Original subtitles

It'd be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

It'd be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.

Sorry I'm late, Arthur. Terrible traffic on the A2.

What you need is a drink.

Something with bubbles in it.

Do you bring the plonk?

Jevry shall return scarcely. Plonk?

Napoleon's favourite tipple.

Maybe he had a bottle too many the night before Waterloo, eh?

I had a 69 the other... That is the vintage, my?

Ah, yes, sir. The last bottle.

Oh, we'll have to see about getting them some more then, won't we?

Well, I think I could manage a nice vintage Bollinger.

Bollinger?

Even better. Here you are, sir. Nice and cold. Oh, thank you.

Cheers. Here's to a successful business association.

Absolutely. Cheers.

I think you'll like the 71 I brought you. It's a shade smoother, a touch

than the 69 you had.

Oh, absolutely splendid.

Where is it? It's in the car. You've brought the money with you, haven't you?

Yes, yes.

Saves on the old bookkeeping and VAT, you know.

Keeps the price down, doesn't it?

900.

Cash. Oh, fine.

Well, perhaps your man could start getting it into the cellar.

No, my cellar is rather full at the moment. But I have a business associate

has a little place in town which he hardly ever uses. I have the keys to

place. I haven't had a lunch like that in years.

Well, she told me you got divorced. I could have celebrated sooner.

You expect me to call out all my old boyfriends and say you... Who aren't

divorced? Oh, you could have got a card printed.

The ex -Mrs. Joan Greggs.

At home.

Or away.

Is this it?

Yeah. Still quite unspoiled.

Does your associate live here?

Oh, good heavens, no, no, no. He has a place in the country.

Suffolk, Georgian. No, no, he just uses this as a pieter.

Hello.

Oh, Terence. I thought you were up in Suffolk. Huh?

With Samantha and kids.

Oh, no.

Well, yeah, no, I came down for a couple of days, you know.

Shop early for Christmas.

Terence McCann, my associate.

Clive Stamard. This is the shipment of claret I was telling you about.

You said a couple of crates is enough here for a bleeding army.

Yeah, well, I really must be on my way. There's just a little matter of...

Paying for it.

There we are. Thank you very much.

No, no, no. It's all there. Yeah.

No, no. No need to break up the case.

I brought you a bonus bottle.

Oh. Perhaps your associate would like to try it.

Yeah, sure.

1971, Geoffrey Chamberlain.

Lovely.

Very smooth, dry.

Best results if you chambray it for half an hour at room temperature.

What else?

Are you going straight back to Durban?

No, no, I thought I'd have a night on the town.

I thought I'd try that new hotel, the Bach Show. Oh, very good, very good.

My friend, his manager.

I'll have a word with him, make sure he takes care of you. Thanks very much.

Well, let me know when you want that Bollinger.

Samantha. Got a dodgy chest.

Worked so damp this time of year in Sussex.

Yes. Well, I'll let myself out. Fine. Bye -bye. Goodbye, dear.

You said a couple of crates. Harry, for God's sakes, there's a draft in the

night. Bloody Siberia.

Well, you're in London on business, eh?

That's right, yes.

Just starting the one -night sit?

That's all, yes. You're OK.

Thank you. Nice to see you.

Thanks very much. Have a good evening.

Thank you.

Yes, I'd like an outside line, please.

71 was a wonderful year. Not for me, it wasn't. I was in the scrubs. Still a

touch fruitier.

Yeah, that's probably all the pineapple chunks they put in it.

You enjoy being Philistine, don't you?

It's never even met her.

Oh, dear.

Who's this geezer Stanard, then?

Wine dealer from Dover.

Do you mean they fell off the back of a boat?

Nothing of the sort.

Does he sit on a beach and wait for them to be washed up?

However he gets them, it's a gift, isn't it? At six quid. We can knock them out

at ten and upwards.

We? Well, I thought you'd give me a hand.

Use your contacts in the clubs.

No, I'm sorry, mate. It's not my style.

I couldn't do it with any conviction.

Sorry.

Hello. Ah, ah, yes.

Come in.

Oh, Bettina.

Look, it's a good upmarket line.

And there's plenty more where that came from.

All they've got to do is trample the grapes fast enough.

Where are you going?

Got a beer?

Oh, that plum gives you a terrible thirst.

Cheers. Cheers, love.

We're a bit dressed up, aren't we, for relaxing?

Why don't you go and flip into a dressing gown?

Okay.

I just thought I'd make myself, um, more comfy.

I... Well...

Bottoms up?

Cheers.

Ah.

Duck now, though.

Just a small one, then.

I can tell you're next, Steve. What?

By the way you hold your head.

Oh. By the way, it's 50 quid.

What?

For the massage.

Oh.

Yes, of course.

How's that luxury cafe of yours going?

No, no, no, I've got a new line.

The wine trade.

No, I'm starting off in Clarets.

That's what I was phoning you about, really. I've got a wonderful opening

A 1971 Geoffrey Chamberdin.

Sun and rainfall were perfect that year.

It was the year Boycott made a duck at Lorde.

Geoffrey Chamberdin, as in Boycott.

Prince of your Bordeaux's.

What? No, no, I haven't got a cold.

Bordeaux's.

No, no, George, it's not sparkling.

No, no, George, Claret comes from France.

To you, knock down price.

Six quid a bottle. I can't do it cheaper than that.

Six.

One.

No, no, no, no, no, no. One bottle is six quid.

That... Hello, George?

George?

George?

Why don't you roll over, Clive?

And I'll show you my Japanese technique.

Japanese, eh?

I bet they didn't do this at Pearl Harbour.

What? Never mind.

Oh, it is very relaxing.

That's good.

Oh, you've got a nasty umpire, Clive.

I think you've been working too hard.

Been using your right arm too much, haven't you?

Is that nice and relaxing too?

Didn't you hear the Chancellor on the telly the other night? Talking to the

unions. You want a hedge against inflation?

Sod pay rises, take it in good clarity.

All right.

I thought you'd gone back to Dover.

No, not yet.

I've got a little unfinished business.

Good night, last night?

Oh, quite a night.

Fetch some coffee over, Dave.

You don't look as if you spent the night in your hotel room watching the telly.

No, I didn't watch the telly.

You, um... You called the manager, did you?

Yeah, yeah. Well, the manager was out when I called back. I spoke to the

assistant manager.

Yeah, but you asked him to take care of me.

Yeah, yeah.

Why, was the service not all right?

It was very good.

They sent this tart up to my room, name of Bettina, to give me a massage.

Oh, that is service.

I didn't know the barks you were into that.

A little leaflet was pushed under my door.

I telephoned a number for personal massage.

Oh, naughty, naughty.

And you know the rest, don't you?

What the hell are you talking about? Oh, come on.

She slipped something in my drink, she took my money and my credit cards, and

she even knew to look in my briefcase for the 900 quid. She took all of it?

do you expect? She'd leave a refund for the massage?

Oh, come on, Arthur. Who do you think you're fooling? And you are implying

I am the mastermind behind this grand plan to rip you off?

You knew where I was staying.

You telephoned the assistant manager.

You must be bummed. If you think I... Then how did she know to look in my

briefcase? Oh, come on. You said it was a leaflet. Pure bloody chance you called

that number.

And how do you always like to know you're into personal massage?

I told you I was going to have a night on the town. On the town, yeah, not on

some bird in your hotel room. If you want to have your sacroiliac

that's your business.

Funny, though, isn't it, how you got the wine?

And now the payment's disappeared.

Look, I do not run a fleet of phony masseuses trained to pummel people who

just given money to.

No. But I do not like to see a business associate ripped off.

So you give me this phone number and address, I have contacts.

I'll have this looked into.

Ah, there's the really clever twist. She took the leaflet with her.

Well, how the hell do you expect me to... I do expect you to, Arthur.

Leave it out. What do you think I am?

You know Billy Gresham, don't you?

Yeah.

Not well. I know him well.

Old friend from service days. We still do each other a favour now and then.

He's got some big lads, Arthur. He employs for collection purposes. Now,

I'll wait.

For three days.

Only when you've got the money.

I hate to interrupt your comeback as world champion, but if you've got any

matter left unscrambled... No, I've told you what I think, haven't I?

A bloke can't pull a bird for free. He's got to pay for it, hasn't he?

Especially if he's kinky. Not with 900 nigger of my money. So we've got to try

and find this rip -off, aren't we? Oh, yeah.

And how are we going to do that, eh?

There's got to be 50 poncies working a massage racket in this one alone.

Please.

It's quieter.

I can think.

There's nothing to think about, son.

Your mate deserved it.

He's a berk. Yeah, a berk for those Billy boy Gresham.

Gresham? I've got three days before Billy's collectors get after me.

You didn't tell me he was involved.

Well, I wanted to save you from anxiety, didn't I?

Thanks.

I knew you had an old score to settle.

Settled it.

This way.

I don't sound like you, Terry.

Don't it?

I'm breathing, aren't I?

Try and ask for more.

Wasn't like that, was he?

Anyway, sounds to me like you got the trouble, sunshine.

Ain't even got the birds number.

Yeah, but there can only be one outfit working in that territory.

Hey, I've had an idea.

I don't want to hear it.

This training you're doing, you could use a good massage.

Look, it's not going to work, is it?

If I phone up and ask for Bettina, they're going to smell her out, aren't

I mean, if a geezer gets taken to the cleaners by a bird, he's hardly going to

ask for the same again, is he?

That is the whole point, my son.

Whichever bird they send will have been briefed to play the same trick.

Well, why don't you get hold of your old muck at a manager?

It's his hotel, isn't it?

Let him sort it out.

Two reasons.

A, I don't know him from Adam.

And B, even if I did, he wouldn't have heard about it.

Blokes who use tarts are too shy to talk about it. Even if they get their

trousers whipped.

Oh, God.

Don't you signal, darling.

You make me laugh, you do.

Just because you're trying out a new car, nobody else is allowed on the road.

Look, Terry, who's ever staked you out for a treat like this?

I'm footing the bill, remember?

Legitimate expenses of the wine trade.

50 quid for me.

What for?

Wear and tear.

Will you be paying by cash or by card, Mr McCann?

Oh, cash.

George, room 403 for Mr McCann, please.

No, it's all right, I'll take that.

Anything you need, Mr McCann, just ring.

I will, please.

Are you up in town on business?

Yeah, that's right.

In the wine trade, eh?

How do you know?

There's a lot of them staying here tonight.

A bit late for the tasting, though. It started half an hour ago.

Did it?

Yeah, in the Gloucester room.

All right to some, isn't it? All that free wine.

When you're ready, I'll take you down, if you like.

Show you where it is.

Yeah.

Yeah, cheers.

Splendid buffet.

Very appealing.

Good fun today, 73th.

Yeah, thanks.

Cheers.

Firm, fruity, but still subtle.

Cotard was more senior. Quite. More elegant, somehow.

It's a good meaty burgundy. It's just the thing before your Sunday snooze.

It's cool 75.

Classic here.

Absolutely.

Just look at that collar.

Fine nose on it.

Splendid.

It's a bit fruity for a 75.

Yeah, but subtly fruity.

Yes.

Nicely full -bodied, though. Almost sinewy.

Right. That's better than that 71 down there.

No question.

Here. Biscuit.

I never touch those.

Pure bloody cardboard.

I always carry my own.

Granary.

It's much better for the palate.

Who are you with?

I'm on me own.

I meant, er, which company?

Arthur Daly's.

Now, that's got balance and body.

Meaty.

Arthur Daly's, where are they?

Er, Dover and Brighton, er, mostly south coast outlets, you know.

Yes, I don't know the south.

I'm from Scotland.

Really?

You should try the white burgundies.

They're excellent.

Hello?

Terry, you done it already?

Now, don't tell me you're getting cold feet.

Well, massage is very good for the circulation.

No. No, Terry, that won't work.

If you phone up and ask for the address, they'll think you're the law.

Now, look, dial the bloody number, tell them you want a takeaway massage, catch

a red -eye and leave a lean on her.

No.

Terry, that won't work.

Terry, if I'd known you were a virgin... All right, I'll be waiting.

I've got a nice little girl of Earth's Tremor that'll keep me company.

No, Terry, it is a whine.

Yeah.

I'll be thinking of you.

Hello.

I'm Sandra.

From the Burlington service.

Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah.

Come in.

I'm Terry.

Terry McCann.

Nice room you've got.

Yeah, it's all right, isn't it?

Oh, it should be, what they charge.

Do you want a drink?

You brought some of your wine with you, then?

No, when I'm off duty, I drink whiskey.

Is that all right?

Here.

Just a small one.

Thank you.

Anything with it?

No.

There you go.

Cheers. Cheers.

Oh, I left the shower running. Oh, God.

They said it was 50 quid. Here.

Here you go.

Your company pay for this as well?

Yeah.

Mr Laney, it's expensive.

Do you want another drink?

As your company's paying for it, why don't we...

Yeah.

It's funny.

What's funny?

You don't look the sort.

I mean, the type who has to pay for it.

Thanks.

You don't want anything special, do you?

No, no. Just a regular massage.

You really want the massage first?

Yeah, I'll get stiff all round the shoulders and the neck.

Don't mind if I relax, do you?

No, love.

Do what you like.

After all, you're paying for it. Yeah, right.

Oh, come on, Leslie.

Where are you going to get a chamfered in 71 for less than six quid?

Unless somebody sticks a label on a ketchup bottle.

Look, I am knocking it out at a caterer at the House of Lords for nine quid.

And that is wholesale.

Yeah, but with your clientele, well, if you took three crates, I could let you

have it for, oh, let's say, hello, hello, you've got a cross line there,

someone.

Hang up and try again.

No, no, no, hang up and dial again.

Dial again.

Hello, no, no, I am not the star of India.

No, no, I have not got six stuffed chapatis and a chicken vindaloo to take

Hello, Leslie. Oh, look, bugger you, Boonagosh. Get off my line, will you?

Leslie, Leslie. Oh, hang on, hang on.

How do you feel about a nice little wine with your takeaway?

Where exactly are you?

You OK, love?

Sleepy.

Are you sure you didn't drink more than you sold?

Harry, are you sure you're all right?

Terry?

Follow that cat!

Oh no, not again.

How much you want? Sure, I'll pay.

There you go, thanks.

Okay.

Yes? I've come to see Sandra. Who is it, Mum?

Someone for you.

Be down in a sec.

Well, come in. You won't be long.

Mum's Sandra's mum.

Pleased to meet you.

Are you a friend of Sandra's?

Yeah, yeah. I'm Terry.

She never mentioned you.

Very secret, my daughter, about her friend.

Hello. Terry, this is my mum. We've done the introduction.

Yeah.

I know Terry from work.

Come on, bed.

You can't watch to the end. Well, I say you can't. Now, come on, off to bed.

Take him up, will you, Mum? I can get up there by myself.

Oh, great.

Come on. Off with you.

Work with Sandra, do you?

Yeah, yeah.

I never met anyone from Sandra's work before.

What do you do?

Well, I, um... Terry's one of the partners.

Oh, that's nice.

I keep telling Sandra she should get on the day shift like everyone else.

Yes, Mum, Terry's not in charge of that side of things.

What do you want?

I need to talk to you.

There's been a bit of trouble down at the, um... The salon?

Yeah, the salon. There's been a bit of trouble.

Well, why don't we go down the pub and talk about it?

Yeah, good idea. Come, then. Why don't you stay here? I've got some beer in the

fridge. No, no, it's all right. I'll make myself scarce in the kitchen.

No, there's no need. Can you have me something, Terry?

Only, I've got something in the oven just for Andrew. It'll stretch to two.

it's OK.

I've eaten, honestly.

What we've got to talk about will only take a few minutes.

I could do with a drink, anyway.

Come on, Terry.

Yeah, well, bye, Mrs... Thank you. Bye, Terry.

See you again, I hope.

Yeah, you never know.

There you go.

Are you sure you're not going to pull this one away?

Positive. Cheers.

Now, you say they never told you to rip off clients?

Never. I wouldn't have done it, even if they had.

I mean, fair's fair.

It would have been kind of... Immoral?

Yeah.

Kind of immoral.

Anyway, I don't want to do anything that will get the cops on me.

I've got my family to think of.

Oh, yeah, of course, yeah.

I've got another kid, too.

She's five.

I've had to support them and my mum ever since my husband left.

When was that? He walked out four years ago.

So you reckon this patina bird is thieving freelance, eh?

You'll make more than enough at this game without having to steal.

You met her?

Never met anybody.

I just phoned through the appointments.

What does your mum think about all these phone calls?

She thinks I work in a private hairdressing and manicure.

I used to be a hairdresser.

I can earn four times as much this way and no tax.

What's their cut?

25%. I send it weekly to a box number.

Well, they trust you to send the right amount.

They make the appointments, they know what I charge, they know my address.

A friend who got me involved said they get very nasty if you don't play it

straight.

God, if they knew about this patina. They'd slice her up.

Look, I don't want to cause any trouble.

I'll get back.

Look, I'm sorry about your friend.

It's a lot of money to lose.

Stern, it's silly of him to carry it round, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah.

Very silly.

Well, thanks all the same.

Thanks for the drink.

Hang on a minute.

My phone number.

Call me sometime.

Yeah, cheers.

I mean, not on business or anything.

We could...

Go to a film?

I think so.

Yeah.

Yeah, fine. You really wrung my

heart, old son.

I spent 100 quid on your night out and all you do is bring me back a bloody

social problem.

Yeah, well, I've got a phone number if you want to take it to the pictures.

You like their old mum and all.

Very funny.

Didn't you get a single lead?

need new shock absorbers. Well, it's me what needs new shock absorbers, after

what you just told me.

If I'd spent 50 quid on a bird, I'd at least have myself a massage.

I didn't fancy it.

All we got is a lousy phone number and a crummy box number. How are we going to

trace them like that?

Look, I'm not a bleeding detective, am I? And I'm not that mad about being in

the wine trade, either.

And I'm not all that mad about being accidentally run over by one of

heavies. No, it's probably a wind -up.

Give us a call if it isn't, all right? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll crawl to the

phone box with my two broken legs.

I'll tell you what.

Yeah, I know. You need a new plug. And not only in your old banger, either.

That leaflet. I mean, they can't put it under everybody's door, can they?

I mean, it might be a respectable cuppa or a family or something. So?

I think I've got a lead.

Well, I don't know.

Wednesday at the latest.

Yeah. Hello, George.

I'll see you later.

Remember me?

Oh, you're not staying in the hotel, are you? No, no, I did last night. You

showed me to my room.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Remember that?

You shoved it under my door.

I'll leave it out.

Well, let's have a quiet little chat then, eh?

I'm not here.

What are you, the law then?

No. On what comes before the law, they come afterwards if you don't cooperate.

So tell me about this racket.

Hey, what's this, George?

You bringing your friends round for dinner?

Think I've got a fault to eat here on my wages?

I don't know anything about it.

Yes, you do.

You show a lonely gent up to his room, right? You ask him a few questions, see

if he's got a little time to kill a few bob to spare, and you clip one of those

under his door, don't you?

Cupid's little messenger. That's what you are, isn't it, George?

Okay, so I deliver them, but I don't run the sodding racket. I know that.

You're not bright enough, are you?

But who does?

No. No, I can't tell you that.

You can.

Now.

You coming in with me? No, no, no. I'll stay in the car. I think that'd be

better. Oh.

Don't want to be seen going in there, eh?

People might think you're one of the Dirty Mac Brigade, eh? No, no, no. It's

that at all. I can't leave the car. It's on a yellow line.

Besides, you might want to make a fast getaway.

Could be rough in there.

Yeah, that's why I want to talk about my share now.

Your share?

You keep on telling me we're in the wine trade together.

How much?

Five massages worth.

250 quid?

If I get the 900 back.

And you already owe me 50.

Lousy wine's costing me a fortune. Yes or no?

Bloody Shermerdin.

You the manager?

No, no, no. I had to pack, mate.

No interruption.

You're parked on a double yellow line.

Oh.

You all right? What?

Oh, hello, officer. Yeah, yeah, I'll be all right in a minute.

Sudden migraine. I thought I ought to pull in for a second.

Migraine? You get these attacks often?

No, no, no, no, very rarely.

Oh! Well, I thought it might be neuralgia.

Well, even if you've got cholera, you can't park on a double yellow line.

what do you want me to do, drive around banging into people? I've got double

vision. You ought to get to a doctor.

How? I can't drive like this. Well, if it's that bad, I'll call you an

ambulance. What, and tow my car away? No, thank you. No, no, no, just give me

minute, will you?

Trip,

did you?

Yeah, yeah, trip.

You hurt yourself?

No, I'm all right.

You didn't get yourself chucked out of there, did you?

You sure seem dead in a place like that.

And how are you feeling now?

Much better, thanks.

The double vision's going.

Right. Well, you'd better move up.

before you see two policemen moving in on you.

Right, thanks.

All done. All done. You don't know what I've been through.

Yeah, I noticed they took a bit of persuading.

They're very ethical, like lawyers or priests, always trying to protect their

clients.

Fixed patina.

Fixed her?

Yeah, well, they weren't very happy that she had half -inch 900 quid without

divvying it up.

So they're going to let us deal with it.

Oh.

Well, in two hours' time, she's going to room 434 for a spot of massage.

I can't afford to get another room for you in that hotel. No, there's no need

for that. We'll pick her up before she gets there.

Are we going to recognise her?

I've sorted that one out, too.

Ooh, a little exercise really sharpens up your mind, doesn't it?

Oh, yeah.

A souvenir for you.

What is it?

Just a little something to sharpen up your love life. Right.

Come on up the back stairs.

Joking, it's a fourth floor.

We're going to... Cut the arm, boy.

That's steady.

You've been quick in the walk, haven't you?

I'm not walking up any back stairs.

Hello, I'm Bettina. Oh, I'm Sergio, Mr. Sergio.

Yes? They didn't tell me your other name, just said Terry.

No, I'm not Terry. Oh, God.

She'll come back when she knows it's a mistake.

Casual, Casual Sergio.

Yeah, well, anyway,

you wanted a massage.

A massage?

Oh, yes, a massage. Very nice, just like at home. Come in, please.

Very good of Hotel to know we like a massage.

You didn't think of that, did you?

Can't think of everything.

We could be here all night, Terry.

He's Japanese.

So?

You have no idea what they get up to.

I'm going to sit down.

Wow. One of Patina's drinks and zonk, whatever he is.

Perhaps chaps aren't allowed to drink.

No, that's Muslims.

Is it?

How do you know?

Well, a load of them live in my street.

Never seen them in a boozer.

Perhaps they're only allowed to do it in private.

What are we talking about Muslims for?

You started it, saying maybe chaps don't drink.

If only I'd known.

What? When I bought all that bloody plonk, I'd end up sitting here, waiting

a nip to have a nap.

You ought to think yourself lucky.

Why?

Do you ever see Bridge on the River Kwai?

Have a little word with you, Bettina.

Who are you?

Never your mind, dear.

You house detectives?

Yeah, that's right.

Oh, good.

You're not house detectives. You're not cops either.

No, dear, this is a citizen's arrest.

Yeah, well, what do you want? Two nights ago, you visited professionally a

friend of mine, Clive Stannard. Hold on, Arthur. Let's have a look. Come here.

Don't be a silly girl.

Don't you fall out the car, do we?

Oh, yeah.

Been collecting again.

Oops.

Carry on like this.

We're going to wipe out the tourist trade single -handed.

You also collected from my friend, and he's only from Kent.

900 quid for my money.

We want it back.

Or else.

I have very good connections at Savile Row Police Station.

I'll just whip in and get the money. No, no, no, that's okay.

I'll go.

What's the matter? Don't you trust me?

Yeah, of course.

You went in last time.

Pawn shop, remember?

Think it might be a bit dangerous, do you? Listen, if you need me, do your owl

call.

Just give me the money and we'll say nothing about the other business, OK?

I can't, love. I've spent most of it. Oh, dear, dear. In two days, we'll have

make it up out of petty cash, won't you?

Where do you keep that? In the desk?

Look, love, I mean, why don't you sit down?

Have a drink.

Your friends used to wait, you know.

Wrong. Waiting makes him go berserk.

Now, come on, where is it, love?

In there.

Hello. Didn't know you were entertaining at home.

Entertaining? You must be joking. Who's she?

My flatmate.

Who are you more like? Ah, Arthur. Well, I'm just leaving.

I'll go there and collect him some money for a drink.

Whoa!

Get out of here, quick, love. He's got a mate outside. Inside of me? What's

wrong?

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, so that's your evening classes, was it? Get off!

Get off!

You won't stay for three. You bastard!

Yeah, that's nice.

Yes? I've got something for you.

That belongs to you, I believe.

Are you from the hotel?

No, not exactly, no.

Where from, then?

A friend of Japanese tourism.

Listen, son, leave the geishas alone here, eh?

They're not the same as back home.

That is absolute nonsense. I bought it from a shipper.

That's not what my colleagues heard in Dover.

That's why the divisional inspector wants me to bring you in for a little

Arthur!

Oh, hello, Mr Chisholm.

Hello, Clive.

Hello, Arthur.

I didn't know you knew my old friend, Detective Sergeant Chisholm.

Oh, we've known each other a while. Never met Mr Stanard.

I might have guessed you knew each other, Arthur.

No, it is a recent acquaintance.

Yeah, how's your other friend?

Billy Gresham.

Big Billy Gresham.

He's just gone inside.

No bail granted.

Protective custody.

Dear, oh, dear.

Oh, Clive, I just brought... No, Arthur, please. First, there's a matter I have

to clear up with Mr Chisholm.

You been doing business with Mr Stanard, Arthur? No, no, no, I just asked him to

find me someone's address. It really will do another time, Arthur. I was

to have a business discussion with Mr Stanard.

Well, right now, the divisional inspector wants a business discussion

Stannard, so you'll just have to cancel yours.

Unless you want to come, too. No, no, no, no, no. Two's company.

Well, perhaps you'd like to come along now, Mr Stannard.

So, bye, Arthur. Bye, Mr Chisholm.

Bye, Clive. We'll, um, we'll just forget about that address, eh?

What's all that then?

Your wino friend been running?

Oh, you make a big saving when the law's on your side, Dave.

A large one.

Coming up.

Can I speak to Sandra, please?

I'm afraid she's not here. She's out at work.

Do you want to leave a message?

No.

No, no thanks.

Bye.

Lovely day, Terence. What's up?

What? Your great -aunt died or something? No, no, 95 and still going

her money under the mattress.

You were right about friends, Tanner.

I think that wine might have fallen off the back of a boat.

Cheerful Charlie Chisholm just took him in for questioning.

Before you could pay him the money.

Well, get a corkscrew. Go on. We'll broach a bottle.

Celebrate.

There you are.

I'll tell you what. What?

I'll broach the bottle.

You pay the bill.

Bill?

Yeah.

250 quid for services rendered.

Did we say 250?

Yes, Arthur.

Five massages worth.

You remember.

God blimey, you can't complain about that.

250 quid for all that plonk.

What's the matter?

Got paralysis of the wrist or something?

Not much of a nose on it.

71 should have a much fruitier bouquet.

Oh, come on, drink the bloody stuff, don't inhale it.

Moroccan vinegar.

Yeah, you would know, wouldn't you?

It's not that bad.

Not bad?

You could wipe out half the cellar with that.

No, I tell you what, it's a dust bottle.

That does happen sometimes, you know. Good wine don't always travel.

You know, talking about travelling, you owe me another 50.

50 what?

Notes.

What for? I just gave you 250.

Ah, X's.

Wear and tear.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

You'll be charging me VAT next, won't you?

There we are.

Mmm. That is definitely better.

Yes.

Are you kidding?

Oh, we dropped the price a bit. Four quid a bottle?

30p for cooking.

Oh, that is drinkable. If you're a meth drinker. No, Terry, that is a good

little table wine.

If you want to strip the polish off the table, yeah.

Hey, I know a friend of polish.

I've changed the situation.

Right people, right time, just the wrong location.

I've got a good idea.

Just you keep me near. I'll be so good for you. I could be so good for you. I'm

gonna help you.

Love you like you want me to.

I'll do anything for you.

I'll be so good for you. I could be so good for you. I'll do...