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Well, it's time for that annual rite of
passage for high school juniors
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everywhere. The dreaded SAT, better
known as the Scholastic Aptitude Test.
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00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:14,280
This one examination will determine
which college you'll get into, which
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00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,940
determines what kind of job you'll get,
which determines how much money you'll
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00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:21,280
make, which determines who you'll marry,
which determines what your kids will
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look like.
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Guess every time you see an ugly kid,
you know somebody didn't study.
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To help us conquer this beast, Andale
turned the den into a SAT study zone.
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00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:35,100
Every day between 3 and 6, a small but
dedicated group of Crenshaw scholars
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00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:37,580
gathered in the pursuit of academic
excellence.
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00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:42,580
That is, until word got out that Terry
Hightower, the star forward for our
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00:00:42,580 --> 00:00:44,700
Crenshaw Cougars, was a member of our
group.
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00:00:44,980 --> 00:00:48,060
Now we're a very large group of
dedicated Jewelers.
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Is it possible to know more than you
need to know?
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Kim, you need to learn everything you
can to get into a good school. Yeah,
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What college do you want to go to?
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Field.
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Field?
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00:01:41,780 --> 00:01:43,380
Fashion, and so too, a la mer.
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00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:50,020
You don't need the SATs to enroll there.
All you need is $39 .95 and a sewing
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kit.
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00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,040
Terry, are you okay?
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Not really.
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00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:55,500
The test made me nervous.
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Alas, this isn't even the real deal. You
know, this is the practice.
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No, it is. It hooked me up with some
practice answers.
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Joaquin, the whole purpose of this test
is to recreate the... Niecy, what are
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you doing?
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Best I can.
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00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,460
All right, crew, time's up. Let's see
who's going to a campus or who's going
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Camp Pendleton.
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00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,380
Yes. Can I talk to you for a second? Oh,
sure, sir.
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What's up?
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Look, Moe, it's about the SAT.
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00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:58,420
I don't do well on big tests. I freeze
up.
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00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,800
Look, if you don't do good this time,
you can always take it the next time.
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00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,580
a senior, Moe. This is next time.
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If I don't break 1050, Timber's going to
prop 48 my scholarship away.
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00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:12,500
Look, you will be fine. You've been
studying hard. You just need to relax.
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00:03:12,740 --> 00:03:14,580
I need you to take this test for me.
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00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:17,800
I don't know what you said way up there,
but by the time it got down here, it
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sounded like complete madness.
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I'll do this for you, Mom.
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Setting aside the ethical and legal
ramifications of your request, a lot of
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reasons come to mind why no one will
mistake me for you. I mean, there's
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there's gender, and only I can go left,
too.
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00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,700
No problem. I'm scheduled to take the
test in a valley.
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Nobody knows who I am.
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But I would know.
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Know, Terry.
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All right.
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00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,120
Be like that.
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me to cheat.
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On Q?
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00:03:56,700 --> 00:04:00,180
No, on the SATs. He wants me to take his
test for him.
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00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:02,180
Oh, girl, that means he likes you.
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00:04:03,340 --> 00:04:04,980
He's cheating and it's not fair.
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00:04:05,420 --> 00:04:07,540
Oh, lighten up, Mo. It's not all that
bad.
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00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,220
It's more like, like substituting.
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00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:15,340
I don't believe you guys. We all bust
our butts while Mr. Hoop dreams expects
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free ride.
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You know what?
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Mo's got a point. You should charge him.
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00:04:45,610 --> 00:04:46,609
Frank's baby plants.
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Plants? I thought that was your baby.
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Very funny.
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00:04:52,570 --> 00:04:57,410
Oh, so what's the holdup? Frank Swimmer
scared of the water?
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00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:58,730
Angela?
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00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:03,790
All right. I'll be more diplomatic. Does
he have a low sperm count?
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00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:05,070
Oh!
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I just wish there was some sort of a
home test for this.
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Oh, darling, you are the home test.
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We'll leave you two alone.
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And remember, be positive now, because
the man is half...
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00:05:58,830 --> 00:06:01,650
and she said that you canceled your
appointment again.
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00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:04,430
Yeah, I already had my checkup. And now
you need to be tested.
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Dee, there's nothing wrong with me.
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00:06:06,310 --> 00:06:08,670
Honey, there's nothing to be afraid of.
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Frank, this test is not about your
manhood.
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00:06:12,070 --> 00:06:13,750
Good. Then you take the test.
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00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,290
If I could take the test, Frank, I
would.
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00:06:20,710 --> 00:06:26,890
Because there is nothing that I wouldn't
do to get pregnant with your baby.
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And make you happy.
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Okay, Dee, I'll go and make another
appointment.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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00:06:37,740 --> 00:06:40,920
You told your friends about this, didn't
you?
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Of course not.
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Hello?
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00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:50,020
No, you've got the wrong number.
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00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:51,900
Yes, you do, Angela. Goodbye.
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00:07:12,810 --> 00:07:13,810
Excuse me, miss.
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00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:15,410
I'm here to take a test.
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We give over 300 different tests. Do you
want a specific test or do you want
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00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:21,910
them all?
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Come on.
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00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:26,490
I'm here to take, you know, the test.
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00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:28,750
Oh, I understand.
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00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,890
You're here for the sperm count test.
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00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:38,150
Here. Sit over there, fill these out,
and keep your trap shut.
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00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,840
That's some pretty provocative reading
you got there.
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00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:52,380
It's stimulating.
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I tried provocative twice.
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Now I'm a two -time loser.
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00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:01,140
This time, I'm stacking the deck.
105
00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:08,200
Look, if I might make a suggestion, why
don't you just think about your wife and
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00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,680
about all those passionate times that
you had with her?
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This is my wife.
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Come on, man. I got to go in there, too.
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See what I mean?
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Never think about your wife.
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Better you speak for yourself.
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Bam!
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Wow.
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Oh,
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yeah, that's me.
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Say, buddy, could I take her in there
with me?
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Hey, come on, man.
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Thanks, pal.
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Mitchell?
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00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:04,220
Here, take this.
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00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:06,660
Go in there.
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00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:08,660
In there?
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00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:09,319
That's right.
124
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,620
In the same direction that I am pointing
my finger.
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00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:16,050
Now, do you need any specific
instructions on what to do while you're
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00:09:16,370 --> 00:09:18,430
No, I think I can handle it from here.
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00:09:20,890 --> 00:09:22,890
Although I am curious about one thing.
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00:09:23,790 --> 00:09:24,890
What was your account?
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00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:31,730
Yo,
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00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:37,770
word is that Terry knocked the S -A -T
out the B -O -X.
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00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:39,540
Our homeboy broke 1 ,200.
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00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,920
Yes, I knew he could do it if he just
relaxed.
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After getting 653 times, he was more
than relaxed, boo -boo. He was in a
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00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,500
Or, uh, at home while Mo took the test
for him.
135
00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:54,760
Now, why would I do something stupid
like that?
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Three reasons. Finding bonus courtside
seats and community property.
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Hello.
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00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,900
Ooh, ooh, and Dale, and Dale, you still
giving away free smoothies to anybody
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00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:04,900
with a SAT receipt?
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00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:06,100
Yes, I am.
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00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:09,120
We'll make mine a banana berry boom and
a heavy on the boom.
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00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,580
Boy, I'm going to boom you upside your
head. This is the third receipt you done
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brought up in here.
144
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:18,080
Well, don't hate me because I'm an
overachiever.
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00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:25,960
Hey, congratulations, player. I heard
Moe aced that SAT thing for you. Man,
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does everybody think Moe took the test
for me?
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22nd time now, homie.
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00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:31,920
Who else think I cheated for you?
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Other than the principal.
150
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,560
The principal? Now, who would tell him
that?
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00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,140
I just go in there to use the phone.
152
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:49,600
Can't. Sorry.
153
00:10:54,880 --> 00:11:00,000
I don't know, Raul. I mean, the tech
could always come back low and... Hold
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00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,000
right there, Frank.
155
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,840
There's nothing wrong with you.
156
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,320
You're a man, aren't you?
157
00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:12,780
Well, well, yeah, but I mean... No well
yeah about it, so it can't be you. And
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here's why.
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00:11:13,780 --> 00:11:15,660
When women pass 30...
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There's a lot they can't do anymore.
161
00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:20,580
I mean, how old is Dee?
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00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,220
Uh, she's 39.
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00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:23,540
My point exactly.
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00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,380
With that kind of mileage, she probably
needs a whole new engine.
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00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:27,660
Oh, wait a minute.
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00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:31,360
Okay, okay, but you know what I'm
driving at.
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00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,900
On the other hand, how old are you?
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00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:35,380
39. See?
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00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:37,260
You're a young man.
170
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,940
You got your whole life ahead of you.
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00:11:41,340 --> 00:11:42,680
Yeah, that is true. That is true.
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00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:44,140
I don't know.
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00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:48,870
All I'm worried about... Listen, Frank,
a man can be half -dead and still father
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a child.
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00:11:49,630 --> 00:11:50,690
Look at Anthony Quinn.
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00:11:51,050 --> 00:11:54,410
Well, yeah, but I don't... Then there's
Tony Randall. The guy's 76, and he's
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00:11:54,410 --> 00:11:55,410
having a kid.
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00:11:55,630 --> 00:11:57,430
Felix Unger? Yeah, I know.
179
00:11:58,110 --> 00:11:59,590
But, you know, we don't want to go
there.
180
00:12:02,110 --> 00:12:06,470
Look, Frank, stop worrying about this
baby thing.
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Hakuna Matata.
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What does that mean?
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If you could have kids, you would know.
184
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,400
We have two kids, Raul.
185
00:12:19,420 --> 00:12:20,420
Hey, honey.
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00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,379
Hi, Vic.
187
00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:22,380
Hey, Raul.
188
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:23,920
Hey, Vic. You're looking good.
189
00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:27,120
Frank, you didn't tell me you were
married to a 25 -year -old.
190
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,480
Hello?
191
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,720
Oh, hi, Beverly.
192
00:12:32,580 --> 00:12:34,160
Did you get my test results back?
193
00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:35,440
So how'd we do? How'd we do?
194
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:38,540
Well, why not?
195
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,360
Yeah, he's right here.
196
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:45,680
It's for you.
197
00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:48,870
What did she say? Oh, some nonsense
about doctor -patient privilege.
198
00:12:49,470 --> 00:12:51,330
What about girlfriend -to -girlfriend
privilege?
199
00:12:54,470 --> 00:12:56,910
Raul, you mind? I have to talk to the
doctor.
200
00:12:57,450 --> 00:13:00,090
Hey, you gotta let me know the results.
You owe me that.
201
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:03,949
All right.
202
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,190
I'll see you tomorrow at work.
203
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:08,070
But don't forget, you're a man.
204
00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:09,690
Hakuna Matata.
205
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:12,850
Yeah, Hakuna goodbye -bye.
206
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,240
Yeah, yeah. Hi, Bev.
207
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:20,280
Uh -huh.
208
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:21,900
Uh -huh.
209
00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:23,740
Uh -huh.
210
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:25,460
Sure, sure.
211
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:27,300
Yeah, yeah, thanks for calling.
212
00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:29,560
I appreciate it. Yeah, you too.
213
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,420
So what'd she say, Frank?
214
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,780
She said I should get a second opinion.
215
00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:38,260
From a man doctor.
216
00:13:49,610 --> 00:13:50,610
There you go.
217
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:51,990
A bill?
218
00:13:52,510 --> 00:13:53,509
What's this for?
219
00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:57,490
For claiming a smoothie under false
pretenses. Cheating never pays, but
220
00:13:57,490 --> 00:13:58,309
always do.
221
00:13:58,310 --> 00:13:59,390
Andel, I didn't cheat.
222
00:14:00,410 --> 00:14:02,170
Terry, how you doing?
223
00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:06,329
Not good.
224
00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:07,450
Everyone thinks I cheated.
225
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,310
They want me to take that test over
again.
226
00:14:10,570 --> 00:14:11,570
For real?
227
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:12,850
That's not fair.
228
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:14,209
Doesn't matter.
229
00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:15,470
I just go play ball in Italy.
230
00:14:15,870 --> 00:14:17,470
Italy? Why Italy?
231
00:14:18,330 --> 00:14:22,770
$500 ,000 a year, my own villa, and all
the Armani Pat Riley doesn't buy.
232
00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:27,730
But you'll be in a foreign country. You
wouldn't understand the language.
233
00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:29,310
Okay,
234
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:32,330
Pavarotti.
235
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:36,990
There's no sense in me giving you the
usual speech about getting an education
236
00:14:36,990 --> 00:14:38,390
you can have something to fall back on.
237
00:14:39,180 --> 00:14:42,140
500 ,000 a year, you can pay somebody to
go to college for you.
238
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:47,180
Besides, in Italy, you'll be far enough
away where you won't hear the vicious
239
00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:51,680
whispers of how you cheated, how you
couldn't cut it, or how you ran away
240
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:52,800
your tail between your legs.
241
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,660
I don't care what they say. I'll pass
that test. Then pass it again.
242
00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:57,940
It's too much pressure.
243
00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:02,700
Pressure? Boy, I saw you at the city
finals. One second left on the clock.
244
00:15:03,060 --> 00:15:06,780
Crenshaw was down by two, and you hit
three free throws. Now that is pressure.
245
00:15:07,060 --> 00:15:08,060
It's not the same.
246
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:09,580
I'm out there on the court.
247
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:10,860
I'm at home.
248
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:13,980
She put a test in front of me, and I
choked like a New York Knicks.
249
00:15:15,820 --> 00:15:17,480
Well, you didn't choke the last time.
250
00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:18,740
It was a good day.
251
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:22,280
Well, just take the test.
252
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,240
No, I'm going to Italy.
253
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:26,960
I've got an idea.
254
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,040
You gotta promise me you won't go to
Italy, make a million dollars, and wear
255
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,160
Armani for a couple of days.
256
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:34,920
You promise?
257
00:15:35,180 --> 00:15:36,180
Te lo prometo.
258
00:15:38,060 --> 00:15:40,140
I hope that's a yes and I kiss my
Adidas.
259
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:42,579
Okay, Terry.
260
00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:45,560
This exam comes in two halves, math and
verbal.
261
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:50,920
There's no shot clock, no timeouts, and
absolutely no substitutions.
262
00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:52,420
Do you have any questions?
263
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:53,880
Let's do this.
264
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:58,960
Terry, you're going up against a team
with the best front line in the league,
265
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:03,740
tension and trepidation. In the
backcourt, they've got that dazzling duo
266
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:07,300
confusion and doubt. And in the hall,
they've got big pop of time.
267
00:17:07,630 --> 00:17:11,290
Now, he plays from tip -off to the final
buzzer, and even then, he doesn't quit.
268
00:17:13,210 --> 00:17:14,210
All right.
269
00:17:14,369 --> 00:17:15,369
Represent.
270
00:17:17,589 --> 00:17:18,589
You ready?
271
00:17:20,230 --> 00:17:21,230
Begin.
272
00:17:31,490 --> 00:17:33,570
Jerry, hands up. I did it, y 'all.
273
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:37,960
They're excited for you.
274
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,740
They're just holding it inside.
275
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:47,140
Oh, yeah, he's at his little man doctor
right now.
276
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:49,840
I don't care if he is seeing Dr.
277
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,220
Seuss, Angela.
278
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:57,220
All I care about is that when he comes
home, he is ready to take the next step.
279
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,980
Look, I gotta go. I'll call you later.
The doorbell.
280
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,360
Yeah, it's a real doorbell.
281
00:18:07,470 --> 00:18:08,189
Come on in.
282
00:18:08,190 --> 00:18:09,390
Hi, Ms. Mitchell. Is Moe here?
283
00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:10,689
Sure is.
284
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:11,690
I'll go get her.
285
00:18:12,870 --> 00:18:14,070
Moe, Terry's here.
286
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:17,750
Hi, Terry.
287
00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:19,170
What's up, what's up?
288
00:18:19,810 --> 00:18:23,770
Oh, Ms. Mitchell. I want you to hear
about this, too. Oh, my God, you heard.
289
00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:26,150
you couldn't have heard. Just tell me.
No, don't tell me.
290
00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:29,890
Moe, will you let him speak, please? I'm
sorry.
291
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:31,390
What'd you get?
292
00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:35,630
Thanks to Coach Moe here. SAT now stands
for slam dunk another time.
293
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,040
A bucket of 12 .30.
294
00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:45,240
Really? That's 20 points higher than the
first time. 22.
295
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:50,300
I am so proud of you, Terry. I knew you
could do it.
296
00:18:50,860 --> 00:18:52,120
Thanks. Come on, let's go tell
everybody.
297
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,200
Better idea. Why don't we tell Ken? That
way he won't miss anybody.
298
00:18:56,340 --> 00:18:57,460
Hi, Daddy. Bye, Daddy.
299
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,420
So, Frank, what'd they say?
300
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,100
Well, Dee, I don't quite know how to say
this.
301
00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:17,940
nothing was wrong with me.
302
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,700
Then what's wrong with us?
303
00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:24,060
Why aren't we pregnant yet?
304
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:28,540
Dee, there's nothing wrong with us. Now,
I talked to the doctor. He said we're
305
00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:30,560
just worrying too much about having this
baby.
306
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,860
Well, who wouldn't worry? Frank, we've
been trying for five months.
307
00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:37,540
Do you remember when we were on our
honeymoon?
308
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,600
Yeah.
309
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,300
Locked up in our room for four days
straight.
310
00:19:50,610 --> 00:19:55,450
So what you're saying is all we have to
do is start acting like honeymooners
311
00:19:55,450 --> 00:19:56,550
again. Exactly.
312
00:19:57,210 --> 00:20:03,090
Or as a very wise man once said, Hakuna
Matata, baby.
313
00:20:22,670 --> 00:20:25,370
feel good about convincing Terry to take
his SAT over.
314
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:28,410
Next fall, he'll be a freshman at Temple
University.
315
00:20:29,130 --> 00:20:33,390
I also feel good about discovering you
can make $500 ,000 a year playing ball
316
00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:36,710
Italy, especially since I heard they
were starting a women's league soon.
317
00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:41,030
So Terry agreed to teach me a jump shot,
just so I have a little something to
318
00:20:41,030 --> 00:20:43,490
fall back on in case my writing career
doesn't pan out.
24224
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