Original subtitles

Oh, little Zachary.

Oh, little Zachary was in my second grade class and he had the biggest crush

me. Oh, I hated that boy.

He was always sending me notes, trying to kiss me and giving me now and laters.

I thought all that was goofy then.

But now, I wish I could find someone that sensitive who always pays attention

my needs.

The biggest crush on me.

Ooh, I hated that boy.

I promised to fix it two days ago.

Uncle Bernie's not a plumber.

He's a... All right, I don't know what he does.

Let's see.

What do you call a guy who wears flashy clothes, too much jewelry, and drives a

big, long Cadillac?

Well, that's Reverend Johnson.

Pretty as ever. Oh, my God. How long has it been?

Oh, too long, girl. Way too long.

Moesha, Nisi, Kim, this is an old friend of mine, Earl Thomas.

Oh, old friend, huh?

Would you happen to have a younger twin brother who looks exactly like you?

So, Earl, what's the story with you, Andel, and all these flowers?

Well, Andel and I had quite a story at one time.

A love story.

Truth be told, I tried to marry Andel when we were still in college.

Why? This Andel?

Yes, this Andel.

But she broke my heart when she told me no. She told you no? This Andel?

Yes, this Andel.

I just wasn't ready.

Oh, that's so, so, so young and arrestless.

But you waited all this time for your one true love.

No, I didn't. I got married a couple months later.

To Panky Allen.

No disrespect, but your wife's name is Panky. My ex -wife.

We divorced three years ago.

Oh, so you're single.

Every day, all day.

Well, so is Andel.

Every day, every night, every weekend.

That's a good thing, Andel, because I would love to take you out to dinner

tonight.

I'll be ready at 8.

8 o 'clock it is.

Hello.

What about my uncle?

You mean the one who hasn't returned my phone calls, is afraid of commitment,

and takes me for granted?

Yep, that's the one.

Look, Mo, Earl and I are just two old friends going out for dinner.

Well, if you guys are just two old friends, can I go?

Hell no.

out your attic is not the way I had business spending my Saturday afternoon.

Afternoon? Ernie, you just got here 30 minutes ago.

30 weekend minutes.

To us single folks, that's like prime time.

Yeah, well, your stuff has been taking up prime storage space. All this junk is

going in the trash. Junk?

You must be crazy.

This stuff is timeless.

stop when you went to see the mac i don't know why you bother me most of the

stuff is these i bet you got a pair of hot pants on your head too oh

speaking of hot dearest deidre may we forever be each other's

everything love

Hey, Bernie, don't even try to go there. Man, that is obviously just a very old

picture. 1990.

Is that a 308?

Give me that.

Hey, come on, guys.

Now, what is taking you so long?

No, the question is, where were you the night of September 3rd,

1993, 08?

And with who?

It's with whom.

Proper grammar won't change the fact.

Uh, baby, Bernie and I were just wondering, uh, who this is in this

Hose with no shirt on.

All greased up like a holiday butterball.

Bo.

Bo?

Is that Jamaican for boo?

Bernie, why are you always trying to start something, huh?

This is me. Yeah, you're right, Dee. So why don't I just throw it away with the

rest of the junk? Oh, no, honey, that's all right.

I'll just put it back in my box so that I can sort through my things later.

Thank you.

What a shame.

What a shame.

Another strong man made weak by marriage.

Oh, come on, Bernie. She's just trying to save face.

Man, she'll throw that picture away later.

You still believe in Easter Bunny, don't you?

Hi, Daddy. How go, Bernie? Hey, baby.

Uncle Bernie, I just left Indel. She didn't ask you where I was last night.

Good.

Uncle Bernie, I don't understand. I mean, if you're serious about Indel, why

didn't you want to see her last night? Because I'd already eaten.

And I just didn't see the point.

Bam, old Bernie.

I'm going to take her out to dinner tonight. Don't worry about it.

Don't bother, Uncle Bernie. She already has dinner plans.

See, that's what's wrong with a woman.

Just assuming I'm going to take her to the CIS.

It's with another man, Uncle Bernie, and he's taking her to a restaurant where

they don't use trees.

Another man, huh?

Well, I hope she bring me doggy bags.

Bernie, look, when Andell was in college, she was this man's one true

Aren't you afraid he might sweep off a feet?

He can use my broom.

I'm just asking, why you can't call somebody?

How many times do I have to tell you, Bernie? I've just been busy.

For three days.

You get my messages.

Yeah, and please stop singing Whip -A -Pill on my answering machine.

That's our song.

What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with me?

I thought we had something.

Look, I've just been busy. I do have a business to run.

That's my tweeting.

Businesswoman first and foremost.

Page me later.

Maybe take a moonlit stroll on the beach.

Better yet, let's just rent a movie about the beach.

Bye, Bernie.

See you on the beach, tween.

stop. You know you're worth it.

True, true.

What is this?

Johnny,

hit it. Johnny who?

Smells good on you.

Slap on your lipstick.

And let all your hair down.

Cause baby, when you get through, I'm gonna show you.

Tonight will be a special night.

What's this picture of Bo doing in here?

Highlighting your imperfection.

Hey, Dad, can you spell sit up?

Well, I can't either.

I'm going to go look that up.

Now, don't you say a word, Bernie.

Don't need to.

A picture worth a thousand words.

What are you doing with my scrapbook?

Dee, I thought we agreed that you should get rid of this picture. I never said

any such thing.

Now, Dee, you need to throw this picture away.

Now. I don't take orders, Frank.

Guess you told her.

Guess what? Guess what? What?

Adele's getting married.

I'm not marrying that woman.

Not to you. To Earl.

college boyfriend.

Oh, Bernie.

I'm sorry, man.

Sorry?

You don't have to feel sorry for Bernie.

That just means it's a Mac in the back.

Free Mac.

The ball and chain is gone.

Well, looks like Tweety has found herself a new putty cat.

Bernie, you okay with this?

Any fish in the sea, Dee.

You sure?

You get off one bus, you catch the next.

Well, then I think this calls for a celebration.

I'm gonna throw Ann Dillon an engagement party.

Won't bother me.

No sense in me don't want to celebrate.

Great! And I know the perfect caterer, Ingrid. Now, where did I put her

Maybe you left it in your scrapbook.

Oh, everything is perfect.

I really want to thank you for throwing us this party. I can't tell you how much

we appreciate it. Oh, it's our pleasure, Earl.

We just want the two of you to be happy.

Well, if the two of us are half as happy as the two of you seem to be, we will

be together forever.

Oh, that's so sweet. You guys are going to make me cry.

Oh, you're supposed to be mingling, so come on. Have a nice time.

Yeah, it sure was nice what he just said about us, wasn't it? Mm -hmm.

We will be together forever, as long as we trust each other.

Yeah, I know I shouldn't have let that picture get under my skin.

I'm sorry, baby.

Well, it wasn't all your fault.

I could have been a little bit more forthcoming.

Oh, really?

Mm -hmm.

I was on vacation with my sisters, and Bo was our scuba instructor.

He had a little crush on me.

So the joke, my sisters, they took that picture, and they wrote that little love

note on it. So there was never anything between the two of you at all?

Not at all.

In fact, a couple of months later, I met and fell in love

with the man of my dreams.

see you here. Hey, baby girl.

Just couldn't sit at home and not bathe and drink Jack Daniels and listen to B

.B. King for the rest of my life.

Had to move on.

So I figured the best way was for me to come here.

Bernie? What are you doing here?

Don't worry.

I didn't come to disrupt your festivities. I just came to bring you

How you doing?

Um, Bernie, this is my fiancé, Earl.

Earl, this is Bernie.

My uncle.

Got a good woman there, Earl.

Take care of her.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thanks for coming.

Listen, I'll be in the other room, okay, sweetie? Okay.

Sweetie?

I can't even say Tweety.

Oh, I'll be in there, too.

Bernie.

Oh.

Here.

Get that doll you wanted.

I remember we were driving all the way up to... Up to San Francisco.

Mm -hmm.

And the car overheated in Bakersfield.

I told you we should have rented a car. No, I told you the L -Dog was going to

pull us through.

Well, of course, if it had, you never would have been told to that rest stop

never would have seen this doll.

I can't believe you remembered.

How can I forget?

Shoot, last night I jumped in the L -Dog and, shoot, I popped in the Al Green 8

-track.

I drove all the way to Bakersfield.

Got you that doll.

Birdie, you did that for me?

I'll do it again.

I hope your car didn't overheat. No, no, not once.

That dog drove like a champion.

She must have knew I had to get that doll.

Because of my last chance.

Show you how much I love you.

Good -bye, sweetie.

Hey, Adele, we got you something.

Surprise! Go on, open it.

Niecy bought the car, Kim signed it, and I put the money in it.

All of it.

Congratulations on your engagement.

I'm sorry, you guys. Excuse me.

I told you to get a Ziggy car.

But no, you had to get a Hallmark.

And then... You okay?

Yeah.

No. Bernie gave me this doll.

Oh, yeah, and it is ugly.

I can get you to recede and you can take it back.

I can't marry Earl.

Why?

Because Uncle Bernie gave you an ugly doll.

Bernie loves me.

He said that?

And he showed me.

Why couldn't he have showed me six months ago or a week ago?

Shoot, any time before Earl put this rock on my finger.

Well, Uncle Bernie always had his own time zone.

And if he had to just stay there...

I would be marrying Earl.

So you gonna marry my Uncle Bernie?

I don't know.

I'm just not ready to give up on him.

So what you gonna tell Earl?

Why you think I'm out here?

He's a sweet guy.

He deserves somebody who loves him the way that I... The way you love Uncle

Bernie?

Yeah.

But I don't think that's the best way to break it to him.

Good luck, Andale.

Maybe I should let Earl get some cake first.

And Dale and Uncle Bernie didn't know what they had until it was almost gone.

I wonder if I've already met my true love and somehow passed him by.

I don't know.

But the next time a little Zachary tries to give me now and laters, I'll take

him up on the offer.

Said give it my all to you today. I want to know. Yeah, if you love me