed up and I can't hang out tonight because I'm going to Jamal's to

study.

And you wearing that?

What's wrong with it?

Mo, those are not study clothes.

No, Hakeem, they're not. There, my man is on tour and I want some attention

clothes. You better go ahead, Mo.

Don't be silly, all right? Jamal and I are just...

Friends. Oh, okay. Well, since you're just friends studying, is it okay if I

come? Why? You don't even take econ.

Yeah, but I was thinking I can help you with your logic.

Hakeem, you are overreacting, all right? Jamal and I have so much in common.

We're both in long -distance relationships.

We're both taking econ. And you're both creeping.

Look, you have to admit, okay, you've been spending a lot of time with Jamal.

When was the last time you talked to Q?

Why? Well, because it seems like every time he calls, you're with your mom.

And I can't keep covering for you, girl. You got me lying more than Halle Berry

in traffic court.

Hey, Hakeem. Hey, Mr. Mitch.

Oh, you got it looking pretty good there, Dorian.

Thanks. Yeah, man, I cannot wait to go to boot camp so I can learn how to cut.

Miles,

boot camp is not a goal, son.

It's a penalty.

Did I say boot camp?

I'm in med school.

Yeah, you might have a little talent there, Dorian.

You think so? Oh, I know so.

You know, not everybody can give a good haircut.

Who knows?

Maybe one day you might have your own shot.

You know what, Uncle Frank?

That's a good idea.

Maybe someday I will. Well, you never know.

All right, I'll see you guys later.

All right. Take care, son.

All right, y 'all. D -Money's Barbershop is officially open.

Here. I made up some flyers. Miles, you take some down to your school.

Hakeem, you let the college crowd know what's happening.

Serving the community since 1974.

Man, you weren't even born yet.

I don't want to sound like I just started.

Boy, now, Dorian, man, you spelled barbershop wrong.

I did?

Sike, gotcha.

Oops,

oops, mouth. Go get a Band -Aid. Band -Aid? See, Dorian, I told you, man.

Sight got your back.

You want to watch another movie?

No, I better get going. It's getting late.

You sure?

Yeah. I got a pretty big movie selection.

Love Jones.

She's Got a Happy.

The Wood.

Actually, Love Jones is one of me and Q's favorites.

Tiffany and I love that movie, too.

Hey, remember the scene when Ned Long is taking pictures of Lorenz Tate?

Yeah, that Lorenz was looking kind of good with that shirt off.

Lorenz? I was talking about Ned.

Well, actually, my favorite part of the movie was the poetry.

I love a man who can express himself.

Really? Yeah.

Well, then, I'd like to express how much I want you to stay with me tonight.

What? To watch another movie.

Okay.

Terrell, boy, you are too fine.

Oh, hold on.

Steve, you don't find it in Terrell.

Oh.

Oh, Dion.

You look crazy.

Oh,

you are so nasty.

Don't be telling nobody.

Just sitting here with some friends of mine.

Uh, Moe.

Um, uh, she's not here right now. She's, um, uh, washing her clothes.

No, I know it's after midnight, but, you know, that's the best time to wash

because nobody else is in the laundry room except for Moe. Oh, Lord, she down

there by herself, too. I got to go. Bye.

Moe's page and number.

Good morning.

Mo, you come strolling in here at 7 a .m. and all you can say is, good

Donut.

Good morning works.

No, but for real, girl, you had me worried half to death.

I must have paged you like 50 times.

No, I was at your mom's.

At your mom's?

For real?

That time just got away from me. I mean, one minute we were just talking,

relaxing, watching movies, and the next thing you know... You're butt naked,

covered in honey, making the mattress pop a willy. Girl, I know I have been

there.

Nothing happened, all right? No sex, no kissing, no nothing.

We just talked.

Talked? Yeah.

About what?

Well, he talked about his girlfriend, and I talked about my relationship with

You're not going to have a relationship with Q. You keep missing his phone

calls. Oh, he calls again?

About a hundred times.

They sent you some more packages, too. The postmark says Australia.

A boomerang?

Ooh, how romantic.

Shorty, no matter where I am... Wherever this tour takes me, like this

boomerang, I'll always come back to you. I love you.

Aw, Q is so sweet.

Sweet? Mo, he sent you a curved wood.

You're jealous.

Oh, I am.

A video?

Oh, Anithi, I don't know if I want you to see this.

Oh, that's all right. I'll just watch it when you go.

Dang, you got fun.

Oh, yeah.

From the tour?

Yeah, now why would he send me a tape?

Hey, Moesha, I bet you're wondering why I sent you this tape.

I know I could have sent you a postcard or a letter or some corny boomerang.

but I wanted to send you something a little more personal.

Look, I know I have no business missing you, but I do, you know, and I'm hoping

when the tour gets to L .A. around Thanksgiving, we have time to sit down

talk about that.

Well, look, I got to go. We're having crocodile gumbo for dinner.

Luckily, I brought my own hot sauce. See you later, baby.

Aw, that was so sweet.

Hey, Mo, you got more men than Wu -Tang.

You see, Khalid was just a friend.

I met him on the road.

Well, I hope Q isn't meeting as many friends as you are.

What you trying to say?

Oh, girl, I ain't mad at you. Shoot, whatever you're doing is working.

I mean, you're engaged to Q, spending the night with Jamal, Khalid sending you

tapes, Hakeem's giving you rings and writing you poems. Girl, you the man.

But I love Q.

Yeah, you keep saying that.

But love should have brought you home last night.

Maybe you're right.

I'm just going to work this whole thing out with Jamal tonight.

Good idea.

Uh, Mo.

You mind if I hold on to that tape for you for a little while?

Yo, D.

You could roll with somebody like this, right?

Dang, I could roll with her for sure.

Ooh, let me see. Hey, now, you too young for that, man.

No, he's not.

Little man knows what's up. Yeah, that's right. I'm almost 14.

Man, you can almost see this.

See, you almost done, man? I got a date.

Where? In court.

No, man.

That was yesterday.

The witness didn't show up.

Tonight, I'm rolling with Judy.

Judy, Judy.

Hold up.

Judy?

The one with the purple contact lenses and the tattoo on her neck that says

Lorenzo is here?

Yeah.

And she got the cutest little bullet wound on her left thigh.

I think I'm in love, dog.

How could you be in love with Judy?

Last week you were in love with Buck 2 Tina.

I'm still in love with Tina, but she spent too much time with her kids.

Isn't that what she's supposed to do, man?

Yeah. Every day?

Man, I need to cut some sense into your head.

I think you're done. You are done.

Yo, D -Money, this is tight, man. It's tight.

Hey, how many cigarettes all you, man?

Jay, we out, man.

We out.

Right, right.

Hey, here you go, then.

Hey,

mind if I hit the fridge?

Help yourself.

Oh, yeah.

I'm next.

Yo, D, man, looks like we're doing pretty well. Pretty well?

We're doing very well. Should have gone into business for my glove a long time

ago. Yeah, man.

If business keeps going like this, I'm going to have to come back and rob you.

He's just joking, man. I mean, you know, we all rehabilitated.

I'll be with you in a minute, Dirt. I just got to clean my blade.

What's going on in here, son?

You can take my spot, man.

Your fro is jacked up.

Dory, what are all these people doing in my house?

Uncle Frank, this is my friend Jay, and these are my people from boot camp.

Dirt, bullet, nine.

Uncle Frank.

What's up, Big Frankie?

Nice crib you got here, man.

Lots of expensive knick -knacks and whatnot.

Man, you think this is nice?

You should see what they got upstairs.

Dorian, your friends are gonna have to leave.

But they're my customers. But nothing.

All right, everybody out.

Come on, let's go.

Out.

Miles? I was just checking out the weather.

If you don't get up to your room, I predict thunder.

Uncle Frank, why are you tripping? I think you know, Dorian.

Here I am trying to be an entrepreneur and make money the legit way, and you

shut me down. You shut yourself down, Dorian. Our home is not a barbershop.

Yeah, not anymore. You chased all my customers away.

You always talking about how I should be dedicated and stuff, more responsible.

Responsible?

Dorian, you had a bunch of strangers in my house.

Who knows what those boot camp thugs were doing upstairs?

Oh, I see the real problem. Oh, do you?

What is it?

You don't think my friends are good enough to be in the house?

I bet you wouldn't trip if Moe or Miles' friends went upstairs.

They don't have any friends named Bullet.

Man, this is whack.

I can't wait till I turn 18 so I can get up out of here. Yeah, well, until that

day comes, Dorian, there will be no cutting hair in this house.

Are we clear?

Yeah, crystal.

Good.

And flat tops went out in the 80s.

Hold on, I'm coming.

Moesha? Jamal, look, we really need to talk.

Moesha, this is really not a good time. Oh, well, what I have to say will only

take a second. Yeah, but... Jamal, look, I know that we've been spending a lot

of time together, and everything has been cool, but after last night when I

slept over, she slept over?

Oh. Oh.

Oh, what's up?

Hi.

Who are you?

Oh, babe, this is...

This is, uh, uh... Moesha. Yeah, Moesha.

Moesha, this is Tiffany, my girl. You know, the one I was telling you about.

Oh.

Oh, yeah. Hey, how you doing? Yeah, he talks about you all the time.

You just fly in, or... No.

I drove.

You drove?

All the way here?

I go to UC Irvine. It's only 40 minutes away.

You thought she wanted to go down south.

Down south?

You take the 405 south to get there.

was that a long -distance relationship?

Her area code is 714 minus 323. Long distance.

So why did she spend the night, Jamal?

You know, that's a good question.

Moesha, why you spend the night?

I just got tired.

Tired? From what?

Look, baby, Moesha's really lonely.

What?

I'm one of the few people that take time to listen to her problems.

Especially when she goes on and on about her boyfriend.

Wait a minute. On and on? Let me finish, Mo.

So last night when she came over to give me another episode of Moesha's World, I

pretended to listen to her until she talked herself to sleep.

Nothing happened.

Right, Moesha?

Right, right, right. Nothing happened.

See there, babe?

Nothing happened.

Just trying to be a good friend.

Right.

I try.

I try.

Well, you know, I'm going to just go ahead on with it.

Bunch of freaks.

Q, I want to start off by... I'm sorry for missing all your phone calls.

A lot has been going on around here lately.

But everything's cool now.

Baby, I miss you so much. I never thought it would be this hard being away

you.

But I guess love isn't always easy.

Anyway, you mean everything to me.

And nobody else means anything.

Oh, and thanks for the boomerang.

Alicia. Oh, look.

We need to talk.

Hakeem, I'm in the middle of something. Yes, yes, you are, and that's what we

need to talk about.

Okay? This little thing you got going on with Jamal, it ain't right.

Okay? You need to be honest with yourself because you know where it's

All right? Now, you need to do the right thing and cut this off.

Hakeem, you know, you're right, but I already did that.

Oh.

Well,

you also need to dump Q and get back with me.

Not going to happen.

All right. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Bye -bye. All right.

Okay.

Thank you.