Original subtitles

Space, the final frontier.

What boys who think they're men say they need when they're afraid you're getting

too close.

Q's new mission?

To explore new relationships with new girls from new neighborhoods.

To boldly ask me to chill after I'd made time to see him whenever he wanted me

to. I just don't get it. It's like a space maggot ate through his brain or

something.

I wish Q were more like Mr. Spock, because then he'd know that the logical

to do is...

Stick with me.

Down, sleepyhead.

Uh, Dee, you have to get some actual sleep to be a sleepyhead, which I

definitely did not.

And what kept you awake?

You. Should, uh, we be hearing this?

I'm surprised you didn't.

Baby, Dee was snoring all night long.

That's ridiculous. I don't snore.

Uh, Dee, you remember that great train wreck in the movie The Fugitive? The one

that had our ears blown out? Mm -hmm. I'm sleeping with it now.

I meant the movie.

Good morning, Corley, y 'all.

What's wrong with you?

I didn't get no sleep last night.

See? Even Hakeem heard her.

Heard what?

That Frank wants you to have his plate this morning.

Felt like somebody was just watching me all night. Could have been that Coolio

poster in your room.

So, Hakeem, did you get your basket for the bachelor auction?

Why, you want to know?

Just curious, trying to make conversation.

You're trying to get Kim all in my basket business so she can bid on me.

it's not going to happen.

Somebody bid on him?

Yeah. See, the guys make the baskets that include the dates and the girls bid

them. All the money goes to the prom.

Girls are paying to go over guys?

How do I get in on this?

The only thing that you are getting on is the yellow school bus.

Come on, young man.

Well, I guess I might as well go to work so I can get me some sleep.

Come on, Hakeem, let's go get our school on. Shoot, I'm going to get my sleep

on. See you at the third period.

Girl, I thought they would never leave.

Kim, what is that?

Research. I'm sifting through Hakeem's trash so I can figure out what he put in

his pants.

You're scaring me, Kim.

Hey, well, you can tell a lot about a brother by going to his friend.

And even more about the sister who goes to him.

Ooh, Hershey Topic, 3 o 'clock.

Yeah, I'm still in mourning.

I'm not trying to get into another real fine man.

I came home, Mom.

No, baby, you were blinded by the glare of Hugh's slick head.

That's Armin. He's in the auction, and he could be yours for your lunch money.

Did you finish?

No.

All right, look.

Now, I didn't get the bachelor's names, all right? But I got what's in the

basket and a description of the guys who made it. Oh, I know my Kimmy's when I

see it. Yeah, it'd be the one that's been eaten out of.

The first bachelor describes himself as tall, dark, and fine.

He's a junior who loves sports. His favorite movie is The Nutty Professor.

Oh, that's got to be Mykini. I like that movie, too.

Whatever. The next bachelor describes himself as tall, dark, and fine.

Loves sports.

Favorite movie... Wait a minute. They all say the same thing.

Uh -uh. No, they don't.

that, you know, 17 -year -old boys have no imagination?

Nice.

I don't need this pressure.

Now what are we going to do? Oh, I know what you're going to do. You're going to

call up Taylor and apologize for taking a man.

Why don't I do with my man?

Look, if you want our man to be your man, you better talk to Taylor, woman.

Frank, what's this for?

This is to save our marriage, Dee.

I assume the diamonds are inside.

Come on, Dee, I'm serious.

Now, this thing is called a snore zapper.

Oh, I don't like the sound of that.

Yeah, well, I don't like the sounds I've been hearing either. Now, pay

attention.

Now, inside of here is a highly sensitive microphone that emits a very

electrical reminder every time you snore. Now, just watch, all right? Now,

snore. I don't snore.

Frank. Fine, Dee, I'll do it.

Ow!

Frank, that shocked me. Yeah, yeah, it's working.

Excuse me?

No, no, no, see, every time you feel that little tingle... It is not a

Frank.

Just trying to stay with me, Dee. All right, every time you feel that tingle,

makes you roll over to a more comfortable position where you don't

can get some sleep.

Ow! No, no, no, that way.

Wait a minute. It must be connected to the doorbell.

It'll take a load off.

I'm warning you. If I'm not home safely in ten minutes, the pep squad will be

storming your house.

You're so funny.

You got nine minutes.

Okay, I think they're dry now.

Tawny Toph is your color girl.

Don't you just love him?

Felicia, what's this about?

What's what about?

The pedicure, the manicure, the scalp massage.

All I need now is a facial.

I've got those towels warming up, girl.

Oh, you mean, what's this about?

Well, Taylor, I think it's time that we bury the hatchet. No, it's time you bury

the bull.

I need the names and corresponding baskets for the auction.

Why are you so interested? I thought you were dating W.

That's cute, and I dumped him.

That's not what I heard. What a boo.

What a cute bag.

Thank you. No, I really think it's cute.

I wish I had one.

Here, now give me the names.

matching necklace.

Girl, you do have good taste.

I hope you're not allergic to Swap Me Jewelry.

All right, ladies. Paint your lips and powder your noses. It's time to buy some

meat.

that no one over 18 be allowed to bid.

Okay, but it's for my niece. She couldn't be here today.

Paddle, please.

Play it, hater.

Now, our first bachelor is number one in your program.

He's a six -foot -two junior who describes himself as a young Denzel

Girl, that must be Daryl Peterson.

Hold on to your pocket change, ladies. That's DeJuan Evans. He's five -foot...

three and he's been left back twice okay

just to get you into the flow

we'll start the bidding off at 50 cents

Give me a job.

Oh, my God, there's Armin. How do I look, girl?

Anxious. Guys like it when you play hard to get. Well, I'll bet everybody by $20

I think he knows I'm anxious.

Kim.

Dang, Mo.

You picked my basket.

What is that? I'm about to go ask Taylor the same question.

that the Kim got Armin and I got Hakeem?

Oops.

I guess I goofed.

That's not a problem. You guys are such good friends. Why don't you just switch?

Yeah, we already did that. I was just letting you know that I know.

Give me my bracelet.

Kim, come on, baby. Let's talk to you.

Let's switch.

No, no, no. Wait a minute, Mo. Let's think about this.

You had enough that we just bought them, now you want to trade them before we

use them?

What about our king?

Who?

Kimmy, the love of your life.

What's love got to do with it?

Our king, you really didn't have to take me to any place fancy.

A record store?

Mosey, you're one of those people who look at the refrigerator halfway empty,

okay? I'll say peep the freezer.

I say peep the bus schedule. I'm going home. No way, Mosey.

Look, we can play video games. Watch a concert. Look, learn the latest dance

steps, okay?

Like Water for Chocolate is your favorite movie?

Yeah.

the part when homegirl was crying into the cake and everybody else who ate the

cake started crying too?

And nobody knew why?

But I did.

It helped her pain.

Wow, Hakeem. I didn't know you could go there.

Girl, I got layers.

Huh? You know it. I didn't eat thinking you were gonna give me dinner.

Courtesy of my mama and the Magic Johnson Theater.

Too bad she didn't get you popcorn.

Butter a plane.

What's this?

Their employee ID tag.

We might have to ask a few questions.

So, uh, the bathroom's over there.

And, uh, no, we don't validate.

You can stay as long as we like.

Let's see if you look at this department of education.

She's crying.

I'm not messing.

Do you see the pain?

Yes.

Hey.

How was your little date?

It was great. I mean, we ate. We went to a movie. We went to a concert in

Brazil.

And where'd you fly?

Air imagination.

You know what? You might want to use them the next time you go shopping.

You know how y 'all do it.

Until I started thinking about my girl.

What girl?

You, Moe.

That's the reason why I wouldn't let him kiss all up on me.

You see, I couldn't take what was rightfully yours.

So why don't you give me old tired Kimmy, and I'll give you your Prince

You want to switch?

Yeah, Moe. I mean, we shouldn't let any type of guy come between us, no matter

how fine, cute, or rich.

He's rich.

Girl, he got snoop money.

We're having a good time.

Now, wait a minute more. I hope you're not getting too comfortable with my man.

Well, he may be your man, but tonight he's my date.

Kim,

I've got to run, but thanks for tonight. I had a great time.

Me too.

See you at prayer meeting?

Oh, uh, yeah, yeah.

Can I borrow a dollar for the bus? I put my last five in the collection plate.

Bless you.

I guess that was the best date you ever prayed for, huh?

So you tried to use your employee discount.

Oh, man. Thank you, Hakeem. I had a lot of fun.

Yeah, yeah. Fun, too.

I'm glad we're friends. We can just hang out, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, Mo, I can be myself around you. Yeah.

Oh, Mo, look. Don't tell anybody about the light water for chocolate thing. Oh.

Ain't nobody gonna believe me anyway.

Well, good night.

Good night.

I gotta go.

Morning.

You first.

Man, that was really weird what happened last night. I know, I know.

I mean, I just like things back to the way they were.

Me too.

You do?

Yeah.

Man, what a relief.

Oh, you too.

I mean, because if we had hooked up sooner or later, I would have messed up.

my food supply would have dried up.

Not to mention our friendship, right?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that too.

Because I wouldn't want anything to jeopardize that.

Oh, yeah, me neither.

Besides, Kim would have killed the both of us.

So what's up with the food?

No,

no, no, Dee, you're going to have to confess it now because I got you.

Dad said he set a trap and he snored right into it.

I didn't snore into anything.

Oh, yes, you did, baby. You're on tape, just like Mary and Barry.

Now, everybody listen to this and tell me this is not de -snoring.

You hear that, baby? That's you.

Frank, you are not going to tell me that that is what is keeping you awake at

night. Honey, you slept through Independence Day.

Excuse me, that's just the prelude, darling.

That's it.

In Dolby stereo and surround sound, the audience is listening.

So, two Saturns.

Mm, Halle Berry.

That's you, Frank.

Well, that solves that mystery. I gotta go to work.

If there's such a thing as a moment of truth, last night on the porch with

Hakeem was one of them.

If we had kept kissing, my whole life would have changed.

Or at least our relationship.

What did change was my impression of Hakeem.

The brother has layers.

I think I made the right decision.

But I'll always wonder, what if?

Well, that's enough wondering for tonight.

Gotta get some sleep. I meet Norman in the morning for Sunday school.