All language subtitles for moesha_s02e07_women_are_from_mars

Ever since Dad and Dee decided to have a
baby, there's been a lot of tension

around here.

So when Cherise called and invited me to
come up to Berkeley to get a taste of

college life, you know, my bags were
packed in a New York minute.

Well, of course, whenever one takes an
overnight trip, extra precautions must

taken.

So I secured my valuables and left an
obvious strap.

For an obvious fool, I dipped my fake
diary in some itching powder.

out Sonny Liston with a right. Hey, bro,
you wrong. Everybody know it was a left

hook that knocked out the big ugly bear.
What you talking about? Well, as soon

as I find this videotape, you gonna use
your left to pay me. You believe that?

Actually, you're both incorrect.

Muhammad Ali was not the pugilist that
delivered the infamous phantom punch.

What the hell you say, man?

Yeah, George, you're talking crazy, man.
Everybody know Ali beat Sonny Liston

with the phantom punch. Now, I know my
history.

And... I just found a tape.

If you're so familiar with history, you
would know that at that time, Muhammad

Ali was known as Cassius Marcellus Clay.
It wasn't until after that fight that

said Mr.

Clay became said Mr.

Ali. Frank, you own me, man. What are
you talking about? We betting on the

-right thing, not the slave name thing.

Yeah, baby, what's up?

Frank, who are these people, and what is
going on here?

These are my friends, Dee.

Bernie, my brother, grew up with me. You
met him at the wedding.

Hey, Dee Dee.

And then George, the brother who froze
on Jeopardy.

And then this is... That's Bernie's
friend. No, no, big brother, I don't

him, man.

I thought he was with George, man.

I never laid eyes on him before tonight.
I assumed you knew him, Frank.

Howdy.

Frank, can I talk with you in the living
room, please?

Yeah. Look, I'll be right back. Hold on.
We're going to let you get through with

me. We're out here, man.

Yeah,

babe, what's up?

Frank. You have been out three nights in
a row this week. I don't know what's

going on here, but I know I don't like
it. What do you mean don't like it,

I'm at home in my own house with my
friend. You were supposed to be at home

your own bed with your wife.

Tonight was a good temperature night.

Really? And I thought it was chilly
outside.

Yeah.

Frank, I can dole out... the vitamins. I
can make the doctor's appointments. I

can chart the charts. But I cannot make
a baby by myself. If I could, we

wouldn't be having this conversation.
Look, this let's have a baby thing is

turning into a job, baby.

Eat this.

Don't wear that. Chart this. I'm
starting to feel like I'm in the army.

Shoot, I do more by 9 a .m. than most
men do all day.

It's just not fun anymore.

If you are not serious about having a
baby, I sure wish you would tell me

because it's not fun for me either.

Yeah,

there you go.

There you go.

I didn't know C .O .D. meant cutie on
delivery.

Brother, please. It is too early.

Then what time to get off?

We're inflatable friends inside there,
my man.

What you doing here this early in the
morning, Bernie? Just about to take

pictures of the bruises.

This kid's never going to be a trial.

Oh, you're very funny this morning. You
know I feel funny.

Yes, put those on the table.

Morning, baby. Morning.

Morning, Dee Dee.

Morning. Listen, Dee, I apologized about
last night, so I brought you a little

peace offering.

Oh, how thoughtful.

And my favorites, how'd you know?

Well, you know, Dee, listen, I pay
attention.

Thank you. Mm -hmm.

And since when did you become so
thoughtful?

When I passed the vase in the living
room.

Mitchell. Morning. Kim, what are you
doing here? Well, you know, since Moe is

gone, I thought I'd do the Christian
thing and stop by and help out.

Translation. She's here to hit on
Hakeem.

Miles, this came for you.

Oh, my abracadabra magic kit.

Excuse me, young man, but where are you
going? You haven't even had your

breakfast yet. I have to practice if I'm
going to sell Moe in half.

Good morning, my overextended family.
Hey, Hakeem.

Oh, Hucklefest.

All dressed up and...

Aliesta.

Ain't the hungry boy from next door
wearing clothes from the 99 cent store?

I was just funny with you old school.

I'm about to whoop your butt preschool.

Anyway, what's for breakfast, Mr. Mitch?
I'm starving.

Morning, Kimmy.

Did I say I was starving?

I meant fasting.

I love that girl, man. She keep away the
freeloaders, man.

Blackened bacon and egg.

Never had Cajun breakfast before.

I don't think I'm going to starve now.

I'm going to see you later, man, all
right? Yeah, all right.

Diddy, I love you, baby.

All right, Dee.

Talk to me.

Oh, you want to talk to me?

Bernie and George must be very busy.

Babe, why are you doing this? I mean, I
can't go out with the guys once in a

while. Once in a while?

The Clippers win a game once in a while.

Frank, it's getting so... I don't know
whether you're going to be here or not.

Oh, Dee, you're being ridiculous, baby.
I tell you when I go out. Oh, oh, you

tell me. Well, Frank, that is not how
marriage works. Oh, no? Well, then how

does it work?

asking. Why?

I mean, it's not like you can exactly
tell me no.

Frank, you just don't get it, do you?

See? Do you see?

I wasn't even going out tonight.

But you think I'm going to stay here
with that attitude?

Think again, baby.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Deborah, kid.

Deborah.

Have you seen my keys?

Oh, yeah, they're right here.

Watch this. Now you see them?

Now you don't. Oh, that's great, son.
Now give me my keys.

You have to say the magic word.

How about punishment?

Nah, close enough.

Nice dress, baby.

Look, if you're trying to keep me home
tonight, it sure is working.

Well, you can stay at home if you like,
but I won't be here.

Then where are you going, woman?

I'm going out with Giselle and Andel,
man.

Oh, excuse me, caveman.

No, no, no, I'm not sure I approve.

And I'm sure I don't care.

Who's going to take care of Miles?

Babysitters are us.

Somebody left a key in the door.

Just call me, Houdini.

Hakeem, you are in charge, and bedtime
is in exactly one hour.

Got you, Mrs. Mitch.

Good night, Miles.

Oh, and Frank, don't wait up for me.

Ciao.

What's that, boy?

Cool. I know. Now go to bed.

Come on, make one more thing disappear.

Look, look, look. This is how it is,
okay?

You have to go to bed because I have a
little bit of honey coming over, all

right? Why didn't you just tell her,
brother?

I'll work with you if the price is
right.

No deal, short chance.

Look, here's the quarter. Go to bed.

Welcome to my... Are we alone?

Oh, look, the North Star.

Where? Right there.

Hakeem, open up this door. Go away, Kim.

Long live the honeyhumber.

Bye, brother.

Look, girl, I said get off this cold
porch and come into the house.

Hakeem, were you expecting someone else?

No, no, but hurry up and get in. It's a
full moon out there.

now that you're here.

You are so sweet.

I can be much sweeter.

Cold beverage, anyone?

was too anxious. There'll be so many
city workers over here, the lawyers and

doctors will never get through.

I'm not worried about that. I'm married.

Your husband's a car salesman, right? Uh
-huh. You were probably bouncing around

like that when you met him.

And what is it that your man does again?

Oh, I forgot.

You don't have one.

at 2 o 'clock. Okay, avoid eye contact
and try not to act like you got a bus

pass.

What's your name?

Unavailable. Say, how about I call you
Anna for short?

What's your sign, girl?

Dollar.

You know, that is my song. Would you
like to dance?

I'd love to.

Well,

It's too late.

But this is my favorite song.

Would you like to dance? He can't.

Plus, he's married.

Oh, and your wife let you come out?

Yeah, well, she's very confident. She
knows I'm not going to do anything.

I'll see you around.

You can see me from now till breakfast.

bag on his head.

Oh, yeah.

Well, too bad that's the last of the
pictures.

Uh -uh, I got you on tape at my seven
-year -old birthday party.

See, we was playing pin the tail on the
donkey, and he tried to pin it on me.

I can't do it justice.

You just gonna have to see it for
yourself, girl.

Look, Nikki, why don't you set up the
VCR rope, and I'll pop the popcorn.

Oh, thank you for inviting me, Katie.
I'm having so much fun.

Hakeem, I'm having a really good time
tonight.

You are? Yes, and because of you, I've
gotten to know Kim better, and I think

we're going to become really good
friends.

Thank you very much for the dance.

Back up, brother.

I'm next.

You know, I've been dancing all evening
long, and I'm a little bit tired, so I'm

going to sit this one out.

Great. I'll sit with you.

Waitress, another round for the ladies,
please.

Oh,

I would buy you a drink, but you look
like 90s women.

Just remember I'm still married.

Now that's what I like about you.

No games, no pressure.

Believe it or not, every now and then a
guy just wants to come out, dance, and

have some fun.

Good night.

No pressure.

No way, girl. He's all game.

And the pressure will start five seconds
after you slurred your first word.

Well, you know the good thing about
being married?

I don't care. That's right.

I'm going to go check on Miles.

Mr.

I'm married.

This is my friend Tony. Oh, baby, your
last name must be tight.

It's man.

For the pleasure of meeting you has no
equal.

Thanks, but I'm Hawaiian.

Well, then, uh... Aloha.

So, Melba tells me you're happily
married.

That's right. In the 90s. In L .A.?
What's your secret?

Love, respect, trust.

In Miami?

In L .A.? Does your mother have any more
at home like you?

I'm still at home.

Speaking of home, I'm sorry. I have to
call and check on my son.

What'd I tell you?

Check on your son. How sweet is that?

Oh, here.

Use my stuff. Oh, no, no, no. I can just
go. No.

I am sorry.

Well, uh, since you insist.

Is it, uh, three of diamonds? That's it.
You're great, Ma. Go on, Ma. Yeah, Ma.

Go on. Go on to bed, Ma. Go on.

Hey! Quack, quack.

Yo,

Dad, my time. Talk to me.

Hakeem, when you answer the phone, say
hello.

Peace to children, Mrs. Mitch.

Everything okay?

Yeah, yeah. Everything is righteous.
Just like that old school music you bump

into.

Hold on, Mrs. Mitch.

I'm going to try that hello thing you
suggested.

Okay.

Hello, you're down my time. Talk to me.

Don't answer my phone like that.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, man. Yeah, everything is boss,
just like that.

Hey, Mr. Mitch.

Now, you're not going to believe this,
but I'm on the other line with Mrs.

Mitch, and she listens to that same
tired song that you listen to.

Dang.

Well, girl, Charisse is in the car, and
we road trip down here for a party. Ooh,

a party? Ooh, I know I'm going. You want
to go? Yeah, there's nothing happening

here.

Time out, time out, time out.

What about me?

Oh, boo -boo, you babysitting.

But you're his sister.

But you're the one...

Come here often.

I don't mess around with married men.

Oh, but I mess around with married
women.

Dance? Okay.

Baby, I'm sorry for the way that I've
been acting.

I mean, I've just been under a whole lot
of pressure, especially since we

decided to try to make this baby and
everything.

There's no pressure.

It's just you and me.

Whatever happens, happens.

Well,

I'm no Al Roker, but I'd say it's going
to be a good temperature night tonight.

If only for one night.

Man, I've got to leave town more often.

Dad and Dee have been locked up in their
room all day.

I'm not sure if they even know I'm back.

I saw a little college life, and the
cuties look real good.

But best of all, I found an effective
way to combat America's most common

household pest.

Buckethead little brother.