Original subtitles

I'm Alex now.

I was just an average kid until an accident changed my life.

And since then, nothing's been the same.

My best friend Ray thinks it's cool.

My sister Annie thinks I'm a science project.

I can't let anyone else know.

Not even my parents.

I know the chemical plant was to find me and turn me into some experiment.

But you know something?

I guess I'm not so average anymore.

That one looks like it's got a wheel, like a car.

Nah, more like a scooter.

Nah, a motorcycle.

Yeah, yeah, the new X15 Turbo.

Man, wouldn't it be sweet to show up for the first day of high school on a brand

new bike?

First day of high school?

Is it really tomorrow?

The end is near.

Just four easy years.

Easy? Once you get into ninth grade, everything counts.

Counts? Towards what?

Towards college, towards careers, towards whether or not we pass the

test. One false move and your entire life is ruined.

Oh, come on, Alex. That's exactly what you said about junior high.

Annie keeps telling me high school's no picnic.

Robin, you've been real quiet.

Tell me what you see.

I see two worlds colliding, the old and the new.

I see evil and destruction from which we will never recover.

I see life as we know it ceasing to exist and a desolate future stretching

endlessly before us.

Yeah, I guess I kind of see that too.

I hear I was going to say it looked like a fluffy little kitty.

You know something?

There is something weird about these clouds.

Welcome to So You Wanna Be a Spy, a quick and easy study -at -home program

everyone who wants to be able to catch international jewel thieves, solve

-old murder mysteries, or simply eavesdrop on neighbors without getting

So, you wanna be a spy? Yes, I do. First, take out your official So You

a Spy journal and write down why you wanna be a spy.

I want to find the kid that I doused with the secret chemical GC -161.

Excellent. You are ready to begin.

George, there's so many choices this semester.

How does this course sound?

Supervised field instruction in the dynamics of social behavior and

It's not a subject I'm familiar with. I wouldn't be able to help you with your

homework.

I do not need any help with my homework, George.

You know, you and Annie are not the only smarty pants.

Smarty Pants is whatever in this family.

I'm smart, too.

And so is Alex.

And speaking of Alex, where is she?

Her breakfast is getting really soggy.

She's still upstairs trying on outfits, getting ready for her first big day of

high school.

Sound familiar?

I'm told already. Doesn't this awkward phase ever end?

I'm a geek.

I'm a geek in a vest.

Alex, come on, honey. It's breakfast.

Alex is very nervous today. I want us to all be supportive of her, okay?

Alex, you look completely fine.

I'm going up to check. No, no. The vest looks wonderful.

Alex, I made you breakfast.

You didn't make me lunch, too, did you?

Um, yeah.

You didn't. No, I didn't.

How about pizza money instead?

Really?

High school may not be that bad after all.

As long as you don't let the bullies steal that money.

Annie, enough.

Could you excuse us for a moment, please?

George? Alex, can we talk to you for just a second?

About? About school.

Now, no one is expecting you to perform like Annie, but we do want you to start

focusing a little more on your schoolwork. Right. I mean, your grades

have been fine, but you're heading into high school now, sweetheart, so whatever

you do from this point on...

It really matters.

You may not realize it, but this is the start of your adult life.

But we don't want to put any pressure on you.

I'll get it.

Hi, boys. Hello, fellas. Hi.

You guys aren't bringing notebooks or pencils?

It's the first day. What could there be to write down?

I've got some breath mint.

Hey, Ray. Hey.

Do it.

Congratulations. Oh, thanks, Annie.

What did we do?

You passed eighth grade.

I never thought I'd live to see it.

Oh, good luck on your math placement test today.

What placement test?

Well, the school has to give you tests to determine what level of class you

belong in.

So, we're taking tests today?

I'll bet.

Hope you've got a sharp pencil.

What?

Total doom.

Maybe it'll be better once we get inside.

Alex, what kind of sick place expects you to take tests when you haven't even

learned anything?

That is illegal, isn't it? You guys, isn't this sweet? I could just kiss

brick on this beautiful facade.

High school, we are finally here. We've made it. I mean, Latin and trig and

calculus.

This is too good to be true.

The horror.

God, the horror.

Might as well just get it over with. Oh, man.

I think I feel my breakfast coming up in me.

Since this is your first day as a spy, pick some suspect at random and follow

their every move.

It's fun.

Who thinks math is important?

Raise your hands.

You're wrong.

Math is more than important.

Math is vital.

Without math, we couldn't count our toes.

We wouldn't know the calories in a bowl of cereal. We wouldn't know what time it

was. We wouldn't know when it was 3 o 'clock, and we would be in this room

forever.

Math rules your life.

Now.

Who thinks math is vital?

Better.

Now, those of you who do not score well will be placed in other classes.

You may begin.

Those of you who do not score well will be placed in other classes.

Have a good one. Have a good one.

I'm so nervous that it nearly took me five minutes to figure out the answer of

my name and address.

Wasn't that test hard? More like impossible.

This whole school's hard.

And the teachers are mean.

And this teacher's terrible.

Four years. I don't know how we're ever going to make it through.

Look, you guys, all we have to do is stick together.

Let's make a promise right now. One for all and all for... Hey, look, there's

Nicole. Make room. Hey, you guys, this is my new friend Jamie Berman. You don't

mind if I eat with her today, do you?

What if we do mine?

Well, it's too late now.

I'm in the dumb class. Yeah, me too.

But you guys aren't bad at math.

Well, according to this test we are. Who are we to judge?

Well, I did all right.

All right?

You're in the smart class.

Gee, we're shocked.

Alex, um, I'm in the smart class, too.

You?

Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence.

You know, my whole family's smart. Maybe I am, too.

Yeah, right.

Who'd you copy off? Oh, come on, Lewis. Maybe Alex has been playing it down all

these years.

What class are you in, Robin?

The middle.

I'll go myself.

It's lonely at the middle.

See? We're all split up. Do you know what this means?

Yes, a time to grow, move on, make new friends.

Oh, there's Jamie. Excuse me.

It's over.

I don't think we're the same again.

If you see something interesting,

make a note of it.

She made the book move.

Whoever you are, this had better be important.

Dave.

I thought we had an agreement that you were never to speak to me again.

Miss H. Ron, if I could just... Miss H. Ron.

You're not going to leave my office until I let you speak, are you?

All right. You may speak one.

Ms.

H. Rod, I know I didn't do a good job in the past when you wanted me to find the

GC -161 kit, which is why you had to demote me back to truck driving, but I

really want you to think I'm a good employee, which is why I'm working so

at truck driving that I finished early today and I realized I had time if you'd

like me to come by and clean your office.

I am very late for an important meeting, and I never want to see your face.

in my office again and

make sure you polish the desk

The Jazz of Rain.

Hey, yeah.

Block any floor and you'll be going backwards.

What's the matter?

I hate my math class.

Tell us about it.

We're in with a bunch of criminals.

It's dangerous.

We never should have cheated on our placement test.

You cheated and you still got into the dumb class?

Well, we got the answers wrong on purpose. We thought being in the lowest

would make life easy. Big mistake.

I don't believe you guys. You cheated your way into the dumb class?

It was his idea.

I seem to have stumbled upon an entire group of cheaters.

You think you know your kids so well, and then she goes and surprises you like

that. It's great.

There's a lot about Alex you don't know.

Alex, we were just talking about you.

Yeah. We are so proud of you getting into that high -level math class.

We always knew you were smart.

Yeah, just a late starter, that's all.

Bet you're having fun now.

Actually, it is a little tough. Maybe I don't really belong there.

Oh, come on now. Nothing like a little challenge, is there?

Yeah, honey, you can't doubt yourself. You just have to do it.

So, do you want to help us with this puzzle?

I think I'll go do some homework.

Mark? And modest.

Hey, any idea with keeping Alex? She's missed breakfast every morning this

I'll go check.

Thank you.

What are you writing?

Uh, my locker combination.

Excellent. Divided by y equals n cubed.

Some combination.

Well, you can see why I can't remember it.

Why are you cheating in math?

I'm not cheating. I'm not in the mood to talk about it right now. Alex, leave me

alone. Alex!

No! You are not leaving this room until you talk to me!

I made it!

What? What do you want from me?

What's up with the cheating? That's not like you.

It's just that we have big tests today.

Just this week I need to do okay, then I'll stop.

How much have you been cheating so far?

Just a little bit.

On everything we've done?

Every day?

Alex.

I know.

I just I can't stop. Mom and Dad think I'm smart. I don't want to disappoint

them. You are smart.

You don't have to be a genius.

I'm in way over my head, Annie. If I stop cheating now, I won't be able to

answer a single question all semester.

And you need to find a way out of the advanced class.

I know.

But what am I supposed to do?

I would throw yourself at the mercy of the principal.

But what am I supposed to say?

Admit it.

Tell the truth.

It's the easiest thing to remember.

True.

Lars, Danielle.

I've been thinking a bit about your suggestion.

The one where we select an unsuspecting employee to test GC -161 on. It works.

It works!

I assume you had someone in mind.

No, not Dave.

There's something wrong with... Dave, he was supposed to come in here yesterday

to clean my office and... Forgot to clean!

Anyway, Lars, I've never understood our inability to find the kid. I mean,

somebody doused with that much GC -161 obviously has some extraordinary

abilities. Now, how has he been able to keep them hidden for so long?

Extraordinary abilities.

Kid is Alex Mack.

The principal is your pal.

The principal is your pal.

We'd like to take our math placement tests over again.

You see, we ended up in the dumb class, and although we may appear to be dumb,

we're really not.

And I'd like to take my test over again because I ended up in the smart class.

Even though I may appear to be smart, I'm really not that smart.

You see, when it comes to math, we're totally average.

For two years I've been looking for someone, and now I've found her.

It feels good.

I thought I'd done something terrible to her, but now I know she's happy.

Danielle and Vince want to do harm to her.

I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen.

Before we begin, I would like to introduce three new members of our

Alex Mack, Louis Driscoll, and Raymond Alvarado.

Now, how about a little pop quiz to see how we're all doing?

As a master spy, you will learn.

Sometimes we...

to keep it to yourself.

Alex your secret is safe with me.