Original subtitles

Hello, everybody.

I'm George Wallace. It's time to play Where Will You Go to College?

Our first contestant is Moesha Mitchell from Lamarck Park, California.

Moesha, turn the wheel.

Heaven, you.

Ivy League. Army.

The Honeys or Howard.

The money that's failing me. Get a job.

Bye -bye.

Will y 'all shut up?

Choosing a college is without question the biggest decision of my life.

If I make the right choice, the world will be at my feet.

But if I make the wrong choice, It could be a lifetime of regrets.

Twelve years of hard academic work is now reduced to one spin of the wheel.

This decision is the ultimate gamble.

But I've never been more ready.

Big money, big money, big money!

Felicia. Felicia.

for our trip to Manor University. Tomorrow?

Yep, it's prospective freshman weekend. Oh, you're looking at five prime

prospects? More like prime suspects.

You know, why do we have to be suspects? Yeah.

Well, you see, the problem is, Andell has bought into that gringo mentality.

No, the problem is your transcripts. Well, I can't lie. I was going up there

party.

with my cousin Sharice, her and her roommate are chaperones for the event.

plan to be Sharice's chaperone. You know, I'm going to get that fine girl.

you got a better chance of getting in the harbor.

You know what? You keep believing my caramel -colored friend because there is

woman out there for every man.

Well, then I guess there's a broke skinny hood right out there with

name on it.

Sorry,

Niecy. You're not my type.

University is awful close to Stanford. Are you sure we're not using this

visit as an excuse to see Aaron?

Aunt Del, we're not supposed to talk about him.

Oh, my bad.

Your water's free, boo.

I mean, it's cool, y 'all.

I'm not even thinking about Aaron.

He's just a footnote in my past. I hear you, girl. I mean, he had his chance,

but, you know, he blew it. Life goes on. All right, you know, easy mode.

Being here now, I mean, shoot, this was the first time in my life I was ever

going to spend a weekend alone with a man, and then he started tripping. Oh,

see, I wasn't having it.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

It's over.

As long as you know.

Sheree, do you think I should wear this to the party tonight?

I don't know, Iris. That skirt is saying something you might not want to back

up.

I guess you're right.

I want something else.

Well, good. Then I can wear it.

Hey, girl.

How you doing? Iris, this is my cousin, Moesha. And these are her friends, Kim,

Niecy, Hakim, and I don't know you.

I'm Antonio.

Lover of fine art, fine food, and fine women. And find somebody else.

I like that skirt.

So did I.

Look, what took you guys so long? I was expecting you an hour ago. Oh, we

stopped at the school store and did a little shopping.

Ooh, I feel like an alumni.

Kim, you have to go here first.

I am here.

So, uh, Sharice, since I'm practically a college man myself, can we go out

sometime?

Well, Oh, Hakeem, I don't like you in that way, but I do think you're kind of

cute.

Puppies are cute.

Oh, so is he.

Hey, Cherie, Cyrus.

What's up, y 'all? Hey, Mervyn. This is my cousin, Moesha, and these are her

friends. Moesha, this is Mervyn. I figured he can answer any questions you

about J -School. He's a journalism major.

Oh, okay. I love that. If you wouldn't mind.

Glad to help out a fellow journalist, Moesha.

And please, call me Merv.

Uh, Charisse, I hate to be the one to break up this little party, but we

get ready for the tour.

Oh, yeah, you're right. You guys put your stuff down.

Can you believe it?

We are going to be staying in the same room as two beautiful college women. You

know what I'm saying? Is this our lucky day or what? I just hope it's my lucky

night.

You know,

fellas, it's going to be awfully crowded in here with five women.

You'll never get in the bathroom.

You guys can bunk with me.

No, we can't.

What he means is that we don't want to put you through any trouble.

Oh, no, no. No, no.

I'm sure it won't be any trouble at all. Right, Murph?

Not at all. My roommate's gone for the weekend, so consider yourselves guests

Murph. Murph guests.

Oh, okay.

Okay, now.

Hey,

we are...

I feel like reading a book.

Okay,

a magazine.

I feel you guys. I mean, it's like the rush of freedom. Knowing you're on your

own, no restrictions, no rules, no parents.

Well, it's your dad.

Yo, Miles, that sleepover's the bomb. All right, well, why don't y 'all go

this bomb? Go.

Why don't you go tear up the living room? Can't you see I'm trying to pitch

tent here?

Yeah, but Dad, we don't want it. Yes, you do, son.

Now, don't let a little rain dampen your spirits, gentlemen.

Camping is good.

Mr. Mitchell, we're over the whole camping thing. Let it go.

Son, just so you know, I believe in community parenting.

And just so you'll know, his mother works for Johnny Cochran.

All righty, guys.

Yeah, Tim?

Let us slam -patter to the living room couch.

Take, James. Bring it on back.

Let's not.

How about some dinner, guys, huh?

Food, food, food, food, food, food.

Okay, okay. What do you maniacs want?

Pizza. That'll work.

Pizza it is. I'm allergic to pizza.

Okay, then we'll have something else.

How about tacos? No doubt, tacos. Ooh, tacos it is.

I'm allergic to tacos, too.

What would you like to eat?

I can't eat anything from the four basic food groups. Because I'm allergic to

all of them.

Well, that's too bad.

You don't get any ice cream.

I should say it's on my short list, but don't be too surprised if you see my

face here next year.

I could live with that.

My brother, I do believe that we are in paradise.

Well, you got that right. There are college women in our future tonight.

Yo, especially if we pretend to be college men. Yeah, come on.

Louise, what kind of woman would think you two are college men? Okay, you're

even college material.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you just wait.

We'll show you.

Good comeback.

Yeah. Somebody had to set him straight. Yeah.

Number one.

Two. Two.

Two. Two.

Last two.

One. Two.

weekend a huge success.

So give yourselves a hand for that.

Now our next one comes to us from Stanford University.

Now y 'all know y 'all wrong.

Come on, be nice.

Let's give a warm Maynard University welcome to those distinguished

Who's Aaron?

Mulder's boyfriend.

I bet there's a lot less drama in his life.

I mean, look how well he's covering up his obvious pain.

Well, Aaron must be a fool to let you go.

Thanks, Merv. You're really sweet.

to introduce my sensational step and soul roars of Delta Sigma.

What are you doing up here?

Uh, well, I'm just here checking out the campus.

You guys were good.

You look beautiful, Mom.

Hey, um, there's a party at Stanford tonight.

You want to come?

Oh, thanks, but there's a party here tonight.

Oh.

Well, if I stop by, then will you take me a dance?

Maybe I will.

Oh, I will. Hopefully I'll see you later.

Bye, Aaron.

Girl, what do you think?

We're getting close.

If you don't tell me, I will.

I'll tell you something, Rock.

If D .E .V. drops the diamond cutter on you, you're going down.

Bang! Yeah!

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Stop your yapping and start scrapping. Bang!

Sorry, Mrs. Mitchell.

Hey, guys, I found some dry sticks.

I'll have that fire roaring in just a sec.

Cool. Call us when the marshmallows are done. I'm allergic to marshmallows.

Why are you allergic to marshmallows?

All right, all right. Come on, guys. Fight night is over. Let's call it a

It's been a long day, and it's time for bed.

We got to get up early and go to church in the morning.

No, no, no. Wait a minute, Dee.

The guys haven't heard scary stories from Scoutmaster Frank.

on your pajamas, and then we'll get you settled in the tent.

Dad,

only dorks camp indoors.

Can we just sleep over in my room, please?

Please?

Yeah, okay.

Thanks, Dad. Let's go, y 'all.

Well,

dear, I guess I better take down the tent.

Not so fast.

I'll play camp with you.

Scoutmaster.

Just checking things out.

While you're checking things out, I'll get you something to drink.

You know what? A soda would be really nice.

You got it.

Hi. Can I have a ginger ale and a cola?

Thanks.

Here you go, Moira.

Oh, thanks.

Sure.

To a new friend.

I'll drink to that.

Uh -huh.

It looks like you two Macs are doing all right. Yeah, and we are jammed.

You give us the word and we'll kick those two girls in the car.

Oh, Mom, then you'll do the same thing to us when another pretty face comes

along. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Charisse, girl, I would never do that to you.

Shoot you the type of girl I'd be proud enough to take home with Mama.

Okay, my sweet.

Oh, what do you say? Can we go out?

No. Oh.

But we can dance to the next song.

See that there? See, see, I want them cute to sweet.

I'm wearing her down.

They all did, man.

They all did.

I look back and reminisce how we used to kiss. Smash hits in the G .S. I bought

a nice wrist.

She got too big for her bridges, but the bridges were not for any queens. Hey,

looks like Moe forgot all about Aaron.

He was a nice guy.

Well, I got to give you your props, Santomia. Looks like you and Hakeem

off that college man's dance.

But unlike you, Niecy and I don't need gimmicks to get college me.

See, we got scale.

college men.

Over to you.

What's so funny?

Oh, well, you're a so -called college man.

Play football for Dorsey High.

What? Stop lying. No, no, no, no, no. Watch.

Hey, yo, Jason.

Nice game last weekend.

We got played?

Merv, I'm feeling really weird.

Oh, no, no. We have to sit down.

Hey, I got a better idea. Why don't we get some fresh air?

I'm really sleepy.

Don't worry, Mo. You're in good hands.

Hey, Merv.

Man. What up, Clyde?

Damn, she's lit.

Looks like they're going to be getting a little funk.

And you know this, man.

Clyde, it may not be a plan, but with these, I crush a lot.

The only thing getting crushed tonight is you.

Moisa, are you okay?

Moisa. Oh, my God, Moisa. Yo, hey, Mo, what happened?

Yo, yo, somebody call the ambulance and the campus police. That fool dropped

Moisa. I mean, for real, like it's making money. Now you want to stake your

money, trash, give me the tax.

Aaron, what are you doing here?

Where am I?

It's a long story. How you feeling, Mo?

What happened to me?

Well, that guy Murph slipped you the date rape drug.

Oh, Rufy?

Did he?

No. No, I got to you before anything could happen.

And don't worry, he's been arrested.

Thanks for helping me.

Hey, I'm just glad I was there.

Me too.

Aaron, will you hold me?

Look, everything is going to be fine.

Choosing the right college is a gamble.

But an even bigger gamble is choosing the right friend.

With Merv...

I cracked out.

But with Aaron, I may have hit the jackpot.