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This is the city, Paris, France.

It is just like any other big city,

London, New York, Tokyo,

except for two little things--

in Paris, people eat better,

and in Paris, people make love...

Well, perhaps not better, but certainly more often.

They do it any time, any place--

on the left bank...

On the right bank...

And in between.

They do it by day,

and they do it by night.

The butcher...

The Baker...

And the friendly undertaker.

They do it in motion.

They do it sitting absolutely still.

Poodles do it.

Tourists do it.

Generals do it.

Once in a while, even existentialists do it.

There is young love...

And old love.

Married love...

And illicit love.

That is where I come in.

My name is Claude Chavasse.

I am what you would call the private eye.

It was Monday, June 11th, 6:15 A.M.

I had been working the night watch

on the Place Vendome outside the Ritz Hotel.

In order to protect the innocent,

I will call this the case of Madame X.

Of course she was not entirely innocent.

While Monsieur X was attending

a business conference in London,

she was conferring nightly in suite 14 of The Ritz.

8:45 A.M.

I arrived at number 17 rue Mallebranche

this is where I live.

This is also where I have my office.

It is a very quiet neighborhood.

My clients prefer it this way.

Bonjour, madame.

Bonjour, Monsieur Chavasse.

It is a neat, normal life we have here.

There is just myself, my daughter, and her cello.

Papa?

Good morning, Ariane.

Good morning, papa.

Did you have a hard night?

So-so.

Interesting case?

So-so.

Tell me about it.

Never mind.

Why not?

Never mind.

Papa, I'm worried about you.

You've been working every night.

It's my busiest season.

Well, you need a rest.

My profession is like a doctor's.

I have to be on call night and day.

A good doctor can never rest,

not until the patient is out of bed.

I'd never thought of it that way.

You shouldn't think of it at all.

How are things at the conservatory?

So-so. We're rehearsing.

Rehearsing what?

The symphony. Haydn's 88th.

I tell you what I'm doing, but you never tell me.

That's because I love you,

and because I want to protect you

from these sordid matters I have to deal with.

Now, go back to your cello.

Yes, papa. Would you like breakfast?

Later.

I have some work to do in the darkroom.

I'm expecting a client.

When mama was alive,

I'm sure you discussed your work with her.

Your mama was a married woman.

I'm so glad.

Papa, your coffee's getting cold.

Just a few minutes.

You can play detective later.

All right. All right.

Who's this man?

Ariane, please.

He's very attractive.

He's very objectionable

and quite immoral.

He is?

And utterly no good.

What did he do?

That's enough.

I don't think I've ever seen his face in the files.

Ariane, have you been into my files?

No, papa.

Well, I mean, yes, papa.

Just a few of them when I was dusting.

Ariane, you've been told

to stay away from those files.

I've been trying, papa, but they're so fascinating.

At the conservatory, all the girls envy me

because I have my private library.

Library.

This is not a library.

This is a sewer.

How can you say that?

Some cases are so romantic.

What cases?

I guess my favorite one's in file "D."

The Duchess of Devontree and her Alpine guide.

So sad and so beautiful.

Your father almost had a heart attack

following them up the Matterhorn.

How she must have loved him to give up everything--

the Duke, the castles, the horses, and the hounds.

For what? 2 weeks of shameless passion.

2 glorious weeks.

It was a terrible scandal with a terrible end.

But it was worth it...

What woman could ask for more

than to die together with her lover,

buried under an avalanche,

locked in each other's arms forever?

Nonsense. They'll thaw out, and that will be it.

How can you be so cruel?

Don't you have any sympathy?

I do. My sympathy is with the Duke

and the horses and the hounds.

How about the case of the benedictine monk

who quit his order for the love of a young widow?

She just wanted the secret formula

for the liqueur.

Papa, you're a cynic.

I guess I am.

You enjoy your work

even if you weren't paid for it.

I wouldn't go that far.

You enjoyed exposing Madame Larouche.

Madame Larouche? You've read that, too?

And those passionate letters she wrote that bullfighter

after he was gored by her husband.

I'm going to put double locks

on everything around here!

Ariane, you're not to come into this office

without my permission.

And you are not to dust in here.

And you are not to answer the door.

This is my client.

Go back to your room and practice.

Bonjour, monsieur.

Bonjour, Monsieur Chavasse.

I came straight from the airport.

My wife thinks I'm still in London.

Very clever. In here, please.

What did you find out?

It will be a few minutes. The evidence is not quite dry.

Oh.

How was the weather in London?

Miserable.

Oh, it was beautiful here. The nights have been so warm.

How was business in London?

Terrible.

Things have been lively in Paris.

Can't we stop this dreadful noise?

I'm a very nervous man.

Of course, monsieur.

Ariane, please. Not now.

Yes, papa.

Now before I show you these photographs,

I wish to point out

they were taken under difficult conditions.

The light was bad, the distance considerable,

and the angle was quite impossible.

Please, monsieur, is the news good or bad?

That depends. Is this your wife?

Here.

Thank you.

It looks like her.

Then I regret to inform you that it looks bad.

There is another man.

There is.

And I regret to say that he looks good.

He does.

And here we have the two together.

Ohh...

Please, monsieur, you must not excite yourself.

I'm trying!

Would you like some Brandy?

No, thanks. It gives me heartburn.

How about some aspirin?

No, thanks. It gives me a headache.

What is his name?

His name is Frank Flannagan.

American. Very rich.

Oil, construction business,

turbojet engines, Pepsi-cola--

the pause that refreshes?

That's the other one.

Pepsi-cola hits the spot.

But we must not jump to conclusions.

It's this terrible uncertainty that's driving me mad.

I always know when he's in Paris

because my business improves noticeably.

I should have taken my wife to London.

He does very well in London, too.

Also Rome, Vienna, Madrid.

Here are the Scandinavian countries.

There was an episode in Stockholm

involving twin sisters...

But why should I bore you with statistics?

How long has this been going on?

I imagine ever since he was 16.

I mean with my wife.

A week or so.

They meet in his suite at The Ritz.

Everybody knows us at The Ritz.

I wouldn't worry. She's very discreet.

She always uses the service elevator,

and she always wears a veil.

She usually arrives at his suite,

number 14, at 9:00.

You'll be relieved to know that they are not alone.

There is always a gypsy orchestra.

Ohh...

They open the program

with something called Hot Paprika,

then a little Liszt, a little Lehar,

a Csardas or two,

and at 5 minutes before 10:00, they always play Fascination.

Fascination?

Ohh...

No, that's not the way it goes.

Quite pretty, isn't it?

Yes, yes. What comes after that?

That's it.

They play Fascination, and they leave.

And my wife?

She stays.

Ohh...

However, we must not jump to conclusions.

Here is the window of suite 14 at 11:00.

12:00.

1:00.

2:00.

3:00.

4:00.

What are you doing?

I'm jumping to conclusions.

You must not shoot your wife.

You will only bungle the job.

Your hand will tremble.

At best, you'll wound her in the leg or the shoulder.

You will take her to the hospital,

she will meet an attractive doctor.

I will not shoot my wife. I love my wife.

Well, you must not shoot yourself.

Myself? I haven't done anything.

Quite true.

What is the number of the suite, 14?

Exactly.

The gypsies leave at 10:00?

Exactly.

Then at 10:00, I shall enter suite 14 and shoot.

The American?

Exactly.

You do realize that this is cold-blooded murder?

I do.

You may have to spend years in jail.

I may.

Can I say nothing to dissuade you

from this foolhardy scheme?

Nothing whatsoever.

In that case, monsieur, you leave me no choice.

I must be paid right now.

How much?

60,000 francs.

It should really be more

because with Mr. Flannagan removed,

there'll be a sharp drop in my business.

Thank you, monsieur.

You may take the photographs.

No extra charge.

Send them to my lawyer.

And my bags, you send them also to my lawyer.

No extra charge.

Au revoir, monsieur. Bonne chance.

Papa?

Yes, Ariane?

Papa...

What is it?

Papa, may I practice again?

Of course, darling.

I better take the tray out first.

Thank you. Go ahead, darling.

Your client seemed so nervous.

What was he moaning about?

It's his wife.

She...

Never mind.

Aren't you going to the conservatory?

In the afternoon, papa.

Michel is picking me up.

He must be quite tall. At least 6'3".

Who? Michel?

No. Mr. Flannagan.

Give me that.

He's certainly the most handsome man in your files.

He's certainly the most utterly no good.

His face is so American,

like a cowboy or Abraham Lincoln.

You know what happened to Lincoln...

And right in the middle of a performance!

What time is it now?

9:15.

Why do you keep asking?

Shh!

Do you have a telephone coin?

What's wrong, Ariane?

If you're in trouble, you can tell me.

Thanks, Michel.

Operator, get me the Hotel Ritz.

Please hurry. It's an emergency.

Hello, Ritz?

I want to speak to Mr. Frank Flannagan.

He left express orders not to be disturbed.

But I...

Sorry. Monsieur Flannagan has retired for the night.

You better put this call through,

or Mr. Flannagan will retire permanently!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

What time is it now?

9:20.

You're acting very strange tonight.

How would you act if you knew somebody was being shot?

I'd call the police. Who's being shot?

Do you have another telephone coin?

I have a right to know what's going on

not just because I tell you the time,

but because you know how I feel about you.

Police? I want the Commissaire de Police, please.

Ariane, who's being shot? Where? By whom?

And why are you involved?

I wish to report a crime.

You wish to report a crime?

What is the crime?

There's a man and woman in the Hotel Ritz, suite 14.

Man and woman, suite 14, Hotel Ritz.

What is the crime?

You don't understand. The woman is married.

I understand.

Hotel Ritz, woman is married.

What is the crime?

She has a husband. He has a gun.

Now we are getting somewhere.

He has no permit?

At 10:00, he'll break into the room

and shoot!

Please, madame, do not excite yourself.

It's not 10:00 yet.

Now, at 10:00, if he does shoot

and he does not miss, then call us again.

That will be too late!

Send somebody there immediately!

There are 7,000 hotels in Paris,

220,000 hotel rooms.

On a night like this,

I'd say in 40,000 of those rooms

a similar situation...

If we had to send policemen

to every one of these situations...

No, no, madame, it just staggers the imagination.

It would take more than the entire police force.

We'd need the fire department the sanitation department,

and possibly the boy scouts.

And certainly, madame,

we don't want young boys in short pants

involved in situations like this.

Ariane, this has gone far enough.

I'm going to drive you home.

Michel--

I'm sorry. I have no more coins.

No. I want you to take me home,

but could we stop at The Ritz?

The Ritz?

Come back, Lulu.

Lulu, Lulu!

Shh!

Shh!

Shhhhhh!

Shh!

Shh!

What are you barking at? There's nobody there.

Bad dog.

Fascination.

Shh!

Now, what's come over you tonight?

All that barking!

Bad dog!

Tsk tsk!

Mr. Flannagan?

Mr. Flannagan.

Mr. Flannagan?

Mr. Flannagan...

Pardon me for interrupting, but this is urgent

because you're going to be shot.

Shot?

Shh!

Keep on playing.

Who are you? How did you get in here?

Through the balcony.

I had to because her husband's outside the door...

With a gun,

a great big gun.

Oh.

Sorry, Mr. Flannagan,

but that will be all for tonight.

Hmm?

Kindly disconnect yourself from my wife.

I beg your pardon.

Over there, where the light is better.

Do we know each other?

Only by proxy.

I'm the foolish husband.

Whose foolish husband?

Her foolish husband.

My foolish husband?

Josephine?

Is this lady your wife?

Is your name Frank Flannagan?

Yes.

Is this suite 14?

Yes.

Then she must be my wife.

Are you?

I don't think so.

It's all very confusing.

May I use your phone?

Go ahead. Help yourself.

Hello. Give me the concierge.

Concierge, is there another Frank Flannagan

in this hotel?

Well, is there another suite 14?

This is The Ritz, isn't it?

I'm terribly sorry,

but you must understand. I--I'm terribly nervous.

Have some of this.

It's so preposterous.

Apparently, I am the victim of misinformation--

a case of mistaken identity.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Perfume!

I can smell my wife's perfume.

Hmm?

Go right ahead. Help yourself.

Uh.

While you're looking,

if you happen to find my left slipper...

Is this it?

Thank you!

I'm sorry to cause you trouble.

It's no trouble. I'm glad you came.

I've been trying to find this for a week.

I was so upset,

I went to a Turkish bath for 3 massages.

You look good.

Thank you.

Shh!

Lulu!

First thing tomorrow morning, you're going to the analyst.

Bad dog!

When I saw you in the corridor,

I could have sworn you were my wife.

You mustn't jump to conclusions.

Yeah.

Actually, you don't look like her.

My wife is much more...

Not that she's heavy.

She's very beautiful,

she's one of the most beautiful women in the world.

I'm sure she is.

I do wish you could meet her.

Well, maybe some other time.

Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

I understand.

Good night, madame. Good night, monsieur.

Good night.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Perhaps I'd better put this back on.

Ha ha ha!

How about that guy?

Told his wife he was in London!

You can't trust a husband anymore.

If it hadn't been for you...

I'd have got...

I was glad to do it.

A madman running around The Ritz with a loaded gun!

Ever hear of such a thing?

It's nothing unusual.

There are 7,000 hotels in Paris,

220,000 hotel rooms,

and in approximately 40,000 of them,

especially on a night like this--

what are you talking about?

These are official figures.

Good night, Mr. Flannagan.

Good night.

It was nice meeting you.

Wait! You can't go.

Who are you?

Oh, that's not important.

You seem to know who I am.

You're Frank Flannagan--

American, oil, construction business,

turbojet engines, Pepsi-cola,

and you hit the spot.

How did you know about the husband coming here?

You are 6'3",

but you don't look like Abraham Lincoln.

Who said I did?

How did you know about tonight?

A friend of a friend of a friend.

A friend of a friend of a friend of--whose?

Tell me. Why did you warn me?

Why?

It's simple. I'm against violence.

In my opinion, there's too much shooting in the world

and not enough love.

How's that again?

If people loved each other more,

they'd shoot each other less.

Are you a religious fanatic or something?

Who is it?

It's me again. The husband.

Come in.

I'm sorry to make a nuisance of myself,

but I forgot something. I bought it in London.

I guess they'll take it back. I still have the sales slip.

Good-bye.

Good-bye.

Good-bye.

You can't go now. He may be watching.

I think he's still suspicious.

But it's getting late.

Late?

This is Paris.

La vie en rose.

Relaxez-vous.

I'll get the gypsies back.

Oh, no, no!

No gypsies. And no Fascination.

I find it helpful.

Helpful? How?

A little background music.

It's amazing what fiddles can do for you,

especially if you're not a talker,

and I'm not much of a talker.

When you're traveling around--

Madrid, Rome, the Scandinavian countries--

do you take your gypsies along?

Of course not.

Except once I had them join me in Stockholm.

It was an emergency.

The episode of the twin sisters.

You know about me.

Quite a bit.

Aren't you a little too young for that?

I was about to ask you a similar question.

Aren't you a little too old for that?

That hurts.

First you save a man's life and then stab him. Is that kind?

I take it back,

if you take back what you said.

I take it back.

Actually, I don't much care for young men,

never did.

I find them conceited and clumsy

and very unimaginative.

I quite agree.

Is this Pepsi-cola?

This? Champagne. Domestic.

I know. With fish, you have white wine.

With gypsies, champagne. Right?

Right. We'll have champagne and gypsies

when you come here to dinner tomorrow.

When I come to dinner?

Of course.

That's out of the question.

You're strange.

I really must go.

Wait. I'll take you home.

- No, thank you. - Why not?

It's too dangerous.

Are you married?

No.

You live with someone--a man?

Yes.

Is he jealous?

If he knew I was here--

but he doesn't?

I hope not.

He won't find out about tomorrow.

You don't know him.

I'm leaving Paris tomorrow.

Have a nice trip.

I'll be alone my last night here.

The gentleman with the gun

offered to introduce you to his wife.

You're much more attractive.

Or you could fly in the twins from Stockholm.

You're more attractive than both of them.

Did you say you're not a talker?

8:00?

Impossible.

9:00?

No, that's much too late.

5:00?

4:00?

In the afternoon?

When do you work?

Whenever I'm not busy.

Will you try?

I was told you were utterly no good.

Then we'll both try.

You try to be here at 4:00,

I'll try to be good.

Good night, Mr. Flannagan.

Good night...

Thin girl.

Will you please stop humming that idiotic tune?

It lacks any musical merit whatsoever.

You haven't said one word to me.

You haven't answered one question.

And how did you get that stupid hat?

What hat?

Ariane, are you all right?

It's me--Michel.

Your friend.

Good night, friend.

Ha ha ha!

I can't wait to tell my wife.

We'll laugh about this for weeks.

I don't understand it, monsieur.

My reports have always been 100% correct.

You had the right hotel, the right suite,

the right man, the right gypsies--

but the wrong woman!

Are you absolutely sure?

Absolutely!

Different voice, different figure.

Monsieur, since I was only 80% correct,

I should return 20% of your money.

No. Keep it.

You're the best detective in Paris.

Good night, monsieur.

Just remember one thing.

You must not jump to conclusions.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Pardon, mademoiselle.

No.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Good morning, my darling.

Good morning, papa.

Your breakfast is on the table.

Haydn's 98th?

88th.

88th.

Just can't seem to get anything right lately.

Good-bye, Ariane.

L-leaving, papa?

Mr. Haydn apparently ran out of ideas

when he got to Symphony #88.

Yes. Working on a new case?

A client from Brussels.

His wife ran away with the chauffeur.

The husband wants his car back.

That seems only fair.

A rehearsal this evening?

Yes.

Will Michel bring you home?

I suppose.

He's nice.

You keep saying that.

He comes from a very respectable family.

Father and uncles work for the government.

Mother plays the harp.

Grandfather was a missionary in Africa.

And there hasn't been a scandal in the family

since 1822.

Papa, you investigated Michel?

Yes. I think I owe it to my only daughter.

You're spoiling me.

If I were an Indian potentate,

I'd shower you with diamonds.

If I were a cobbler, I'd sole your shoes.

But since I'm only a detective,

all I can offer you is a detailed dossier.

Papa, I love you very much.

I love you more.

Dear Mr. Flannagan,

after careful examination of your past record,

I have decided you are not the kind of man

I would care to see again--

not even in the afternoon.

Dear Mr. Flannagan,

I hope this letter reaches you in time

to cancel the gypsies.

I'm not the kind of girl you would be interested in.

As a matter of fact, I'm the kind of girl

you would not be interested in.

Dear Mr. Flannagan...

I made a very

serious mistake last night.

I should have let you be shot.

Item 7--telegram to the Mayor of Venice.

Preliminary estimate on the cost

of overhauling your canals is $87 million.

If you want my advice, drain the water

out of the canals and pave them over.

Come in!

Item 8--attention all Pepsi-cola bottling plants

in Great Britain.

Suggested slogan, "pop in for a Pepsi,"

OK by me.

Well, hello there.

Hello.

Be right with you.

Item 9-- arriving New York tomorrow.

Reserve usual suite, St. Regis hotel.

Send flowers to the following

and alert to stand by.

Miss billings,

Miss Divoto, Miss Chandler,

Mrs. Flagstatt--

disregard if Mr. Flagstatt is in town--

Miss O'Neill, Miss Chanel.

More later.

Nice to see you again.

I came early because I wanted to tell you

that I'm not coming later.

Let me get this straight.

You came to tell me that you're not coming?

I came to return the hat.

Get yourself a drink.

No. I can't stay.

I have another date.

Oh, I see. Come in here, please.

No, thank you.

I said please. I need your help.

What sort of help?

Sit on this so I can lock it.

Then you are leaving tonight?

11:00 plane.

You don't stay in one place long.

Not if I can help it. Climb up.

Who sits on your suitcase in those other places?

It's been a problem.

You're just the right weight.

In Japan last year, they crushed a suitcase.

What do you expect?

6 geisha girls on one suitcase.

Huh? How's that?

Good-bye, Mr. Flannagan.

Happy landing.

How about one little drink?

An aperitif.

I have a date.

The man you live with?

No. The man I play with.

You mean there's one man you live with

and another man you...

Tres interessant,

as they say on the left bank.

Not really.

I'm not criticizing. I'm all for it.

You would be, with your record.

What about my record?

I've been reading up on it.

I have a library.

What kind of a library?

Various reference works, like the World Almanac.

You read about me in the World Almanac?

It's loaded with facts,

like the 10 tallest mountains,

the average rainfall in New Zealand--

what did it say about me?

You're way above average.

It doesn't just rain. It pours.

You baffle me.

I baffle you?

I can't figure you at all.

Of course, if you'd give me more time...

Shall we sit down?

Really, I was returning the hat.

Maybe I should have left it at the desk.

No. You know how people talk.

I could have put it in a bag.

Somebody might have opened it.

I could have written "personal" on it.

That they would have opened for sure.

Maybe I did the smart thing.

I think you did.

In a way, I'm glad you're leaving tonight.

You are?

Makes everything much simpler.

That's how it should be.

No involvement, no complications.

None at all.

The trouble is, people get too attached to each other.

Scenes, tears. Everything gets maudlin.

People should always behave

as though they're between planes.

Very sound, Mr. Flannagan.

He who loves and runs away

lives to love another day.

I must remember that.

It works out great.

It works for you.

Everybody's happy. Nobody gets hurt.

How about Francesca Del Corso?

Francesca Del who?

The one in Venice who tried to commit--

that's exactly the type to avoid--

silly, sentimental, serious.

I was the first man she'd ever loved.

Oh.

I suppose most girls are sentimental

about their first love.

I suppose so.

Like their first pair of high-heeled shoes.

Tell me.

Do you remember the first man in your life?

Let me see, uh...

It's all a little blurry.

I must have had too much

of this domestic champagne.

Monsieur Flannagan, it is 10:00.

Your car is here to take you to the airport.

Send up for the luggage.

Tell my chauffeur I'll be right down.

What does the "a" stand for?

Anna?

No.

Annabella?

No.

Agnes.

No.

Alexandra.

No.

Antonia.

No.

Amanda?

No.

Adolph?

Adolph?

I'm sorry. I've run out of as.

I give you my word.

It's definitely not Adolph.

What does it stand for?

Anonymous.

Why won't you tell me?

Why? We're just 2 people who met between planes.

Come in.

Baggage, monsieur.

The bags are in there. There are more in the corridor.

Have you forgotten anything?

I don't think so.

How about the hat?

Do you want it?

No, thanks.

I have no use for it.

You never can tell.

Give it to the stewardess on the plane.

I don't know the stewardess.

You will.

What's that?

It was in the corridor, monsieur.

Well, it's not mine.

Pardon, monsieur?

Merci, monsieur Flannagan. Bon voyage.

Merci, Monsieur Flannagan. Bon voyage.

Merci, Monsieur Flannagan. Bon voyage.

Merci, Monsieur Flannagan. Bon voyage.

Merci, Monsieur Flannagan. Bon voyage.

Agatha?

Angela?

Whatever your name is, you're very sweet.

I wish we had more than one evening.

You don't really.

Why drag it out?

Scenes, tears. Everything gets maudlin.

This way, it was just perfect.

Maybe we'll see each other again.

Maybe. If somebody tries to shoot you again.

I wish Cartier's were open.

I'd buy you something very lavish.

I don't want anything from you.

Yes, I do, too.

May I?

Pardon, monsieur, it is 10:15.

Well.

Good-bye, Mr. Flannagan.

Good-bye, thin girl.

Wait.

That's mine.

Yours, madame?

Mine.

Ariane?

Ariane, is my lunch ready?

Ariane?

How about lunch?

No, thank you, papa.

Ariane, is this yours?

Yes, papa.

What is it doing in the icebox?

Papa, let's make a pact.

I'll stay out of your files,

and you stay out of my icebox.

Verdi, Rossini, Puccini.

That's music for an organ grinder with a monkey.

But Wagner,

that's another matter entirely.

You conducted beautifully, Michel.

Wait till the last act when they play the Liebes Tod.

I better have that sewn. If you'll pardon me...

Sure.

Oh, pardon. Excusez-moi.

Hello, Mr. Flannagan.

Hello.

How are you?

You don't remember me, do you?

Of course I do. Let's see, where was it?

The Riviera? Biarritz?

Portofino?

Wait, wait, wait.

Adolph! The thin girl!

That's more like it.

I'm very, very sorry.

I've had a crazy year.

How are the gypsies?

They met me at the airport.

Big reunion. They cried like babies.

That's only natural, you've been through a lot together.

What have you been up to?

I've had a crazy year myself.

You look good. Maybe you lost weight.

I shouldn't be surprised.

It's been constant parties,

all sorts of fascinating men.

Imagine seeing you at the opera.

2 people meeting between acts.

I was afraid this evening was going to be a total loss.

Don't you like Tristan and Isolde?

To tell you the truth, I'm here by mistake.

It's my lousy French.

I thought I bought tickets to the Folies Bergeres.

This has more musical merit.

But did you get a load of that chorus?

There's not a dame up there weighs less than 250 pounds.

We must get together. How about tomorrow night?

Oh, you can't make it at night.

How about tomorrow afternoon?

Same hotel.

I have too many dates.

4:00. Don't disappoint me.

Ariane.

I got it fixed.

Don't you think they sewed it too tight?

Ariane?

What's the matter with you?

Ariane?

Ariane?

Greetings, papa.

Greetings.

You look just beautiful.

Have a nice time with Michel?

It wasn't a total loss.

What was the opera?

Tristan and Isolde.

Very sad case.

If instead of singing,

they would have hired a detective--

good night, papa.

Mind if I hang this in your closet?

No. What is it?

An ermine coat. A client of mine,

very big businessman-- export-import--

gave it to his secretary.

One night he caught her taking outside dictation.

So of course, he repossessed it.

He wants me to keep it here for a while.

He had the sleeves shortened.

He's giving it to his wife

on their 10th wedding anniversary.

I think that's very sweet.

What's that you're whistling?

Tristan and Isolde.

Are you sure?

I heard it in the opera.

Funny. I have the feeling I've heard it somewhere before,

and I don't think it was at the opera.

Well, those composers.

I guess they all steal from each other.

Good night, darling.

Good night, papa.

If you're one of the gypsies, they are in suite 14.

Good afternoon, Mr. Flannagan.

Hi.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

I see nothing has changed.

Once you've got a winning combination,

why mess around with it?

Can I take your coat?

I'd rather keep it on.

Isn't it rather warm for this time of year?

Oh, I catch a lot of colds, especially in the summer.

We must watch out for the draft.

This is Siberian ermine, you know.

Quite expensive.

Where did it come from?

Siberia.

I mean, who gave it to you?

Oh, a friend.

Very generous.

Very rich-- export-import.

Export-import.

What does he export and what does he import?

Oh, he, uh...

He exports perfume and imports bananas.

There's a fortune in it.

For one bottle of perfume, you get 12 bananas.

12 bananas?

Doesn't sound like such a hot deal.

But it's a tiny bottle of perfume

and very large bananas.

I had a sable coat before that.

He is generous.

That was from another man.

Another man?

An Englishman. He was a Duke.

You don't say!

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yes.

Castles and horses and hounds.

We spent Christmas in Switzerland.

Everything was fine until he threatened

to throw himself off the Matterhorn.

The Duke?

Oh, no. This was somebody else.

Somebody else? Who?

Aren't you getting personal?

I'm not asking you any questions.

You're right. Let's forget about it.

If you must know,

it was an alpine guide.

Very strong, very blond,

with edelweiss behind his ears.

He had the most attractive knees.

Knees?

They wear those short leather pants.

Naturally, one thing led to another.

Naturally.

He fell madly in love with me...

He wanted to kill himself

when he heard we were leaving.

You and the Duke?

Me and the banker from Brussels.

You did have a busy year.

You don't think I just sat around waiting for you?

No, nothing like that. It's hard to believe.

A girl your age and all those men...

If you prefer to think

that you're the only man in my life...

I didn't say that.

Or that I've spent all this time

crying over you and carrying on,

like that girl in Venice.

If I thought that,

I'd run like a scared Jack rabbit.

Don't be scared, Mr. Flannagan.

I'm not that type at all. I know the rules.

Love and run.

Everybody happy, nobody gets hurt.

Works great all around.

You put that very nicely.

How long will you be in Paris, Mr. Flannagan?

2 or 3 weeks. Who knows?

Why?

Oh, I just wanted to know

how to arrange my own schedule.

Oh.

Of course.

All that traffic.

Take off that silly Siberian coat.

You won't catch a cold.

I'm very susceptible, you know.

Please.

Ariane?

Yes, papa?

Since you've always taken great interest

in my business,

let's see how good a detective you are.

Papa?

For instance,

let's consider the case of the elusive ermine.

Elusive ermine?

The fur coat I'm keeping here.

Oh, that one.

Do you remember where we put it?

Where did we put it? In the closet?

This closet?

Yes, papa.

All right, let's see.

Well, what do we have here?

What?

What does it look like?

A cello, papa.

Of course!

Now, let's be logical.

If the cello is where the fur coat was,

where do you suppose the fur coat is?

Where?

Think.

Where the cello was?

In here?

Let us see.

Oh, you're very good.

Bravo!

Thank you, papa.

Now, let us probe a little further.

Who, in your opinion, did it?

What was the motive?

Isn't this enough for one lesson?

Why did you take it?

I didn't take it. I borrowed it.

Why?

Why, why, always why!

Why do I have to be a detective's daughter?

Why do I have to be questioned, cross-examined?

The motive, please.

I took it to the conservatory

to show to the girls.

They've never seen an ermine coat before.

That's all there is to it. That's the motive.

You caused me a great deal of embarrassment.

My client came to get it,

almost walked out with the cello.

I only had it on for a few minutes.

His wife will never know.

He's not giving it to his wife after all.

That's mean. Why not?

She came back from vacation in Spain

wearing one of those bracelets around her leg.

What do you call it?

An anklet?

That's right. An anklet.

And it's driving him crazy.

It is?

She says she got it from her sister,

but that's ridiculous.

From a sister, you get an umbrella,

or an egg beater,

but not an anklet.

There's something very provocative

about an anklet.

That so?

So he's going to have the sleeves lengthened

and give it back to his secretary.

You know, I've been thinking.

What about?

That alpine guide.

Who?

The one with the leather pants

and the flower behind the ear.

Oh, him.

Those other guys-- export-import and the Duke--

they don't mean a thing,

but that character with bare knees bothers me.

He should. He had the cutest dimples right here.

His name was Sebastian.

I know how those jokers operate.

They get you on top of some glacier,

point out the sunset, and suddenly, swish!

Not at all, Mr. Flannagan. He was a perfect gentleman.

He used to kiss my hand.

Oh, the old Mountain-climbing technique.

Working our way from crag to crag.

Pass me the salt, please.

Put that chicken leg away.

I'm hungry.

Put it away.

Yes, Mr. Flannagan. Any particular place?

Put it away.

All right, Mr. Flannagan.

What's that?

What's what?

That.

Oh, that's an anklet.

New?

No. It's platinum.

I never noticed it before.

I only wear it without stockings.

Where did you get it?

In Spain.

From whom?

An anklet isn't something you get from a sister.

A man?

I'll say. He was bullfighter.

A bullfighter?

His name was Sebastian.

What's with you and those Sebastians?

I mean, it happened in San Sebastian.

Oh, it happened in San Sebastian...

Any dimples on his knees?

No. Just scars.

He was very brave,

and he had the narrowest hips.

You should have seen him in the ring.

He had more grace, style--

ah! Ow!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that.

Did I say anything wrong?

No. It's just that I don't like anklets on women.

You don't?

I think they're very vulgar.

Why didn't you say so?

It doesn't mean that much to me...

Not anymore.

Cheer up, Mr. Flannagan.

What's the matter?

Relaxez-vous.

How many others were there?

Others?

How many other men were there?

You mean before I met you, since, or altogether?

You know what I mean.

It's not easy.

You catch me unprepared.

How many?

Maybe I could guess,

but that wouldn't satisfy your business mind.

Come on. Quit stalling.

If it's of any comfort to you,

you are the first American in my life.

Well, that's something.

Of course, there was a Canadian.

A Canadian?

Very cute.

Cute? With dimples on his knees?

Oh, no. No dimples. Definitely not.

Scars, maybe?

No, just a silver plate in his right knee.

He'd been in a bad spill.

He was a professional ice hockey player.

A very high scorer.

You talk too much.

Ariane, I must talk to you.

Give me an "a".

No matter how much he loves you,

I love you more.

I'm sure of it. He doesn't love me at all.

He doesn't?

No. At least, not yet.

What do you mean not yet?

He doesn't believe in it. He's above it.

He considers himself invulnerable,

but I think I've hit the spot.

What spot?

He can be jealous,

and that's a good sign.

What are you talking about?

They're very odd people.

When they're young, they have their teeth straightened,

their tonsils taken out,

and gallons of vitamins pumped into them.

Something happens to their insides.

They become immunized, mechanized,

air-conditioned, and hydromatic.

I'm not even sure whether he has a heart.

What is he, a creature from outer space?

No, he's an American.

Where is my other shoe?

This is ridiculous.

It couldn't have walked away by itself.

It'll show up sooner or later.

It's 5:45. I'm late.

Don't just lie there. Help me.

Glad to.

You sure you had both on when you came?

Quite sure.

It's funny how things keep disappearing around here,

like that slipper.

I couldn't find it for a whole week.

I can't show up in just one shoe.

Why not? You have a handsome foot.

It's too big.

It's perfect.

As a matter of fact,

everything about you is perfect.

I'm too thin, and my ears stick out,

my teeth are crooked, and my neck's much too long.

But I love the way it all hangs together.

I must find my shoe.

It's that Parisian thing you've got--

that certain quelque chose

as they say on the left bank.

Mr. Flannagan, you're wanted upstairs.

How many men have told you that?

Telephone, Mr. Flannagan.

Don't move.

Hello?

Yes.

Who?

Ingrid?

Oh.

Oh, it's you, Dagmar.

Are you both on the phone? Are you calling from Stockholm?

Oh, you're in Paris?

I can't talk very well. It's kind of awkward.

It's nothing like that. The bathtub's running over.

I'll turn it off.

Wait!

Look, girls, I'll call you back.

How long will you be in Paris?

Oh, just overnight?

Dear Mr. Flannagan, in reply to your inquiry

as to the number of men in my life,

here is an itemized list,

to the best of my recollection.

Item 1--

a redheaded algebra teacher.

Item 2--

a very sweet missionary in French Equatorial Africa.

Item 3--

a riding instructor, formerly a Cossack.

I'll have the chauffeur pick you up around 8:30.

Skoal.

Item 17-- a Yugoslav sculptor.

Item 18-- an Italian vice consul.

Item 19-- a Dutch alcoholic.

More later.

Some friends got into town from Stockholm.

I do business there.

You have bottling plants all over the world.

Yes. Where were we?

Under the desk, looking for my shoe.

Forget about the shoe.

I could cancel my plans for tonight.

Could you?

I've only got a couple weeks left in Paris.

Let's spend them together, shut ourselves off completely.

We'll have all our meals sent in.

No waiters. We'll lay in canned goods.

Champagne.

Caviar.

Ice.

Let's have the gypsies here all the time.

They could sleep on the balcony.

It sounds delightful.

What do you say?

Good-bye, Mr. Flannagan.

Why are you always in a hurry? Where do you go?

See you tomorrow at 4:00.

What do you do with your evenings?

I'm sorry. They're all taken.

By whom?

You're just passing through.

I have to take care of my year-round friends.

What friends? What is your name? Who are you anyway?

I'm the girl in the afternoon.

The aperitif, as we say on the left bank.

Dear Mr. Flannagan, in reply to your inquiry

as to the number of men in my life,

here is an itemized list,

to the best of my recollection.

Item 1--

a redheaded algebra teacher.

Item 2--

a very sweet missionary in French Equatorial Africa.

Item 3--

a riding instructor, formerly a Cossack.

Items 4 to 9--inclusive-- cover a bicycle tour

with some exchange students through the Pyrenees.

Item 10--the Duke.

Item 11--the alpine guide.

Item 12-- a banker from Brussels.

Item 13--the chauffeur of the banker from Brussels.

Item 14--export-import.

Item 15--the bullfighter.

Correction, please.

Between items 14 and 15,

insert Canadian ice hockey player.

Item 17-- a Yugoslav sculptor.

Item 18-- an Italian vice consul.

Item 19-- a Dutch alcoholic.

More later.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Item 1--

a redheaded algebra teacher.

Item 2--

a very sweet missionary in French Equatorial Africa.

Item 3--

a riding instructor, formerly a Cossack.

Items 4 to 9-- inclusive...

Lulu!

What's the matter?

Oh!

Bad dog! What did you do?

Item 3--

a riding instructor, formerly a Cossack.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

A riding instructor, formerly a Cossack.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Items 4 to 9--inclusive-- cover a bicycle tour

with some exchange students through the Pyrenees.

...some exchange students through the Pyrenees.

...some exchange students through the Pyrenees.

Item 12-- a banker from Brussels.

Item 13--the chauffeur of the banker from Brussels.

...the chauffeur of the banker from Brussels.

...the chauffeur of the banker from Brussels.

Item 15--the bullfighter.

Correction, please.

Between items 14 and 15,

insert Canadian ice hockey player.

More later.

More later.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Taxi!

Turkish bath.

Ah, Monsieur Flannagan.

So nice to see you again.

Hello.

How have you been?

None of your business.

I'm the husband with the gun.

My wife has forgiven me completely.

I'm not interested.

It's just like a second honeymoon.

- Good for you. - You come here often?

Never.

When a man sweats it out in the morning,

either he's had a very good night

or a very bad night.

Personally, I've had a very good night.

What's the trouble, monsieur?

Stock market go down? Income taxes up?

Mickey mantle's in a slump?

Shut up!

Ah, l'amour--

the tender passion, the sweet poison--

get lost.

That lady I met in your apartment?

It couldn't be. She looked so innocent.

Oh, yeah?

A girl may look as pure as snow,

but you discover the footprints of a hundred men.

A hundred men?

The terrible uncertainty drives you mad.

I know very well.

I was uncertain, mad.

It was terrible.

Now look at me.

Completely cured.

You're bothering me.

No bother at all.

I know the man that can help you.

I'll get the address.

He's the best man in Paris.

A little expensive,

but very thorough, very discreet.

This is personal.

He will solve it for you.

Either the young lady is innocent,

or she is guilty,

in which case I will sell you my gun.

I am putting you in very good hands.

Wait for me, huh?

In the last 3 weeks,

you have washed your hair 17 times.

I find that very suspicious.

You do?

Especially with the flower in the icebox,

the fur coat in the cello case,

and the upside-down stomach.

Upside-down stomach?

Lately I've observed

that you've been sleeping on your stomach.

86% of the women who sleep on their stomachs

are secretly in love.

That's very interesting.

What interests me is, who could the man be?

The man?

That's easy. Michel.

I doubt it.

On your right palm,

you will notice a tiny blister.

You've been carrying the cello case yourself.

It couldn't be Michel.

Who is the man?

Somebody's at the door.

I'm not asking as a detective,

but as a father.

One of you should open the door.

All right. All right.

Are you chavasse the detective?

Yes.

You were highly recommended.

This is an honor.

Come in, Mr. Flannagan.

You know me?

Does an art student know Picasso?

This way, please.

I want somebody investigated.

You've come to the right place.

There's this young lady. She's driving me crazy.

Oh, that's very funny.

Usually you are in the driver's seat.

I've had a rough night.

Would you like an aspirin?

No. I want this girl followed.

Are you good at it?

Did you know you were being followed?

Me?

Then I'm good at it.

As one businessman to another,

with the franc the way it is,

I'd prefer to be paid in dollars.

Dollars, traveler's checks, I don't care.

Tell me everything you know about her.

I know nothing, except her name isn't Adolph.

That narrows it down.

Where did you meet her?

In my suite at The Ritz.

She just walked through the door?

No. Through the balcony.

Isn't that rather peculiar?

Not for her. She's very peculiar.

What does she look like?

Well...

Say no more, monsieur.

I know your type-- very voluptuous,

3, 4 pounds overweight.

No, not this one. She's on the lean side.

A wisp of a girl. Not my type.

She must have something.

Definitely. An uncanny talent for getting under my skin.

I don't know where she goes.

I suspect, but I'm not sure.

You suspect what?

It seems there are a lot of other men.

She may be pulling my leg.

How about that aspirin?

There's no extra charge.

Headache, papa?

No. I feel fine. It's the client.

Hit-and-run lover.

Got run over himself.

To look at her, you'd think she was a student.

How many?

19.

19 aspirins?

2 aspirin. 19 men.

Uh-huh.

I've heard enough of that.

From an algebra teacher to a Dutch alcoholic.

There was a riding instructor, an alpine guide--

alpine guide? I had a case like this.

He had dimples behind his ears

and edelweiss in his knees,

or the other way around.

Alpine guide. Here we are.

She's an English duchess, age 45.

She's no duchess.

There was an export-import guy.

Export-import?

Wait. That sounds familiar.

Exports perfume and imports bananas.

This one deals in mustard exclusively.

Then there's a banker from Brussels.

Brussels?

I have a feeling

I've run across this girl before.

I wouldn't be surprised.

Then there's the bullfighter.

He got gored.

This is maddening.

I couldn't get to first base.

It's like a hurricane swept through my papers,

like somebody broke into my files.

She's coming to see me this afternoon.

She'll be leaving around 6:00.

When you said her name is not Adolph...

It begins with an "a".

"A".

It's not Anna or Agnes.

That tune. It's not from an opera, is it?

It's an old Viennese schmaltz called Fascination.

My gypsies play it all the time.

Of course.

Her name starts with "a".

One day she wore an anklet around her leg.

Another time she wore a fur coat in summer.

Ermine?

Right.

She'd never take anything from me.

Nothing?

Not even a flower?

I did give her a white carnation once.

Say, you are good.

Sometimes in my profession

you get lucky. Good-bye.

Bye, Mr. chavasse.

One more question, monsieur.

Are you interested in this young lady?

Sure, I'm interested.

Are you in love with her?

Who said anything about love?

I'm interested. I have many interests.

Sorry, monsieur. Just asking.

OK, don't forget. 6:00.

I may have the solution much earlier.

Client with the headache gone?

Client is gone, but not the headache.

Somebody's been carrying on with half the alphabet.

I made a mistake letting you grow up in these surroundings.

I should have sent you to boarding school

after your mama died.

Because I wash my hair often?

I had no right to expose you to all this dirt.

Fly-by-night affairs,

counterfeit love, and heartbreak.

I'd have been heartbroken if you'd sent me away.

I've been a poor father.

You've been a wonderful father.

I'll try to do better from now on.

I love you very much.

And I love you more.

Go to your room.

I want to wind up this case.

Come in.

Good afternoon, Mr. Flannagan.

Good afternoon. Any news?

How are we doing?

I have the complete report.

You do?

Well, let's have it.

Is that her file?

No, that's yours. This is hers.

You call that complete?

It's right up to the minute.

Completely complete.

Her name is Ariane.

Ariane?

I'd have never guessed that.

She's a student at the music conservatory.

Plays the cello.

I knew a dame that played the saxophone.

Yes, you did. Atlantic city, 1947.

Back to this case. She lives on the left bank.

Alone?

No, monsieur.

With a man?

Yes, monsieur. Her father.

Her father? Are you sure?

Positive.

As for other men in her life--

how many?

Just one, monsieur.

You.

Me?

That's right.

I know everything about her.

She's never even been in love before.

Come now.

She's not what you'd call a dame.

Why, the little liar.

Made me so mad, I was ready to leave Paris.

Maybe that would have been a good idea.

Canadian ice hockey player.

Alpine guide. What an imagination!

She is very imaginative.

Why do you suppose she did it?

To put herself in the same class with you.

But that, of course, is impossible.

I'll skip The Riviera this summer,

stick around a little longer.

She's too much fun.

You'd better leave before it's too late.

Too late for what?

Whenever a girl gets serious, you run.

She's very serious, so start running.

It's different.

Instead of 2 weeks, it will last 4 weeks.

It's none of your business.

Come in.

You have to decide.

I hired you to give me information,

not advice.

How much do I owe you?

Will $100 do it?

There's no charge.

Why not?

Because she's my daughter.

Give her a chance.

She's so helpless. Such a little fish.

Throw her back in the water.

Mr. Flannagan?

Oh, hello there.

You think I'd have learned how to pack by now.

Are you traveling again?

I'm off to The Riviera.

I saw that rain

and decided just like that.

Just like that?

You know those Swedish twins?

They're going to Cannes, and they want me to come along.

You know how it is.

I know how it is.

I'm just in time to help with your suitcase.

I guess you are.

Yes?

Did you try air France?

No planes are taking off at all?

In Paris, this weather sometimes lasts for weeks.

What about the train?

5:00?

Get me on it. Send up for my luggage.

How long will you be gone?

Who knows, with those crazy swedes?

After The Riviera, I'm going to Athens.

Greek women have the whitest skin in the world.

That so?

I could say I'd be back in a few weeks,

but I don't have to pretend with you.

You're a sensible girl.

I try.

I heard your record.

Got a kick out of it.

I thought you'd hate me.

Hate you?

It's a relief to run into a girl

who thinks like I do.

You French girls have the right idea.

It's bonjour and adieu, and in between, a little amour.

No hysterics, no mascara running.

Oh, we never cry.

That's why I love this place.

Except once. Once I did cry.

That's when number 14 left me.

Export-import.

He slammed the car door and caught my thumb.

That hurt.

I'll be very careful.

Can I come to the station?

In this rain?

If I come home early,

the man I live with might get suspicious.

You know how it is.

Yes, I know how it is.

It's going to seem lonely after you've gone,

at least the first few afternoons.

You'll be all right.

Didn't we have a good time?

The best.

Will you be coming back next year?

I guess. If I'm in the neighborhood.

I'd better check at The Ritz once in a while,

if I'm in the neighborhood.

Well, take care of yourself, thin girl.

I will, Mr. Flannagan.

What's the matter?

Nothing. It's nothing, really.

Soot. Always happens to me in railroad stations.

I'm susceptible.

En voiture!

May I?

En voiture, s'il vous plait!

Well, I guess I...

Good-bye, thin girl.

Good-bye, Mr. Flannagan.

You promised.

Don't worry about me.

There have been so many men before.

There'll be so many after this.

It's going to be another crazy year.

I'll be in Brussels with the banker.

He wants to give me a blue Mercedes-Benz.

While you're in Athens,

I'll be with the Duke again.

I don't know whether I'll go.

Another man's asked me to spend the summer with him.

He owns racehorses. He's very rich.

He's number 20. I mean, number 21.

You're number 20.

So you see, I'll be perfectly all right.

I'll--

I'll be all right!

I'll always remember you.

I'll be all right.

Mr. Flannagan, what are you doing?

Be quiet, Ariane.

Be quiet.

On Monday, August 24th,

the case of Frank Flannagan and Ariane chavasse

came up before the superior judge in Cannes.

They are now married, serving a life sentence

in New York, state of New York, U.S.A.