Original subtitles

[elevator bell dings]

- TA-DA. WELCOME TO OUR NEW HOME.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- I THINK YOU MUST HATE US.

- COME ON, I-IT'S NOT SO BAD.

I KNOW IT COULD USE A LITTLE DUSTING.

[electricity fizzles]

[shrieks]

A-AND SOME NEW LIGHT BULBS.

- UGH. WHAT ABOUT THAT HORRIBLE SMELL?

- SORRY, THAT WAS ME.

AIRPLANE LASAGNA DOES NOT AGREE WITH ME.

WHOA.

- YEAH, NOTHING SAYS "HOME, SWEET HOME"

LIKE A DEAD BIRD ON THE PIANO.

- I KNOW.

THIS IS THE BEST HOUSE EVER!

- PERFECT, RIGHT?

AND DOWNSTAIRS WILL BE THE BAKERY WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED.

- MOM?

- NOW, TAYLOR, I KNOW IT'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT

FROM OUR APARTMENT IN NEW YORK.

- UH, MOM?

- BUT I THINK, IF YOU GIVE IT A CHANCE,

YOU'LL GET USED TO IT.

- MOM! - WHAT?

- WHY IS THAT CHAIR ROCKING BY ITSELF?

- IT'S JUST THE BREEZE. I THINK.

[cat screeches and hisses, both scream]

- TAYLOR, IT'S JUST A CAT! - THEN WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?

- 'CAUSE I LOVE ANIMALS!

TAY, LISTEN,

THIS MOVE TO NEW ORLEANS IS GOING TO BE GREAT FOR US.

IT'S A FRESH START AFTER THE DIVORCE.

- I DIDN'T WANT A FRESH START.

- I WAS ON THE STATE CHAMPION GYMNASTICS TEAM.

I HAD MILLIONS OF FRIENDS.

NOW I'M GOING TO BE THE NEW KID

WHO NOBODY KNOWS.

- YOU WANT ATTENTION?

TWO WORDS: FACE TATTOO.

PEOPLE WILL TALK.

- TAY, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE FRIENDS.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE.

I'M GOING TO GO WASH UP.

[growl]

- FRANKIE, WHAT WAS THAT WEIRD NOISE?

- I TOLD YOU, THAT LASAGNA'S PUTTING UP A FIGHT.

EASY, GIRL.

[growling continues]

OKAY, THAT WASN'T ME.

[electricity crackling]

[chains rattling]

- [ghostly moaning]

[chuckles]

- GHOST BOY! MOM!

- I AM LOVING THIS HOUSE.

- [ghostly moaning]

- HEY, TOSS ME YOUR HEAD. WE'LL PLAY CATCH.

- WHAT?

WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING OFF SCREAMING, LIKE YOUR SISTER?

- BECAUSE YOU ARE AWESOME.

I'M FRANKIE, BY THE WAY.

- LOUIE. WAIT.

NO INTRODUCTIONS.

I'M A GHOST,

AND I'M HERE TO SCARE YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE.

[ghostly moaning]

PRETTY SCARY, HUH?

- NOT EXACTLY.

- A PRINCESS?

AH, COME ON, LOUIE. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT.

- YOU ARE ADORABLE.

- NO, I'M NOT.

I'M MEAN AND SCARY.

I'LL BE BACK.

WAND, PLEASE.

[playing jazz music]

- MILES, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- A NEW FAMILY'S MOVED IN.

HELLO.

I'D LIKE TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION.

- WE'RE GHOSTS, SON.

WHEN THEY SEE YOU, THEY'RE GONNA FREAK OUT.

- NOT IF I'M WEARING THIS SOOTHING SHADE OF LAVENDER.

THIS COLOR SAYS, "WELCOME, FRIEND."

- DAD, WE GOT A PROBLEM.

I JUST DID MY HEADLESS BOY TRICK,

AND THE NEW GIRL THOUGHT IT WAS ADORABLE.

"ADORABLE." WHAT GHOST WANTS TO HEAR THAT?

- ACTUALLY, I THINK THAT'S VERY--

- BESIDES YOU.

- CALM DOWN, LOUIE.

WE'LL FIND A WAY TO SCARE THESE PEOPLE AWAY.

- YOU GUYS AND YOUR SCARING.

HOW ABOUT, FOR ONCE, WE STOP ACTING LIKE GHOSTS

AND START ACTING LIKE HOSTS?

HUH? WHO'S WITH ME?

[vacuum cleaner whirring]

- WHOA...

[muffled] NOT COOL, LOUIE.

OOH, MY LUCKY PENNY!

- LOUIE.

[snaps fingers]

[whoosh, pop]

- I'M ONLY SAYING, IT'S BEEN A WHILE

SINCE I'VE HAD SOMEONE MY OWN AGE

TO HANG OUT WITH AROUND HERE.

IT COULD BE NICE.

- NICE?

GHOSTS AREN'T NICE!

DAD, THOSE WOMEN HAVE GOT TO GO,

AND I'M JUST THE GHOST TO DO IT.

- YOU WANT TO TAKE THE LEAD ON THIS HAUNT?

- YES, I DO.

I'M GONNA BRING THE SCARE, HEH HEH, LOUIE STYLE.

[ghostly moaning]

A BANANA? AW, MAN.

- WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT IT COULDN'T WAIT?

- WHERE'D HE GO? - WHO?

- THE TINY GHOST CHILD WHO WAS HOLDING HIS OWN HEAD.

- SHE'S LOST IT, MOM.

- MOM, I KNOW WHAT I SAW. - I GET IT.

YOU'RE GETTING BACK AT ME FOR MAKING YOU LEAVE

ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS.

- UH-OH. SHE'S ABOUT TO LOSE IT.

- HERE WE GO. THREE, TWO--

- I MAY NOT BE THE MOST PERFECT SINGLE PARENT,

BUT I'M TRYING.

- YES, TRYING. - "A" FOR EFFORT.

- SO I'M NOT GOOD AT SEWING OR HOUSEWORK,

AND YOU'LL BOTH PROBABLY INHERIT MY SIZE 13 FEET.

- COOL. - PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT.

- BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS,

AND I WANT THIS MOVE TO BE A--A NEW CHAPTER FOR US.

- MOM, CALM DOWN.

- [sniffling]

- YOU KNOW WHAT? IT WAS DARK.

I WAS PROBABLY JUST SEEING THINGS.

- THAT'S MY GIRL.

SORRY FOR GETTING SO EMOTIONAL.

MM. COME ON, LET'S GET SOME SLEEP.

WE HAVE A BAKERY TO OPEN.

AND REMEMBER,

THERE IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF

IN THIS HOUSE.

[screams] SWEET CHRISTMAS! WITCH!

- THAT'S YOU, MOM.

- I KNEW THAT.

EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE.

TAY, YOU MISSING YOUR GYMNASTICS TEAM?

- JUST A LITTLE.

- AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

ESPECIALLY THE MOM WHO NEEDS HER TABLES WASHED.

- HI, SORRY, WE ACTUALLY OPEN TOMORROW.

- OH, NO.

I WAS WALKING BY AND SAW THAT MOVE YOU JUST DID.

THAT WAS AN AMAZING BACK TUCK. - THANKS.

ALTHOUGH I DID CRUSH A MUFFIN ON MY LANDING.

I'M TAYLOR. - LILLY.

YOU GUYS JUST MOVED IN?

- THAT WE DID.

WELCOME TO PIE SQUARED.

GET IT?

ALL THE PIES ARE SQUARE,

AND IT'S ALSO A MATH TERM, SO FUN ON TWO LEVELS.

- HEY, I'M ON MY BREAK, MRS. HATHAWAY.

- WELL, WE COULD SO USE YOU ON OUR GYMNASTICS TEAM.

PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO KIRSCHNER MIDDLE SCHOOL?

- I AM. THEY HAVE A TEAM?

- YEP. HOME OF THE FIGHTING INCHWORMS.

- I WOULD LOVE TO BE AN INCHWORM.

- WELL, HEY, I COULD SWING BY AFTER PRACTICE

AND INTRODUCE YOU TO ALL THE GIRLS.

YOU'LL FIT RIGHT IN.

- ARE YOU SERIOUS? THAT'D BE GREAT.

- COOL. I'LL SEE YOU AROUND 6:00?

- GO, INCHWORMS!

[bell jingles]

MOM, HUGE NEWS.

THAT GIRL, LILLY, SHE'S BRINGING OVER

SOME GIRLS FROM THE GYMNASTICS TEAM

TO MEET ME LATER.

- GREAT.

OH, BE SURE TO PUSH THE DONUTS.

THEY'RE SQUARE, TOO.

DON'T JUDGE ME.

- [shrieks]

[shrieks]

- PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED.

- OKAY, THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.

YOU'RE A GHOST IN A LAVENDER SHIRT.

- IT'S SOOTHING, RIGHT?

TAY, RELAX.

I'M A GOOD GHOST.

THE NAME'S MILES,

RHYMES WITH "SMILES."

- I'M TAYLOR, RHYMES WITH "GET ME OUT OF HERE."

- LOOK, LET ME GIVE YOU THE 411 ON MILES PRESTON.

I'M INTO JOURNALING, BACKGAMMON, AND DANCING.

HEY! WHAT? HEY!

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BLAST TOGETHER.

- UH-HUH. SURE.

MOTHER!

MOM, I KNEW I WASN'T SEEING THINGS.

THIS HOUSE IS HAUNTED.

- [gasps] OH, MY GOSH.

- I KNOW, RIGHT?

- THAT'S CLAY BANNISTER.

- AFTERNOON.

I'M CLAY BANNISTER,

FOOD CRITIC FOR THE TASTE OF NEW ORLEANS.

YES, THAT CLAY BANNISTER.

- MR. BANNISTER, THANKS FOR COMING.

OH, A GOOD REVIEW FROM YOU WOULD BE HUGE.

UH, LET ME GRAB YOU SOME PIE TO SAMPLE.

- MOM, DID YOU HEAR A WORD I SAID?

- THAT'S NICE, DEAR.

- ALL RIGHT.

TIME TO GET MY SCARE ON.

- HEY, LOUIE. - [screams]

DON'T DO THAT. YOU REALLY SCARED ME.

- CAN THAT GUY SEE YOU?

- NO, ONLY PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THE HOUSE CAN.

NOW, CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?

- I WAS THINKING I CAN GIVE YOU A FEW TIPS ON SCARING PEOPLE.

BETWEEN YOU AND ME, I SENSE YOU'RE STRUGGLING.

- OH, REALLY?

WELL, WATCH THIS.

I DON'T GET IT. IT'S SUPPOSED TO--

[screams] SCARY CLOWN!

- YAY!

- HE WAS THERE A MINUTE AGO, I PROMISE.

- HERE WE GO, MR. BANNISTER.

ONE FRESH APPLE WALNUT.

FINGERS CROSSED.

- NAPKIN, PLEASE. I'M NOT AN ANIMAL.

- SORRY, DAD.

PRETTY WEAK SCARE, HUH?

- HEY, YOU'LL GET THERE, SON.

NOW, YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR OLD MAN IN ACTION?

- OH, YEAH.

- WELL, I MUST SAY--

[belches]

HUH! OH, MY.

THIS IS GOING TO GET VERY UNPLEASANT.

[horn blowing]

- [coughs]

- [clucking]

- MOM, THE MAN'S POSSESSED.

ADMIT IT. WE'VE GOT GHOSTS.

- TAYLOR, JUST BECAUSE WE'VE SEEN SOME WEIRD THINGS

DOESN'T MEAN--

- [clucking]

- YEAH. WE'VE GOT GHOSTS.

- NO ONE SCARES OFF AN IMPORTANT FOOD CRITIC

AND MESSES WITH MY BUSINESS.

THIS COULD GET UGLY, GIRLS.

[shrieks]

HOLY MOLEY! THOSE ARE GHOSTS!

DON'T BE SCARED, LITTLE ONES.

MOMMY'S HERE.

- HEY, THERE'S THE "L" DOG.

DAP IT.

- NO. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

- OKAY, I'M SENSING A LOT OF TENSION HERE.

WAIT, YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED?

- DANCING LESSONS?

- INTRODUCTIONS.

LET'S GO AROUND THE ROOM AND EACH GIVE OUR NAME

AND ONE INTERESTING FACT ABOUT OURSELVES.

I'M MILES. I'M ALLERGIC TO TAFFY.

- WELL, I'M RAY,

BUT IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER,

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE IN OUR HOUSE MUCH LONGER.

- YEAH, YOU PEOPLE NEED TO PACK UP AND GO

BEFORE I LOSE MY TEMPER.

- WHEN HE GETS WORKED UP, HE PUTS ON AN EVENING GOWN.

- PEOPLE, FOCUS.

YOU THINK I WANTED TO MOVE INTO THIS HOUSE OF HORRORS?

I LEFT BEHIND MY ENTIRE LIFE.

- YEAH, IT'S TRUE.

IT'S ALL IN HER DIARY...

WHICH I DID NOT ACCIDENTALLY READ.

- UNBELIEVABLE.

I FINALLY GOT A CHANCE TO MAKE FRIENDS HERE,

BUT I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A BUNCH

OF STUPID GHOSTS RUINING IT?

- WAH, WAH, WAH.

- ZIP IT, TINY TIM.

BIG PEOPLE ARE TALKING.

- OH, OH-OH.

OH, NO. YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE.

SO LET'S DO THIS.

[high-pitched voice] I'M A RABBIT, AREN'T I?

- UH, HE'S STILL LEARNING.

- LISTEN CLOSELY.

YOU'VE GOT 20 MINUTES

TO PACK YOUR THINGS AND GET OUT OF HERE.

YOU GOT THAT, SAXOPHONE STU?

GOOD SLAM, RIGHT? 'CAUSE HIS NAME'S RAY.

- OKAY, WHATEVER YOU SAY.

HOPE YOU GOT YOUR MITTENS.

- MITTENS?

THAT'S YOUR COMEBACK?

IT'S 80 DEGREES OUTSIDE.

[wind whipping]

OKAY! THE MITTENS MAKE SENSE NOW!

SCORE ONE FOR RAY!

- THANK YOU!

- WHOO-HOO! I'M KING OF THE WORLD!

- THIS IS A NIGHTMARE.

I HAVE TO CANCEL WITH LILLY.

- YOU ARE NOT CANCELLING ANYTHING.

I'M CALLING IN A GHOST EXTERMINATOR.

both: CAT!

[cat yelping]

[spooky music]

- DOKARA! CASSIMMI!

WOPATINA!

- WELL, IF THE GHOSTS DON'T SCARE OFF MY FRIENDS,

THIS GHOST BUSTER WILL.

- SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING.

SHE CAME HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

FROM THE MAN OUTSIDE WHO TALKS TO HIS HAND.

- DOKARA! CASSIMMI!

WOPATINA!

- UM, IF THIS IS THE BABYSITTER,

I'D LIKE TO SEE REFERENCES.

- NOPE, SHE'S HERE TO GET RID OF OUR GHOST PROBLEM.

- NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT.

YO, LADY. WE NEED TO TALK.

- [screeching gibberish]

- YOU'RE BUSY. I GET IT.

- OH, MAN, THE GIRLS ARE GONNA BE HERE IN TEN MINUTES.

I JUST WON'T OPEN THE DOOR.

- NO, I TOLD YOU, YOU'RE NOT CANCELLING,

AND YOU'RE NOT.

GO. I'VE GOT THIS.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

- OH, NO. THIS IS BAD.

VERY BAD. - WHAT IS IT?

- I'M FEELING STRANGE VIBRATIONS.

WAIT. OH, IT'S JUST A TEXT.

- [screams] WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- SCARED? YOU SHOULD BE.

I'M HERE TO TAKE YOU DOWN, TAYLOR.

IN PING-PONG.

- LOOK, MILES, YOU SEEM LIKE A VERY NICE...

WHATEVER YOU ARE,

BUT I'VE GOT A CHANCE TO MAKE ACTUAL FRIENDS HERE,

SO DO YOUR LITTLE GHOST THING AND DISAPPEAR.

- I GET IT. YOU HAVE PLANS.

WELL, THE LEAST I CAN DO IS HELP

AFTER MY FAMILY MADE SUCH A MESS.

NOT BAD, RIGHT?

I CLEANED THE WHOLE BAKERY AND--

- [yelps]

- WAXED THE KITCHEN FLOOR. SORRY.

- MILES.

I HAVE ICING IN MY HAIR.

[doorbell buzzing]

- OH, NO. THEY'RE HERE.

- DON'T WORRY. I CAN FIX THIS.

IT WILL ONLY TAKE A SECOND.

[hairdryer blowing, scissors snipping]

- [screams]

I LOOK LIKE THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN.

- DO YOU WANT IT BIGGER?

- NO, YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE.

JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME. GOT IT?

- [chanting]

- WELL, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?

ANOTHER FAKE GHOST BUSTER? HA!

WE'RE SO SCARED.

- WOPATINA.

[ominous humming]

- LET'S GO BACK UPSTAIRS, SON.

[chuckles]

- SCORE ONE FOR MICHELLE.

- ONE MORE TIME. - YEAH.

UH-OH.

[bell jingling]

- THERE THEY ARE.

- HEY, TAYLOR. ARE YOU--

EVERYTHING OKAY?

- YEAH. JUST A BAD HAIR DAY.

[laughs awkwardly]

YOU GUYS MUST BE THE REST OF THE GYMNASTICS TEAM.

COME ON IN.

- YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING ON YOUR NOSE THERE.

- DO I? HUH. WEIRD.

- SO THIS IS SUSAN, ANNE, AND KIMBER.

SUSAN IS ALSO FROM NEW YORK,

AND KIMBER IS SUPER INTO BAKING,

SO EVERYONE COULDN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU.

- REALLY? THAT IS SO COOL. - [chanting]

- [loudly] SO, SO COOL. I MEAN, WHO DOESN'T LIKE BAKING?

OH, MY GOSH, I LOVE BAKING! BAKING IS AMAZING!

WHO DOESN'T LIKE BAKING? SO COOL.

SO, SUSAN, WHERE IN NEW YORK ARE YOU FROM?

- ALBANY?

- GOOD TOWN, GOOD TOWN.

WHO WANTS LEMONADE?

- SURE.

SO I WAS TELLING THE GIRLS

ABOUT THAT KILLER GYMNASTICS MOVE I SAW YOU DO.

- OH, LILLY'S JUST BEING NICE.

ALTHOUGH MY OLD COACH DID NICKNAME ME "STICK,"

'CAUSE I'M SO SURE-FOOTED AND ALWAYS NAILED MY--

[squeals]

LANDINGS.

- SORRY.

I SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED I WAXED THAT SPOT, TOO.

- GO AWAY.

- ARE YOU TALKING TO US? - NO.

I'M TALKING TO MYSELF.

- I'M GETTING A LITTLE FREAKED OUT HERE.

- UM, TAYLOR, I THINK WE'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE.

- CAN'T SAY I BLAME YOU.

- UM, OKAY.

WELL, SEE YOU IN SCHOOL.

- YEP. CAN'T WAIT.

[lock clicks]

- UM, THE DOOR'S LOCKED.

- I'LL GET IT.

[wind whooshes]

[thud]

- DID YOU SEE THAT LAYOUT?

- DID I TELL YOU?

TAY, YOU HAVE TO COME WITH US

TO THE GYM TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL.

PROMISE?

- I PROMISE. THANKS, GUYS.

FIGHTING INCHWORMS!

YAY!

- CONGRATULATIONS, TAYLOR.

SORRY I ALMOST MESSED IT UP FOR YOU.

- ARE YOU KIDDING?

YOU SAVED IT FOR ME.

THANKS, MILES.

- YOU GOT IT.

I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WANT TO MAKE A FRIEND.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE YOU AND I CAN BE FRIENDS.

- REALLY? I'D LIKE THAT.

[both chuckle]

[ominous music]

HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING? TAYLOR?

- MILES?

- THEY'RE ALL HERE. IT'S TIME.

- DAD, WHAT'S GOING ON?

- MOM, PLEASE. YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

- I'M SORRY, HONEY. IT HAS TO HAPPEN.

- ISN'T THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO?

- AFRAID NOT.

ONLY THING LEFT TO DO IS SAY BYE TO OUR HOME.

A LOT OF GOOD MEMORIES HERE WITH YOU BOYS.

- WAIT. CALL OFF THE SPELL.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "CALL OFF THE SPELL"?

YOU WANTED THEM GONE MORE THAN ANY OF US.

- I WAS WRONG.

THEY AREN'T JUST A BUNCH OF GHOSTS.

THEY'RE GOOD PEOPLE.

MILES JUST REALLY HELPED ME OUT.

- BUT CHILDREN SHOULDN'T BE AROUND GHOSTS.

I MEAN, THAT'S PARENTING 101.

I'M JUST TRYING TO BE A GOOD MOM.

- THEN TRUST ME AND SAVE THEM.

- PLEASE HELP US. - COME ON.

- AH, PLEASE. WE'LL DO ANYTHING.

- TAYLOR. - OKAY, YOU'RE--YOU'RE RIGHT.

I CAN'T DO THIS.

SHUT IT DOWN, STICK LADY.

- FINE.

I GET PAID EITHER WAY.

GHOSTUS RESURECTUS.

[ominous music]

- IT'S NOT WORKING.

GIVE ME THAT.

[glass breaking] - OHH!

[whoosh]

- TAY, YOU DID IT.

THEY'RE COMING BACK.

- YOU SMASHED MY MAGIC ORB.

YOU OWE ME 6 BUCKS.

- WHEW! MY ARMS.

OH, YEAH.

THE FLESH CANNONS HAVE RETURNED.

[kiss kiss]

- [laughing]

I HAVE MY LEGS! I HAVE MY LEGS!

I CAN DANCE AGAIN. OOH.

all: YAY.

- YEAH.

- TAYLOR, THANKS FOR HAVING MY BACK.

- OF COURSE. WE'RE FRIENDS, RIGHT?

- SO I HAVE NO CLUE HOW THIS'LL WORK--

TWO FAMILIES, ONE HOUSE--

BUT WE'RE WILLING TO TRY IF YOU ARE.

- YEAH. - WE ARE.

- YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.

- [scoffs] FOR NOW.

- DID THE LITTLE ONE JUST SAY "FOR NOW"?

I-I THINK HE JUST SAID "FOR NOW."

- THIS IS...NICE.

- HEY, I KNOW.

WHY DON'T WE ALL GO AROUND THE ROOM AND--

all: NO.

- I THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

I'M TAYLOR, AND I THINK

LIVING WITH GHOSTS WILL BE ALL RIGHT.

- BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

WHO WANTS TURKEY?

[jazzy music playing]

- THEN AGAIN, MAYBE NOT.

- LOUIE.

NOT BAD, SON.

- THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME.

*