Original subtitles

Hakeem and I have been homies for as long as I can remember.

We were even hanging out back in the day when the only thing little boys and

little girls did together was fight and take afternoon naps.

Kim used to always dog us out at recess, though.

Hakeem and Moesha sitting in the tree.

K -I -S -S -I -N -G.

Now she wishes she could get in that tree with Hakeem.

He still hasn't figured out it's a friendship tree.

Hakeem asked me if I would loan him $20.

See, I normally don't lend people money, but Hakeem is not just people.

Hakeem is my boy.

And besides, if he doesn't pay me back, I'll stick him on it.

It's me.

croquettes, biscuits, and grits. My baby sure know how to burn.

And in the bedroom, too.

Miles might hear you.

Oh, that boy can't hear us?

I heard you last night.

Uh, what did you say, boy?

These biscuits are really light.

Mm -hmm.

Miles, go on until your sister breakfast is ready.

that myself.

Hey, what's up, everybody? Good morning.

Momisha, what are you doing out this time of the morning?

Yeah, you better have a darn good excuse or a wedding ring.

I was just next door looking for Hakeem. He borrowed $20 from me two weeks ago,

and now he's avoiding me like Miles avoids soap and water.

Hey, I take a bath every Saturday, whether I need one or not.

Come over here, Miles. Come on.

Oh, my goodness. You could plant things back there.

Let him wash up. Aw, man.

This time you soaked, dirt boy.

A .T., could you hold Hakeem after your third period class for me? Now, how do

you suggest I do that?

Handcuff, leg irons, share your lunch with the brother. I want my money back.

I'm sure that Hakeem has every intention of paying you back your money. Oh, he

better, because the bank of Moesha don't play.

How much interest you charging, sweetheart?

Come on, Daddy, he's my friend.

I gave him a variable interest rate tied to the 30 -day T -bill. Oh, that's my

girl.

Frank. Yeah, baby?

Happy anniversary.

Anniversary? Mm -hmm.

Dee, we've been married, what, one or two months?

Six, Frank.

Okay, I believe you're six.

Yeah, but I mean, isn't this something that people usually do six months from

now? Okay, you don't like it, I'll take it back. Say thank you, Daddy, so I can

open your gift. Thank you.

An Armani suit. Now, see, this is funky.

This makes up for them coupons you lose driving that Saturn.

Hey, it's funky, all right. Dee, how much did you pay for this suit? Oh,

it's just a token of my love. Dee, this is an Armani suit. We talking two, three

thousand tokens. That's a lot of love, baby.

Now, Frankie, baby, don't you worry your pretty little head about how much it

costs Mama.

Come on, Daddy, try it on. Yeah, all right, all right.

Huh?

What? What? Excuse me, Mr. GQ, but what did you do with my daddy?

Oh, that must be Kim and Niecy. I got to go get my school on. Okay, baby.

See you, D. Have a nice one, baby.

Oh, Frank, you look good.

You look... Stay at home. Don't go to work. Take off that suit.

Good. Oh, come on, Dee. I'm serious, baby. I mean, I could have gone to the

bar and got ten suits and a bag of feed for what you paid for this.

Then why don't you just do that? And the feed, that's what you'll be grazing on

for the next week. Oh, no, no, no, baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Look, it's a

beautiful present.

You're a beautiful wife, and it's been beautiful being married to you. There's

six beautiful... Save it, Frank.

Beautiful.

Were you serious about taking this suit off me?

Hey, Mo, what you know?

Nothing until Hakeem pays me my money. Look, should I hire somebody to break

leg or say the 50 cent and do it myself?

You jumped off that bridge, too?

He borrowed $5 from me last week. He owe me $7 .50 and he borrowed my bus pass,

okay?

chocolate behind.

Because he couldn't afford the balloon payment.

Hey,

Mom.

Handle my business.

What's up, Hakeem? Remember me?

Hey, Mom.

What's up, girl? I've been meaning to get with you.

Well, I'm here now. Where's my money, bro?

Okay, look, look, look, bro. I'm a little short.

So, why don't you take my watch? It's collateral.

You better take this vampire in Brooklyn watch back to Taco Bell. I want my

money, bro.

I mean, relax, Mo. Why you frontin'? I fronted you, all right? And apparently

is everybody else in here. Now, give me my money before I have to embarrass you.

Worse than this?

God, man, you'll get your money, okay?

Huck, I'm not playing. Mo, Mo, wait.

Girlfriend, come here. Let me talk to you.

Moesha Mitchell, what was that about?

Why you humiliate him? He ain't Tina. You definitely ain't Ike.

I don't care. He owes me money.

Never loan what you can't afford to give away.

And, uh, he owes me $20. He needs to pay me. You're right.

But if he doesn't, trust me, your friendship is worth a lot more than $20.

I think you need to apologize to Ike.

Don't you?

Moesha?

Come here.

Look, look, Ma, look. I got three dollars.

Hakeem, I'm not here about the money.

I'm here to apologize.

Look, we've been tight since forever, and I shouldn't have broke on you like

that. I'm sorry.

Okay, thanks. Goodbye.

Hold on, hold on. The arrangements still have to be made, my brother.

Okay, well, could we do this tomorrow in the daytime?

No, we're going to talk about it now.

Look, Hakeem, I am willing to bend over...

Am I interrupting a romantic homework session here?

There's nobody here but me.

Then what's with the mood lighting?

Oh, uh, the power company's been having problems all day.

Our lights are on?

Well, it's a hit and miss thing.

We missed a payment, they hit the off switch.

Well, why didn't you pay the bill?

Because my mom got laid off, okay?

Laid off?

Hakeem, I didn't know.

I feel like such an idiot.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. It's all right.

Hakeem, I told you your mother was welcome to come to dinner, too.

She got a new job working night shift. Oh, that's good.

She won't be getting a paycheck till two weeks. Oh, that's bad.

Yep. So I guess I'll be spending a lot of time with you folks.

That's horrible.

Why don't you get a J -O -B?

Miles, you know better than that.

Didn't I spell it right?

I mean, I've been trying.

I even skipped school the last past couple of days looking for a J -O -B.

But nobody wants to hire M -E.

Well, don't worry about it, Hakeem. We'll do all that we can to help you.

we, Frank? Of course.

Hakeem, just have your mom give me a call.

Our phone's disconnected.

Or a holler.

We'll see what we can work out.

My mom won't take your money. She's too proud.

That's why I've been busting my butt looking for a job.

Well, you ought to bust your butt down there to the mall. I saw Help Wanted

at the Athletic Square.

Hey, hey, I ain't trying to hire no brothers at the mall.

I went down there last Friday and they threw me out. Some kind of gang sweep.

Well, were you dressed like a gangbanger?

No, I had on some fly gear.

Yeah, I had on my Unleash the Dog Pound T -shirt and my free Tupac cap and my,

um, Don't Squeeze the Juice souvenir pin.

What job were you interviewing for?

LAPD target dummy?

Let me throw something different at you, Hakeem.

A suit plus tie equals a job at the athletic square.

Don't say nothing.

Just let it marinate.

All right.

Now, what do you think?

Why do I have to put on a suit and tie to get a job wearing a T -shirt and

sneakers?

No, no, no, no.

I mean, the suit and tie thing is cool for you, Mr. Mitchell.

But it don't work for young brothers like me. You know what I'm saying? I can

dig it, man.

But do you think I was born in this suit?

Man, I used to be a young T -shirt wearing hip cat just like you.

Hip cat.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Go ahead. You can laugh all you want. But see, I got a suit. Got a job and got

the self -respect that goes along with it.

But I guess you're just not the proud type like your mom.

Okay. All right.

I'm going to give it a shot.

Right on, soul brother.

Hey, Mr. Mitchell. Yeah.

Exactly how old are you? Hey,

Ken, tell me what you think of this resume I wrote.

Okay.

Hakeem Campbell.

Chris Shaw High.

Honor student.

Honor student. Maybe honorary.

Girl, will you let me finish? Okay.

Activity. Chess club, feet club, future farmers of America.

Future farmers?

Shoot, I love them, but I ain't living on no farm.

Earth to Kim, this is a resume. It ain't real.

What's up?

Dang, Hakeem, you get dressed in the dark?

Well, yeah.

Hakeem, you were supposed to wear your suit. You are not going to get a job

looking like that. You look like a gangster Urkel.

Well, this is the best I can do.

Besides, my mom's using my suit. She got a new job as an usher over there at the

Magic Johnson Theater.

Just wait right here. Move.

That's okay, Hakeem.

Clothes don't make a man.

Shoot, I'd hire you with nothing on.

a muzzle on your girl. Kim, Kim.

Now, which one of these you like? Ooh, he likes this one because the other one

looked like it busted out of the soup barn.

Dang, Hakeem, you sweating like you stole something.

I can't help it, man.

You better quit, man. You're messing up my daddy's new suit.

I'll be right back.

You know, why are you always playing so hard to get?

I'm not playing.

That makes two of us. Smoke!

Put these on.

Toilet seat covers?

They haven't been used.

That's your work.

Well, you missed a spot. Hey, I ain't sweating right there.

Let's just get this over with, all right? Okay. Hey, can I do this solo?

Yeah, Mo, can we have a private moment?

Come on, fatal attraction.

Good luck, man.

Hey, working here would be the bomb.

Excuse me.

Do you have this in a size five?

I'm sorry, I don't...

Are those for him?

Yes. He's starting peewee basketball.

So, my man, little Spud, you getting $165 air pennies? If they make me.

Oh, I see.

That's your sport, huh?

Excuse me.

We have a nice special sale on the golf shoes.

You might want to point my man in that direction.

Save a few bucks now and him a lot of tears later.

Mr. Campbell?

Mr. Hakeem Campbell?

That's me, President.

I'm not used to being called Mr.

Knucklehead.

Bruh. Put your hands on the car.

But not Mr.

Feels good, though.

Hey.

Are you all right?

Oh, no.

I got it all under control.

Not like his shoes or anything. You got a resume?

Oh, yeah.

Shoot.

Put it down.

Very impressive. You know, I was on my high school chess club, too.

Yeah, yeah, I live for chess.

Which do you prefer, King's opening or the Queen's opening?

I'm rather partial to the U .S. opening.

I'm impressed.

Good sense of humor, nice suit, creative resume.

You know... Most kids come in here with their pants all around their butt,

beepers going off, wearing free Snoop T -shirts and expect me to give them a

job.

Kids today just don't get it.

Right on, soul brother.

Solid.

I only have one question I need to ask you, and I'm quite sure you'll have no

problems with it.

Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Fire away.

Why should I hire you? Because I need a job.

Listen to the question.

Why do I need you?

Why do you need me?

Oh, no. Can I get a hint?

Thank you for coming.

Credenza Jones?

Dee,

you are going to love this.

This is my sixth month I didn't forget anniversary gumbo.

Smells good, Daddy. Oh, you better believe it. Boy, your pops can throw

a kitchen.

Frank, why must you use such a big pot?

Why must you use every pot?

You see, that's where men and women differ, Dee.

See, we men like big food.

And in order to cook big food, you need a big pot.

Or a big grill if you're cooking big meat.

Step aside and let the big man work his magic on this gumbo.

But I sure hope the big man clears up this big mess when he's finished.

No, that's for the little man with the big ears.

Come on, old man, why are you tripping? Whatever, Hakeem.

I mean, it's not my fault I didn't get the job.

It's not like I didn't try. Okay, look, I was on time.

I had my resume.

And I even clowned myself by wearing this stupid suit.

Stupid? Actually, you're looking pretty righteous in that suit, Hakeem.

Why don't they have something like that down at the suit bar? Not unless they

ruffled up a few stray Armanis.

Oh, I knew that was my suit.

Hakeem, what are you doing in Frank's new suit?

Dang, everybody got questions.

I gave it to him, Dee. Oh, well, you guys said he needed a suit.

Plus, you said you would do anything to help. And since Daddy didn't like this

one, I figured it was cool.

Pumpkin, I never said that.

Yes, you did. I heard you with my big ears.

Well, look at it.

Look at it. Just look at it. Look at that stand. Lord, I'll never get it off.

Take it off, man. Take it off. Take it off.

Now you got her island up. Well, I'm sorry, Miss Mitchell. I'll pay you to

clean. You know what? You could do that if you had a job. But no.

you couldn't answer one simple question. Well, it doesn't matter because they

wasn't hiring any brothers anyway.

Geez, you were interviewed by a brother, brother.

Exactly. They already had their quota.

I just didn't know what to say.

You could have said a whole bunch of stuff. You're smart.

You're honest.

You're good with people except Ken.

And not to mention, you know more about sneakers than Bubba knows about shrimp.

I don't know about that. I do.

Mr. Porter, what are you doing here? Your mom said you were here having

Oh, by the way, she said bring her plate and don't forget dessert.

Did she happen to mention anything about a beverage? Sure did.

Red Kool -Aid with a twist.

Look, Hakeem, I just got one question for you.

Oh, man, not again.

I think you should at least hear the question, Hakeem. Yeah, Bubba.

All right, shoot.

Did you sell some shoes while you were waiting to be interviewed?

No, I just talked to a couple people. You did more than talk, because one lady

even bought a pair of golf shoes. And I haven't sold any of those since Tiger

Woods told Jet Magazine he wasn't black.

For real?

For real.

Look, that's all I need to know.

Thank you, everybody.

Good night. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

How you gonna come up in here?

And get a brother all excited like that. You know, like he got a job and just

bone out.

Why should I give you a job?

Why?

Because I'm smart.

And I'm honest.

And I'm good with people.

Except Kim.

And I can sell shoes, man.

Man, I'm one bad shoe selling son. Hakeem, you've made your point.

She's right. Report to work after school on Monday.

For real? For real.

Good night, everyone.

Good night, Mr.

Porter. Yeah, my man.

Way to go, Papa!

You do know you just bought yourself a suit, right?

My man.

Here, you can give me my $20.

You know, it's strange how you can live next

door to someone all your life.

and not have a clue about what's going on inside their house.

I'm just so glad everything worked out for Hakeem.

I mean, he's got a job, self -esteem, and with the installment plan D worked

out, he'll own an Armani suit by the year 2020.

I told him to put the money he owes me towards the first payment.

You know, it's like Angel said, don't lend what you can't afford to give away.

Lizzie McGuire celebrates life as a teenager, where anything and everything

could go wrong. But with the help of her family and friends, everything will be

all right.

Yeah, right.

It's where school, cool, and exciting adventures are just around the corner.

out of three isn't so bad. Get inside her head. Lizzie McGuire.

Weekday afternoons on Superstation WGN.